Author's note:
Hello there! Well, thank you all for writing in to me...and as I can see with the emails, my "problem" with the blocked addys is solved.
Drop me a line, love hearing from you all: wereallmadhere@hotmail.com
Thank you Jay Alexander for editing this and once again for the encouragement and constant support. Even if we may not agree on who to support in World Cup....
If you are under age or it is illegal for you to be reading such "filth", please leave. This material contains crude language (gosh!), and homosexuality (oh my!), so if you are offended, then, yes....goodbye!
This story is purely fictional. So, any similarity to anyone or anything is purely coincidental. If you want to put this story somewhere else, distribute it, whatever, please ask me first. Thanks!
Oh, I used a song in this part, and I will in later chapters as well. Using the song does not in any way suggest that I asked permission or that the band may or may not support the views of my story. Since I am not getting any financial benefit or otherwise from using the song, I hope that it is ok.
CHAPTER 9
I stayed up with her the whole night. Kenny probably went home after talking to my father. My father could scare anyone off. Oh well. Cat and I just talked, talking about Thane, Aidan, my life, all my problems: with Kenny, everything. She told me hers too. We helped each other sort through some of them. I never knew she gave such good advice. The next morning, I felt rejuvenated. Life was starting to look up for me.
Before I knew it, it was Sunday, which meant it was time to go back to University. Although I was looking forward to escaping my deranged family and seeing Thane, I did feel sad. I had gotten closer to Cat and promised to keep in touch. I was going to miss Liam, Fiona and especially Mama Brien and my hometown. There is something comforting about a person's hometown. The familiarity of everything, there's a sense of belonging that is yet to be established in me living on Rez for two months.
Kenny was going back with me. His mother forbade him to stay any longer. Go figure.
Our train was in the evening and by the time we left, I had just remembered that Thane had asked for a souvenir. I know he wasn't being serious, but I just had to get something. I thought long and hard, like his cock (damn I'm missing Thane), about what to get him and at such a short notice at that. We were at the train station, and there was just a stupid- ass coffee shop. Then I got it. Hell, I was with Kenny. It was too perfect.
"Dude, you up for one of our old tricks?" I asked him with a wink.
"Yesssssss, now we're talking. What's da grand master plan?"
"You look out for any officials and I'll do the rest. Here cover this sign."
As Kenny got into position, I went ahead diligently trying to take the freaking sign off. It was hanging overhead, strung on two chains with hooks. Too easy.
"Deed is done." I proclaimed victoriously. Kenny looked at me and laughed. We checked left and right and with a final nod at each other, took off running like idiots. Life was good. No, correction: I was good. Dang!
We boarded the train. Kenny finally spoke.
"Now tell me again why you wanted the sign?" It was the sign with our hometown's name on it, used when entering the train station. Cheesy, I know. I didn't care. It was mine now.
"I needed to bring back a souvenir for someone."
"Perfect sense."
"Why, thank you. I try." I smiled.
The train started to move. I was going back to University. The only thought running through my head was Thane. Thane. Thane. Thane. Obsessive compulsive? Maybeeee...
"So, who is this someone?"
"A friend, Thane, I met him in my Still Life Class."
Kenny looked at me, shocked. "You made a friend?" He pinched my cheeks like a haggard old aunt or something and in a voice one would use on a puppy or a freaking baby, he said, "Aw, my widdle baby is growing up...leaving the nest...how sad..."
"Fuck you, and your little dog too." I know I have not made that many friends since University started, but I had to laugh, "Kenny, bro, he's not the type of friend you think," I thought.
We were sitting in silence for a while and then I heard Kenny's voice, so softly, I had to concentrate to hear it. "Hey, thanks for coming down. Ma was so happy."
"You know I couldn't not have seen Mama Brien."
"Ya..." He thought for a moment. "She misses you, you know."
"Do you miss me Kenny?" I thought. "Does she?" I asked.
"Ya..."
"Listen Kenny, I am sorry about my bitch attack on you that day back at Rez before you left."
"Hey, don't worry. I know you're secretly a woman inside a man's body." Kenny cracked up at his own stupid self. He had a silly-ass grin on his face, showing off his dimples, and his blue eyes twinkled. My heart missed a beat for a second. Then I recovered; ah, to amuse a simple mind...
