The Dancer

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, and any resemblance it bears to real people or events is purely coincidental. This work contains graphic depictions of gay male sex, and anyone who does not meet the legal definition of an adult in his or her political jurisdiction must leave this work now. This work is being posted to the Nifty Archives. It may not be posted to any other medium without the written consent of its author.

The Dancer

Chapter 3

When school started, Tommy and I hung out at lunch and stuff. We would usually sneak out the back gate of the campus at lunch and go across the street to smoke a cigarette. There were plenty of other guys over there doing the same thing, and I had the impression the school knew all about us but was too humane to punish us for doing it.

Three or four guys let me know they had seen my pictures on the Internet. I would wink at them, grin, and never ask how they found me. They knew I knew. One of the guys who said something to me was Dr. Mark Bode, my English teacher. He mentioned it to me one Friday afternoon after school when I stayed late to recite some punctuation rules for extra credit.

"I've seen pictures of a man who looks a lot like you on several Web sites," he said, offhandedly.

"He looks like me because he is me," I replied.

Bode raised an eyebrow. Just one, which is an amazingly difficult thing to do.

"Do your parents know?"

"Not about my pictures being on the Web, but they know I'm gay," I replied. I think my honesty disarmed him a little. In fact, for once in his life, he seemed to be at a loss for words. "Do yours know about you?"

I think he blushed a little. Then he said, "Er...no. No, they don't."

"Are you with somebody," I asked. I realized I was taking the whole thing further than he wanted to go, but he brought it up.

"No. I'm a virgin, in fact."

"Really?" I must have sounded more surprised than I was. He was probably thirty, nice looking, very well groomed, and his car and clothes suggested he was more affluent than his salary would ordinarily permit.

"Well, I, er, I guess..."

"It's okay, man. A cherry is nothing to be ashamed of. Is it for religious reasons?"

"Well, it was at first. I entered the seminary right out of high school, and everything there was about denying sexuality. I mean, I would have been bounced out on my ear if I had done anything--and they had found out about it."

"I understand," I said. "Like I said before, a cherry is nothing to be ashamed of. Unless you don't want it and can't get rid of it. Then it might be a problem."

"Well, that's sort of my situation. I mean, I'm thirty-one years old and have had zero experience. I wouldn't begin to know how to come on to another man."

"Well, you sort of came on to me, didn't you?"

He blushed deeply.

"Hey, look, Dr. B, I don't mean to embarrass you. It's just that you brought up my pictures for a reason, whether it was a conscious reason or not."

"You're right, of course. And it was conscious."

"Do you find me attractive?"

"Good God, boy, of course I find you attractive. I even considered having you transferred into another English class so I wouldn't be completely distracted every day."

"Well, I'm glad you didn't. You're a hell of a good teacher, and I'd hate to miss the chance of having you."

"There aren't any other senior English courses offered your period, otherwise I would have requested it. And thanks for the compliment."

"I find you very attractive, too, you know. I mean, you're damn good looking, well built--or at least you seem to be. You have a great sense of humor. Hell, you've pretty much got everything I like in a guy."

"What about you? Do you have someone?"

"Actually, I do. He's a little older than me, and we've lived together since last January."

"Your parents don't object to that arrangement?"

"My parents are both doctors, and they're on some kind of medical relief program in Afghanistan for two years. They know Don and I live together."

"Are you in love with Don," he asked, sheepishly.

"Yeah, more or less. We fit together well, let's say. But we have a pretty open relationship, including with another faculty member of this school."

A look of shock and surprise darkened his face. I knew he was dying to find out who it was, but that's something he'd have to learn from Eric, not from me.

All of a sudden, Dr. Bode changed the subject. "Are you going to the football game tonight?"

"I have to work until around 8:30, but I'll probably drop by the game when I get off."

"Oh? Where do you work?"

I told him what my job was, and, again, he blushed. "That's where those pictures of me came from. People take them while I'm performing. I did some porno videos this summer, too. Gay porn."

I could tell the good doctor didn't know what to say, so I took the lead.

"You want to get together after the game. Don's out of town this weekend, and I won't have anything to do." That wasn't the full truth. Don was out of town, but Tommy and Jackie and Chip and I could always find ways of keeping ourselves entertained.

"Would you be willing to come over to my place and eat some pizza or something," he asked.

"Sure."

He gave me his address, which was in a pretty swanky neighborhood near the school. I told him I wouldn't try to find him at the game but that I'd be at his house no later than 10:30. I went home then to get my homework out of the way before the weekend started, leaving Dr. Bode with his thoughts.

My only gig that night was a bachelorette party at seven. I did my usual strip, earned fifty bucks and a twenty dollar tip, and got to the game around 8:30, just as I had predicted. Our team was really good, and we were already ahead by fourteen points at the start of the third quarter. I only had to pay half price, since the game was that far along.

I found some of my friends, and we had a pretty good time cheering and making fun of the other team. I was wearing a school baseball cap, but everyone else was dressed in full school colors. I hadn't thought it a good idea to show up at my gig wearing a school shirt, so I just had on jeans and a pocket tee shirt. I had forgotten to take my cigarettes out of my pocket before I went into the stadium, and the box rubbed against my nipple, keeping me slightly aroused all during the game.

After the game Tommy wanted me to go with him to meet up with Jackie and Chip, but I begged off. I told him I'd probably call him the next day so we could get together to do something. He knew Don was out of town, and I think he wanted to get me involved in a four-way with him, Jackie, and Chip. I wasn't opposed to that, by any means, but I had a date with Dr. Bobe. He didn't act particularly disappointed, but he made me promise to keep Saturday night open.

I drove the distance to Dr. B's house and got there around 10:20. He was already home, sipping a drink, when I arrived. His house was way too nice for a teacher's salary at my school, so I knew he had independent money. He fixed me a drink after I swore and vowed and declared I'd never tell anyone at school he'd given me alcohol. In fact, he made me promise not to talk about even being at his house.

"So what am I going to say, 'Oh, what did you do after the game? I went over to Dr. B's for drinks and whatever'?"

"I see your point, but, even so, I'm counting on you to be discreet."

"I know you are, and your faith in me won't go unrewarded."

We made nervous small talk for a little while. He showed me his rather impressive CD collection, and he put some music on a very righteous stereo system. I asked if he mined if I smoked, and he said of course not. There was a crystal ashtray on the coffee table, so I figured he either smoked or had friends who did.

I knew the first move was up to me, and I decided to start by taking my shirt off. He noticed my nipple rings right away.

"I've never actually seen nipple piercings in person before. I mean, I knew you had them because of the pictures, but here they are."

"You can touch them, if you want to," I said.

He tentatively reached out toward my chest and finally toyed with one.

"Does that do anything for you," he asked.

"Check my cock, and you'll see for yourself."

"What?"

"Touch my cock. It's hard as a rock from your doing that."

I knew he wanted to touch me, but he was afraid. I took his hand and put it on my crotch. I held his wrist and made his hand rub up and down my package. I made a low moan, and I could tell that excited him.

