TG REPOST: "The Draft" by Michelle Lurker

From agate!howland.reston.ans.net!vixen.cso.uiuc.edu!uwm.edu!chi-news.cic.net!news.uiowa.edu!uunet!in1.uu.net!news.tele.fi!news.funet.fi!news.eunet.fi!anon.penet.fi Fri Oct 13 15:29:53 1995 Message-ID: 194315Z12101995@anon.penet.fi Path: agate!howland.reston.ans.net!vixen.cso.uiuc.edu!uwm.edu!chi-news.cic.net!news.uiowa.edu!uunet!in1.uu.net!news.tele.fi!news.funet.fi!news.eunet.fi!anon.penet.fi Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories,alt.sex.stories.tg X-Anonymously-To: alt.sex.stories,alt.sex.stories.tg Organization: Anonymous forwarding service Reply-To: an173204@anon.penet.fi Lines: 559 Xref: agate alt.sex.stories:105473 alt.sex.stories.tg:1002

The Draft

by Michelle Lurker (c) 1995

PART ONE

The Turboway stopped abruptly, snapping Paul Mathhews out of his daze. Around the car the other passengers seemed unfazed, though slightly annoyed. This was becoming yet another one of the daily trials of living in the city... along with crime, pollution, and indifference, unscheduled stops of the Turboway were now commonplace. Paul looked out the window, but could see only darkness, and his own reflection.

"Probably damn protesters again", mumbled a well dressed businessman in the seat next to Paul.

Paul looked to the man, unsure if the comment was directly posed to him or if it was just meant for the whole car. Paul shrugged a 'what are you going to do?' shrug at the man and looked around absently. Finally, after about five minutes, an intercom broke the uneasy silence of the car.

"TURBOWAY CAR 73 WILL RETURN TO STATION 54, DUE TO... UNFORSEEN COMPLICATIONS WITH THE TRACK AT STATION 55...", the cold mechanical voice uttered, "ALTERNATE TRANSPORTATION WILL BE PROVIDED AT THAT POINT. THAT IS ALL."

The car erupted into a low chorus of grumbling and complaining, and Paul checked his watch. 0843. Great... he'd be late for school again. It seemed to Paul that apparently the School System didn't know, or care, about the problems with the Turboways. Nope, regardless of his excuse he'd be put on work detention. Again. Paul was thinking of how much he hated work detention when the car lurched back into motion, back towards the previous station. The man next to him sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Damn protesters... should just take the whole lot and put the up against the wall...", he said, and Paul was sure that this time his comment was directed at no one in particular.

As the car excellerated Paul looked out the window, at the rapidly passing darkness. He looked at his watch again, and sighed...

As he expected the Attendance Administrator didn't care that the Turboway had been the cause of his lateness, and Paul was given one day of work detention. He figured he had got off pretty easily, actually, considering the number of times he'd been late. Still, one day of work detention was more than enough to put him in a foul mood for the rest of the day.

He made his way along to his first class, History. His teacher, Mr. Billings, seemed uninterested when Paul handed him the admittance card. Mr. Billings swept the card through the reader next to his terminal, checked to see that everything was okay, and looked to Paul for a moment.

"Well... don't just stand there like an idiot, Matthews, sit down!" he said, with obvious dislike in his voice.

Paul knew that Billings did not like him. You see, Mr. Billings was Head Coach of the football team at School System Centre #21, and didn't care for students that didn't fit his particular brand of "macho". Paul was nowhere near Billings ideal of a man... slim build, shorter than average, fair skinned. The teacher had made numerous allusions to Paul's shortcomings, both to him privately and in front of class. That had always been a source of embarrasment for Paul, and entertainment for the 'jocks' in the class.

Mr. Billings returned to the lesson - yet more information on "The Reformation and It's Impact on Our Society - and Paul's mind drifted. This was definitely shaping out to be a horrible day. A horrible day, Paul thought, like so many others...

After school Paul had an uneventful Turboway ride home, and was greeted by his Mother when he opened the front door.

"School called..." she said, obviously dismayed, "Another day of Work Detention? Your Father will be furious!"

Paul shrugged absently, and looked away, "It was the damn Turboway..."

"Paul... I don't care what your excuse is, and don't use language like that. The point is that you have another day of Work Detention..." his Mother continued. Paul shrugged again, frustrated. "Well... go to your room and wash up, your Father will be home soon and supper is almost ready."

Paul carried his schoolbag upstairs to his room and washed up. When he was done slumped down onto his bed, deciding to watch the television until his Father got home rather than listen to his Mother complain even more. He clicked the screen on and turned to the News channel. A rock-jawed announcer began to spew out the days events...

"Further developments in the Turboway Station #55 malfunction today... Police are blaming Protestors, who apparently hacked into the Turboway mainframe and shut the station down..."

Gee, Paul thought, I wonder if the Attendance Administrator watches the News...

"There should be no concern, however, as the Police Anti-Hacking Unit has traced the source of the illegal activity. In other stories, a major success for our forces in the Southwestern Continent War... an entire division of enemy forces were destroyed as..."

The War. It had gone on as long as Paul could remember. If it wasn't the Southwestern Continent it was the Eastern Allianance, or the Central Continent... it didn't seem to matter. There was always a war, just as there was always crime, pollution, and, as it now seemed, there were always Turboway interruptions.

He was almost drifting into sleep when he heard his Father come home. Through supper he absently listened to his Father's lectures on responsibility, on how he had never done a day of work detention when he was in school, on the Football trophies, on everything. When it finally ended Paul excused himself to his room. His Father mumbled something and nodded.

As he closed his bedroom door Paul looked around his room, and sighed. Everything in life seemed to be going wrong. He looked at his desk, and his history lesson disc stared back at him. Printed on the disk was "The Reformation, Chapters 5-8". He moaned at the thought of homework - today had been crappy enough. He thought for a second, and threw his t-shirt over the disk. Why bother?, he thought, I'll be on Work Detention tommorow anyway. He layed down on his bed, and closed his eyes...

Paul was awakened by the loud buzzer of his alarm. He looked at the display... 0500. On a normal school day he wouldn't have to wake up until 0730, but the today Work Detention vehicle would be by to pick him up at 0530. He ambled out of bed, and quietly slipped down to the kitchen to have some breakfast. His parents were still sleeping when he shut the door behind him.

The Work Detention vehicle soundlessly glided up in front of his house, and he walked to the rear entrance. He had been through this before, so he knew the routine. He swiped his ID card through the reader, and put his thumb down on the scanner. The Supervisor gruffly nodded that everything was okay, and handed him coveralls. He quickly slipped them over his clothing and took a seat. There were already six other boys aboard, and after him there would be one more to complete the unit at eight. The vehicle started again, and Paul closed his eyes, hoping that the day would end soon.

As the vehicle stopped again, for the last boy, Paul looked to the rear door. His breath caught, and he shuddered. Well, I thought this day couldn't get any worse, he mused, but it just did. Getting into the vehicle was Tom Renalds, one of the jocks from Mr. Billings' football team. Tom had harassed Paul many times at school, once even giving him a black eye for no particular reason.

After completing the sign-in routine and pulling on his coveralls Tom took the last seat - next to Paul.

"Well, well, look who we have here... Ms. Matthews", he mumbled to Paul, who tried to ignore him, "I thought only boys were put on work detention... not cocksucking pussies like you..."

As Tom chuckled to himself the Supervisor looked over. "Shut up," he said, "No talking allowed..."

Tom gave a look to the Supervisor, but seeing his tazerstick he tought better of it. Instead, he turned his sneer to Paul, and wordlessly communicated his intentions...

The Work Detention crew eventually reached their destination, Turboway Station #23. They were told their assignment - cleaning of the Turboway shafts and passenger areas, and Paul figured that maybe it wouldn't be quite so bad. Sure, he'd get dirty, but he'd done much worse on Work Detention. The day was brightening slightly when he and Tom were paired as work partners.

Tom had voiced protest at being paired with a 'weakling', but the Supervisor told him to shut up and do what he was told. Their first job was to take a long thick hose and wash out the northbound Turboway shaft. Turbos were scheduled around these cleaning periods, but Paul still didn't like the idea of going into those dark tunnels, espescially with Tom.

They carried the heavy hose into the tunnel, Tom periodocally complaining to Paul to 'pick up the slack.' Finally they reached their destination, a few hundred metres into the tube, and Paul turned the hose on. They would normally take turns directing the hose and monitoring pressure, but Tom figured Paul didn't have the strength to hold the hose still. Fine, Paul thought, fuck you...

As he washed down the walls, Tom began to talk. "Hey pussy, how come you like sucking cocks so much?" He laughed as Paul ignored him, but continued. "I guess you wish you were a chick, huh pussy? Then you could suck all the cocks in the world, and no one would care... and you could take big cocks into your hole and love it. You want to, don't you?"

Paul ignored him. Tom finished cleaning the section and Paul turned the water off. Paul picked up the pressure unit and started to go. "Better get moving..." he said, nervously.

Tom's hand grabbed his shoulder, and spun him around, pinning him against the Turboshaft wall. "Not so quick, pussy... don't you get all hot and horny being down here with a real man? I bet you're thinking about sucking my cock right now, aren't you?"

Paul started, "Tom, I think..."

"Shut up!", warned Tom, "You think you'd like to suck my cock, right? So tonight when you put on your panties and pretty dress alone in your room you can feel like a real woman..."

"Tom, let's be sensible, there's work to do..."

"Say it, pussy. Say you want to be a girl, so you can suck big cocks... SAY IT!"

"Tom..."

"Okay, if you can't say it, do it..."

Tom was reaching into his coveralls, and Paul was terrified. He knew Tom was nuts, but not like this. Tom pushed Paul's head to his groin, and unleashed his stiffening prick. "It's okay," he said, "I know you want it. It'll be our little secret, pussy..."

Paul was staring at Tom's erection, feeling Tom push his head closer when a shout came from down the shaft. It was the supervisor...

"What the hell is going on here... I want you two fucks back to work NOW!" The Supervisor was still around a bend, and hadn't seen what was going on.

Tom quickly let go of Paul, and shoved his dick back into his pants. "Sorry, Sir", he called, "This weakling little fuck is slowing me down..."

Paul stood, trying to regain his composure. The Supervisor was not close enough to see yet, though his flashlight made shadows on the wall.

"Well anyway, get your asses back to work", he called, and turned back.

Tom looked to Paul, and winked, "Well... I guess you'll have to wait to get your cherry popped, huh pussy?"

He laughed as they collected the hose and went back down the shaft to the next section.

Luckily for Paul the rest of the shaft cleaning was completed uneventfully. And the cleaning of the passenger areas was done in four man crews, under the watch of the supervisor, so Paul didn't feel quite so threatened by Tom. The day went by surprisingly quick, and soon he was handing in his coveralls and receiving his "Work Completed" form at the Detention vehicle. He turned and walked back into the Turboway station... Work Detention made sure you got to the job on time, but when it was done you had to find your own way home. He sighed relief as he noticed Tom walking the other way, toward some other destination.

Paul stood among the busy rush-hour crowds, waiting for the next train. He casually observed himself in a mirrored wall by the track, and noticed just how dirty he was. The coveralls had prevented the worst of it, but his pants were probably ruined.

He stood musing about how dirty he was and how his Mom would have a fit over the ruined pants when he saw the woman. Through the crowd he saw her, at first in the corner of his eye, but he quickly turned to look. She was beautiful... a few years older than his seventeen with long curled golden hair, eyes that blazed a blue fire, and a face that was both youthful and mature. Something else, too, though Paul could not put his finger on it. Concern? Trouble? He wasn't sure.

She wore a conservative grey business suit, though on her it seemed more sexy than anything he'd ever seen. Hmmn, he thought, she must be a secretary at one of the Corporations downtown. It struck Paul odd that she was carrying an attache... he'd only seen business men carry them. And there weren't any business women he knew of...

Paul's mind raced to remember the term... "The Feminist Schism". That was it - he'd read about it in history class. Just after the Reformation there was a major rethinking of Feminist philosophy... Women began to accept the dogma of "Biological Division". Something about being better suited to tasks such as housekeeping, mothering, simple employment tasks. Nope, there weren't any 'business women' (even the term sounded odd in his head), and fewer and fewer secreteries, for that matter. Most women graduated the School System and got married and raised a family nowadays. Still, there she was, carrying an attache. Must be her employer's, he figured.

He watched her move gracefully through the crowd... captured by her every move. She eventually stopped, and set her attache down. She looked around for a few moments (waiting for the train, Paul figured), and then did something that perplexed him. She turned and began to briskly walk away, without her attache.

She must have forgotten something, he figured, and in her rush forgot her attache. He looked at her as she moved, and back to the attache. There was no way he'd be able to reach the attache and get her attention, so he ran after her. Hopefully someone else had noticed and would hold the case for her.

He worked his way through the busy crowd, trying to keep contact with her position. She turned up one of the stairways that led to the city street above. When he reached the stairs there were fewer people, but still enough stragglers trying to catch the next train to impede his movement. He watched her turn a corner and head towards the next stairway.

As he turned the corner he saw her at the base of the stairs, and figured he hade to make his move. "Hey lady," he called, "You forgot your attache!"

She stopped dead, and turned to look at him. For a second his eyes met hers... deep blue, awesome. It took him a second for him to recognize what he saw there - terror!

She turned and began to run up the stairs, and Paul ran after her. He yelled after her, "Wait... I only said you forgot your case... I'm not some weirdo!" She kept running, and he saw her go through the street exit. He ran out into the bright light of day and looked for her. There were people everywhere, but she was gone.

He stood there, at the entrance to the Turboway, and scanned the area again. Nothing. She was gone. Oh well, he thought, I tried. He was just about to head back down to the Turboshaft when he heard a loud explosion down the stairs. Everything went black.

He awoke slowly, to the sound of sirens and confusion. When Paul finally opened his eyes he realized he was on a stretcher. There was smoke and debris everywhere, and a man came over to him. The man yelled as he saw Paul open his eyes, "We've got a conscious one here!"

Another man, probably a Doctor, came over and ran an infrared scanner over Paul's body. "Everything's okay here... just a few bruises and scratches..." Paul was amazed at how oblivious they seemed to his presence.

