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Written by: Nicky Smith Edited by: JD Kaster
CHAPTER EIGHT: LOSS
TREY'S POV
"How does this look?" Carter asked as he tried on the fifth outfit he'd pulled together from the clothes he'd brought over. He was supposedly going out for an important date with Sed and he wanted to look his best.
"It looks okay," Dave said adding his opinion.
"Trey, are you gonna chime in?" Carter asked, but I was too busy enjoying the situation.
"Aww, my little boy is all grown up," I teased.
"Trey!" Carter said sounding extremely exasperated.
"Okay," I said before looking through his clothes. "Try this," I said handing him an outfit. He wasted no time changing into what I'd handed him. Dave watched him the whole time and I started to wonder if maybe Dave wasn't as straight as his tryst with Veronica had made him think he was.
"I like it," he said with a smile. Carter was a very reserved guy who rarely showed his emotions. Some would call him a quiet giant, but on those occasions when he did show his emotions, like the smile he had, you could see the real him, and the real him was really good looking.
"Yeah, I think your date is really gonna like it," I said choosing to be vague because as far as I knew, Dave still didn't know Carter was gay.
"Yeah, I hope so. Thanks," he said before surprising me with a hug. I hugged him back.
"Anytime man," I said as we separated.
"Well, I'm out," he said before starting to get his stuff together.
"Leave it. I'll get it together and have it ready for you," I said and he looked grateful as his clothes were kind of scattered around as he just threw stuff whichever way when he pulled it off.
"Thanks again," he said and we fist bumped before he booked it.
"Jeez, this girl must be something else," Dave said after Carter was gone.
"Uh, yeah," I said before gathering Carter's stuff. Dave watched me but I made sure not to look at him as I didn't want to betray anything.
"You have some weird friends," Dave said after about a minute of silence.
"What do you mean by that?" I asked as I grabbed a couple of Carter's shirts off Dave's bed.
"I just mean that before I met you, I didn't see straight guys so close to each other, let alone their gay friend. Sean, Carter, and Christian are really close and protective of you and, I guess it's a new thing for me to see," he said and I guess that was true, except for the fact that Carter wasn't straight. He didn't need to know that though unless Carter wanted him to.
"Sean was a surprise and is actually the first person I came out to. Christian is Liberty's guy and after her last boyfriend I didn't expect much, but he has an old friend that's gay too so I didn't have any problems from him. Carter is... he's cool," I said being vague about Carter as I couldn't think of a good lie for him.
"I guess things aren't like I always thought they were," he said. I guess he was getting more of an education in college than he expected. I was about to respond when my phone rang. I looked at the display and saw that it was Marcus.
"Hey big guy," I said as I answered. I was finished with Carter's clothes by then.
"Hello yourself handsome. How's college treating you?" he asked. I could hear Zander in the background baby talking up a storm.
"It's pretty good. I hear someone in the background," I said and he let loose a deep chuckle.
"Yeah, the little guy and I are playing with his toys. He misses unkie Trey," he said which made me laugh.
"You know he's never called me that," I said even though he could have.
"He will. I'm training him now," Marcus said before saying something to Zander that I couldn't hear.
"What did you say to him?" I asked.
"That's between the two of us," he said sounding highly amused so it must have been a doozy.
"I'm telling Wayne on you," I said and he laughed.
"I'm not scared," he said which I'm sure was bullshit.
"Yeah right," I said and I heard Zander laugh in the background so that was my cue that he was.
"What are you laughing at little guy?" he asked in baby talk so I knew he was talking to Zander.
"He knows you're full of shit," I said and he snorted.
"You're mean," he said in a mock pouty tone.
"So, what up with you?" I asked as I crashed on my bed.
"I just wanted to call to see how things are going with you," he said. I don't know why, but I felt like something was wrong.
"Are you sure?" I asked and prepared to listen and see if I heard anything.
"Yeah I'm sure. I called my idiot brother and we shot the shit for a bit so I just had to call my favorite grey eyed hottie and see how he was doing," he said and I guess I was satisfied with his answer. He didn't sound any different but there was this slight feeling that I just couldn't shake.
"Okay and thanks for the compliment. I'll be sure to tell Wayne," I said and he chuckled.
"You should hear all the stuff Wayne says about you. It's enough to give you a permanent big head, in more ways than one," he said before snickering at his own bad joke.
"Yeah, yeah, `Everybody Loves Trey'," I joked.
"They do. The sane people do at least, so don't forget that," he said sounding very serious.
"Are you sure you're okay?" I asked him again.
"Yup. I need to go though because the little guy needs to go potty," he said.
"Aw, you finally learned how to go potty," I joked and he couldn't stop himself from laughing in time.
"Jerk," he said but I heard the smile in his tone.
"Okay, see ya later," I said. We both said more partings before ending the call.
"Does Bear know you talk to that Marcus guy?" Dave asked.
"Why?" I asked as I rolled over to look at him. He looked thoughtful.
"You were kind of flirty with him," he said and I had to fight to keep from laughing at him.
"That's just the way we are. Bear knows and they deal with it whenever they see each other by posturing and doing that dance that guys do that Bear usually wins," I said. He seemed to think on it for a minute before shrugging and changing the subject to the fact that he was hungry. I agreed and we headed out to eat at The Cove.
"Dude, wake up," I heard in an annoying voice that wouldn't let me sleep. I was up late finishing a paper and I was tired. The paper wasn't due for over a week, but I was a perfectionist and wanted to be finished before time.
