Author's note:
Here I am again. Thanks to those who emailed.
Email me if you like my story. Gives me motivation. My email is: wereallmadhere@hotmail.com
Again, to Jay Alexander (my editor), thanks for all the help and encouragement. Especially with this chapter.
If you are under age or it is illegal for you to be reading such "filth", please leave. This material contains crude language (gosh!), and homosexuality (oh my!), so if you are offended, then, yes....goodbye!
This story is purely fictional. So, any similarity to anyone or anything is purely coincidental.
All righty then...moving along...
CHAPTER 7
We were at the restaurant. It was very elegant. The decorations were all in deep, blood red with gold. Quite exotic. We had our own booth that was secluded from the rest. I hoped people around us saw us as two business colleagues eating out, and nothing more.
The food was great. He even taught me how to use chopsticks.
"You are so refined," I commented.
"The chopsticks you mean? Actually, it's the opposite in oriental culture. Way back when, only the poor used chopsticks that they cut from bamboo, the lower class. Now, it's all the craze."
"Goes to show you, things change constantly. In the blink of an eye, we, the gay population could be the 'norm' and the straight would have to hide in the closet." I laughed at my own analogy.
"Don't mock it. It just might happen," he said.
"Ah...if only."
"You mocking me, Mr. Walsh?"
We both laughed. It was so easy being with Thane. He was so sure about himself, his life, his identity. He was so mature, being 21 and all. It made me envious, yet also, determined to change, be more like him.
The weekend went by in a blur. We were in bed most of the time, but I still had many shortcomings. Thane tried to suck me off once and I froze like a deer caught in a headlight, and that was the end of that. He was patient with me, but I felt that the patience might be wearing thin. I tried to make a conscious effort to be more open, but it was hard.
Monday came and during the week, school took up a good part of the days. I checked my messages, but no news from Kenny. I felt guilty for not being there for him and as days went by and we were nearing the end of the week, I felt more and more agitated and angry, rather than guilty. There was still no news from Kenny. What the hell? He didn't think I would care to know how Mama Brien was doing? It's one thing to be mad, and then another to maliciously hurt me, and that's what he was doing. So Kenny, so juvenile, so unlike Thane.
I came back to Thane's apartment on that Thursday evening (he had given me a key). He wasn't home yet. I felt like doing something for him to show my gratitude. I went grocery shopping, cleaned up the apartment (and made sure everything was in its right order..Thane was anal about that) and prepared a meal for him that would blow his mind (hopefully) and then I had one final surprise for him, but that was for the end, the grand finale.
I had just finished setting the table when I heard the key turning in the lock. Thane was home. I was so nervous. I hoped he liked my surprise. When he rounded the corner and saw the table and me, he just dropped his schoolbag to the floor and stared.
"Surprise?" He was not responding.
"Thane," I tried again.
"You...you did all this for me?" He asked, amazed.
"Do you like it?" I saw him approaching me.
"Like it, I...I love it!" He took my head in his hands and kissed me. "Thank you."
"Ok, well, freshen up and we'll start then." And with that I pushed him towards our, I mean, his bedroom.
The dinner was fantastic. He kept praising and praising me until I told him to shut the hell up and just enjoy. We got to know more about each other, but I must admit, he again did more of the revealing. Whenever anything got remotely too serious about me, I veered off topic. After the third time, he got the hint and just stayed off the topic of "Galen Walsh" for good.
We drank wine on the balcony, and it was bittersweet. We were in our own paradise and we knew it wouldn't last long, reality would inevitable come knocking to be let in.
"Thane, I want to thank you for everything, and I mean everything."
He came to me and put his finger on my lips, "Shh...there are no formalities between us."
Fuck the formalities.
I sucked his finger in, and replaying the first night at his apartment, I rolled my tongue around as he had done for me. I looked up at him.
He was smiling. "Returning the favour?"
"And much more." With that, I led him into the bedroom and sat down on the bed while he stood in front of me, waiting. Letting me take the initiative. I was ready and I slowly started to disrobe him. It was such a pleasure, like unwrapping a gift, as more and more of Thane was exposed to me. I kissed each discovery and with a final tug, Thane was there. Standing in front of me, naked, strong and, oh so beautiful. Damn straight (pun intended)!
His dick was at attention, the head red, throbbing and dripping, letting me know that was his identity, he was a man, my man. I looked up at him. He had a look of wonder and pure lust in his eyes, daring me, yet not believing that I would.that I could.
I proved him wrong.
"Shiiiiiiiiittttttttt...." He screamed as my mouth engulfed him. "Oh Galen, ohhh fuck!!!!!!"
I sucked him like my life depended on it. I couldn't get him all in, hell, it was my first time, first time sucking, sucking cock. Cocksucker. I realized with a thundering finality: I, Galen Walsh, a Catholic, was a cocksucker.
I stopped.