As the Doctor got up and went away Paul staggered up. Wow, he thought, my head must have taken one hell of a beating. He looked around and saw a number of Police and Soldiers. The shit must have really hit the fan...

He staggered over to an Officer, and asked what had happened.

"An explosion in the Turboway," he said, barely noticing Paul, "We figure it must have been Protestors." The officer turned to look at Paul, and asked "Did you see anything?"

Paul was about to tell him about the girl, but he stopped, unsure why. "Um, no... just heard an explosion and blacked out..."

The officer looked away, "Fine then... listen, the best thing you can do is go home, and get out of the way so we can do our job..."

Paul nodded agreement, though the Officer had walked away. Hmmn, he thought, but he was unable to come to any conclusions about what he was hmmning about, so he turned and began to walk home.

Paul arrived home later than expected, and was ready for a lecture on promptness. He was shocked to find his parents sitting in the den, waiting for him. He began to recount the story of the explosion (omitting the girl) when his Father cut him off...

"Paul," he said solomnley, "Sit down. This came for you..."

Paul took the envelope from his Father's hand, and looked at it. It was from the Department of Overseas Activities. The Army. He quickly opened it and read the letter...

PAUL MATTHEWS,

YOU HAVE BEEN SELECTED TO JOIN THE MILITARY FORCES OF THIS

COUNTRY. THIS IS A GREAT HONOUR. BE AT THE DEPARTMENT OF OVERSEAS

ACTIVITIES AT 0800 ON THE DATE BELOW.

Paul looked at the date. It was the very next day. He looked to his Parents, stunned, "I've been drafted?"

"It would seem so," his Father replied, "I personally think it will be a great opportunity for you... you haven't been getting along too well at school... it will make a man out of you..."

His Father continued, but Paul lost what he was saying. Drafted, he thought. He couldn't believe it. For the first time in his life he stood up while his Father was talking and walked away. When he reached his bedroom he dropped onto his bed. The events of the day came crashing over him, and he fell into a fitful sleep.

The next day he rose as if it were any other, showered and had breakfast. Neither his Father or Mother made any mention of the draft, except for his Father's offer to drive him to the Department. They finished breakfast without further conversation, and soon Paul found himself in their vehicle. He looked to his house as they drove away, unsure if he'd ever see it again.

His Father dropped him off in front of the huge building, and after a few words of encouragement drove away. Paul stood there, and looked at the looming structure. He had only his draft notice, and the clothes on his back.

He pushed open the heavy doors and walked inside. Looking around fruitlessly for a moment he finally went to an information desk, and was directed to the appropriate floor. Stepping out of the lift he saw a long line of other young men. Seeing no other options, he joined it.

The line seemed to go on forever, but he eventually stood before an officer behind a desk. "Form please," the man asked calmly.

Paul stared at him for a second, and realized what he wanted. He handed him the form and the man looked it over. "May I have your ID card?", he asked.

Paul handed him the card and the man looked to him, almost smirking, though Paul could not figure out why. "Special Division F," he said, "Floor 24". He showed Paul the special lift to the floor and sent him on his way.

Riding the lift Paul thought about the man's smirk, and what "Special Division F" might be all about. He reached the floor, and went to the reception desk. Again, the officer took his papers, and checked his ID. He then told Paul to wait in the next room and remove his clothes.

Paul sat in the small room, naked, and feeling very akward. A physical, he presumed, before he found out about his assignment. After what seemed an eternity a man in a white smock entered the room. He smiled and introduced himself as Dr. Phillips.

After a few routine examinations and an injection of some sort the Doctor sat down, and began to talk.

"Paul," he said, "You are a very lucky young man to have been chosen by Special Division F. You will not see active combat."

Paul felt relieved. He wasn't sure what the Special Division was all about, but he was beginning to like it.

The Doctor continued, "But what you will undergo is as important to our country, and our way of life, as the sacrifice of any soldier in the field. Paul, some time ago our enemy conducted secret chemical attacks on our nation. You have not heard about this, as it is classified information. The aim of the attack was not to kill, not outright, but to destroy our greatest resource - our population." Paul was perplexed, not knowing how he fit into all of this.

"The chemical attacks affected only the female portion of the population. They did not harm the women, except for one thing - the effect of the attack left them infertile. Only 20% of our... natural... female population is capable of childbirth..."

Paul was very confused. He tried to ask his part in all of it, but couldn't find the will to speak. In fact, everything was becoming sort of hazy...

"I can see from the look on your face that you are confused as to your role," the Doctor started, "Very common. Paul, for years we had geneticists work on a solution, but none could be found. The effects of the attack were permanent, but finally we stumbled across a solution. You see, Paul, males and females are not so different. We found a process by which we could genetically re-engineer a male into a female, a fertile female. That is where you come in, Paul. A small portion of draftees, who meet certain biological requirements, are assigned to Special Division F. That portion, of which you are a member, are re-engineered into females, so our society can continue!"

Paul was about to raise his opposition, but could not. Everything went hazy, and he passed out.

Paul woke up on a hospital bed. He still felt very hazy, but was regaining his faculties. What had happened?, he thought. The conversation with the Doctor came back to him... great, he thought, I hope the Army knows they have a crackpot working for them. He tried to sit up, and felt very strange. There was a strange tugging at his chest, and he felt as though his body proportions were all wrong. What happened next almost made him pass out again...

He looked across the ward, and saw a beautiful girl sitting up in the bed across from him. She was something, he thought... long dark hair, deep green eyes, very full breasts (as far as he could tell through her hospital gown), pouting lips... she could have been a fashion model, like he saw on TV. Just then, though, something seemed odd about her. Paul raised his hand to brush the hair out of his eyes, and she did so simultaneuosly. What sort of game is she playing?, he thought. He tried to sit up to get a better view, and she sat up too. Wow, he thought, what a flake...

Then, as Paul's eyes began to focus, he noticed something... something completely incongrous with his sense of reality... there was no other bed - he was looking into a mirror! He quickly moved to look more closely, and so did his reflection. Taking his eyes away from the mirror he looked to his hands, long and slender. Dark hair cascaded onto his... breasts? Oh my God, Paul thought, he wasn't a crackpot. He quickly guided his hand under the hospital bedding, under his gown. When he reached his groin he found exactly what he expected - nothing. Nothing that he had had before, anyway...

He dropped back onto the bed, and closed his eyes. What have they done, he thought, I can't be a woman! Just then he heard the Doctor's voice.

"Ahh, Matthews, I see you're awake. Not bad, not bad... the geneticists have really got their work down..."

Paul sat up and looked at him, "What the hell have you done to me?" Even the sound of his voice was alien, feminine...

"I explained all that before, Paul. Or Paula, I guess..." He chuckled. "You are doing your country a great service! Bearing her children!"

"Don't you think my parents might find it odd when I come back from the army with these?" Paul asked, holding his breasts.

"Don't worry... that has been taken care of... Paul Matthews will have died in a battle fighting the forces of the Southern Continent. I'm sure you'll receive a pothsumous medal for bravery, or valor, or something... Your parents will be proud. You, however, will have a new personality, a new family, a new life..."

"And what makes you think I will go along with this? What if I tell every living soul I meet about this 'Special Division F'? What then?"

The Doctor shook his head, "Paul, Paul, Paul. You won't want to. Trust me, you will be very happy..." Just then two large men in hospital uniforms came into the room. One was pushing some sort of machine.

The Doctor injected something into Paul's IV, and he became instantly sleepy. "You see, Paul, our technology is far beyond what you can grasp." One of the men began attaching wires to his forehead. "For all intents and purposes Paul Matthews will be dead. We can wipe your memories and replace them with an entirely new set. One that will be more comfortable, so to speak, in that gorgeous little body..."

Paul felt a small electrical pulsing on his forehead, and then inside his skull. Before he blacked out he heard the Doctor speak one more time...

"Sleep well, fair Paula, for when you wake you will be an entirely new person..."

TO BE CONTINUED...

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From agate!spool.mu.edu!howland.reston.ans.net!vixen.cso.uiuc.edu!uwm.edu!chi-news.cic.net!newsfeed.internetmci.com!dimensional.com!winternet.com!uunet!in2.uu.net!news.tele.fi!news.funet.fi!news.eunet.fi!anon.penet.fi Fri Oct 13 15:29:54 1995 Message-ID: 195312Z12101995@anon.penet.fi Path: agate!spool.mu.edu!howland.reston.ans.net!vixen.cso.uiuc.edu!uwm.edu!chi-news.cic.net!newsfeed.internetmci.com!dimensional.com!winternet.com!uunet!in2.uu.net!news.tele.fi!news.funet.fi!news.eunet.fi!anon.penet.fi Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories,alt.sex.stories.tg From: an173204@anon.penet.fi X-Anonymously-To: alt.sex.stories,alt.sex.stories.tg Organization: Anonymous forwarding service Reply-To: an173204@anon.penet.fi Date: Thu, 12 Oct 1995 19:45:51 UTC Subject: TG REPOST: "The Draft" by Michelle Lurker (2/5) Lines: 549 Xref: agate alt.sex.stories:105477 alt.sex.stories.tg:1003

The Draft

by Michelle Lurker (c) 1995

CHAPTER TWO

Paula giggled as she read the note passed to her. It contained a rather complete description of her best friend Lisa's activities of the previous evening... right down to measurements! Mrs. Stalhorn, Paula's teacher, cleared her throat. "Ms. Busch?", she asked.

Paula looked up, "Umm, yes?"

"Anything you'd like to share with the rest of class?"

Paula looked to Lisa, who wore an expression of terror, and turned back to the teacher, "Um, no, Mrs. Stalhorn..."

The teacher smiled, "Okay. Girls, I know this isn't the most exciting stuff in the world, but it will be over soon. So, please keep your notes until after class..." She darted a wink at Paula and Lisa, "Okay?"

The class murmered acceptance, and Mrs. Stalhorn went back to the lesson. Paula rather liked Mrs. Stalhorn, as did the other girls. She was beautiful, and had a gorgeous husband (the girls usually took their time leaving on days when he picked her up at work). And at the young age of twenty-five she already had two children. Paula very much wished that she would some day be so lucky... though she could do without the job part.

"Can anyone tell me why the Feminist Schism happened?" she asked the class. Paula, figuring she should try to make up for her earlier disturbance, put up her hand. Mrs. Stalhorn pointed to her, "Paula..."

She started, somewhat self-conscious (she didn't really like talking in front of large groups), "Well... women realized that the so-called feminist movement was being run by... well... lesbians..."

A chorus of giggles spread throughout the class. Mrs. Stalhorn hushed them, "Correct, Paula... why was this a problem?"

"Um, well, they didn't want to have babies... so they caused a population problem..." She smiled as she saw Mrs. Stalhorn nodding, "And that's when real women embraced the idea of Biological Division..."

Mrs. Stalhorn smiled, "Correct. Very good, Paula. Women, real women, realized that Biological Division was the only true way to live. Tell me, what would you think of a turtle that tried to fly?"

The class erupted into laughter, but Mrs. Stalhorn hushed them, "I know, it's ridiculous! But you see what I mean... why should we, as women, cause undue stress upon ourselves and our society by forcing ourselves into roles that we are unequipped for? We are best to leave those tasks than men are better at to men..."

The class buzzer rang loudly. "That's all for today," Mrs. Stalhorn said, as the girls gathered their things and began to file out of the room, "For Monday read paragraph four on your Feminist Issues disk #2..." The class groaned at the thought of homework, especially on a weekend, but nodded agreement as they went out the door.

Paula and Lisa walked together to the Turboway Station, making small talk about boys, fashion, and other 'girl' things. They were both very aware of the stares the received from passing men, and loved it. The two walked with an air of innocent sexiness about them, ocassionally stopping to bend over and look at a dress in a shop window, intentionally allowing the short kilts of their school uniforms to ride up and give a peek of their panties. They eventually reached the Turboway Station and stood waiting for the train.

Lisa was making eyes at an older gentleman when Paula asked her about her plans for the evening... Lisa smiled at the man and turned to respond. "I'm going out with Bobby again... why don't you and Terry come along?"

Paula smiled. Terry was a boy she'd been dating on and off lately. "I'm not sure... I think we were going to the park..."

Lisa grinned coyly, and Paula blushed, "Paula... I hope you're not planning on doing anything I wouldn't do!"

Paula laughed, "Lisa... there is nothing you wouldn't do!"

The two girls giggled and Lisa started making eyes at another man. Paula looked around absently, catching her reflection in a mirrored pole across the tracks. She took inventory of herself - long raven tresses, full breasts for a girl of eighteen, deep green eyes, a pouting mouth. Her makeup was perfect as usual. She was one of the most beautiful girls at School System Centre #43, and she knew it. But as she looked at the mirror something seemed wrong... she could not place what, but something was definitely wrong about the reflection...

She felt dazed, and for some reason turned to look up the Turboway shaft. It was dark, menacing, and for some reason it filled her with dread... she felt dizzy as a bright light overtook her vision.

Suddenly she felt jerked back, and realized that Lisa had grabbed her. "Hello?" Lisa blurted, "What's with you? You almost walked into the path of a speeding Turbo..." Paula looked back to the track and the Turboway car was stopped in front of her. People were getting on and off...

"Are you coming?", Lisa asked her.

Paula still felt slightly dazed, but muttered "Yes". They got on the train and began the ride home. The feeling of confusion stayed with Paula for awhile, but eventually drifted away as the two girls began to talk about boys, fashion, and their plans for the evening...

Paula arrived home at the usual time, the incident at the Turboway Station long forgotten. Her Mother greeted her with a wide smile, and asked how the day had gone. They chatted a bit about the Feminist Schism, and Paula's Mom even made an off-colour joke about lesbians! The two giggled, and promised each other not to say anything about the joke to Dad.

When they were finished talking Paula ran up to her room to change before helping with supper. Her room was decorated in soft pastels - mostly in pink, her favorite colour. She took off her school uniform, and, wearing only her panties and bra, admired herself in the mirror. She smiled and posed a few very feminine poses, giggling to herself as she thought about Terry. Turning to her closet, she grabbed a grey pair of tights and a green sweatshirt with "S.S.C. #43" written across the front in white. Finished dressing, she skipped downstairs to help her Mother with dinner.

