The following story is a work of fiction and does not represent any living person. They story contains sex between consenting adult men. The author retains all rights to the story. Please do not reproduce without prior consent.
The Edge of Darkness By Ethan Y.
------------------------------ Chapter Six - The Aftermath ------------------------------
He doesn't open his eyes. Logan pretends to be asleep as his mom calls out his name. If they know he is awake they will ask him questions, and he doesn't know what to say. He can't talk to the police. Not yet. Not until he fully remembers what happened. And so he keeps his eyes closed.
"Most of the boys seem to be pointing at a former boyfriend, Zach. Do you know him?" the officer asks.
"Yes," Logan's mother says. "But Zach could never hurt Logan. The two were childhood friends. They were inseparable," Logan's mother replies. "I know Zach. I practically raised him, he was over so often. Zach wouldn't do this."
"But they broke up. I'm told it didn't end well."
"No, it didn't. Logan never told me what happened. But one day Zach was just completely out of his life. Logan was heartbroken for months."
"One of the boys, uh ..." the officer flips through his notes," ... Rhys, said it seemed the two fought, and that he saw Zach go after Logan into the forest."
The fight. Zach accused Logan of something, but Logan can't remember the details. All he can remember is feeling extremely angry.
"I've known Zach since he was a boy. I know how much they cared for each other. I just don't see him hurting Logan. But I don't know. Maybe he did," Logan's mom says.
"Well, that same boy Rhys says Logan and Zach kissed the night before, and that Jacob found out and stormed off in a fit of rage."
The kiss! It comes back to Logan sharply. He remembers Zach's lips on his, and that feeling of guilt. His mind is so focused on that moment, he doesn't realize his heart rate has started to increase rapidly. The next moment a bunch of monitors are beeping, and several people come running. He can't understand what is going on, but clearly they are worried. He opens his eyes to see a familiar face. It helps calm him down.
"Logan ... hey buddy, how you doing?" Dr. Young asks.
"Okay ..." he says. "My mom?"
"She's outside. What's going on? Your heart rate spiked all of a sudden ..."
"I heard her talking to the officer, and I was just trying to remember ..."
"It's okay, you need to calm down. It will all come back to you. Just relax. It will take time."
"But the officer, my mom ..." Logan starts.
"I'll deal with them. You need to rest. I'm going to give you something to help you sleep, okay?"
"Okay."
Logan is not sure how many hours he is asleep. When he wakes up it is dark outside, and he is alone. Even with the lights dimmed he can see his surroundings. The room is full of balloons, bears and cards. He can also see his casts. His left arm is fully wrapped, so too is his leg. His other arm is heavily bruised. It must have been quite a fall. He can't actually remember hitting the ground. He can only remember parts of that day, but not the moments leading up to the fall. He's not even sure which memories he can trust. All of them are mixed up. He's not sure they are even real. He's on a lot of drugs, and he isn't sure if some are just hallucinations. So much is still so blurry.
"Okay, Logan, go through what you do remember," he says to himself.
"Zach was there. He is Liam's boyfriend. We fought about something. He kissed me. I pushed him away. He was at the cliff. He was there. We talked. But was that Saturday or Sunday? Or both days?
"Liam. The last conversation I remember having with Liam is when he said Zach accused me of cheating. That was Saturday, I think. Did I see Liam on Sunday? I don't remember. Maybe.
"Rhys. I remember Rhys. We had a fight. I accused him of something. But I was wrong, right? How do I know I was wrong? He must have been there. He was there. Or was he?
"Moving on. Oliver. Oliver. I didn't talk much to Oliver over the weekend. I didn't see him much on Saturday after lunch. I don't remember seeing him on Sunday at all.
"And last but not least, Jacob. I really messed this one up. We made up on Friday night. I remember how much I wanted him after seeing Zach. Then on Saturday night, the same thing happened after that kiss. I never told him about that. Zach wouldn't have. Or would he? But Jacob knows. So maybe I did tell Jacob? Maybe we did see each other on Sunday? Was he at the cliff, too? I don't know.
