THE GENTLEMEN'S CLUB Bruce
By and Copyright Lady Poetess
http://www.gentlemensclub.cjb.net
Disclaimer This story is fictitious and bears no resemblance to anyone dead or alive.
ONE
The young man sighed in frustration and pushed away the thick textbook he was trying to study. The clock indicated that it was almost two in the morning. He had a big exam in a week's time, he wasn't even halfway through his preparations for it, and he would be placed under probation should he fail this big one. He was also dreadfully homesick, lonely, and miserable.
Home was across the ocean. A hundred times a day since he came to Strathmore two weeks ago he wondered whether he had done the right thing. Being admitted to the elite, exclusive medical school that produced the best doctors in the world was an honor he could not deny when he received the scholarship a month ago. Now, he was more aware than ever that not only did he arrived very late in the term and still expected to excel (or be expelled, only they called it 'dismissal'), he was also all too aware that he couldn't fit in here.
The people are too... he didn't know how to describe it. Only that he just didn't know how to add to any conversation or even understand these people. They work too hard, they had a single-minded dedication to graduating with flying colors to the point of ostracizing those they felt a potential threat to their academic achievements, and they looked upon him, a late newcomer, with suspicion and even hostility.
Bruce would say, "Give it time." And the young man, Seth Hall, smiled to himself at the thought. True, he had just arrived. Give himself time to get settled, and he would be okay.
He missed Bruce. He had no idea how much, until he was actually away from Bruce. It was sobering that throughout their childhood and even through a brief phase in their adolescence where they tried to hate each other, they had actually rarely been apart, coming home to the same house after trying to live separate lives and keeping separate identities. Seth wasn't able to comprehend the cause of the hollow coldness he felt daily since he arrived that seemed to sap away his enthusiasm, making him listless and irritable, until these few days when he got an email from Bruce.
Right now, however, he wanted to just roll up in a circle and hide under the sheets. No, he wanted his old life back.
Someone knocked on the door. "Pizza," came a muffled voice.
"Didn't order any," Seth called. He paused. What the fuck... pizza delivery at two in the morning?
"Pepperoni pizza with extra anchovies and cheese-filled crust. Your favorite."
Impossible. Only one guy alive knew Seth's preference in pizza.
Seth threw open the door, not daring to believe it.
"No pizza, but just me," Bruce Michael Hall said, his silly, goofy grin in place as always. He opened his arms. "Hey, no hug for your little brother?"
Bruce, despite the early hours, showed no sign of fatigue. His elfin face, handsome if viewed in a certain perspective, was practically glowing with joie d'vivre and irrepressible good humor that made many consider him the no good, mischievous brother. Seth knew that face, for it was the same one that looked back at him in the mirror every morning. Unlike his identical twin brother, however, Seth was a darker, more serious version. Or so people always thought.
"How -- what are you doing here?" Seth almost yelled. Not that he wanted to disturb the other people living in the hostel -- no one was asleep in this hour, probably, mugging for the exams, but dorm rules also forbade outside visitors after ten in the evening. He tampered his voice in time.
"Hey, I decided to see what England's like, too. No fair you get to see life outside Missouri." Bruce, also the larger and beefier of the two despite being born three seconds later than Seth, roughly grabbed his brother in his arms when Seth made no move to fall into them. "You look like you don't want to see me."
"I don't expect to see you here," Seth corrected him. "I'm stunned. I mean, are you staying around here? How long? And how the hell did you get in here?"
"I told the gate guards I'm you and I passed him some cans of beer. No big deal. And I have a temporary work permit, which, if things go my way, will be extended into a yearly permit after I start work."
"Work? Where?" Seth couldn't imagine Bruce actually working. The latter spent his time back home making furniture and selling them, but that was when the mood hit him. Most of the time Bruce preferred to screw and party around.
"Well, I got several jobs on the line, but I'm pretty sure I'll be working at the furniture design mill. I did what you said, bro, I sent some of my work into the expo, and there was a bidding war on them."