Because it was Friday, her Mother allowed her the special task of preparing one of the side dishes unsupervised. Paula did very well in her Domestics class, and was always happy to show her skill in the kitchen. She made her special au-gratin whipped potatoes, smiling as she thought of how much her Father liked them.

Dad got home about half an hour later, greeted with a hug from his 'little princess'. Paula loved it when he called her that! The family sat down to dinner, and her Father smiled when he saw the whipped potatoes.

"You sure are good in the kitchen, Princess, you'll make a good wife someday," he said as he swallowed a mouthful of her specialty.

Paula blushed, "Daddy! I hope so..."

Her Mother smiled, "So... out again with Terry tonight?" Paula smiled.

"I'd hate to give up my Princess, but he seems like a nice fellow," her Father added with a grin.

Paula rolled her eyes, "C'mon! I'm only 18... I don't have to think about marrige for another two years!"

They all laughed, and continued with dinner. They talked about a number of things - Dad's work (though Paula and her Mom didn't really understand much of it), school, their relatives - and when they were finished Paula helped her Mother clear the table and do the dishes. Dad relaxed in the den with a snifter of brandy and a cigar. When the cleaning was done Paula was given permission to go to her room to get ready for her date with Terry.

Paula stood before her closet, dedicing upon what to wear for Terry. She finally selected a short denim miniskirt, and a white t-shirt. No nylons, she thought, why risk ruining them? She giggled to herself at the thought, and went over to her lingerie drawer. She selected the frilliest, sauciest panty and bra set she had, knowing Terry liked it when she wore them. She stood in front of her mirror, admiring herself, and enjoying the luxurious feeling of getting dressed. She felt very happy, and very lucky. Sitting in front of her makeup mirror she expertly applied her lipstick, mascara, eyeshadow... not too much, but enough to drive Terry wild!

When he finally arrived they made some small talk with her parents, then waved their goodbyes. Terry promised to have her home for 2330...

They parked in a secluded section of "The Park". "The Park" was just a city park, City Park # 14 to be exact, but to young lovers it had a proper name. As the engine in Terry's vehicle stopped the two wordlessly moved to the back seat.

Paula was sure to not be too agressive, having learned in her Intimacy course that men prefer to control sex. Soon, though, they were engaged in passionate kissing. Terry reached his hand under her t-shirt and began to massage her breasts. Paula rubbed at his groin, enjoying the growing size she felt there.

Terry helped her out of her t-shirt and skirt, and after a bit more groping he undid her bra and slipped off her panties. Terry quickly pulled off his own clothes, and guided Paula into the position he liked best. 'Doggie Style' the called it in Intimacy class, and Paula knew many men preferred it. She crouched on her hands and knees, and soon felt Terry grip her from behind and insert himself into her.

As he began to pump in and out of her vagina she thought about how he would be as a husband. His family was fairly well off, and he did well in the boy's classes at school. And then, from nowhere, she began to wonder what sex felt like for a man... she tried to push the thought away, but it lingered. She began to visualize herself as the man, having sex with a woman. I'm no lesbian she thought, and pushed the idea away, only to have it replaced with the memory of the Turbostation. She kept imagining seeing herself in the mirror, only instead of seeing a beautiful girl there there was a boy dressed in dirty clothes. The thought became hazy, and she began to think about the dark Turboway shaft when Terry's moaning snapped her out of it.

She felt him release inside of her. Though she didn't achieve orgasm Terry's moans made it clear that he was pleased, and that made her happy. The rested awhile, and began again. Though they had intercouse many times that night she did not climax... her mind was too preoccupied by the confising thoughts that kept entering it...

The next morning Paula was awakened by a telecall from Lisa. Unsure of her appearance she left the video mode off. "Video off," Lisa said, "Must have been a good night! So, did you?"

Paula blushed, "Yes..."

"Did he make you?" Lisa's question remained unfinished as she began to giggle.

Paula thought... she wasn't about to tell her best friend that she didn't have an orgasm because she was preoccupied with thoughts of being a man... "Umm... yes... three times..."

"Three times! God girl, I can see why you left your video off!" Lisa laughed, "Anyway... what are you doing tonight?"

"Nothing... Terry has some family thing..."

"Excellent! I need your help..."

Paula knew what she meant when she 'needed help'. She had met some guy, who had a friend... "Lisa, what about Bobby?"

"Oh he's nice... but, listen, I know these two football players from across town..."

"Lisa, I don't know..."

"Pleeeease! I'll owe you one..."

Yeah, to go along with the dozens other you owe me, Paula thought. She sighed, "Okay..."

They chatted a bit more before eventually disconnecting. Paula layed in bed awhile longer before getting up and doing her chores. The work helped her get her mind of the previous night, and soon she found herself happily whiling away the afternoon being domestic...

Paula met Lisa at a popular restaurant near school. She wore the tan riding pants and tight green turtleneck sweater outfit she adored so much. Her brown boots completed the look, making her a very appealing sight, and she knew it. She and Lisa exchanged compliments on their outfits, and Paula found out that the boys would be meeting them soon.

About twenty minutes later a red sportsvehicle pulled into the lot and two tall muscular boys got out. Lisa ran over to one of them, and then brought both of the boys over to meet Paula.

"Paula, this is Jim Billings," she said as she motioned to the boy whom she now hand her arm around, "and this is Tom Renalds..."

Paula smiled as the boy who was to be her date held out his hand. He took her small hand in his and shook, "Hello, Paula..."

Paula smiled, and then looked at his face, confused... "Do I know you?"

Tom smiled, "Umm, I don't think so... I'd remember a pretty face like yours..."

Paula was unfazed by the compliment, and continued to stare at him. Lisa broke the akward silence, "Must be one of those deja vu things..."

Paula strained a smile, "Yeah..." There was something about him she didn't like...

The two couples hung out at the restaurant a while longer, making small talk about school, the war, and football. Jim and Tom talked about their recent win over S.S. Centre #26... the girls oohed and ahhed at the appropriate times, though honestly neither cared. Eventually Jim suggested going for a drive, and soon they were whisking along in his red sporter.

They pulled into 'The Park' and Lisa suggested that her and Jim should take a walk. They said they'd be back in an hour, leaving Paula alone with Tom...

Tom made some more small talk before resting his hand on Paula's thigh. She smiled nervously and looked at him. "Tom... I'd really rather not..."

"C'mon baby..." he replied smoothly.

"Tom, I..."

Tom shook his head. "Well, if your going to be difficult..."

Paula had almost thought the situation was over when he pulled his erection out of his jeans and grabbed her head, forcing it to his groin...

He chuckled as he forced her mouth onto him, and began to roughly move her head along his shaft. "C'mon, baby, I know you like it... you like sucking cocks, I can tell. Suck it baby... suck it my little pussy..."

Paula was about to try and subdue him by doing as he wished when something unhitched inside her... a sharp pain shot through her head and she became nauseaus. She opened her eyes, but she could only see flashing lights, like a strobe. Then suddenly, like a burst dam her mind flooded with memories...

The came quickly, darting through her mind like a video fast forwarding... A doctor. A turboway shaft. Her father. A draft notice. Special section F. Tom, trying to force her (him?) down in the shaft. The woman. The explosion. Finally, only one thought remained, repeating like a stuck audiodisk... I'm Paul... I'm Paul... I'm Paul...

Unable to think, only act, Paul bit down hard. His mouth was filled with the coppery taste of blood...

Tom let go with a scream, "JESUS CHRIST! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!"

Paul quickly opened the door and leapt out, frantically looking around. Lisa and Jim, who heard the scream, ran over... "What's going on?", Lisa yelled as she ran to the vehicle.

Tom was still in much pain, but yelled out, "That bitch tried to bite my prick off..."

Paul looked around. Couples from other vehicles were looking on as the commotion intensified. Lisa ran up to him and grabbed his arm. "Paula, what the hell is the matter with you?"

Paul shook loose of her grasp and looked at her. "Let go of me," he screamed, "I don't know you!" He looked around, people were now getting out of their vehicles to see what was going on. He looked back at Lisa for a second, and ran into the night...

Paul ran aimlessly, his head pounding. He felt akward as he ran, his body proportions so entirely alien. Memories kept flooding in... often so quickly it became hard to think. When he finally stopped running her was on a busy city street. Exhausted, he sat down on a public bench, and dropped his head into his hands...

What the hell was happening?, he thought. He almost hoped that he had gone insane, but he knew otherwise. The sensations, the emotions, the memories - they were all too real. Whether or not he wanted to believe it he was faced with only one solution - he was now a girl.

As he sat his mind whirled. His memories of his male life were overwhelming, yet still the memories of being Paula remained. They weren't as prominent, yet they still lingered. He felt part of himself pulling back to those memories... he felt like he was fighting a war inside his head. The memories of Paula eventually receeded, though they did not disappear completely.

He could not think of what to do, where to go... it was all to hard. He was tired, very tired...

A voice snapped Paul back to reality. He looked up. A street person was standing in front of him... all rags and unpleasant smells. Paul squinted, "What?"

"I said are you going to use that bench girlie cause I need to sleep somewhere and I want to there..." The man's teeth were yellow, and decaying.

Paul stood up without answering and began to walk down the street. The street person mumbled a thank you, but Paul walked on. Regardless of what state his mind might be in, he thought, his body was still very much that of a girl... a beautiful girl. And city streets were no place for a beautiful girl to be at night.

He finally decided to go home... Paula's home. He needed time to think, and was desperately tired. He found a Turboway Station, and after deciphering where he was, Paul found a route home...

When he unlatched the front door his 'parents' were waiting for him. His Mother quickly ran to him, "Paula, where have you been? We were so worried... Lisa called..."

"Princess, no one better have tried to hurt you..." his Father added. Paul wanted very much to hit the man, but held back.

He looked at the two people before him... to part of him they were complete strangers, yet to another part they were his parents. He shook his head...

"I'm okay..." he said, "listen, I'm just really tired..."

His Mother smiled, "You go get some sleep, then, and we'll talk tommorow..."

He began up the stairs and the two people who were his parents watched him, and then looked at each other.

He reached his room, and quickly got out of his clothes. He pulled off the frilly panty set and sat on his bed, staring at his reflection in the mirror. He shook his head as he gazed at the beautiful girl there... the long dark hair, the green eyes, the perfect body. How can this be me?, he thought.

He found a t-shirt and some cotton panties, and put them on. Crawling under the sheets he curled into a tight ball. He thought some more, but eventually pushed the thoughts away. He was too tired. With nothing left to think about he began to sob... tears began to pour down his cheeks. He fell asleep crying, yet somehow it made him feel better...

Paul awoke to find his 'Mother' sitting at the end of his bed... and for a second she was his Mother, and he was Paula. He shook his head, trying to collect his thoughts as the woman began to speak.

"Paula dear... I'm sure you've had a terrible night. Do you want to talk?" she intoned softly.

He stared at her for a second before answering, "No."

She smiled and shifted closer, putting her hand on his shoulder. "Paula, growing from being a young lady to a woman is sometimes difficult..."

Paul cut her off, shrugging off her hand. "Listen lady... I don't know who you are, but get this straight. I am not Paula, and I am not your FUCKING daughter..." His eyes were red with rage and frustration.

She smiled nervously and began to speak again. "Paula, I..."

"Shut up and get out..."

"Listen to yourself..."

He screamed "GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE! NOW!"

His 'Father' appeared in the doorway to his bedroom. Paul looked at him, seething. "What the fuck do you want?"

The man didn't reply, but only looked to the woman. She nodded slightly, shrugged, and then got up from the bed and walked out of the room. The man gestured to someone down the hall...

Five men in white overcoats quickly ran into the room. Four of them pinned Paul down, and the fifth reached into a small bag he was carrying and produced a needle. Paul spat at him...

"What are you doing? Let me go... I said LET ME GO!"

The man ignored him and slowly inserted the needle in Paul's forearm. He became instantly dizzy, and felt consciousness slipping away. As his mind became black he shouted at them... "YOU BASTARDS! YOU BASTARDS!..."

Paul awoke in a hospital room. Though it was dark he recognized it instantly... somewhere in the Department of Overseas Activities building he figured, where 'Special Division F' does their little science projects.

A man walked in and turned on the lights, closing the door behind him. Paul tried to lunge at him, but was restrained. He knew the man... Doctor Phillips.

The Doctor chuckled, pulled a chair next to the bed, and sat down smiling. "Well well, fiery little one we have here..." he laughed.

"Fuck you..." was all Paul could think of to say.

Phillips shook his head, grinning, "Now that's no way for a young lady to talk." He paused and rubbed his eyes. "Paul Matthews... what an interesting case you have proven to be..." Paul simply stared at him.

"You are the first case of complete memory recovery we've experienced. Sure, we've had small incidents... usually controllable by medication, sometimes a low level brain scan to reinforce the personality... but never a complete recovery where the original personality has resumed control. You are quite the talk around the division..."

"It's nice to be popular," Paul said coldly.

"Don't really know what to do with you... the Army brass up high wanted you terminated, the security risks and all, but I talked them out of it. I've convinced them to conduct tests, and impose a second brain scan. This time, however, we'll keep you under closer survaillance..." He reached out and gently brushed Paul's cheek, "How do you feel about being the young wife of a prominent doctor?"

Paul turned his head away, and the Doctor laughed. Phillips looked over Paul's enticing female form, "I'm going to love fucking your little pussy there." He leaned closer, and whispered into Paul's ear, "I'm going to love it even more when you beg me to fuck you again and again..."

Paul turned and spat in Phillips face. The doctor sat back in his chair, and took a handkerchief out from his pocket to wipe his face. He laughed as he was doing it, "So you spit, eh? Don't worry when I'm done you'll love to swallow..."

The hospital room door swung open, and a young nurse with blonde curly hair walked in. Phillips turned to look at her, "Nurse, I gave specific instructions not to be disturbed. You'd better have a good..."