"Okay, so basically the people who could have pushed me are: Zach, Rhys, Liam, Oliver or Jacob. Out of those we can eliminate Rhys, Oliver and Liam. They don't know where the cliff is, so how would they know where to find me? I have no issues with Oliver. With Rhys, what possibly could we have fought about that would have made him that angry? He doesn't make sense. Same goes for Liam. He could have been angry about my relationship with Zach, but enough to hurt me? Maybe he found out about the kiss? That would have made him angry. But, I'm stronger than Liam. So he's out. That leaves Jacob and Zach. Zach knew where to find me. We fought. Jacob also knows about the cliff, and he knows about the kiss. So, Jacob or Zach ..."
Logan honestly doesn't know. Part of him is glad. Knowing Zach or Jacob purposely hurt him would be devastating.
"You're awake ..." a familiar and friendly voice says from the door. It's the same doctor he saw this morning, and he's pretty sure he saw him the night before too.
"Yeah, just woke up," Logan responds.
"Good. How are you feeling?"
"I feel better. My head isn't hurting as much."
"Good, I'm glad to hear that." The doctor spends the next few minutes performing some tests and asking Logan a bunch of questions about his health.
"Can I ask you a question?" Logan asks.
"Go for it," the doctor says.
"Do they not let you go home?"
He starts to laugh. "I'm on the night shift. I was just wrapping up in the morning when I came into your room. Now, I'm back again for another shift."
"What time is it?"
"About 4 in the morning."
"I slept for that long!?" Logan is surprised. It felt like he just took a short nap.
"Yup. Only the good stuff for my patients. It seemed like you needed to rest. You freaked us out. Your heart rate jumped really quickly."
"I was just trying to remember."
"It will take some time."
"I'm starting to get fragments back, just little pieces."
"That's good. You'll get back more. Remember, you're also on some pretty powerful drugs."
"Only the good stuff, right?" Logan says with a smile.
"Of course. It's good to see you smile."
"Where's my mom?"
"She's been here every night. I knew you would be out for a while, so I sent her home. It will be good for her to get some rest too."
"Have I had any visitors ... it seems like I have?"
"Besides your family, no. We don't usually allow anyone but family into the ICU. Plus, your parents asked us not to let anyone else visit, given what happened."
"Oh."
"But it seems like people are still coming and leaving you stuff. You're quite popular," he says looking at the various gifts around the room.
"I guess not that popular, if one of my friends tried to kill me," Logan says. "I can't believe someone would do that to me. I thought they were my friends. I thought I was a good person ... I guess not ... Sorry, you probably don't care about my stupid problems. I'm sure you're busy with other patients."
"Hey, don't discount your problems, and they are not stupid. I'm sure you're a good person. I can't imagine what you're going through. I heard the police when I was here, and that they think it was deliberate. That must be really hard. If you need to talk, go ahead. It's a quiet night, and plus after checking on you I was going to take my dinner break."
"Don't you want to eat? I'm so sorry for keeping you," Logan says.
"Oh, don't worry. I stole your pudding cup when you were sleeping."
"Really? Do doctors do that?"
"No! I was joking," he laughs. "Not that I should say this, because you have to eat it, but the food here isn't really good."
"Say if I never remember, then what happens?"
"Well, everyone is different. You did have a traumatic injury, so it is possible you may not remember. But most people eventually do, though how long after varies a lot."
"What can I do to help speed along the process?"
"Various things. Get a lot of rest! When you get out of here, and back into your regular surroundings, that will help. People sometimes remember things with visual clues, retracing their steps."
That gives Logan an idea. "Hey, is my cell phone here?"
"Probably in the bag with all of your stuff."
"Would you mind checking?"
"Of course not. But if I find it, I don't want you glued to your phone. Only for a few minutes, okay? You really need to rest."
"I promise. Only five minutes."
"Ah, let's see. Here it is. Here," the doctor says passing it to Logan. He raises the bed so Logan is sitting. "I'll be back in five minutes, and I want to see you resting."
"I promise."
When the doctor leaves Logan tries to turn on his phone. He took a bunch of pictures that weekend, and maybe a visual clue will trigger a memory, something that will give him answers. But the battery is dead.
"I figure you'd need one of these," the doctor says coming back with a charger. "Remember, five minutes."
"Five minutes."
The phone comes back to life. He gets dozens of notifications of missed calls, and messages, but he ignores them. Logan nervously goes to his photos. There are a bunch of pictures with him and Jacob. There is Liam, Rhys, Oliver. Unfortunately there is Zach in the background in a few. He keeps flipping through the pictures. And then he stops. He goes back. He remembers that shirt. Something about the colour. It seems familiar. But he doesn't know why.
