This is a work of mostly fiction, if it is illegal to read this sort of thing where you are then you probably shouldn't do it, or at least don't get caught doing it. I have nothing else to say, all usual disclaimers apply.
Texas Ranger: Part 1
I was scared shitless. I sat behind the wheel of my beat up truck on the way to the airport, my heart beating fast and my breathing erratic and heavy. My window was rolled down on the warm summer evening, the smoke from my cigarette wafting out on the breeze. I only really smoked when I was stressed, and I had polished off almost a pack a day since he had said he would come see me. It was the most nerve wracking experience of my life, and in my nineteen years I had experienced quite a few emotional rollercoaster's.
I pulled on to the highway and tossed my cigarette butt out the window, grabbing another from the pack sitting on the dash and lighting it up with the jet lighter from my pocket. Before I slipped it back into my pocket I glanced at it. It was an Ed Hardy lighter, and had the classic "Love Kills Slowly" quote on it. I don't know why I had that damn thing... not like I knew what love was. But maybe...
As usual my thoughts went to him. To Andy. My dream boy, the boy that my heart told me I loved unconditionally but that my mind told me would never work, allowing my emotions to rest at a not-so-happy medium where I really, REALLY liked him. I had never met him in person, but his arrival tonight was, planned or not, exactly five months from the first day I started talking to him. To really understand, I guess one would have to know about me... My parents divorced when I was two, and every Friday for eighteen years I would switch between a verbally and sometimes physically abusive father and his new wife, or a depressed, angry mother who hated all men but had only me in her life. Dad yelled a lot, and since I could talk it had been beaten into me that I would never succeed at anything, ever. I would never be happy, I would never find someone, I was just a little fag who couldn't do anything. As usual when my thoughts drifted to him I chuckled a little. A fag... If only he knew.
All of my friends knew I was gay, but my parents were as of yet oblivious to my preferences. Dad I didn't see very much since I moved out, and mom never cared enough to notice anything.
There I went again... letting my thoughts drift away. I had started reading gay erotica when I was barley fifteen, and almost five and a half months ago I had decided to try writing a story. The story went well, and helped me deal with some of my inner issues. It was an excellent outlet, one which I used often. My favorite thing about it was always the emails I would receive. Then one day... I got an email from HIM. To this day I will still call him Candy Cane Guy, as his email address proclaimed without actually identifying his name. Almost all the people I met through my story were older then I, usually a lot older, but in his email he mentioned that he was young. I responded with my usual answer, then made some noncommittal comment about how he shouldn't think he was that young, thinking that I may have some guy under the age of 30 email me. I left my house after replying to his email, I still remember almost exactly what I did that day. I was handing out resumes trying to get a new job. And I left not understanding the monumental changes I had initiated by the simple response to his simple statement. I met some friends and we went job hunting then on the train ride home, I checked my phone, he had responded.
Looking forward to gaining another E-pal, I found out that he was actually five months younger then me, And since I had just had my nineteenth birthday a month before, that made him eighteen. Once I got home I responded and in the next twenty four hours we exchanged over 160 emails between us, talking almost constantly.
I found out that he lived in Texas, in a smaller town I had never heard of since it was thousands of miles from my own home in Canada. He was perfect in every way to me, he sang and danced, was happy all the time it seemed, and he was cute as hell. When we exchanged pictures he said I was cute, which to this day I think is a lie, no one who looks like him should be interested in me, but I took it at face value. He was mostly in the closet about his sexual preferences, almost to the same level as me where only his close friends knew but not his parents. He was convinced he was bi however, which I always found a little funny since I had been "bi" since I was fifteen and my friend had always said that being bi was a one way street to homosexuality. I had only really come out totally a few months previously. I tried not to bug him about it but I did it by accident sometimes, he would laugh uncomfortably and brush it off. He After we emailed each other almost every ten minutes for a week, we decided to see if we could text, since it would be easier. He found that he could text my number free of charge but I found that I would have to pay twenty five cents per message, and since we averaged about two hundred text's a day, that would never do. An angry phone call to my phone company later, we were in business and our relationship went to the next level, a small level, but to me it meant a lot.
A few days into the texting, I mentioned it would be nice to hear his voice. He agreed more readily then I thought he would and called me almost immediately, I almost didn't answer, I swear I stared at my phone for a good five rings before pressing the answer button. His voice was amazing to hear, everything and more then what I expected it to be. I had never been good at extended phone conversations, and the longest one I had ever had was less then an hour before that, and yet with him, I spoke for almost five hours and the only reason we stopped was because we were both exhausted. I had also never taken part in phone sex of any sort, and in the last hour the "Are you hard" question was brought up. We both were, and so we started jerking ourselves while on the phone. With the steady sound of his increasingly heavy breathing in my ears, I came almost as hard as I normally do when I'm actually having sex. It was the greatest orgasm I had ever had while by myself physically and I was hooked. Hooked on his voice, and on him.