She didn't respond, but walked swiftly over to him, pulling a thin wire from her uniform. Unflinchingly she inserted it into the Doctor's temple and his body slumped off the chair. Paul looked down at the doctor and saw blood pooling on the floor. He turned to look at the Nurse, confused...

"You killed him..." and was suddenly overcome with recognition... It was the girl from the Turboway station. He stared at her and said, "It's you..."

She ignored him, and opened the door. Three men in hospital whites came in. She addressed them quietly, "Quickly..."

One of the men took out a needle and inserted it into Paul's arm. The other two pulled in a stretcher and began to undo his restraints. Paul began to black out, again... he looked to the girl and asked, "What are you doing?"

As he finally faded into unconsciousness he watched her. She did not even seem to notice his question. His final feeling before the darkness was his body being lifted onto the stretcher and being wheeled away...

TO BE CONTINUED...

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From agate!howland.reston.ans.net!newsfeed.internetmci.com!chi-news.cic.net!news.uiowa.edu!uunet!in1.uu.net!news.tele.fi!news.funet.fi!news.eunet.fi!anon.penet.fi Fri Oct 13 15:29:55 1995 Message-ID: 203331Z12101995@anon.penet.fi Path: agate!howland.reston.ans.net!newsfeed.internetmci.com!chi-news.cic.net!news.uiowa.edu!uunet!in1.uu.net!news.tele.fi!news.funet.fi!news.eunet.fi!anon.penet.fi Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories,alt.sex.stories.tg From: an173204@anon.penet.fi X-Anonymously-To: alt.sex.stories,alt.sex.stories.tg Organization: Anonymous forwarding service Reply-To: an173204@anon.penet.fi Date: Thu, 12 Oct 1995 20:30:35 UTC Subject: TG REPOST: "The Draft" by Michelle Lurker (4/5) Lines: 524 Xref: agate alt.sex.stories:105481 alt.sex.stories.tg:1005

The Draft

by Michelle Lurker (c) 1995

CHAPTER FOUR

Paul finished dressing and sat in a chair next to the examining table. The previous two weeks had been a constant barrage of tests, blood samples, brain scans... he barely had a moment to himself. Still the encounter with Alicia weighed heavily on his mind, but he was unable to draw any conclusions as to how he felt about it. Alicia had been obviously avoiding him... just as well, Paul figured, for he didn't know what to say to her anyway. She was very beautiful, and in his male body he was sure he would take her in an instant. But in the shower something had made him recoil... while he could still see her as a desirable woman, it was almost like it was from an objective point-of-view. The more he thought about it the more removed his feelings became. He desperately wanted to feel a sexual urge for her, as if to confirm to himself that yes, after everything, he was still a man. Yet it did not come...

He shook his head, snapping back to the present. Damon was sitting in the chair across from him, looking over the latest test results. Paul smiled as he began to speak, "So, Dr. D, any new discoveries?"

Damon looked up from the printout, his face changing from the intensely serious demeanor he had while working to the friendly smiling one he carried in social situations... "Well, I think I'm on to something. Hopefully I'll soon be able to isolate the gene I think is responsible for your dual intolerance... then maybe we can discover the effects it has on the body, and synthetically reproduce the effects through medication..."

Paul nodded. He was amazed how intently Damon worked at a discovering a solution. The two had worked together for two weeks now, in which time Paul had developed a strong respect for the man. He had also learned about his life... a story which astonished Paul at the friendliness and ease with which Damon carried himself.

Damon had grown up in a middle-class family, and though he was Mastain-Insensitive, like Paul, he was still very much a "man's man". Damon had once mentioned that he thought that was why he was never selected for 'the draft'. He was Captain of the high school football team, and very well liked at school. He went on to Medical School, and graduated at the top of his class. With his tremendous skill he was selected for the Medical Research Unit of the Department of Overseas Affairs.

His life was like a dream, he had said. He was married to his highschool sweetheart, had a beautiful baby boy, and was a successful Doctor, respected in his profession. As his prominince grew within the DOA he began to be privy to more and more 'classified' information. Still, not being a career military man, and being known by his superiors as MI, he was kept from the real 'truth' about his society. Curious about the medication that was administered to the population he began to ask questions - questions that were not answered to his satisfaction. He became marked as a danger, and his advancement slowed, and eventually stopped. As he became more suspicous he decided to find the answers for himself.

He stayed late at work that night, and once everyone was gone he worked his way through the Department computer. His superiors had been very sloppy about leaving their access codes open, and over time he had quietly amassed a small arsenal of passwords. As he delved further into the security levels he found out more than he'd ever suspected. Everything about the use of population controlling drugs was there, and more. He found out about 'Special Division F', and their secret biological engineering experiments... and failures. His eyes welled up with tears as he saw images of some of the early 'unsuccessful' experiments. Some of the poor men SDF had worked on looked barely human... mercifully most died within a few days of the experiments. Damon was paralyzed with shock as he read detailed accounts of each horror...

He suddenly became aware that one document was taking an unusually long time to load... the Department's computer was far too fast for such lag, especially at night when it's workload must be low. Still the 'PLEASE WAIT' message flashed on the screen. He became nervous...

Quickly he ran. He watched from the stairwell as several soldiers stepped out of the elevator and began looking around. Not waisting a second he began to descend the stairs, quietly but hastily. He exited the building through a delivery bay in back, and ran to his car.

During the entire trip home the knowledge that he had acquired ran through his mind. He could not believe that his society was run by men so ruthless and evil - yet there it was, flashing on the computer screen in his memory. When he finally pulled up to his home he was so preoccupied he didn't notice that the lights were not on...

He opened the front door, and noticing the darkness he called out to his wife. There was no reply. He called again. Still no reply. He quickly ran from room to room searching for her...

They were in the master bedroom, her and his child. She was holding the baby as if to protect if from the bullets that riddled both their bodies. The DOA soldiers had already paid a visit. He fell to his knees, crying. He didn't know how long he kneeled there, but soon found himself running throught the dark. That was the last time he saw his wife and child.

He spent the next few days living on the street, incoherent, ripped apart by grief. He would have been caught, eventually, but a man from the Underground discovered him... he had been there ever since.

Paul often thought of the horrors that Damon had experienced, and his own troubles seemed very insignificant. He was amazed that Damon could still be as warm and friendly as he was...

Damon looked up from the printout once again, smiling. "Well, that about does it for today..."

Paul smiled and stood to go. "Good, Eva asked me to talk to her when I was done..."

Damon smiled and nodded. As Paul was about to leave the examining room he spoke, "Oh, I was wondering if you wanted to get some dinner later... I hate eating alone, and most everyone here is so, well, intense all the time..."

Paul cut him off, "Sure... 1800 okay?"

Damon grinned, "Sure..."

Paul nodded to the armed guard and was let into the meeting room. Eva was talking to Reginald, and when she noticed Paul she looked up and smiled, "Hello, Paul, I'll just be one minute... have a seat."

Paul sat at the table as Eva finished her discussion with Reginald. He nodded and pointed to various sections of the papers he and Eva were discussing, finally standing to go. He smiled his cautious smile to Paul and was gone.

Eva gathered the papers and turned her attention to Paul. She smiled, "So Paul, how are you feeling today?"

"Pretty good," he replied, "Damon thinks he may be making some progress..."

Eva nodded, "Good. Paul, you are probably wondering why I asked you here today..."

Paul smiled and shrugged, "Yeah, a bit..."

Eva smiled. She had an extrordinary ability to make everyone around her feel at ease, and Paul was no exception. "I was wondering if you've given any thought to what you are going to do after the tests are done?"

Paul nodded, the thought had hung in the back of his mind for quite some while, "I'm not too sure..."

"Paul, you are a very intelligent, capable individual... the type of person we need. If you choose, you could stay here, as a member of the Underground. Your chances for survival in society are very slim, and I'm afraid the DOA and SDF won't bother trying to 're-condition' you if they catch you..."

Paul nodded again. He realized that he was probably an outlaw now, and that he would surely be terminated if caught.

Eva continued, "You would be provided for here, and we could definitely use your abilities..."

Paul looked to her, a knowing look in his eyes, "One small thing though..."

Eva knew what he was getting at, "No... we can't give you any hope of regaining your male body. Your chances do not fare much better in society, though. Paul, have you thought about the idea of living the rest of your life in that body..."

Paul shrugged. The idea had been floating around in his thoughts for some time now... at first he was determined to find a way back to his male body, but as time passed he began to feel more... comfortable... in his new form. "I don't know... Eva, I'm a man inside, aren't I?"

"Paul, I believe that you are Paul inside... and whether or not you are in a male body nothing changes that."

Paul nodded, "I know... I think. But I'm just not cut out to be a girl... Paula was nothing like me. I'm supposed to be strong, not some submissive airhead..."

"But you are strong, Paul. Don't you see? To go through what you've experienced you have to be. And yes, Paula was nothing like you... nothing like any woman, really. She was the ideal of femininity, as our society's rulers would have it. But if you remember, Paul, I don't think you were our society's ideal of masculinity, either..."

Paul couldn't help but agree... he was nothing like all the Tom Renalds or Mr. Billings he had know throughout his life. He wasn't even like his own father...

"Paul," Eva continued, "that is because these ideals are not real. They are two polar opposities... and quite simply, people are not that way. Look at me, for example... I am a strong leader of a outlawed rebel group... but do I seem like less of a woman?"

Paul shook his head. Eva carried herself with such a feminine grace and poise, yet she was very strong in character. "I know... but it's just so hard sometimes..."

Eva smiled, and took Paul's hand, "I know... you are battling years of socialization. Even though you are MI, you are not immune from the constant messages society has sent you over the years..."

Paul smiled, "Yeah, I guess not..."

Eva smiled again, "We will be here for you, to help you along. Whenever you want to talk, just knock on my door."

Paul nodded, and smiled brightly. He was about to get up and leave when he spoke again, "Oh, Eva, one more thing... if it's not too personal..."

She smiled, "What is it?"

"About Alicia," Paul began, not knowing really where he was going, "why is she so... distant?"

Eva nodded gravely, "Alicia has been through a very difficult life, Paul. She is, as you may have figured, a lesbian. When the Subtain could not control these 'immoral impulses' as the government called them, she was put through much agony in the name of 'medical rehabilitation'. We rescued her as a young woman, and she has essentially grown up here..."

Paul nodded. No wonder the poor girl had such a wall built between her and others. Eva continued, "Her first lover was also an agent of ours, an 'on the surface' agent as we call them. She was a government official's mistress, and gave us much valuable information. Eventually, though, the official found her out. She was tortured and killed, but did not tell them anything about us. When Alicia found out she was destroyed..."

Paul nodded again, unsure of what to say. He smiled, said his goodbyes, and went back to his room.

Damon was sitting at a table in the mess hall, with two dinners in front of him. He smiled when he saw Paul enter the room.

Paul smiled back and sat down across from Damon as he pushed one of the trays over. Paul grinned and said "Why, thank you. What service..."

"I figured I'd save you the trouble of waiting in line... sorry that the food's not so good," Damon replied. Paul was fast becoming used to the quality of food in the Underground's mess. Damon chuckled, "I guess there isn't a lot of time for gourmet meals when you're trying to change the world..."

Paul laughed... Damon was so at ease with himself it was incredible. They ate and talked, chatting about many things - Damon's love of reading, the movement, people they knew, their families. Paul found it very easy to talk to Damon, he was definitely the closest friend he'd had... ever.

After finishing their dinners the two still sat talking, oblivious to the bustle of the mess hall around them. After talking about almost everything, it seemed, Paul nervously brought up the subject of Damon's family, "Damon... do you ever think about your wife?"

Damon smiled, though his smile had a distinct air of sadness about it. He nodded, "Every minute of every day..."

Paul smiled warmly, and almost unknowingly took Damon's hand. He squeezed it lightly, and Damon smiled. "It must be horrible... how do you remain so warm and giving? I know I'd probably be consumed by hatred if I were you..."

Damon shrugged, "I guess it's because that's the way I've always been... It's what attracted my wife to me. I guess I feel like it's what she'd want - they've already taken my wife and baby, I won't let them take me. And I will find a way to destroy them..."

The last few words had an unusual bitterness about them, for Damon. Paul nodded, understanding. They sat quietly for a minute... when suddenly Paul saw something out of the corner of his eye. It was Alicia, and she'd been looking at them from across the hall. Paul turned to look, but she darted her eyes away. He turned back to Damon and shrugged.

"What's the matter..." he asked.

Paul slowly replied, "It's Alicia... I think I've offended her. You see, we were in the showers, and..." Paul shrugged.

Damon nodded, "I see... did she not respond?"

Paul shook his head, "Quite the opposite... I was the one who didn't feel anything... I don't know..."

Damon looked puzzled, and then a sense of understanding came over his face, "So... you don't find women attractive anymore?"

Paul shrugged again, "No... yes... I don't know. It can get very confusing sometimes..."

Damon nodded. They talked some bit more, avoiding the topics of Damon's wife and Paul's sexuality questions for the most part. Damon finally looked at his watch and mentioned that he should get to sleep. Paul agreed, and Damon walked him back to his quarters...

When they reached Paul's door they stood silently for a minute, and said their goodbyes. Damon shrugged and held out his hand. Paul took it, and they shook. Damon was about to go when Paul said "Wait..."

Then, not quite knowing why, Paul brought his lips to Damon's. They both looked into each other's eyes, and smiled as their lips met in a sweet, gentle kiss. They kissed for a moment longer and Damon pulled back, smiling shyly, "I really should get some sleep, and you should too... lotsa work to be done tommorow. Sleep tight, kid-o..."

Paul smiled, and watched Damon walk away. As he closed the door behind him he sighed. Why did I do that?, he thought. Was it to test myself? Or could there be another reason? He wasn't sure. He got undressed, very conscious of his body. Clad only in panties and a bra, he looked at himself in the small mirror on his desk. He undid his ponytail and let his hair spill down, and smiled. For a brief second he felt something he hadn't felt in a very long time - peace. He shrugged, and got into bed. This is wierd, he thought, and drifted off to sleep.

The next day, though neither Paul or Damon mentioned the kiss, there was no real sense of tension between the two. Paul was glad, because whatever storm might be raging inside his head he didn't want to alienate Damon as a friend. They talked as they normally talked, and smiled as they normally smiled. When the tests were over there was not awkward silence... Paul mentioned something about grabbing something to eat later, and Damon agreed. As Paul walked through the corridors to his room he was smiling.