And then it comes back to him. The last thing he saw as he fell. He knows who pushed him.
He doesn't know when, but at some point Logan dozes off. He wakes up as his bed is being moved. He is being transferred to a ward, now that he is in stable condition. His favourite doc bids him farewell, and a speedy recovery, and promises to check up on him while Logan is still here.
Logan has barely settled in when someone knocks on the door. He quickly closes his eyes. He doesn't want any visitors, at least not yet. He can hear footsteps getting closer to the bed. The person stops, and places something on the table.
"Still asleep," a familiar voice says. "Get well soon."
Logan opens his eyes.
"Sir ..." he says.
The man is already at the door. He stops and turns around.
"Hey, Logan. I didn't wake you, did I?"
"No. I'm surprised to see you here." Professor Watson is Logan's dissertation supervisor. Logan has spent many hours in his office going over his thesis proposal. Mr. Watson has always been so patient and kind. He's young for a professor. Logan always guessed he was in his low to mid 30s.
"I came to see how you were doing."
"I'm okay. I'm told I should heal."
"That's really good to hear. Is there anything I can do for you? Is there anything you need?"
"A bit more time for my thesis?"
"Logan, of course. Don't even worry about that. I've already spoken with the dean and you've been granted an extension. All you need to do right now is focus on getting better. Your thesis can wait."
"That's really nice of you. Thank you."
"It's the least I can do. If there is anything else, please don't hesitate to ask."
"Thank you. Can I ask you something?"
"Of course."
"If someone does something wrong ... but there is a chance they didn't mean it ... should you forgive them?"
"Well, that depends on many things. What they did, their intent, and how you feel about it all. Is this about your fall?"
"I know how I fell."
"Oh."
"But some of the details are still murky. I know the police are going to come back, and I'm not sure what to say."
"You don't have to say anything until you're ready."
"I'm not sure how long that will take," Logan says.
"Then take your time. This is a big deal. Talk to the person you think hurt you. Find out why. Get the full story and then make a decision. But only do what makes you comfortable."
There is a knock at the door. "Hey, how's my favourite patient doing?" It's the doc from the ICU. But he's in his street clothes.
"I'm good. Hey, it looks like they're finally letting you go home," Logan says.
"Yes, I've done enough damage for the night. But I'll be back again in a few hours. You ready to go, Noah?" The doctor says to Logan's professor.
"Yeah. Take care, Logan. If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask," Mr. Watson says getting up.
"Wait, you two know each other?" Logan is totally confused.
"Unfortunately. Jordan is my partner in crime," Mr. Watson says.
And then it comes back to Logan. "Of course! That's why you look so familiar," he says to the doctor. "The picture on the desk." In Professor Watson's office, there is a picture of him and his partner, and their adorable dog, Evan. Logan has seen it countless times and admired just how much in love they look. He's always been envious. Every time he wonders if he too will ever find someone who makes him that happy. "It really is a small world."
"It is. Take care, Logan."
And with that the two of them leave, and Logan is alone once again. But not for long. Soon a bunch of doctors arrive, his nurse, then his mother. His mom has a million questions, but Logan just says his head hurts and he is not in the mood. She tells him the police officer asked to call when he was awake, but he tells her not to. He says he still does not remember what happened. Plus, he doesn't have the energy to be quizzed; that part is at least true.
Logan is in and out for most of the morning. Around noon, his mom says she is going to go find them something decent to eat for lunch. As soon as she steps out, someone walks in.
"Hey, Logan ..."
"Zach. What are you doing here?"
He is surprised to see Zach, especially after Sunday.
"I wanted to see you, see how you were doing. I've been here all morning. But I figured your mom might not want to see me, so I waited for her to go. How are you?"
"I'm okay."
"You don't look okay."
"I'll be fine. You don't need to worry about me," Logan says.
"But I do worry."
"Well, you don't need to. To be honest, I'm surprised you had the nerve to come here."
"I know, Logan. I'm sorry. This is all my fault."
Logan is confused. "How is this your fault?"
"The fight, you going to the cliff. I'm the one who followed you there. I'm the one that pushed you. It's because of me this happened."