I leaned forward and gently kissed him. He didn't pull back, but I could tell he wasn't an experienced kisser. I put my hand behind his head and pulled him closer for a better kiss. I gently licked his lips as we kissed, and he opened his mouth for my tongue. His breathing got deeper and more labored, and I knew he was really aroused.

I stood up and kicked my shoes off. I wasn't wearing socks, so I stood there barefoot and shirtless.

"Undo my jeans," I said. Again, his reach was tentative, but he got the top button undone easily enough. "Now open the fly," I continued. He popped the buttons, and my hard cock slipped out. I wasn't wearing underwear, so there was nothing to hold it back. Unlike a lot of uncut guys, the head of my cock is large and flaring, and that night I was hard enough for the skin to have slid back behind the head by itself. When I was like that, I looked cut.

Dr. B gasped slightly when he saw my cock. "Touch it, if you want to," I said softly. He ran his index finger down the top toward my pubes.

I pushed my jeans off all the way, and I was totally naked. I sat back down on the sofa next to him and kissed him again, more passionately that time than before. He was starting to get the hang of tongue kissing, and he explored the inside of my mouth. I started unbuttoning his shirt, and he put up no resistance. When I got his shirt off, I reached down and slipped off his loafers and socks.

As I had suspected, he had a nicely-developed upper body. Like me, he was mostly smooth, but there was a dusting of hair between his pecs and in a straight line down to his navel. I rubbed one of his nipples for a few seconds, and it became erect quickly to my touch.

"Does that feel good," I asked.

"Yeah," he said.

I could tell he was uncomfortable talking about that sort of thing.

"Tell me what feels good, okay," I said. "If you enjoy something I do to you, let me know because that adds to my pleasure, too." He simply nodded.

I unfastened his belt buckle and loosened his pants. I had him raise his ass so I could slip them off. He was wearing a pair of snow-white Hanes briefs, and his hard-on was straining against the wet spot his precum made. I started to take his briefs off, but he asked me not to just yet. We continued kissing and rubbing each other, both moaning with pleasure from time to time.

After a long round of making out and fondling, I figured it was time for the real business of the evening. I tried again to take his briefs off, and, once again, he asked me to wait. I put my hand on the head of his cock and then grasped the shaft through his underwear. I stroked him a few times, and his entire body stiffened as his orgasm passed over him. In seconds, he was jerking in my hand, spewing his cum inside his briefs.

When he was finished shooting, I took him in my arms.

"Oh, thank you, Brian. God, thank you so much." Then he started crying.

"What's the matter," I asked, thinking he was having some kind of Catholic guilt attack and weeping for his sin.

"You don't know how long I've looked forward to this," he said. "These are tears of joy." I let him cry himself out. I gently licked the tears from his cheeks.

I lit a cigarette and settled back next to him on the sofa. He lit up himself. My cock was still rigid, and it stood up parallel to my abs. He looked at me longingly and with a look of utmost appreciation on his face.

"I've been selfish in not giving you some relief," he finally said.

"Don't worry about me. This is your night. My pleasure comes in seeing how happy you are right now."

"You're wise beyond your years, my friend," he said with a sweet smile.

"Besides, the night isn't over, is it," I asked.

We finished our cigarettes, and I noticed that his cum had soaked his briefs.

"Aren't you uncomfortable in that wet underwear," I asked. Without waiting for an answer, I started removing them. His cock had shrivelled up to about two inches, and his semen covered his cock, balls, and pubic hair. He must have really let loose a load. "Let me clean you up," I said, and I bent over him to lick his groin clean. That made his cock respond, as I knew it would, and, in no time, he was rock hard. I went ahead and took it into my mouth. He was probably five-and-a-half or six inches long, and not very thick. It was a very suckable dick.

I knew this was his first blowjob, and I wanted to make it a good one. I tongue-washed his balls and the shaft of his cock, and I licked cum out of his bush, as well. I ran my tongue up and down the underside of his shaft, and, now and then, I took the head into my mouth for some genuine sucking. I didn't think he was ready to have his ass rimmed, so I concentrated everything on his rod and balls. It didn't take long before he was contracting internally and, finally, shooting his cream into my mouth. There wasn't as much the second time as there had been the first, but he still gave me a pretty heavy load.

When he was through, I asked him to jerk me off. I lay back so he could get a good position on me, and I watched as he worked his fist up and down my shaft. I showed him how to handle my foreskin over the head of my cock, and he caught on fast. I have excellent control over my orgasms, but I didn't want to make this poor guy work all night. So, in fifteen minutes or so, I forced myself to climax. My cum shot onto my chest and stomach, and I could tell he was really pleased he had been able to pleasure me. I scooped up most of my seed and slurped it off my hand. I extended some to him, and, to my surprise and delight, he tasted it. Then, he actually leaned over me and licked my chest of the remaining drops.

After the sex, he asked me if I wanted another drink, and I accepted gratefully. Sitting on the sofa, I asked him about himself.

He was an only child of older parents. He was thirty-one, and his father and mother were near seventy. His grandparents had left him a very handsome trust fund, so he was able to afford a more "gracious lifestyle" than he might otherwise would have been able to.

"Do you like teaching? You really seem to," I said.

"Teaching is my life," he said, almost too seriously.

"What about friends? What do you do for fun?"

"Well, I have a couple of friends who are priests. I told you I had been in the seminary, and I was within a year of ordination when I left. Most of the people I knew from my past are either in the priesthood or spread out all over the world. I don't really have that many friends in New Orleans, any more."

"That's a shame. You've got a great sense of humor, and people like you immediately."

He seemed a bit embarrassed by that. "You really think so? I've always thought I was rather unlikeable."

"How can you say that? The other kids love you, and I've liked you from the very first day of school."

"Well, I've never been very good at sports, and I have trouble making conversation with strangers. For example, the idea of going to a bar and striking up a conversation with someone terrifies me."

"That's not really all that hard to do. I don't do that because I've got plenty of friends, but I often find myself in a roomful of strangers. It's up to me to talk to them and entertain them. That's how I stay in business."

"Do you make a lot of money doing what you do," he asked.

"A good bit," I said. "I'll probably clear $150,000 this year."

"Good God," he said. "That's..."

"Incredible?"

"Yes. Incredible. I hope you're investing that money."

"Oh, yes. My lover hooked me up with a broker, and I'm putting all of it away."

We made small talk of that sort for a good while. I felt very comfortable in his presence and in his arms. Around midnight, I mentioned something about having to go so he could get some sleep.

"I wish you'd spend the night," he said, with a shy smile.

I couldn't exactly decide how to evaluate that statement. Did it mean he wanted more sex? If it did, I was more than ready to comply.

After a long pause, I asked, "Are you sure?"

"Please stay," he said. He looked so sweet and pitiful and vulnerable at that moment, I would have had to have been heartless to say no.

"Okay. If you're sure."

"I've never been surer of anything in my life," he said.

We smoked a final cigarette and finished our drinks. Then he led me to his bedroom, our clothes littering the floor of his den. I used his toothbrush to brush my teeth, and we got into his bed naked.