When he opened his door he was frozen with shock for a second. Sitting on the chair, facing him, was Alicia. She smiled nervously, and said "Hi... do you have a minute to talk?"

Paul nodded, unsure of what she wanted to say, and sat on the bed across from her. She smiled again, akwardly, and with her eyes darting away from Paul's she began to speak...

"Umm... I wanted to talk to you about the other day in the showers..."

Paul stopped her, "Alicia... it's okay, trust me. I'm just going through a very confusing period in my life. You're a very beautiful woman..."

Alicia smiled, this time with a small bit of warmth, and her eyes even made contact with Paul's for a brief second. "Thanks... You see, I just thought that because you were a guy before you would like women." She shrugged, "Do you?"

If only I knew, Paul thought. He smiled and spoke, "That's the thing... I'm not really sure. I'm very confused, at times is seems like there are two people trying to wrestle for control of my sex drive..."

Alicia nodded, "I figured that. When I saw you with Damon I realized how comfortable you looked..."

Paul raised an eyebrow, "What do you mean?"

"You know... just the body language a woman has when she's with a man she's attracted to..."

Paul shook his head. He hadn't realized that he'd acted any differently with Damon. Okay, he thought, I've kissed him, but I never thought of it that way. He knew it was ridiculous for a woman to kiss a man and not think of things in that manner, at least slightly, but up until now he had been avoiding the issue in his thoughts. He looked at Alicia, "Is it that obvious?"

She smiled and shrugged, "A little... I've learned to observe these things, being as... I am. I guess it's a bit tough for you to admit it..."

Admit it?, Paul thought. Despite his best efforts to come up with another explanation, he knew Alicia was right. He shrugged, "I guess... who knows? Maybe I was a fucking queer all my life and didn't know it..." He realized his poor choice of words. "I mean... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that. I'm not posing judgement on you... I'm just really confused."

Alicia smiled, "It's okay, I understand what you mean. Paul, I am a lesbian, and I've always known that. I think if you were gay, as a male I mean, you'd have known it before now..."

Paul thought. He'd never had a homosexual thought in his life as a guy. "You're probably right. I never felt... attracted... to a man before." The words sounded like they were from another language. "So what does it mean?"

Alicia shrugged, "I don't know. Maybe you were straight as a man and you're now straight as a woman. It's just something you'll have to figure out. I just wanted to smooth things out between us, if possible..."

Paul smiled, "I'd like that. Listen, I honestly don't know where my feelings are right now, but I could use a friend..."

"I'd like that too... I don't know if you've noticed, but I have a tough time being open with people sometimes."

The two smiled, and then laughed. Paul got up off the bed and Alicia stood to leave. Almost automatically they hugged, a hug of friendship, with no sexual overtones. Alicia smiled and turned to go.

As she walked out the door Paul watched her. What a great ass, he thought, life would be a lot easier if only it turned me on.

Over the next few days Paul went about his business, doing the tests with Damon, having dinner with him occasionally. He kept thinking about his relationship with Damon, trying to figure out if it was indeed sexual attractaion. Occasionally Damon would catch Paul staring at him, and befuddled would ask what was the matter. Paul would only smile and say "Nothing."

In all his thinking one thing became clear... whenever he was with Damon he was comfortable. Unlike most other times, when he was quite conscious of having a female body, when he was with Damon he was just himself. Or herself. Paul didn't even want to think about pronouns yet.

As he entered his room one day after testing was complete he was puzzled to find a cardboard box on his bed. There was a note attached...

"A few things for you... Your Friend, Alicia"

Curious, he quickly opened the box. Inside was a collection of very feminine clothes and some makeup and perfume. Paul was confused. What does she think I need this for?, he thought. He sat the box on the floor and laid down on the bed with a book.

He tried to read, but his attention kept floating back to the box. Finally he sat up, and said "What the hell..." out loud. He locked his door and opened the box again.

The items were both mysterious and familiar. He had worn things like this as Paula, but not since his memory had returned. He pulled out a beautiful silk chemise and held it up to his cheek. It was very soft, and enticing. He stepped out of his grey uniform-like clothes and slowly lowered the chemise over his head. As he looked at himself in the mirror he smiled. The soft silk draped casually over his soft rounded body, accenting his breasts and hips. It had a mid-thigh hem, and his supple legs looked very sexy. He turned back to the box.

Paul pulled a small kit from the box, and sat at the desk. Calling on memories from his life as Paula he expertly applied makeup, softly accentuating his features. When he was finished he looked in the mirror, satisfied. He felt like he'd scratched an itch that he'd been trying to wish away. Staring back at him from the mirror was a beautiful girl, with a fantastic body. He smiled as calm settled through him.

He continued to sort through the box's contents, trying on each item, and loving every minute. The time rushed past, and he soon found himself ready for bed. He reached for the pair of plain panties and bra he normally wore to sleep but paused. He thought for a second, and instead put the chemise back on. As he slipped under the covers he was very aware of the soft silk against his skin, and he enjoyed it. Is this what I want?, he thought.

When he woke up the next day he knew.

Paul hopped off the examining table and sat in the chair across from Damon as he usually did when testing was done. They talked about the normal things - the test results, isolating the insensitive gene - when Paul nervously changed topic.

"Umm... are you busy tonight, for dinner?" he said with a smile.

Damon looked up, and smiled, "Nope..."

"Why don't you grab two dinners and come by my room, then?" Paul offered, "The mess hall gets a bit dreary after a while..."

Damon nodded, "That's for sure... how's 1900?"

Paul smiled, and stood to go, "Great... I'll see you then..."

As Paul left the room Damon had a slightly perplexed look on his face, as he said, "Bye..."

Paul grabbed a few things from one of the storage areas - a small table and two chairs, and some candles. After dropping the items off in his room he took a quick shower. When he got back to his room he was very nervous, and was tempted to call the whole thing off, but he forced himself to go on. He figured there was only one way to know...

He'd borrowed a few more things from Alicia, to complete the atmosphere. He looked to the bed and saw the short black dress, lingerie, and hoisery there. Well, he thought, here goes nothing...

He stepped out of his grey clothes and picked up the lingerie. It too was black, like the dress. He put on the bra, panties, and garter belt. Sitting on the bed he rolled the sheer black stockings up his legs and attached them to the garters. The cool nylon on his legs felt wonderful. Sitting in front of the mirror he took out the makeup kit and began to apply some to his face. He was actually thankful for his memories of being Paula, for the ease with which he applied his makeup. He looked at his hair for a second, and unsatisfied took some hair pins from the cardboard box. He expertly styled it upwards, with a few wisps hanging in his face. Paula, he thought to himself with a chuckle, I owe you one...

Finally he took the dress from the bed and put it on. It had a low cut back, and halter-style straps which met behind his neck. After zipping himself up he turned to look in the mirror.

He was astonished. Wow, he thought, I knew I was good looking, but this is incredible. He took inventory of himself - long luxurious

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From agate!howland.reston.ans.net!math.ohio-state.edu!uwm.edu!chi-news.cic.net!news.uiowa.edu!uunet!in2.uu.net!news.tele.fi!news.funet.fi!news.eunet.fi!anon.penet.fi Fri Oct 13 15:29:55 1995 Message-ID: 221316Z12101995@anon.penet.fi Path: agate!howland.reston.ans.net!math.ohio-state.edu!uwm.edu!chi-news.cic.net!news.uiowa.edu!uunet!in2.uu.net!news.tele.fi!news.funet.fi!news.eunet.fi!anon.penet.fi Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories,alt.sex.stories.tg From: an173204@anon.penet.fi X-Anonymously-To: alt.sex.stories,alt.sex.stories.tg Organization: Anonymous forwarding service Reply-To: an173204@anon.penet.fi Date: Thu, 12 Oct 1995 22:08:49 UTC Subject: TG REPOST: "The Draft" by Michelle Lurker (4a/5) (retry) Lines: 474 Xref: agate alt.sex.stories:105491 alt.sex.stories.tg:1006

The Draft

by Michelle Lurker (c) 1995

CHAPTER FOUR (part a)

Paul finished dressing and sat in a chair next to the examining table. The previous two weeks had been a constant barrage of tests, blood samples, brain scans... he barely had a moment to himself. Still the encounter with Alicia weighed heavily on his mind, but he was unable to draw any conclusions as to how he felt about it. Alicia had been obviously avoiding him... just as well, Paul figured, for he didn't know what to say to her anyway. She was very beautiful, and in his male body he was sure he would take her in an instant. But in the shower something had made him recoil... while he could still see her as a desirable woman, it was almost like it was from an objective point-of-view. The more he thought about it the more removed his feelings became. He desperately wanted to feel a sexual urge for her, as if to confirm to himself that yes, after everything, he was still a man. Yet it did not come...

He shook his head, snapping back to the present. Damon was sitting in the chair across from him, looking over the latest test results. Paul smiled as he began to speak, "So, Dr. D, any new discoveries?"

Damon looked up from the printout, his face changing from the intensely serious demeanor he had while working to the friendly smiling one he carried in social situations... "Well, I think I'm on to something. Hopefully I'll soon be able to isolate the gene I think is responsible for your dual intolerance... then maybe we can discover the effects it has on the body, and synthetically reproduce the effects through medication..."

Paul nodded. He was amazed how intently Damon worked at a discovering a solution. The two had worked together for two weeks now, in which time Paul had developed a strong respect for the man. He had also learned about his life... a story which astonished Paul at the friendliness and ease with which Damon carried himself.

Damon had grown up in a middle-class family, and though he was Mastain-Insensitive, like Paul, he was still very much a "man's man". Damon had once mentioned that he thought that was why he was never selected for 'the draft'. He was Captain of the high school football team, and very well liked at school. He went on to Medical School, and graduated at the top of his class. With his tremendous skill he was selected for the Medical Research Unit of the Department of Overseas Affairs.

His life was like a dream, he had said. He was married to his highschool sweetheart, had a beautiful baby boy, and was a successful Doctor, respected in his profession. As his prominince grew within the DOA he began to be privy to more and more 'classified' information. Still, not being a career military man, and being known by his superiors as MI, he was kept from the real 'truth' about his society. Curious about the medication that was administered to the population he began to ask questions - questions that were not answered to his satisfaction. He became marked as a danger, and his advancement slowed, and eventually stopped. As he became more suspicous he decided to find the answers for himself.

He stayed late at work that night, and once everyone was gone he worked his way through the Department computer. His superiors had been very sloppy about leaving their access codes open, and over time he had quietly amassed a small arsenal of passwords. As he delved further into the security levels he found out more than he'd ever suspected. Everything about the use of population controlling drugs was there, and more. He found out about 'Special Division F', and their secret biological engineering experiments... and failures. His eyes welled up with tears as he saw images of some of the early 'unsuccessful' experiments. Some of the poor men SDF had worked on looked barely human... mercifully most died within a few days of the experiments. Damon was paralyzed with shock as he read detailed accounts of each horror...

He suddenly became aware that one document was taking an unusually long time to load... the Department's computer was far too fast for such lag, especially at night when it's workload must be low. Still the 'PLEASE WAIT' message flashed on the screen. He became nervous...

Quickly he ran. He watched from the stairwell as several soldiers stepped out of the elevator and began looking around. Not waisting a second he began to descend the stairs, quietly but hastily. He exited the building through a delivery bay in back, and ran to his car.

During the entire trip home the knowledge that he had acquired ran through his mind. He could not believe that his society was run by men so ruthless and evil - yet there it was, flashing on the computer screen in his memory. When he finally pulled up to his home he was so preoccupied he didn't notice that the lights were not on...

He opened the front door, and noticing the darkness he called out to his wife. There was no reply. He called again. Still no reply. He quickly ran from room to room searching for her...

They were in the master bedroom, her and his child. She was holding the baby as if to protect if from the bullets that riddled both their bodies. The DOA soldiers had already paid a visit. He fell to his knees, crying. He didn't know how long he kneeled there, but soon found himself running throught the dark. That was the last time he saw his wife and child.

He spent the next few days living on the street, incoherent, ripped apart by grief. He would have been caught, eventually, but a man from the Underground discovered him... he had been there ever since.

Paul often thought of the horrors that Damon had experienced, and his own troubles seemed very insignificant. He was amazed that Damon could still be as warm and friendly as he was...

Damon looked up from the printout once again, smiling. "Well, that about does it for today..."

Paul smiled and stood to go. "Good, Eva asked me to talk to her when I was done..."

Damon smiled and nodded. As Paul was about to leave the examining room he spoke, "Oh, I was wondering if you wanted to get some dinner later... I hate eating alone, and most everyone here is so, well, intense all the time..."

Paul cut him off, "Sure... 1800 okay?"

Damon grinned, "Sure..."

Paul nodded to the armed guard and was let into the meeting room. Eva was talking to Reginald, and when she noticed Paul she looked up and smiled, "Hello, Paul, I'll just be one minute... have a seat."

Paul sat at the table as Eva finished her discussion with Reginald. He nodded and pointed to various sections of the papers he and Eva were discussing, finally standing to go. He smiled his cautious smile to Paul and was gone.

Eva gathered the papers and turned her attention to Paul. She smiled, "So Paul, how are you feeling today?"

"Pretty good," he replied, "Damon thinks he may be making some progress..."

Eva nodded, "Good. Paul, you are probably wondering why I asked you here today..."

Paul smiled and shrugged, "Yeah, a bit..."

Eva smiled. She had an extrordinary ability to make everyone around her feel at ease, and Paul was no exception. "I was wondering if you've given any thought to what you are going to do after the tests are done?"

Paul nodded, the thought had hung in the back of his mind for quite some while, "I'm not too sure..."

"Paul, you are a very intelligent, capable individual... the type of person we need. If you choose, you could stay here, as a member of the Underground. Your chances for survival in society are very slim, and I'm afraid the DOA and SDF won't bother trying to 're-condition' you if they catch you..."

Paul nodded again. He realized that he was probably an outlaw now, and that he would surely be terminated if caught.

