This story, a work of fiction, is told in alternating segments from the perspectives of a young dermatologist named Wade and his even younger neighbor, a barber named Jeremy.
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- Damian
WADE:
My brother Tim was 38 now and twice divorced. We both lived on the West Coast, but a few hundred miles apart. We had never been as close as my sister and I were, and "the incident" when he was 16 had seemed to drive us even farther apart. Like I said, it was three weeks before I could even look him in the eye after he had tried to get me to stroke his hard dick in his bedroom.
He had his circle of friends and I...well, I was a bookworm with no real friends other than our sister when I was growing up. After "the incident," Tim and I rarely spent any time together, and I certainly never went into his room again. I never saw him naked again, although once or twice I caught him shaving in his underwear. I think he was embarrassed at what had happened, and neither of us ever spoke about it to the other. He went to college at 18, and we seldom saw each other after that, except at a few holidays and at our parents' funerals.
We would shake hands and make polite conversation in our adult years, but we never let our conversation stray into anything emotional or heavy. I felt bad about it, and maybe he did, too, but any trust or bond we might have had with each other seemed to blow away like a pile of leaves in a high wind after that night so many years ago.
That's why it was so surprising when Tim called me one weekend about three months after I had met Jeremy. He had never paid me a visit before, but he was coming to a nearby town on business and wanted to "get together." Of course I said yes, but inside I was in turmoil over his impending visit. Jeremy still had his place and I had mine, but we had dinner together almost every night and spent most of our weekends together.
I talked to Jeremy about the situation. He was curious to meet this "phantom" brother of mine, but we both knew that I hadn't yet come out to him and how hard it was for me to even think of doing so. He took the high road and suggested that we stay apart during Tim's visit and see how things went before trying to have a three-way meeting. I respected him for being sensitive to my feelings -- it was just one more reason to love the guy. The embers of passion had not subsided one bit since that weekend when he took my virginity, and I continued to love him more and more as I got to know him better.
Tim was to arrive on a Friday evening and stay with me until Sunday. I was a nervous wreck wondering how we could ever spend that much time alone with each other. There wasn't much in my house that could have tipped anyone off that I was gay, and even less evidence of my new relationship with Jeremy, but I busied myself preparing the guest room for Tim's visit. It had rarely been used and needed a little sprucing up.
I steeled myself for the impending weekend with my long-lost brother, not having much in the way of plans for how to pass the time. He'd never been to my city before, so at least we could spend our days sightseeing. But it was how we would spend the nights that left my stomach in knots.
On Thursday night Jeremy and I were having one last dinner together before going our separate ways for the weekend. We were just sitting down to eat when the doorbell rang. I figured it was some kid wanting to sell me something to raise money for a school project -- that happened fairly often in this neighborhood. I excused myself and grabbed my wallet. When I opened the door, there stood Tim with his bag! I went ashen.
"Hi, Wade. Slight change of plans. I was going to call you to let you know I got free a day early, but I forgot to plug in my cell phone last night, and the only place I had your number was in my cell phone directory. Hope it's okay if we start our weekend a bit early."
"Uh, er, sure, Tim. Come on in. I was just about to sit down to dinner, but there's enough to go around."
I was in panic mode but trying not to show it. Tim came in, and we shook hands and he dropped his bag in the foyer.
"Do you want to clean up before we eat?" I was stalling for time, thinking I could shoo Jeremy out the back door while Tim was upstairs getting settled.
"No, I'm good," he said. "But I sure could use a drink. What've you got?"
A second later he spotted Jeremy, who had come from the kitchen to see what was going on.
"Oh, you've got company, Wade. I'm so sorry. Should I come back later?"
I wanted to say "Yes, please!" but I didn't want to turn Tim away. I'd deal with this somehow.
"No, that's fine. Stay. This is my neighbor Jeremy Wilson. I invited him over for dinner, but there's enough for three."
"Hi, Jeremy -- Tim Daniels. I'm Wade's sorry excuse for a big brother. Glad to meet you."
"Same here, Tim. Wade's mentioned you."
"Oh?" Tim looked blankly at him, wondering what had been said about him.
"Let's go eat before the food gets cold, fellas," I interjected, before this could get any more awkward.
Since we were ready to eat, Tim decided to skip the highball and just have some wine with us. We chatted amiably over dinner without really saying much of interest. We mostly talked about our jobs. Jeremy excused himself fairly soon after dinner and went back across the street, and Tim and I continued to chat, although it was getting increasingly more difficult. To my relief, he didn't ask anything about Jeremy, choosing to prattle on about sports, the weather, the upcoming elections, etc., etc. I just nodded and smiled while I cleared the table and put the dishes in the dishwasher.