"Funny, dude, real funny." I smirked at him.
I was getting sleepy and we had one more hour on the train. I couldn't wait to take a nap on my own bed and not on a freaking sleeping bag on the floor as I had to do for the last two days. Kenny broke into my thoughts.
"So, I hope you made me proud."
"How would I do that?"
"By doing the honours of turning our room into a whorehouse while I was gone, of course."
I looked over at him. Boi only had a one-track mind: SEX!
"I'm sorry to disappoint you Kenneth O'Brien, but I did not."
"Dammit! Galen Walsh, when will being with me rub off on you? Fourteen years? Thirty years? When?" He had a stricken expression on his face, like I had committed the worst crime.
We looked at each other for a second and then both doubled over laughing. People around us were giving us weird looks.
A lady across from us who looked to have a permanent scowl on her face turned to us, "Can you keep it quiet?"
Kenny put his chin between his thumb and index finger, pondering. Then with the worst British accent in history (ever), he turned to her, "Um...let me see. No!"
She had a horrified expression on her face as her right hand clutched at her sagging, left boob, "Why! The nerve!"
That did it. We went into another fit of laughter. It was good to be young. I was so glad to be with Kenny again. I missed this. He was different when he was alone with me. He was the Kenny I knew and loved. But, around those motherfucking Engineers like Paul, he was Mr. Bad-Ass Chick Magnet. Ugh!
We would soon be back at University and he still had not mentioned anything about my drawing, except for that little innuendo directed at my dad. I knew we were both still harbouring it in our minds. I decided to face it head on.
"Hey Kenny, are you sure...," I didn't know how to formulate into words what I wanted to say. I guess I was trying to avoid the topic as much as him but I still gave him a chance to open it up for discussion, "Are you sure we're...you know, cool? You don't want to talk about anything?" I looked at him, nervous as hell. A train was obviously not the right place for this, but hell, I already opened Pandora's box. It was too late.
He looked at me, knowing perfectly well what I was talking about. I knew him for fourteen years. I could read him like a book. "No...no... we're cool. Right?"
Damn, he tossed the ball back in my court. Ah well. I can't say I didn't try. "Nah, I'm cool."
Kenny was notorious for avoiding "problems". He spoke finally, "All right then. Everything is cool." He elbowed me on the arm and smiled. I returned the smile and we went back into the comfortable silence that can only be shared by such close friends.
By the time we got back to Rez, it was around 7 in the evening. We decided that we would grab dinner and then unpack. As soon as we were heading out, Paul came blundering into the room. I didn't like Paul much. He was too intense, always high- strung. He was ok to look at, I guess, but not really my type. Too preppy and way too cocky. Kenny, I could understand why he was cocky, he had a reason to be. Motherfucker was HOT! I am not being biased cuz he's my best friend. But, Paul was nothing compared to Kenny, yet he took it all in stride. He thought girls were giving him attention and he would over-do it with the "charmer" act, but really, they were just putting up with him cuz he was with Kenny. He knew it too, deep down.
"Bro, how's your mom?" He asked as he did some stupid-ass slap handshake with Kenny.
"Good, good, hey did you get my shit for school?"
"Fa shizzie, drop by my place and I'll give you everything. Oh, and don't forget, Tuesday night. We gotta hit the bar. Those girls, remember them...? They asked us to come. We're gonna get some PUSSY!!!!!!!!" He was laughing as he ground his hips back and forth. So uncoordinated, so white...yet, he pretends to be black. Poser! Talk like that to a BLACK BROTHA and we'll see how nice they are to you.
I was bored.
Kenny spoke up, "Nah, as much as I would love to, I gotta get caught up on a whole week's worth of bullshit, you go."
As soon as Kenny said those words, I swear, Paul's face fell. He knew that those girls would only give him the time of day if he was with Kenny. SHOT DOWN! What!
Suddenly, I wasn't bored anymore. I loved this.
I decided to goad him on. "Hey Paul, get any hot chicks while Kenny was away?" He was going to lie, lie, and LIE through his teeth. Watch...
