Author's Note:
First off, a big "THANK YOU" to all who encouraged me to keep posting and writing the story. Secondly, I would really like some feedback...good, bad, anything is appreciated. Email me at: wereallmadhere@hotmail.com
If you are under age or it is illegal for you to be reading such "filth", please leave. This material contains crude language (gosh!), and homosexuality (oh my!), so if you are offended, then, yes....goodbye!
I hope I don't offend anyone with this story. It is purely fiction, all from my own imagination as well as being inspired by many a great writers on this site. I do use politically incorrect terms for certain subject matters, but I am trying to portray the thought process of the protagonist. I do not use refined story-telling language, because I want to say it in the voice of the protagonist.
This is not a stroke piece. (Half my readers...GONE!) It is a story of self-discovery and the trials and tribulations of a young man dealing with life, with the added worry about being gay. I use crude terms, not to offend the gay population, but to mock society and how they view homosexuals...and even how twisted it is, that the ones who feel the hate the most, are the gay men themselves. So, I dedicate it to you all. Cheers.
CHAPTER 3
Somewhere along the way my dreams turned to nightmares...nightmares where I was alone. Thane hated me, Kenny hated me, my family hated me and someone was shaking me...what the hell?
"Dude, wake up!"
"Wha..?" I think that should be my slogan.
"I need the stapler, where's yours?"
"Wha..?" Come on, I was still in sleep mode. I tried to open my eyes, to see a very unfocused Kenny looking back at me. Morning stubble growing on his handsome face. Blue piercing eyes. Fuck! If only I could get up each morning like this.
"Galen!"
"What?"
"S-T-A-P-L-E-R! Where the fuck is it?"
"Bottom drawer, jeez...and good morning to you too."
"Sorry bro, I just realized my assignment is due in like fucking ten minutes and I need to hurry." I turned to see the perfect backside of Kenny as he rummaged through my bottom drawer to find the stapler. Oh FUCK! Bottom drawer! I was awake.
"Kenny...no, wait, it's not there...wait..." I stumbled out of my bed, but fell. The sheets were tangled around my legs, damn uncoordinated asshole that I am. As I tried to extract myself from the dilemma, I heard it.
"Galen, what's this?"
I stopped everything I was doing. I couldn't look up at Kenny. Time stopped for me. My throat went dry. I knew it. With God knows what strength, I looked up and there was Kenny, my handsome Kenny, confusion etched on his perfect face. Holding up my sketchbook, open to the page of my drawing from last night.
Oh fuck!
"Oh" I couldn't think. I mean my brain completely shut down. My worst nightmare was now reality. I wished a big, black, cliched hole would just appear and swallow me the fuck up. I know I turned red. I was on the verge of tears and looking at Kenny wasn't much better. He was a rooted statue... just as lost as me, I'm sure.
Just then, the door to our room burst open. I don't know which God took pity on me, but one of Kenny's Engineering friend came panting into the room, totally oblivious to the tension in the room. "Kenny, come on man, the assignment is due...what the hell are you waiting for?" Then as an afterthought (which I was used to by now), he (Paul) turned to me, "Oh, hey Galen, the toga look......nice!"
"Wha..?" That was me, in case you couldn't figure it out. Then I looked down at myself. I was still on the floor, my bed sheet wrapped around me. Oh, I get it. How funny. Ha..ha. Seriously, sometimes I think these Engineer boys have lost their creativity working with numbers and pre-derived formulas all damn day long.
"Did someone just die, guys?" Paul inquired, looking back from Kenny to me and back to Kenny. Finally, he caught on. Bravo! Then he noticed the sketchbook still gripped tightly within Kenny's hands, the grip so tight, I could tell, since his knuckles turned white. "What's that?" Paul took a step towards Kenny.
Kenny snapped out of whatever trance he was in. "Wha..? was Kenny's response as he glanced one last time at the sketchbook and quickly closed it shut and threw it back in the drawer. "Oh, nothing, just checking out some of Galen's art projects...k', let's get the assignment handed in."
With that, they both left, Kenny never even bothering to look at me. Oh boy. I didn't know what the hell to do with myself. I felt like crying, and cry I did.
After some time, the phone brought me back to reality.
"Hello?" I asked with a shaky voice.
"What's wrong babe?" It was Hannah. She was a friend I met in Art History class. Totally cool chick. Really open-minded and filled with extremely vibrant personality. I got along well with her, and spent a lot of time with her over the past month. We were really close. Thinking about it, I could safely say, as pathetic as it might have been, other than Kenny, she was the only other friend I have made since coming to University.
"Nothing." I said glumly.
"That's not a nothing voice...that's it...no excuses, you're coming over."
"I..can't..really." I had too much shit to think about. Kenny.
