Author's Note:
Hello again!
Write to me if you like my story. It will let me know that people are actually reading it. Criticisms, comments, anything...all are welcome. Email: wereallmadhere@hotmail.com
THANK YOU to those who have written in to me. Your interest is what makes me continue on with writing the story.
THANKS AGAIN TO JAY ALEXANDER, MY EDITOR, FOR HIS AMAZING WORK AND ENCOURAGEMENT.
Ok, so if you are under age or it is illegal for you to be reading such "filth", please leave. This material contains crude language (gosh!), and homosexuality (oh my!), so if you are offended, then, yes....goodbye!
This story is purely fictional. So, any similarity to anyone or anything is purely coincidental. If you want to put this story somewhere else, distribute it, whatever, please ask me first. Thanks!
On with the show...
CHAPTER 6
My phone rang me out of my self-loathing. "Hello?" I whispered, afraid that if I spoke louder, my voice would come out as a sob.
"Babe, what's wrong?" It was Thane.
"Um...," I took a deep breath, "Thane, please come and take me to your apartment. Please?" I begged him.
"Ya, sure, I'll be right there. Bye." Thane hung up.
I packed my bags, my books, and I was ready. I couldn't be here, with Kenny's belongings, in this room, alone, for a whole week.
We got to Thane's place. I had not said a word since we left my Rez. I know Thane was waiting for me to start, but I didn't know where to begin. I sat down heavily on the couch. I noticed another glass table, identical by the looks of it, had replaced its twin that I'd broken. Freaky.
"So, I see you replaced it with its twin." I chuckled.
"Ya, I like things the way they are, change is not always a welcomed visitor for me." Thane replied solemnly. He was serious.
"I see." Interesting fact about Thane that I'm sure would come in handy some day.
"So, you going to tell me or should we play `Guess'?" Thane asked smiling.
"Kenny's mom has been in a car accident, and she's badly hurt and in ICU back home. Kenny left today to go visit her." I said it monotonously, void of any feeling, as if I was just repeating some slogan.
"Kenny?" Thane asked, confused.
I was literally in shock. Kenny? My best friend! I couldn't believe Thane didn't know Kenny. My boyfriend didn't know about my best friend. A shiver ran down my spine as I realized that I had just REALLY met Thane last night. He didn't know anything about me. He was the one to let me into his personal life yesterday, not me. And I felt so connected to him already. I needed to get a hold on reality.
I looked over at him, trying my best to hide my contempt, "My roommate and best friend of fourteen years. We grew up living next door to each other in the same town and came to the same University. He studies Engineering." Again, this was part of my slogan. My life, a monotonous drone.
"Oh. Don't worry. I'm sure she will be fine." Thane came over and hugged me.
"Want to go for lunch?"
Lunch? What the hell? I don't think Thane realized how important Kenny was in my life, and how important his family was and how devastated I was by this news. I think he thought me to be a drama queen, always blowing things into a pessimistic oblivion.
"No." I replied shortly, "You can go." And I left to stand at the balcony. The city was alive below me. Everyone was busy carrying on with his or her. I was stuck.
Soon, I felt arms encircling my waist, and tender kisses on my neck. I leaned into Thane. He exuded the strength I wished I had at the moment.
"What's really bothering you, Galen?" Thane whispered into my neck, his breath sending goosebumps all along my body.
"Me. I'm bothering me." I laughed. I had gone crazy. Mad. Crazy mad.
"Right" Thane was obviously confused. Join the club, I thought.
I made a decision then. Thane was my vacation, a welcomed change. A way to escape reality, my life, everything, and I was going to use that to my advantage. Fuck the world. Fuck everybody and their shit morality. I was going to indulge in me. For a change.
I turned around to face Thane and pecked him on the lips, "So, what about lunch?"
Thane looked at me quizzically, searching my face. I laughed. "I'm ok! Really. But, I was wondering...can I stay here for the week?"
Now he was surprised. His hands dropped to his side. I couldn't read his expression. Uh oh. Maybe I assumed too much about him, about us.
I tried to recover the situation, "Never mind, I was kidding really."
Thane smiled, "I am glad you asked. I can't think of anything better."
Phew.
I kissed him. His mouth opened to me and my tongue slid in. I explored every inch of his mouth with my tongue while my hands explored his body. I wanted to memorize him, stamp him into my memory. My first gay lover.
His hands came around my waist once again and he pulled me into him. I felt him, his dick, hard, hot, heavy. I touched him through his pants. He moaned into my mouth. I pulled away as if I had touched a burning coal. We stopped. He moved away from me, but our foreheads still touched. We were panting for air.
"You ok?" he asked.
"Ya..a.."
"That's a penis in case you wanted to know." He chuckled. So, he was having fun at my expense. I moved away.
"I guess it's all funny to you...seeing me like this, unsure, naive?" I asked. I couldn't help but keep the sadness from my voice. Things would have been so different if I could have dealt with my homosexuality long ago. I am freaking 18 and this was my first sexual experience. How pathetic is that?
"No...No...Galen, no. I'm sorry. I'm so fucking insensitive sometimes. My mouth works faster than my brain. Forgive me?" He had the audacity to pout.
