Prologue
But I know he won't want me. Because he is a man.
And I am a man.
As I sit in my room and cry, I imagine us, together. It will never happen. As much as I want it to, it won't.
As I sit in my room and cry, I think.
The crow will never want the butterfly.
The Story
Am not, you're the one who drunk called your mom last night, not me."
"Exactly, I was drunk. You're the one who called your ex-girlfriend, sober as a judge."
"Not fair, Damien."
"Totally fair, Derek. What'd you say to her anyway?"
Derek didn't answer.
"Derek Monroe Sydney, what did you say to her?"
Derek stared intently at his black coffee mug while he answered, "I told her she was a lying whore and a psychopathic bitch for what she did."
"Those are some strong words coming from a sober person."
"I know." he whispered.
"If it makes you feel better, I'd do the same thing."
"Really?"
"Dude, she cheated on you with your cousin. Your favorite cousin, nonetheless."
Derek nodded.
Damien needed to break Derek out of his depressed mood. Quick
"Hey, Der, you want to come back to my apartment? Call of Duty and beer? C'mon."
Derek perked up.
"Beer?"
Damien laughed.
"Yeah, beer."
"Well, if there's beer-"
"And Call of Duty."
"And Call of Duty, I'm in."
"Alright!"
Damien threw a couple of bills on the table for the waitress, and downed the rest of his coffee.
Derek had a look of disgust on his face.
"What?" Damien asked self-consciously.
"I can't see how you can drink your coffee that fast."
"And I can't see how you can start drinking beer at nine 'o' clock in the morning."
"Touche."
"Well, I'm ready, you ready?"
"Ready, Freddie."
Damien smiled.
"Let's go, Joe."
Derek smiled and rolled his eyes. They got up from the table and started walking toward Damien's forest-green Volkswagen Jetta.
"Derek, you need to get your own car."
"But I like riding with you."
Damien's heart skipped a beat.
"Really?"
"Yeah, it means I don't have to pay for gas."
Damien's heart slid into his stomach.
"Oh."
Derek punched Damien's arm mockingly.
"Just kidding, bro."
Derek slid into the passenger side as Damien started the car.
"Dude, Dami, you ok?"
"Yeah, why?"
"You're usually not this quiet after you have your morning coffee."
The crow will never want the butterfly.
The thought whispered through Damien's mind.
"I'm kind of hung over. Not really in the talking mood."
"Oh, you're sure your ok? You're looking a little pale."
"I-I'm fine." he stammered.
"Alright, now I know you're lying to me. You start stuttering when you lie."
"D-D-Do not."
"Yeah, dude, you do."
Damien stopped at a red light.
"Dammit, Derek! I said I'm fine and I mean it."
The light turned green.
"Sorry." Derek mumbled.
Damien pulled into his apartment lot. He stopped the car, turned off the ignition, and turned toward Derek.
"Look, man, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. It's just. . There's been some stuff going on and. . . ."
"You want to talk about it?"
"No, not really."
Damien got out of the car, and walked toward his appartment. Derek followed.
"You sure, man? I'm here if you need me."
"I know, maybe later, but I'm not in the mood now."
Derek clapped him on the shoulder.
"Okay."
Damien unlocked the door to his apartment and stepped inside, then held the door wider for Derek.
He closed the door and went to the kitchen to get Derek a beer.
When he went back into the living room, Derek already had the Xbox 360 up and running for Call of Duty.
Derek looked up at Damien from the couch.
"Beer!"
"Damn, early morning beer drinkers are weird."
"So are fast coffee drinkers."
"Whatever, here's your beer. I say we play Nazis vs. Zombies."
"Alright. You bettered not let me die this time."
"Hey, if you didn't notice I was being attacked by a group of like twenty zombies."
"And I was being eaten by a group of five.''
Damien was about to say something, but Derek stopped him.
"Yeah, yeah, I know. I really suck at it when they start actually running at me."
"Suck is a pretty strong word. . ."
"What would you have used?"
". . . Okay, I would've used suck too, but it's still a pretty strong word."
Derek shoved him off the couch.
"Hey!"
"Oops."
Damien got back up on the couch.
"You are such a bitch!"
Derek smiled.
"I know."
"Ok, let's kick some zombie ass!"
"Hell, yeah!"
When they both finally got their fill of zombie ass-kicking, (And Derek got ate quite a few times.), they shut the Xbox down and grabbed a few more beers.
"I'm sorry, dude, but you really suck at that game." Damien teased.
"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. One day I'm `a going to beat your ass on that game."
"Sure, sure."
"I'm serious. I will."
"No, I believe you." Damien said laughing.
There was a moment's silence.
"Dami, what's bothering you? I don't like seeing my friends hurt. Especially my best friend."
Damien froze mid-sip of beer.
Should he really tell him?
Make something up, quick!
"Er, uhm."
"C'mon, dude, you can tell me. I'm your best friend, we can tell each other anything."
"Well, I don't know about this. . ."
It was true. If Damien told him that he's secretly loved him since they met, it could ruin their friendship completely. He didn't know if it was worth it.
"Don't worry, man. Whatever it is i can probably help, and if not I can still listen."
He decided he'd tell him half of it, atleast he'd get part of it off his chest.
"Alright. Okay, well, Derek, I'm. . . I'm gay."
"You're what?"
"I'm gay."
"Oh, dude. . ."
"I-"
"Dude, you have no idea how great this is!"
Damien blanched.
"Derek, you're insane." Damien Public said over his and Derek Sydney's morning coffee ritual at The Coffee Mug.
I've been friends with Derek for a long time, but I want more. I crave more.