Eva continued, "You would be provided for here, and we could definitely use your abilities..."

Paul looked to her, a knowing look in his eyes, "One small thing though..."

Eva knew what he was getting at, "No... we can't give you any hope of regaining your male body. Your chances do not fare much better in society, though. Paul, have you thought about the idea of living the rest of your life in that body..."

Paul shrugged. The idea had been floating around in his thoughts for some time now... at first he was determined to find a way back to his male body, but as time passed he began to feel more... comfortable... in his new form. "I don't know... Eva, I'm a man inside, aren't I?"

"Paul, I believe that you are Paul inside... and whether or not you are in a male body nothing changes that."

Paul nodded, "I know... I think. But I'm just not cut out to be a girl... Paula was nothing like me. I'm supposed to be strong, not some submissive airhead..."

"But you are strong, Paul. Don't you see? To go through what you've experienced you have to be. And yes, Paula was nothing like you... nothing like any woman, really. She was the ideal of femininity, as our society's rulers would have it. But if you remember, Paul, I don't think you were our society's ideal of masculinity, either..."

Paul couldn't help but agree... he was nothing like all the Tom Renalds or Mr. Billings he had know throughout his life. He wasn't even like his own father...

"Paul," Eva continued, "that is because these ideals are not real. They are two polar opposities... and quite simply, people are not that way. Look at me, for example... I am a strong leader of a outlawed rebel group... but do I seem like less of a woman?"

Paul shook his head. Eva carried herself with such a feminine grace and poise, yet she was very strong in character. "I know... but it's just so hard sometimes..."

Eva smiled, and took Paul's hand, "I know... you are battling years of socialization. Even though you are MI, you are not immune from the constant messages society has sent you over the years..."

Paul smiled, "Yeah, I guess not..."

Eva smiled again, "We will be here for you, to help you along. Whenever you want to talk, just knock on my door."

Paul nodded, and smiled brightly. He was about to get up and leave when he spoke again, "Oh, Eva, one more thing... if it's not too personal..."

She smiled, "What is it?"

"About Alicia," Paul began, not knowing really where he was going, "why is she so... distant?"

Eva nodded gravely, "Alicia has been through a very difficult life, Paul. She is, as you may have figured, a lesbian. When the Subtain could not control these 'immoral impulses' as the government called them, she was put through much agony in the name of 'medical rehabilitation'. We rescued her as a young woman, and she has essentially grown up here..."

Paul nodded. No wonder the poor girl had such a wall built between her and others. Eva continued, "Her first lover was also an agent of ours, an 'on the surface' agent as we call them. She was a government official's mistress, and gave us much valuable information. Eventually, though, the official found her out. She was tortured and killed, but did not tell them anything about us. When Alicia found out she was destroyed..."

Paul nodded again, unsure of what to say. He smiled, said his goodbyes, and went back to his room.

Damon was sitting at a table in the mess hall, with two dinners in front of him. He smiled when he saw Paul enter the room.

Paul smiled back and sat down across from Damon as he pushed one of the trays over. Paul grinned and said "Why, thank you. What service..."

"I figured I'd save you the trouble of waiting in line... sorry that the food's not so good," Damon replied. Paul was fast becoming used to the quality of food in the Underground's mess. Damon chuckled, "I guess there isn't a lot of time for gourmet meals when you're trying to change the world..."

Paul laughed... Damon was so at ease with himself it was incredible. They ate and talked, chatting about many things - Damon's love of reading, the movement, people they knew, their families. Paul found it very easy to talk to Damon, he was definitely the closest friend he'd had... ever.

After finishing their dinners the two still sat talking, oblivious to the bustle of the mess hall around them. After talking about almost everything, it seemed, Paul nervously brought up the subject of Damon's family, "Damon... do you ever think about your wife?"

Damon smiled, though his smile had a distinct air of sadness about it. He nodded, "Every minute of every day..."

Paul smiled warmly, and almost unknowingly took Damon's hand. He squeezed it lightly, and Damon smiled. "It must be horrible... how do you remain so warm and giving? I know I'd probably be consumed by hatred if I were you..."

Damon shrugged, "I guess it's because that's the way I've always been... It's what attracted my wife to me. I guess I feel like it's what she'd want - they've already taken my wife and baby, I won't let them take me. And I will find a way to destroy them..."

The last few words had an unusual bitterness about them, for Damon. Paul nodded, understanding. They sat quietly for a minute... when suddenly Paul saw something out of the corner of his eye. It was Alicia, and she'd been looking at them from across the hall. Paul turned to look, but she darted her eyes away. He turned back to Damon and shrugged.

"What's the matter..." he asked.

Paul slowly replied, "It's Alicia... I think I've offended her. You see, we were in the showers, and..." Paul shrugged.

Damon nodded, "I see... did she not respond?"

Paul shook his head, "Quite the opposite... I was the one who didn't feel anything... I don't know..."

Damon looked puzzled, and then a sense of understanding came over his face, "So... you don't find women attractive anymore?"

Paul shrugged again, "No... yes... I don't know. It can get very confusing sometimes..."

Damon nodded. They talked some bit more, avoiding the topics of Damon's wife and Paul's sexuality questions for the most part. Damon finally looked at his watch and mentioned that he should get to sleep. Paul agreed, and Damon walked him back to his quarters...

When they reached Paul's door they stood silently for a minute, and said their goodbyes. Damon shrugged and held out his hand. Paul took it, and they shook. Damon was about to go when Paul said "Wait..."

Then, not quite knowing why, Paul brought his lips to Damon's. They both looked into each other's eyes, and smiled as their lips met in a sweet, gentle kiss. They kissed for a moment longer and Damon pulled back, smiling shyly, "I really should get some sleep, and you should too... lotsa work to be done tommorow. Sleep tight, kid-o..."

Paul smiled, and watched Damon walk away. As he closed the door behind him he sighed. Why did I do that?, he thought. Was it to test myself? Or could there be another reason? He wasn't sure. He got undressed, very conscious of his body. Clad only in panties and a bra, he looked at himself in the small mirror on his desk. He undid his ponytail and let his hair spill down, and smiled. For a brief second he felt something he hadn't felt in a very long time - peace. He shrugged, and got into bed. This is wierd, he thought, and drifted off to sleep.

The next day, though neither Paul or Damon mentioned the kiss, there was no real sense of tension between the two. Paul was glad, because whatever storm might be raging inside his head he didn't want to alienate Damon as a friend. They talked as they normally talked, and smiled as they normally smiled. When the tests were over there was not awkward silence... Paul mentioned something about grabbing something to eat later, and Damon agreed. As Paul walked through the corridors to his room he was smiling.

When he opened his door he was frozen with shock for a second. Sitting on the chair, facing him, was Alicia. She smiled nervously, and said "Hi... do you have a minute to talk?"

Paul nodded, unsure of what she wanted to say, and sat on the bed across from her. She smiled again, akwardly, and with her eyes darting away from Paul's she began to speak...

"Umm... I wanted to talk to you about the other day in the showers..."

Paul stopped her, "Alicia... it's okay, trust me. I'm just going through a very confusing period in my life. You're a very beautiful woman..."

Alicia smiled, this time with a small bit of warmth, and her eyes even made contact with Paul's for a brief second. "Thanks... You see, I just thought that because you were a guy before you would like women." She shrugged, "Do you?"

If only I knew, Paul thought. He smiled and spoke, "That's the thing... I'm not really sure. I'm very confused, at times is seems like there are two people trying to wrestle for control of my sex drive..."

Alicia nodded, "I figured that. When I saw you with Damon I realized how comfortable you looked..."

Paul raised an eyebrow, "What do you mean?"

"You know... just the body language a woman has when she's with a man she's attracted to..."

Paul shook his head. He hadn't realized that he'd acted any differently with Damon. Okay, he thought, I've kissed him, but I never thought of it that way. He knew it was ridiculous for a woman to kiss a man and not think of things in that manner, at least slightly, but up until now he had been avoiding the issue in his thoughts. He looked at Alicia, "Is it that obvious?"

She smiled and shrugged, "A little... I've learned to observe these things, being as... I am. I guess it's a bit tough for you to admit it..."

Admit it?, Paul thought. Despite his best efforts to come up with another explanation, he knew Alicia was right. He shrugged, "I guess... who knows? Maybe I was a fucking queer all my life and didn't know it..." He realized his poor choice of words. "I mean... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that. I'm not posing judgement on you... I'm just really confused."

Alicia smiled, "It's okay, I understand what you mean. Paul, I am a lesbian, and I've always known that. I think if you were gay, as a male I mean, you'd have known it before now..."

Paul thought. He'd never had a homosexual thought in his life as a guy. "You're probably right. I never felt... attracted... to a man before." The words sounded like they were from another language. "So what does it mean?"

Alicia shrugged, "I don't know. Maybe you were straight as a man and you're now straight as a woman. It's just something you'll have to figure out. I just wanted to smooth things out between us, if possible..."

Paul smiled, "I'd like that. Listen, I honestly don't know where my feelings are right now, but I could use a friend..."

"I'd like that too... I don't know if you've noticed, but I have a tough time being open with people sometimes."

The two smiled, and then laughed. Paul got up off the bed and Alicia stood to leave. Almost automatically they hugged, a hug of friendship, with no sexual overtones. Alicia smiled and turned to go.

As she walked out the door Paul watched her. What a great ass, he thought, life would be a lot easier if only it turned me on.

Over the next few days Paul went about his business, doing the tests with Damon, having dinner with him occasionally. He kept thinking about his relationship with Damon, trying to figure out if it was indeed sexual attractaion. Occasionally Damon would catch Paul staring at him, and befuddled would ask what was the matter. Paul would only smile and say "Nothing."

In all his thinking one thing became clear... whenever he was with Damon he was comfortable. Unlike most other times, when he was quite conscious of having a female body, when he was with Damon he was just himself. Or herself. Paul didn't even want to think about pronouns yet.

As he entered his room one day after testing was complete he was puzzled to find a cardboard box on his bed. There was a note attached...

"A few things for you... Your Friend, Alicia"

Curious, he quickly opened the box. Inside was a collection of very feminine clothes and some makeup and perfume. Paul was confused. What does she think I need this for?, he thought. He sat the box on the floor and laid down on the bed with a book.

He tried to read, but his attention kept floating back to the box. Finally he sat up, and said "What the hell..." out loud. He locked his door and opened the box again.

The items were both mysterious and familiar. He had worn things like this as Paula, but not since his memory had returned. He pulled out a beautiful silk chemise and held it up to his cheek. It was very soft, and enticing. He stepped out of his grey uniform-like clothes and slowly lowered the chemise over his head. As he looked at himself in the mirror he smiled. The soft silk draped casually over his soft rounded body, accenting his breasts and hips. It had a mid-thigh hem, and his supple legs looked very sexy. He turned back to the box.

Paul pulled a small kit from the box, and sat at the desk. Calling on memories from his life as Paula he expertly applied makeup, softly accentuating his features. When he was finished he looked in the mirror, satisfied. He felt like he'd scratched an itch that he'd been trying to wish away. Staring back at him from the mirror was a beautiful girl, with a fantastic body. He smiled as calm settled through him.

He continued to sort through the box's contents, trying on each item, and loving every minute. The time rushed past, and he soon found himself ready for bed. He reached for the pair of plain panties and bra he normally wore to sleep but paused. He thought for a second, and instead put the chemise back on. As he slipped under the covers he was very aware of the soft silk against his skin, and he enjoyed it. Is this what I want?, he thought.

When he woke up the next day he knew.

TO BE CONTINUED... --ATTENTION--ATTENTION--ATTENTION--ATTENTION Your e-mail reply to this message WILL be automatically ANONYMIZED. Please, report inappropriate use to abuse@anon.penet.fi For information (incl. non-anon reply) write to help@anon.penet.fi If you have any problems, address them to admin@anon.penet.fi

From agate!tcsi.tcs.com!uunet!in2.uu.net!news.tele.fi!news.funet.fi!news.eunet.fi!anon.penet.fi Fri Oct 13 15:29:56 1995 Message-ID: 000310Z13101995@anon.penet.fi Path: agate!tcsi.tcs.com!uunet!in2.uu.net!news.tele.fi!news.funet.fi!news.eunet.fi!anon.penet.fi Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories,alt.sex.stories.tg From: an173204@anon.penet.fi X-Anonymously-To: alt.sex.stories,alt.sex.stories.tg Organization: Anonymous forwarding service Reply-To: an173204@anon.penet.fi Date: Thu, 12 Oct 1995 23:59:11 UTC Subject: TG REPOST: "The Draft" by Michelle Lurker (4b/5) (retry) Lines: 233 Xref: agate alt.sex.stories:105542 alt.sex.stories.tg:1010

The Draft

by Michelle Lurker (c) 1995

CHAPTER FOUR (part b)

Paul hopped off the examining table and sat in the chair across from Damon as he usually did when testing was done. They talked about the normal things - the test results, isolating the insensitive gene - when Paul nervously changed topic.

"Umm... are you busy tonight, for dinner?" he said with a smile.

Damon looked up, and smiled, "Nope..."

"Why don't you grab two dinners and come by my room, then?" Paul offered, "The mess hall gets a bit dreary after a while..."

Damon nodded, "That's for sure... how's 1900?"

Paul smiled, and stood to go, "Great... I'll see you then..."

As Paul left the room Damon had a slightly perplexed look on his face, as he said, "Bye..."

Paul grabbed a few things from one of the storage areas - a small table and two chairs, and some candles. After dropping the items off in his room he took a quick shower. When he got back to his room he was very nervous, and was tempted to call the whole thing off, but he forced himself to go on. He figured there was only one way to know...

He'd borrowed a few more things from Alicia, to complete the atmosphere. He looked to the bed and saw the short black dress, lingerie, and hoisery there. Well, he thought, here goes nothing...

He stepped out of his grey clothes and picked up the lingerie. It too was black, like the dress. He put on the bra, panties, and garter belt. Sitting on the bed he rolled the sheer black stockings up his legs and attached them to the garters. The cool nylon on his legs felt wonderful. Sitting in front of the mirror he took out the makeup kit and began to apply some to his face. He was actually thankful for his memories of being Paula, for the ease with which he applied his makeup. He looked at his hair for a second, and unsatisfied took some hair pins from the cardboard box. He expertly styled it upwards, with a few wisps hanging in his face. Paula, he thought to himself with a chuckle, I owe you one...