Once in bed, he took the initiative and leaned over and kissed me. It was a much hotter, much more passionate kiss than we had shared all night. I stretched myself over the left part of his body, and our cocks touched as we squirmed and kissed and nibbled and sucked on each other's faces.

"I'd like to do to you what you did to me," he said very quietly.

"What? What would you like to do?"

"You know."

"Yes, but I want you to say it. Say, 'I want to suck your cock and make you come.'" I might have been pushing it.

After a pause, he said those exact words, though, and, in a few seconds, he had my dick in his mouth. He tried to take all of it but gagged. I told him to relax and take it slowly. When he did that, he ended up giving me a decent blowjob. I moved around into the sixty-nine position, and I worked his cock for him in my mouth. I decided to venture a little further, and I tentatively licked the spot between his balls and his asshole. He responded with a low moan. I then threw caution to the wind and started licking his hole. That sent him into outer space or something, and, in no more than two minutes, he pumped out another load onto his chest and abdomen. He kept sucking me, though, and I made myself blast forth my cum into his mouth. He swallowed most of it, and I licked his cum off his body. We snuggled in each other's arms for a few minutes until both of us fell asleep.

The next morning Dr. B woke up just before I did, and he was smiling down on me when I opened my eyes.

"Hi, handsome," he said. "Thank you for last night. I thank God for the day you came into my class." I could tell he was serious in that last statement.

"Hi, Dr. B," I said with a grin.

"Why don't you call me Mark? We've sort of gone beyond the formalities of a traditional student-teacher relationship, don't you think?"

"Sure, if that's okay with you. That same idea crossed my mind last night when I had my tongue up your ass."

Mark laughed hard and then kissed me. "You are so cute. I'm surprised more guys aren't all over you. And girls, too."

"Well, I guess I prefer to be a little more selective. Plus, I'm not exactly celibate, you know." Again, he laughed.

We lay in each other's arms a while. Then Mark said, "There's something else I want to do. Sexually, I mean."

I figured he wanted to fuck me, and that would be just fine with me.

"Tell me what it is."

"I want to try anal sex."

"You mean, you want to fuck me? Can you say, 'Mark wants to fuck Brian'?"

"No, but I can say, 'Mark wants Brian to fuck Mark.'"

I was a little surprised. "Are you sure you're ready to try that? My cock is pretty big, you know."

"Really? I hadn't noticed."

"Asshole."

"Now you're finally catching on." We both laughed.

"It would be a real honor for me to open you up, Mark. And I can do it without it hurting you, too. But first, I've got to take a flood of a piss."

"Me, too," he said, and we got out of bed together.

I can never piss until my hard-on goes down a little because I miss the toilet and get it all over the place. With Mark there naked and so very hard, there wasn't much chance of that happening very quickly.

"Let me show you something I do when I'm this hard," I said. There was a tub and a separate free-standing shower stall in his bathroom. I opened the glass door to the shower and got in. I pulled him in with me, and I turned on the water a little. Not enough to wet us; just enough to wash the piss down the drain. Then I let rip. Mark did the same thing.

"Do you have any kind of lube I can use," I asked.

He went to his medicine chest and got a tube of KY jelly. "Will this do," he asked.

"Perfectly," I said. "It's my favorite."

I grabbed at his ass walking back into the bedroom, and, before we got to the bed, I pulled him to me for a kiss. Our cocks rubbed together, and the erections that had started to soften after our piss grew hard and firm again in an instant. I decided that that guy had a much better body than I had noticed the night before, and I ran my tongue all over it.

I explained the procedure. We'd start with my loosening up his ass muscles with my tongue and fingers. Then I'd get on my back, with him on top. He would gently lower himself onto me, with him in control all the time. I told him sex wasn't supposed to be painful, although the initial entry might hurt a little.

"We have all day to do this," I said. "Let's take it slow so your first time is good for you."

We did as I had described, and, to my surprise, his sphincter offered relatively little resistance to the head of my cock. Once we were past that potential obstacle, he took all of my eight inches without a flinch. He moved up and down on me for a while. Then I told him I thought he was ready for some real fucking. I put him on his back and re-entered him, with his legs up on my shoulders. I had already scoped out his interior anatomy with my fingers, so I knew just where to apply pressure to make his prostate hum.

I had fucked a bunch of guys at that point in my life, but I don't think I had ever fucked one who enjoyed it any more than Mark did. Every time I pumped into him, he gasped and moaned. I told him to try to counter-thrust with me, and he got the hang of it pretty quickly. We didn't keep it up long, but the session was very intense. He came hard in about five minutes, and that set off my own orgasm. I pumped my seed into him, and he purred like a kitten when my hot sauce hit his bowels. I slumped over him, smearing his sperm from his chest all over my front, and I stayed hard. In a few minutes, I started pumping again, and Mark got with the program again immediately. That time we fucked for a good fifteen minutes, and, when we came, we both screamed out in pleasure.

After we recovered, I lit a cigarette. Mark declined my offer of one, saying it was too early in the day for him to smoke. In a little while, we got up and went to the kitchen for coffee. We were covered in cum, and it felt wonderful.

Mark was ready to smoke after his first cup of coffee. We had a second cup, then a third. We made small talk and decided we'd spend the day together. After the third cup of coffee, and my fourth cigarette of the day, we took a shower together. I thought the shower might lead to more sex, but Mark was all business, even when he washed my cock and balls.

I discovered after we were dressed that Mark liked to rollerblade. Since my house--and rollerblades--wasn't far, we went by there to pick up my skates. Then we headed to the lakefront to skate. There were lots of others out that morning, and we had a good time showing off for each other. We saw a couple of guys from school, but they didn't do any more than wave to us as they skated by.

On around eleven o'clock, I was really starting to get hungry. I mentioned that to Mark, and he agreed it was time to eat. So, nasty and sweaty as we were, we went to a nearby Shoney's for the breakfast/lunch buffet. One of Mark's students in another class was working there, and he acted like royalty had come to the house for an unexpected visit. I knew the kid slightly, and I liked him. He obviously loved Mark.

"You see what I mean about your students loving you," I asked him.

"What are you talking about," he asked in reply.

"That kid. Faucheaux. He's so fucking excited you're here, he's about to cream his jeans."

Mark laughed. "Now, that's an interesting expression."

"Have you never done that," I asked.

"Done what?"

"Creamed your jeans. Come in your pants because you were so excited."

"No," he laughed. "I've never done that."

"Shit, I do it all the fucking time."

He looked at me with a rather strange expression on his face.

"What?"

"Your language."

"Oh, man. I'm sorry. Cursing is just a bad habit with me. I'll try to watch it."

"No, don't. It's kind of a turn-on for me. It's just that I have never been able to let myself use language like that, even when I wanted to. I think it's really very sexy."

"I can tell I'm going to have to loosen your ass up," I said, jokingly.

"I believe you've already done a fine job of that." Then we both laughed.