We talked almost every night, even if only for a few hours and I often mentioned how amazing it would be to see him in person. He always said I would someday, that he would fly up and see me. I never really believed him, I thought that there was no way my feelings would be reciprocated by this amazing boy who was always on my thoughts. Then on night, he said it.
"So, I leave in a month."
"Where are you going?" I was puzzled, I knew almost everything that he did and he had never mentioned this before.
"To see someone very special."
My mind was in overdrive at this point, furiously thinking who he could be going to see.
"Who, and where?"
"Someone I've been wanting to see for a very long time... You have to guess who."
At this point my mind caught a whiff of a thought, the tiniest inkling about what maybe, possibly, MIGHT be happening. No, it was too good to be true.
"Miley Cyrus?"
He laughed, music to my ears. "No, guess again."
"Are you heading north?"
"Yes,"
"To Canada..." He had a few friends in Canada, maybe he was seeing one of them.
"Yes."
"Toooooo see..."
"Go on!"
"Me?"
"Yup!"
I think that at that moment, I nearly fainted. A tsunami of emotions cascaded through my head, bouncing around with tireless abandon. Excitement, he was actually coming! Happiness, maybe this could be more then the unnerving long distance thing it was. Nervousness, that was to be expected. Cold, hard fear, what if he didn't like me? I thought I was ugly as sin, I was overweight and didn't look special at all, what if he got here and just turned away from me in disgust. I stayed silent for a long few seconds, not sure what to think...
"You still there hun? I know you are, I can hear you breathing. Are you alright? I'm sorry I didn't meant to spring that on you, I can return the ticket if your not ready its just you said-"
"NO! No I want you to come here more then anything! I was just surprised."
After I hung up that night I ran from my room in the basement into the top floor of the house I shared with my two best friends. We had moved in together two months previous and it was going well aside from a few facts like how I was a total neat freak and they... weren't.
I burst into the living room where both of them were watching television. Both Mimi and Alexis looked up and gave me a weird look at the time.
"He's coming. Here. Soon. Oh my god."
They were the only ones who knew that I had been talking to someone I met online, and they knew almost everything about Andy I knew, almost. There were some pictures and conversations that one simply did not share. They were both really excited and over the next two weeks we set about cleaning the house. There was a guest bedroom and I had an awkward moment when I couldn't decide if we needed to prepare it or if he would sleep with me. I decided to make it up anyways so he could chose since I obviously couldn't. The two weeks after that leading up to his arrival were the longest two weeks in my memory, and I could hardly focus on anything. Finally the day arrived and Mimi had to restrain me from leaving for the airport seven hours early, so instead I spent six hours dressing and changing, fixing my hair, changing again and trying to make myself look as presentable as possible. Which leads back to me behind the wheel of my old dodge pick up. I saw the airport ahead and took the exit, then found a parking spot as close to the doors as possible. I got out of the truck and went to the big doors leading into the arrivals area. I still had about thirty minutes to kill so I went to the shop and bought a tea and went outside to have another smoke. I ended up having seven or eight more. Five minutes before the plane started disembarking I was at the gate, pacing anxiously and staring hard at the closed foggy glass doors that he would emerge through. They opened and I swear I yelped a little. An old woman walked through, and then more and more people. I stood there for almost half an hour, then the people started dwindling and eventually almost no one was passing through. I looked around, had I missed him? I started getting really nervous. What if he had lied? Dad had always said I would never be happy, that no one could possibly like me... Maybe he was right and Andy had played me for a fool. I felt the cold walls of depression start surrounding my mind. A tear rolled down my cheek and my hands were shaking.
The doors slid open quietly and I looked up. It was as if a ray of sunlight blew through my head, blasting away my sadness and fears. It was him. He was even more gorgeous in person. 6'4" with longer brown hair, an athletic build and broad shoulders, stylishly dressed if looking a little bedraggled from the long flight. He looked around and saw me and our eyes met for the first time. He had such beautiful eyes... But this was the moment, you could tell so much about how someone was feeling from their eyes, I would know what he thought, at least I hoped so. He smiled, and it was the most amazing sight I had ever seen. He didn't just smile with his lips, but it took his entire face and caressed it in happiness, and his eyes sparkled. He walked over to me quickly and dropped his bag and without warning hugged me. I stood there shocked for a moment then gladly returned the hug. He was so warm, and despite a nine inch height difference we seemed to just fit in each others arms. I felt his breath on my neck and wanted to stand like that forever. All too soon, he pulled away and said "Sorry, I got held up at customs, didn't mean to keep you waiting."
