The Edge of Darkness

The following story is a work of fiction and does not represent any living person. They story contains sex between consenting adult men. The author retains all rights to the story. Please do not reproduce without prior consent.

The Edge of Darkness By Ethan Y.

-------------------------- Chapter Four - The Kiss --------------------------

He watches him silently from the corner, as he moves throughout the kitchen. He admires his agility, the way he dances with ease as he manoeuvres around the kitchen, the way his slender frame grooves to his own beat. He admires the way he smiles, the way his eyes light up a room, even when he is alone. The way his dark hair falls constantly in front of his eyes, and how he carelessly brushes it back. The way his beauty makes his heart melt.

Before this weekend, Jacob knew he was madly in love with Logan. He didn't know one night could make those feelings even stronger. But last night was no ordinary night. Jacob knows something is different about today. He's happy. The happiest he has been in as long as he can remember. As he stares at Logan, his mind races back to the night before and the passion the two shared in bed. Jacob has had his doubts about their future, but last night erased all of those. Standing here this morning he is sure, Logan is the one for him. Logan is the love of his life.

"Hey, I didn't even see you there," Logan says turning around.

"Was just thinking how sexy you look while cooking," Jacob says walking into the kitchen.

"If you think flattery will get me into the kitchen more often, you're mistaken."

"I thought I would give it a try," Jacob says planting a light kiss on Logan's lips. "You need any help?"

"Yeah, if you don't mind. If you could cut up some of the vegetables that would be great."

"Where is everyone?"

"Rhys and Oliver went for a hike ..."

"Oliver went on a hike?" Jacob barely lets Logan finish.

"Yeah, they're probably humping in the forest. And Zach and Liam went for a walk."

"Ah, did you meet this mysterious Zach? Is he a cool guy?"

This was the part Logan was dreading, whether or not he should tell Jacob the truth. Jacob knows all about Logan's previous boyfriends. He knows Zach wasn't just any guy; he was someone special.

Zach was Logan's first boyfriend. The two met when they were in elementary school and became best friends. They were inseparable. They did everything together, sleepovers, soccer camp, learning how to drive. It was only in high school that Logan realized what he felt for Zach was more than just friendship; he was sexually attracted to him. Deep down Logan always knew he was gay, but he never admitted it to himself. When he finally did, it scared the life out of him. Not because of what people would think; he knew his family would support him. He only cared about what Zach would think. He thought Zach was straight. Zach would talk about girls, though he didn't date either. He feared telling Zach would mean losing his best friend. It wasn't until their senior year, when one night Logan was drunk, that he let it slip. That led to the best moment of his life. Zach leaned in and kissed him on the lips. A dream he had seen a thousand times came true. Turns out, Zach too was madly in love with Logan, but also too afraid to say anything. From then on, the two were together whenever they could be. They only told a few people, Logan's parents and a few select friends. Zach was afraid his parents would react negatively. Logan didn't mind. The two already spent almost all of their time together, so Zach's parents didn't suspect anything. But it all came to an end one horrible day, not far from here.

For Logan, the day Zach walked out of his life, he lost more than just a boyfriend, he lost his best friend. He lost the first guy he ever kissed. The first guy he ever slept with. The guy he first explored his sexuality with. The guy he shared his deepest and most personal secrets with. The guy he felt more secure with than any other person he's ever known. The guy that to this day a part of him still loves, and always will.

Logan, now feeling like an idiot, pretty much told Jacob all of this, and how much Zach meant to him. How could he now tell Jacob that that same Zach was staying in the same house as them? He knows it won't go over well. Jacob isn't usually crazy jealous, but he can be at times. Given how rocky their relationship has been, and how insecure Jacob has been feeling, Logan feels like he shouldn't rock the boat. He knows lying is not smart, and that this will lead to a fight. But he would rather delay that fight until Zach is gone. He knows he is making a mistake by lying, but Logan feels he has no choice.

"Yeah, he's a nice guy. What are you doing?" Logan asks pretending to be annoyed as he watches Jacob cut up a cucumber.

"What? I'm cutting a cucumber."

"That's not how you cut a cucumber."

"There's a wrong way to cut a cucumber? That's ridiculous," Jacob says ignoring his boyfriend.

"There is, and you've mastered it! It's for people to put in their burgers, you need thin slices - not big chunks!"

"I'll have you know this is how gourmet chefs cut cucumbers. It's the latest craze. But you're just not as cultured or worldly as me to know that," Jacob teases.

"We all can't be like you. I'm going to go fire up the grill. When I come back, I want to see thin slices!"

"Yes, sir!" Jacob says with a smile.