"Go away," I mumbled as I waved my hand at the annoying person.
"Fine. I'll just tell Bear that you're too sleepy to talk," the person said and that woke me up real quick.
"Give me the phone," I said more alert as I sat up. He laughed before handing the phone over.
"Hey lover," I said trying to sound flirty but the yawn killed that. Dave laughed at me again before heading out of the room.
"Did I wake you up?" Bear asked sounding concerned.
"Yeah, but I needed to wake up anyway," I said through another.
"Sorry baby," he said but I wasn't sorry. I'd wake up early if it meant I could talk to him.
"Don't be. Now that I'm awake though I'm hungry," I said and he chuckled a little bit.
"What would you like?" He asked in a deep sexy tone.
"Well, there's two things I could have. Some coffee and a big, thick, juicy sausage... and biscuit sandwich," I said finishing my trolling of him.
"Damn, you had me going for a second," he said sounding kind of disappointed.
"I know," I said.
We talked for a little bit, mostly about our time together the previous weekend. After the unpleasantness, we managed to have a great time together. We didn't get too sexually involved because I was worried that we wouldn't be able to be quiet and would end up outing ourselves. Bear wasn't happy at first, but I was able to make him happy with our restricted activities.
I told him about Carter and his date that must have been insane because he had been walking around with a permanent smile on his face for the last few days since then. Bear joked that Carter probably had finally gotten plowed because he remembered his first time bottoming for me and that it was incredible.
I took delight in the fact that he'd had a great time our first time with me as top. The memory of that first time started to get me hot so I changed the subject. We talked about finally going home for the weekend to finally appease our mothers and made a plan to do so before we said goodbye and I ended the call.
I got up and stretched before I started looking for some clothes for the day. Dave made it back just as I was finished getting my things together. He threw on his clothes and grabbed his backpack because he had a class soon. He said he'd see me later before leaving.
I went to take a shower and got dressed and headed for The Cove for a cup of coffee and a bran muffin that I ate and drank on the way to class. I made it through my first three classes with Pilar again talking my ear off as always.
I was headed for my dorm after my 3rd class when I had this sudden weird feeling. It was brief, but still significant. I just shrugged it off though and headed for the dorm. When I arrived I saw Jessica and Light looking over some piece of paper while Liberty sipped on a cup of what looked like coffee.
"Hey girls," I said as I sat down next to Liberty.
"Hey," Liberty said before she handed me one of the 4 cups that sat on the table and I didn't even realize that I was cold until I held the cup.
"Thanks," I said before taking a sip.
"No problem," she said before directing her attention to the book and notepad she had on her lap.
"What are they doing?" I asked referring to Jessica and Light who seemed to not know I was there.
"Some plan for an event at the Sorority," she said without taking her attention from what she was doing.
"Oh hey Trey. I didn't know you had made it back," Jessica said as she and Light looked up.
"Oblivious," Liberty mumbled.
"You know, you should be helping us with this," Light said sternly.
"No thanks. You two kiss ups can do that. I'll just do other stuff, like study for finals," she said sounding really judgmental.
"Whatever," Jessica said before her and Light went back to looking over the papers they were looking over. Just then I noticed Christian walking over to us with two big Styrofoam cups.
"Here you go babe," Christian said to Liberty as he reached us and handed her one of the cups and a spoon. He sat down between Liberty and I and greeted me with a head nod which I returned.
"What's that," I asked as I looked into his cup.
"Chicken Soup. You want some?" He asked as he held up a spoon with a hearty looking helping of noodles and veggies on it.
"No thanks," I said. I wasn't a fan of Chicken soup unless it was made by my mother.
"Are you really trying to feed him with your spoon?" Liberty asked as she eyeballed Christian.
"Yeah, why?" He asked looking confused.
"Um hm," she hummed before going back to her soup.
"Oh please. Stop trippin'," he said before laying his head on my shoulder like he was trying to get comfortable. I laughed but played along by rubbing my hand through his very short hair.
"Go ahead, and I'll just take Bear," she said after mock glaring at us for a few seconds.
"Nope. I turned him out," I joked. I was serious though too.
"We'll see," Liberty said before she flipped me the bird and I was about to respond in kind when my phone rang. I looked and saw that it was Calvin. I wondered why he was calling when he should still be at school for a couple more hours. He was probably ditching.
"Yo," I said as I answered.
"Bro, where's Sean?" Calvin said in a tone I didn't like.
"In class I guess," I said while trying to think over Sean's schedule. "Why, what is it?" I asked as I didn't like Calvin's tone.
"We've been trying to call him but he won't answer. You need to find him," Calvin said and he definitely wasn't making me feel any better.
"Why?" I asked in a tone that I didn't like. I guess it really was bad as my friends took notice.
"Trey...," Calvin said before trailing off.
"What is it?" I asked impatiently and probably too loudly.
"Bro, Marcus is dead," he said and I must have heard him wrong.
"What did you say?" I asked in a shaky tone.
"He's gone man," Calvin said sounding emotional. He couldn't be gone. I'd just talked to him a few days ago.
"What happened?" I said as I tried to keep myself together.
"A guy hit him while he was crossing the street this morning headed to work. They think he was drunk," Calvin said. I was swamped by so many emotions. I was sad for the loss of a close friend, I was sad for my best friend who'd just lost his brother. I was sad for Wayne who'd just lost his husband and Zander his father. I had a sudden need to see Bear, and I was beyond furious at this driver who's just brought tragedy to a family because he had to drink in the morning.
