It's funny how drastic decisions can be made so suddenly, and yet feel so right. Scary situations, changes in our lives, can be something that scares us. My philosophy professor tells us that our fears reveal who we are. If that's true, then my fears led me to last night, and now I'm a bisexual woman. God, I can't believe I'm saying that! It sounds so naughty and exotic and dangerous and yet so right.
I suppose that during much of my life (I'm 20) I had wondered about it. Girls are brought up to appreciate femininity. I was no different. It was always easy to be with other girls. I loved the laughing we shared, the giggling over boys and clothes and makeup and whatever.
I remember when I was about fifteen finding a Penthouse magazine that my older brother had stashed away in his closet. I was snooping, looking for his pot bag, because my best friend Angela had seen him smoking joints and wanted us to try it as well. I didn't find his bag, but I did find the magazine.
Inside there was naked women, of course. But there was also something I hadn't expected or really studied before, a series of pictures showing two women making love. At least, that's what I call it. They were being sexual with each other. I can still recall how it took my breath away when I saw the first page, two pictures that showed two very beautiful women staring into each others eyes, and then kissing. Now, I knew what sex was at that point. Like any growing woman, I had learned about masturbation and the pleasure that I could bring myself with my finger. And I'd also had some experiences with men, but none really to write home about. I thought it was me, that I wasn't sexual or that I didn't have anything inside me that understood eroticism.
But when I saw the image of those two women, their naked breasts touching as their lips joined, the tips of tongues together, I felt myself become wet between my legs like never before. As I turned the page, and saw more pictures of these two incredibly sexy women kissing, openmouthed, and then tonguing each others nipples, I actually moaned out loud and began slipping my finger under the elastic of my panties. Right there in my brothers room! I came soon after that, I remember. What put me over the top was a picture of one of them, the incredibly sexy brunette, with her tongue between the lips of the blonde's vagina. Oh my god! Her eyes were gently closed, all her concentration obviously aimed at the pleasure she was giving.
Later on, a few days later when the house was empty except for me, I found other Penthouse magazines in his room. Most of them showed pictures of women making love, and each had the same impact on me. I just thought it was the most beautiful and sensual and liberating thing I'd ever seen. And then, to my joy, I discovered that reading the Forum section often gave me even greater feelings, since there was always letters about women together, their experiences and feelings. I know I know, they're probably made up by some man in an office, but they touched my soul in lots of ways anyways. And I masturbated to them, loving the feeling of my fingers inside myself, and even daring to taste my juices a few times, which made me tremble in my tummy because it was so sexy doing that and I loved my taste. But after I came about three times, I began to wonder if I was "dirty".
I mean, I grew up in a normal household. My parents both worked, my two older brothers fought with me and took care of me at the same time. We had a good life, not too rich but not poor either. I played soccer in school, and I loved being in the school orchestra and playing my clarinet. Sure, I had the chance to see my friends and other girls in the locker rooms after gym class, and came to really admire and appreciate how beautiful many of the other girls were. I managed to get through puberty without too many problems. I grew up to be 5'5", just under 120 lbs (when I controlled how much junk food I ate!) and without any acne problems or anything like that. My hair, naturally auburn, I kept just down past my shoulders, and because I played soccer and ran a lot, my best features are my legs and bum. I know I have a really good looking ass, and a pretty smile.
I dated during high school, of course. I went steady with Paul during both junior and senior years. He always wanted me to be his first lover, and after graduation I was ready. We made love on the beach, by the lake. I was so nervous. I guess he was too. Neither of us knew what to do, both being virgins, and there was some pain when he entered me, but we got through it. During that summer, before college, we had sex many times. It was better each time, and I began to love experimenting with him. Having read all those letters in the Forum, I knew about oral sex, and from the beginning I loved slipping his cock into my mouth. Paul's cock is quite long and thin, and secretly I wanted to be able to take all seven inches inside my throat before he left town. I never actually got to that point, but we did come close.
He went away at the end of August. I cried for days, my mother trying to console me. It didn't work. I stayed in town and began attending our local community college, working towards a sociology degree. I met all sorts of new and interesting people, and became really good friends with two women in particular. One of them, Stephanie, would change my life forever.