"Yeah, yeah," Seth said, shrugging off Bruce's sheepish admission. He always knew Bruce had it in him. "And you'll be working here?" And he would get to see him? He was being selfish, but he was too overwhelmed by this fortunate turn of events. Bruce... here? He couldn't believe it. He wanted to believe it.
"Yeah. Why else do you think they will give a nobody like me a work permit? They think I have it in me to make big, nice, stupid chairs and table. Says I have an eye for fine wood. But I'm here for the money. And you." Bruce grinned that cocky grin that had broken down the defenses of too many sensible people who should know better. "I don't have much money right now, and I'm only renting a small room down town, but -- "
"Yeah, the last time we stayed together we almost killed each other," Seth said gently. "Oh fuck, come on in," he said when he realized they were still standing at the doorway. "My roommate won't be back until next Sunday, but don't mess up his things. He gets very grouchy about space issues."
"Oh come on, that guy will never know." Bruce jumped and all his weight landed on the bed of Seth's roommate Peter with a loud crash. "So how's life, bro? Come on, let's play catch up."
"I have to study," Seth said reluctantly. "I have a test soon and if I flunk it they will put me under probation, man. If I can pull this through, I can relax a little for the rest of the term."
"Okay. I may have walked all this way just to see you, when I could be taking some nice guy I met at the pub home, but that's okay, I'll just go home and leave you in peace -- hey!" Bruce easily caught the pillow Seth threw at him.
"Don't go," Seth couldn't help asking. "You can sleep here."
"And you, Seth, work too hard." Bruce easily reached out and pulled his brother, who protested weakly, down beside him on the bed. "Fucking hell, what will you do without me, huh?" With a mock roar, he reached out and started tickling his brother mercilessly. Oh, he knew where Seth would be most ticklish. "Huh, Seth? You need me to show you how to have fun, yeah?"
"Stop that," Seth managed to sputter, and pushed Bruce off him. He fell atop his brother, and roughly caught the other man's hands before they swooped in for another assault. "I hate you."
"Yeah?" Bruce moved slightly, allowing Seth to fall and rest on his body more comfortably. "And I think you have stopped working out," he pointed out, reaching out to rub and feel his brother's shoulders.
"Who has the time?" Seth answered, resting his chin on the hard crook of his brother's shoulder. "God, it's good to see you again, Bruce. I miss you so much." The last came out in a sob despite his best attempts to control his voice.
"Hey, love," Bruce said tenderly. "You're supposed to be the stronger one here, man. I miss you too. That's why I come all the way here. I -- fuck, do you know we are being like those fucking mushy family on Full House?"
Seth chuckled. Bruce was right -- they hadn't actually talked like this, in an introspective manner that was all about them and only them. Usually Bruce would talk about sports and guys and teasing Seth about his more reticent nature, and Seth would hit back by bossing around Bruce because both of them knew Seth was the smarter one.
"You're my smart big brother," Bruce said without any envy that one might expect. His hand reached behind Seth and started rubbing along the muscular length of the man's back soothingly. "You can't be missing me. That's my job."
"Oh shut up," Seth answered.
Bruce's hand pushed Seth's shirt up so that it now touched bare skin. Seth didn't say anything -- he just raised his hands and let Bruce tug the shirt off him. He let Bruce when Bruce's knee gently eased between Seth's legs or when Bruce's other hand rubbed at the skin dangerously close to the waistband of Seth's loose shorts. To them, this was nothing -- their bodies were so alike that they sometimes forgot where one ended and another twin began.
"Aunt Simone will take a belt to us when she sees us like this," Seth said, but he was too intoxicated by the comfort offered by Bruce's presence to be anything but sedate. "But she's not here."
"But she's not here." And they chuckled when they realized they said the same thing at the same time. Bruce gently lifted Seth off him slightly, and frowned when he saw the imprints of his shirt buttons on the man's chest and stomach. Fluidly, he pulled his own shirt off, his hasty fumbling with his buttons aided by Seth's steadier fingers. "You really have lost some muscle tone," Bruce said disapprovingly, absently massaging Seth's pectorals. "There's a gym in this fucking school, right? Use it."