We stayed at Shoney's a good two hours, drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes. I knew the staff wondered whether we would ever leave, but Mark and I did a lot of bonding during that time. He told me about being the smartest kid in his elementary school and about being valedictorian at Jesuit High School. He told me about his compulsive need to be perfect, to be the best, to never make a mistake. He admitted that that was the first time he had ever smoked in a public place, and I was amazed.

He told me about entering the Jesuit order and being pegged as a star from his earliest days. They sent him to Europe to study, and then to Yale for his Ph.D. in English.

"I was supposed to be an English professor at Loyola or some other Jesuit university," he said, "but I just couldn't go through with it."

His parents had been ecstatic when he entered the seminary, and they had been equally disappointed and distraught when he had left. He wasn't close to them emotionally, he said, even though he looked after them as a dutiful son would. They would have preferred for him to live at home with them until he married, but he just couldn't do it.

The longer I listened to this guy, the more my heart went out to him. Here he was, a brilliant, highly educated young man, and he was still locked in early adolescence sexually. He said he had started suspecting he had gay "tendencies" when he was in college, and it wasn't until he was twenty-eight that he finally admitted to himself that he was gay. He talked it over at length with his spiritual director, and that guy advised him to leave the Jesuit order, the Society of Jesus, where there was not room for queers. I asked him if he thought it was ironic that the Society of Jesus had no room for queers, and he laughed.

"Damn, boy. You really are wise beyond your years."

We went back to his house and cleaned up. We spent the rest of the afternoon in bed, and I fucked him twice more that day. I asked him if he wanted to fuck me, but he said he'd wait until another time.

"There will be another time, won't there," he asked, hopefully.

"Sure," I said.

"Can you spend the night again tonight?"

"I've promised some friends I'd go out with them tonight. Otherwise I would. I was supposed to go out with them last night, so I don't want to fink out on them twice."

"You're such a good person," he said. Nobody had ever said that to me before, I didn't think. They had said I was good, but they had meant I was good in bed, not good morally.

"What do you mean, I'm a good person? I'm not a good person."

"Brian...." He wanted to say something, but he was having trouble finding the words.

"A good person is someone who makes other people happy, and you've made me very happy in the last twenty-four hours. That means you qualify."

"You mean, I'm a good person because I'm good at sex?"

"Brian, your logic astounds me. No. You're a good person because you gave up a night with your friends to be with me. You're a good person because you didn't turn me in when I came on to you. You're a good person because you put up with a thirty-one-year-old virgin. You're just a good person."

"Well, there are a lot of people who wouldn't think I was all that good for all the things you just said. In fact, they would think I'm evil."

"Do you believe you're evil? I mean, really? Deep down inside?"

"No, I don't. Bad, maybe, but not evil."

He laughed. "I think I understand your distinction, and, frankly, I like 'bad.'"

We lay beside each other in peace, and, before long, we were both asleep.

The next thing I remember was smelling freshly brewed coffee. When I finally woke up completely, I realized Mark wasn't in bed with me. I got up and followed my nose to the kitchen and the wonderful smell it emitted.

"Hi," he said. He was as naked as I was.

"Hi."

"You want a cup of coffee," he asked.

"Oh, yeah. That smells wonderful. I think it woke me up. What time is it, anyway?"

"It's after five," he said. "Your pager has been going off, by the way."

I went back into the bedroom and got my pager from the pocket of my jeans. The number was Ben's, and I knew I had to call him. I asked to use the phone, and Mark directed me to his study, so I could talk privately. Ben was desperate and needed me to work that night. It was just one party, but it would be a three-hundred-dollar evening for me with a gay guy on his birthday. I told him I'd do it. I immediately called Chip to tell him about my sudden change of plans and to ask him to call Tommy. I said I'd meet them at our house around ten.

I drank two cups of Mark's wonderful coffee and smoked a couple of cigarettes with him. He asked me if we could get together on Sunday, and I told him yes.

I left his house around six, went home to shower, shave, and get ready for my performance that night. After working the party, I got together with my friends and, indeed, we had a foursome. I had a great time that night, but I kept thinking about Mark and his needs. I had to figure out some way to hook him up with a really nice guy who could appreciate his fine qualities.

Mark called around 11:30 the next morning and woke me up.

"Hi, handsome," he said.

"Hi, Mark. What's up?"

"I was hoping we could see each other this afternoon."

"I'm counting on it," I said. "When?"

"Well, you sound like you just got up, and I always have Sunday lunch with my parents at noon. Would two o'clock be okay with you? At my place?"

"Sure. I'll be there." After a pause, I continued, "I had fun with you yesterday."

"Really?" He seemed genuinely surprised.

"Yeah, really. We've got some self-esteem work to do on your ass. Not to mention some other work."

He laughed when I said that.

"Okay, Brian. I can't wait to get started. I'll see you at two. Bye."

"Two it is. Bye."

"Who the fuck was that," Chip asked, slightly annoyed at being awakened by the phone call, no doubt.

"Some guy I know. I spent the day with him yesterday. I'm seeing him again this afternoon."

"Trick, or treat?" That was Chip's slang for paid sex or sex for pleasure.

"Treat, I guess. Or maybe a mercy fuck. I'll tell you about it later." With that, I went back to sleep, and Chip did, too.

I woke up again around one o'clock. I got up, naked, of course, and went to the kitchen to make some coffee. The Mr. Coffee machine was quick, and I had a hot cup in front of me in less than five minutes. I savored the aroma. I lit my first cigarette of the day and drank my coffee in peace. I wondered if Tommy and Jackie were still here. When I looked out the window, I saw that Tommy's car was gone, so I knew Chip and I were alone in the house.

I reflected on the fact that Chip and I had become really close friends since our meeting in June. I had introduced him to Ben, who had immediately put him to work as a dancer, and he and I continued to work for Dan, off and on. Chip only did gay parties, so he wasn't as versatile as I was, but he still made a damn good living. Then I thought about Don and about the fact that he would be gone for another two weeks. I missed him, but I was beginning to wonder if I was really in love with him.

I checked the kitchen clock and saw that I'd have to hurry to meet Mark by two. I swallowed the remains of my coffee and hauled ass to the bathroom for a shower and shave.

I got to Mark's house about 2:10, and he opened the door on my first ring of the doorbell.

"God, you look so good," he said by way of greeting.

"Thanks. You look pretty good yourself," I replied. He was wearing khakis and a Tommy Hilfiger shirt, and he really did look wonderful. I had on jeans, as usual, and a Polo pullover. The shirt wasn't especially tight, but a careful observer could probably see my nipple rings through it.

Mark and I made small talk for a few minutes after I got there. He asked me if I wanted a drink, and I declined, accepting a cup of coffee, instead.

"Did you have fun last night," he asked.

"Well, yeah," I said. "I had to work, as you know. Then I got together with a few of my buddies."

"I wish I could see you work," he said. I didn't expect that statement, and I didn't know how to respond.

"Well, maybe you could come with me some time. You could watch me dance and do my thing."

"I think I'd like that," he said.

We settled on the sofa in the living room in a few minutes, and, a few minutes after that, we were kissing one another. We were both hard in no time, and I led Mark to his bedroom. I wanted him to fuck me, but I wanted to do it in bed.