The next summer, after an entire year of classes and tests and getting to know people, there was a party that we were all invited to. I went, not expecting to stay long. Steph was there, as were other people that I knew. I'm always a bit shy around strangers, so I hovered around her more than I usually did. She looked incredible that night, and lots of guys were hitting on her. She's the same height as me, but we're totally different otherwise. I'm fair-complexioned, she's tanned to a lovely dark shade. Her hair flows down her back, dark and curly, and almost touches her ass. I'm a 34B, whereas she's more blessed at a 36C. She's the kind of woman who wears summer dresses with spaghetti straps that shows off her cleavage, narrowing down to her feminine hips and then to about her mid-thigh, showing off her sexy legs. The epitome of sensuality! I was wearing jeans, hugging my bum, a tank top and a man's shirt overtop that I'd "borrowed" from my dad. He wouldn't mind, since he didn't know about it and I'd have it washed and dried and ironed the next day!
One of the guys at the party got way too drunk, and decided that I should be his conquest for the night. He kept mauling me, trying to hug me and practically yelling that he should step in for Paul in his absence. What a jerk! But he wouldn't leave me alone, and it was making me feel very uncomfortable. I was actually getting ready to leave, just coming out of the bathroom, when Steph saw me and smiled. She asked me to stay. It was her house that we were partying at, her and her sister Debbie. Her parents, both dentists, were out of town, and she promised me that I'd have a good time if I stayed. The way she smiled at me, and ran her hands down my arm in a very feminine and innocent gesture, made me tingle, and though I really wanted to get home, she convinced me to stay. She said she'd fight all the boys off for me. We giggled and laughed. I didn't know she was serious.
Later on, after most of the people had left the houseparty, I decided that I'd had a little bit too much to drink, and that I shouldn't drive my Mom's car back home. A few other people were crashing at the house, sleeping on the couch or in any chair they could find. Stephanie and I talked a lot that evening, about this and that, nothing specific or sexual. But I felt so warm around her. I knew my face was flushed, and my nipples were hard. I caught her once or twice looking at my breasts, and I found myself looking at her breasts as well. I really began to admire her for her openness and how she can dress to show off her body. Some of the guys were hitting on her too, but she always managed to get rid of them quickly. By the time the party died away, I was laying in front of the fire place, a couple of other people in the room on the couch. I love watching the embers of a fire, feeling the heat on my skin.
I must have drifted off, because the next thing I knew the room was dark except for the quiet glow of the fire, and someone was gently shaking my arm. I looked up, and it was Stephanie. She whispered that I'd be more comfortable in her room, and smiled at me so sweetly that I just had to follow her. I was incredibly nervous, and wondering if I was reading anything into the situation that wasn't there. There were so many confusing thoughts going through my head. As I stood, she held out her hand in the darkness, and I took it in mine, and then she led me down the hallway and into her room.
I stood inside, admiring all the stuffed bears and toys she had on her bed and the sconces on her window, as she quietly closed the door behind us. She'd lit two candles, one on each of her bedside tables, and the room glowed with warmth. I didn't know what to do at this point, since there was only one bed, and it was possible she was just being friendly and offering me a place to sleep that wasn't a hard floor. As I turned, she moved past me, brushing my breasts with her arm, as she went to light another candle. When she rubbed my nipples, innocently (it was possible!) they hardened again instantly. I couldn't help remembering the scene from the movie "The Hunger", where Catherine Deneauve and Susan Sarandon first kiss. I'd seen that movie on late night t.v. and it made me cum without even touching myself! And now, I just imagined that I was one of those beautiful women, and wondering whether this was my time for a first kiss.
I didn't have to wait long. After lighting the candle, she moved in front of me, taking my hands in hers. I was so nervous! My breathing was very fast, and she could tell. She smiled, and squeezed my hands, moving even closer until our breasts were almost touching. "I'm so glad you stayed tonight Kath," she said. Even in my nervousness, her smile made me feel so warm and secure. I told her I was glad I stayed too. Then she asked me if I really was glad. "Of course. Why wouldn't I be?" I asked her.
Stephanie positively beamed, and then leaned forward, pulling my hands to pull me closer. She stopped with her mouth just inches from my lips, smiled even more, and then whispered "you're so beautiful" just before she kissed me.
Everything I'd ever known about passion was nothing compared to what I felt at that moment. The softest touch of her lips on mine, her hands squeezing mine, her breasts just touching mine, everything about that moment is still so fresh in my memory. It was truly the most erotic thing I'd ever experienced. More than I'd ever imagined possible! I felt like I was in heaven, standing in her bedroom. I moaned out loud, and she backed off, looking me in the eyes. "Are you okay?" she asked. I nodded up and down quickly, as my eyes welled up in tears, one running down my cheek.