By that time, Tim was starting to yawn and said he'd like to take a shower and turn in pretty soon. He'd been working hard all week and hadn't gotten much sleep. That was more than fine with me. I showed him to the guest room, showed him how to turn on that tricky shower (before he could get undressed!), and retreated to my room to try to get my nerves under control. I tossed and turned for an hour or so and then drifted off into a fitful sleep, wishing for one reason that Jeremy was beside me but happy for a different reason that he wasn't tonight.
All went well the next day. Tim slept in, and I called him from work to let him know I could come home for lunch if he liked. He'd never spent time alone in my house before, so I kept thinking about what he might find if he got snoopy. We had a quick lunch together, and then he went out on his own in the afternoon. When I got home, he was watching TV in the den in his briefs and a t-shirt. I felt uneasy.
"Hi, Doc," he said, smiling. "Hope you don't mind me chillin' out here like this."
"Make yourself comfortable here, Tim. Just don't answer the doorbell that way."
I glanced down at his legs. I think he noticed. Despite his "advanced age" and his hard-driving lifestyle, I had to admit that he was still a good-looking man. I noticed he'd fixed himself a drink.
"Hope you don't mind me drinking your liquor," he said. "I found a bottle of scotch in your pantry."
"No problem -- that's what it's there for."
Actually it was there for Jeremy. I never drink the stuff. But tonight I decided I would -- and not just to be sociable.
"I should get dressed for dinner, I guess. Meant to do that before you got home."
"Yes, I thought we'd eat out tonight. There isn't much in the refrigerator. I should stock up tomorrow."
Suddenly the reality of a whole weekend with Tim hit me like a slap in the face. How was I going to get through this? I'd put in a hard week at work, and all I wanted was to snuggle up with Jeremy and shut the world out. I ached for his touch.
We made it through dinner and a little TV afterward. The next morning I went to the store for some groceries before Tim even got up. I called Jeremy on my cell phone while I was out, just to check in and hear his voice. I intentionally stalled for time before returning. When I got home, Tim had run a load of laundry, saying that he was out of clean underwear and socks. He was wearing one of my robes, I noticed. I wondered if he had anything on under it. Somehow I doubted it. As we were having coffee and toast in the kitchen, the robe came open, but not far enough for me to know for sure.
Some people have a distinctive body odor -- not necessarily a bad one. Suddenly I was taken back 20 years as I noticed an aura in the air that had always been Tim's. I hadn't thought about it in a long time, but he was one of those people. His masculine scent was mixed with the scent of fresh soap, and I knew without asking that he'd showered while I was at the store. I felt sweat in my armpits.
"Wade, do me a favor," he finally said, after a long pause in the conversation.
"What's that, Tim?"
"Well, this is kind of embarrassing, but a rash broke out on my butt this week, and I'd like you to take a look at it and tell me what to do."
My heart started pounding. Before I could even say anything, Tim stood up in the middle of my kitchen, turned his back to me, and dropped the robe on the floor. My hunch had been correct -- he was naked!
He wasn't kidding about the rash. It covered most of his ass and had even started down the back of his thighs. I recognized it as something pretty common. Despite my extreme agitation at seeing Tim naked for the first time in 21 years, I tried to use my most professional voice as I looked him over and told him the name of an over-the-counter medication that I knew would take care of it quickly.
"Maybe you'd better take a look at both sides," he said, slowing turning around to face me.
I tried to stop him, but the words caught in my throat as he turned and presented me with his manly full frontal nudity. There was no rash on his front side, except for a little on the inside of his thighs. He opened up one leg at a time, turning his knees out so I could get a better look.
"Yes, I see," I muttered, nearly frozen with fear at seeing my brother completely naked again. His powerful, lean body was fully on display to me, just like when he was 16. He still looked amazing, and I just stared in awe of the man. I felt his power enveloping me and making me feel 12 years old again. I could hardly breathe.
His soft cock, uncut like mine of course, started lengthening. No words were spoken. I looked up at his face, and there was a smirk there -- the same slightly arrogant one he'd had on his face on "that" night so many years ago. I looked at him blankly, and he knew he had me in his power again. I looked down, and his cock was now pointing toward me. My insides felt like jelly.
"Why did you run from my room that night, Wade?" he finally said, softly. "Didn't you like what you saw? Didn't you really want to stay? Stay and keep touching it? Touching it like you want to right now? You ran out on me when I needed you, Wade. Why did you do that?"