It is moments like these that Jacob cherishes. Not getting yelled at for messing up a cucumber, but spending time with his boyfriend, and being silly. Laughing. Working together. Being together. He knows he truly has found someone special. He intends to hold on as long as he can.

"That's much better," Logan says coming back into the kitchen. "Not perfect, but better. And here," he says tossing something towards Jacob, "you left your wallet outside. You need to be more careful."

"Thanks," Jacob says catching it. "That's odd."

"What?" Logan says turning towards him.

"I thought I had 50 bucks in here ... but, I probably spent it or put it somewhere else, whatever. And these are perfect!" he says referring to the cucumber slices. "What can I do to perfection next?"

The rest of the morning goes by the same, Jacob is silly, Logan teases him, as the two prepare lunch. Soon Liam and Zach are back, followed shortly by Rhys and Oliver. After introductions, they all sit down to eat.

"Did you enjoy your hike?" Jacob asks Rhys and Oliver.

"Yeah, it was okay," Rhys says with a grin. "We had a good, long, hot workout."

"Dude, be cool," Oliver says jabbing Rhys in the rib cage. "The hike was great."

"Of course. Oh, and Rhys," Jacob says, "you still have some leaves stuck in your hair. Must have been quite a session, I'm sorry, I mean hike."

Rhys isn't fazed by any of this, in fact he loves it. He's never been shy to hide his sexual side. He quickly combs his fingers through his hair. "Now that the cat is out of the bag, how about we quiz the new guy. Zach, my man, how's it going?"

"It's good, thanks for asking," he replies.

"How long have you two been dating?" Rhys asks next. He has no filters. "Liam didn't even tell us you existed! We only found out yesterday. By the way, Liam, I am totally going to give you crap for that later."

"We've been dating for about a month," Zach answers.

"A month! And we only find out now," Jacob interjects. "Not cool man, not cool."

"I didn't want to jinx it!" Liam says in his defence.

"You saying we're a bad luck charm?" Oliver interjects. He tries to act like he is offended.

"I ... I didn't say that ..." Liam clearly is starting to feel a bit overwhelmed. Liam easily gets flustered.

"Relax guys, its no big deal," Logan says coming to Liam's aid. They may not be a bad luck charm, but Logan feels he probably is. If only they all knew. "Besides, I don't blame Liam. If I found a new guy, not that I'm looking by the way, but if I did, I would totally not introduce him to this wonderful group of clowns I call my friends." Before anyone can respond, Logan continues: "Okay, so we have burgers, fries, salad, a bunch of condiments, there is beer, juice, whatever - help yourselves guys."

"I cut the cucumbers, by the way! Also, can I grab anyone a beer?" Jacob asks getting up. A bunch of guys nod their heads. "And what about you Zach?"

"No, thanks man, I'm good with juice," he responds.

"Not a beer fan?" Rhys asks.

"Ah, no. I don't drink," Zach says.

"Ever?" Rhys asks surprised.

"Yeah." Zach responds.

"That's cool," Jacob adds. "Hey, you didn't take a burger ..." he says to Zach.

"I also don't eat meat ..." Zach adds.

"Wait, what? You don't drink AND you don't eat meat? What do you do then?" Oliver jumps in.

"Well, I eat meat ... but only certain meat. I'm Muslim."

"Oh, I didn't know Zach was a Muslim name," Jacob says.

"It's short for Zachariya, which was the name of a prophet. It's not super common among Muslim families."

"I would have never guessed, you look so white ..." Rhys starts to say.

"Dude!" Oliver cuts in. "Be cool."

"It's okay, people get confused a lot because my skin colour is quite fair. But I'm actually brown."

"I was curious about that," Rhys finishes. "I wanted to ask but didn't want to offend."

"Since when do you care about offending anyone?" Oliver asks surprised.

"Sometimes ..." he smiles back.

"It's okay," Zach says. "I get the question `where are you from' all the time. No one can ever tell."

"Oh, I hate that question!" Oliver says. "Everyone always asks if I'm from China. My parents were from there, but they moved to Canada years ago. I was born here, I'm from here!"

"Yeah, I always say Canadian," Zach continues, "but then I get the question no, where are you from' with a lot of emphasis on from', like I don't know what the word `from' means. So I usually just narrow it down to a city to annoy them."

"Yes!" Oliver says excited someone in the group knows his pain. "It's like we can never just be Canadian', you know. At the very least we are hyphenated, Chinese-Canadian'."

"I've never really been asked that before ..." Jacob says.

"Yeah, it's because you're white," Oliver adds.

"So, are you religious?" Rhys asks Zach.