The push. It brings back another memory.
Logan was sitting on the ledge when he heard a noise. Someone was thrashing through the trees.
"I knew you would be here," Zach said emerging from the forest.
"It's where I always am," Logan responded.
"We're not done."
"I'm done. I'm done with your bullshit," Logan said standing up and turning towards Zach.
"I trusted you. More than anyone. And I want you to know what your actions did to my life. My parents kicked me out. They said they were ashamed of me. And to this day, I have never seen or spoken to them again. It's as if I am dead."
Hearing that pained Logan. He knew how much Zach loved his family. "I can't imagine Zach what that feels like."
"No, you can't. That's something I have to live with every day."
"But it wasn't me."
"I loved you so much. That's what makes your betrayal even harder to understand. You ruined my life."
"You want to talk about betrayal and trust? I begged you to stay. I cried my eyes out telling you I did not cheat. You didn't listen. And now this, this crap about outing you. It's just one thing after another with you. And you know what, I don't care. I don't care what you think. You don't matter to me anymore."
"You don't matter to me either!" Zach yelled.
"Good. Then go. I never want to see you again. Stay out of my life."
"I don't want to see you either. Do us all a favour, jump off this stupid cliff and end your pathetic life." Zach then pushed Logan, hitting him on the chest with both of his hands. He then turned around and walked off ...
It is all so clear to Logan now. Lying in this hospital bed, he can see it as if it just happened.
"You didn't push me off the cliff," Logan says to Zach.
"Yes, I did. And I am going to tell the police the truth. It was me."
"I didn't fall because of you."
"What?"
"I didn't fall. We fought, you pushed me, and then you left. You didn't do this."
"But I came back, and you weren't there. And then I heard sirens. If I didn't push you then who did?"
"I think you've lost the right to talk to me as if we are friends," Logan responds.
"I know. I know I have. And I owe you an apology. I know you didn't out me."
"Now you believe me, great."
"After our fight, I called my parents. They hung up on me. But I kept calling. I told them I wouldn't stop until they told me how they found out. Then I called my brother and I got it out of him."
"What did he say?" Logan asks.
"After we broke up, I guess you started to come out to people."
"I didn't need to hide it anymore ..." Logan interjects.
"Yeah. And so they found out about you through a friend in the neighbourhood. And that how depressed you were because you had this big breakup. At the same time, my younger brother mentioned how you and I no longer spoke to each other. There was speculation I was that boyfriend. So my dad searched through my phone with the help of my brother. I'm usually careful to lock it or hide things ... but I wasn't careful enough ..."
"It is my fault," Logan says feeling guilty. "If I hadn't come out ..."
"No! It's my fault. Not yours. You had every right to come out. And I doubt you did it to out me," Zach says.
"I would have stayed in the closet if I knew there was even the smallest chance it would've harmed you."
"I know ... I know that's the kind of person you are, yet for some odd reason I keep forgetting."
"I never did like your younger brother," Logan adds.
"Join the club. He's become a little bit extreme in his views ..."
"I really am sorry if I contributed to your parents finding out in any way," Logan says
"You have no need to be sorry. And it's better they know. I'm happier being out."
"Why did you think I outed you in the first place?" Logan asks.
"It was something Liam said. He said you accidentally outed someone once ... and I assumed it was me."
"Oh. No, it wasn't you. It's someone you don't know from university. I accidentally told a mutual friend who I thought already knew."
"Ah, I see ..."
Silence. Neither knows what to say next.
"So, where do we stand?" Zach asks Logan
"I don't know, Zach. This is all so ..."
"I know it's not easy," he says. "But it's us."
"What does that even mean now, Zach? You clearly don't trust me ..."
"I know I was wrong, but aren't we worth fighting for?"
"We were. I would have. But too much time has passed."
"Can we at least still be friends?" Zach asks, his voice deflated.
"Zach," Logan's mom is surprised to see him when she walks into the room.
"Ma'am," he says quickly getting up. "I was just leaving. Take care, Logan. We'll talk."
"Bye, Zach."
"What was he doing here?" she asks when Zach is gone.
"He came to see how I was doing."
"The officer said they thought he was the one who ..."
"No," Logan cuts her off. "It wasn't him."
"So you remember?"
"Not fully. But I know it wasn't Zach."