This was beyond surreal. His sensuous voice sounded like he was 16 again. After a few seconds, I finally found my voice.
"You... scared me that night, Tim. I was only 12. You were my big brother. I had always looked up to you. I was...feeling things inside that I...didn't think I should be feeling. It didn't seem right. I couldn't...do what you wanted me to. I was all mixed up inside and got scared...had to get out of there."
My brother's cock was steely hard now, standing straight up. His helmet had completely emerged from his foreskin, and I could see a drop of pre-cum on his slit. His cock twitched with his pulse. My own was uncomfortably hard in my clothing. His large balls hung invitingly in their sac, one slightly lower than the other. I couldn't help but stare at his bare naked genitals. He was beautiful, just like when he was 16...only more so now.
"You're gay, aren't you, Wade? I knew it back then and I know it now. I did your laundry along with mine this morning. There were briefs in your hamper that were size 34 -- they'd never fit your skinny body. But they'd fit Jeremy's perfectly. Wouldn't they, Wade?"
Our eyes met again. I wanted to look away, but I couldn't. I felt like he had ripped me open and looked into my very soul, fully exposing my innermost thoughts -- thoughts that I never wanted him to know.
I silently nodded my head yes. It was out in the open now. Finally.
"Why didn't you tell me before, Wade? You could have...should have...a long time ago. I wanted you to stay that night, little brother. I wanted you to look at me. Admire me. Touch me. Make me shoot. I wanted that -- all of it. You wanted it, too. We could have had some fun with each other. But no, you had to run off and leave me there in my room...naked and hard."
Another agonizing pause. I was frozen in place. The only part of me that moved was my wildly throbbing heart.
"Naked and hard like I am right now, Wade. Right in front of you. You liked it then and you like it now. Are you going to run out on me again? Leave me like this? This is your second chance, little brother. You blew your first chance all those years ago. It's back now. I'm back. I want you to make it up to me. You owe it to me."
"No, Tim, I...I can't." I felt shaken to my core.
"Sure you can, little brother," he said, smiling and taking my hand and pulling it toward his perfect cock, the same one he had wrapped my reluctant 12-year-old fingers around. Just as he brought my grown-up fingers into contact with his bare, throbbing flesh, I yanked my hand away and stood up, looking him right in the eye.
"No, Tim!"
He stared at me, disbelieving. Somewhere from deep inside me, I found the right words. I found the voice that had been missing. I would have found it anyway, but Jeremy's unexpected presence strengthened my resolve to finally put things right. Tim couldn't see that Jeremy had just appeared at my open back door and was watching this scenario with curiosity and interest.
"You're my brother, for God's sake! You messed me up all those years ago. Do you have any idea what you did to me? I stifled my sexuality for 20 years because of you, Tim. I couldn't do anything more than look at guys after that. I spent eight fucking years doing nothing but learning how to be a doctor. I never went out on a date...never touched another man but for medical reasons...could never let anyone hold me, kiss me, show me they cared."
My whole body shook as I poured out years of pent-up anger and frustration.
"Do you know how much I needed that, Tim? I could've had that a lot sooner if you hadn't scared the shit out of me all those years ago. I was a virgin until I was 33, Tim. A virgin! I know I'd still be one if that wonderful man behind you hadn't moved in across the street."
Tim whirled around and saw Jeremy standing at the door. He quickly reached down for his robe -- my robe -- but I yanked it away from him. He looked stunned. His erection faded as quickly as it had started moments ago.
"No, Tim, you're going to stand there naked and hear me out. I'm taking my power back, and you're going to listen. You see that man there? That's what my life is all about now, big brother. You wouldn't understand that, would you? You wouldn't know about real love, about treating people with respect and affection. I didn't need sex from you when I was 12, Tim -- I needed you to love me! I wanted you to hug me, not seduce me. I was your little brother, and I looked up to you. You were my idol until that night. Mom and Dad were too busy with their lives to show me much affection. I thought maybe you could help fill that void, but I was wrong.
"Do you even notice how close Jeanie and I became after that night, Tim? I turned to her because she was the one person in our family who truly cared about me. She loved me, Tim, just like I had tried to love you. But you didn't want my love -- you only wanted sex. That's all you wanted this morning, too, but you're not going to get it! I save that for Jeremy. He's my soul mate now -- the only man I can turn to who loves me for who I am...who respects my feelings and tries to understand me. Do you have any idea how important that is?"