"Ah, a bit, but not really. I would say I am more spiritual. I believe in God. I don't pray or go to the mosque often, even though I should. But I do abide by certain things, like not eating pork, or non-halal meat, or drinking. That kind of stuff."

"Doesn't being Muslim though conflict with you being gay?" Rhys asks.

"Dude!" Oliver says jabbing Rhys in the ribs really hard. "Maybe you shouldn't ask the new guy so many personal questions."

"I'm actually quite curious, and not trying to be rude," Rhys says in his defence. "It's just I've never met a gay Muslim before, so I'm intrigued. But feel free to tell me to shut up."

"It's okay, you're not the first person to ask me that. I had a good friend who thought it made no sense to practice Islam because he argued I was negating everything by being gay. So even if I prayed, it didn't matter, because if I slept with a guy I would go to hell. They argued you can't be Muslim and gay and I know some people do feel that way. I disagree. I know homosexuality is interpreted as being wrong in Islam, but I truly believe God made me this way, and he can't punish me for that. And if God made me this way, can it truly be wrong? And even if being gay is wrong, that doesn't mean I should just commit sin after sin, or that I should stop trying to be a good person. Because for me, that is what religion is all about, it's about being a good person. It shouldn't matter who I love, or who I invite into my bed, though technically yes, I know having sex before marriage is also wrong. It should be about the type of person I am. How I treat others, the deeds I commit while on this planet. That is what I should be judged on. Being Muslim to me means being a good person, and that is something I don't think I can ever give up. I don't know if all of that is wrong, or makes any sense, but it is sort of how I feel. This is something I've struggled with this for years, and I think it is something I will continue to struggle with for many more."

"That totally makes sense," a couple of guys say.

"That's why I'm not religious," Rhys adds. "I don't need any institution judging me for the way I feel inside. But I must say props for you for really sticking to how you feel, I'm sure it can't be easy."

"It isn't," Zach says.

"How do your parents feel about this? Are they religious?" Jacob asks.

"They are very religious, unfortunately, and that has been an on-going challenge. Let's just say that's when I actually wish I wasn't brown ... maybe if I were white it would be easier," Zach says.

"That's not true, I'm white," Jacob adds. "And I'm Catholic. Trust me, my parents were not thrilled. A lot of what you said about religion and homosexuality also applies to the Catholic Church. People there can be just as judgemental. There was this kid in Sunday school who announced he was gay and it did not go well. He was kicked out of class, his parents were mortified and stopped coming to our church. I remember hearing a lot of bigoted comments. That's why I stayed in the closet. I saw what happened with him and didn't want to be the next target."

"I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you had a better experience coming out. So, how do you navigate religion and your sexuality?" Zach asks Jacob.

"I don't go to church anymore. I can't stand the hypocrisy. But, to appease my parents, I will go with them on Easter, or Christmas. I observe the holidays, but that's about it for me."

"Also, I would like to say, it isn't any easier being Chinese!" Oliver adds. "My parents were furious! They thought I had been corrupted by Western ways. My mom wanted to put me in therapy. Because to her, homosexuality was a white-person thing only, and not something that affected `our kind'. My mom's not racist, I would like to add. Ok, maybe just a bit."

"I'm sure there are lots of gay Chinese people," Liam says.

"Really. Name one," Oliver challenges.

"George Takei," he responds.

"Japanese-American."

"Oh, that guy from `How to Get Away With Murder', Oliver!" Liam fires back. "Just like you!"

"Filipino, I think," Oliver says. "And don't say that's the same thing. Trust me. There aren't many. Take it a step further. How many Chinese guys do you see in gay porn?" All of them fall silent. "Yeah, I thought so."

"Do you get the gay Asian stereotypes a lot?" Zach adds. "I do, when I tell them I'm South Asian."

"ALL THE TIME! Don't even get me started. If another guy thinks I'm submissive, or that my dick is small, I'm going to lose my mind. And then we get comments all the time too," Oliver says pointing to Rhys.

"Yeah, everyone thinks because I am white and he is Chinese, that I have some sort of Asian fetish," Rhys says. "I do," he says with a smile, "but it's none of their business."

"Okay, we both know the two of you are weirdly kinky," Logan laughs.

"True," Rhys says, "but it's not because he's Chinese. I just like sex!"

"So, did your mom force you to go to therapy?" Zach asks Oliver.

"No, but we had a lot of fights over it. She's cool now. It took my parents some time, but they came around. They don't love the idea, but I have a brother, so as long as someone can give them grandchildren, they are happy."

"Wait, you don't want to have kids with me?" Rhys says in what is a surprisingly serious tone.

"What?" Oliver looks scared. "You want kids?"

