This story is fiction any similarities between persons either living or dead is purely coincidental (although any good writer will write what he knows). This is a story that deals with male-to-male relationships as well as homosexual sex. If this offends you or is illegal in your location please do not read any further. This statement releases me the author and the site wherein this story is posted from any legal action. Copyright 2000 by Patrick Sean Purdy.
Chapter 14: Home For Christmas
This was my first Christmas home since I came out. Like I said earlier, my mother was really supportive and I let her tell family members for me. I thought Christmas would be weird, but it wasn't any worse than previous years. After all, family gatherings were always good for laughs.
I felt skittish as I was walking up the gate towards my waiting mother an sister. I've been talking to everyone regularly since I came out; trying to keep normalcy, but I hadn't actually seen anybody face to face yet.
I exited the gate and there was my mother and sister, craning their necks looking past this businessman or that woman with the screaming baby (Why do people travel with infants?), trying to find me. I saw my mother first, and as we looked at each other I knew things with her would be all right. Her eyes lit up to see me for the first time since June.
"Evan," she screamed. "Look Julie, there he is." She pointed me out to my sister and Julie ran to me giving me a big hug. My sister was a high school senior and she was so much like me it wasn't funny. I wonder how Mom was going to handle Julie going away to college come the following fall. She was always happy and full of life, I missed that most about being so far away from her.
"Hey Jul," I said as we hugged tightly, "Did you miss your big brother?"
"Eh, a little," she said sarcastically.
"Yeah, I could tell. I bet Mom had to force you to come with her and pick me up."
"Well, of course, I could have gone shopping with Christine, but 'Nooo . . .' I had to pick up my big brother from the airport." Julie flashed me one of her big grins as she spoke. I put my arm around her and walked over to my mother.
"God," I said as I hugged Mom, "I've missed you."
"I've missed you too Evan, how's Brandon?" I was a little shocked, she went straight for the sensitive question, and she just wanted an answer. No big deal, it was a polite question.
"He's good. We went our separate ways in Atlanta, he should be in Philly already on his drive home."
"Good, how were finals?"
My mother, sister and I chatted about the usual stuff as we went to baggage claim, and then to the parking garage. I was so relieved that things turned out normal as we talked on our drive home to Northport. I was also very tired, it was getting later in the evening and I had gotten ready, met Brandon, found a new friend in Ashton, and come home after a three hour flight.
The following few days of Christmas Eve and Christmas were filled with family. The two days after Christmas were filled with old friends from high school with whom I kept in touch. I'd told a few of them that I was gay, and non-chalantly told people about my boyfriend when asked about my love life. I was given the understanding that I wasn't the only guy from our surrounding area who turned out to be gay. There wasn't a lot of names, but rumors abounded.
I had found the name and address of a well known gay club, St. Mark's Place. It was located in nearby Commack, so I didn't have to go too far. I decided that I would go to St. Mark's to see if I knew anybody there. It would be interesting to find out who had been hiding their lives as I once did. Maybe, I'd see somebody and realize I had more in common than I ever knew in high school.
It was a Sunday night, the third night after Christmas, so I knew it would be a "safe" night to go out. Most people had to work in the morning, or they were partied out, like I should be, if they were home from college. I wanted a bit of discovery and adventure, but only a bit. My heart was beating a little faster, and my stomach felt a little weird. I was so nervous that I hadn't eaten much at supper, and I knew that because of that I couldn't drink too much.
I arrived at St. Mark's Place at eleven-thirty. I entered and took note of the sign that said there would be a drag show and strippers tonight. I gave the man my ID and five-dollar cover; he gave me the once over. I felt like fresh meat already. I thought to myself, "I wish Brandon was here with me."
St. Mark's was decked out as a gothic cathedral. The door ways were arched, everything painted like stone and faux masonry. There were gargoyles hanging in the corners and a fresco of the heavens painted on the ceiling, then a thin layer of gray to affect soot of several hundred years. The lights on the walls were all fitted with those bulbs that flicker to give a real candle-light feel. The owner obviously put a lot of work into the place.
There was bar to the right of the entrance which also acted as a foyer and lounge. Provided as benches were pews, discarded from a closed church would be my guess. From the Lounge, there were two doorways leading to the main dance floor, which also acted as the stage for the shows. There were several pedestals around the dance floor on which stripper-dancers moved to the music. At the far end of the dance room, was another bar.
As I looked at all of this and got a feel for the place, I could feel some older men staring. It bothered me a bit, but I didn't care. Let them look, they weren't going to have me . . . but if they touched me; they had better beware.