We undressed each other. Standing before each other, I reached out and played with Mark's cock. He touched mine and seemed fascinated by my foreskin. We got into his bed and kissed and hugged and did all the foreplay things.

"Mark, I want you to fuck me," I said.

"That would be real sex to me," he replied.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it's intercourse. I've never had intercourse with anyone."

"Can Mark say, 'I've never fucked anyone before,'" I teased.

"I've never fucked anyone before."

"Do you want to," I asked.

"Of course, I do," he replied. "I'm just a little nervous about it. That's all."

"Don't be nervous. Just be gentle, okay?"

"Brian, did you think for a minute I wouldn't be? I'm not real sure how to do it, much less how not to be gentle."

"You're a fucking case, man, you know that?"

I told him how to do it, and he performed reasonably well. He came quickly, as I knew he would, but he stayed hard inside me. I made him fuck me a second time without pulling out, and I came, too, on the second try.

"Did you notice when you hit my sweet spot," I asked.

"Sweet spot?"

"My prostate gland. That's what makes ass-fucking so good. You were on it most of the second time."

"I know what the prostate is, of course, but I was never aware of hitting yours."

"Well, you did, man. And it was wonderful."

We stayed in bed a while longer, cuddling and playing with each other's bodies. Mark loved my cock, I could tell, and he fiddled with the foreskin quite a bit. I never got hard all the way; instead, he kept me in that delicious half-hard state that I love. I played with his nipples.

"Do you like that," I asked him.

"What? Your playing with my nipples? It's okay. Not great, but okay."

"Mine are much more sensitive than yours," I replied. "Sometimes, like Friday night, if I have a pack of cigarettes in the pocket of a pocket tee, the pressure is enough to keep me half aroused."

"Were they always like that?"

"Well, they've always been sensitive, but the piercings have really made them ultra-sensitive."

Mark got up and came back with a moist wash cloth to clean my cum off my chest. He did it like he was washing some precious antique china object.

"Do you want us to get up now," I asked.

"Yeah, but let's don't get dressed. Just looking at you is a pleasure for me."

We got up and went into the den. I decided to play with myself for Mark's benefit. I didn't intend to jerk off to orgasm, but I thought his watching me stroke my cock might please him. I was right.

I sat on the sofa, and he sat right next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and snuggled into me. I picked up my cock, which was flaccid but distended, and I stroked it.

"Stroke your cock," I said.

I could tell he was embarrassed and didn't really want to do it. I didn't insist, of course, and in a few minutes he took his in hand and started rubbing it.

"Do you jerk off a lot," I asked.

"What's a lot?"

"I don't know? Three, four times a day."

He laughed. "I didn't masturbate the first time until I was twenty-four, and that happened almost by accident."

"You shittin' me?" I was genuinely surprised by that.

"Nope. That's the truth. What about you?"

"I don't do it all that much. I get a pretty good amount of sex. Of course, I jerk off in my act sometimes."

He looked at me intently. "God, you're sexy. It's like you exude sex."

"Thanks," I said, and smiled at him.

We probably spent the better part of an hour on the sofa, rubbing our cocks and each other. Finally, I said, "I want to see you come. Will you come for me?"

I knew that would be awkward for him, but I was trying to get him to loosen up on the sex front. He obviously wanted sex, but his upbringing had inhibited him so much he would have to be coaxed into being a really sexual person.

To his credit, he started jerking himself is earnest. I licked his ear a few times and fondled his nipples to help him along. "Come on, baby. You can do it for me. Let me see you shoot that hot, thick cum all over yourself and me. I want to feel your hot sperm as it splashes on us." I didn't really like talking like that all that much because it sounded so fake, but I knew some guys got off on it. Mark was apparently one of them because it took him almost no time to get his nut.

"Now let me see you do it," he said.

That was fair enough. I was fully hard and ready to come again by then, so I stood up in front of him so he could watch me. I could really get into jerking off for an audience, and I put on a very good performance for him that afternoon. When I came, I let it splash on him, and he seemed to love it.

"That's as sexy as fucking," he said.

I grinned, both because he had liked it and because he had used "fuck" without having to be prompted.

When we were both back on the sofa smoking cigarettes, I said, "God, I hate Sunday nights."

"Why," he asked.

"Well, school tomorrow and everything."

"Not tomorrow."

All of a sudden I remembered the next day was a holiday. I couldn't believe I had let that slip my mind. It was called Foundation Day, and it was the day the order that ran the school was founded a couple of hundred years before. It was always on September 30th, and that year it happened to fall on a Monday.

"Goddamn. I had forgotten all about that. That puts everything in a different perspective," I said, genuinely pleased.

"So, does that mean you'll spend the night with me again," Mark asked.

I mentally reviewed my plans for that evening and discovered I had none.

"Sure. I'd love to. What do you want to do?"

He grinned.

"Besides that, I mean. Doing that goes without saying."

"Well, I don't know. What do you want to do?"

I checked the clock on the top of his TV set and saw that it was almost four o'clock. Nothing would be going on at clubs or anything for hours yet, and Sunday wasn't all that good a night to go clubbing, anyway. Then an idea hit me.

"We have a place across the lake. A cabin. You want to go over there and spend the night. We can cook out, watch some videos, hang out tonight, and tomorrow we can have 'nude day' in the woods. How does that sound?"

"It sounds good."

"Great. Let's go."

It didn't take Mark long to get his overnight bag together. When we went outside to get into my car, we discovered a cold front had rolled in, and the temperature was in the mid-sixties.

"This temperature feels great, doesn't it," I asked.

"Yes, it does. I'm really tired of the hot weather."

"We can have a fire tonight," I said. "There's plenty of firewood already cut and ready for us."

We stopped at my house to pick up my overnight stuff. Mark looked through my collection of videos and picked out the ones that I had made with Chip and the others that past summer. He stuffed them in my bag. On the way out of town, we stopped and bought some liquor, some food, some toilet paper, and an extra-large tube of KY. I knew there wasn't any at the cabin, and I thought we might need it. I also bought a bottle of sunscreen, just in case we were able to amble around nude the next day. Mark had some tender white spots on his body that would need protection.

It was almost six o'clock by the time we got to the cabin, but it was still light. We put the stuff away inside, and then we made ourselves drinks and walked around the property. He was impressed with the place. The cabin wasn't all that grand, but the land was gorgeous. He really liked the small river that ran through it.

"I'm going to take my clothes off," I announced. I then proceeded to strip to bare skin. It was a little cooler there than it had been in the city, but the fresh air felt really good against my skin. I dumped my clothes in a pile on the ground. I knew I could get them the next day. "I'm not putting on a stitch until we leave, so you're going to have to keep me warm."

He chuckled, but he bravely stripped, too. Our cocks were completely flaccid, or even a little shriveled by the cool air, and mine was at least twice, maybe even three times, as big as Mark's. He didn't seem embarrassed by that, though, as well he should not have been. Still, a lot of guys associate a big cock with masculinity, even though sometimes a big one can get in a guy's way.

