Author's note:
Thanks again to those who wrote in encouraging me, new and old readers. Love hearing from you all.
Drop me a line if you want: wereallmadhere@hotmail.com
Thank you Jay Alexander for editing this and making it work so well once again, and for your support with my story, and everything else. I REALLY REALLY APPRECIATE IT!!!
If you are under age or it is illegal for you to be reading such "filth", please leave. This material contains crude language (gosh!), and homosexuality (oh my!), so if you are offended, then, yes....goodbye!
This story is purely fictional. So, any similarity to anyone or anything is purely coincidental. If you want to put this story somewhere else, distribute it, whatever, please ask me first. Thanks!
I used a song in this part, and I will in later chapters as well. Using the song does not in any way suggest that I asked permission or that the band may or may not support the views of my story. Since I am not getting any financial benefit or otherwise from using the song, I hope that it is ok.
And so...
CHAPTER 10
My world was shattering into pieces. My guarded secret, which I held on to with my life, was being exposed. I couldn't do anything about it. It was wrong of me to assume that Thane and I could live in our hidden Paradise and that no one would know. I was stupid. Now, I was paying the price.
I was so upset that I called Cat. She was understanding and told me that if I trusted Hannah enough to become such good friends, then I would have to have faith in her that she would not sell me out. She also made it clear that I would HAVE to TALK to Hannah.
After I told Thane about what happened, and along with his encouragement, I apprehensively approached Hannah. It was another day of revelation. I was distraught, but after I talked it all out with her, I felt better. She didn't hold me in contempt. She was very understanding and even said that she would keep up the charade of being my girlfriend for Kenny, but that I needed to deal with Kenny, and soon. Apparently, the vibe she got from Kenny was that he was a really open-minded person and that he held me in the highest regard. Ya right!
Days turned to months, and Thane and I became more and more submersed in each other. He helped me through a lot of my fears about being gay. I slowly started to reveal more and more about myself, especially about my family. We still sneaked around, so that I could keep our relationship under wraps. Thane was none too pleased with it, but he did it, for my sake. I felt guilty, yet, also relieved.
On the flip side, our sexual relationship just seemed to get better and better. But, I still was not ready to be fucked yet, nor the other way around. Winter holidays were soon approaching and I felt sad for leaving Thane, all alone in his apartment. I couldn't very well bring him home. After promising to call him every day, I packed my bags and got ready to head home, along with Kenny.
Things still hadn't get better with Kenny. We were still acting very aloof with one another. Whenever Thane came over, Kenny tried extra hard to be a bastard to him. I returned the favor with Paul. If he was rude to my friend, I would be too. Childish? Yes. But, that was our relationship, Kenny's and mine. We were stuck in time. Unfortunately, our relationship hadn't evolved with us. We still acted like we were 10 years old with each other. I was really getting sick of Kenny's consistent badgering about Thane and I and his stupid-ass innuendoes about us. One day, I would just burst.
We were sitting on the train, on our way back. Funny, to me, my parents' house was not home anymore. I felt most at home in Thane's apartment, where I could just be me, kiss the man I was with without any inhibitions, or without looking over my shoulder. That was home. I didn't know yet if I loved Thane. He had told me that he loved me. I was not able to respond. As expected, he told me he understood. I felt so horrible. There was this unspoken problem hanging between us, something that was preventing us from moving on to the next level. I wasn't ready yet to admit what that was, even to myself.
I really did want to be with Thane. It was a picture-perfect life for me. A supportive, mature, rich boyfriend. But, still, something did not fit. I guess putting values on aesthetics is not right. Oh well.
There I was reading a book and Kenny was listening to his Walkman, very, very loudly.
"In my mind and in my car, ... we can't rewind we've gone too far ... And now we meet in an abandoned studio... You hear the playback and it seems so long ago... And I remember, the jingles used to go ... oh-a-oh ... You were the first one... oh-a-oh ... You were the last one ... Video killed the radio star.... Video killed the radio star ..."
He was sitting with his legs spread so far apart like someone was going to suck him off any minute or something. And I KNOW his package didn't need THAT much room. Whatever man.
Every so often his leg would brush mine and I would move away. Then again. And again, until I was pretty much cornered to the wall. I couldn't move any further. Just one more time, asshole..
He did it again.
That was IT!
I swung my leg and hit his intruding leg so hard that his snapped back. "Fuck you!"
He had the audacity to laugh like a fool. "Chill out, dude."
"Why don't you move to your spot asshole and give me room?"
"You know you like it." He smirked at me. See? See what I mean with the innuendoes?! Within the last month, after he met Thane, he had turned completely into my brother, Owen, with his closed-minded homo jokes.
I turned back to my book. I didn't trust myself to open my mouth, lest something that I wasn't ready yet to reveal came out.
Kenny's parents were waiting at the train station. Mine weren't. Big surprise.
Kenny kissed his mom and hugged his dad. Then they turned to me.
"Galen, baby, how are you?" Mama Brien came over and hugged me.
"Good...good."
I guess she noticed the sadness in my voice. "Your mom wanted us to pick you up."