"I'll find him," I said in as calm a tone as I could muster. He told me to call him once I'd talked to Sean. I said I would and ended the call.
My friends jumped on me the second I got off the phone to tell them what was going on. It took me a minute to get my thoughts together before I told them. They were all shocked, even Light who'd never even met Marcus. I told them I had to find Sean and got up. Liberty said she'd go with me and we headed out.
I couldn't remember what class he might have at the moment so I made a call to his cell to see if he would pick up. It went straight to voicemail so he didn't have it on. Liberty suggested we head for the athletic department so we did. We were almost there when I got the idea to call Carter. He answered and told me he and Sean were just done with practice and Sean was still in the showers.
I told him to get Sean and meet me where Liberty and I had stopped which was a small garden area near the athletic complex. He tried to find out what was wrong, but I didn't tell him. I did tell him to act like nothing was wrong. He gave up and told me they'd be here soon.
As we waited on them, I thought back to all the times I'd talked to Marcus. I remembered the first time I'd saw him. It confirmed for me that I was gay after a period of questioning it after another period of time that I'd managed to suppress my feeling for Bear.
He had those eyes that could cut right through you and see what was hiding inside. He had such a strong personality, but he was also kind and caring, especially to people he cared about. He helped me a lot with my decision to make up with Bear, and I looked to his marriage to Wayne as an attainable goal for me and Bear.
"Here he comes. Try to look more neutral than you do now," Liberty said and she was right. I didn't wanna let him know something was wrong right away.
"Yo dude, what's up?" Sean said as he and Carter reached us. He looked kind of happy and I hated that I had to do this.
"Where's your phone?" I asked to stall for time. I needed to drum up the courage to tell him.
"It's in a bowl of rice in coach's office. I dropped it in the toilet. I'm just glad I hadn't used it yet," he said. He sounded upbeat and I hated that I had to hurt him like this.
"Sean..." I started but the words got stuck in my throat.
"What is it?" He asked as he looked at me. I guess I hadn't been doing a good job of being neutral. Liberty walked over, took ahold of his hand and got him to sit down with her. He looked at her like she was crazy or something because that was very out of character for her, especially in regard to him.
"Sean, I have something to tell you," I said as I tried to force myself to look at him.
"What is it?" He asked again, but this time he sounded like he could tell that I was about to destroy him.
"Calvin called because he couldn't get in contact with you, and-."
"Just say it!" He said forcefully interrupting me.
"Marcus is dead," I said. I saw what I said register for him and it was a horrible thing to see.
"No he's not," he said as he yanked his hand from Liberty's grasp and stood up.
"Calvin said-" I tried but he interrupted me.
"I said he's not! He's not... that thing you said!" He near shouted. I could understand how he was feeling because I'm sure I would be the same way if this was about Zane, or Calvin.
"Sean..." Liberty said in her most motherly tone. Sean wasn't hearing it though.
"I said it's not true. I'll prove it to you," he said before storming off.
"Call Justice," I said to Liberty before rushing off to catch him.
I finally caught up with him at the parking lot. I asked him what he was doing, but all he did was look at me briefly before getting into his car. The door to the passenger side unlocked afterwards so I hopped in. He looked at me again before starting up his car, backing up and peeling out of the parking lot.
I asked him where he was going a few times with no answer, but after he got on the highway I knew where he was going. I stayed quiet for the rest of the drive. I spent that time thinking about a lot of stuff. I thought about what I would do if either of my brothers or sisters had died. I thought the same about my parents and my friends. My mind wouldn't let me go there with Bear though and I'm glad for that.
Just before we made it back to town I got a text from Bear that said "Take care of Sean" and another that said "I love you". I texted him back that I loved him too. I needed him at the moment, especially when we entered town and I saw all the familiar things that I had grown up looking at.
I was suddenly regretful that it had been 3 months since I'd been home. My brother never went that long without coming home other than after he'd attacked me. I heard a sniffle coming from my left and looked to see Sean trying to keep a stone-faced expression but I could see his eyes were red and wet. I wished at that moment that I had brought someone else with me.
We soon reached Sean's neighborhood and driving down the street towards his house was kind of surreal. Just before we reached his house I got a text from Liberty. It was a video of what looked like a news report. I read the description and didn't need to look further into it, especially when we reached Sean's house and saw quite a few cars there.
As we pulled in, I could see my Dad's car as well as Bear's mother's car. Even Liberty and Justice's dad's car was there which was odd so something must have happened. Sean just sat there looking forward with his fists gripping the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles were red.
"Sean, let's go inside," I said as gently as I could.
"No," he said through gritted teeth.
"Why not?" I asked making sure I didn't sound confrontational.
"Everything's fine. As long as I sit here, everything is fine. If I go in there, things won't be fine anymore," he said and I could understand that. Reality would have to set in when he went into that house and saw his grieving family, but as long as he was out here, he was safe from that reality.
"Okay. We'll just sit here then," I said and that seemed like it helped him if even a tiny bit because his grip on the steering wheel loosened.
We sat there looking at the house that contained a grieving family. Deanne and Dexter who'd lost their oldest son, Alex who'd lost one of his big brothers, and Wayne who'd lost his husband. I couldn't imagine it and I didn't want to. Just thinking about how much this was hurting Sean was a lot to handle so putting myself into his shoes was out of the question.
