AUTHOR'S NOTE (sorry it's kinda long, but please bear with me):
IMPORTANT!!!
Errr..well, I had been getting some junk mail from some yahoo and aol addresses, so, being the dumbass that I am, I blocked all emails ending with @yahoo.com and @aol.com and in the process, even blocked my own editor. Don't ask. It was him, brilliant man that he is, who suggested that the reason I was not getting his mails might be because I blocked the address. Well, that was the case.
SO...I am extremely sorry for my stupidity. I could, along with you all, see the neon flashing sign above my head, "Blithering Idiot". Please don't think that I purposely did not respond to your email if you sent it to me. I didn't get it. I respond to each and every email, however long or short.
Write to me again. I promise I won't fuck up this time. I have unblocked those email addys.
My email: wereallmadhere@hotmail.com
I love to hear from you, makes me continue on with the story.
If you are under age or it is illegal for you to be reading such "filth", please leave. This material contains crude language (gosh!), and homosexuality (oh my!), so if you are offended, then, yes....goodbye!
This story is purely fictional. So, any similarity to anyone or anything is purely coincidental. If you want to put this story somewhere else, distribute it, whatever, please ask me first. Thanks!
Finally, THANK YOU Jay Alexander, my amazing editor and brain. Thanks for editing, for encouraging, for setting so many things straight (email confusion), and finally for making me laugh out loud. THANK YOU!!
So, everyone, just chilax and enjoy this chapter....
CHAPTER 8
As Thane became nothing more than a dot amongst the blur, I turned and sighed. I was ready. I was going home, a changed man. I was not the Galen that left to come to University, nor the one that Kenny left that dismal Friday. I wondered if anyone would notice.
I slept during most of the train ride, not surprising,, considering I didn't get much sleep last night. When my stop was announced, all I felt was foreboding. When I got off the train, I took a cab within half an hour, I was staring at my childhood home. My parents' home. Hm. nothing has changed. Same neatly kept garden, same bright flowers and the same picket fence, freshly painted white. I had to paint that goddamned bitch in the summer.
"Galen? What are you doing home?" That was my mother. She probably heard the cab pull up, and being as nosy as she is, had to investigate.
"Hey Ma, how are you?"
"Why did you leave University? Are you ok? Are you failing?"
"No, Ma" Now, mind you, I was having this conversation while still standing in the driveway, my luggage around me. Mom, don't you want to invite me in? Hug me? Say you are happy to see me?
I sighed. The story of my life. Oh well. It could be worse. I could have leprosy. With that thought, and a quick "thanks" to God, I dragged my entire luggage up the steps to the house. I saw my brother standing at the front window. Thanks for helping, Owen. Bastard!
No sooner had I entered then I was wrapped in a hug. "Galen, you're home! What did you bring me?" Liam, my 9-year-old brother, and the youngest of my siblings, asked.
"Um...I brought you me." I smiled, opening my hands and expecting a hug. Ya Right!
"No fair." With that, he left. Well then....I love you too.
"Hey Squirt." I turned to the voice of my brother, Owen. He is three years older than I am, making him 21 now and STILL living with my folks. He works at a local hardware store, and is 'saving up' to go to College. To my dad, it was "commendable", unlike student loans (meaning - me). I knew he didn't save a cent. All was wasted on booze and drugs.
"How's your work going?" I asked him.
"Good, good, took a day off today. So, why are you home?"
"I heard about Kenny's mom, came to see her."
"You came to see Kenny's mom?! Ma!" Owen screamed like he was 2 years old.
"What, why are you shouting?" Mom came bustling into the living room. I hadn't yet finished organizing my luggage and already all this bullshit. I was so prepared to go back to University, to Thane.
"Ma, did you know that Galen only returned because Kenny's mom is in the hospital?" Owen smirked. I wanted to punch his fucking smug face in. Ever since we were little, he loved abusing me, physically and mentally. He hated the fact that he knew I was going to upstage him, outdo him, and make something of my life.
"What? Why would you waste good money for that? You can't help her. Only the Lord can. Goodness."
"Ma, she's your friend too. Kenny's upset ok? I came to see if he was ok."