"I knew he couldn't. I knew how much he cared for you. Does this mean you're friends again?"
"I don't know. I'm a bit tired so I'm going to rest now, if that's okay. I'll eat in a bit."
Slowly throughout the day Logan gets more and more visitors. His brother, dad. Liam drops by. He is wearing the watch he lost at the cottage. Turns out, it was in his bag all along. Liam is anxious to find out what happened, but Logan tells him he still doesn't remember. He repeatedly apologizes to Liam, for being the cause of his breakup with Zach. But Liam says it is all in the past, and all that matters is that Logan gets better.
"Besides, getting dumped is part of the whole dating experience," Liam says. "Don't get me wrong, it sucks being dumped, really, really sucks, but now I can say I have experienced that too."
"I'm glad you're taking being dumped so well," Logan says with a smile.
"Well, if this becomes a pattern I may not be so happy."
"I'm sure you'll find someone much better than Zach."
"Thanks. I think so. At least now I feel like I have the courage to go out there and meet guys."
"That's really good," Logan says.
"But, man, I will miss the sex. Zach was so good in bed," Liam says.
Logan doesn't really know how to respond to that. True, Zach was amazing in bed. But he doesn't really want to talk compare sex stories with Liam at the moment.
"It's probably too early for us to be sharing Zach dating stories, isn't it?" Liam asks.
"It is," Logan says.
"Well, if you see any hot male nurses walking around let me know. You owe me!"
"That I do."
Seeing Liam smiling really lifts Logan's spirits. He was concerned Liam would be crushed, and would shrink back into his shell. Clearly his friend has grown.
Soon after Liam leaves another visitor arrives. This time it is Rhys.
"How are you doing, Logan?" Rhys asks.
"I'm doing alright."
"You look like crap."
"I can always trust you to tell it as it is," Logan says with a smile.
"That's me."
"Can I ask you something?" Logan says getting serious.
"Go for it."
"We had a fight at the cottage. But I don't remember why."
"Ah, yeah, we did. You accused me of stealing."
Then it comes back to Logan.
He was sitting on the ledge, watching the leaves sway in the wind when he heard a noise. He knew he was no longer alone. Someone was there.
"Hey, Logan, I've been looking for you," Rhys said as he came closer. "We need to talk."
"There is nothing left to talk about," Logan replied.
"You didn't even let me explain myself. I just need you to listen to me."
"What's there to explain? I want you to go."
"You know, I always thought you were different. I've met a lot of rich brats, but you never came across as one of those entitled assholes."
"That's some way to apologize," Logan said.
"I'm not apologizing. Because I am poor, you assume I need your help?"
"I never assumed anything. I just said, as a friend, I could have helped you."
"I don't need your help. I have a job. I work. Yes, I'm having trouble paying my tuition, but I will find my own way. I always have. My parents may not have been rich, but we made it work."
"That still doesn't explain why my mom's figurines were in your bag."
"Because I was fixing them. Oliver asked me not to say anything, but I feel like I don't have a choice. He knocked them over and they cracked. He was freaking out. Being poor, as you know, I didn't grow up with much. We had to reuse a lot of things. So I've gotten quite good at fixing broken objects. So I offered to help him. I was hoping to put them back before you realized they were gone. You're welcome, by the way. And thank you for reminding me of my place in this group. Now I will leave."
"Oh, shit, Rhys, I'm so sorry, I didn't know," Logan said. "Wait, please."
"You could have just asked, Logan. I am not ashamed of where I come from. But having that thrown in my face from one of my friends, that hurts."
"I know. What I said was inexcusable. And from the bottom of my heart I apologize. I really do. I've just been having a horrible day. I know that is not an excuse, but I really wasn't thinking clearly."
"No, you weren't. By the way, when you knocked over my bag, you broke a figurine. I fixed it, because, you know, that's what friends do. You'll find them on the mantle when you go back home."
"Will I find you there? I really hope you stay."
"After you made it so clear you want me to leave, I don't know man, I don't know. We'll see. I'll catch you later."
The memory makes Logan feel guilty all over again.
"Right, I did. But it turns out you were just trying to be a friend. I'm really sorry, Rhys."
"It's in the past, man, no need to worry about it."
"How can you just dismiss it so easily? I was awful. What I said was wrong. You were right, I acted like some rich brat."
