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Chapter 32. What I learned.
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Billy finds seats for us in the rather crowded coffee shop, gives me His credit card and tells me what to order. One thing I'm happy about is that my Master is very lenient and understanding when it comes to coffee. He can deny me any food, or force me to eat Pablum or anything else, but as long as I can have coffee whenever I want (and I'm allowed to ask for it), I'm a happy camper.
When I bring our refreshments to the table and sit down, He says, "So talk to me, boy."
"Master, He kept spitting at me and then rubbed it into my face. I feel all yucky now."
"alex, I didn't ask you to tell me what they did. I asked you to tell me what you learned. I really don't care what happened to you. I gave you to them and they could do whatever they wanted. Focus, brat! Tell me: what.did.you.learn? What did they teach you? You must be willing to learn from each and every superior man who takes an interest in you."
"I'm sorry, Master." I look around and lots of people are talking so I'm not afraid of anyone overhearing us. Besides, Billy conveniently put us a table almost hidden in a corner. "I learned that They could do whatever They wanted to me, even if it was disgusting or weird."
"those are judgments, boy. Stop doing that. You don't have the right to judge. That earned you two lashes with the strap when we get home."
"I'm sorry again, Master."
"Tell me why they could do what they did? Now THINK!"
"Because I am that low. Superior men can do things to me that ordinary men would never tolerate."
"that's better, boy. Continue!"
"ummm...that a superior man is free to act out any impulse or desire to humiliate or use me. That my body is a thing to them. That I have no personhood."
Billy nods his approval and smiles at me. I love it when He does that! "So . . . slapping and spitting. Did you submit willingly or was it something you resented or was it something you realized you deserved?
"Master, I realized that I need to be used that way."
"Did it excite your inner slave?"
He's been talking a lot about my `inner slave' and I'm starting to get His point about that. Yes, there is something inside me that really responds to all the things that are happening. It's almost like I get this feeling of something glowing and shaking with me. I respond to the feeling by bowing my head and lowering my eyes, and I say quietly, "Yes, Master."
"Think of this: Imagine that I walked up to you in high school and started slapping your face. In private."
I think, and reply "I think I would have taken it, but only from You, Sir."
"what if I had done it in public?"
"Guys would watch and laugh at me and pat you on the back for doing it. I'd probably start to cry."
"Yes, I think you would have cried. You know, back in high school, I really wanted to slap you around."
"why didn't you?"
"Several reasons. A: I'd get in trouble. B: I wasn't sure how you'd react. C: I didn't want you to regard me as a bully, and you weren't ready to understand me as the Master I would become for you. Tell me: that second guy, Henry. Did He make you blow Him?"
"No, Sir. He just wanted to humiliate the faggot by spitting and slapping. Everything was above the neck: face, mouth and mind took His abuse. I actually think He is homophobic---no, I shouldn't say that because it's a judgment. I'm sorry, Master."
"I'll let that go. When Henry was talking to me, He told me that in His mind, there is nothing lower than a faggot slave, so I told Him to treat you that way, that it would do you some good."
"He had this permanent sneer on His face the minute He heard I was a slave. His look made me feel like I should fall to the floor and be under His feet."
"Again, what did you learn, boy?"
"How low I am in some men's eyes if they know the truth about me."
"then He did you a big favor."
"Master, the most humiliating thing of all was when You made me go back to Him before leaving to thank Him."
"the other guy—Mark---said that he was straight but he was horny and didn't think there was anything gay about getting his cock sucked by a gay slaveboy when no woman is available. He said that when He heard you were going to the ranch to do slave labor, He realized that you were a true slave—like cory at the ranch—and as such, you were less than human and have no sexual identity."
"do You think that, Master?"
"Not at all. In My Eyes, you are a boy—not a man—a boy who needs constant guidance and discipline, a boy I love and care for—but at the same time, you are my property. Nonetheless, I do intend to marry you, not to make you my spouse or husband, but because of numerous legal benefits to marriage and that it is a way of protecting you if anything ever happens to me."
