Okay, So i've been a loyal Nifty reader for a while and so it's my turn to write. Email me your opinions (Blazer69lv@aol.com)
Common disclaimer, Blah blah, Don't read if you are under 18, if you are offended by homosexuality. I'm not implying anything about any of the BSB though i wish i could.
That's What HE Said
We did it! After spending the night outside the box office of the Thomas & Mack Center in Las Vegas, Me and my best friends got our FRONT Row tickets to the Backstreet Boys Concert. Hi, my name is Zed, yah it's and odd name but hey, it's me. I'm a Senior in High School, Six-foot tall, a well defined body, with Black hair and brown eyes that stop traffic. And one more little tidbit: I am perhaps the biggest "teeny bopper" on the face of the planet.
But back to the story at hand. I was going to the concert with my best friends, I say they are my best friends because they are the ones whom I had entrusted with my little secret. You see, I'm gay, and only my friends: Sean, Pat, and my soul sister Sherry, know the truth about me. I haven't come out to my parents yet because, well, they are strict Arabs, they would so totally disown me, so I just play it off with them.
It was now January, the concert was in March, that meant that I had about two months to get my hands on some backstage passes. I didn't care how many, as long as I got one. I had to see Brian up close at that concert. I made it a personal goal. I spent the next couple weeks listening to the radio, and watching every music show on TV. No luck. Then came my birthday. It was February 19, and I had turned 18! After my parents threw me the normal "happy birthday" family shindig, my friends took me out for dinner and a surprise. We went to my favorite restaurant, TGI Fridays. I had my usual: Pot Stickers and Chicken Fingers. After dinner, the waiters did their embarrassing "happy Birthday" ode, and we were off. I was riding with Sean,
"Where are we going?" i asked
"To desert breeze park" He replied
"Why??" I responded confused as ever.
"You'll just have to wait and see" he said.
When we got to the park, Sherry and pat had set up a little picnic area and had some presents set out for me. I was excited. We sat there for about an hour, chatting and playing around. When finally Sherry told me to open the presents.
I opened Pat's first, he got me a bunch of all access BSB videos and concerts. Sherry got me a this really awesome sweater from Abercrombie and Fitch. And Sean got me a new Gap card with $50 on it! I was so excited. this had turned out to be one of the best Birthdays ever...It only got better.
"Thanks soo much you guys have no idea how much you mean to me." I said
"Hey who said we were done?" said sherry.
"what you talkin about? there's more?" i asked
"Here, look in this envelope," said Sean as he handed me a manilla envelope. I gripped the envelope and opened it fairly quick. My heart literally stopped. Inside the envelope were 4, count them f-o-u-r, backstage passes to the Backstreet boys!!!
"Oh my fricken Gosh!! How the hell did you get these?!"
"I've got hookups" said Sean with the most sinister look on his face. I didn't give a shit how he got them, as long as I had one.
Weeks passed and it was now the weekend of the concert. I had just gotten home from my day at the mall. I was trying to find the best outfit for the concert. I went to the GAP and got some cream colored cargoes. To match that I bout this awesome navy blue collared shirt from Abercrombie. Underneath, I decided on my smiley faced yellow Joe Boxers. To complete my ensemble, I chose the perfect brown suede boots that had the wooden heel. I must have spent three hours getting ready, but hey, I looked damn good.
Sherry, Pat and Sean, showed up at my house around 5pm, we decided that we were all going in my Jeep to the concert. At 5:30 we all piled into the car and we were on our way. On the way to the T&M we listened to my favorite song, "All I. Have to Give" about three times, because I love Brian's Voice. When we got to the arena, we had trouble getting from one end to the other because of all the damn little prepubescent teeny bopper girls. They were everywhere.
When we finally got to our seats, it dawned on me, Front row really is close. I could hardly wait, my pulse was throbbing, my legs were fidgety, and I couldn't focus my attention anywhere but the stage. The lights went dark, all the teeny boppers started screaming their heads off, I, on the other hand just stared up at the stage. Suddenly, AJ, Kevin, Nick, Brian and Howie come up from under the stage and jump right into the swing of things. They first sang "That's the way I like it" to get things hyped up. Then when Brain started to sing "That's What She Said" something happened. I swear that B-rok was watching me mouth the words to the song, I swear that we made eye contact. I turned my head towards howie, and back towards Brian, his eyes had followed me. Chills were running up my spine. Intermission. I turn to Sherry who was on my side and tell her all about what I experienced and she was like "no way!" i was like "way"
The concert continued, The Boys were dynamos, awesome in everyway. They finished their stage act with "everybody" and Encored with "All I Have to Give." The house lights went back on and I remember thinking to myself "the night is just beginning," i was so very right.
We made our way to the backstage entrance and there was the guard. We waved our passes and he let us by. The whole area was a mad rush of activity. Stage hands running to and fro, producers talking on cell phones, and the BOYS straight ahead of us in plain view.