"Um...ya man, I had to beat them off with a stick. This one chick, blonde," he whistled, "man, the tits on that one. Ouch! Hurt me. And, she wanted to come over and..." He kept going on. I looked over at Kenny. He gave me the smirk, and his dimples showed.
"Bro, Paul...Paul...ok, great man. Listen, I'll be down to your room as soon as I get some grubs. Later. Let's go Galen." Kenny practically veered me out of the room.
As soon as we were outside, we both looked at each other, and at the same time, yelled, "BULL-SHIT!" Of course, that got us laughing again.
We started walking towards the food court. Ah, the convenience of living on Rez.
"Dude, man, your friend is whacked. He talks a lot of smack, yo!" I said.
"Nah, he just likes to blow his horn a little. Nice guy otherwise."
"But, there is nothing to blow! That's his problem. Someone should tell him to get off his fucking high horse."
"Galen, if you are so critical about everyone, you'll never make friends. You know, YOU'VE got issues too, major ones, Paul's got his...whatever. Lay off."
"What? I was just saying..." He was siding with Paul. I thought we were having fun, sharing a private joke. Paul was an outsider. That's how the rule went as far as I've known. Kenny and Galen. Back home, everyone knew: no one could talk shit about one to the other. But, otherwise, everyone else was fair game. Hell, all we did in our tree- house was talk smack about others and share secrets. Kenny and I, back in the day. Reminisce...damn, it gets old.
As you can tell, the dinner was pretty silent. I again got the sinking feeling that Kenny and I were drifting apart. I just wanted to talk to Thane. So, I decided to call him and let him know I was home. I know it could have waited until we were back at Rez. Ah well.
"Hey Kenny, I need to go make a phone call, be right back." I left. I knew it was rude to just leave in the middle of the dinner, but, what can you do?
"Sure. Whatever." He kept on eating his food. Silent treatment. Fine then.
I called Thane's apartment and no one picked up. So, I tried his cell.
"Hello?" Damn! I will never get used to his voice. Too fucking sexy!
"I love your voice, you know that?" I can't believe I just told him that.
"Galen? Babe, where are you?" He chuckled.
"At the food court. I just came back."
"Great, how's Kenny's mom doing? How's your family?"
"Good, good, they're all doing great. Where are you?" I didn't want to get into the politics of my family. Too unnerving.
"On campus, just coming out of the gym."
"Hey, come to the food court. You'll see us there."
"All right, but, who's `us'?"
"Kenny and I...but we're not really on the best of terms. Some bullshit happened. He's mad cuz I was biting on his friend. He was too...but I don't know why he got mad at me."
"Ok...ok...I'll be there." Thane cut my whining short.
I went back to Kenny and my food. Still not talking to me. Fine by me. Bite. Chew. Swallow. Bite. Chew. Swallow. Bite. Chew. Swa... swall... finding it hard to swallow because there was Thane. Damn, if the motherfucker didn't look HOT! I wanted to jump him right there and then. He walked with this air of confidence, like he was unaware of anyone but himself. He had on a green shirt that just made his forest green eyes stand out even more. I was so hard down there.
He came up to us.
"Hey Galen, how's it going?"
"Hey." I looked over at Kenny. He momentarily stopped chewing and looked up at Thane. Gave him a once-over, and then went back to eating. Jackass.
"Thane, this is Kenny. Kenny, Thane."
Thane put out his hand to shake Kenny's. "How's it going, bro?"
Kenny looked at the hand and pointed his burger, which he was holding with both hands, at Thane, "Sorry, no hands." He gave Thane the wryest of smiles. Then he took the biggest bite, and looking like an idiot hick with a mouth full of food and some spilling out, kept on eating. Fucking put down the burger, and voila, you will have hands!
Thane looked at me. I just rolled my eyes.
"I'll get some food and join you guys." Thane left.
"Whatever," was Kenny's reply.
I punched his arm. "Dude, he's a friend, can you please be nice to him?"
"Like you're nice to Paul. Sure, I think I can do that."
"Fuck you."
"No, I think Thane wants to fuck you."
"What?"
"Dude's a fag. He was checking you out. What kind of a friend did you make?"