"Yes," Rhys says seriously.

"Really?" Oliver asks surprised.

"No!" Rhys says laughing. "Just keeping you on your toes."

"For me," Jacob says, "my mom is okay with it now, though some of her church friends don't make it easy. My dad is still not there. He barely talks to me now, and whenever we do it is awkward. What about you, Zach?"

"It's unfortunately complicated" Zach says.

"Oh, that sucks man. I know it can be really difficult in the beginning. Hopefully one day it won't be as complicated," Jacob responds.

"Yeah, I hope so. Anyway this conversation is way too serious. Rhys, quick say something inappropriate," Zach says.

"You've known me for five minutes, why would you think I say random inappropriate things?"

"Just a hunch," Zach says.

"Well you're right. Okay, so the other day I walked into this sex shop ..."

After lunch a bunch of guys start an impromptu soccer match. They all insist on helping Logan clean up, but he forces them to start without him. Liam stays back. He's never been much of an athlete.

"I'm okay wrapping all this up," Logan says to Liam. "Go, enjoy yourself."

"It'll be faster together," Liam says as he shoves stuff back into the fridge. "Lunch was great, by the way!"

"Thanks, man."

"Also, have you seen my watch? I can't find it anywhere? I thought I left it on the side table but can't seem to find it now."

"Dunno man, I haven't seen it, but if I do I'll let you know."

"Okay. Thanks ..." Liam just stops and stares at Logan.

"What's up man?" Logan asks. He can tell something is up. Liam seems weird.

"I wanted to have a word with you for a second."

Dread over takes Logan. Liam knows the truth. "Sure, what's up?"

"Credit Valley High ... soccer team ... sound familiar?" Liam asks. That's the high school both Logan and Zach attended.

"You know."

"Yeah. I figured it out and confronted Zach."

"I'm so sorry. I should have told you the truth ..." Logan starts.

"You should have. Why didn't you?"

"I thought if you knew it would upset you, and I didn't want you to have a bad weekend. I know how hard it's been for you to put yourself out there and explore who you are, and I didn't want your first weekend away with a guy to be ruined because of me. Zach and I have a complicated past, as he may have told you. I don't want that to get in the way of your happiness. I know that all sounds like an excuse, but it's not. I understand if you're angry."

"You're one of my closest friends, Logan. I've told you stuff I haven't shared with anyone, my parents, Zach, or other friends. I trust you more than anyone. I appreciate you looking out for me, I really do, but at the end of the day you being honest with me is the most important thing."

"I get that, and again I am sorry."

"It does sound like you two have quite the past," Liam says.

Unsure what Zach has told him, Logan decides to tread lightly. "We did. But it was a long time ago."

"Yeah, Zach said you haven't spoken in years."

"No, we haven't. And as you can imagine it was quite a shock seeing him here yesterday night. I never thought I would see or speak to him again. Yet there he was. It brought back so many memories, good and bad."

"I can't image that was easy," Liam says.

"No, it wasn't, and it still isn't."

"What happened between you two?"

"It doesn't really matter, does it? It didn't work out. Sometimes that happens," Logan says getting back to work.

"Zach told me you cheated on him, which I found ..."

Logan doesn't let Liam finish his sentence. "What!? He told you that? I did not cheat on him."

"But, Zach said ..."

"Oh, I know what Zach thinks. But I did not cheat on him."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to ..." Liam starts.

"It's okay, buddy, it's just a contentious topic, as you can imagine."

"I was going to say ... you don't seem like the kind of guy who would be unfaithful."

"I'm not! I never was. But, you know what, it doesn't matter. As I said, it is in the past, and there is no point in bringing it up. It won't make a difference. I'm with Jacob. You're with Zach. I wish you the best with him."

"Thanks, Logan."

"Oh, and if you don't mind, I haven't told Jacob yet, so if you could just keep this quiet for now ..."

"Absolutely."

He can't get the statement out of his head. All afternoon, all Logan can think about is what Liam said: `Zach told me you cheated on him'. Even though it has been years since Logan and Zach broke up, the statement still deeply bothers him. So much so, that the first opportunity he gets, Logan decides to go for a walk. He needs to be alone to collect his thoughts. Having Zach here has messed with his emotions, and he hasn't had the time to really think. Logan needs some time to quietly reflect.