A look of worry and concern came over her, and she stepped back. "No Katharine, please don't cry. I'm sorry! I just thought, you know, that you felt the same way." I could tell she was shocked at my tears, and starting to pull away. For just that moment, that one defining moment, I could have walked away, but I knew that I wasn't going to. I don't know where the strength came from, but my body took over I guess. I pulled her to me, throwing my arms around her neck, and kissed her on her lips. I moaned again at the feeling of her body next to mine, the scent of her filling my lungs. Her eyes were open, I think I shocked her a little bit. My lips touched hers again, then I took them off long enough to whisper "I want this" before kissing her again.
This time, she closed her eyes, her breath hot on my cheek, and she wrapped her arms around my waist and pulled me to her. God, we kissed so passionately. I'd never felt anything like that. Without even touching me, and while my lips were still next to hers, her tongue just beginning to gently explore my mouth, I had the most amazing and surprising orgasm! I shuddered in her arms, her hands caressing my back and slipping down to cup my bum through my jeans. She moaned this time, into my mouth, as she felt my orgasm. It stirred something in her, that much I could tell, because about thirty seconds later she was shaking in my arms and I knew she was cumming too.
We slowly moved to the bed, and fell onto it. Side-by-side, our lips still moving together, our tongues dancing back and forth, my hands running through her long silky hair. I can't describe how I felt at that point, except to say that there was nothing else in my world except this incredible woman. I didn't know what to do, and yet my body was telling me what to do. My hand caressed her shoulders, and pushed the strap of her dress down her arm. She sighed into my mouth as my fingers delicately traced the surface of her arm and shoulder, moving to her body. Oh my god! I thought, I'm about to touch another woman's breasts for the first time. Her dress fell slightly off her, and I was able to slip my hand underneath and cup her breast. It was so heavenly, feeling it's weight against my palm, and the nipple hardening into my hand. That I could bring this obvious reaction from such a lovely and sensual creature made me tingle inside, a feeling in my tummy that I'd never ever had before!
Our kissing stopped briefly, allowing us to catch our breath. We looked into each other's eyes, smiling and giggling like girls, but also seeing the lust of grown women in each other. She began unbuttoning my father's shirt as I continued to feel her breast in my hand. We sat up long enough to start undressing each other. She slipped the shirt off and reached out her hands to cup my breasts. I moaned out loud, never worrying about who might hear me, and she reached down to pull off my tube top. Suddenly, my breasts were naked and my nipples hard, her hands back on them in an instant. God, it felt so incredible to have this woman caressing my boobs. I slipped the other strap off her other shoulder, and her dress came down all the way, falling to the floor. I nearly came again! She wasn't wearing any panties, and I could smell her musky odor. Here was a lovely beautiful sexual creature in my hands, a thick forest of curly black hair around her vagina, her lips protruding and covered with drops of what had to be her juice. I was taken aback with absolute and unashamed lust for her. I even said "My god Stephanie, you're so beautiful", but I don't think she heard me.
She was busy grasping at the zipper to my jeans, trying to get it down. I giggled at her frustration, and so did she! I jumped up quickly and pulled my jeans off, and went to do the same to my panties, when she stopped me. "No Kath, let me!" she pleaded.
I stood trembling with lust as she slipped her fingers between my panties and my hips and slowly started pulling them down my legs. When the fell on the floor, I stepped out of them, which meant spreading my legs in front of her face. She actually licked her lips, which made me almost swoon. She was staring open-mouthed with desire right at me, right at my sex. Then her eyes closed, and she moved a little closer, and then she took the biggest and deepest breath she could take. Oh god, I felt myself coming again. This woman, this absolute angel of sensuality, was filling her lungs with my scent, my musk, with me. I reached down to cup her face in my hands, another tear falling from my eye, and when she opened her eyes again I told her that she was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen.
Smiling, her tongue extended out of her lips and straight onto my clit. I screamed out something, I don't remember what. Falling back onto the bed, my legs went straight out, and her tongue never lost contact with me. Her fingers went to me, two of them slipping briefly between my lips and getting coated in my juice. Then, without warning, and while her tongue went flat against my clitoris and began rubbing back and forth gently, she thrust her two fingers into my pussy as far as they would go. My hips raised off the bed, god I needed her inside me.