I was startled when I heard Sean's door open. He looked at me with such a pained look that it broke my heart. I wanted to shield him from this but I couldn't. He stepped out of the car and I got out as well. He took a deep breath before walking up to the house with me dragging along behind him.
He made it to the door and turned the knob but didn't push the door in. He looked back at me as if pleading with me not to let him go through the door. I couldn't stop him from doing that, but I did walk up to him and take his hand off the door knob. I held that hand and opened the door. I walked in and I could hear talking coming from the family room so that's where I headed while almost dragging Sean along.
When we walked into the room, I saw his mother first and the pain on her face was almost too much to handle. Everyone looked up and saw that it was us. His mother stood and headed towards him as he stepped away from me and walked to her. She clutched onto him when she reached him and squeezed him in a tight hug.
My parents came over and both hugged me tight. I didn't try and fight it because I understood where they were at. Calvin got up from sitting next to Alex and came over as well and joined in on the crushing hug which I welcomed because I missed him too.
"What happened?" Sean finally asked. His voice was hoarse from the unshed tears and held in emotions. His mother looked over at me and I guess she was wondering why I hadn't told him.
"I didn't get the chance to tell him what happened," I said and she nodded before turning back to him.
"A damned drunk driver killed him. That's what fucking happened," Alex exploded.
"Alex! Watch your mouth," Mrs. Mellow said before bursting into tears. Sean held onto her again while Calvin walked over and tried to comfort Alex as he started crying too. My mother started crushing me again in another hug while my dad rubbed her back. I couldn't take this anymore so I pulled myself from my mother's grasp and headed outside. I pulled out my phone and called Bear as fast as I could.
"Hello," he said kind of formally so he must had been around other people.
"I need you," said before I could stop myself.
"Okay. I'll be there as soon as I can," he said before the call ended.
I took a deep breath to try and steel myself for what I needed to do. Sean was my best friend and I had to be there for him just as he'd been there for me when I needed him. I headed back into the house and saw that Sean was sitting with his mother now. I started to head over there but the door opening stopped me.
I looked over and from where I was standing I could see that it was Mr. Mellow walking in with Wayne behind him. They walked in and for the rest of my life, I will say that at that moment, I regretted making eye contact with Wayne.
There was so much going on in there that it literally scared me. I don't know why, but seeing him with that hollow look in those once vibrant eyes struck me deeply. I was then overcome with a feeling that seemed familiar. It was like I'd felt it before, but nowhere near this strong. I didn't want to feel it anymore so I looked away from Wayne as soon as I could. I regretted that though so I forced myself to look back.
They reached me at that time and Mr. Mellow just gave me a pat on the shoulder before walking into the family room. Wayne though stopped in front of me. I had to hug him which I did. He hugged me back and shocked me when he whispered "don't be scared" in my ear. I stepped back from him and just looked at him, but he just simply smiled a sad heartbroken smile and walked on into the family room.
I walked in just as Sean had finished hugging his dad. He also got one in with Wayne before they both sat down
"How is he?" Mrs. Mellow asked in a hollow tone?
"He didn't look bad, considering," Wayne said.
"What do you mean he doesn't look bad? He's dead! Who the hell cares how he looks?" Alex said angrily.
"Alex!" Mr. Mellow said trying to calm him down. It didn't look like it worked though.
"No! This fucker killed Marcus and we're just sitting here," he said almost shouting.
"Dude. Don't do this now," Sean said sounding like he was barely keeping it together.
"Fuck you Sean! We haven't seen you for months and now you come home and have the nerve to try and tell me what to do? Go back to school with your friends and leave us alone!" Alex shouted and the pained look that came over Sean's face hurt me.
"Alex! Not cool man," Calvin said as he shook his head.
"Sorry," Sean said before he dropped his head and walked out of the room. His parents tried to stop him, but he wouldn't let them. I know that Alex was grieving, but that didn't stop me from glaring at him for going off on Sean like that.
"What the fuck are you glaring at me for?" He actually asked me.
"Alex! I will not tell you again to stop this," his father said. Alex looked about ready to explode but he sat back down. I noticed that Calvin didn't try to comfort him this time.
"I'm gonna go check on Sean," I said before making sure I did glare at Alex again before leaving. I know he was upset but that was no reason to take his anger and sadness out on Sean.
I went to look for Sean in his room but he wasn't there. I thought for a second before heading for Marcus' old room. I walked in and found Sean looking around at Marcus' posters and trophies. He looked so sad right then and I had a sudden thought of wondering where Zane was.
"He's really gone, isn't he?" Sean asked.
"I think so," I said. He nodded and walked around the room some more dragging his fingers over random things like a statue on Marcus' dresser or a bowling trophy that Marcus said he'd gotten on vacation after graduation from college.
"We didn't always get along. He always treated me like I was an annoying brat, even though I wasn't. That changed when I was ten and I was riding my bike. He was supposed to be watching me, but he didn't want to so he ignored me. I went outside and decided to ride my bike. I was riding when a car passed and almost hit me. I lost control and rammed into the gate outside. My leg must have hit something wrong because I felt it twist in a way that I didn't think it should and I felt incredible pain".