His voice washed over me and it sounded so much better in person. I mentally slapped myself for my giddiness. Snap out of it!
"That's fine, shall we go grab your luggage?"
We walked over to the baggage claim area with him chatting happily about the flight and other things, and me in a daze thinking that this couldn't be happening for real, it was too good to be true. We got his two suitcases and went to my truck where we tossed them in the back and climbed into the cab. The drive to my house seemed to take seconds, we had no trouble holding a conversation for the actual forty five minutes it took to get there. Once we arrived we went into the house, I had arranged for Mimi to sleep at her boyfriends tonight and Alexis was staying with her sister in law so we had the house to ourselves. I led him to the closed door of my room where we dropped the bags then I led him to the kitchen and started the tour of the house, starting with our tiny dining room, then Mimi's bedroom on the top floor, our closet sized kitchen and then downstairs again where my bedroom, a bathroom and Alexi's bedroom and the guest room were located. I opened the door to my room and we stepped in.
I had the largest room in the house, since I payed the most rent and had the most stuff to bring with me when I moved out of my moms house. I had a large queen sized bed in one corner, a wardrobe, a couch and a television. My laptop was set up on the table next to the couch. I stood next to him nervously as he surveyed my room, his expression unreadable. Did he like it? Was my furniture arranged properly? The walls the right color? Why was I even thinking these things... His voice jolted me out of my thoughts.
"It's so clean... You weren't kidding when you said you were a neat freak."
I laughed nervously and smiled. Why did I feel so awkward around him? My mind turned to the question of sleeping arrangements and I was debating how to pose the question while sounding cool, when he said "So, do you like the left or the right?"
I was caught off guard so all I managed was "Huh?" Yeah, I'm quick on my feet like that.
"Sides of the bed! Which side do you normally sleep on?"
"Umm, right I guess."
"Cool, I'll take the left."
He was going to sleep with me. In my bed. Touching me. I swear I started to bone up almost instantly. I quickly took his bags and walked across the room and set them down, trying to distract my mind from my loins. I glanced at the clock and saw that it was now twelve am, one am for him since he was usually an hour ahead.
"Are you tired? Hungry?" I asked, regaining a little composure outwardly.
"I could eat if you don't mind. Plane food isn't what you would call filling." He smiled as he said this, and I felt myself smiling back, god he was beautiful.
I told him to follow me back upstairs and we walked into the tiny kitchen of the house. I set about making him something, using almost five years of working in kitchens and a year of chef school to try and make him something that would impress him. I HAD to impress him. Twenty minutes later I placed a plate down in front of him with a veal Milanese in tomato sauce, and a heaping pile of saffron rice. He looked at his plate and then at me, as usual I couldn't read the expression on his face.
"You know... some toast would have been fine." His face broke into a huge grin as he said this. I felt myself blush. Did he think I was weird now? Had I gone to far?
"But this... Wow. This tastes amazing!"
My face HURT I smiled so big when he said that. Covering up for my silence up to that point I sat down with my own plate and said "Toast my ass, not in this house." We sat for more then an hour talking, as usual finding no difficulty in doing nothing but chatting, seeing as by this point we would normally be in our respective rooms in different countries talking to each other on the phone. He yawned really big and I suggested we clean up and head downstairs. We threw the dishes in the sink and tidied up, then walked back down to my room.
I knew he usually slept naked, and I honestly didn't think I would be able to sleep with him in my bed with no clothes, I was having enough issues with him just being here! We chatted and he nonchalantly took off his hoodie and shirt and tossed them in a heap on the floor. I stopped what I was doing and stood there staring at him for a moment. I had seen pictures before, after five months there wasn't much of him I HADN'T seen, but in person, my mind went into overdrive. His skin looked so soft, like velvet, and he had an amazing tan, something you didn't see much of up here in the great white north and his chest was covered in very fine light hair that made it look even softer. He was well toned and beautiful in every way. My mind started down its usual depressive path when I thought about what he would say about ME without my shirt. I was chunky, and had a fair amount of black hair on my chest. Nothing he hadn't seen already but I was incredibly self conscious about my body and aside form the handful of girls and smaller handful of guys I had slept with in the past no one had seen me without a shirt. I don't know if he sensed my anxiety or what, but he turned away from me and flicked out the light, giving me a small measure of privacy. How did he know that... deciding to not think about his uncanny ability to read me I quickly stripped off down to my boxers and walked over to my side of the bed. I heard him get in and I sat on the edge of my bed.