He knows it is odd he still comes to this cliff to find peace. It was here, a few years ago, that Logan last saw Zach. A few summers ago, Zach came to the cottage in a rage. He accused Logan of being unfaithful and sleeping with one of their classmates, Nick. At first, Logan thought it was an awful joke. Logan would never even dream of cheating on Zach. Plus, he was not even remotely attracted to Nick, who was straight! Logan told Zach it was not true. But Zach wouldn't believe him. He was adamant that it happened. He accused Logan of not wanting to wait for him to reveal their relationship, and for betraying him behind his back. To this day Logan has no idea where Zach got that false information. All he would say is that he got it from a reliable source. Zach ended their relationship that night and stormed off. The two never spoke again, until just this weekend.

Sitting on the ledge, Logan keeps replaying that night. Logan was always okay with staying in the closet. He didn't care, as long as Zach was in there with him. But a few days before their breakup, he did ask Zach if he would be willing to be a bit more open. He was only checking, and not asking. But Zach took it the wrong way. He reminded Logan that his parents were not as accepting and would not understand. Logan didn't think much of it at the time; he figured Zach would be okay in a day or two. But later at the cottage, when he accused Logan of cheating, he also accused him of being unwilling to wait. Zach was convinced Logan wanted to move on, which is why he had found a new lover. Even now, to this day, all of that sounds absurd to Logan. He would have waited in the closet forever.

This ledge isn't entirely marred by that one awful night, however. Logan still likes to come here because it reminds him of one of the best nights of his life. It had been exactly a year since Logan had told Zach his true feelings and the two had kissed. Logan thought Zach forgot about the anniversary, but that was far from the case. Zach planned an elaborate candlelit dinner for the two. The meal was fantastic, but it was what happened next that stays with Logan. The two made love under the stars.

Being young, horny lads, the two had sex often. They couldn't get enough of each other. Usually it was raw, fast-paced and hard. But that night was completely different. It was slow, sensual and romantic. There was just something about being in the open air that electrified both of them. Perhaps being in the closet, and behind closed doors, they always felt caged. But being outdoors, it was their opportunity to show the world just how crazy they were about each other. They weren't afraid to display their love.

That energy carried them through the night. Logan still remembers Zach lying on his stomach, his beautiful butt exposed to the midnight air. How he ran his fingers down Zach's back, taking in his lover's body. He then positioned his dick against Zach's waiting hole. He remembers how it felt to enter Zach, and that sense of being at peace. How Zach arched his back. How he moaned. How Logan took his arms and wrapped them around Zach's chest, lifting him up until they were both on their knees. How he pressed his torso against Zach's back as he continued to enter his beloved man. How Zach turned his head, and their lips briefly met, as they made love.

Then it was Zach's turn, but he had a different position in mind. He lay Logan down on his back and lifted his legs in the air. To this day, Logan can clearly see the smile on Zach's face, the way the moonlight hit his eyes, as he entered Logan's hole. He still remembers that feeling, that sense of being complete, as Zach's dick penetrated him repeatedly. And how Zach leaned down and kissed him on the lips, all the while keeping up his perfect rhythm. Logan remembers the way his toes curled as waves of pleasure washed over his body. And how when Zach broke off that kiss, he kept his lips so close. And in that moment said the three words Logan thought he would never hear: I love you.

He wants to talk to him again. All Zach can think about is Logan. But he hasn't been able to find the right time. After lunch, they all played soccer while Logan stayed inside. After they were done, Logan took off. Zach knows where he likely went, but hasn't had time to get away. Liam has constantly been by his side.

After a short walk, Zach and Liam head back to the cottage where they find Oliver and Rhys lying together on a deck chair, making out.

"Hey, what are you guys up to?" Zach asks

"Oliver was going on about being gay and Chinese again. So I found a way to quiet him. Look at what you started," Rhys says to Zach.

"Sorry!"

"Where are Logan and Jacob?" Liam says grabbing a chair.

"Jacob went to town to grab some stuff for dinner tonight, and I think Logan is with him," Oliver says.

"They're totally doing it in the forest," Rhys says. "Good. Maybe now we can sleep tonight."

"Who said anything about sleeping tonight?" Oliver teases Rhys.

"Okay, too much information," Liam says.

"Oh, give it a break, you're no saint. I heard you and Zach too last night," Rhys says. "You're pretty loud and slutty in bed."

Liam couldn't possibly turn a darker shade of red. He is easily embarrassed. "Sorry ..."

"I was lying!" Rhys says with a laugh. "I didn't hear a thing. But now we know. Thanks."

"You're awful," Liam says.

"Oh, relax, we all have sex. It's what humans do! No need to be shy about it!"

"I have to say, Rhys, you're definitely my favourite of the group," Zach says.

"Well, obviously. Was it even a competition?" Rhys says laughing.

"Nope. So, where did you grow up, Oliver?" Zach asks. "I'm a bit confused because I thought you and Jacob are best friends, but Jacob isn't from here?"