"I know I started yelling for help and crying out in pain. After a minute I saw him come running and untangled me from the bike and fence. He looked so worried as he carried me to the house. It was weird because I didn't think he even cared about me. I realize now what was going on with him then but back then I was sad that my brother seemed to not care about me. He apologized and we became much closer. I don't know what I'm gonna do without him," he said ending his story. I never would have guessed that they didn't get along from the way they were since I'd started getting to know them.
"We're gonna be here for you. I'm not gonna let you go through this alone," I said and I guess that was what broke the wall holding back his tears because that's when he collapsed onto the floor and started sobbing. I got on the floor with him and held him while he broke down.
My heart was breaking for Sean and his family, but I also felt a surge of strength from somewhere. Sean had been there for me through a lot and now it was my turn to repay him for that by being the rock that he needed. It was a task that I found was easy once I recognized that's what I needed to do.
He calmed down after about 10 minutes and I used that as a chance to get Sean off the floor. I lead him to his room and he walked to his bed and stared at it for a full minute before dropping down on it. I sat down and he got up and moved up until his back was up against the headboard of his bed. I joined him and after a brief silence he started telling me more stories about his brother.
As he talked, he laid his head on my shoulder and I didn't move him, even when I heard a soft snore from him following a long silence. I knew he needed to be close to someone at the moment and I was more than willing to be there for him.
I was awakened some time later by someone shaking my shoulder. I opened my eyes to see Bear and Justice standing there, both looking sad. I looked and saw that Sean was still asleep so I eased my way from next to him and let Justice take my place. I followed Bear out of the room and when I was sure we were alone I fell into those strong arms of his and let him comfort me.
After a few minutes, we went back downstairs and most everyone was gone except mine and Bear's mothers. Wayne must have been in Marcus' room and Alex in his own room as those doors were closed when Bear and I passed their rooms on the way downstairs.
Bear and I joined our mothers and Sean's parents as they told stories about Marcus and Wayne when they were kids. I could tell that Mrs. Mellow was barely holding back from bursting into tears. Mr. Mellow told the stories when she needed a break which was often but I guess she needed to tell them to cope.
After a couple more hours, my mother decided that it was time to go so Bear and I went to check on Sean. He was still asleep so I told Justice to call if she needed me and we left, although I was unsure if I should leave.
My mother was planning on getting a ride home from Bear's mom since dad had left in his car, but since Bear wanted to take me home, she decided to ride with him. Driving through town was sad after being gone for a while, especially with what had just happened and the fact that it was cold and had just started raining.
We arrived back at the home I hadn't been to in a while and I missed the place. We all got out and made a dash for the door as none of us had an umbrella. When we got inside, the twins jumped us and I hugged them tight as I had missed them. Dad had heated up some soup that I guess my mother had made earlier and we ate some along with some crackers.
The kitchen was quiet as we sat around the table enjoying the delicious soup as I guess we were all thinking about Marcus. After dinner, Calvin went to his room along with the twins to theirs. Mama was looking through her recipes and planning something to cook for the repast already.
Bear dragged me to my room and we laid down on my bed and while it was great to be held by him, I was too preoccupied with Sean to truly enjoy it. Bear left after 11:00 saying he needed to get home. I knew though that after what had happened that he wanted to spend some time with his family. I called Zane and talked with him for a few minutes before going to bed. After changing into a pair of sweats and a t-shirt, I slipped into my bed that I had missed. Before going to sleep I sent Sean a text that said "call me if you need me".
"I can't believe that we're doing this," I said as I looked in the mirror in my room. I was checking to make sure my suit was on right.
It was the day of Marcus's funeral and I still couldn't believe he was dead. Sean had been so quiet over the last week which was so unlike him. I'd stayed over at his house a couple of nights and he didn't seem to be sleeping. I told his dad and he said he'd talk to him, but I wasn't privy to what they'd talked about.
His mother had gotten a bit stronger but she was still prone to sudden crying spells. This day would only make that worse and I wasn't looking forward to it. Alex had become so angry and while I understood that feeling, he was lashing out at his family too and I wasn't happy about that.
"Yeah, tell me about it," Bear said sounding somber. He was sitting on my bed next to Calvin who looked deep in thought. I'm sure it had to do with Alex and the way he was pushing him away, as well as everyone else.
"You okay bro?" I asked as I laid a hand on his shoulder to get his attention.
"Huh? Oh yeah, I'm fine," he lied.
"He'll be fine after some time. He just doesn't know how to deal with this," I said as much to myself as to him.
"Yeah, I hope you're right. I just wish he'd let me in," Calvin said. He then let loose a deep sigh and stood up and smoothed out his dress pants.
"Boys, it's time to go," Mama said as she called up to us.
"Okay, here we come," I called back.
Bear stood and checked himself out in the mirror. He definitely knew how to fit a suit. I would have stopped to appreciate how good he looked for a bit longer, but it wasn't the day for those thoughts so I pushed them aside.
We headed downstairs and my parents as well as my sisters and Zane and Nicole were dressed in black. It was very depressing and sobering that we were about to go to Marcus' funeral. I tried my best to purge the weird feeling that kept popping up because of this, but I just couldn't. Thinking about Sean and being there for him helped though.
Zane and Nicole piled into my parents' SUV along with our parents and sisters. I decided to ride with Bear and Calvin did as well. We got on the way to the funeral home where they were having a last minute viewing before the funeral as it was supposed to be a closed casket funeral.
We arrived at the funeral home and after we all got out, we headed into the building. This place was rather large and the funeral was being held in one of the two large garden areas. When we walked in, Mr. and Mrs. Mellow were just headed into what looked like the viewing room before the door closed behind them.