"Galen, you ok? Babe?" Thane asked, stroking my hair.
"This one is for you, Daddy dearest," I thought, and delved in. He tasted so sweet, so pure. I couldn't fathom what was so disgusting about it. I sucked and sucked as tears ran down my face. I didn't care. I was sucking a cock, and I loved it. There was no turning back, not now, not when I felt Thane expand in my mouth. He was going to climax.
"Galen, I am going to explode. Galen!" I know why he said it, to give me a chance to stop. Fuck that, there was no way I was just going to taste a tiny morsel of the forbidden fruit, I was going to eat the whole fucking thing, and enjoy it.
I closed my mouth around him as tightly as I could. His cock pulsed in sync with my heartbeat. It was so intimate. We were connected. He exploded and I felt the juice, his juice, fill my mouth, some dripping down my chin. Thane was too exhausted. He slumped to the floor and I was left to face the mirror opposite me on the wall. There was this boy/man with brown disheveled hair, freckles on his face and haunting hazel eyes, so much sorrow, so much pain, staring back at me. Cum dripping down his chin. Tears streaming down his face. He was lost. I couldn't find him, even if I tried.
Thane came beside me, planting feather kisses all over my face and then finally licking the cum off my chin. "Thank you. I know how hard it was for you."
"Nah, piece of cake, and delicious at that." I smiled at him and looked down at the floor. I didn't know what I was supposed to be feeling right then.
He kissed me again. "So, you liked it, huh?"
I nodded, feeling paralyzed, but not even really comprehending anything of what he was saying. My hand, as if with a mind of it's own, went to my face to wipe the tears that continued to fall. I didn't even noticed, until my hand came away wet.
"Galen, please, stop it. Please. Talk to me. You are crying. Please!" He begged. Tears welled up in his eyes.
"What's wrong Thane?"
"You. You are crying!"
"Oh." I touched my face again.
"That's it? Oh? Why are you crying?!"
I shrugged my shoulder. "I don't know."
"You don't know or you don't want to tell me?"
"Wha...?"
Thane burst then; ignited by frustration I am sure, "Dammit! Stop it! Stop closing up. I see you hurting and I try to help, but you get defensive, and then I decide to give you space and you hurt alone. I don't know why you hurt and I don't know how to help you - all I know is that you hurt, and that you won't let me in. Why? Do you not trust me?"
"It's not that easy Thane. You had balls, or whatever it took. You stood up to your father. You took your identity in your own hands. I can't. You are the only one in this whole fucking world who knows I am gay. I cannot. I will NOT be able to parade around with a fucking rainbow flag just `cause you want that of me. I'm sorry. I can't!" I was panting. I was so drained. All of a sudden, I was tired, tired of everything, my life, the whole charade, everything.
"I am a cocksucker." I whispered.
"Yes, you are. And there is nothing wrong with that. Did you not enjoy it? Why is it wrong then?" He asked, vehemently.
"If a murderer finds pleasure in his kill..." I couldn't finish. Even as it left my mouth, those words sounded so vile, so wrong. I was so ashamed. "I'm sorry Thane.I didn't mean."
"Galen," Thane took my chin in his strong fingers and forced me to turn to him, "I am not asking you to shout it from the rooftops. Just, talk to me. Tell me what is bothering you. You can trust me. You can even trust Hannah. She knows about me, did you know that? And about Gina. She's totally cool. She's so supportive. Just trust her. Tell Hannah. See the weight lift off your chest. Just take a chance. The rest will be easier, first step is the hardest."
"Thane, I cannot. You don't know me. My father.hell, I have five siblings `cause my parents don't believe in birth control. And abortion? Forget that. Did you know that my older sister, Catrina, got an abortion when she was only sixteen? There was no way she could have a baby out of wedlock, so she had an abortion. No one was to know but Kenny found out, being part of the popular crew back in highschool and therefore knowing all the gossip. Cat couldn't even tell my parents. After that, she changed. She would scream in the middle of the night. I know she had nightmares. She has been on anti-depressants now for four years. I couldn't even go to her and tell her how sorry I was. We're not like that. Everything is hush-hush. So, imagine me being gay. I can't. I can't!" I was crying again.
Why can I not go one day without the fucking waterworks? I was such a sissy. Ever since I was little, my dad and mom preached to us about the "ways of the lord and how to be a good Catholic" and one of the biggest NO-NO was homosexuality. My dad fucking thinks homos should be burnt at the cross and redeemed for their sins. And I was to come out to them? RIGHT!
Thane sighed. I could feel his hopelessness, his frustration, but his was a mere fraction of what I had to live with all my life. I kissed him. I understood. He couldn't take my pain away. Only I could do that and I hadn't the slightest clue how.
"Thane, I need to leave tomorrow morning."
"What? Where are you going?"
