I'm a cocksucker.
Yeh, that's right, a cocksucker. I pleasure straight guys with my mouth when they're horny and there's no pussy around. And when they've popped their load down my throat, they just stick their meat back in their pants and zip up. Sometimes they say thanks, sometimes they don't. But that's OK, it's just how straight guys treat cocksuckers.
Straight guys always want to know what a guy like me gets out of giving them blow jobs when they don't give me anything in return. Well, that's easy. They do give me something, they give me dick, the most wonderful, sexiest thing in the world to a fag. So while the straight guy is using my mouth as a pussy substitute in order to satisfy his sexual needs, he is also letting me worship his cock so I can satisfy mine. That's a fair deal as far as I'm concerned.
But, hey, don't get me wrong. Seeing me walk down the street, you'd never think I was queer. I don't swish. I hang out with my friends, play sports, get drunk now and then, the usual guy-guy stuff. I'm totally male and a regular guy in every way except one: My favorite kind of sex is sucking on another guy's dick and taking his load for him.
Am I glad that I turned out to be a cocksucker instead of a normal, pussy-chasing straight guy? Yeah, I am, even though sometimes it can be tough being a fag in a straight-ruled world, especially a fag who likes what I like. I wouldn't want to be anything else though. In fact, tell you the truth, I'm more than glad, I'm proud to be a cocksucker. I'm proud that the guys who let me service them usually come back for more, whenever they're feeling horny and need the kind of ego-trip-hot-sex that they can only get from a really good cocksucker who asks nothing more than the privilege of being allowed to suck them.
But I'll admit it took me a while to get here. Like all guys growing up homo instead of hetero, I suppose, I had to figure out a few things first. Let me tell you about it.
Ever since I can remember I've been fascinated by other guy's dicks and I started sucking on them as soon as my older cousin he's a homo too showed me what a blow job was and then let me practice on his dick so I could learn to do it right. Right from that first time I loved how it felt to have his cock in my mouth, how good it made me feel to suck on it, to make it mine for a few minutes. Even more, I loved how much my cousin enjoyed being sucked off, how good I made him feel. He'd kick back and relax on the bed, his hands behind his head, just letting me pleasure him, and I fell in love with giving sexual service to other men. It just felt so good to suck on his beautiful cock until he popped his load.
Naturally, as soon as I discovered cocksucking, I wanted more, lots more, and my cousin told me about the Y and the men's room in the bus station downtown. He said that guys who were horny would go there and let guys like us feed on their meat so they could get off.
I'll never forget the first time I went to the Y, a couple of months after I started sucking my cousin's dick. This good-looking guy came into the men's room dressed only in gym shorts and a jock. He saw me sitting in one of the stalls, which didn't have any doors. I guess it was obvious I wasn't there to take a shit.
"You want something, boy?" he asked when he saw me looking at him while he took a leak at one of the urinals.
"Yes, please," I answered, my heart racing.
"What's that, boy?"
"Can I suck your cock, please, sir?"
"You a cocksucker, boy?" he said, waving his dick at me.
"Yes, sir, I am. Please let me suck on it."
"Funny," he said, "you don't look queer."
"Well, it's just that I like to suck guys. I'm not a sissy or anything."
He walked toward me, his dick getting hard. God, it was beautiful, sticking out from his lean, hard body, his heavy balls hanging below it.
"You do a good job, cocksucker," he said, standing in front of me, his manhood a few inches from my face.
"Yes, sir," I answered, "I'll suck it good for you."
"You do that, boy."
I leaned forward and felt for the first time the utter bliss that comes over me when a straight man's cock slides into my mouth. It thrilled me to be this hunky guy's cocksucker, the instrument of his pleasure. As I sucked him, he kept calling me names like faggot and queer boy and I felt smaller and smaller and he seemed bigger and more masculine every second, until he blew his wad down my throat. When it was over, he thanked me and told me I was a good cocksucker. That really made me feel good because I wanted to be the best cocksucker in the world for a guy like him.
Two other guys used my mouth as a pussy substitute that day and they called me names too. That bothered me at first. Even then, I didn't think of myself as like one of those swishy guys everyone made fun of at school. As I told that first guy, I wasn't a sissy, it just made me feel good to suck dick. At that time, I guess, I thought my cousin and I must be just about the only guys in the world who needed dick instead of pussy but didn't act queer. But my cousin told me there were plenty of guys like us, and being a cocksucker didn't mean you weren't a man. It just meant you liked sucking dick.