Sean was standing off to the side with Justice. I was glad that she was with him already even though he still looked really sad. Bear, Calvin and I headed over to them. When we reached them, Bear walked over and gave him a hug which it looked like he only half returned. I followed suit and got the same from him.
"How's it going man?" I asked and managed not to visibly cringe at the bad question. Anyone could see he wasn't doing good.
"Fine," he said in a subdued tone that was very unlike Sean.
"Where's Alex?" Calvin asked, I looked around and didn't see him anywhere.
"He went in first and left out of here after he came out," Justice answered for Sean.
"And Wayne?" I asked as I didn't see him either.
"I think he went to the garden where they're holding the funeral," Justice said and I nodded.
About a minute later Liberty and her parents came in followed by Jessica and her family. The parents went over to my parents while Liberty and Jessica came over to us and hugged Sean. Over the next 10 minutes Veronica, Carter, and Miriam showed up along with their families while Christian arrived alone. Bear's parents and sister came in just after Christian.
Carter and Miriam gave Sean a hug while Christian opted to give him a reassuring pat on the shoulder. Veronica finally hugged him and they hugged for what seemed like a long time. I heard sniffling coming from the both of them and I knew they were comforting each other.
After another 5 minutes Sean's parents exited the viewing room and I could tell his mother had been crying. Mrs. Mellow walked off with our mothers in tow while the dads just stood around Mr. Mellow probably trying to figure our what to do. Some straight men didn't know what to do in these situations.
"I can't go in there alone," Sean said out of the blue. I looked and saw that while I was distracted he had tried to go in to see his brother but couldn't seem to make himself do it.
"We'll go with you," I said. He looked at me for a few seconds and then everyone else before nodding.
He took a hold of Justice's hand and headed for the viewing room and we followed. We walked in and the first thing I saw was the casket. It looked like a cherry wood casket with a superb polish. It shined like new and it was fitting for someone of Marcus' stature.
Sean walked over and laid a tentative hand on his brother's hands that were crossed in front of him. As I moved forward I could see Marcus clearly and I almost couldn't handle it. He looked like he was asleep in his dark suit with a dark green tie. I knew that he wasn't asleep though and that's what was hard to take.
Sean leaned over and kissed his brother on the forehead and I heard him whisper that he loved him before he stepped back. He then took one last look at Marcus before walking out of the room. Everyone else followed after taking a few seconds to say something to Marcus. I was the last one as Bear waited by the door.
"Thank you for being my friend Marcus, and for helping me to stop being stubborn about my feeling for Bear. I'll do everything I can for your family so don't worry about them," I said before getting to choked up to speak anymore. Bear walked over and rubbed my back which managed to calm me some. I took one last look at Marcus before leaving the room.
We all gathered in the garden where Sean's family took the seats in the front. As we headed for our seats, I noticed so many people that I had known for a while were here. I even saw Jeremy and Todd along with Coach Davis. Bear and I took our seats choosing to sit with our parents. They sat together which I saw was them probably knowing that Bear and I wanted to be with them and each other at the same time.
After another 20 minutes after we were seated, the minister walked up onto the platform where Marcus' closed casket sat and spoke to two ladies before they took a seat and he stood at the podium. He looked over something in front of him for a minute before starting.
"Thank you all for coming to say goodbye to Marcus Calloway. He was a beloved son, brother, husband, father, and friend. He touched many lives and there are many that will miss him," the minister said in opening. He continued to give a beautiful eulogy for Marcus that had quite a few people sniffling, by the time he was finished.
After he was finished, there was a small choir that sang a few songs. Veronica surprised me by going up and singing "If I Die Young". That song got to me and I found myself sniffling and trying to keep cool. Veronica didn't look good after she finished and I could hear Mrs. Mellow sobbing.
After the songs the minister asked if there were any that wanted to say something. Mrs. Mellow got up and tried to say something but Mr. Mellow had to go up and get her. Wayne got up and talked about their life together. He basically told the same story they'd told me only he glossed over their break-up.
Veronica said a few words before Alex went up and totally went off about how it was unfair that Marcus was taken away from his family and he wanted the man who was responsible for his death to die a "miserable fucking death alone and suffering". His dad and a couple of his dad's friends tried to get him to stop, but he simply stormed off. Veronica went after him and Calvin followed as well.
The minister took time to let things cool down while he explained that people grieved in many different ways. I think everyone there knew that, but I guess he felt the need to do so. After speaking, he asked if anyone else wanted to speak. He waited for a minute before he was about to go on, but Sean stood up before he got the chance and walked up to the podium.
"Uh, I don't know what to say. I wanted to come up here and say something profound that would be remembered for a long time, but I can't think of anything. It's like I've lost a part of myself since he's been gone. We didn't always get along but when we did, we became fast friends and it's gonna be hard to live without him. I just hope that I make him proud of me with the things I do in life. Thank you". Sean finished and headed back to his seat after pausing for a few seconds to lay a hand on the closed casket.
A woman who looked kind of familiar got up and read some cards that were from people who didn't attend the service before the minister got up and concluded with prayer. Afterwards the pallbearers carried the casket outside and to the hearse for the drive down the street to the graveyard. I wasn't sure I wanted to go and watch then lower Marcus into the ground, but one look at Sean as he looked back at me told me I was going.