Kevin was the first one I saw, he was tall and oh so fine, he had taken his shirt off and was wiping himself down with a towel. Next I saw AJ, I admire his facial hair, I try to model mine after his. Then I saw nick, though he may be the "heartthrob" with the teeny boppers, I don't see much in him, other than his body, he's got a mighty good one. Coming up behind Nick was Brian, I knew he wouldn't take his shirt off but it was soaked with his sweat, he had a huge smile on his face because the concert had gone so well. Following right behind him was Howie. Howie had let his hair down and let his beautiful black curls hang down over his face. My palms were sweating, my pulse was throbbing, my eyes were a flutter. I was about to talk to the Backstreet Boys. Sean nudged me and made me lead them over. Kevin noticed us first, he greeted me with a firm handshake and pearly white smile.
"Hi, I'm Kevin, it's great to see you guys"
"um....um....Hi my name is Shed and this is my friend Zerry" i said trembling.
" I mean, Hi, I'm Zed and That's Sherry, Pat and Sean"
"Nice to meet you guys" said Howie with a token smile.
"Yeah, I love meeting fans" said Brian
"We rarely see guy fans though, its a good change" said AJ
By this time we had made our way into their dressing room. Sherry had hit it off with howie, while Sean and Pat were playing pool with Kevin and AJ. Nick and Brian were sitting on a leather couch chatting with me. I had found it easier to talk to Brian than any one of the other Backstreet Boys. We talked about their music, what I liked what I disliked, our backgrounds and future plans, you know, just a run of the mill conversation. After about an hour with the boys backstage, their manager told them they had to wrap things up and get ready, the limo would arrive in half an hour. We said our good byes and thank yous and shook hands, when I shook Brian's hand, he slipped me a note, and told me to read it later.
When we got out to the parking lot, I opened the note it said: "You seem like a really cool guy, here's my number at the hotel, call me tonight, we can hang out or something."
The drive home was short. I dropped Pat off first, then Sherry, then Sean. When I got home I decided I needed a long bath to soak in and relive what I had just experienced. My ears were still ringing from the concert, but I didn't care, I had in my planner, Brian Littrell's hotel phone number! He wanted to hang out with me. My heart was racing again, as I drew my bath, I went and grabbed my cordless phone. I thought I would keep it handy since I was all alone in the house the rest of the weekend, my parents decided to fly to Michigan to visit relatives.
Soaking in the bath I thought of him, I thought of his deep deep blue eyes and how they glistened, I thought of his chiseled face that reminded me of an ancient god, I remembered his body that I was only inches away from....Speaking of inches, by this point I had a raging hard on. What can I say? Brian turns me on. I figured what better way to end the night than with an orgasm. I grabbed my 8 inch tool and began stroking it under the water, living BSB fantasies in my head, my pace grew faster until my waist began thrusting up and I buckled, I shot load after load into the water.
After I cleaned up, I dried myself off and went to my room. There I laid on my bed and contemplated....I remember thinking
"Should I call? What if he's asleep?"
With that I laid down, two minutes later I changed my mind, grabbed the phone and the piece of paper. Hey he told me to call!
One ring. Two Rings
"Hello"
"Um..Hi, Brian?"
"Hey! Zed what's up??"
"Well, I was just debating whether I should call or not, I didn't want to disturb you"
"Don't worry, I was hopping you'd call"
With that, began the longest phone conversation I had ever had. Brian and I were on the phone for about 6 hours. We talked about everything, I told him about myself and my life and he did the same. We talked and talked like as if we had known each other for ages, when we just met. I told him about my family problems and my personal life. He told me about what it was like growing up in Kentucky, and how he had always had music in his life to guide him. We had made plans to hook up the next day for lunch. The Boys would be in Vegas for two weeks on vacation until they had to go to Sacramento for their next show.
That's What He Said Part II
...ring.....ring...."hello"
"hey, Zed,"
"yah, hey Brian, what's up?"
"nothing much, we still on for lunch today?"
"of course! I want to take you to the Cheesecake Factory at the
Forum Shops, they have the best avocado eggrolls there.
Are the guys joining us?"
"Sounds awesome, no, it's just going to be you and me, is that ok?"
"you know it is. all right, I'll be by the hotel to pick you up in and hour"
With that I got up and scurried about, showering, brushing my teeth and all that hygiene blah blah. I was having trouble in the clothing department, but I eventually found something. I headed out to my car and was on my way to the hotel. I was amazed that there weren't any teenyboppers in the hotel, I guess security had done good this time. I made my way up to the 40th floor and went to knock on Brian's door. Before my hand touched the door, it opened. The he was, in full force. Brian Littrell was standing in front of me, however this time I wasn't as nervous, but it seemed like he was.
We headed downstairs and out to my car. we made small talk, about the weather, daily news, the concert, pretty much anything. When we got to our table at the CCF we were lucky that no one had recognized Brian. He did a good job at concealing himself, he wore a raggedy Kentucky baseball cap and plain jeans and a tee shirt. After our food arrived, Brian asked me something that startled me.
"Zed, do I act gay?" he asked.
"what? how do you mean?" I questioned
"Do I act gay? I mean, like on stage do I come off as fruity? or
when we first met did I give off any vibes?" he asked in a
serious tone.