But he also told me that straight guys need to protect their self-image before they can relax and get sexual service from another man. He said that submitting to a straight guy's verbal abuse when you serviced him was just part of being a cocksucker and you had to learn to get off on it. Part of the job, so to speak. He was right, of course. Pretty soon I wanted the verbal abuse when I serviced a guy, it made being his cocksucker even more thrilling for me, telling me who and what I am.
But it still bothered me when my friends made fun of homos while we were joking around. Of course, they never suspected I was a homo myself, sucking dick every chance I got at places like the Y. I wasn't about to stop doing it, and if doing it meant I was a homo, then I was a homo and so be it. But it would take a while before I was proud to be a cocksucker. Until then, sucking dick was just something I needed to do and so I did it.
I began to feel proud of what I am when I went away to college. It didn't take me long to find out about the third-floor john in the library and its carefully maintained, and usually busy glory hole. Soon I was going there several times a week to find cock to worship, and most of it turned out to be my favorite kind, straight-boy cock.
You see, in those days, nice girls weren't supposed to put out, so a lot of the straights went to the campus glory holes when they were horny to get their hard-ons serviced by fags. Just like the guys I'd sucked off at the Y while in high school, none of them thought there was anything queer about a guy putting his dick in some cocksucker's mouth so he could get off. It was putting your mouth around some guy's dick that made you queer.
But the straights liked the anonymity of the glory holes as much as the cocksuckers did. That way they could have sex with another guy and enjoy it without any complications, no reputations made or lost. It was just hot mouths and hard dicks and that was a good deal for everyone, straight and fag alike.
I remember going into the library john after I'd been at school a couple of years, one night when I was real hungry for some straight-boy dick. But the first stall, the one I liked to use when I worked the glory hole, was occupied. Naturally I didn't know if it was just some guy taking a shit, or someone looking to get blown, or someone after the same thing I was after, because I wasn't the only dicklicker at school by a long shot. I knew most of the other cocksuckers by this point, having run into them in places like the library john. We'd nod when we ran into each other on campus and maybe discuss some new hot spot to get dick that one of us had found. We were sort of a secret fraternity and most of us weren't obvious about being queer.
So I went into the other stall to take a leak and I could feel the guy checking me out through the glory hole while I pissed.
"How you doing, cocksucker?" he said.
It was Billy, the only guy I let call me "cocksucker" when I wasn't being submissive to a straight guy while I serviced him. Billy was my best friend. We had met in this very spot during our freshman year when he had put his dick through the glory hole for me to suck on after I let him know I wanted it. I had figured he was just another horny straight boy. But after a couple of minutes of feeding me his meat he surprised me.
"Hey, man," he said, "you give great head. But it's my turn now. Let me have some cock, hey, and I'll show you what I can do with it."
Naturally I did and he did as good a job on my dick as I had been doing on his. We were cocksucking buddies from that point on, taking care of each other when one of us wanted to pop a load or was hungry for cock. But we were never lovers. We were both too much into giving glory hole service, sucking off straight guys. But we took a lot of classes together and soon became best friends. That was great because it can be lonely being a homo when you're that age.
Billy and I could be completely ourselves together. He already knew I was a cocksucker, so I didn't have to hide it from him like I did from my other friends. And he understood why I needed to suck dick in the only way that a man can ever really understand the need for dick instead of pussy, because he needed it too. So we spent a lot of time together, feeling each other up while we talked, making out, and giving each other long, loving blow jobs as we worshiped our mutual passion, the great god cock.
Billy told me he had been hung up on other guys' dicks since his older stepbrother came home drunk and horny one night and talked him into giving him some head. Billy adored his bro-
ther and would have done anything to please him, and he found he really enjoyed sucking his brother's big dick. It fed a hunger in himself he hadn't known he'd had before. He became his brother's regular cocksucker after that, and soon for a couple of his bro-
ther's friends too, sucking them each off a couple of times a week, sometimes separately, sometimes together. That's how he learned to like sucking cock while others watched. And Billy was still his brother's cocksucker, at least when he was home from college, even though his brother had gotten married.
"Hey, Billy, how you doing?" I asked him when I found out who was in the other stall. "Had much action tonight?"
"Not bad. I've been here about half an hour and I've saved two guys from the sin of masturbation."
"How were they?"
"You're talking to a happy cocksucker."
"I bet. Wish it had been me, that's for fucking sure. You going to be here much longer?"
"Well, I'll make room for you if you want. But I haven't come yet. How about letting me suck your dick while I jerk off? You want to be my last cock of the evening?"
"Sure, Billy," I told him, "that would be great. But don't make me come, hey? I don't want to take the edge off until I've gotten some dick for myself."
"Don't worry," he told me, "I know that feeling pretty well."