I walked through the place and headed up to the bar at the end of the dance floor; I always enjoyed watching people dance. As I waited for the bartender to come around to me I noticed a guy my age down at the corner of the bar. Something about him was familiar, but I couldn't put a name to go with the face. After all, my graduating class had over five hundred students, and there were far more than that in the high school total, so it didn't surprise me that I couldn't remember his name.
The bartender came and took my order and walked away to prepare the drink. When I looked to the left again, the guy was gone. I looked around seeing if I could spot him, and maybe recognize him. The bartender came and placed my drink on the bar and took my money. I turned around waiting for change when I felt a finger tap me on the shoulder.
As I swung around, there was the guy from the corner of the bar. As he stood in front of me, I got a really good look at him. He was just under six-feet tall, he had brown hair and light brown eyes that shone just a bit. His skin was tanned; olive skin, really. The face was chiseled with a defined jaw-line, and his smile was pure white as he struck out his hand.
"Evan Tramore?"
"Yeah, that's me," I said, shaking his hand, "And if you give me a second I'll remember your name."
"Well, considering we only had one class in four years of high school together I wouldn't be too offended."
Then it hit me. "Your name is Jeremy. Jeremy, um, Brandt, correct?"
"Very good. How have you been?"
I told him of school in Florida, that I came home only for the holidays anymore, and that I was really enjoying it down there. He told me he was at Iona, and really enjoyed being so close to his parents "when he needed them." He also told me how living in The City had really changed his perception of it.
We ordered another round of drinks and continued talking, then I asked the big question.
"I never would have expected to see you here," I said, "When did you know that you were gay?"
"Well, I could say the same about you," he replied, "But to answer your question, I knew back in high school. Actually, the reason I remembered we had class together was because I thought I was lucky to sit behind such a cute guy."
"I'm sure I'm blushing," I said, "I think it must be the alcohol. However, you're pretty good looking yourself, so I'm sure you get your fair share of guys."
"Well, I'm too modest to agree, but I've been in and out of a few relationships, and I've gotten a fair share of looks from guys." He stopped for a moment and then continued, "What about you Evan? When did you know?"
"I'm not really sure, but I know it's been a part of me a while. I only recently came out however. I told my mother over the phone in the end of October, then my friends down at school, and all my friends up here just found out this past week, so I'm still adjusting to being out."
"Wow, what prompted that? Do you have a boyfriend that you can't hide any longer?"
"No, I just got tired of the closet. I pride myself honesty, and I wasn't being honest while I was hiding behind an assumed truth. The boyfriend came later."
"Oh, so you do have a boyfriend?"
"Yeah, his name's Brandon, he's a DJ." I continued to tell him all about Brandon, and he actually seemed interested in hearing it. We ordered some more to drink and we continued talking. I knew by talking to him I was taking away any chance he might have of picking somebody up, but he didn't seem to mind, so I didn't either.
We decided to go out on the dance floor a bit and let loose. We dance for about forty-five minutes straight. The older portion of the crowd seemed to thin out and it was replaced by a lot more guys closer in age to Jeremy and myself. Finally, I was just too tired and sweaty to dance any longer. I headed out to the lounge and I ordered another drink and a water. Jeremy followed my lead and ordered a water as well as another drink for himself.
We sat together on pew with red velvet cushions. There were a few other people on the pew so it was crowded at our end. I drank my water quickly, trying to replenish all I had perspired away. I sat there thinking of all that had happened to me in the last month and a half, taking sips here and there on my drink. Jeremy had his head down staring at his drink, also thinking about something.
I was thinking how nice a guy Jeremy was and how I couldn't believe I had overlooked him in high school. I knew that for the simple fact that we ran in different circles we should have been good friends. We had lived relatively close, had shared the same outer circle of friends, continued in very similar fields, and we were both gay.
I looked at him while I was thinking this and then he looked at me. He just flashed a bright white smile which I returned. My face softened as I thought of Brandon and his smile. Then, hardly realizing it, Jeremy leaned in and kissed me on the lips. I started briefly kissing back, and then I came to my senses. I pulled back sharply.
Jeremy's face blanched as he understood what he just did. I just felt shocked, and at the same time I felt angry with myself for allowing Jeremy to think the advance was welcome. We stared at each other wide-eyed for a few moments. Jeremy was the first to break the silence between us.
"Oh my God, Evan, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to. Well, I did, but I didn't think. I'm so sorry. It wasn't, I mean, well, I dunno what I mean, but I'm sorry. Evan, you have to know I would never do that . . . I know you are with Brandon, but for just a moment, I felt so attracted, and you have been nothing but nice all night. I know it's not an excuse, but . . . Jesus, I'm sorry. You'll never know how I feel about that. It was completely wrong."