Finally he took the dress from the bed and put it on. It had a low cut back, and halter-style straps which met behind his neck. After zipping himself up he turned to look in the mirror.

He was astonished. Wow, he thought, I knew I was good looking, but this is incredible. He took inventory of himself - long luxurious legs encased in black nylon, his firm, youthful body in a tiny black dress, his back and arms bare, his face delicately made up, and his hair swept upwards. Well, he thought, if this is going to be me, at least I'm happy with my appearance. He smiled, beginning to feel at peace with himself, though still very nervous about Damon's reaction...

Slipping on a pair of black pumps he lit the candles and sat down on the bed to wait...

After what seemed an eternity he heard a knock at the door. He stood up, collected himself, and after a quick check in the mirror opened the door. He smiled as he saw Damon there, and said "Hi, Come on in..."

Damon smiled, and looking a bit shocked said, "Hi... wow, you look incredible!"

Paul smiled warmly, "Thank you..."

Damon sat the dinners down on the small table and the two took their seats. "This sure beats the mess hall," he said with a smile.

After finishing their meals and making some small talk Paul looked at Damon quite seriously. "Is this okay? I mean, I hope I'm not wierding you out..."

Damon smiled and reached across the table to take Paul's hand, "It's okay... it's quite nice actually..."

Paul smiled nervously and shrugged, "You know, 'cause I was thinking, you know, that I was a guy... and that might freak you out..."

Damon placed a finger over his lips, and stood, taking Paul's hand. Paul stood and the two faced one another. Slowly, cautiously, Damon lowered his lips to Paul's. Their mouths met in a wonderful, luxurious kiss. They wrapped their arms around one another in a loving embrace. Damon pulled back from the kiss and smiled, "Are you sure?"

Paul nodded, and closed his eyes as they kissed again. Yes, he thought, I am.

Damon began to massage Paul's breast through the fabric of his dress as their kiss lingered. Paul felt a strange mixture of calm and excitment. He didn't know what it all meant, but it felt right. Damon slowly ran his other hand up Paul's back, causing Paul to shudder slightly with pleasure, and unzipped his dress.

Paul stepped out of the dress, and stood before Damon in his lingerie. He smiled at Damon as he began to unbutton his shirt. Damon pulled it off and dropped it to the floor, smiling. They kissed again, as Paul undid Damon's belt, and unzipped his trousers. Damon slid his pants off, and the two stood facing one another in their undies. They both smiled warmly, and continued to kiss.

Paul pulled a chair over from the dining table and placed a leg upon it. Damon smiled as he bent down to kiss Paul's inner thigh, and undid the garter. Paul closed his eyes and sighed. Damon slowly rolled the sheer stocking down Paul's leg, kissing and caressing it as he did. He took Paul's foot in his hand, removing the black pump, and carefully removed the stocking completely. He stood up and they kissed again, and Paul placed his other leg on the chair as Damon began to remove the other stocking.

They kissed a while longer, the candle-light flickering across their features. The whole weight of the world, of everything that had happened to him, it melted away from Paul as Damon held him in his arms, kissing and caressing. Damon carefully lowered Paul to a seated position on the bed and sat next to him. He reached around and undid Paul's bra, pulling it off his arms. Paul smiled as Damon began to kiss and lick his breasts. Damon used his fingers expertly, lightly caressing a nipple, cupping an entire breast, as he sucked and kissed the other. Paul had never felt anything like this before, not even in his memories from Paula. He raised his arms to his head, sighing happily, and took out the hair pins. Shaking his head his hair fell freely about his shoulders...

Paul laid down on the bed, and smiled lustily as Damon stood and removed his underwear. His cock, while not huge, was impressive. Paul thought about it for a second, how odd it seemed that he wasn't the one with the cock anymore, but it didn't really seem to matter. It struck him as odd, nothing else. Paul sat back up, and faced Damon's groin and now stiff prick.

Hmmn, Paul thought, and for a second he remembered Tom Renalds. He chuckled to himself and though with a smile, Gee Tom, bet you've never had it this good. Paul took Damon's penis in his small hand and began to slowly caress it, looking up at Damon, the two smiling. Paul thought to himself 'here goes nothing', and kneeled down on the floor in front of Damon.

Paul cautiously, curiously, kissed the tip of Damon's penis. Once he had done that he felt oddly relieved, and closed his eyes and took it into his mouth. He began to pump his mouth along the organ slowly, using his tongue, occasionally lightly brushing it with his teeth. Damon closed his eyes and sighed in pleasure. Paul felt none of the degredation or humiliation he had remembered as Paula. He was merely giving pleasure to someone he cared about...

After a while Damon pulled back, and Paul looked up. Damon was smiling, and took Paul's hand and led him back onto the bed. Paul laid down, and Damon sat next to him. He placed a finger in Paul's panties, and slid them off. Paul shifted his hips slightly, smiling, to facilitate their removal. Damon climbed on top of Paul, and the two began to kiss again. Paul felt warmth and wetness in his vagina.

He didn't know if it was right, if he should be feeling this way, but he couldn't deny that for the first time in his life he felt completely free. Maybe he would have felt this way with a woman, if he were still a man, he thought, but it didn't matter. He cared for Damon, and knew that it felt right. Nothing else seemed to matter.

As if reading Paul's thoughts Damon lowered his penis and slowly began to move into Paul's sex. Paul's breath hitched as he felt the wonder of being entered by a man. His thoughts became diluted, losing their focus, becoming only feelings. He felt happiness, warmth, and love as Damon began to pump in and out of him. There was more than a mere physical bonding - Paul felt as though he had only one being, and that was coupled with Damon.

Their tempo incresed, and their breathing set into sync. Paul could not tell which were his moans, or which were Damon's. Soon there was nothing but pleasure... not touch, sight, smell, sound, or taste, only one solidified sensation - pleasure.

Paul felt a building within him, and was suddenly overcome with orgasm. He felt Damon release, and for a second time stopped.

It was so unlike anything Paul had ever experienced - it was like tasting a colour, or touching a sound. The warmth of the orgasm exploded from his vagina through his entire body, bringing a message of happiness and pleasure to every nerve ending. He felt his body shudder, as Damon shuddered. And suddenly, like an entire orchestra stopping cold, it was over, leaving only the soft hum of memory...

Damon collapsed next to him and smiled, "That was incredible... I think I'm falling for you, Paul..."

Paul smiled, "You know, considering the circumstances, I think 'Paul' sounds a bit silly..."

Damon chuckled, "Okay, I think I'm falling for you... Paula?"

Paul nodded and smiled, "And I think I'm falling for you, Damon..."

The two held each other, and drifted off to sleep. As Paul was drifting he tought about it all... and could not come up with a reason why what had happened was anything but good. What are a different set of pronouns anyway?, he though. They wouldn't change who he was. So I guess I'm Paula again, he thought. She smiled and fell into a peaceful sleep...

Paula awoke to find Damon sitting at the desk, with tea and a bagel. He smiled and looked to her, "Good morning, Paula... I brought you some breakfast..."

Paula liked the way that sounded. She was still Paul, but now added an 'a' at the end of her name. She smiled dreamily, "Thank you..."

The stared at one another with love in their eyes for a moment when there was a knock at the door. Paula called out, "Come in..."

Alicia walked in, and looking at the situation smiled. "Oh, sorry... I just wanted to tell you that Eva's called a meeting for 1300..."

Damon and Paula looked puzzled. "What's it for?" Damon asked.

Alicia shrugged, "I'm not sure, but it's important..."

TO BE CONTINUED... --ATTENTION--ATTENTION--ATTENTION--ATTENTION Your e-mail reply to this message WILL be automatically ANONYMIZED. Please, report inappropriate use to abuse@anon.penet.fi For information (incl. non-anon reply) write to help@anon.penet.fi If you have any problems, address them to admin@anon.penet.fi

From agate!howland.reston.ans.net!newsfeed.internetmci.com!chi-news.cic.net!news.uiowa.edu!uunet!in1.uu.net!news.tele.fi!news.funet.fi!news.eunet.fi!anon.penet.fi Fri Oct 13 15:29:56 1995 Message-ID: 203308Z12101995@anon.penet.fi Path: agate!howland.reston.ans.net!newsfeed.internetmci.com!chi-news.cic.net!news.uiowa.edu!uunet!in1.uu.net!news.tele.fi!news.funet.fi!news.eunet.fi!anon.penet.fi Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories,alt.sex.stories.tg From: an173204@anon.penet.fi X-Anonymously-To: alt.sex.stories,alt.sex.stories.tg Organization: Anonymous forwarding service Reply-To: an173204@anon.penet.fi Date: Thu, 12 Oct 1995 20:27:01 UTC Subject: TG REPOST: "The Draft" by Michelle Lurker (5/5) Lines: 522 Xref: agate alt.sex.stories:105480 alt.sex.stories.tg:1004

The Draft

by Michelle Lurker (c) 1995

CHAPTER FIVE

Paula sat at the table of the conference room with all the leaders of the Underground. Damon, Alicia, Reginald, Eva, and some others she hadn't met were there. Paula didn't know why the meeting had been called, but by the looks on the faces around her she could tell it was serious. As Eva began to talk the room hushed.

"Hello, and thank you all for coming at such short notice. We have gained some information which could lead to a major victory in our struggle... but I am getting ahead of myself. First of all I'd like to introduce you to a person who has provided much help in our research into behaviour modifier insensitivity, Paul Matthews..." Eva pointed to Paula.

Paula smiled and spoke, "Thank you, but I think under the circumstances Paula makes more sense..."

Eva nodded, and smiled, "Very well, then, Paula Matthews." Paula smiled and they exchanged a knowing look.

Eva continued, "Now to business. We have learned, from an on-surface agent, the location of the central drug supply warehouse." The room filled with excited murmurs, and Eva went on, "Yes, this is a great opportunity for the Underground, and for freedom. The Warehouse distributes Mastain, Subtain, and Regutain to the entire north section of the country. To cut off the supply of the government's behavoir controllers would leave our entire population ready for the truth.

"The Warehouse is located in the western section of our city, and is relativity unguarded, considering its strategic importance. We can only assume this is due to sheer arrogance on the government's part. Our plan is to set explosives within the building, destroying the building and it's contents... by our estimation enough drugs to control the entire country for a period of six months..."

The room once again filled with excitment. Such a blow would leave the government scrambling to maintain their control over the people. Eva detailed the plan, showing a diagram of the Warehouse layout. A small team, five or perhaps six people, would enter via an old Turboway shaft and set the explosives.

Looking at the map Paula realized for the first time where exactly they were. She had suspected that the Underground was located in old Turboway areas, and was right. The Underground HQ was located in the remnants of an old pre-Reformation transportation system called Sub Way. They were approximately 100 yards below the surface. Looking at the map more closely Paula chuckled to herself, realizing that they were only minutes away from her old school. Small world, she thought.

Paula shifted her attention back to Eva as she called for voulunteers. Without a second thought she raised her hand. She might have accepted being female, but she still wanted a chance to extract some revenge on those who had made her that way, and who had enslaved her country for so long. Eva looked over, nodded, and added her name to the team. Alicia also joined the team, along with three men Paula hadn't met. It was decided they would attack in two days, before the government had a chance to discover the leak and tighten security at the warehouse. As Paula was listening to details about the mission she noticed Damon looking at her. She couldn't quite understand what the look meant...

As the meeting finished, and everyone began to stand and leave, Eva walked over to Paula. "So I guess you will be staying with us then?" she asked.

Paula smiled, and shrugged, "No where else for me to go, really..."

Eva smiled, and the two hugged. Paula felt very close to Eva then, like the mother she never really had. They smiled again, as Eva was called over to a group of leaders discussing some aspect of the plan.

Paula turned to go, and found Damon hanging about at the door. She smiled as she walked to him, but he merely stared at her. Paula was confused, and started to speak, "Damon, what is the..."

Before she could finish he turned and walked out.

Paula could not find Damon anywhere the next day. She spent some time training with the team for the mission, and when she was done dropped by the lab. Damon was nowhere to be found. She kept thinking, What did I do?

She went back to her quarters, and slumped in a chair. He probably became disgusted that he had had sex with a woman you was previously a man, she figured. Tears began to slide down her cheeks... she didn't know how to deal with this. Paula knew she had become close to Damon, very close, but didn't realize just how much he had meant to her.

She was startled by a knock at the door. Damon opened it, walked into the room, and closed it behind him. They stared at one another for a minute, and she was unsure of what to say. Damon opened his mouth to speak, a definite tinge of nervousness in his voice.

"Umm... I don't think you should go on this mission," he said dryly. "I've been thinking about it, and you are much too valuable to the movement for research... I am going to advise Eva to revoke your team membership."

Paula looked at him, stunned. Her emotions swirled around her - sadness, frustration, anger. She stood and looked at into his eyes. "How dare you? I'm not your freak to study!" She realized that she was screaming, and crying again. She began to hit him, her emotions running over.

Damon grabbed her arms, and looked at her. She stopped struggling, and again looked into his eyes. "I cared about you... I was falling in love with you..."

Tears began to form in Damon's eyes. He looked away for a second, and then refixed his gaze upon Paula. "Don't you see? They've taken my wife and child... I can't stand to risk losing you..."

Paula shook her arms free of Damon's grip, and wiped her eyes. She calmed herself somewhat, and sniffled. "What? You mean you aren't disgusted with me?"

Damon shook his head, forcing a smile, "Never... Paula, you are the first person I've really cared about since my wife was killed. I don't care if you were a man before, or an animal, or anything else... all that matters is that you are now a woman, a woman I've fallen in love with... Paula, I don't think I could go on without you."

Paula stared at Damon for a second, letting his words sink in. She knew then what he said was true, it didn't matter who she once was, she was now a woman... a woman in love with him. She hugged him tightly, pressing her face into his chest, "Damon... I'm sorry... I didn't know. I love you..."