Spent, I handed Tim the robe. Not even bothering to throw it on, he ran upstairs without a word. I crossed the room, fell into Jeremy's arms, and sobbed like I had never in my life done.
His aura still permeated the room, but the emotional headlock that Tim had had on me all these years was finally gone and I felt almost reborn. The spell had been broken, and I had done it. I had done it!
Jeremy was still holding me when Tim came back into the kitchen 20 minutes later. We both turned to look at him. Dressed now and looking very chastened, he had brought his belongings down and was obviously ready to leave. Like mine, his eyes were red.
"Do you want me to leave, Tim?" Jeremy offered, still standing there with his arms around me.
"No, stay. I'd like both of you to hear this." He looked down at the floor, then back at us.
"I...I had no idea, Wade. I never wanted to hurt you. I did love you, but I didn't know how to show it. I thought maybe letting you see me naked and letting you touch me would be something you'd like. But I...realize now that I was only looking for a sexual thrill out of it. I didn't think about how it would affect you. I never had a big brother, so I didn't understand how much you looked up to me and wanted me to love you.
"You're right about our parents. We didn't get all we needed from them, did we? I guess I grew up emotionally bankrupt, and my failed marriages are proof that I never learned how to properly love someone.
"I'll be leaving now, but thanks for helping me understand. I'm glad you and Jeremy have found what you need from each other. I thought gays just fucked all the time and didn't have the feelings that you two obviously have for one another. Maybe I've...been barking up the wrong tree all these years -- I'm going to go home and see about finding a Jeremy of my own, if anyone will have me.
"Take good care of my little brother for me, Jeremy. I do care about him...much more than he'll ever know. Wade, I'm so sorry."
He set his stuff down and started toward me. I met him halfway and finally got the hug that I'd been craving from him all my life -- a long, tight, healing hug that I would remember for the rest of my life.
When we finally broke the hug, he gave me a big smile and a kiss on the forehead. He turned to shake hands with Jeremy, but they wound up in a hug also.
"Could I come back sometime and see you guys?" he asked, and we reassured him that we would like that very much. "Who knows? Maybe I won't have to come alone next time."
Tim left. I felt emotionally drained but elated that the truth had come out and that I could begin to build a new, healthier relationship with my brother. It was long overdue, but it was finally going to happen. And it wouldn't have happened if Jeremy hadn't come into my life when he did.
JEREMY:
As Tim drove off, I took Wade's hand and led him upstairs and we held each other in bed for several hours. There was no sex, but in holding him I wanted to give him something that I thought he needed even more. I was so proud of the way he had finally stood up to his brother and made peace with him. As he fell asleep in my arms, I kissed his closed eyelids. "I love you, Wade," I whispered.
After a shower together, we went out to eat, and then came home, undressed, and got back into bed. He took the lead this time and made love to me the same way I had made love to him the first time we were in his bed together, bringing us both to a powerful climax before we drifted off to sleep.
WADE:
Tim kept in touch regularly with me after that. It wasn't always easy to sustain a conversation with him on the phone, or even by e-mail, but gradually we learned to get more and more comfortable with each other. He did start seeing other men, looking for his "Jeremy," but no one quite measured up to the shining knight on a white horse that he wanted so desperately to find.
I got the surprise of my life on my next birthday. Jeremy took me to one of our favorite restaurants in town, and we were led to a small room in the back with a table for six. My mouth fell open. There sat my wonderful sister Jeanie and her husband Rob -- who had flown in all the way from Minnesota -- and Tim and a man I never had seen before, whom Tim introduced as Colin. It was my first-ever surprise birthday party. They stayed in town all weekend, and we had the best family reunion I could ever have hoped for. In Colin, it appeared that Tim had finally met someone who might turn his life around. I was thrilled for them.
Shortly after that, Jeremy rented his house to another family and moved. He didn't need a moving van this time, however. He just hired a couple of teenagers to carry his stuff and walked across the street to share a house that had always been too big for one.
That long-empty spot on the other side of my bed would never again go unoccupied. Jeremy -- my sweet, hunky, adorable, sexy man -- was in it to stay. No longer would I ever have to sleep alone again -- not that I had for several months!
And on top of it all, I got a lifetime supply of free haircuts. Better yet -- for me especially -- Jeremy got a lifetime of free, very thorough skin examinations. I think it's about time for one again tonight...
THE END
(Thanks so much to all the readers who've sent me their feedback. I hope you've enjoyed this final installment of the story of Wade and Jeremy. If so, drop me a line at nvtahoeus@yahoo.com. I answer every message.)