"I'm not going to argue with you on that one! But in all honesty, you're not as bad as some of the rich kids I've met. We all make mistakes. And besides you falling and almost dying, that kind of put everything into perspective. Don't worry, we're good."
"Good."
"Now I have a question for you!" Rhys says with his trademark mischievous smile.
"Okay ..." Logan says nervously. He can tell from the way Rhys's eyes are lighting up that he is up to no good.
"Your penis still works, right?"
Logan can't help but laugh. "Works better than yours ever did."
"In your dreams. Man, you are lucky to be here in one way."
"How am I lucky? Look at me, I'm half broken!"
"Dude, you're missing the opportunities here. Hot male nurse. Naked sponge bath ... need I say more?"
"No, Rhys. You never need to say more. You really are a clown."
It surprises Logan that so many people come to visit, yet he doesn't hear from one person. Perhaps because of how guilty he feels? Logan isn't sure. But he finally seems him that night. The two people he most dreads seeing arrive: Jacob and Oliver.
"Logan ... oh, it's so good to see you awake," Jacob says. He looks distraught, as if he has not slept in days. Logan's mom told him that for several nights Jacob stayed in the waiting room. He refused to go home, even though he couldn't see Logan. "I'm so sorry I couldn't come earlier."
"It's okay. It's good to see you," Logan says.
"How you doing, buddy?" Oliver asks.
"Much better, thanks."
"I thought I lost you," Jacob says fighting back tears.
"You didn't lose me," Logan says. "I'm not going away that easy. I owe you an apology, Jacob."
"You don't owe me anything."
"For not telling you about Zach ... about that kiss."
"It's okay. I was angry, but almost losing you ... it doesn't matter. I don't care that you kissed Zach ..."
Logan doesn't let him finish. "Wait, I didn't kiss Zach. That's not what happened."
"Rhys said he saw ..." Jacob starts.
"Rhys is wrong. Zach kissed me. And I pushed him away."
"You did?" Jacob asks.
"Of course ... Jacob, I wouldn't do that to you."
"I'm so sorry for doubting you," Jacob says. "We can talk about all that later. Just focus on you for now. And know that I am here for you."
"Thanks. Can you do me a favour?"
"Of course!"
"I'm allowed to eat light food again and I'm really craving some noodle soup. There is a place just across the street, you know the one we've been to a few times?"
"Yeah, of course. Absolutely."
"I'll go," Oliver says, "you two talk."
"No, I'd prefer if Jacob went. He knows what I like," Logan insists.
"I'll go, don't worry," Jacob says. "You want anything, Oliver?"
"No."
"Be back in five."
"So ..." Oliver says. He is nervous. Logan can tell.
"I know it was you."
"What? What do you mean?"
"I know it was you that pushed me."
The memory came back to Logan when he saw a photo of Oliver in an orange shirt. It was the same shirt Oliver was wearing that day at the cliff. He had just fought with Zach when he heard Jacob calling his name. He was in no mood for company, so he hid behind a tree. Jacob looked around for a bit and took off. Logan thought he was in the clear and so went and sat back down again. Then he heard another noise. He didn't have enough time to react. It was Oliver. He had no idea how Oliver even found him. He probably was following Jacob.
"Hey, Logan. I've been looking for you," Oliver said getting closer.
"I've been here since morning," Logan replied. "What's up?"
"I know what you did."
"Excuse me?"
"We all know. About you and Zach. About your past. Your kiss."
"Does Jacob know?"
"Yes. Unlike you, I don't lie to him. I knew he shouldn't have trusted you."
"Oliver, I can explain. I'll talk to Jacob. Nothing is going on."
"It won't make a difference. Maybe now he'll finally realize he's so much better than you and dump your sorry ass."
"Oliver, I love Jacob, I would never do anything to hurt him. You know that."
"All I know is that you're an entitled piece of shit. You don't love him. You only love yourself."
"What's your problem?" Logan had no idea why Oliver was acting this way.
"You're my problem. You're a piece of shit, and you don't deserve Jacob."
"Where is this all coming from? I thought we were friends?"
"We're not friends. The only reason I tolerate you is because of Jacob."
"You tolerate me?" Logan was honestly shocked.
"He deserves so much better than you, he deserves to be with someone who cares for him. Not a fucking cheater."