"Do what you want, you will anyway, now that you've moved out of the house. If I ever fall sick, I know I'll never see your face... and I bear you into this world...and..." and I drowned her out. There really was no point listening to her. Really.
After Ma had left, I turned to see Owen smirking at me. "Now what?" I asked.
"You're homo for him aren't you? You're homo for Kenny." And he laughed and laughed to amuse his own, idiotic self.
"Fuck off," I was in no mood for this. I dragged all my stuff to our room and got ready to leave for the hospital. I dreaded having to share a room with Owen again. It brought back bitter childhood memories. Brothers! Fuck!
I sat down heavily on the bed. I wondered if anyone had as fucked-up a family as mine. Then I thought of Thane. But, at least, he was able to stand up to them. I couldn't. In some masochistic way, I still needed them. I still harboured hope that they would accept me in the end, no matter what, because we are blood. Not likely.
My eldest brother Aidan was pretty much disowned by the family. It was Christmas. I was 14 then and Aidan was 19. At the time, he was going to the local community college on a full sports scholarship. He said that he was going to be bringing home someone 'special'. My mother was ecstatic. She prepared so much food, cleaned the house until it was spotless, everything was perfect. Aidan was the star of the family. He was the eldest, and according to my mother, a lady-killer with his devilish good looks. He was my parents' pride and joy. I know the rest of us lived in his shadow, especially us boys, we wanted to be everything he was. I admired him so much and still do. Pity I am not in contact with him now. Kenny and his family even came over for the dinner. My mother wanted everyone to see Aidan's girlfriend. The bell rang and we all rushed into the hallway. My mother could hardly contain her excitement; her face was so vibrant. I envied Aidan then.
My dad opened the door and I heard a slight gasp escape from my mother's lips. Aidan had brought home a black. I thought she was so pretty. My little brother Liam, being only 5 at the time, yelled, "Mommy, she's a nigger." I saw Aidan's face fall. He was so ashamed.
He slapped Liam then, "Don't you ever use that language." Liam started crying. Everything was chaotic. My mother was running around, trying to quiet Liam down. He didn't know what he did wrong, he had, like the rest of us, heard my parents use such filth. My dad was rooted to the spot, unable to invite her in. I felt helpless. Owen stood there with a smirk. He was the next in line. Since Aidan had fallen from `grace', he was next.
Mama Brien just introduced herself first to her, "Hello, I'm Mrs. O'Brien, but, please, call me Maria. We're the next-door neighbors, nice to meet you...?"
The woman, who had been in shock up until then, got some of her composure back, and smiled the prettiest smile ever, "Ana, nice to meet you too." I could tell why Aidan was attracted to her.
After that, the ice broke, but I knew Ana held our family in contempt. She was distant, superficially nice to us. Aidan was distant too. After she left, I knew my parents had a talk with him. Kenny was upstairs with me in our room, Owen's and mine. Owen, Kenny and I all held our breath as we heard my dad yelling, and Aidan yelling back, then my mother crying and then Aidan leaving, with the last slam of the door. He never came back. At the time, I didn't know that.
"That was harsh dude. Poor Aidan." Kenny commented.
"He deserved it, he knew they wouldn't agree." Owen remarked.
"Fuck you Owen. They are in love. There's nothing wrong with that." I was outraged.
"No, fuck you. Galen, just remember, you will be disowned too if you turn all faggot. Gay.gay.Gaylen. Remember that, squirt." I hated it when he called me that. Squirt. It was not as a term of endearment, it was meant to demean me, letting me know that I was inferior to him. And his stupid little rhyme? He got that started in our school. After that, all his stupid goonies would call me that. But, once Kenny and his crew "spoke" to them one day, no one else bothered me.
Kenny punched Owen then. A fight broke out. I wasn't allowed to see Kenny for a whole month. No one mentioned Aidan in our house after that. One time, my younger sister Fiona asked Owen about him and Owen told our parents. My dad gave her hell for it. After that, she didn't dare. It was like he was forgotten. Gone. Erased. Kenny told me that he heard through the grapevine that Aidan had transferred to another college in another town and they were married.
