-------------------------------------- About this story:
This is my first try at putting a story up on this nifty web site. Please Email me at Romangenesis@hotmail.com with your reaction to this story and any questions or comments you have. Special thanks to all of you who have written. It makes my writing seem worthwhile. So now, without further ado...
The Dreamer - Chapter 5
That night I slept like a baby and in the morning, when I usually felt like a human dumping ground, I now felt like the king of the world. I got ready for school and made it to the bus stop with time to spare. When I got on the bus I found the seat next to Michelle open and I sat down beside her. The good mood was visible all over my face.
"Who died?" Michelle asked sarcastically. She knew me so well.
I grinned and said, "Someone at work." During the ride to school Michelle and I made plans to go see a movie or something because I didn't have work and we never had time to really hang out anymore. I looked over and saw that Steve was on the bus as well, staring out in his usual tranquil way. Everything about him when he was sitting alone relayed peace and calm to those watching.
After we had gotten to school, as me and Michelle were walking down the hallway, Steve called for me to wait up. Michelle gave me a pretty strange look and I told her to go on without me.
"Hey, Alex," Steve said, coming up to me. "I won't be on the bus this afternoon."
I stared at him for a second unsure of what to say. Was I supposed to care?
After I didn't say anything he went on. "So, did you want to get together this weekend and study for English?"
I suddenly remembered that we were supposed to study. "Oh yeah," I said, feeling kind of stupid for having forgotten. I reached into my book bag and took out a scrap of paper. He gave me his number and I gave him mine and then he was off down the hallway. I watched him go for a moment before heading off to my own locker. Michelle was still there waiting for me.
"Michelle, I won't be on the bus this afternoon, but I'll give you a call this evening," I said, just as the first bell was ringing.
She agreed and after giving me one last smile she went off to her class. I had to feel sorry for her. She probably thought that tonight was going to be a date and I really didn't know how to tell her that I only wanted to be friends. I quickly headed off to my first class and began to think about what I was going to do after school.
English finally rolled around and when I got to class Justin was already in his seat talking to Shannon. He looked up at me when I walked in, but didn't even give me the half smile that he usually did. I wondered if he was mad at me. I don't know what I would have done if he was.
The final two presentations were today and Shannon was the last to go. Her presentation was perfect and I could tell from the look on Croon's face that she was going to get the 'A' she had worked for. I couldn't stand that bitch. I looked over at Justin and found him completely enthralled by her speech. Or maybe it was her...
I shook the thought out of my head. There was no way that Justin was attracted to Shannon. I wouldn't allow it. Sitting there staring at him I finally decided what I would do. After my last class I would run out as fast as I could to the spot where I had stopped following Justin and wait there for him. Then he would come walking by and "run into me."
I felt very clever for having made this plan. The rest of the day dragged on like usual. It seemed that the only reason I had for coming to school anymore was to see Justin and hopefully my plan today would pay off.
In my last period class I packed my stuff up about ten minutes until the bell rang and waited patiently. It seemed like an eternity between each minute. The closer the minute hand drew toward twelve after, the more nervous I became. I couldn't fuck this up like I did at the store the other day. It was one minute till and I stood up and got with the crowd that was gathering around the door. It was Friday and people were going to be scrambling like crazy to get away from this hell hole.
The bell rang and I raced through the hallway dodging people left and right. I wasn't running, but I was power walking pretty fast. I got out into the student parking lot and stopped dead in my tracks. I saw Justin out by one of the cars in the last isle and talking to a group of people. I felt really sick all of a sudden and then realized that one of the girls in the group was Shannon. I thought I was going to throw up.
I hid behind one of the cars in the parking lot and tried to control my overwhelming sense of loneliness and despair. I stood there a moment contemplating what I should do. If I hurried I could still make it to the bus.
I turned back around and saw that Justin was walking away from the group alone and down the street. Instinct took over and I began to follow him about thirty yards behind. My plan of getting to where he was going to be before him was shot, but at least this way I could see where he lived and better plan a rendezvous.
He turned off the main road into one of the neighborhoods and when I finally got to the street, I found it completely empty. I had lost him.
I had already missed the bus so I began to stroll down the street anyway, led on by curiosity more than anything else. It was a pretty narrow street with golden maple trees running all the way down to the roundabout. I felt like I had stepped out of the real world and into heaven. The houses were absolutely beautiful.
"Were you waiting for me?" a voice said from behind me. I spun around and saw Justin leaning up against the trunk of one of the huge maple trees. My heart skipped a beat.
"No, I was just..." I fumbled for words, but they weren't coming to me. "Walking home. I was walking home and I saw this street and I..."
He giggled playfully at my predicament. "It's all right," he said reassuring me. "I don't mind." He began to walk toward me, not a shred of nervousness or hesitation on him. There was something completely unnatural about the way he was acting and it scared me to death.