"Master, if anything happens to you I think I would just fold up and die."
"don't go there, alex. Don't upset yourself that way. Did you really get what I just said to you: I am going to marry you. In the eyes of outsiders, of course, we will be husbands, but even in straight marriages, sometimes one partner is subservient to the other. If anyone picks up on that, fine, but it won't make any difference."
"May I ask You a question, Billy?"
"what?"
"Are Pap and crick married?"
"Yes. No more about that now, boy."
"Sir, I had some negative thoughts when Henry was doing what He did to me."
"What were you thinking?"
"that He was nothing more than a bully."
"He most definitely is a bully. I know that. I made a decision when He was talking to me because of the way He was talking. I decided it was fine with me, that He could bully you for a while. Part of your training. And I knew it would be hard for you, that it would probably bring up bad memories—but I want those memories to come to the surface."
"I was bullied so much in school, Sir."
"I know. I saw a lot of it. But what you didn't know was how many times I put a stop to things guys were planning, or told someone—like Bruce, for example—to lay off you."
"Really? OMG!!! My future Master was already looking out for me!"
"Yes, boy. And one day I was telling Dad about your situation and He told me that if someone didn't take charge of you, you'd be bullied your entire life. That's when I knew for sure that you could never live your life like a free man, that you had to be owned and that I was going to be the one who would own you for Myself."
Tears came to my eyes. "Master, how can I ever thank You enough?"
"By being a good boy and by obeying Me in all things and by accepting My discipline and My training and all My decisions about your life. And by loving Me."
"Billy, I love You so much." A tear falls. Billy takes out his handkerchief and pours some water on it and uses it to wipe the tear and Henry's spit off my face. I start purring inside. then I start getting upset.
"What is it, boy? What's going on with you?"
"Master, I get bullied a lot at work."
"Tell me more."
"My boss is very mean to me and embarrasses me in front of the others sometimes, and a couple of the guys are starting to treat me the way He does."
"How do you deal with it, alex?"
"Well up until now I used to keep telling myself that some day I'm going to be someone's slave so I might as well get used to it."
"There is a very big difference between the way an experienced Master treats a slave and bullying. Do you ever feel like I'm bullying you, boy?"
"No, Master. Never comes to mind. You give me what I deserve, and if You treat me harshly or roughly, it's because I deserve it and because You are working hard to train me to be exactly the kind of slave You know I need to be."
"Listen alex: you might get bullied a bit at the ranch tomorrow. I'm not exactly sure what the situation is there, but Master Leroy told me that cory would look out for you, so take whatever happens and try not to think of it as being bullied. Master Leroy has His crew well trained and they are obviously used to being around gay slave boys, because other Men I know send their boys there to work as well. So in all likelihood it must be a relatively humane set-up. Just take whatever happens, okay?"
"Yes, Master, for You."
"Good boy. Let's get going. You have an appointment with the strap when we get home, and then you have to go downstairs to clean up the dungeon and get your cage ready for the night. I'll go down to show you what has to be done, so you won't be alone. And I'm locking you up early tonight and giving you something to help you sleep. We have to be up at 6 am tomorrow so I can clean you out and we'll have time for breakfast."
"Master?"
"What is it, child?"
"May Your slave suck Your Cock when we get home?"
"After your punishment, yes. I like it when you ask Me that. Off we go."
I'm quiet on the way home, thinking over all the things that have happened and what Master has told me. It hasn't even begun to set in that He told me He's going to marry me.
This author (robbie) is a sub and enjoys corresponding with brother subs about turn-ons in the story and in our regular lives as subs.
It is also HONORED by the emails it receives from Doms and Masters. It knows its place and responds with appropriate etiquette, humility and gratitude that You are kind enough to write to it and work with it and sometimes offer advice and discipline.
subkodak25@gmail.com
THANK YOU all!