Chapter 5 -- A fly on the wall
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I looked at the clock on the wall, 9.15. "Well," I began, "let's get going, I'd rather get this over with". Rick glanced at the clock. "Well, we'll be a little early, but I guess that'll be Ok". "Um, does Ellen have any guns?" I asked. Rick's eyebrows furrowed as he thought. "No, no I'm pretty sure she doesn't have any of her own guns, and I've already brought over my own guns". "You have?" "Yeah. I brought my deer hunting rifle, a .30-06. And my 12-gauge shotgun. I put them in the kitchen closet where I saw you have your .22 rifle. And my 9mm handgun is in the nightstand, next to our bed". "Jesus" I muttered. "And I hope you weren't planning on trying to shoot anyone with that .22 rifle, you'd just make em mad". "My rifle isn't for shooting people, it's for varmints. I've shot a couple of rattlesnakes over the years that got too close to the house. And a couple ground squirrels, for the same reason". "Well, you should have better home protection". I shrugged. "Never felt I needed it. Que sera, sera". Rick snorted. "Yeah, right. What will be will be better for you if you have better home protection. Word around town is that you're a Trump hating librul'. Those Trumpers can be crazy, and mean. Do you want any shooting lessons with any of my guns?" "No thanks. I've never cared for handguns, and like them even less after our little chat with your father yesterday. Your shotgun will do just fine if I should ever need it. You don't have to be a good shot with a shotgun, just aim it in their general direction and it will take care of things". Rick laughed. "Well, you need to have a bit better aim with a shotgun than that. But, whatever. The shells are in the kitchen drawer over there if you ever need them". "Fine. Well, let's get going and get this thing over with".
We pulled up to Rick and Ellen's house, a neat little white wood framed house on a quiet residential street. Rick parked in the driveway and motioned for me to follow him. A lady answered his knock, I assumed she must be Ellen. She was a thin, medium height lady with frizzled bleached blonde hair. "Hey" she greeted Rick. "Hey" Rick greeted her back. "Um, this is my buddy Dave". "Hey" she greeted me. Rick handed her a small stack of papers. "Here are the divorce papers. I thought you might want to check them over while Dave and I gather my tools and hook a tow bar onto the old pickup". She took the papers and closed the door. My first impression that she was unhappy. Yeah, your husband dropping off divorce papers while he gathered up the last of his things is not going to be a happy occasion, but my impression was that she was really miserable in her life. Life apparently hadn't been the one long rose parade she had expected.
We struggled with the heavy tool chests, and especially with the heavy floor jack. "Geez, you really like to work on cars" I complained. "Yeah, I do. You can save a lot of money doing your own work on cars. Don't you like to work on cars?" "I like them to start up when I turn the key and take me where I want to go" I replied. "And when they need oil changed or any other service I take it to a service garage". Rick shook his head. "That's a waste of money, I'll change your oil from now on. And when was the last time you had the spark plugs changed?" I looked at him curiously. "Why would you ever want to change a spark plug? I like them just the way they are". Rick laughed. "I'll check it out for you". Rick carefully backed his truck up to an old pickup truck, and hooked a tow bar up. I looked at the old pickup. The body was painted with gray primer paint. I looked inside the cabin, the dashboard was on the seat, exposing a mess of wires. "Why would you want this old pickup, it looks older than shit". "It's a classic" Rick admonished me. "It's a 1975 Ford F-150. I want to restore it to pristine condition". "Well, I guess we all have to have our hobbies" I shrugged.
We went to the door and knocked, Ellen let us in. We went into the living room; Rick and I sat on the sofa, Ellen sat in an upholstered chair across from us. I looked around the room. The walls were covered in what I thought was cheap looking fake knotty pine paneling. There were a bunch of shelf units around, stuffed full of nick-nacks -- photos, plastic flowers, flowery vases and pottery. Definitely a woman's house, Rick obviously never had a say in decor.
"So, I looked over the divorce papers" Ellen began. "Everything looks pretty fair, where do I sign?" "Last page" Rick said. "Bottom of the last page. I've already signed it, you just need to sign next to mine, and date it". Ellen scribbled on the paper, and them threw them at Rick. I continued to look around, and looked down a hallway that obviously led to bedrooms. I noticed a door ajar. "Are the kids at school?" I asked. Ellen frowned. "Paul and Sarah are. Steve said he was sick this morning, so he's here, sick in bed". "Did you tell the kids that Rick and I were coming over this morning?" Ellen frowned. "Yeah, I mentioned it to them last night. Why?". "Oh, nothing, nothing really". I struggled to suppress my smile. A fly on the wall, huh? No, you don't get much past Steve.