"I didn't cheat!"
"Save your sorry excuses for someone else."
"This is pointless," Logan said trying to end the conversation. "Can you get out of my way?" Because of the cliff he was blocked from leaving.
But Oliver doesn't move. "I just want to know why you're such a fucking asshole. Then you can leave."
Now Logan was pissed. "Fuck you. I don't need your crap, get out of my way." Logan demanded again.
"No," Oliver said stepping forward. "Not until you explain yourself."
"I don't need to answer you. We're done. Move."
"No."
"I said move," Logan said taking a step forward. But Oliver is much bigger than him.
"Make me."
With all his force Logan tried to push Oliver out of his way. But he barely moved an inch. Instead, he lurched forward and pushed Logan, hard. Logan stumbled backwards, as he tried to regain his composure. But then the earth slipped from under his feet. And everything went dark ...
"I know it was you," Logan says to Oliver who is nervously hopping from one foot to the next.
"You told Rhys that you didn't remember ..."
"I just told everyone that so I didn't have to answer them. I wanted to speak to you first and ask you why. Did you mean to hurt me?"
"No!" Oliver blurts out. "Of course not, it's just you pushed me, and then instinctively I pushed you back. I tried to catch you, but I couldn't. I would never try to harm you. I went to look for help, but I couldn't find anyone. My phone battery was dead. By the time I got back to the cliff, I saw your neighbour there and he was calling for help. I didn't just leave you there. I would never do that."
"I just don't understand why you were so upset, and why you don't consider us friends?"
"Isn't it obvious ... I love him."
"You what?" How did Logan not see that coming?
"I love him. I always have. But I wasn't as lucky as you. I've known that I've loved Jacob for a long time, even before I knew I was gay. I came out to him, but he didn't say anything. I thought he was straight. A year later he tells me he is gay too. I thought it was going to be the best day of my life. I thought all of my dreams were about to come true. But they didn't. He didn't want to be with me. He didn't feel for me in that way. He liked men too, but I was just a friend. I was crushed.
"Why do you think I moved half way across the country? I can't stand not seeing him. But every time I see him with another man ... with you ... it kills me inside. I've never felt any man is good enough for him. When I found out he wanted to take the next step with you, but you hesitated, I was both relieved for myself, but furious you would do that to him. But I didn't try to harm you to get rid of you. Yes, when I found out about Zach I told him. I thought, maybe, he would finally dump you. Maybe then he would realize he is meant to be with me. But I didn't realize just how much you mean to him. These last few days ... Jacob has been a mess. There is no doubt in my mind that he is madly in love with you. I don't think he has ever loved anyone as much as you. I don't think he ever will. You make him happy. And that's all that matters."
"I know it may not be obvious by how I acted at the cottage, but I love him, too."
"I know you do. And I won't get in your way again, Logan, I promise. You don't have to worry about me messing things up with you and Jacob. What I did was wrong. I feel awful for hurting you, I hope you believe that. And because of that ... if you want ... I will walk out of Jacob's life forever and never look back. I won't hold it against you if you say yes. I deserve that."
"Of course not, Oliver. I would never ask you to do that. I know how crushed Jacob would be. He really does care for you. I can't say I like the idea of you being around and trying to sabotage our relationship ..."
"I wouldn't ..." Oliver cuts him off.
"But I trust you when you say you won't do that. I know what it is like to fall in love with your best friend. My story was a bit different. I guess you could say I was lucky he felt the same way. I can't imagine how hard it would have been had Zach rejected me back then."
"So ... what about you and Zach?"
"Zach is my past. He'll always have a place in my heart, just like Jacob will for you, I'm sure. But that's it. We had our time. Jacob is my future. Yes, I had my doubts. But seeing Zach this weekend, getting hurt ... I don't have them anymore. I know what I have with Jacob is real."
"Then never let him go."
"I won't. What does this mean for you and Rhys?" Logan asks.
"I love Rhys, I really do. He is a great guy. It will take me time to get over Jacob, but I think one day I will. I hope I haven't driven Rhys away by then."
"You won't. And I won't say anything to Rhys."
"Thank you."
"Do you really not like me?" Logan asks. He hates the thought of someone not liking him.