He was babbling and I just raised my hand and put a finger to my lips. It was my turn to talk.
"Jeremy, it's all right. I know what you mean. If anybody should be apologizing it's me. I've been giving you mixed signals all night. I didn't realize it until now, but it's just my natural flirtatious personality. It's my fault, please forgive me. I don't blame you, but myself."
"Well, it was my decision to kiss you. For that I'm sorry, and I take responsibility for my actions."
We agreed to disagree on whose fault it was and chatted a little more, but that moment had definitely put a damper on the evening. We walked to our cars and I returned home.
All along the drive felt I had betrayed Brandon. I also wondered what this meant as far as what kind of person it makes me. Do I appear so forward to everyone?
I came to the decision that Brandon wouldn't know, and that I'd be the best man for him; that I'd be the man he deserved; that I would curb my flirtatious personality; and that I'd never go out alone again.
Chapter 15: New Year's Eve Preparations
The next two days went by without incident. Jeremy had given me a call, and neither one of us mentioned out indiscretion. We both found that the other was a pretty cool guy and we had lots in common besides. I continued to see other friends from high school and my family seemed to lighten up about my sexuality. My sister was bugging me for details about Brandon, with whom I spoke daily. In fact, if she answered the phone when he called, she'd talk to him just as long I as I would.
Things were pretty good, except I was missing Brandon terribly. The more we talked, the more I fell for him, and the more I missed him being near. It wouldn't be long though. By Sunday, we'd be reunited in Atlanta, and on our way back to Florida.
On Wednesday, I got up early and did some shopping. It was New Year's Eve and I was supposed to spend the evening with a bunch of my best friends. We had been celebrating New Year's in New York for the last four years and I wasn't about to miss the Fifth Anniversary. Every year when people across the country watch Dick Clark from Times Square, my friends and I are always down in the crowd. Snow, sleet, clear, it doesn't matter the weather, we've been there.
I was home by one o'clock in the afternoon, just in time for lunch. I had found some great clothes for the evening, and I needed to wash them before I wore them. I had started the wash, fixed lunch and was just vegetating on the couch when I heard the doorbell ring. I rose from the couch, half-jogging to the door. I really hated door-to-door salesmen and religious missionaries, but I opened it just the same.
"Tah-dah!!!" Brandon was standing before me on my doorstep, and I thought it was a dream. I was speechless and motionless, so much so that Brandon's face crossed a little and he said, "Well, aren't you happy to see me?"
I smiled, beaming really, and replied, "Absolutely babe." I stepped forward and gave Brandon a great big hug, lifting him up and swinging him saying, "You don't know how happy I am right now."
With that I put him down, took his face in both my hands and kissed him right there on my front step. He returned the kiss, and let his backpack fall off of him. Then, he must have become scared, because he pulled back from the kiss, and said, "Wait, we're out in the open in your home neighborhood."
"As long as you are here, I don't care." I reached for him again, but he pulled away and said we should grab his bags and get inside. He was right, I really didn't want to explain to my parents a scene if neighbors saw and we had really nosey neighbors. Lucky for me, most of them would be at work like my own parents.
"So, what are you doing here? How were you able to pull this off? You didn't tell your parents and get kicked out did you?" I started to feel really bad at this prospect.
"No, not at all, I just told my parents that I really wanted to enjoy New Year's Eve in New York. I told them I had friends from Jax who I would be with, and that I knew they'd have room for me. So, I told them a half truth. I approached them with the idea when I first got home, because I had already started missing you
"My mom asked if I was able to swing it financially, and I told her probably. Well, the day after Christmas she hands me the plane ticket, that takes me to New York, and tells me I can adjust the rest of my trip accordingly, just as long as I was happy.
"Evan, I was beaming, literally. My mom looks at me and says, 'That one you've been talking to is in New York, right?' I told her that she was correct. Basically, she said I seemed happier, and so if they could give this little bonus to make me happier, than it was worth it to them."
"Brandon, that great! I'm so glad you're here. I'd love to spend New Year's Eve with you. I only wish I had known you'd be coming, I went and bought a new outfit today and we could've gotten you one too."
"There's no need, I was given a ton of clothes and I did some shopping too; when I made my returns."
So, we sat down to lunch, and I called my parents asking them if Brandon could stay with us for the remainder of my stay. They were both a bit skeptical and I understood, it was a lot for them to deal with.
For both calls, Brandon spoke to my parents as well, and insisted that he would stay in the guest room and not sneak around. He made assurances that he wouldn't make them feel uncomfortable in their own house and I knew he was sincere. I also knew that I would have to follow the same guidelines. With all that, my parents had no problem in letting him stay, and they said they'd meet him at dinner on Thursday night.
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