"You know what? You and Paul could go fuck each other. I'm out of here."
"Nah, I'll wait `til it's your turn." Kenny winked at me and laughed. He was so vicious. It was like looking at someone I didn't even know.
I took the food and left, in search of Thane. Kenny was such a jackass sometimes. He was a prick, an asshole, a motherfucking bastard bitch, a... I was so mad! FUCK! Where does he get off?!
"Babe, what's wrong?" I whirled around to find Thane behind me. "You're shaking."
"Kenny, he infuriates me! I can't believe we have kept up our friendship for this long. I'm so sick of him." Kenny had hit way too close to home with his comments. It was too unsettling. What if he knew?
"Oookkk...you guys seem like you've been married for years. Fourteen is it?" Thane smirked. One look at my face told him it was not the time for jokes. "Sorry," he said sheepishly.
I was not done yet, far from it. "Get this, he actually had the audacity to say that you were not only checking me out, but that you looked like you wanted to fuck me. How dare he?"
Thane looked at me, "We-e-ll...he's right you know. I was checking you out. You looked so fucking cute sitting there. I wanted to bite you..and do other nasty things to you...like sex." He wiggled his eyebrows.
I flushed. We were in public. I looked around. No one was in hearing range. "But...still...how would he know? It's not like I make it obvious. Right?"
"Sometimes, when people are consumed by their emotions too strongly, it's inevitable. It will show." Thane said with a smile.
"Not likely. Not for me. I don't want that."
"I see." Thane's voice sounded dejected, and his eyes were pained. Shit. Just leave it to me to be insensitive to the only person actually giving me comfort.
"Thane, you know I didn't mean it like that...I'm sorry.."
He held up his hand, "No...no...don't apologize. Once again, I understand." This time his voice came out in monotone: practiced and tired.
Dinner was quiet, once again. We made basic conversation, but I could tell Thane was upset. I told him to stop by my place on Wednesday after our Still Life class. I wanted him to see my room and also give him my present I brought from my hometown.
When I got back to Rez, Kenny was sprawled on his bed, books all around, twirling his basketball on his finger, while Paul sat on MY chair, with his books on MY table. I was acting childish, so I guess it would not be a good time to mention that I firmly believed that Kenny started this. But, he did...
"Paul, if you don't mind, I would like my table and chair back." I tried extra hard to sound cold and stiff.
"Um...ookk...sure, bud." He took all his shit and moved it over to Kenny's side. I was so tired. I hadn't had a decent night's sleep while at home, so I decided to turn in. I took off my clothes and just kept my wifebeater and boxers on. If I didn't know any better, I thought Paul stole a few glances my way. Hmm. I turned off all the lights on my side, and since they were studying quietly, I didn't think I would have much trouble falling asleep.
Boy, was I wrong.
As soon as I was drifting off to la-la land, Papa Roach woke me up.
"Don't give a fuck...if I cut my arm bleeding...Do you even care If I died bleeding?... No love for myself... and no love for another... Searching to find a love upon a higher level... Finding nothing but questions and devils...Cause I'm losing my sight... Losing my mind... Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine...Nothing's alright... Nothing is fine... I'm running and I'm crying ...I can't go on living this way..."
What the hell? Apparently, Mr. O'Brien had decided that it was the perfect time to listen to his music on his SUB-WOOFER! Although, I liked the song personally, this was not the time.
"Can you turn it the fuck down?" I screamed.
"Galen, if you don't mind, I would like to listen to MY music on MY computer." Kenny smiled the sweetest of smiles, but his blue eyes had turned cold.
The game had begun.
"No problem. I don't think I'm sleepy anyway." I decided to get up and pull out my smokes. I started smoking away, merrily, not a care in the world, even though it was against the Rez rules to smoke inside. Who was going to turn me in? Kenny?
He knew that this was a war between us and he knew that I could easily turn him in too. Loud music was also a no-no.
Fucker hated the smell of smoke unless it was weed. Isn't that too bad? I glanced over at Kenny. He was shooting daggers at me. Paul looked thoroughly confused, but again, he took it all in stride. The dude smoked too. He didn't mind, and I knew he liked Papa Roach...so I'm sure it was no problem for him either in that aspect.