"Andy..."
"Yeah?" He sounded nervous to me, but I was more so.
"You know how I told you that I have nightmares sometimes." I had a nightmare almost every night, usually centered around the events taking place in my life and involving my dad yelling at me in the background that I failed, or I was a fag, or how I would never be happy. They woke me up almost every night.
"Yeah, I remember."
"Are you sure you want to sleep here? I don't want to wake you if I... ya know."
I felt a hand on my shoulder and his touch sent a jolt through me. He pulled back gently until I was laying down next to him I turned so I was facing him and in the dim light from my alarm I could see his face, outlined softly by the green glow.
"Matty, I came here to see YOU. I don't care if you get up at three am and play the tuba, I'm here."
He smiled at me and I felt my heart swell. He closed his eyes to go to sleep and I turned over to my usual position, facing away from him and towards my bedroom door. We laid like that for a few minutes, I could feel the tension building in the air, neither of us knew how the other really wanted to act. Finally, he must have come to some decision in his head, I felt his arm slide around me and pull me close to him so he was spooning me. I felt something hard and long against my ass and knew he was just as hard as I was. But we both seemed to understand that we needed a little more time before anything like that happened. But just being in his arms, feeling his skin touching mine, his hot breath on my neck, it was electrifying. I don't think I had ever been so comfortable in my life, how could I sleep when being awake was so fulfilling?
Despite that thought, almost as soon as I felt his breathing steady into the rhythm of sleep, I felt myself begin to drift off into the land of slumber. For the first time in many months, I didn't have nightmares that night.
I awoke at 8 the next morning, as I normally did. I felt slightly disoriented at first, but I cracked my eyes open and found myself looking down his chest. My head was resting on his left shoulder with my arm over his stomach The first thing I noticed was his smell. It was intoxicating. I had always loved the smell of another guy, but his was absolutely amazing and his skin was so soft and warm, I could stay like this forever. As I looked down his chest I saw that his boxers were being sorely pressed to contain the swollen member inside them. I grinned and snuggled up closer to him, closing my eyes and just enjoying being near him for the first time, trying hard not to press my own erection into his leg to much. I must have dozed off again because I awoke to someone gently running a hand through my thick black hair. I opened my eyes and looked up into his face. He was smiling at me with that angelic look on his face. His hair was in a disarray from sleeping and I thought he had never looked so good in his life. My face was scant inches from his and I felt myself lean forwards slightly, and he bent towards me, our eyes locked on each others. Suddenly our lips were touching each others and I felt his breath flow into me. It was the most amazing thing I had ever felt in my life. His lips were soft, and his breath was sweet. I felt his hand which was now on my shoulder, return to the back of my head and gently press me harder against him, pushing our lips tightly against one and other. My hand was resting on his chest, and I could feel his heartbeat through his skin. I felt his tongue in my mouth and I touched it with my own, then slipped it past his and into his mouth. His hand pushed against my head harder and my arm slid around him and pushed him into me. I felt his dick touch mine as he rolled over to improve the angle of his kiss, and I swear I almost came right there. My mind was pulled away from these thoughts when he bit my top lip softly, eliciting a slight moan from me. God he was an amazing kisser. I pressed myself against him harder and bit his bottom lip before resuming the tongue wrestling match anew. I had no idea how long it lasted but they were single greatest minutes of my life. When we eventually separated, we were both breathing heavily. He smiled at me and I knew that even if I had wanted to I couldn't have stopped the stupid grin from plastering itself across my face.
"Morning dream boy." I quipped, it was my usual greeting text that I sent him, only this time I could still taste him, and feel his warmth, and smell him. He wasn't just a dream any longer.
"Hi. So what's up?" I laughed at his use of the response he always gave me over the phone. I hugged him tighter and let my head rest on his chest. It was silent for a long time then he said "Whatcha thinking?"
"I'm thinking that two weeks isn't very long."
I felt his arms encircle me and he hugged me tight.
"You always tell me to not dwell on things that cant be changed, so don't think about it. Let's enjoy our time together and see what happens."
We eventually got out of bed after a few hours of cuddling and talking. I graciously let him have the shower first and while he was in the shower I cleaned up my room a little, picking up our clothes and laying his suitcases on the coffee table. When he eventually emerged from the shower he waltzed into my room wearing nothing but a towel tied loosely around his waist, showing off the defined V leading down his stomach and his skin looked softer then ever. I quickly walked past him into the bathroom hiding my raging hard on. It was going to be an interesting two weeks...
There may be more... maybe not. Who knows. Email me at matt-k-d@hotmail.com if you feel the need to say something.