"Ya, I know. Thanks. How are you? Everything ok now?" I had called a couple of times after she returned from the hospital and she was recovering fast. She was a fighter.
"Great. Now that my boys are back home." She had tears in her eyes.
"Aww...Ma!" Kenny was thoroughly embarrassed. I tried to hold back my own tears. My mother wouldn't shed a single tear for me.
"Hey, Mr. O'Brien."
"Galen. Aren't you looking all grown up now?" He chuckled. He was teasing me.
"Well, I prayed for a growth spurt...but..."
"He'll always be puny..." Kenny glanced over at me and smiled. It was an inside joke. A glimmer of the old Kenny shone in his eyes. I swallowed the lump in my throat and smiled back at him.
When I got to my house, I saw that the whole place had been decorated for Christmas. Christmas was five days away. There were Christmas lights outlining the house, a wreath hanging on the door and plastic Santa Claus with his stupid reindeer sitting on my lawn. Ah, I loved Christmas. Hopefully, it would snow. I loved how everything turned all white. So refreshing, so innocent. I couldn't wait.
I looked at my house and I knew that a passerby probably thought this house had a family, who loved and cared for one another, but if only he knew. Such aesthetics did nothing to hide the foreboding that I felt because I knew what lay behind the fence of my house.
I looked over. Next door, Kenny's dad was helping him bring in his luggage. They saw me looking at them and turned to wave. I waved back. They disappeared inside the house, to bond as a family. Mine would probably not even care that I was home.
I sighed as I knocked on the door. Fiona opened the door with a big smile on her face and a hug ready. I started feeling better.
"Finally. We were all like waiting."
"For me?"
"No...Santa... Come on. Dinner is in an hour."
I grasped her wrist before she could whisk away. "What's going on?"
She sighed. "Hopefully not a deja vu."
"Huh?"
She arched one of her eyebrows, "Owen is bringing home someone special."
"Oh."
"My sentiments exactly. But, oh my god, like the O'Briens aren't invited this time. I think Dad felt this was a family affair and that they are way too involved in our lives already." As if a thought occurred to her, she continued, "You know, ever since like you left for University back in September, we haven't been that close with them. There's like A LOT of unspoken tension. I think Dad thinks that Mr. and Mrs. O'Brien made you go to that University. Whatever!"
"Oh."
"Stop saying that. I gotta go and help Ma. She'll bitch otherwise." She ran off, leaving me baffled standing in the front hallway.
As an afterthought, she came running back and kissed my cheeks, "By the way, I'm glad to see you back. I missed you." She smiled her sweet smile and left.
So...it was Owen's turn today, eh? Why was I not informed? I get it, I wasn't important enough. Well then.
I won't bore you with the details, but rest assured, it wasn't a man nor a black woman or a woman of any other questionable ethnicity. She was as white as they came. Seriously. Blonde hair, blue eyes, the works. Her ancestors were probably Vikings. And she was Catholic. That's an oxymoron if I've ever seen one. I could bet that if she stepped into a church, she would burst into flames.
My parents didn't see all that. They were too fooled by the outside appearance, her superficiality. My mother was so happy, she was ready to get on her knees and pray right there and then. My dad was still skeptical ... she wasn't totally "perfect" after all. She wasn't Irish. We were. But, Cat and I knew better. She used to go to our high school. One word: 'Ho! She's A 'HO! Every guy our age has heard of her talented mouth and there was nothing she wouldn't do for some toke.
It was sickening, seeing her sitting on Owen's lap and laughing with my parents. Owen ain't Santa, bitch. Ho! Ho! Ho!
Cat, Fiona and I stayed in the background. Liam was too young to understand, although, I saw him steal glances, once in a while, at her boobs as they jiggled when she laughed. I guess my parents don't have to worry about any more of their sons turning gay. But, back to Candie. Ya, that was her name, short for Candice (I personally wouldn't have shortened it to such foolishness). I shit you not!
Our contempt for her was quite obvious. And she (it?) was going to be a part of our family. They were engaged. I shuddered. As if my family wasn't fucked enough! This put the Adams Family to shame. Owen seemed happy as ever. He was the pimp and she was his whore. I couldn't believe my parents couldn't see through her. I mean, come on, she was a BIMBO!
I was still suspicious. Why would Owen settle down at such a young age?
He wasn't that type and I didn't believe for a moment that he was 'in love'. He couldn't love anyone. He was up to something.
Author's Endnote: A lot of people wrote in asking why Galen was so scared that Hannah found out about him in the last chapter. I don't like to interpret the story for a reader, but, I will anyway. LOL. This once, I promise.
Galen is very closeted and the idea that someone could so easily see through him, find out about him, without his consent. THAT made him scared. If Hannah could, maybe Kenny could too? Or others...his family! It had nothing to do with the person in question....Hannah. It was just his secret and it seemed out of his control when Hannah approached him with it first, unlike when HE came out to his sister, Cat.
Hope that clears something up... or clouds something over... either way....as long as it has gotten your interest enough to write to me about it ... it's all good.