"Aye, aye bro," Seth said. Outside the room, a door slammed shut. "I really have to get back to my studies," he said reluctantly, moving off his brother. "I don't want to be put under probation. My tutor told me openly that he expected me to fail."
"And you're gonna prove him wrong," Bruce finished approvingly. "Now that's my big bro. Give them hell." But he only let go of Seth's hand a heartbeat too long later. At Seth's look, he answered his brother's unasked question, "Okay, I'll just sit back and take a quick nap. Wake me up when you leave for class, okay?"
For whatever left of that morning, Seth didn't sleep. Instead, he studied, taking notes and quietly reciting what he had read to himself in an effort to blaze them in his memory. It occurred to him that he didn't feel that cold anymore. And there was no empty feeling inside or heavy weight around his shoulders. Listening to Bruce's soft snores, Seth lived the night, at peace for the first time since he left home.
TWO
Bruce Hall stepped back and admired his handiwork. Putting aside his hammer, he had to admit that he was actually pretty good at furniture carpentry. Maybe after a few more years he would even believe that he was good like Seth said he was.
He didn't care what people say about him. He only cared about Seth's opinion. That was the most important and only consideration he had in his life's decisions. He never told Seth how crushed he was when Seth got the scholarship to England, leaving him for the first time in his life without a role model to emulate. It was Seth who suggested all the things Bruce did now -- job choices, saving up for the future, and other life decisions the usually lackadaisical Bruce Hall wouldn't consider.
Bruce looked up from his ruminations to see Luke Wilson walking into the workshop. Bruce liked that man. Luke was nice, unaffected, and he was American, so at least Bruce could understand this man's accent. He also felt a kinship to Luke, mostly one-sided (on his side), because Luke had a guy studying medicine in the same college Seth was studying. Luke's man was smarter -- Alex was some sort of doctor who was actually pursuing a higher course in some medical field Bruce couldn't pronounce. Alex taught part time in the college too, and Seth might knew that guy, Bruce thought. Hence, Bruce thought Luke as a fellow buddy in a same semi-dilemma.
Luke lived with his boyfriend, however, and Bruce was determined to be like Luke -- he would get a place here to share it with Seth. They would live together. Bruce didn't care if his guardians had beaten into him during his days that he was a drunkard, oversexed useless fool and that he was probably too attached to his twin. All he learned was to suppress it inside. Seth liked him, and that was all that mattered. And Bruce would do anything for Seth. He had crossed an ocean for Seth, hadn't he?
"Howdy," Luke Wilson said, placing their lunch on the work desk. Luke was technically the supervisor of Bruce and a few other furniture workers, but like the man said affably, he had no idea how to behave like a supervisor. Everyone was like a peer to him. Yet Luke was charming -- or devious -- enough to command his underlings' attention, respect, and loyalty despite such unorthodox democracy. "If you're tired, take a few minutes off. How's your brother?"
Oh yeah, and people found it very difficult not to spill out their life story two minutes into meeting Luke. Bruce was no less immune to Luke's quiet calm that promised a listening ear. Coffee, and Luke's sympathetic hangdog face, and Bruce was soon telling his boss almost everything in his sorry life.
"He's good," Bruce said guardedly, not wanting to repeat his mistake. Some things were best left unsaid, and his ambiguous feelings for Seth, which confused even he sometimes, were best left to him and him only. "Studying like mad to be a doc, you know?"
"I know. It's almost that time of the year when the exams start. I'm lucky Alex even remembers my name." Luke took a sip of his coffee.
"Seth's like that ever since we were kids. Does all his homework and studies in advance for exams. Smartest and most hardworking guy I know. And he lets me copy him in exams." Bruce looked at Luke. "How do you handle this, anyway?"
"Handle what exactly?"
"Trying to make someone like Alex still stay focused and not overworked? And have fun. Seth has been skipping gym sessions, man. And he never misses gym unless it's big time serious." Bruce was on the roll. "But I can't blame him. By the time the paperwork was done, Seth was already two months behind when he enrolled. He has to work harder to keep up."