"No, neither am I," Oliver says. "I also grew up on the West Coast. I actually moved here a few days before Jacob."

"And it sounds like you've known each other for a long time?"

"Since kindergarten actually. Jacob is my oldest and closest friend."

"That's awesome. It must be interesting having a best friend who also is gay," Zach says.

"It is. We went through a lot of the same things at the same time in our teen years, and even now ... so we really can relate to one another," says Oliver.

"I'm going to take a page from Rhys and ask ... did you two ever?" Zach asks hesitantly, not sure if he is about to step on a minefield.

"No, we never. I love him and all, but nothing like that."

"Sometimes it is best to keep friends just as friends," Zach says. "So, then, how did you end up meeting Rhys?"

"I met Rhys at a bar about a year ago, and we've been together ever since."

"You left out all the fun details," Rhys says with a smile.

"They don't want to know the details," Oliver replies.

"No, I think we do," Zach responds with a smile.

"Rhys approached me to ask if I wanted to have a threesome."

"What? Really?" Liam asks shocked.

"Did you?" Zach asks excitedly.

"Well, no, but Rhys and I had sex that night," Oliver says.

"There was no third guy. It's just a pickup line I use," Rhys says with a smile.

"Well, clearly it works! I'm curious, do you have any inhibitions?" Zach asks Rhys.

"Nope," he quickly replies. "I like sex. I'm good at it. It makes me feel good. We all do it. What's there to be ashamed of?"

"Amen, brother," Zach says. "Have you always been this way?"

"As far as I can remember. Used to get me into shit loads of trouble, though."

"Still does," Oliver adds.

"True."

"How so?" Zach asks.

"Well ... going skinny dipping in a busy public pool I now know is frowned upon. I was eight and my friend dared me, so I did it. Let's see, what else. Having sex in the washroom at my school. Getting caught having sex in the school washroom ..."

"What did people say when they found out? And your parents?" Liam asks.

"I was openly gay, so no one was surprised. Parents were a bit disappointed and told me to be more careful. Though, to be honest I don't think they were surprised either."

"How did you feel?" asks Zach.

"Thrilled! I had sex with Jackson Knight!" Rhys says with the biggest smile on his face.

"Who is that?" Liam asks.

"Only THE most popular kid in school. Everyone thought he was straight. But they didn't think that after they heard what we did together."

"Someone dare you to sleep with him too?" Zach asks.

"Nah, that was all me. Guy's gotta have some goals, you know."

"What ever happened to Jackson? Was he pissed?" Liam asks.

"Yeah. He tried to tell everyone he wasn't gay, that it was all me. I didn't care. I knew he would be back," Rhys says.

"And did he come back?"

"Have you seen me? Of course he came back! We had a lot of fun."

"You've clearly had some adventures. What's the craziest sex you've ever had?" Zach asks.

"Craziest ... wow. Hmm. Having sex on the beach ..."

"Wait, I thought you said you never had sex outdoors?" Oliver asks.

"I just said that to get into your pants," Rhys says with a smile.

"Did you get caught?" Liam asks a bit curious and mortified.

"Almost. That was the exciting part. We were so close to people, yet we managed to stay hidden. That was exhilarating. Oh, and of course, the time I slept with my teacher ..."

"You slept with your teacher!" Zach says with a huge smile on his face. "You're my hero."

"Well, I wasn't in high school at the time. I was in university, but went back to visit, and I ran into him. I always thought he was crazy, fucking, hot. I loved the whole salt and pepper hair. And so I tried my charm. I always thought he swung our way. And he did. The sex was so, so, good."

"How old was he?" Liam asks.

"Mid-50s probably."

"Isn't that old and kind of weird ..."

"Why? Who cares how old he was? Older guys have more experience in bed. You should try it one day. Oh, and of course, every time I'm with this guy is exciting," he says patting Oliver on the shoulder.

"Yeah, yeah, save it," Oliver says.

"When did you know you were gay?" Liam asks Rhys.

"Honestly, I think I always knew. It was just something that was part of who I was. And I accepted it pretty quickly. I know I'm probably the exception to the rule. But it made me happy, and I do what makes me happy."

"How did you come out?" Zach asks.

"It wasn't a big thing. One day while at dinner I told my mom I had a date with my boyfriend that night, and she replied, don't be out too late."

"That's it?" Liam asks surprised.

"Yeah. They knew. It was so obvious. I think what would have shocked them is if I sat down and told them I was straight! So I never really needed to come out."

"You're lucky," Liam says. "I was nervous for weeks!"

"I never did hear how you came out," Oliver says.