I'd been playing with my dick while we talked, so I was already hard and I stuck my seven inches through the glory hole for Billy to suck on while he jerked off. I felt his warm, wet mouth surround my dick and I could see under the partition that he had slipped to his knees, the proper position for worshiping cock, even one that belongs to another cocksucker. Soon he was sliding up and down my dick, burying his nose in my pubes on the down stroke in his cocksucker's hunger for dick.
No wonder Billy's brother still wanted service from him, even though he was getting regular pussy from his wife. Whether you're straight or a fag yourself, there's just nothing like a blow job from a really good cocksucker, and Billy was one of the best.
"Hey, thanks, man," he said when he finished. "That was great. You know, you've really got a nice cock, even if you're just a fucking faggot."
"Well, no one's perfect," I said as I came out of the stall. Billy came out of his, his jeans still unbuttoned, and I gave his cock and balls a squeeze. "You've got nice meat too, Billy. For a homo at least."
"Well, that's what I am," he said laughing. "A queer- as-a-three-dollar-bill dicklicking homo and cocksucker to the stars, and glad to be one. You glad you're a cocksucker too? Or would you be straight if you had the chance?"
"I dunno, Billy. Sometimes I like being a fag and sometimes I don't."
"Well, have fun, cocksucker," he said. "You can't stop needing dick, so you might as well enjoy getting it." He leaned forward and kissed me gently on the lips.
"Thanks, cocksucker, I'll try my best." I kissed him back and we held each other for a moment. As I said, it can be lonely being queer at that age, especially if what turns you on the most is getting straight guys to share their manhood with you, like it did Billy and me.
I went into Billy's stall and sat down, playing with my dick while I waited. Pretty soon two guys came in and started taking a leak. They were talking about how horny they were, so I figured they hadn't come into the library john just to find a urinal. I tapped my foot a couple of times, the signal that the guy in the stall was looking for cock to service.
"Hey, I think we're in luck," one of them said.
"Great," the other one answered, "you go ahead and I'll look out."
"You want to suck on my dick?" the first one asked me.
"Sure would," I said. "You need to pop a load? I'll take care of you."
The guy went into the other stall and stuck six inches of manmeat through the glory hole. "Suck on this, faggot," he told me.
I do what I'm told when I'm on cocksucking duty and I fell on it. Boy was I hungry for straight-boy meat that night. Pretty soon I was making a disaster zone of his cock and balls and he was moaning and calling me a pussy mouth faggot and a fucking, dicklicking cocksucker--all of which is true. Pretty soon he popped his load and I swallowed it happily.
"Hey, Steve," he said to his buddy, "this guy is great. He really drained me."
He left the stall and the other guy came in and put a true eight-incher through the glory hole. It was a real beauty and I leaned back to admire it for a second.
"Come on, cocksucker," he told me, "do your job, I haven't got all night."
I set to work, polishing the head of his dick with my tongue. I licked his balls for a while and then deep-throated him right to the base of his cock. He let out a low moan and started to move his hips back and forth. He turned out to be one of those guys who prefer to fuck a cocksucker in the face, so I just pushed my mouth up to the glory hole and had a really good time while he put his hands on the top of the partition and shoved his dick down my throat again and again.
Just as we were really getting into it, the door to the john opened and another guy came in. Sometimes when that hap-
pened, the guy getting sucked would pull away. But this one didn't seem to care and he kept right on face fucking me.
"Hey, Pete," the new guy said to the one I'd serviced first. "What are you doing here?"
"Not doing anything, Fred. I'm here getting done. So's Steve."
"You got a cocksucker in there taking care of you, Steve?" he asked.
"Sure as hell do," he said. "Wait a couple more minutes and you can find out for yourself how good he is. This guy's really got a hot mouth."
"Thanks," he said, "but I think I'm getting laid this weekend. Don't want to spoil that."
"Lucky you," the guy I was sucking said. "Haven't had any pussy in fucking ages. Got to be satisfied with blow jobs from faggots. At least this cocksucker really knows how to use his mouth on a guy's meat."
"Well, enjoy," the other guy said, flushing the urinal and going out.
I was really pleased he had called me a good cocksucker and he started calling me more names when he got close. "Come on, cocksucker," he said, "use that pussy mouth of yours. Yeh, man, suck my dick. Fucking queer, you like my meat, don't you, faggot?" Suddenly he shot a big wad and I slurped it up.
He took his dick out of my mouth, wiped it off with some toilet paper and zipped up. "Thanks, guy," he said, "you were great. Really enjoyed it."
"Glad I could help," I said. "Any time."