"I wouldn't worry too much," Luke cut in. "People like Alex and your brother, they have been doing this for so long. Hell, Alex studies all the time. They'll do fine. All you have to do is to help him stay on track, you know what I mean? When he wants some, praise him, even if you have to lie. Let him be irrational a bit -- it's the exam season and he needs to let off steam somehow. And stay out of his way when he's mad."
"Sounds like you're setting yourself up to be bullied," Bruce commented wryly.
"I don't know how it is between siblings, but between me and Alex, that guy is crazy about me." Luke winked, thus crushing his rare arrogant statement. "He knows I'm probably the only guy who can stand his bullshit. Sometimes he even asks me to stay in the same room as he is in when he is studying. Seems I give him a calming presence."
Bruce grinned. "I know what you mean."
Luke's look was one of puzzlement. "We were talking about your brother, right?"
"Yeah. Why do you ask?"
Luke hesitated, then shrugged. "Nothing." He looked up at the clock at the wall and chuckled. "Take it easy with the doughnuts, Bruce. It's just five minutes more until lunch break."
Dr Alexis Denisof looked up at the young man walking into his study. He sighed and put aside the book he was reading. He was an oddity of sorts: he was a student in Sheffield but he also lectured here, at nearby Strathmore College of Medicine to make some money to supplement his living. Sure, people had said that he was too smart (and smug) for his own good, and Alex inadvertently made sure everyone knew it despite his best intentions. He wasn't a popular, likeable man, but he was a brilliant teacher and student.
Hence, this man walking in. Alex racked his memory -- ah yes, Seth Hall, who started late in the term and was struggling way behind. Alex wasn't fond of the militant environment of Strathmore that made its students' life a veritable pressure cooker: in fact, he despised it. It was only because the money was good.
"Seth," Alex said, standing up to greet the man. "How can I help you?"
"I'm going to fail," Seth said simply.
Seth attended Alex's basic biochemistry course. Alex didn't find Seth exceptional. Brilliant, yes, but everyone was brilliant in Strathmore. Hence just mere brilliance was one step ahead of mediocrity. Only in Strathmore. "What do you expect me to do?" Alex asked bluntly. "You have access to one of the best medical libraries in the world. If you need time, you can make time. What do you want from me?"
Seth hesitated. "I am not sure how things are run, Dr Denisof. I don't know the exact format of this exam, I have no idea how much I should learn."
"I don't spoon feed examination tips to students," Alex said.
"I'm not asking you to. I am -- " Seth hesitated once more. "I'm really lost, Dr Denisof. There are four more days to the exam, I have read the recommended texts from cover to every fucking cover -- sorry, and still I can't keep it in." Seth tapped at his left temple. "I need advice. On how to survive in this place."
Alex studied the other man silently. They were only probably ten years apart in terms of age, Alex being some sort of prodigy in his younger days. It was his first instinct to refer Seth to the local counselor, but he hesitated. Maybe it was the softening influence of his partner Luke, but he nowadays thought twice and tried a little harder to be patient with people and lent a helping hand where he could. "The students here are bastards, aren't they?" Alex commented wryly.
Seth looked stunned, but he recovered quickly. "Yeah," he said. "They wouldn't help me at all."
"Okay. Here's what I do when I am stuck in my studies and the exam is coming too fast for me to handle," Alex started to say.
"And that's what he said," Seth told his brother Bruce later that night. "Can you believe it? He first told me I would fail days earlier, and now he is helping me."
Bruce leaned forward and rested his chin on Seth's shoulder as he watched the latter doodled what seemed like a kidney on a sheet of paper. He let his hand hang down Seth's chest to rest on the other man's thigh. "Bet he can't resist your charms, bro," Bruce said to Seth's derisive snort. "Anyway, small world. I work under your doc's boyfriend. Luke, that's his name. Nice guy, looks sad most of the time, but he's good for listening if you need that sort of thing. Want me to get us both invited to Luke's place for dinner?"
"No way. I'd like to keep my school life in school -- period," Seth told Bruce, absently tilting his neck as Bruce's fingers teasingly toyed with the skin of his nape. "Bruce, you really shouldn't touch me like this," he said.