"Well it wasn't that long ago. It took me a long time to be okay with who I am. Not everyone is as quick as you, Rhys. I told my siblings first, and they were really cool with it. My brother said he always knew. As for my parents, I made them this big dinner, and we all sat down together as a family. I nearly had a heart attack, and almost backed out a million times, but my brother urged me to tell them. I barely got the words out and had to repeat myself three times. My parents took it better than I thought. My mom said she always kind of knew, but my dad was surprised. Weird how some people pick up on things, and others don't. In the end it wasn't that eventful."

"That's a good thing," Oliver says. "Better than your mom cursing the demons in the Western World."

"Yeah, much better than that."

"What about you, Zach? How did you tell your parents?" Rhys asks.

"I never did ..."

"Oh, so they don't know?" Oliver asks.

"Oh, they know. I just never told them."

"You were outed?" Rhys asks surprised.

"Yep."

"Do you know who told them?"

"No. They never told me how they found out. I assume it had to be one of my friends, since only a few people knew. Or maybe I was careless. But yeah ... there was no sit-down chat."

"Dude, that sucks, to have that taken away from you, and not doing it on your own terms," Oliver says.

"I know. One day, out of the blue, I got this long lecture from my dad about responsibility, family and religion. I had no idea what he was going on about. Then he said he found out about my filthy habit. I was so confused. He wouldn't say it. He wouldn't say the word. So I did. I said gay'. And he was furious. My mom just sobbed the whole time. He told me never to say that word again in his house. I told him if he has a problem with the word then he has a problem with me. Long story short, I am no longer welcome at my parent's house ever again, until I come back to the right path'."

"Fuck, dude that's awful. I'm so sorry," Oliver says.

"Yeah man, so sorry," Rhys adds.

"It's okay. They had to find out eventually. It sucks that I didn't get to tell them, but hey, at least I know how they feel, right?"

"True, but that's still gotta hurt," Oliver says.

"Yeah. Okay, wow, another serious conversation in one day. What's going on guys! We're on holidays. Quick, Rhys, say something trashy."

"Well, if you guys like stories of older men, I could tell you guys about the time I seduced my friend's father ..."

From there the conversation takes a markedly more raunchy turn ...

It isn't easy, but Zach finally shakes off Liam. The conversation with Rhys, Oliver and Liam was a good distraction, but Zach still can't stop thinking about Logan. He has to find him. And so, when Liam goes to take a shower, Zach takes off. He knows exactly where to go.

"I thought I would find you here," Zach says walking out of the forest and towards the cliff.

Logan turns to see Zach. "It's where you left me all those years ago ..."

"Yeah ..."

"And where you told me you loved me ..." Logan adds.

"If I recall you told me you loved me too that night."

"I did," Logan says standing up. "And I meant it."

"What's the point in reliving the past?" Zach asks.

"Then why did you come here?" Logan asks walking towards him.

"You left so quickly ... I thought ..." But Zach doesn't finish his sentence.

"You thought what?"

"This isn't easy for me either," Zach says looking away. "Seeing you so abruptly out of the blue ..."

"I know. But I'm not the one who left. You did. You cut me out," Logan says.

"You didn't leave me a choice," Zach says.

Logan grabs Zach by the arm and forces him to look him in the eyes. "You had a choice. You could have believed me. You could have trusted me. You chose not to."

Zach quickly yanks his arm away. "None of that matters anymore ... it's in the past."

"It matters to me. You still think I cheated on you. That's what you told Liam. The fact that all these years later you still don't trust me ..."

"I trust you -- it's just easier believing that ..." Zach yells.

"What?" Logan asks confused.

"I know you didn't cheat on me."

Zach's words weigh heavily on Logan. "You know ... then why did you ..." Logan can't even finish his sentence.

"I realized you were telling the truth a few months later. But by then you were gone. And, I knew you would never want me back. So, it was just easier for me to believe you were unfaithful ... it was easier to live with myself that way ... and not constantly be reminded how I screwed up the best thing that ever happened to me."

"What made you finally believe me?"

"It doesn't matter," Zach says

"It does to me."

Zach sighs heavily. "Fine. Do you remember Max from our English class in university?"

"Yeah ..." Max was just some guy that Logan knew in passing.

"There were rumours Nick was cheating on his girlfriend and sleeping around with a dude. One day, Max saw Nick making out with another guy. The guy was wearing a orange spring jacket ... the same kind I got you for your birthday. Max took a picture and showed a bunch of people. It was a bit blurry but it looked just like you. I was convinced it was you. But then, a few months after our breakup I saw Nick. He was no longer in the closet, and was dating the guy in the orange jacket. He wasn't you."