"Back home. I have to go see how Kenny's mom is doing. Otherwise, I can't live with myself. She was more a mother to me than my own. Sorry."
"That's ok.I understand. When will you be back?"
"Sunday night."
"I guess then today is it?"
"Ya..Thane, I want you to know, regardless of all this, there were times when you helped me escape, when I was able to be me. And you don't know how much I cherish that. I hope you can still be patient with me."
"You're not getting rid of me that fast! Now.for a matter of settling the scores.," Thane smirked as his hands worked their way into undoing the buttons of my shirt. He took one of my nipples into his mouth and bit into it. Fuck! I was instantly hard. I moaned as he started suckling on the nipple. Then, my pants soon followed as well as the rest of my clothing. I was so nervous. I thought I would burst right then and there.
Thane kissed me all over my body. Not a single bit of flesh remained untouched by his lips. Finally, when I couldn't take it anymore and I was writhing on the bed, I felt it. His hot lips surrounding my cock. I fucking shot my load right then and there.
"Ooooooooohhhhhhhh fuckkkkkkkkk...." That was me.
His tongue did things to my cock that I thought were not humanly possible. I swear to fucking God, I saw the stars, the moon, the galaxy, fucking everything. My fingers gripped the bed sheets so hard, I felt as if at any moment my fingers would snap. I would snap.
Just when I thought I couldn't bear any more, Thane stopped. I begged and moaned for him to cover me again. I felt so empty and hollow, like at the edge of a cliff and just made to dangle there. I wanted him to push me, push me over the fucking edge..so that I could fly, so that I could soar.
"Thane...Thaneeeeeeeee.please!" I begged. Then I felt him lick my head again and blow air on it. I shivered all the way down to my toes. This was torture. Time stopped.
My heartbeat thundered in my ears.
Finally...he took me into his mouth again.
SHIT!
My back arched off the bed, and I came, again and again, until there was nothing left of me to give, and nothing left for him to take.
I fell with a loud thud, back onto the bed. My life drained out of me. That was motherfucking INTENSE. I can't even wholly describe it.
And I did that for Thane earlier? I made him feel like that? Wow. If we could make each other reach such heights of pleasure, how can it be wrong? How could God create us with these abilities and want to hinder them? It's like creating an eagle with wings and forbidding it to fly.
I could wrestle the demons of my inner-self all night long. And then some. It was futile. I curled into Thane and went to sleep, making sure that I drifted off with the moments of pleasure I felt today etched into my memory.
I felt my cock expanding and responding to the warm wetness it felt. What the hell? I looked down and there was Thane, giving me a blowjob. If only my alarm clock was equipped with such device, I would never sleep in. Damn! Boy knew how to use that pretty little mouth of his. I felt rejuvenated. I was going to see Mama Brien. I was going to support Kenny. I was no longer a virgin and my boyfriend was sucking me as we speak. Can life get any better?
Damn straight it can! And that is when I exploded. Well then...
I got up and tackled Thane. I felt so much for this dude. I couldn't express it yet. I kissed him. Ewww. Morning breath. He saw me scrunch up my face and laughed.
"Ok..ok.we'll go brush our teeth, but you better get your ass moving. Your train leaves in two hours. Hurry!" And with that he slapped my ass and ran for the washroom.
An hour later, we were cruising in his Porsche 9-11 (I will never get tired of riding in it) and trying to get to the train station on time. We were going 20 klicks over limit. Fuck, we were late. You see, we were somewhat "detained" back at his apartment. Come on...I had to return the favour...and then he returned my favour again....and then, I returned it again....aw hell, we were late!
At the train station, after I loaded my bags I came down and felt the iron weight back on my shoulder. I think I'm bipolar. I change from up to down so fast, it would make anyone's head spin. Now I was so depressed. Going back to my hometown meant facing my parents, facing Kenny, Mama Brien lying there in that hospital bed. I never did like hospitals. I sighed.
"Babe, I'll see you on Monday. Hang in there." Thane whispered to me, forcing a smile on his face.
I knew how he felt. I didn't want to leave him. It was so wonderful, the whole week. We had our up and downs and the downs were pretty dramatic, but he never gave up on me. I knew my shell was starting to crack, and it was because of him.
"Thank you." I couldn't say what I really felt inside. I don't think he was ready for that yet. I don't think I was ready yet.
"Bring me a souvenir." Thane chuckled.
"I will, bye." I hugged him. And I left, back into the train. I watched him from the window. He stood until the train started to move. It was so classic Hollywood. I wished I was wearing a scarf that I could throw at him as the train started moving. At that thought, I laughed. The man sitting across from me looked at me funny. "Fuck you, and your toupee too," I thought.
As Thane became nothing more than a dot amongst the blur, I turned and sighed. I was ready. I was going home, a changed man. I was not the Galen that left to come to University, nor the one that Kenny left that dismal Friday. I wondered if anyone would notice.