"Like this? Why not?" Bruce asked. "We're brothers, right? It's not like I am trying to get into your pants."
"Oh yeah, I bet that's what you told those poor boys that ended up being nailed by you," Seth said. "Say," he remarked, turning to look at Bruce. "Is that a love bite on the side of your neck?"
"No way," Bruce said, reaching up to touch the area regardless.
Fucking bastard, Seth thought, of course that was a love bite. "I don't believe me. You just got here and you're getting laid already."
"Just someone I met at the pub," Bruce said. "Nothing serious, bro. It's not even memorable. Quick wham bang -- " Bruce made an obscene gesture with his hands -- "and that's it. I'm pretty sure he's a married man, since I remember seeing a ring on his finger."
"This is a small town. Don't get into trouble sleeping around, okay?"
"How about you?" Bruce asked. "You getting any?"
"Nope. Don't have the time."
Bruce made a sound of disgust. "Come on, Seth, we always have time for sex. You may be a hardworking freak, but I know you always get some back then. Even if it's in the form of boring relationships."
"I like boring," Seth told him. "I'm looking. There's this guy in my class who is showing signs that he may be okay with me asking him out."
"That's more like it," Bruce said. He lay back on Seth's bed and made himself comfortable. "You done studying?"
"An hour ago, since you came in like that." Bruce actually sneaked in, climbing the fencing in the dark. That was so typically Bruce. "So I guess that's why you didn't show up last night."
"Yeah. I hope you don't expect me to show up every night," Bruce started to say, when he saw Seth's expression. Shit. "Okay," he amended. "I'll come every night if that's what you want. But what's in it for me?"
"My company?"
Bruce snapped his fingers. "Come here."
"What?"
"I said come here."
Seth sighed as he fell onto the bed beside Bruce. This was becoming a ritual every time they met in his room. Bruce's arms went around Seth's waist and the man made a playful laugh/growl as he snuggled up to Seth. This was just like when they were kids, before their parents died. This time, their nightly meeting had a secret, illicit rendezvous thrill to make it even more exciting to Seth. He never knew how much he missed his brother until these last few days, and he still felt this hollow ache in his chest whenever he saw Bruce slip out the window right before dawn. Was it possible to want someone's comforting presence this badly? Would that make him weak? In Bruce's muscular embrace, Seth didn't care -- he was at peace. Tranquil and calm.
"Sometimes I wish I can find someone who is just like you," Bruce murmured. "Smart and sensible. There's no one like you."
"Hmm," Seth murmured, not really listening. Weary from his reading, his eyes were starting to ease into sleep.
He felt Bruce pull his shirt up, and as was always, he lifted his hands and let Bruce remove his shirt. The heat of the hard wall of Bruce's muscular chest against his bare back made his senses flare to life, which was always a hormonal reaction followed by hard denial and suppression of those feelings he knew were forbidden. Bruce never had such reservation, and he was always the one who was freer with his hands, hands that even now slowly slipped down Seth's shorts.
"What are you doing?" Seth asked, his voice husky from fatigue.
"I miss you so much, Seth. It was pure hell those weeks without you, bro, it's -- it's -- fuck!" Bruce smothered his sob by burying his face in Seth's shoulder even as his hands now cupped Seth's butt cheeks. "God, I miss you so much. I love you so much, Seth, I just never knew -- and I wish -- "
"Sssh," Seth shushed his brother softly. "It's okay. I'm here now." He shuddered and bit back a cry when he felt a thick digit -- Bruce's thumb -- penetrating the warm, yearning moist groove between his thighs. This was wrong, this was -- what he was seeking for all his life, this sense of safety, completion, and yes, loved.
"You've been without, Seth. Let me fuck you. Let me please you, brother," Bruce said shakily as he lifted his body to look at Seth's face. "I can satisfy you. Just let me. Please."