Logan is speechless. He doesn't know how to respond.

"Say something ..." Zach pleads.

"I don't even know what to say to that. You ended our relationship and left based on something you heard from a guy you barely knew?"

"But I'm back now."

"You're not back now!" Logan yells. "This was coincidence us meeting like this."

"Or fate. The world brought us back together. Think about it. I could have dated anyone, yet I date your friend Liam. We could have met in the city countless times. Yet I end up here out of all places. Maybe this is the world telling us that we're not over."

"We're over. That's me telling you," Logan says angrily.

"You're telling me you still don't have feelings for me?" Zach asks taking a step closer to Logan. "That you still don't care."

"Of course I care," Logan practically screams. "But, that doesn't mean we're the same people we were before. You broke my heart. Getting over you was the hardest thing I've ever done. And now ... too much time has passed. It's not the same. I'm with Jacob now."

"So, you're saying that somewhere in your soul you still don't love me?" Zach asks.

"I'll always care ... but ... no ... I don't," Logan says lying to himself.

"Bullshit."

"You can believe whatever you want," Logan says. "But it's the truth."

"Look me in the eyes," Zach persists. "You're saying you feel nothing?"

"That feeling is gone."

"Okay. What about this?" Zach takes a quick step forward, and before Logan can even blink, Zach's lips are on his, his hands on Logan's waist pulling him closer. And in that moment Logan is lost. He's taken back to a time, to a feeling, he thought was long gone. But the moment is short lived. He pushes Zach just as quickly away. "You're going to tell me that meant nothing?"

The two stare at each other, their mouths open, their breathing heavy.

"No. It doesn't."

"Fine. Then I guess there isn't anything left to say, I'll leave you alone."

But what neither knows is that they aren't alone. There are always eyes watching in the forest.

"Why do we have to leave tonight?" Liam asks confused as Zach stuffs his bag with his clothes.

"I have to get some stuff done in the city. I'm sorry, I need to get back." Zach doesn't want to stay here a minute longer. He can't be around Logan.

"I would prefer not to drive back in the dark ... I barely made it here the first time. We can leave first thing in the morning."

"It would just be easier if we left tonight. I'll make it up to you, I promise," Zach says with a grin.

"Did something happen? Did someone say something to you? Was it Rhys and his questions?"

"Of course not, babe. Your friends have been great. I'm good. You ready?"

"I guess so ..." Liam says. "Was it Logan?"

"No. Logan has been fine. Really, it's me."

"Okay. Let's go."

But as Zach lifts his bag and walks towards the door, something Logan said comes back to him. Zach is running again. Running away from his problems, from Logan. He doesn't want to be the one who ruins this a second time. No. He wants to fight for Logan. He wants to stay.

"You know what, on second thought, we can leave tomorrow," Zach says with a change of heart.

"What? Why the sudden change?" Liam asks now even more confused.

"You deserve to spend time with your friends this weekend. You don't get these opportunities often. I can get my stuff done another time. Let's stay."

"You sure?" Liam asks a smile creeping across his face.

"Absolutely."

"You're the best. If you're up for it I can show you just how much I appreciate you staying," Liam says.

"I'm a bit tired right now. Maybe we can just lie down for a bit?"

"Absolutely." Liam has always loved just cuddling with Zach in bed. "I'm really sorry to hear about your parents. I can't imagine what it must have been like to be outed."

"Thanks, Liam. It sucked. I would never do that to anyone."

"Neither would I," Liam says. "Even by accident, I hope I don't. I know Logan once said he accidentally outed someone and he regrets it to this day."

"Really, that's interesting. Did he ever tell you who he outed?"

"No, I never asked him."

The two talk for a bit before Liam dozes off. Zach doesn't sleep all night.

----------

"Jacob, wait!" Oliver pleads with his friend. "Stop."

"No. He has to pay for this," Jacob yells. "Logan can't get away with this. He can't."

"You're angry, you don't want to do something you'll regret."

"Maybe I do, Oliver. Maybe I do. Maybe it's time I finally stick up for myself. Maybe it's time I refuse to be a doormat. Maybe it's time someone pays fucking attention to MY feelings."

"I pay attention to your feelings, Jacob, I always have," Oliver says trying to plead with his friend.

"I gave him my heart, Oliver."

"I know."

"And he ripped it apart."

"And I can't begin to imagine how that feels, Jacob. But he was never worthy of your heart. You deserve someone much better than him. Please, just come back inside."

"This is something I have to do."

And with that he storms off. Oliver gives chase, but he is no athlete. In the thick trees, he soon loses Jacob.

"Please don't do something stupid ..."

End of Chapter Four.

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