The Farm Hand...Chap 6 crackerjack674@aol.
As he turned to look at Shawn he wiped the tears from his face with his sleave. Looking into his eyes he saw the confusion and anger. He started to speak when he was cut of by Shawn.
What the hell are you doing? Your crying man? Whats wrong with you? I mess around with you a few times,help another guy in time of need. And you set there and act like some love sick girl? I dont get this,totally dont understand it. I know whats on your mind and it will never happen. Im not like that dude. I dont wanna get into something like this. He looked up and saw the tears flowing down the boys face. His eyes red and swollen,his nose running onto his upper lip.
Jason set there. His mind confussed and lost. He wanted to speak but couldnt find the words. He hadent even said anything and Shawn some how knew what was on his mind. What his feeling were. He was in shock,here he was crying,his heart broke. He didnt know what to do. Didnt have any one to reach out to. At the time he felt as if his whole world had been destroyed. Wanting so much to feel Shawns hands wrap around him,his lips touching his. As they set and held eachother.
Shawn looked at him,his eyes wet with tears. He wanted to comfort him. Wanted to wrap his arms around him and hold him. Show him everything was ok .But he couldnt,it didnt feel right. He couldnt let his guard down. He had started this and now he had to end it. He needed to be strong. Had he been wrong? He shouldnt have played on the boys emotions. He could see the hurt and pain in the boys eyes. Messing around with other guys had never been like this. He had went to far this time. But things felt diffrent with Jason. He didnt feel like he was just getting off. He was confussed with the way he felt,the way his heart told him it was right. The others he told himself was just guys helping other guys out. When things had started he told himself the same thing. Thinking that it was all that was going to be. Messing around.
Jason mumbled something and got down from his seat and headed off across the field. Leaving Shawn on the wagon. He didnt look back,he just keep walking. Walking towards the barn his tears burning his cheeks. His mind was full of thoughts,he didnt know what to say or do. Shawn had told him he didnt want anything else. That he thought it was just two guys helping eachother out. How could he do something like this? Letting himself get attached. Couldnt he see his hurt? His pain? Walking up to the barn doors he slipped inside. Climbing up the ladder he walked over to the hay and fell into it. Burying his head under his arms to stifile out his cries.
Shawn watched as Jason made his way across the field. His own eyes filling with tears.He had to do something,he didnt know his own words would hurt himself so much. Why was he being like this? Deep down he knew what his true feelings were. Never had he felt as close and at peace with anyone like Jason. To see him cry had been like a bullet to his heart. His own feelings and thoughts had been there but his mind had made him say the wrong things.He let the world get in his way,the thoughts of other people.He wiped his eyes and jumped from the wagon and headed towards the barn.He wouldnt let anyone or anything get in between the two.
Jason herad the bard door open.He raised his head to see who it was.His eyes locked with Shawns as he stepped over to the ladder and started up.Jason buried his head again.Not wanting him to see him like this.He felt hands on his shoulders and felt himself being lifted up.His eyes looking into Shawns,seeing the pain and hurt of the other boy.Felt himself being pulled closer as Shawns arms wrapped around him.Holding him as the two boys cried.Letting their pain and love for eachother come out.jason could feel his heart beating as his head rested on his chest.A tear drop feel from Shawn and landed on his face.Running down onto his lip.Raising his hand he brushed the tears away from Shawns eyes.
The two set there holding eachother making things right.Knowing this was how it was to be.Love that no one or anything would or could seperate.There were no words to say what the two felt for eachother.
Jason wanted to look into his eyes and tell him he loved him.Tell him he never wanted to be away from him.Never before had things seemed so right.So real in his life.He felt a comfort and strength wraped around him when he felt Shawns arms around him.And he never wanted to let it go.Raising his face he put his lips to Shawns lips.