"See you around, whoever the fuck you are," he said as he went out the door with his friend, laughing.
I waited again, my cocksucker's hunger for dick not yet satisfied, despite two great cocks. But no one came in for a long while and I eventually decided to try the park to get what I needed. I'd never been there before but Billy had told me about it. When it was warm he especially liked to go to a part of the public park near the campus because that's where the local punks went when their girl friends weren't putting out and they needed a blow job from the cocksuckers who went there to service them. It really turned him on to be on his knees in front of these guys, servicing their dicks in public, and taking their verbal abuse along with their loads.
"You've never been called a faggot until one of these guys call you a faggot," Billy would say happily when he was telling me about his latest night out, sucking on townie dick. "Their friends are watching, so they have to be real macho."
There was a moon out, so I could see my way as I went to the secluded path through the wooded part where Billy had told me the action was. Soon I saw two guys, obviously townies, stand-
ing against the stone wall that went along one side of the path, and a third guy, who looked like a college student, down on his knees, giving head to one of them. I approached and saw that it was Billy. He had said he was through for the night, but you probably know how it is when you're a cocksucker.
The guy who was watching his friend get serviced looked at me as I came closer. It didn't take him long to figure out I was a cocksucker too. (I was dressed like a college student, and any college student who was in that part of the park at that time of night was looking for townie dick to suck). He took his meat out of his pants and waved it at me.
"Suck it for me, faggot," he said. I got down on my knees in front of him next to Billy, who looked at me, the other guy's dick still in his mouth. His eyes widened when he saw it was me.
"Enjoying yourself, cocksucker?" I asked as I took hold of my guy's balls with one hand while I started to lick his hard-
ening dick. He shook his head yes and went back to work, his head sliding long and easy on the bigger-than-average piece of meat in front of him. He looked real happy, but a cocksucker on his knees with a hot dick in his mouth usually is.
I got to work too and soon our heads were bobbing in unison as we pleasured the two punks. As they each came, they just tucked their meat back in their pants and walked away, leav-
ing me and Billy kneeling there, the last of their cum still dribbling down our chins.
"Fuckin' faggots," one of them said as they moved out of sight.
"How you doing?" I asked Billy.
"Pretty good. I see you decided to check out the park and try some townie dick for a change."
"Yeh, why should you get it all?"
"I'm not the only cocksucker who comes here to get dick from these guys, believe me. On Saturday nights there can be five or six of us down on our knees giving head and a couple of dozen townies waiting their turn to be serviced. It can be real hot. Check it out sometime. It can be better than college cock."
"I will."
As we were talking, a couple of other guys came up to us and pulled out their meat. A third joined us and waited while we took care of the first two. Billy finished first and began on the third guy. When my man gave me his load, I stayed on my knees and watched Billy suck.
As I said, the straight-acting homos at school, like Billy and me, tended to stay out of each others' way when we were out getting dick. And although Billy and I were best friends and we had sucked each other off a hundred times, I had never seen him with anyone's dick in his mouth except mine.
Then Billy took the guy's penis out of his mouth and offered it to me. Of course, Billy was my best friend, not just another cocksucker. I took over and pretty soon we were switching back and forth. While we were both working on it, me on one side, Billy on the other, the guy suddenly shot his load between us.
As we were watching this guy cum, a cop who had obvi-
ously been watching us from the shadows suddenly appeared. The guy we had been blowing ran off, tucking his meat back in his pants as he went, but Billy and I were trapped. Anyway the cops never arrested the punks, just the fags who serviced the punks.
The cop stood in front of us, his hands on his hips. "Alright, faggots," he said, looking down on us, "let's go."
"Please, sir," said Billy, who seemed calm, "can't we make a deal?"
"You fucking queers," he said. "We don't like cock-
suckers in this town, especially smart-ass college cocksuckers. On your feet and let's go. Now."
I was too scared to move. My parents were going to have a fit when they heard their darling son had been arrested for giving blow jobs in the park. Like most straights they didn't even know I was queer. But Billy stayed calm. He reached out and gently touched the policeman's well-packed crotch.
"Please, sir," Billy said massaging his basket, "let me suck your dick. I'm a real good cocksucker, sir, and so's my friend here. We'll take good care of you. Please, sir."
"Suck on this, faggot," the cop said, shoving his night stick in Billy's face. Billy didn't hesitate. He started sucking on the end of the club, his head bobbing back and forth obedient-
ly. But he kept massaging the cop's basket, and the cop didn't stop him. I could see his dick was getting hard. I figured I bet-
ter follow Billy's lead if I hoped to stay out of jail, so I un-
zipped the cop's fly, reached in and pulled out a beautiful piece of semi-hard cop meat. I started sucking on it while Billy watched.