"No excuses. I'm hanging up. See you in five."
"But...but..." But all I heard was the dial tone. Shit.
But, at least I could get out of the room, in case, Kenny came in. What would I say if Kenny asked me about the picture? "Oh hey, ya, Kenny, so I drew a picture of you, without you knowing, like I'm a freaking stalker or something, NAKED at that. How did I "imagine" those parts you say? Oh, it came easy! I think about it all the time, cuz, you know, that's what any ol' straight Joe would do when his best friend was sleeping." RI-I- GHT!
Going over to Hannah's seemed more and more appealing. I wouldn't have to deal with Kenny, not yet anyway. I had stayed overnight at Hannah's place once (she had a single room with a futon) while working on an assignment. I was sure she wouldn't mind tonight. I just had to get away. So, I packed a few essentials, took out a paper and wrote Kenny a note:
Hey,
Not gonna be home tonight. I'm at Hannah's. See ya later.
Galen.
I knew I was running away from the problem and that I would inevitably have to deal with it, but I didn't care. To hell with it. With that thought, I left for Hannah's.
At Hannah's, we sat and just lazed around. She kept giving me these looks every so often, because I still had not brought up why it was my eyes looked so puffy when I came in. She knew something was wrong, but she also knew not to push me. Smart girl, and beautiful too. She was doing her major in Biochemistry and a minor in Arts. I'm sure if I was straight, I would be all over her. I had to take a piss real bad and excused myself to the washroom. When I came back she was hanging up the phone, and had a silly ass grin on her face.
"I know just what you need," she exclaimed. Uh oh. I was already suspicious.
"Wha..?"
"Stop talking like you got no brain cells, and say that you will hit the local bar with us tonight."
"Bar..what? It's only 2 in the afternoon!"
"I know, I meant tonight. This friend of mine invited me to go and I really don't wanna go alone, I think he might want to get with me.......so," she took a big breath after and continued, "that is why you have to come, not cuz you want to, but it is your civil duty to me. There."
I tried to object. I didn't drink. But, then, I knew I couldn't just sit around alone in her room while she left and going home meant Kenny. With that thought, getting drunk suddenly seemed quite appealing.
"Fine." I drudgingly agreed.
"Great, and oh, he's bringing a couple of his friends over too. They're in Art, so I'm sure you will get along fine." She grinned.
I pouted. She had tricked me. "I thought I HAD to go to protect you....you never said there were more people?"
"Oh," she feigned innocence "did I forgot to mention that? Silly me. Ah well."
Before we knew it, it was 10 pm and we were getting ready to hit the bar. I really was in no mood, and felt that going to a bar on a Thursday was not what I should be doing to pass first year. With my guilt weighing me down, I reluctantly got in the cab with Hannah and we made our way to the bar. I had already made up my mind. I was not going to have fun. I was going to get piss drunk and hopefully, this time, the Alcohol Poisoning would be severe enough. I know, morbid, but I was just too depressed.
The bar was pretty wild, being so early and all, but I then guessed that it was all students. Slackers. Then the thought hit me. This was a bar that Kenny was a regular at. I prayed he wouldn't show up today.
"Oh, there they are." Hannah broke me out of my thought as we slowly made our way over to the bar where they all sat.
"Hey guys." Hannah chirped and they turned around and my mouth fell.
There was Thane, sitting on one of the stools, looking handsome as ever.
"Hey Hannah, you brought a friend, great, introduce please." replied a red-head. I recognized her from my Still Life class. She was the one who was flirting with Thane. I now put two and two together. They were probably going out and that's why they were together now at this bar. Can my life get any worse?
"Hey Galen." said Thane.
"You know him?" inquired Hannah, obviously left out of the loop.
"Ya, he's in our Still Life class." Thane replied.
"Yaa...," exclaimed the red-head, "I thought I recognized your face. Nice to meet you. I'm Gina." I was hoping her name was Candy or something.
Soon introductions went around and we ordered drinks. I opted for a cooler, just to get the night started and took a stool at a corner of the bar. I tried looking for Hannah but she was nowhere to be seen. I think she left with one of the guys. It was still early. Damn!
I was making cool patterns with the water droplets that condensed from my drink onto the table when a tap interrupted me.
"Hey." It was Thane.
"Hi." I always seemed to be at a loss for words around this guy.
"Not very talkative are you?" He smiled his trademark smile. I couldn't help but reciprocate.
"Sorry, how'z it going?" I tried to make a more genuine effort.
"Good, just chillin with friends. I didn't know you knew Hannah. Very cool chick."
"Ya, she is." I think this conversation was more stale than a dead fish.
"So, how're liking Still Life?"
I figured out by now that he was trying really hard to make a conversation. I felt bad for the guy. Just because I was sulking, I had no right to ruin others' moods.