Going to the gravesite and watching them lower Marcus into the ground was a soul crushing thing to see. Mrs. Mellow broke down after they had finished lowering him and Mr. Mellow had to carry her back to the car. Alex hadn't lost that pissed off look he'd had mostly since Marcus had died. Sean walked over and stood next to the grave for a minute or so before heading for his car with Justice in tow.
After leaving the gravesite, we headed back to Sean's place for the repast. There were quite a few people there when we all arrived back. Mrs. Mellow was already being comforted by several people, including mine and Bear's mothers.
"Hey Trey," Wayne said as he walked up to me and Bear. All I could think to do was to hug him. I think I startled him because it took him a few seconds to reciprocate the hug.
"How are you doing?" Bear asked him after we released each other.
"I'm doing as well as I can be," Wayne said and we both nodded.
"Did... did your parents come?" I asked hesitantly. I didn't want to upset him more than he already had to be.
"No," he said in a flat tone.
"They didn't even come for this?" I asked as it was astounding to me that they couldn't put their dislike of Wayne's sexuality aside if just for today to be there for him.
"Nope. It's fine though as I didn't expect them. I did expect Willa though," he said and this time I heard the sadness in his voice.
"Hey sweetie," said some woman as she walked up to Wayne. They hugged for about a minute before releasing each other.
"I thought you were coming to the funeral," Wayne said after he stepped back.
"I'm sorry. I was working on something," the woman said before looking toward us.
"Oh, this is Trey and Bear," Wayne said as he pointed to each of us. "Guys, this is Heather," he said. She didn't look like I expected. She looked like the poster girl for Corporate America in a black blazer and pencil skirt to match.
"Hello you two. Wayne has told me so much about you," she said as she shook our hands.
"He has about you as well. It's nice to have a face to go with the name," I said and she smiled.
"Thank you sweetie," she said and pinched my cheek like I was a little kid.
"Heather, don't treat him like a little kid. He's the same age as Sean," Wayne said but Heather just waved a hand at him.
"Lay off her," I heard from behind us. I turned and saw a girl who looked around the same age as me.
"Willa?" Wayne said looking surprised. With this piece of information, I could see that she did indeed look like him down to the stunning eyes.
"This is what I was doing," Heather said with a smile on her face.
"Yeah, and we brought someone to see you," Willa said before beckoning to someone off to her right. I looked over and saw a kid that had to be their little brother. There was a resemblance to the both of them, though not as strong seeing as he had a different father than they did.
"Marvin?" Wayne said as he walked toward him.
"Hey bro," Marvin said as he walked over to meet Wayne. When they reached each other Wayne pulled him into a tight hug. Willa walked over and joined the hug.
I was happy that he was finally getting to see his brother again after 5 years. It was sad though that it took this, him losing his husband whom he shared a child with, to get it. I wondered where at least his mother was if she was willing to let Marvin come to see Wayne.
"At least something good came out of my brother's death," I heard from next to me. I turned to see Sean standing next to me watching the reunion. He had managed to sneak up on me.
"How are you doing now?" I asked. He didn't respond right away and took that as him being tired of people asking how he was doing.
"I feel like this can't be real. I've woken up every day since expecting it to have been a nightmare, but seeing him in the casket... that was too real. He's really gone." He was so sad when he finished that I was about to hug him again, but Bear beat me to it. I knew Bear would be able to make him feel better, if even just a little bit as I had experience with those comforting arms of his.
I gave them each a reassuring pat on the shoulder before leaving them alone as I had to make a trip to the bathroom. After I finished taking a leak and washing up, I headed back to the kitchen and came upon Jessica, Liberty, and Miriam sitting in a few chairs. Jessica was stuffing her face with a plate full of food. Most of it was cooked by my mother.
"What are you looking at me like that for?" Jessica asked Liberty with her mouth full as I reached them. Liberty was giving her a squinty-eyed look.
"How can you be stuffing your face at a time like this?" Liberty asked after taking a few seconds to roll her eyes.
"Are you crazy? You try not eating any of Mrs. H's food. I already missed Thanksgiving so I'm getting all I can get," Jessica said before diving back in to her plate.
"What do you mean you missed Thanksgiving?" Liberty asked.
"Well, it didn't seem right to celebrate a holiday three days after Marcus died so we didn't," Jessica said.
"Oh," Liberty replied. I had wondered if any of their families had done anything for Thanksgiving. My mother had cooked a small meal for the Mellows and we came over. Nobody really ate much though.
"I don't know how you eat that much and stay that thin," Miriam said and I had to agree.
"It's a gift," Jessica said before eating a piece of the two slices of blueberry pie she gotten.
"You mean it's a tapeworm," Liberty mumbled loud enough to be heard.
"I heard that," Jessica said around another mouthful of pie.
"You were supposed to," Liberty said. These two would never change, but listening to their bickering was lifting my mood, at least a little bit.
"I see Wayne had a little family reunion," Veronica said surprising us.
"Yeah," I said.
"Good. He needed something good right now," she said in a sad tone.
"Did you guys know that Tony Mason was Wayne's cousin?" I asked them to distract them, especially Veronica.
"I did," Veronica said.
"I didn't," Liberty and Jessica said together.
"Yeah. Well, they're only related by marriage. Wayne's step-jackass and Tony's dad are brothers," Veronica explained.
"I understand why his stepdad didn't come, well I don't really, but I don't get why his mother wouldn't come," Jessica said and I agreed with her. While seeing his brother was good, seeing his mother would have done him a world of good.