I resented Aidan though. I didn't disown him, nor did Cat, Fiona, or Liam. He left us. He left us all. So, if he didn't have the strength to stick around, the invincible Aidan, my epiphany of perfection, how would I?
I couldn't deal with the demons of my past now. I wanted to be out of the house before my father came. I didn't need his interrogation. I got ready to go to the hospital. My thoughts, though, were interrupted by my name being called.
"Galen? Galen!" My younger sister Fiona burst into the room. She is fifteen and my favourite sibling. We got along well. She was the only family member who I ever spoke to on the phone from University. She hugged me and there were tears in her eyes. "I'm so glad you're home."
"Me too Elfi, me too." I returned the hug. It felt so good to finally feel welcomed into my own home. "So, how are you?"
"School totally sucks, dad's...well, you know, dad. Owen is a total bastard bitch. It's like soooo boring here. Life pretty much is like, shit. Cat's not any better still. That's the 4-1- 1. Hey, did you hear about Mrs. O'Brien? Kenny's home." She was smiling. Freaky child. She had the maddest crush on Kenny. She was madly jonesing on him. I couldn't blame her.
I gave her a noogie. "I heard...but he's here to visit his mom, not you!"
"I am like, so over Kenny, ok?" She persisted.
"Uh huh. And pigs fly. So, how is Mama Brien?"
"Good, she's gotten better. We went to like see her yesterday. Mom and I. She was so happy, knowing that Kenny was here. Wait, why are YOU here?"
"To see Mama Brien. Fucking Owen told mom and she freaked out on me."
"Expected. I swear, like one day, I am so going to sell him out. I totally see him drunk and blitzed out of his mind. Do you know how embarrassing it is? Everyone in school calls him a pervert. He hits on my friends, Galen! Ewwwwwww."
I laughed. "What can you do? I missed you, Elfi. Come down to visit one time. There's plenty of hot guys at University." Shit. It was too late. Fiona was giving me this puzzled look. I blushed. Damn.
She shook her head, and chucked, "Totally." Gotta love her. Phew.
"Look, we will catch up on everything this weekend. I'm here until Sunday, but now I want to go over to the hospital and see her. Okay?"
"Galen, like, I don't think you should leave before seeing Dad. He will totally take it the wrong way and flip. You know?" She looked panicked.
"I guess...ok...when will he be home?"
"In an hour. He's at work. Cat should get back from work then too. You could like see the family."
"Ya...our great family." I remarked.
She smiled a bittersweet smile and shrugged. "I'm going to help Ma with dinner. See you Galen."
I took the opportunity to jump in the shower and get dressed. I felt like I was meeting the Great Death himself. Dad was very dominating. Everything of his needed to be presentable at all times, and that included first and foremost, his family. I had butterflies in my stomach.
"Galen's home." I heard my mother's voice downstairs, talking to my father. He was home. Shit. Now or never. I took a deep breath and descended the stairs.
"Hello, sir." He looked as stern as ever. I don't ever recall him hugging me, or encouraging me in anything. Every word out of his mouth was a word of contempt. Nothing was good enough for him. After Aidan left, he took a turn for the worse. He became more demanding and harsher on all us kids, but me in particular.
"How is that course of yours...what is it?" He knew perfectly well I was in Arts.
"Art...good... I'm doing well."
"Right. I wanted to forget that name. So, why are you home? I can't give you any money. I need to run a household here."
"No sir, I just came to see you guys and see how Mrs. O'Brien was doing." I could never refer to Mrs. O'Brien as Mama Brien in front of him. He hated sentimentality. Thought it was, you guessed it, sissy. He slapped me once telling me it was disrespectful to my mother, treating Mama Brien like I was her son. That was the first time I didn't cry. He had looked on, waiting. After a while, he had moved away, not before I saw a smile on his face. I swear, sometimes, I think he is the devil himself.
"She would do fine, with or without you coming to visit her. She already has a son, and you are not it." He smirked and walked away. I hated him. I really did, with every fucking fiber of my being. I couldn't believe his blood ran through my veins. It was enough to make me want to vomit.
Dinner was uneventful. Thank god. Owen said grace. It was so hypocritical. Fiona and I made eye contact and she rolled her eyes. I choked on my laughter.