I laughed. "Ok. But, only if we could continue and...," I looked up at him, making sure he was paying attention, "if we could go at my pace. I don't think I'm ready yet for...EVERYTHING. Ok?"
"Galen, I would never dream of pushing. I want this to last. I'll be ready only if you." He kissed me to reaffirm his motivation. Good enough for me.
It was late in the evening when we roused ourselves from the bedroom. I went to the washroom and almost knocked myself over looking in the mirror. My brown hair was every which way and my pale skin did nothing to hide the bite marks, nor the hickeys adorning my body. I gave myself a lopsided grin. I was so high. We had been making out for a good part of the day. I know it's stupid, juvenile, kiddish, whatever...but, IT WAS GREAT! I WAS HAVING SO MUCH FUN!
The reflection of Thane soon joined mine in the mirror. His tongue ventured out and licked a trail on my neck from my ear to where my shoulder began. I shivered. His presence was so intoxicating. Better than any drug. I never wanted to lose this high.
We looked at each other in the mirror. He was so virile, so handsome. Compared to me, he was a man. I looked like I was caught between childhood and adulthood...ya, the awkward stage. I looked away.
"You are so fucking sexy." Thane's voice came out low and husky. Can he read minds? I looked up and met his green gaze to see if he was kidding. All I saw was lust, pure lust. And it was because of me. I closed my eyes and leaned into him. He smelled so wonderful.
I opened them again and for a split second, the reflection in the mirror was that of Kenny and not Thane. Kenny looking back at me, the saddest expression a man could have, like his dog died or something. I blinked again. Thane was back.
"Hey, you ok?" Thane saw the horrified look on my face.
"I think so." I moved away and went back to the bed, under the covers. I felt horrible. Here I was enjoying myself when I should have been there for Kenny.
Soon, Thane joined me in bed. His movement was that of a wildcat, smooth, calculated and graceful. His muscles flexed as he crawled on all four towards me on the big bed. Thane in only his white boxers, was striking against the deep green bedcovers. I smiled as he lay down beside me, mindlessly strumming his fingers on my chest.
"Want to tell me what's wrong?"
"I'm just thinking about Kenny." The fingers stopped their play. I looked over at him.
"Do you...are you...," he paused as if searching for words, took a deep breath and continued, "what I'm asking is if you and Kenny, you know...do you like him?"
"Wha...?"
"You have fourteen years with him. I can't compete with that. I know I will lose. So, I am just asking, do you like him?"
"No! No! He's just my best friend." I said with conviction. Well...not `just' my best friend.
"Just wondering. You can't seem to get him off your mind, ever since you came, regardless of what I do."So that was it? He was trying to distract me? All of this afternoon was a distraction for him, nothing more?
I got up from the bed and looked around for my clothes. Thane was at once by my side. "What are you doing?"
"Finding my clothes and then leaving." I replied.
"Why? What did I do now?"
"Nothing, absolutely nothing, and that's the problem."
"Fuck, Galen. I am so sick of this. I can't seem to do anything right by you. You shut yourself up. I revealed so much of myself to you and I know nothing about you. Yet, you get upset if I do the wrong thing. How the fuck am I supposed to know what the right thing is if I don't even know you?" He let it all out in one breath, exasperation clearly evident.
I was at a loss for words. He was right. Fuck! Thane had been nice enough to let me into his home, invited me to stay for a week, was patient with me and yet, I demanded more and more from him. I wanted him to be perfect. I needed him to be my pillar of strength in my life and that wasn't fair to him. "I'm sorry." I could barely get the words out of my mouth. It was so hard for me to accept my faults.
"It's ok."
"You're letting me off the hook that easily?"
"Don't worry...I'll make you pay later on, but right now I'm famished. How about dinner?"
We had skipped lunch...we were a little...busy, shall we say and I was hungry as hell, too. "Ya, that would be great."
"Good, you like Chinese?"
"Who doesn't?"
"I know this great place. Hop in the shower and I'm giving you an hour to get ready, you being a drama queen and all. No longer," he smirked.
"Fuck off. I just have `mood swings'. Too much shit...," I looked at him, hoping he would believe me, "but I promise to be more stable from now on."
"Ah...if only." He shrugged and went off to get ready.
We were at the restaurant. It was very elegant. The decorations were all in deep, blood red with gold. Quite exotic. We had our own booth that was secluded from the rest. I hoped people around us saw us as two business colleagues eating out, and nothing more. The food was great. He even taught me how to use chopsticks.
"You are so refined," I commented.
"The chopsticks you mean? Actually, it's the opposite in oriental culture. Way back when, only the poor used chopsticks that they cut from bamboo, the lower class. Now, it's all the craze."
"Goes to show you, things change constantly. In the blink of an eye, we, the gay population could be the `norm' and the straight would have to hide in the closet." I laughed at my own analogy.
"Don't mock it. It just might happen," he said.
"Ah...if only."
"You mocking me, Mr. Walsh?"
We both laughed. It was so easy being with Thane. He was so sure about himself, his life, his identity. He was so mature, being 21 and all. It made me envious, yet also, determined to change, be more like him.