"Some people can't help but be a jackass at every occasion," Veronica said before walking away
"I'm gonna get some air," I said to the girls before leaving them and heading out towards the garden area. It was cloudy and raining slightly so I didn't go further than the patio area just off the kitchen.
I looked out over the garden area and just let my mind wander. I was sad about losing Marcus as a friend. I was sad that my friends had lost their brother and cousin respectively. I was sad that Mr. and Mrs. Mellow had lost their son, Alex had lost his big brother, and Wayne had lost his husband. There was some other feeling there though that I just couldn't decipher for the life of me. It had been there since the day we'd learned about Marcus' death and it was bugging me to no end.
"Hey," I heard as strong arms wrapped around me from behind and pulled me against the body that I knew very well.
"Hey back," I said before leaning more into the hug.
"How are you doing?" He asked and the concern in his voice made me love him even more than I already did, if that was possible.
"It's not fair. I know that death is never fair, but this really isn't fair," I said trying to articulate how I was feeling because I was feeling a jumble of things.
"I know what you mean. I feel bad for Zander because he won't get to know his dad, well other dad," Bear said adding a new thought to my mind.
"Promise me you'll never leave me," I said without even meaning to and after hearing the words, I felt that nagging feeling a bit stronger.
"I'm gonna tell you what you told me the night we got together," he said before pulling me even tighter against him. "I promise that if I have anything to say about it, if it's up to me, I'll never leave you," he said softly next to my ear before laying a soft kiss on my neck below my ear. It made me smile that he remembered what I'd told him word for word. It helped to ease the sadness I was feeling. If only Wayne could have that.
People started leaving as the day wore on. Willa had to get Marvin back home so they didn't stay more than a couple of hours but I could see it did Wayne a lot of good to be with at least some of his family. Zander took to his uncle almost immediately which was nice to see.
By the time night rolled around all that was left was mine and Bear's families, Veronica and Justice. Bear's parents left first followed by my family. Our mothers made sure to tell Mrs. Mellow to call if she needed anything.
Bear and I left a short while after our families did. I made sure to tell Sean to call me if he needed me. Bear took me home and even though I wanted him to stay over with me, he decided it was best to go home. He would be seeing me in the morning when he came to take me back to school. Aside from Sean, we were all heading back to our schools and since my car was still at school, I wanted to go with Bear instead of Liberty so I could spend as much time as possible with him.
He kissed me good night and I headed in. I headed upstairs and dropped in my bed. I couldn't sleep so I just let my mind and eyes wander. After scanning my room my eyes fell on my sketchpad that I hadn't used since the summer.
I picked it up and flipped through the pages looking at the various things I'd sketched over the summer with Bear and Calvin. When I got to the last sketch in the book I stopped to study it. I had gotten the idea for this one from Sean's party we'd gone to after coming home. It was a sketch I'd done after seeing Marcus and Wayne sitting on a sofa with Zander sitting on Marcus' lap. They'd looked so happy that I'd made a mental image of that moment and sketched it the next day.
Seeing this gave me an idea so I spent some time cleaning it up and smoothing out the rough edges and when I was finished, it looked really good. My artistic side always surprised me. I just hoped that what I had planned for the sketch was a good idea. It also gave me an idea for a Christmas present for Bear, but that could wait as I finally started to get sleepy. Just before I drifted off to sleep, I got a text from Bear that said "forever". This brought a smile to my face as I drifted off into dreamland.
Author's Note:
Well, here is the next chapter in the continuing saga of the life of Trey and the people in his life. It seems that where there's good, there's also bad in Trey's life and this chapter definitely an example.
A chapter that started off with Carter going on an important first real date with Sed after spending quite a while just hanging out moved unexpectedly into the death of Marcus.
I know a lot of people will find this unexpected and there's ome who will even wonder what's the point. This though was one of my earliest plans for the story, which is why I never did a "spin-off" of those characters (although I still could and finish telling the story from Wayne's POV). This even will also have an effect on the group for the immediate future and I thought it was important for the people in Trey's world to experience a loss.
We're getting close to two shocking events, well one just surprising and one that's even more shocking than this. The shocking event will have an impact on the rest of the story and change Bear and Trey forever so stay tuned.
Thank you to all my readers who have read my story and who have patience as I take a looonngg time to release chapters, lol. I will try to pick up the pace as there is some interesting ad shocking stuff coming up. Please send all comments to thestoryguy9783@gmail.com and also email JD at his email below if you want to talk to him, or just to get him to hurry me along, lol. Finally, if you're interested, you can follow me on twitter @StoryGuyNick.
Until next time.... Nicky
Editor's Note:
Hey guys and welcome to another chapter in the saga that is Trey's Life. This chapter kinda started on a happy note with Carter going on his first date, but then the chapters takes a dark turn with Marcus' unexpected death. This chapter kinda got to me, cause this was a twist I didn't see coming.
Alex seems to be lashing out at everyone, and pushing Calvin away as well as his family, hopefully he can open up to them soon instead of pushing them away. Even though Wayne has lost his husband, he had a little reunion with his younger brother thanks to Heather and his sister Willa.
What more is in store for Trey, Bear and all there friends in the next chapter, stay tuned to find out. If you want to let Nicky know your thoughts you can reach him at his email above, and if you want to reach me send an email to jd.kaster1987@gmail.com.
Until next time,
JDK