"Are you amused by something Galen?" my father asked. He was not pleased
"No sir. Sorry, my throat was itching and I had to cough."
"Let us begin then. No point waiting for that girl. I swear, those pills have turned her almost half dead. I never did believe in psychological mumbo jumbo. Right. Depression my ass." He was talking about Cat. She hadn't come home from work yet.
After dinner, I bused it down to the hospital. I didn't dare ask my dad for the car. I went into her room and felt so much pain. Yet, I couldn't cry. She looked so frail, lying there with tubes and machines helping her.
"Galen, baby, is that you?"
I ran to her like I was 8 years old again. "Oh...Mama Brien."
"Shh...I'm so happy to see you. Kenny told me how good you were doing in school."
"Ya...he's doing great too."
"Galen, I know you better than that. Don't lie. He parties doesn't he?" I looked at her. She was smiling so softly, and all I saw in her deep brown eyes was love, love for her son, like it should have been.
"Ya...he's a Chick Magnet, your son." I laughed.
"That's why I'm glad to know you are there with him. You were always his conscience. Sit... tell me everything. How is University?"
"Mama Brien, first, how are you? When will you get out?"
"In another week or so. Stupid drunk driver.but thank the good lord, nothing serious happened. I'm still here. Kenny though will be going back Sunday. I refuse to let him miss another day of school. I know he is using me as an excuse for an early break," she chuckled.
It always amazed me how both of our families were devout Catholic, but how twisted my parents turned the religion, and how sober and kind Catholics the O'Briens were. Every time I lost faith in God, their family always restored it.
"He was so worried about you... I...I don't think I was a good friend to him. I yelled and couldn't utter a single word of support." I bowed my head in shame.
"Galen, baby, I know how much you care for me. You were in shock too. Kenny understands."
I smiled. She always knew how to make me feel better. "I still don't like seeing you like this."
"Trust me, I don't like seeing myself like this."
"Did they catch the bastard?"
"Yes, he was so guilty Galen. He came by to apologize. I know he learnt his lesson. Hopefully, through him, others will too."
"Ya."
"So, tell me everything, anyone special in your life?" She gave me the knowing looks that all mothers seem to possess.
"No. I'm too busy with school." I hoped she believed me. She looked at me for a second, then, I guess, changed her mind.
"You've changed, Galen." I snapped my head up and looked at her. Did she know? How?
"Wha...?"
She laughed, "Don't look so panicked. I meant in a good way. You seem to have matured."
"Oh."
"I hope some of that rubs off on that son of mine. Sometimes...I worry." She was shaking her head.
"Don't, he's going to be great...with a mother like you."
"Why Galen Walsh, if I didn't know any better, I'd think you are trying to charm me. Son, it won't work with me. I have seen you butt naked running through the neighborhood."
I blushed something awful, "Mama Brien!"
"It's true!" She was thoroughly enjoying herself. I was so happy. I thought I would depress her more, with all my problems and all, but she was smiling. It felt good to see her like this.
"Ma! Galen?" My thoughts were interrupted by Kenny's voice.
"Hey bro, how's it going?"
"What are you doing here?"
"Visiting your mom, dofus."
"No, I mean, in town?"
"As I said, visiting your mom, dofus."
"Boys!" That was Mr. O'Brien.
"Hey, Mr. O'Brien. How are you?"
"Good, glad to see you are back. How's school? Is my son making you go mad?"
"Dad, it's the other way around. Galen is the one always bringing home the chicks and dragging me to parties. I always plead with him not to. But, he forces me." He executed that line in a perfectly serious tone. Motherfucker.
"Kenny! You fucking liar!" I looked around. Shit, I swore. "Sorry." Kenny burst out laughing. Dude set me up. I would have to remember that for next time.
I stayed there for a couple of hours and then Kenny insisted on driving me home. I promised to visit Mama Brien tomorrow morning. We stayed out on his front driveway, shooting some hoops. He kicked my ass as usual. His muscles flexed under his shirt, he was so graceful. At the end, he always showed his dribbling skills. It was hype. He made music with it. Thump, thump, thumpety-thump thump, just like his heartbeat, the ball danced along with Kenny's graceful moves. Boy had talent.