"Dude, can I bum a smoke off you?" Paul asked. Haha! Kenny's own friend sold him out. The price of one cig wasted on a jackass - maybe 25 cents. The fine for getting caught by the RA for smoking - $200.00 and a warning. The look on Kenny's face - priceless. I tried really hard to hold back my laughter as I passed him the smoke.
"Get out Paul. I need to sleep, goodnight." Kenny practically shoved Paul out the door. Poor guy was probably so confused. I actually felt somewhat sorry for him, just a TAD bit.
Without a word, Kenny put all his books away, turned off the music, stripped as well, to his wifebeater (damn if he didn't look good, even when I was angry at him) and boxers, giving me a flash of his right arm. Feelings welled up inside of me as I caught a glimpse of the tattoo adorning his right upper arm, smack dab on his bicep. Motherfucker looked hot with the tattoo and knew it. It was a cross, and I had designed it for him. When he showed it to Mama Brien, she threatened to beat us both until we could no longer walk. Memories. God, we had so many. Kenny and I.
Kenny lay on his bed and promptly went to sleep.
I put out my smoke and did the same.
I had won this round.
But I couldn't sleep.
The actions of Kenny today made me realize why I actually am attracted to Thane. He was so mature, so self-assured, not at all like a stupid college boy. He was a man. Completely opposite to Kenny. While Kenny was the easy-going, free-spirited, 'don't give a fuck', outgoing guy, Thane was more serious, subdued, emotionally available and always ready to deal with problems. I needed that. I needed Thane, not Kenny.
Being an only child, he was cocky, and very, very selfish. People either saw him as a prick or didn't have the guts to say it, fearing that they might lose his friendship, and him being Mr. Popular, they wanted to keep as good a relationship with him as possible. Kenny's motto was "No regrets." He did everything because he wanted to. No one could force him into anything. He was always the leader. He did pranks that hurt others, but he never dwelled on it. He moved on. If it pleased him, then so be it. Obviously, that made him quite fun to be around, never knowing what he would pull next and to add to that, his wicked sense of humor. But still...he held people at a distance.
Up until now, I had considered myself the lucky one. I was the only one who was able to see beyond the attitude, the cockiness, the 'let's just have fun' attitude, to the real Kenny. I was able to see the Kenny who actually cared and came to this University just for me, who stood up to my brother when I didn't have the courage to, who encouraged my artwork, but that Kenny was fast disappearing, if not already gone.
I looked over at Kenny. His eyes were closed as he lay on his bed, across the small room. If I stretched my hands enough, and so did he, we could touch. He seemed to be asleep. His chest rose and fell with a peaceful rhythm. The windows were open, and the curtains danced in the wind while the full moon played peek-a-boo with me with each sway of the curtain. Too beautiful a night to lay here mulling over problems in life.
If I couldn't sleep, neither would Kenny.
"Mofo! You asleep?" I asked.
"Mmm..."
"Kenny?!"
"What?" He turned his sleep-laden eyes on me. They sparkled under the moon's light.
"Are you sleeping?"
"Of course the fuck not. Not now. What do you want?"
I looked at him and he held my stare. My breathing started to get heavier. The blood flowed from my pounding heart to my cock. Fuck no, I was over Kenny! Think ugly thoughts: my Still Life prof going down on Gina. Ugh! Thank God.
"Galen?"
I needed to know. "Why?" I took air into my lungs. Suddenly, the room felt suffocating. I continued, "Why didn't you call me to let me know how Mama Brien was? Didn't you think I would care to know?"
"I did. Every day, at every possible hour for a whole fucking week. You never picked up. You weren't home." His voice was accusatory.
"You could have left a message."
"I could have. Or...you could have been home. You decided to party. I decided you could care less."
I looked over at him. He wouldn't let me turn away. His eyes held anger, accusation and suspicion, and I heard his thoughts, "Where were you for a whole week?" Knowing Kenny, he would never ask. Asking would mean that he cared, and he would never show THAT!
"Night." I dared not answer his unspoken question.
"Night."
He had won this round.
We were even, for now...