Damon held her tight, and smiled. "I love you too, Paula. I'm so afriad of losing you."

Paula looked him in the eyes, "But, you have to know, this is something I have to do..."

Damon nodded sadly, and kissed her. "I guess I knew that. If you insist on going, however, I want to go too..."

Paula smiled, and they kissed again. They did not make love that night, but held each other as they slept.

The next day Damon told Eva of his plans to join the team. She agreed, and they had one last briefing meeting. Paula, Damon, and Alicia sat at the meeting table along with the three men Paula hadn't met before, Peter, James, and Ted. Eva sat down with them, and began to speak.

"You six are very brave, and the Underground appreciates fully the dangers you will encounter. The mission on which you will embark is one of great importance, not only to the Underground but to all people. It will also put your lives in jeopardy. If anyone here should decide not to go that will be fine. We will think no less of you..." No one muttered a word. "Excellent... you are all people of the higest caliber. We thank you, as the untold millions will thank you. You are in our prayers tonight. Now I suggest you all have a full night's rest... you will leave at 0500 tommorow."

The team rose and began to leave. Eva looked to Paula and smiled, "Paula, may I have a word with you before you go?"

Paula nodded, and the rest of the team left. Eva sat down on a chair next to Paula and took her hand. "Paula, I just wanted to say that I am proud of you, of the strength you've shown. You have served as a role-model for many within the movement."

Paula smiled, "Thank you, Eva. I don't know what to say..."

Eva grinned, "I am also happy that you have found a place of comfort within yourself. I hope you know that whether you are Paul or Paula it doesn't change the strength of your character. I hope you are happy, as Paula, for a long time..."

Paula nodded, "I think I will be... and I thank you for giving me a true sense of womanhood to aspire to."

Eva smiled, and Paula did too. As they stood Paula instinctively hugged the woman. They stood for a second, Paula's eyes clouding.

She wiped away her tears, laughing, "Gee... what a girl thing to do, laugh when you're happy."

Eva smiled again, "I think you'll be alright, Paula Matthews."

The two said their goodbyes and Paula left for her quarters.

When Paula opened the door she was not surprised to find Damon sitting on the bed, smiling. She closed the door behind her and sat next to him. Looking into his eyes she pressed her lips against his, and they met in a soft, gentle kiss.

Damon spoke, "No matter what happens to us tommorow I want you to know I love you more than anything..."

Paula smiled, "And I love you Damon... thank you for helping me find who I am..."

He smiled, and kissed her again. They laid back on the bed, each in the other's embrace. Their lips were almost fused together as they kissed for what seemed an eternity. Damon's tongue flicked and explored the sweetness of Paula's mouth, her tongue tasting the masculine presence of his. He slowly slid his hand along her body, and began to gently massage her breast. Paula smiled, and began to undress. Damon also smiled, as he too removed his clothing.

The laid next to each other, naked in both body and spirit. Paula felt the last barriers to her femininity melt away as they explored one another's bodies with their hands, lips, tongue. Each movement seemed like a tableaux of passion to her, like a beautiful flower unfolding. Finally, as if the last unfolding, Damon entered her.

As he began to pump into her she adjusted her movements to drain the most pleasure from each thrust. She didn't know if nature had intended her to be female, but she now relished the opportunity. As Damon's manhood worked inside her Paula looked deep inside her person and felt balance. Where she once might have thought of herself as many people she now was only one, a bonding of all elements feminine and masculine. And that balance was now bonding to Damon.

Their lovemaking intensified, their thrusts and writhing in unison. Finally they came, together, as one. It seemed as though Paula's orgasm shot not only through her body, but Damon's as well, and his through her. Panting, they drew apart, and laid next to one another, smiling.

As they began to drift into sleep Paula spoke, "Damon.. I just realized I don't know your last name..." It was protocol for members of the Underground not to know each other's last names for security. If they were ever captured they could only give first names, making it more difficult for more members to be arrested. Paula had been a different case, coming to the group as she did.

Damon opened his eyes and smiled, "Well, considering the circumstances I guess its okay. It's Newman."

Paula smiled, and they both closed their eyes again. Damon Newman... the name floated in her thoughts, and made her happy.

The team met at 0500, and was led through the corridors of the Underground to an exit. They wore standard issue worker's coveralls, to blend in with the workforce at the warehouse. Wordlessly they left the corridor and stepped into the Turboway shaft.

James led the team, using their map to move through the tunnels under the city. They seemed to walk for hours, Paula thought. All along the way Damon walked close, holding her hand. Finally James stopped, and began to look at the ceiling. Finding a small grating he nodded. They were there.

Crawling through the small entrance they found themselves within the huge warehouse. It was dimly lit, which was to their advantage, and there were no workers to be seen. Paula figured that the morning shift must not have begun yet.

They split into two teams: Peter, James, and Alicia in one; Damon, Paula, and Ted in the other. The set out in two different directions, following the warehouse floorplan to set their explosives.

At each marked point Paula, Ted, and Damon stopped. While two stood watch the other planted a small timed explosive in an inconspicous place. Whether or not they were out of the warehouse the explosives would detinate at 0900. Paula checked her watch - 0822 - just enough time to set the explosives and leave.

They silently went about their work, covering the huge expanse of the warehouse. Paula was amazed at what seemed millions of huge containers, each full of some drug that enslaved the population. The three turned a corner, to find the next explosive point, when they walked straight into an armed guard.

He cocked his rifle and looked them over, "What are you doing here? Morning shift's not until 0930..."

Damon spoke, "We're a special maintenance crew... sent by the director..."

The guard eyed him warily, and reached for his com unit, "I'll have to call this in..."

Before he could activate it Ted lunged at him. Damon grabbed the com unit and threw it away as Ted and the guard struggled. Suddenly there was a muffled bang. Paula stood in shock as Ted's body slumped away, lifeless and bloody.

Damon quickly kicked the guard's rifle away, and they grabbed hold of one another. As they fought Damon yelled to Paula, "Run!"

She stood, terrified, for a second. Finally she grabbed hold of her courage and ran. As she turned another corner, blindly running, she looked back at Damon, struggling with the guard...

After running for what seemed forever Paula found herself in a room unlike the rest of the warehouse. It seemed to be a control centre of some sort. There were computer screens and controls, complex meters and charts... this must be the centre for distribution, she thought. Looking across the controls she found a screen which read "SECURITY LEVEL - GREEN". She sighed, glad to know that, for now anyway, they were undetected. She slumped in a chair when a voice called out from behind her. Startled, she spun around, drawing her pistol...

The man looked confused. "What the..." he began, but his face was taken over by disbelief, "You?"

Suddenly Paula recognized the man. Mr. Busch. Her 'father' after the SDF experiments.

He continued to stare at her. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" he questioned.

Paula levelled the gun at him, and said coldly, "Don't move."

He stopped, and nodded. "So, you're one of them..." he said. Paula merely stared at him, her gun unwavering. He looked at her, and spoke again, "So, I guess by now you know who you are. Paul Matthews, though the name doesn't seem to fit the description..." He chuckled.

Paula held her aim, "You bastards did this to me..."

He smiled, "And a fine job, too. My oh my, you are one hot piece of ass. So Paul, are you happy with tits and a cunt? Do you have a protestor, or Underground, or whatever you call yourselves boyfriend? I bet you suck his cock every night, and love it. You like wearing silky panties, don't you? We've done you a favour, Paul..."

Paula shook her head. She knew what he was trying to do... years of socialization where pressing into her mind. She pushed them away, and continued to stare at him.

He smiled, "Then again... maybe we've made a mistake. Even the best governments make errors. You seem like a strong person, Paul. Maybe we could give you your old body back... you could take a position of power, and we could wipe out these pointless rebels. What do you say, Paul? I bet you miss being a man..."

Paula's mind flooded with memories... her life as Paul, as a man. A part of her cried out... wanting to regain her former manhood.

He continued, "Unless I'm wrong... you do want to be a man again, don't you? What is it, Paul? Why do you hesitate? Oh... I get it. You like being a woman... you like having a little pussy-hole... you like getting fucked by men. Well, if that's it, Paul, I'm sure we could oblige you..."

Paula screamed, "Shut Up!" The desire to be a man again rose in her... the strengths, the rights, the freedoms, all of which she could have only as a man. "NO!" her mind screamed. She thought of Damon, Eva, Alicia... they had shown her the truth. The government had made her a female, physically, but who she was now had nothing to do with that. She had found peace as a woman, a peace that had been in her all along. No promise of manhood could replace that. She remembered what Eva had said, about the idealized versions of masculinity and femininity society had created. She was neither, and wanted to be neither. She had found balance...

Mr. Busch was perspiring now, seeing that he was not persuading her. "Don't you see, Paul," he pleaded, "it's about order. You have to maintain order. You people can't win. You don't know what it was like before the Reformation... we HAVE TO MAINTAIN ORDER!" He was babbling now, "Order, you stupid cunt, ORDER!"

Paula steeled herself, and closed her eyes. She tried to find the courage... she thought of Damon's family, dead, murdered. Are we any better?, she thought, but slowly began to squeeze the pistol trigger.

A shot rang off, and she opened her eyes. She looked at Mr. Busch, slumping against the wall, and back to her pistol. The counter didn't register a shot being taken. She looked up again, and Alicia stood before her. She spoke, "C'mon... we have to get out of here before it blows..."

Paula looked at the pistol, and threw it to the ground. She followed Alicia out of the control room and to the exit grating. As they entered the tunnel she looked to Alicia, and muttered, "Damon?"

Alicia shook her head, and began to run. Paula stood for a moment, and ran after her. When they were quite a distance away she heard a muffled boom. She tought only of Damon...

They had been running for about an hour when they stumbled across the man laying on the tunnel floor. He was bruised and bloodied, but was alive. When he looked up and forced a smile Paula burst into tears and grabbed hold of him. It was Damon.

He told them that he had beaten the guard unconscious, but was hurt badly in the process. He searched throught the warehouse, and after he found the bodies of the others he feared the worst. He lowered himself into the tunnel and walked until he passed out.

Alicia and Paula helped him up, and they began to slowly walk towards the Underground.

They were a short while away from the entrance when another man came running at them. Alicia cocked her rifle and aimed it at him. She lowered it when she saw it was Reginald. He had been shot...

He slumped to the ground, and began to speak. "They... traced... us..." he stammered. Paula suddenly realized why he never spoke - he obviously had a speech impediment, probably from the Regutain. Alicia crouched next to him.

"Reginald," she said, "it's okay... slow down. What happened?"

"Soldiers... they found us," he forced out, "Everyone dead... I try to stop them... I'm sorry..."

"What?" Alicia almost screamed, "Eva... is Eva dead?"

Reginald slowly nodded. He spoke again, "I'm sorry... I tried to stop them... everyone dead..." His voice trailed off...

For the first time ever Paula saw a total outpouring of emotion from Alicia. She slumped to the groud, crying, "no... no.. no..." Damon leaned over Reginald, and checked his pulse. He looked up, and shook his head.

Standing, he and Paula fell into each other's arms. They too began crying. Paula felt a wave of grief pass over her, and then everything went black.

The events that happened next passed in a blur. Alicia, against Paula and Damon's pleading, went on to the Underground. They waved goodbye, and she promised she'd see them again. Paula and Damon went back along the tunnel, and eventually found their way to the surface. Paula's eyes squinted as she saw sunlight for the first time in as long she could remember.

They had exited into the 'ghetto' section of the city, where support for the Underground was strong. Damon found a 'safe house' where they stayed for the next few weeks as his wounds healed. The people there confirmed that the base had indeed been destroyed, and that Eva had died. Elements of the Underground from around the country mourned the loss of a great woman, person, and leader. Paula cried many times during those weeks, both alone and with Damon.

They found out some good news, too. The bombing of the warehouse had been successful. The government was scrambling to replenish its supply of the behavoir drugs, and small scale rebellion had broken out in some cities. This gave Paula some solace, though she often wondered about the cost of it all.

When Damon was healthy enough, and they felt it was safe enough, they began to travel across the country. They stayed at various 'safe houses' like the one in the city as they moved towards the 'Free Zone'. They were far too conspicous now to continue on in the Underground without calling undue risk to the movement. The Underground leaders were glad to hear that Damon would continue his MI research in safety.

The Free Zone was in the central part of the continent, far enough away to elude the government's control. It's people were sympathetic to the Underground, and offered them sanctuary.

Throughout the many dark and dangerous nights of their journey Paula and Damon had only each other to hold, and with each passing moment their love grew. When they finally came to the great golden plains they knew they were safe.

EPILOGUE

Mrs. Paula Newman looked at herself in the mirror of the old farmhouse she called home. She was a beautiful young woman, long dark hair, deep green eyes, and an attractive figure. Right now she was slightly plump, for she was with child. She held her hand against her tummy, and smiled as she felt the baby kick. It's going to be a boy, she thought.

She walked into the living room, careful to avoid stepping on the toys strewn there. Eva Alicia, her first, was off with her father in town. Paula picked up the toys, smiling, and put them in the toy box.

Walking onto the porch she looked across the fields, lit sparklingly by the mid-day sun. Two years, she thought. It seemed an eternity, but that's all it was. She still thought of Eva, and the friends she had lost, but time had thankfully dulled most of the pain. She often tried to imagine Alicia, happy with her lover, though she knew it probably wasn't the case. Still, she hoped...

Her memories of being Paul didn't dim over time, however, in fact they became stronger. They didn't make her feel less of a woman, more so in fact. She had balanced her persona, and her experiences and memories as Paul were as much a part of her as anything she had done since becoming Paula. A body was only a vessel, she figured, it was who you are inside that counted. And she was happy with who she was.

She and Damon maintained contact with the Underground. He kept them appraised of his work on drug insensitivity... he hoped to have a neutralizing drug within the year. They kept him informed about the state of the government. Though they still maintained their power, it had been greatly reduced by the decrease in supply of their drugs. Paula knew a wave of change was coming. Her friends' deaths would not be pointless...

She closed her eyes and smiled as a cool summer's breeze passed over her, causing her sundress to flow in the wind. She stood there for a second longer, and turned to go back into the house. Her husband and child would be there soon, and they would eat together.

THE END

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