No. Seth should say no. Yet, the stroking of Bruce's thumb, slowly penetrating the muscular ridges of Seth's anal ring to rub and massage the smooth walls of the clenching anus, that sent chills of arousal and excitement as well as a sense of calming peace in Seth. And Seth's instinct was to part his legs wide to allow Bruce more access.
He wanted to say no, but his lips parted only to meet Bruce's. At the sensation of Bruce's lips grazing his shyly, all sense of right or wrong deserted Seth. This was Bruce, his brother, his soul -- this was Bruce, who knew him like no one else in this world. His tongue soon rubbed and slid in maddening abrasion against Bruce's. Bruce's other free hand now pinned Seth down the bed even as the man now moved over Seth, his thumb reluctantly pulling out of Seth's now gaping anal grip. Seth whimpered, wanting completion, and he found it when Bruce replaced his thumb with the broad, fast moistening tip of his cock. He groaned, lifting his hips, demanding surcease, but Bruce only deepened his kiss as he slowly, tantalizingly penetrated Seth... but only with his cock crown and no more.
"Bruce, please..." Seth had been without for too long, he couldn't control himself. He needed that thick cock, every inch of its glorious, pulsing length, embedded deep up his ass, filling him.
"Relax, bro -- I'm here. You'll get it, just take it easy and enjoy," Bruce said.
And damn that man. He had been teasing Seth since they could talk, and he teased Seth mercilessly now. Grasping his cock in one hand, Bruce teased Seth's pulsing pucker with his coat, slowly rubbing the smooth tip along the circular ridge, spreading his lubricating droplets around the burning flesh until Seth wanted to scream. Even when Bruce penetrated him, it was only with the half of his cock head submerged, his hand deftly manipulating his shaft so that the cock head stretched Seth's anus wide, teasing it with promise of deeper penetration that never came.
Even as he toyed with Seth that way, Bruce kept Seth at the brink by simultaneously kissing and gently biting his neck, shoulders, before suckling and teasing Seth's nipples one by one. It was evident now that while Seth was older, Bruce knew more sex tricks, damn that man. Seth's fingers clawed into Bruce's shoulders, urging him to take him. Bruce's only response was to plunge only a fraction deeper, his pre-ejaculate now copiously moistening both his own cock crown and the skin between Seth's inner thighs with each stroke of play of that cock. Only when Seth ruthlessly plunged his fingers up Bruce's own anus, all four fingers, two from each hand, did Bruce let out a yelp and instinctively thrust his hips forth, tearing Seth open so that the anguished cry of pleasure of the latter muffled Bruce's pained moan in a bruising kiss.
There was a brief heartbeat when they both paused, as if at that moment, they were finally aware that they had committed the ultimate taboo. But Bruce's cock, stretching his brother's convulsing anus, drove the man on, and Bruce pumped his hips, driving his cock savagely up his brother's anus in short, stabbing thrusts. Seth bit down his moans and cries, arching his back as he lifted and wrapped his hips around Bruce's waist. Both of them were lost in their savage fuck, thrusting and reaching out, until in that one unbearably pleasurable moment of completion, Bruce harshly cried out a loud roar and his hips buckled, thrusting one last, tearing time up Seth so deep that the latter's hips arched off the bed. Bruce's arms tightened around Seth's, his eyes staring into Seth's equally deep blue eyes, almost green with the pleasure he was experiencing, until Seth closed them in his own private orgasm. Bruce buried his head in Seth's shoulder, his hips still coring into his brother's body, until he too came in a searing climax, his semen scorching his twin's insides.
"I love you, Seth," Bruce whispered harshly as he fell heavily onto Seth. As he luxuriated in his sweat-soaked body's slippery caressing of the man under him, he kept whispering that. He loved Seth. He meant it. And he would give anything he had for another encore of fucking Seth.
THREE
Seth didn't dare face the next time he would meet Bruce. That night, he tried to study, but couldn't. Consigning the night as a loss, he paced his room, terrified that Bruce would show up, craving for him to. Bruce had left before Seth woke up, but the traces of their fuck were unmistakable on Seth's body and on his bed sheets. Seth could barely untangle the confused cacophony in his head.