After a minute or so, I let Billy take over the cop's dick and I started licking his balls. I could tell the cop was really getting off on having two cocksuckers service him at the same time while I was really getting off sharing his manhood with Billy.
"Fucking faggots," he said. "You like my meat, don't you, queer boy?"
"Yes, sir," I said, as Billy continued sucking. "I sure do, sir."
"Well, you tell your faggot friend to keep doing what he's doing to it. His pussy mouth feels real good on my dick right now."
Billy looked at me out of the corner of his eye and winked. I went back to licking the cop's hairy balls and shifting off with Billy every couple of minutes. Billy took his own dick out and began to beat off slowly as he serviced the cop and I did the same.
Finally the cop pulled his meat out of my mouth and said, "OK, cocksuckers, here's your reward," as he stroked it. He began shooting a huge wad all over our faces. Spurt after spurt landed on Billy and me as we kneeled there together in the park, jerking ourselves off and looking like a pair of hungry baby robins, our mouths wide open while the cop fed us his spunk. When the cop finally finished coming, he zipped up his pants and adjusted his uniform.
"Lucky for you guys I was horny. Next time I may not be so generous."
"Yes, sir," Billy said, "Thank you for letting us be your cocksuckers, sir."
The cop went off, leaving Billy and me alone. I looked at him and saw some of the cop's cum dripping down the end of his nose. I leaned over and licked it off him and then cleaned up the rest of his face with my tongue, and he did the same for me, savoring every drop of the cop's load.
"Wow," Billy said when he had finished, "that was hot."
"Sure was. How did you know he'd let us suck him?"
"I've seen him getting a blow job here before, so I figured that's what he was really after. Couldn't hurt, right? We were already in deep shit if he meant it."
"You're right about that, man."
Billy looked thoughtful. "I asked you earlier," he said, "if you were glad you were a cocksucker. After something like this, I know I'm glad to be one, even though it has it's inconveniences, so to speak."
"Me too, that's for fucking sure. I'm still hot."
"Well, I didn't come just now. Want to take care of me, before we head back to school?"
"Sure, Billy," I said, "that would be great. Thanks. I'd love to suck your dick."
Billy stood up, his meat still hanging out of his pants. "Help yourself, faggot," he said, smiling down at me on my knees in front of him, waving his dick in my face, just like straight guys did when they taunted me.
Like Billy, I preferred sucking off straight guys instead of other fags, but right then for some reason I was glad it was Billy I was taking care of. Billy, who knew what it meant to be a cocksucker, knew the humiliation of begging straight boys to share their meat, knew the sexual power of their contempt for guys like us, knew the joy of giving sexual service to them. Just then I was glad it was Billy, not some straight guy who used me for his pleasure while he made fun of me because I wanted him to use me. I liked Billy a lot, and taking care of him was what I wanted to do right then.
Like a lot of guys who are hung up on other guys' dicks, Billy had big meat of his own and it quickly came to full erection, seven and a half inches that curved smoothly upward. I had always enjoyed taking care of him when he needed to pop a load. Now I took his beautiful penis into my mouth once more and began to worship it with long, smooth strokes while I fondled his balls, just as I had been worshiping the cocks of the straight guys.
And Billy's turned out to be the best dick I'd had all night, not because it was the biggest--the guy in the library john had been bigger--but because it really gave me what a cock-
sucker needs from another guy's meat, that sense of completeness, sexual wholeness that guys like Billy and me only get from sucking on another man's manhood.
I sucked contentedly for several minutes, giving Billy the best blow job I knew how to give while I nourished myself from his manhood. He leaned up against the wall making it easier for me to service him, just as the punks had done, holding my head gently in his hands.
Some of the guys we had sucked off earlier walked by. "Hey," one of them said, "Look at that. The cocksuckers are doing each other now."
"Hey, faggot," another said to Billy, "you switched or something? You not a cocksucker any more like your friend?"
"Hell, no," Billy yelled back, "I'm still a cocksucker. I'll always be a cocksucker. I'm fucking proud to be a cocksucker, man. That's what I am."
The punks went off laughing about the two crazy homos. But I didn't care any more than Billy did. As I knelt on the pathway in the park, sucking my best friend's cock for him, get-
ting sexual pleasure for myself in the greatest way I knew how, by using my mouth to give sexual pleasure to another man, I realized that I was proud to be a cocksucker too.
After all these years, I'm still proud to be a cock-
sucker. Like Billy said, that's what I am.