He stepped right up to me, a friendly, kind grin implanted on his slender, youthful face. "What are you looking for Alex Winter?" he asked. If I had been speechless before, now I was completely lost. Why had he called me by my full name?
"What?" I mouth the word, but no noise came out.
His kind, beautiful eyes looked deep into mine and he continued to smile. His manner was so playful. "I know what you did to Tim McDaniel," he said. "Just because you hate yourself doesn't mean you have to hurt others."
My heart began to pound in my chest. How did he know that? "Oh Alex," he said, the sympathy dripping from his words. "You feel so alone, so isolated." He reached down and took my hand in his own, the touch sending chills up my arm. This can't be happening, I told myself. It's a dream. It's a dream. It's a dream... I tried to wake up, but something deep down in the base of my mind told me that this was no dream.
"I know what you're going through," he told me. I had never felt such love and kindness in a person before. It was as if he was here just for me and then as if reading my mind he said, "I think I might have come here just to meet you."
After he said that I broke down. My eyes began to tear up and I searched for the words to express how I felt, but I couldn't. Nothing could express the complete sense of appreciation I felt for him in that moment.
Suddenly he let go of my hand and took a step back and as he did, it felt like half of my being had been taken away... half of my soul. "Good bye Alex," he said. He turned around and began to walk away down the street. No, it couldn't end like this.
"Justin," I called after him, my voice barely able to speak the words. He turned back and looked at me, but I didn't know what to say. I just didn't want him to leave me. He nodded his head slowly and continued down the road.
Soon, he was around the bend and I was all alone on the heavenly, beautiful street. The wind picked up and threw gold maple leaves through the air. I could have stayed there forever if I hadn't forgotten the beauty and power of the place. My mind, though, was a thousand miles from this little piece of heaven and a thousand miles from me.
It was about six o'clock when I got home. I hadn't made any effort to get home quickly. I had so many thoughts rushing through my head and I couldn't keep one for more than a fleeting second. "Where have you been?" my mom asked worried and slightly pissed.
"Nowhere," I said and retreated to my room. I sat down on my bed and stared into nothing for about half an hour when my mom knocked on the door and told me I had a phone call. She handed me the phone and weakly said, "Hello?"
"Alex, this is Michelle. You never called." I suddenly remembered that I was supposed to go out with her tonight. The idea of just telling her I wasn't up to it crossed my mind, but I knew I couldn't do that to her again. We decided to go to the movies and her mom drove us there. It sucked not having a car, but at the present time I really didn't think about it too much.
I really must have been out of it because she somehow succeeded in getting me to go to one of the chick flicks with her. I really wasn't watching the movie and sometime in the middle of it Michelle slipped her hand into mine. The touch of her hand on mine didn't do nearly as much to me as Justin's hand had. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine it was Justin next to me holding my hand. I began to get an erection so I opened my eyes to reassure myself that it was only Michelle's hand I was holding.
A few rows up there was a young couple making out and I figured Michelle must have been getting pretty depressed right about now. You really did have to feel sorry for her. She thought we were on a date and all she wanted to do was to hold me and be close to me. My hand was getting hot in hers so I slowly took it out of her grip and folded my arms. She was visibly upset with this, but I was beginning not to care. She must have been spoiled as a child, I thought.
When the movie was over we headed outside and waited for her mom to pick us up. She was being really quiet and it was making me feel uncomfortable. "So, how did you like the movie?" I asked.
"It was fine," she answered quickly. Her whole body language expressed how pissed she was at me, but I pretended not to notice. It wasn't my fault I didn't like her. I was starting to get pissed as well because she was treating me like this. I dug my fingernails into the flesh of my palm trying to calm myself.
In the car her mom kept asking us about the movie and we both gave quick half-answers. Her mom probably thought we had a fight of something. I stared out the window at the passing headlights that zoomed through the night and dug harder into my skin with my nails.
I was like one of those headlights, racing through the night toward some unknown future. I sought that future, that unknown companion that slowly retreated as we neared. No longer would I stand on the sidelines of fate and watch as my life took turn after turn without my express sanction. It was time to take back the reins and face the changing world with the strength of an adult and not the weakness of a child.
I pulled my fingernails away from my palm and was pleasantly surprised to see I had drawn blood. I looked up at Michelle who was in the front seat brooding and placed my bloody finger into my mouth. A thin smile crossed my face, distorting it into a twisted vision of evil.
End of Chapter 5 ---------------------------------------
Email me and tell me what you think of my story. Questions or comments are welcome. I'm writing this for you all, so feel free to give me some suggestions or whatever. Chapter 6 and the moment you've all been waiting for should come in a few days hopefully.