"It's good, but the prof can be anal sometimes. I think she's going through menopause."
He laughed. "Ya, Gina thinks she's a dyke and is unhappy cuz she ain't gettin none."
"Why would she think that?"
"She thought the prof was checking her out one time."
"Really?"
"Ya."
"She should have told the prof that her boyfriend was in the room."
"Huh?"
"You."
"Me?" He was thoroughly confused, it seemed.
"Aren't you two dealing?" I asked.
He laughed like it was the funniest thing I have ever spoken. "No dude, we're just friends, besides Gina's a dyke. I don't got the right `equipment'. What made you think we're dealing?"
"I just saw you two and I guess, you both seemed real close." I commented.
"So, you were watching me?" He asked with a smirk. Uh oh.
"Um...no, no..I didn't mean..." I stammered.
"S'okay. I'm just playing with ya." He laughed again. It was really contagious. I laughed along with him.
The ice was broken.
"Sorry I'm so weird sometimes." I said.
"S'okay. I understand...after all, you are an artiste!" He pronounced the last word in French.
"Huh?" I didn't get his innuendo.
"Y'know, what they say about artists...they're a little bit," and he bobbed his head from side to side and crossed his eyes, while making his mouth into an `o', "coookoo...you know, eccentric."
"Thanks for the compliment" I said and smiled.
"Ya, you seem like you have a lot of shit going on with you. You got a lot of emotional struggle, it seems."
That was it! Who was this boy and what the hell did he think, going all Freud on me and shit? Not cool. I looked down at my watch and then back at him. "Wow, you only met me for 5 minutes, and you deduced ALL that. Wow!" The sarcasm was dripping from my voice and it was not lost on him.
"Sorry, didn't mean to step on any toes." He had that lost look on him again, the same one he had when I shut him down in Still Life class.
If I was like this around more and more people, it was no wonder, I hadn't made any friends. "Whatever, man...s'okay." I smiled.
He looked at me for a second as if to see if I was real and then smiled as well. I was in heaven.
"Hey, look, I know I came on too strong...how about I make it up to you? Wanna go for lunch tomorrow? My treat." The smile again. I could definitely get used to this.
"Nah....that's ok. We're students...we all struggle."
"No worries, I'm on a meal plan. Besides, I think I will have too much money left over at the end anyways. So, it's ok."
I may be dim sometimes, even slow, but I was not going to turn down an opportunity if it hit me this hard in the face. "Sure. I'm staying at Hannah's tonight, so call her place tomorrow to let me know when and where."
His face was blank. "So, you and Hannah...?"
It was my turn to burst out laughing. "Naw man, same deal like you and Gina, except she's not a dyke. We're just real good friends." I'm the homo here, I thought, with contempt.
After that, Thane and I talked and talked. He offered to buy me drinks and wouldn't hear otherwise. I learnt a lot about him: He was in second year and was majoring in Art as well, with a double major in History. He came from a city close by. He was Greek, I finally verified. He really was cool. I was falling more and more for him as time passed and more and more alcohol was entering my already feeble mind. I had to look for Hannah. I wanted to go home.
"Excuse me, I have to take a leak." With that I excused myself to the washroom. As I broke the seal, this dude, came up to the urinal beside me and pulled his dick out. I couldn't help but glance. I looked back up at his face. He had a grin. Shit! I had to be more careful. I zipped up fast and got out, squeezing my way through looking for Hannah. She was nowhere to be seen.
Suddenly, someone pulled me by the arm. I kind of toppled into him. I looked up, confused. There was Thane. "Hey man, you ok?" he asked.
"Umm...ok...I guess...ok...um...you seen Hannah? I wanna go home." Ya, I was definitely wasted.
Thane chuckled, "Um...she came by looking for you and I said I could take you home, since I think she wanted to go over to that dude's place tonight anyway...that ok?"
Shit. I didn't wanna go back to Rez and face Kenny, especially not like this. I was plastered. He hated me drinking.
I think Thane saw the panic in my face, "Hey, you could crash at my place too if it is too late to go back to your Rez, I know how anal roommates can be."
"You don't live on Rez?" I tried to concentrate on the situation and on standing up straight but I soon realized I was leaning a bit into Thane. Shit, but to hell with it. I was too piss drunk to care.
"Naw man, I got my own apartment. You could crash on the couch. No roommates." He saw my hesitation. "I promise not to get freaky-deaky with your ass."
I looked up, shocked. He was smirking again. Dude was playing with me. I laughed. I guess I didn't have much choice. "Ya, sure, let's go."
Author's note (again!): Till next time. Please write to me with any comments on the progression of the story. Any criticisms? wereallmadhere@hotmail.com