We walked around till we finished our drinks; then we went back inside. I made a fire in the fireplace, and we made more drinks.

"If somebody had told me a week ago I'd be naked in a cabin in the woods with another man, I would have sworn he was crazy," Mark said. "But, you know? I'm having the best time of my life."

"What a nice thing to say, man," I replied. "I'm having a good time, too. I really like you."

"Thank you, Brian."

When I looked at him, I could tell he was starting to get emotional. I knew that hooking up with me had been very hard for him to do, but I was very pleased I could be his first guy.

After a time of silence, I figured we'd better get dinner on. He had had a pretty good lunch with his parents, but I was hungrier than hell.

"How do you like your steak," I asked.

"Medium rare."

"I can try for that," I said, and we both laughed.

"What can I do," he asked.

"Well, the salad is already made, the potatoes came stuffed and just need to be heated in the microwave. Why don't you just sit there and keep me company?"

"Okay, but tell me what I can do," he said.

"Open the wine and make us another round of drinks," I said. "Oh, and get that cheese and those crackers we bought."

He went into the kitchen to take care of that. I set up the grill on the fireplace. The fire was almost ready for cooking. I went into the kitchen and put the potatoes in the microwave. It would only take a few minutes to heat them up, but putting them in was something I could do ahead of time. I also put the salad in two bowls and poured the dressing on. Cooking for men is easy, I thought. No hassles with vegetables and shit like that.

We sat next to one another on the sofa and sort of luxuriated in the feeling of closeness and warmth produced by the fire and the drinks. After a few moments of silence, Mark asked,

"What are your plans for the future?"

I knew what he meant, of course, but, frankly, they weren't all that well worked out.

"Well, college next year, I guess. Nothing much beyond that at this point."

"Where?"

"Where, what?"

"Where do you want to go to college?"

"Someplace in the city. Probably UNO."

"Not Loyola or Tulane?"

"Well, maybe. But UNO is so close to where I live and all."

"You think you'll be living there this time next year?"

I shrugged. "I don't have any plans of moving out, if that's what you mean. I sometimes think I ought to live on my own or with a roommate like Chip. I don't know. What would you advise?"

"Your parents are both doctors, right?"

"Yeah, but they're fucking missionaries."

He laughed hard at that, but I didn't really mean it as a joke.

"Why," I asked.

"Well, finances shouldn't be a real problem for you. Am I right?"

"You're right. They've got plenty of money, and I've got my own, too. Where are you going with this?"

"Well, most guys who could get into an Ivy League school have trouble coming up with the money. You wouldn't."

"Ivy League? You mean like Harvard or Yale?"

"Or Princeton or Dartmouth or several others."

"Why would I want to go up north for college. My life is here. My friends are here. My parents will even be here eventually."

"Are you close to them? Your parents?"

"Yeah, I'd say so," I replied. "I'm their only child. They work a lot, but we spent time doing family stuff when I was younger. Lots of trips. They had to get out of town to have any real peace from their patients."

"I can imagine," he said.

"You're close to your parents, aren't you?"

"Not really. I'm an only child, too, and they're old. They think I hung the moon, but they really don't know me. Today my mom asked me if I have a girlfriend."

I chuckled at that.

"What did you say?"

"I said I'm seeing somebody. Meaning you, of course. I hope that was all right."

"You told them about me?" I was rather surprised.

"No. I just said I was seeing somebody. They assumed it's a woman, and that's what I wanted them to assume. I meant, am I safe in saying I'm seeing you?"

"You're fucking me. You've got to see somebody to fuck them."

He laughed and almost choked on his drink. I laughed, too. He gave me an affectionate slap on the leg.

"I'm going to cook the steaks before you propose." Again, laughter.

I went into the kitchen and got the meat. It was prime cut, and it looked good enough to eat raw to me at that moment. I had wolfed down cheese and crackers, but I was still hungry as hell. I turned on the microwave to heat the potatoes, and I set out salad bowls and plates and cutlery. When I went back into the living room, I noticed Mark was more than half hard, but I didn't say anything to him about his arousal. I put the steaks on the grill and set a timer for four minutes. When it went off, I'd turn them to the other side for three more minutes. When I sat back down next to Mark, he opened his legs wider for me to see his half-erection.

"You see what you do to me," he said.

"I haven't touched you," I replied. I knew what he meant, of course.

"Knock it off, Maxwell. You know what I mean."

"Yassah, Dr. Bode, suh. Ise really does know."

He hit me on the arm. "You asshole."

We both burst into hysterical laughter.

The meat was starting to smell really good. The timer went off, so I turned it. I went back into the kitchen and checked on the potatoes. They were steaming, so I didn't nuke 'em any more. I poured wine, put the salad on the table, got the salt and pepper. Then the timer went off again. I rushed in and took the steaks off the grill.

"How do these look," I asked Mark. I cut into one, and it looked like a perfect medium rare.

"Wow. You did it. They look wonderful."

"Thank the timer," I said, and, again, we both laughed.

The meal was delicious, and there wasn't a whole lot of conversation. I hadn't thought Mark would be all that hungry, but he ate everything on his plate and kind of looked like he wanted seconds, of which there were none. The wine was exceptionally good, and we eventually ended up finishing the bottle.

Over coffee and dessert, Mark said,

"Where is this going to lead?"

I knew he was talking about our relationship, but I didn't have an answer. So, I said the obvious.

"What are you talking about?"

"Us. You are my student, after all."

"Not this weekend. This weekend you're my student."

He chuckled. "Yes, I am. And you're a good teacher. I think I'm learning fast."

"You're learning very fast. Almost like you have an aptitude for gay sex."

He laughed. "I think you might be right, suh."

"Asshole."

We both cracked up.

"I've actually thought about that a little," I said. "You know I'm sort of involved with somebody at the moment."

"Yeah. Don, right?"

"Yes. But I don't know if that's really headed anywhere. He's been gone for four days, and he hasn't called me. I haven't called him because I don't know where he's staying. He's in Washington at a training conference on a new AS400 computer they're going to install at the hospital."

"Is it unusual for him to be gone?"

"He travels some. Not usually for two weeks at a time, but he's been gone for over a week before."

"Did he call you before?"

"Yeah, he did." I began thinking about the implications that fact might hold. Even though Don encouraged me in my dancing and movie making, I wasn't entirely sure he liked it. We had always said we wanted an open relationship, but I wasn't so sure Don was totally truthful in saying that.

"Anyway, back to us. I know I don't have to say this, but I want to say it anyway. Nobody at school can find out about us, okay?"

"You're right. You didn't have to say that."

He grinned at me.

"And I might have to be a little tougher on you than I would otherwise be inclined to be. Do you understand that?"

I nodded. "Just don't beat me, sir," I said, and Mark laughed.

"I was actually thinking more like pulling you to your feet by your tits."

"Oh, God. Would you, please?"

He laughed and punched me affectionately. I grabbed him around his neck and pulled him to me. That began our love-making for the evening, and, before it was over, Mark and I had each fucked one another.