Ellen turned to Rick. "So, who is she?" "Who?" he replied innocently. "Don't give me that shit, you know goddamned well who". "Why would that matter?" Rick replied. "So I can tell everyone who will listen how the cheap, sleezy slut stole my husband" Ellen spat out. "No one stole anyone from anybody. YOU drove me away. You drove me away with your constant nagging, bitching, complaining, and just making my life one constant hell hole". "FUCK YOU" Ellen shouted. "Calm down" Rick said firmly, "we agreed to keep this civil". Ellen looked away, a sullen look on her face. "Do you remember, years ago, we went over to Tucson, to the Park Place mall?" Rick asked. Ellen shook her head. "You caught me checking out a chick I thought was hot. You told me if you ever caught me with another woman you would cut off my balls". Ellen laughed sarcastically. "I don't remember that specifically, but that sounds like something I would say. But don't worry, you're safe -- I wouldn't want to go to jail over trying to castrate you. As much as I'd like to". Rick smiled. "Well, you never said anything about if you caught me with a man". Ellen cocked her eye. "Are you trying to suggest you're queer?". She shook her head vigorously. "No, I don't buy that for a second. You're a dirty two-timing sonnabitch, but you're not a queer, I would know that". "Well, it's true" Rick assured her. "There is no she', there's only a he'. But there's only ever been one `he' in my life, I'm in love with Dave".
Ellen looked stunned, and then she shook her head. "Uh-uh. Nope, not buying that". Rick took me into his arms and kissed me. I resisted, trying to spare Ellen any humiliation. Also, the thought that it might set her off and she'd go berserk was in the back of my mind. "Nope, still not buying it" Ellen persisted. "Dave doesn't like it, I can see that". I turned to look at her. "I was only trying to spare your feelings, Ellen. But fine, have it your way". I took Rick into my arms and kissed him passionately. Our tongues intertwined, our arms tightly embracing, exploring each other.
"STOP IT" Ellen screamed. "Stop it, stop it, stop it! You fucking bastard! Do you mean to tell me the 20 years of our marriage has all been a lie?" "No," Rick began softly "I sincerely loved you when we first married. And I loved you when you gave birth to Steve, and loved you when you gave us Paul, and then Sarah. It's just the past several years that you changed. Something has changed for you, you're obviously miserable in your life. But it's your life, and only you can change whatever is making you unhappy. But you don't get to make my life miserable just because you are. And I was always faithful to you, until last fall, when I met Dave. He invited me to his house, and we got high and had sex, and I loved it. I stopped by his place after work every week or so and we'd get high and fuck, and then I'd rush to get home so that you wouldn't bitch at me for being late for dinner. And then when we had that big fight Christmas Eve? I went straight to his house and his arms. We got to spend the night together for the first time, and we've slept together every night since".
Ellen looked around the room with a sullen look on her face, She shook her head. "I can't believe it, I don't want to believe it. My husband has gone gay on me. So, which one of you faggots is the cock sucker? Which one of you faggots likes to play the husband, which one of you plays the wife?" "Oh, Dave's a great cocksucker, Rick volunteered, "that's how he started getting me hooked on it". "Oh, you're not too shabby yourself" I protested. You're a fast learner, you suck a mean dick". "Thanks" Rick said, smiling. He turned to Ellen. "And as to who plays the wife'? I love being on the bottom. Dave . . ." "Shut up!" Ellen shouted. "Just shut the fuck up!" "But you asked" Rick protested. "Yeah, well now I don't want to hear it. Just get the fuck out! Get the fuck out!" We rose up to leave. "Ellen" I began, "um, you're not going to spread this around . . .?" Ellen looked skeptically at me. "Tell anyone who will listen that my husband likes your dick a helluva lot better than my pussy? No, I don't think so. They won't hear that from me". I nodded. "It's better that way. Folks are pretty conservative around here". "Just get out. I would say nice to meet you, Dave', but I would be lying. I hope the hell I never see you again". I smiled. "Mutual, I'm sure".