"Of course I like you, Logan, and I am not just saying that because of what happened. You really are a good guy. I was just jealous of you. That's why I was trying to make myself hate you. But you and Jacob are a good match. I see that now. This would have been so much easier if you were in fact a douche, but you're not."
"Sorry," Logan says with a smile.
"So," Oliver says "what are you going to say to the police ..."
Just then Logan's mom returns. The officer is with her.
"How you feeling, Logan?" his mom asks.
"Good."
"This is Detective Grant. Are you up for some questions?"
"I am."
"Do you mind, son," the officer says to Oliver while pointing to the door.
"Oh, of course," Oliver says.
"He can stay," Logan calls out.
"Okay." The officer starts off with some basic questions about that weekend. What time they arrived, what they did. He slowly leads up to the incident. "Do you remember what happened on that cliff?"
"I do," Logan says.
Oliver looks nervous. By this time Jacob is back too.
"What happened?"
"Well, I had gone there because I was upset after seeing Zach and arguing with him. I was really angry. And was pacing back and forth. I was yelling a lot, reliving that fight with myself. It helps sometime just getting it all out, you know. I was really worked up, and I wasn't paying attention to where I was going, and I slipped."
"You slipped?" The officer asks.
"Yes."
"The neighbour heard you having an argument. That's how he found you."
"That was just me, talking to myself."
"He says he saw someone running from the area. How do you explain that?"
"I can't. I don't know if anyone else was there. But as for that cliff, it was only me. No one else. It was just an accident."
"You sure, son?"
"Yes, sir. My memory is clear."
"Okay, thank you. Ma'am may I have a word with you outside?"
"Of course," Logan's mom says. "I'll be back in a bit, Logan."
"So it was all an accident?" Jacob says. "The officer grilled us all. He was convinced someone tried to harm you. I was convinced it was Zach."
"I just slipped, nothing more. Anyway, that took a lot out of me. If you don't mind guys, I'm going to sleep for a bit."
"Of course, get your rest," Jacob says.
"You can stay, Jacob, if you don't mind."
"Sure. I can stay."
"I'll see you later," Oliver says. Before he leaves he mouths `thank you'. Logan nods.
"About us, and this weekend ..." Logan starts to say. But Jacob cuts him off.
"We don't need to talk about that right now. Just focus on your recovery."
"I'm sorry, Jacob."
"You didn't do anything wrong," he says taking Logan's free arm.
"I should have told you the truth. Seeing Zach this weekend really messed with my head. And I used you. The sex on Friday, and Saturday ... it was a distraction, from him. And that's not fair to you. I said I wanted to be with you because I was angry with Zach, and that's not why I should want to move in with you. I should want to move in with you because of you, because of how amazing you are, and how lucky I am to have you. I might have slept with you for the wrong reasons, but it reinforced just how strong our connection is. Those nights were some of the best of my life. And then falling, hurting myself ... the only person I want beside me is you, no one else. I love you. I never want us to be apart again. I hope you can forgive me."
"I love you, too, Logan."
Logan wakes up in the middle of the night. Jacob is still there, fast asleep in the chair. For the first time in days, his head doesn't feel as clouded. He actually feels good. He knows he made the right decision. He knows Oliver didn't mean to push him. Logan is the one who technically started it all by pushing Oliver first. Besides, Logan wasn't guilt free. He also made mistakes that weekend. Oliver did too. Everyone deserves a second chance. Logan is getting one with Jacob. Oliver deserves one too.
As for Zach, Logan isn't sure if they can ever just be friends. He doesn't want to close the door completely, but for now, he knows he needs to focus on his recovery, and building his relationship with Jacob. Maybe one day, when Logan is stronger, physically and mentally, he can welcome Zach back into his life. But that is still a long way off.
There is a knock on the door.
"Hey, buddy, just thought I would check on you before my shift starts." It's his favourite physician, Dr. Young. "How are you doing?"
"Good. I actually feel good. I have my guy with me," he says pointing to Jacob. "My memory is back. Life is good."
"Perfect. Just what I wanted to hear. Take care, bud."
"You too."
The End.
Please do let me know what you thought!
This is my second story. My first "Noah and Jordan" tells the story of Dr. Young and Prof. Watson. It is in the college section.
Also -- special thanks to Michael for your help editing, and for your thoughts on the story!
Comments. Questions. Criticism. Email mr_e08@hotmail.com