I screamed out "FUCK ME, OH GOD FUCK ME!" as her fingers withdrew and began their assualt again. I was cumming again, I couldn't believe I had this much sexuality in me, my tummy muscles tightening over and over. She kept sliding into me, and then out again, as her lips closed around my clit and she began humming. Another wave of pleasure swept through me, and I remember thrashing my head back and forth on her pillows as I convulsed in spasms of joy. I can't even do justice to how it felt, really.
And I remember looking down at her, her eyes closed, her mouth on my pussy, her fingers still inside me, and it looked exactly like that photograph in the magazine. Oh god. So lovely.
I may have passed out from the pleasure she gave me. Or maybe I just sailed on that incredible high that orgasms can put you on. Either way, the next thing I remember is her kissing her way up my body, stopping to pay delicious attention to my nipples, before she came to my lips again. Softly kissing me, I was able to taste myself on her, and it made me so incredibly happy and horny all over again.
We kissed this way for a long time, just holding each other. My hands learned her curves, found themselves at her breasts again, caressing them, making her nipples pebbly-hard. I leaned down a couple of times to suckle at her, but I returned again and again to her mouth. I just couldn't get enough of her kisses. They're so different than a man's kiss, with no real hardness involved. Just emotion and softness and a delicious texture. It was making my heart smile too.
While we were kissing, my fingers found their way down her tummy, and I ran then through her forest of hair. I loved the feeling, and judging by the way Steph's breathing increased I knew she was loving it too. And I went further too. I realized that just a few short hours ago if someone had told me I'd be fingering another woman that I'd call them crazy, and now all I wanted to do was touch her inside, touch her core. She was so wet and her lips were already spread apart, so my finger slipped easily inside her as my tongue slipped inside her mouth.
Steph moaned loudly into me as I felt her lips grab at my finger and her hands wrapped around me, pulling me to her again. She was shaking, I knew she was cumming. I just knew it. And something else told me that she'd have lots more in her too! I left her mouth with a little hesitancy, because I so loved just the feeling of kissing this woman. But I had to taste her, had to have her in my mouth, to make her feel such joy with my lips and tongue, to become that woman in the Penthouse photo spread.
I spent a few minutes kissing and sucking her nipples, so hard and round and delicious. Steph was running her hands through my hair, whispering how much she loved this, how much she wanted me, how sexy I was. She didn't need to say that, because I could feel it already. I knew that I was sexy at that moment, because she was so incredibly sexy and I was making her feel so good.
Nothing in my lifetime could prepare me for seeing her pussy up close. It looked like a living sculpture of a flower. Such beautiful and fragrant petals! Looking up in to her eyes, I whispered that I loved her as my tongue touched her, instantly moving to part her lips even further. My nose touched her just above her clit, which was large and swollen, and my whole mouth came down onto her pussy. Oh god, I couldn't believe I was licking her like this, so daring and erotic. I was eating pussy. And it felt like the most natural thing in the world to do. I am so happy to tell you that I made her cum three times with my tongue and mouth. I wanted to be covered in her juices, and I was by the time she gently pulled me up to kiss her again. We lay in the afterglow of our lovemaking, and then she pulled back the covers and asked me to sleep the night away with her.
We both woke up several hours later, in each others arms. My right hand was gingerly wrapped around her left breast. Neither of us said anything, yet minutes later we were in my first ever 69, tenderly licking and kissing each other again. I came first, and she followed me shortly after that. To feel that, her on top of me, her juices running down onto my face again, her body shaking and convulsing with her orgasm, the orgasm that I gave her!, was just so heavenly. It's hard to explain. Later on, we showered together, and I left to drive home. But not until we'd spent about twenty minutes in her doorway kissing and caressing again. She asked me if I would call her again.
That was an hour ago, and I just got off the phone with her. I had to stop to pick up some fresh vegetables and pasta. I called her and asked if she'd come over for dinner. I want to make her happy in every way, and that includes feeding her! I think I'm in love. I know for sure that I'm very bisexual now. I'm not ashamed to say it. I can't say when I'll be with a man again, though I don't doubt that I will. But for now, sweet Stephanie is all I crave. I feel as though I've spent my entire life watching life as if it was a television show. And now, I'm starring in the most beautiful of movies. I can't wait to see how it ends!
Katharine