Afterwards, we decided to chilax at my place. When we got home, Fiona opened the door for us.
"Hey Kenny." I swear the chick batted her eyelashes. JE-SUS!!!!!!
Kenny, poor clued-out fool that he was, ruffled her hair. Oh no. "Hey Elfi."
"Kenny, I'm like fifteen now. Not ten. It's Fiona." If looks could kill, she would have melted Kenny on the spot.
I spoke, "But, you let me call you that a couple of hours ago." Uh oh. Big Mistake. I'm so evil. Haw-haw.
"Whatever, boys mature like sooooo much later than girls." I am not shitting here - she actually flipped her hair, and exited. It was classic.
Kenny and I looked at each other. I had to suppress a laugh; poor boy was thoroughly confused. Ah, Kenny, poor only-child.
"What? I've always called her that." He said for his defense. I just patted his shoulder and shook my head.
"Young man, how is your mother doing?" We both spun around like a firecracker was set off in our asses. It was my father.
"Fine, sir, fine, she should be able to come home in a week."
"Good, good. How is basketball going? I heard you were making a pretty good name for yourself."
"Good, we just might make it to the championship game. Here's hoping."
"I know you can. You always had the drive that was unfortunately lacking in my son." My father turned to me.
"Nah, he's amazing in his class." Kenny looked at me, and with a smirk on his face, said, "I've...um...seen some of his works. Masterpieces, if I do say so myself." I know I turned into a tomato. Fucker was going to DIE real soon!
"Art is not something to make a future out of. Now, Engineering.how is that going, son?"
I felt a stab of jealousy. My father could care less about how my school was going. He cared more about Kenny's. I knew to expect it. It was a mind-game my dad was playing with me, and he knew he was getting to me.
"Excuse me." I left to go up to my room. I would not tear up in front of my father. On the way, I met up with Cat.
"Cat, hey!"
"Galen! I heard you were home. How are you?"
"Good. Dad is talking to Kenny now." I said with bitterness.
She touched my cheek, "Babe, don't mind him. How is school?"
We went down to her room and talked and got caught up with our lives. I have never seen her so open before. I guess distance does make the heart grow fonder.
"How's...um...the medication working for you?" Our family was never one to talk about problems. I felt awkward.
She smiled, "I'm dopey all the time. I'm a nutcase. It's all good."
"Don't say that. You know I always wanted to tell you how sorry I am for all this."
"My depression? Don't be. I was just too stressed about...school." She looked away.
I couldn't do it anymore. I caught her eye, and held the gaze. "Cat, I know."
She had tears in her eyes. "Oh, Galen, it was a boy. I was gonna have a baby boy!" She was sobbing now. I hugged her. It was the first time in a long, long while. I don't know what made me do it. I wasn't always particularly close to her. She was two years older than me, the closest sibling in age to me, but we never had much in common. I was closer to Fiona. But, I knew I could trust her.
"Cat, I am gay." The room fell silent, as if we were in a vacuum.
Finally, she spoke. "So what?" She had a determined look on her face. I turned to her.
She smiled and kissed my cheek. "Thank you for sharing that. I am so proud of you, Galen."
I was crying now. She held me. I felt so good. Thane was right. Telling someone did lift a huge weight off my chest. But, now a new fear set it, a spark of doubt. What if she told someone?
I guess she felt my trepidation, "Your secret is safe with me, as mine has been with you."
"Thanks, Cat."
"So, do you have a boyfriend?" She was smirking.
"Um..."
"Don't lie! You do. How sweet! What's his name? Is he hot? What am I saying, of course he's hot, he's going out with you! Tell me everything."
I stayed up with her the whole night. Kenny probably went home after talking to my father. My father could scare anyone off. Oh well. Cat and I talked just talked, talking about Thane, Aidan, my life, all my problems: with Kenny, everything. She told me hers too. We helped each other sort through some of them. I never knew she gave such good advice. The next morning, I felt rejuvenated. Life was starting to look up for me.
Author's Endnote:
Thanks again for reading and please write to me. Hopefully, now all the emails will go through. Sorry about that mixup.
wereallmadhere@hotmail.com