The next morning I woke before Mark did. I took my morning piss off the front porch of the cabin and went inside to make coffee. By the time it was brewed and I had poured each of us a cup, he was beginning to stir. I got back in bed with the coffee. My body was chilled a bit from being outside naked, and his warmth felt really nice against my skin.

Mark answered the call of nature in a more conventional way, and he was still half hard when he came back to bed. We lay there, drinking coffee. I lit a cigarette and offered him one, but he declined saying it was just a bit early for him. He had one with his second cup of coffee, though, which I got for us in a few minutes.

"What do you want to do today," I asked.

"Oh, I don't know. Suck your cock. Fuck your ass. That kind of thing."

We both laughed.

I set our cups aside and leaned over to kiss him. I tasted the coffee and cigarette on his breath, and it tasted good, manly somehow. We fooled around for a little while until we were both hard and dripping.

"I want you to fuck me," I said. "From behind."

Up until then, the times Mark had fucked me I had been on my back. That was my usual preference, but I wanted some variety. He flipped me over and helped me up onto all fours. He played with my ass awhile, that time going so far as to run his tongue over my hole. It was electrifying, and I bucked a little from his touch. When he saw how much I liked it, he did it even more. He was turning into quite an inventive and intuitive lover, and I liked that.

After spending time loosening me up, he lubed my hole and inserted a couple of fingers. I concentrated on relaxing my sphincter, and his fingers entered me effortlessly. He played inside me for awhile.

"Is this your prostate," he asked.

"God, yes," I gasped.

"Do you like for me to do this," he asked as he rubbed it gently.

"Oh, yeah, Mark. I love that."

My cock started dripping precum, and I was actually getting close to orgasm.

"Stick your dick in me and fuck my ass before you make me come," I said.

He slapped my ass gently, but he removed his fingers and pulled me to the edge of the bed. He stood on the floor behind me and made me bend over onto my elbows. He entered me and draped his body over mine. He hugged me to him, and it was like our two bodies had become one. He fucked me slowly, and I was able to match his thrusts perfectly. I couldn't remember when I had had a better rhythm.

It often takes me longer to come in the morning than at other times during the day, and Mark must have been the same way. He rode me for twenty, thirty minutes, it seemed, and he would occasionally stop and pull almost all the way out when he sensed one of us was getting close. It had taken me a while to learn to do that, but Mark, an obvious natural fucker, had it down in a matter of days.

Mark announced his imminent orgasm. I tightened my ass muscles to help him along, and I could feel him contracting inside me. That made me need to come, as well, and I poured out a torrent of cum onto the sheets. I hadn't touched myself, and Mark hadn't touched my cock, either. With him still in me, I lowered myself onto the bed, and we lay there, fully satisfied and completely at one.

Eventually, all good things must end, though. He got soft inside me and popped out. I flipped over on the bed and grabbed him in a big bear hug. I kissed him long and passionately.

We showered and shaved together. We rubbed each other's cocks and got half hard, but we didn't come again. I think both of us were rather spent from the stupendous orgasms we had just experienced. It was fun just playing with him, though.

Once our shower was finished, we went into the kitchen. There was a chill in the air, so I turned on a couple of burners on the stove to warm us up. I made poached eggs and warmed pre-cooked bacon in the microwave, and Mark made toast and more coffee. We ate breakfast, chatting, but not really talking of anything of moment. After we cleaned up the breakfast things, we went back into the living room and I put more logs on the fire. I knew that in a couple of hours it would be warm enough to go outside naked, but we enjoyed the pleasure of the fire for the time being.

At one point I got up to take a leak. When I came back, I found that Mark had gotten the videos of me that we had brought. He was just starting one.

"Do you mind if we watch this," he asked.

"Hell, no. Just don't be grossed out by what I do."

"Somehow, I don't see that happening," he said.

We settled back to watch the movie. It was one featuring me, Chip, and Tommy Wagner.

"I know that boy," Mark said. "Who is that?"

"You ought to know him," I said. "He's in your class. That's Tommy Wagner."

"No, shit. I never would have guessed..."

I just laughed.

Compared to videos I've seen since, that one was cheap and tawdry. The sound was tinny, the camera angles trite, and the noises we made were as obviously fake on tape as they had been in real life. Mark commented a couple of times that the video was hot, and he developed an erection during the first scene. I assumed he hadn't seen many of those in the seminary.

Eventually, seeing myself on the screen and seeing Mark's reaction made me hard, too. I started playing with my dick. Mark saw what I was doing, and he played with his. During one of the suck scenes I leaned over and took his cock into my mouth. He moaned when I did it, and he came around the same time I did in the video. I jerked myself off onto my chest and used a napkin to wipe it off.

By the time the video was over, it was almost 11 o'clock, and I figured it was warm enough to go outside. We spent the rest of the day playing in the river and walking around. I loved being naked outside, and Mark seemed to enjoy it, too.

Around 5 o'clock I said, "I think we'd better get going. We don't have any more food, and tomorrow is a school day, after all."

He laughed. "You're right, but I really hate for this to end. This has been the most amazing weekend of my life."

"It's been pretty amazing for me, too," I said.

We packed our stuff, showered again, and got dressed to leave. Before we left the cabin, though, Mark grabbed me and kissed me with as much passion as I'd ever been kissed before.

"Thank you," he said. "You really don't know what this has meant to me."

I was a little embarrassed, but I accepted his compliment graciously. We drove back to New Orleans in almost total silence. I dropped him off and stopped at a sandwich shop to get something to eat. When I got home, the place was empty. I figured Chip was working, and Don was still out of town. I checked for messages on the answering machine, and there weren't any. I turned on my computer to check my e-mail, and there was a message from Mark.

"Brian," it said. "Thank you again for giving me the confidence to finally have a sex life. You taught me more in two days than I teach boys in a year, and you made it possible for me to begin thinking of relationships. You don't know what it's like to be burning inside and still to be a virgin at thirty-one. I feel as though now I'm finally a grown-up, thanks to you. By the way, don't forget to study for the vocabulary quiz tomorrow. Your eternally grateful Mark."

Reading that made me feel like I had created a new person. I thought long and hard that night about Mark and how I felt about him. I liked him and admired him and respected him, but that was really all there was to it for me. I had known all along that a full-fledged relationship with him was out of the question, and I really didn't want one. I thought about Don, too, and wondered why he hadn't called all weekend. I had had my pager with me the entire time at Mark's house and the cabin, and it never went off once.

The next day at school, Mark did, in fact, give a vocabulary quiz as he had promised the Friday before, and I did okay on it, for not having studied more than fifteen minutes. If I hadn't known what had happened since the previous Friday, I would have thought there was absolutely nothing different about him or about his relationship with me. One time our eyes met while he was lecturing, but it was the same kind of eye contact he had with every student. It pleased me that there would be no awkward hedging with him, and I looked upon him as someone whom I had helped through a difficulty.

After that first day back at school, the rest of the week was a piece of cake. I worked several nights and made close to $2,000.00, and I did all of the things I ordinarily did as a high school student. My birthday was approaching in a week, but that didn't really mean all that much to me. Turning eighteen was a big deal, but turning nineteen didn't hold much appeal. I waited for Don to call, but he didn't.