''Well, since you brought the whole gay topic up... I think there
is something you should know about me Brian, you see I'm gay. And yes I did sense something when I saw you on stage and met you at first. I said in a sort of ashamed tone.
"Really? You are gay? What did I do that made me seem gay? Oh my god, does this mean you have a crush on me? Please don't tell me you think I'm going to come out and say 'Zed I'm gay too'" He said ridiculing me.
He went on to say "I'm not a fag" and other hurtful and extremely derogatory things.
I couldn't handle it, I stood up and left. I was hurt, embarrassed, and sickened by the whole ordeal. I left Brain alone at the Forum only to be left with the tab and the group of teenyboppers that saw through his camouflage.
Skip ahead to May 1999
I had just pulled into my driveway from work and I went to the mail box. Just the usual bills, junk mail and well one unusual package. It had no return address but it originated from Orlando, Florida. I open the box and much to my surprise, I found two objects: a letter and a CD. The CD was Millennium, I had it before it was released. I figured it was from Howie, because Howie and Sherry had been in touch over the past few months. When I opened the letter I almost fainted. It was from Brian. It wasn't much of a letter. Just saying that he had spent the past few months thinking and he was genuinely sorry for the things he said. In the letter was a card that had an address on it and a map, I was to be there the next night at 8 p.m..
I spent the next 24 hours debating. "should I go? no, maybe its a bad idea, why dig up bad memories" I remember thinking. Despite my fears, I decided to go. The map said I had to go to O'calihan Middle School and meet Brian at the top of the hill at 8 p.m.. I didn't know how Brian knew about Ocalihan, that school was my secret place, especially the top of the hill. I'd go there to think, to be alone, or just to be up there.
Climbing my up the slight hill, I was anxious. I didn't know what to expect. When I got there, I was met by a sight I could not soon forget. Brian had set up a picnic area with fine champagne and strawberry's and candles were all about. He ushered me over o him and told me to sit. I did as he said, shit, what else could I do?
"Zed, I'm really glad you decided to come after all this time" He
said.
"yah...sure..." I said.
"Listen I'm really sorry about what happened the last time we
saw each other. and I want nothing more at this point than for you to forgive me." he pleaded.
"I suppose I can forgive you Brian, But why all this? why the
whole get up, why the CD, why couldn't you have just called and apologized?" I asked.
"Well, I guess I'll just start from the day we last saw each other.
Since that day, I have not been the same. I had something welling up inside me and well, I don't know why I chose you to be the one that I would fire upon." But anyways, after the Sacramento concert, our tour was over and we were to record Millennium. You see the thing about Millennium is that it was a growth for the group and for myself especially. I realized something in myself while recording that record. Zed, I'm gay and I couldn't hold it back." Said Brian.
"Oh my.....jeez.....Brian, I don't know what to say....." I said
"you don't have to say anything. I want you to listen to this..." He pulled out a CD player and played track 3 of Millennium. "Show me the Meaning of Being Lonely." I didn't' tell him, but this was my favorite song on the album, it was the song I related to most.
Halfway through the song, Brian began singing to me, his voice was piercing, and I spent the whole time looking into his eyes.
After the song, Brian wiped a tear off his eye and said
"I was thinking of you when we recorded this song, in my mind and heart this song is dedicated to you" he said, as he began to cry.
By this time, I was crying and we were holding each other. "I'm
gay and I want to be with you Zed" he cried, "I was so fucking stupid before, I was just so afraid of my faith and my upbringing that I couldn't let the real me out."
With that, I leaned over and kissed him, slowly our kiss became more and more intense. We were locked, I felt safe in his arms, I never wanted to leave them but I knew we would have to leave the school soon. I reluctantly stooped our kiss and we packed up and went to my house.
As soon as we entered the house we were in each other's arms. Struggling to maintain our balance we headed into my room where I managed to turn on the stereo to "I Need You Tonight."
We fell onto the bed, kissing and feeling each other inside of the other. Brian began to slip my clothes off as I did the same to his, never letting go. We were in my bed naked and in love. Brian reached down and grabbed my throbbing cock, and began stroking it against his own 8 inches. it was heaven. Brian broke away from kissing me and began his way down my neck, and then on to my nipples-- where he spent a little more time-- and then he proceeded down ill he reached the head of my penis, glistening with pre-cum. Brain slowly and erotically licked the juices and then took the head into his mouth where his tongue swirled about an made me buckle up and down. Soon after Brian was going down on my entire shaft. his hot mouth was exquisite. he had maneuvered his body into the 69 position and placed his dick into my throat. He was delicious I swallowed the whole length of his shaft while fondling his balls and fingering his hot hole. within minutes he was buckling rapidly and I knew he was cumming... knowing that he was cumming was enough for me and so simultaneously, we came into each other swallowing every drop and kissing deeply exchanging juices.
We laid there for what seemed like eternity, holding each other tightly. I was listening to "Don't want to lose you now" in my head as we slowly fell asleep naked in each other's arms.
You like? Please EMAIL me any comments, concerns, or questions. Blazer69lv@aol.com