On Friday, I called his office to see if his secretary knew where he was staying. She did and gave me the phone number. I called him and had to leave a message on the voice mail for his room. He'll be home in a week, I reasoned. Not to worry.

The next week went by uneventfully. Chip and I met like two ships in the night from time to time, but I spent my time working, studying, and shooting pool with Tommy and Jackie. They seemed to be more and more in love every time I saw them. Jackie was a year older than Tommy--my age, really--and he was a freshman at UNO. They knew my birthday was the following Saturday, and they told me to keep it open for them.

Friday finally arrived. I was really sort of nervous about seeing Don after such a long time without any communication whatsoever. I wondered if he was all right. I wondered if I had done or said something before he left to put him off.

I cut my last period class on Friday and spent the time shopping for the meal I had planned for his return. I wanted him to know I had missed him. I made sure the house was spotless when I got home from the grocery store, and I set about preparing for his arrival. His plane was due in at 4:30, but I knew not to expect him until 5:30 or 6:00. I called the airport to see if his flight was on time, and it was.

At ten minutes to six I heard his car drive up. I went outside to greet him and to help him with his luggage. I wanted a big, wet kiss in the driveway, but I knew all I'd get was a peck on the cheek. Sure enough, that's what I got.

Once we were inside, I dropped his suitcase on the living room floor and grabbed him for the kiss I had wanted outside. The instant our lips touched I knew something was wrong, or different, at least. There was plenty of passion on my end, but Don didn't even open his lips to accept my tongue. I knew not to press the matter.

"Want a drink," I asked, cheerfully. Then, "God, I've missed you. How was the trip?"

"A drink would be great," he said. He sat down and started glancing at his mail that I had stacked neatly on the coffee table.

I fixed each of us a martini, very light on the vermouth. I brought in a tray of snacks for us to munch on. He took his drink without looking up or saying thanks, which was most unusual for him.

We sat there without talking for a few more seconds. I lit a cigarette, and Don continued to pour through his mail.

"This silence is killing me," I finally said.

"Sorry," he replied, somewhat distracted.

"Tell me about your trip. Was it fun? Did you learn a lot?"

"Yes to both questions," he said. There was a long pause, and I could tell he was trying to figure out how to tell me something.

"Er, Brian," he said and let his voice trail off.

"Yeah?"

"Well, er, I've thought for days about how to say this, and I haven't figured out a way that won't be abrupt. So, I'm just going to tell you. I met somebody on the trip, and I've taken a new job."

"What?" I had heard every word perfectly well, of course, but I couldn't think of anything else to say.

"He's a year older than I am, and he has his own computer consulting firm in Atlanta. What you and I have had has been great, but this man is going to be my life partner. I know it."

I was dumbstruck. I had thought maybe I had pissed him off or something, but I didn't expect that bit of news. I got large tears in my eyes, and I felt them slowly dribble down my cheeks. I wasn't really in love with Don, but I did care about him a great deal. Now he would be leaving my life, probably forever.

"When...when are you leaving," I asked.

"Tomorrow. Tomorrow night."

"So quick," I asked, and he nodded.

My cigarette had burned itself out without my noticing it. I put the butt into the ashtray and took a big slug of my drink.

"On my birthday," I said.

"Oh, shit, Brian. I forgot all about that. Jesus, I feel like a perfect fool about all this as it is, but I would never have left tomorrow if I had remembered it was your birthday."

"That's no big deal," I said.

That's when Don started crying. He hugged me tight and wrapped his arms around my head.

"I don't want to hurt you, Brian. I really do care about you, you know? I'm so sorry we had to end like this."

I got up and made us more drinks. I was kind of numb, and I thought maybe alcohol would help. I decided to skip making dinner. A million thoughts raced through my head, not the least of which was of having to move.

"What about your job," I asked.

"I'm going to work for Jason. That's his name. I'll be making twice what I make now as a consultant."

"Congratulations," I said. Then, after a pause, "Have you already told them at the hospital," I asked, as much to have something to say as for a real desire to know.

"Yeah. I actually came in yesterday, and I spent today tying up loose ends there. I slept at my brother's house last night."

"Oh," I said.

"And I put the house on the market. By the way, you can live here until it sells. Rent free."

"Thanks."

We sipped our drinks and smoked in silence. There were a million things I wanted to say to him, but at that moment I just couldn't think of what they were.

After a long time, he finally said, "You're such a gorgeous boy. I've really enjoyed our time together. You've been good for me."

I lost it when he said that. I left the room and went into Chip's room. I got on his bed in the fetal position and cried my eyes out. Don had been my first long-term boyfriend, and no one had ever dumped me before. I felt betrayed, belittled, and very much alone.

I stayed there a long time, but, eventually, the tears stopped. I had to get out of there. I couldn't spend the night in the house with him, but I really didn't have any place to go. Chip was working and would be home by midnight, probably, if he didn't go out when he got off. I could hear Don in our room--his room--packing. I quietly slipped out of the house without seeing him, got in my car, and started driving.

It was still hot and humid on that night in mid-October, so I had my car air conditioner turned up full blast. I got cold, though, and turned it off. I really didn't know what to do or where to go. Then, suddenly, I thought of Mark.

I dialed his number on my car phone, and he answered after two rings.

"It's me. Brian. Can I come over?"

Mark must have caught the stress in my voice and said, yes, of course.

It didn't take me long to get to his house. When he let me in, he knew immediately I was in some kind of emotional turmoil. He fixed us both scotches, and we settled on his sofa. I told him the whole story of what had happened.

"Can I stay here tonight," I asked.

"Of course, you can. You know that."

"Oh, thanks, man. I don't want to be around when he's packing tomorrow, either."

"Well, plan on spending the whole weekend, if you want to."

"I might. Let's see what happens."

We talked for a long time before we went to bed in separate rooms. I told Mark how I had met Don and how much fun we had had in the year we had been together. He asked me if I was in love with him, and I answered truthfully that I was not.

"Not in love, but I do love him."

"And I'm sure he loves you in the same way."

"Oh, I know he does. It was really hard for him to have to tell me. Plus, I'll get over it. I have friends. I have a life outside of our relationship."

"Where will you live?"

"I'll get an apartment," I said. "I've never lived alone, and I think I'd like to try it."

"I'll tell you. It's not bad," he said.

"I can afford it," I said.

"I've got a cousin who owns several properties around town. I'll see if she has anything, if you want me to."

"That would be cool. Don said I could stay in his house until he sells it, but I think I want to get settled on my own as soon as possible."

"I understand, and I don't blame you," he said. "We can call my cousin in the morning, if you feel like it."

"Yeah. Let's do that," I said.

Mark kissed me goodnight, and showed me to his guest bedroom. The drinks, the emotional upheaval, the ordinary fatigue of the end of a week--all of these made me fall into a deep sleep when my head hit the pillow. Before I passed out, though, I thought about the irony that I would start a new life on my birthday.