Fucking Bruce was heaven. There was no other way to describe it. Seth had never felt so filled, so light-headed, and he had never felt so much felicity before. It was so right, even if his head told him they had committed a heinous transgression. Hadn't they? He could still feel every imprint of Bruce's hands and lips all over his body, in every expanse of skin left bare to his twin. From his forehead to the intimate crevices between his thighs, he burned still. While attempting to study earlier, he instead found his own hand reaching between his legs, trying to soothe the raging fever between his thighs that still even now cried for Bruce's cock.
Last night, they had somehow crossed a line in their admittedly tenuously platonic relationship. Seth admitted that he and Bruce had played fast and loose with each other's body with loose touches that strayed to dangerously intimate areas, but they had never crossed that line -- until last night. It was easier than they'd expected, when both were particularly vulnerable in their loneliness and missing each other. Somehow the need for completion had resulted in literal completion of each other.
Sure enough, Bruce appeared at his window at around ten in the evening. And Bruce didn't waste time, reaching out to steal a kiss from Seth, emboldened by last night. Seth turned away, pretending not to see his twin's look of bewilderment, however.
"Last night shouldn't happen," Seth said shakily. The sight of Bruce now, wearing loose tee shirt and shorts, was an instant turn-on. Seth's mind supplied what was hidden from his view -- the tightly muscled body and the powerful thighs, the latter felt so good between Seth's own thighs. "It's a mistake."
"No," Bruce protested. "Come on, Seth. It's not like we're brothers and sisters. We can't make lil' fuckers and we don't hurt anyone. And I love you, man. You love me, I know. What's wrong with what we did?"
"You make it sound so easy," Seth said somewhat bitterly, sitting down.
Bruce got down on one knee and looked up at his brother pleadingly. "It is. Fuck what people say, Seth. We can do this in secret. You and me, together forever."
"You wanted this all along," Seth asked, stunned at his sudden insight. "You always wanted this."
Bruce didn't blink. "Yeah. Can you blame me? There's no one like you, Seth. Every man I meet, date, fuck -- they all come wanting. You're smart, you're practical, and you are perfect." Bruce said it as if he believed it sincerely, it pole- axed Seth. Bruce continued, "I don't care what our aunt and uncle say, or what anyone say. Please don't tell me you are ashamed of me."
"No, Bruce. But what we did -- it's so wrong. It's incest." There, the ugly word was out.
"So?" Bruce asked blankly.
And Seth had to laugh. "You don't care, do you? No, don't answer. You never did care what people say, and I envy you. But I care, Bruce. I need time to think about this."
"And if you think, you'll say no," Bruce stated bitterly. "While me, the brainless one, will stoop this low for my happiness. You must think me an idiot. A sick, twisted idiot."
"No," Seth said, genuinely caught off-guard by Bruce's depreciating bitterness. "I never think that. I just thought what we did last night was because of weakness of both our parts, Bruce. I was so stressed out and lonely and you -- you are lonely too, I guess. We are still suffering from being separated for so long."
"And we are always too close for our own good," Bruce finished, his voice hard. "Yeah, that's what everyone says to us. And you believe them. It's okay, Seth. I know -- I'm the moron here. I actually think nothing of sleeping with my own brother. I don't even have regrets. I ran all the way here because I wanted to fuck you again." Bruce flinched when Seth tried to touch his hand. "God, what must you think of me?" he asked, his voice slightly rising in his hysterical fear and self- loathing. "I'm so sorry, Seth. I'm so fucking sorry. But I'm an idiot. You always know that, right?"
"No," Seth said quietly. "I never think that."
Bruce couldn't see, and he angrily wiped his tears with the back of his hand. "Fine, we won't do this. I won't even bother you again. Here," he said, flinging the handwritten note to the table. "This is my new phone number. Call me, okay, when you think you can stand talking to me."
"Bruce," Seth started to say.
But Bruce only gave a wounded whimper and scrambled to climb out the window. "Bruce!" Seth called, leaning out the window, but Bruce didn't care to listen. The man just kept running down the street, until Seth couldn't see him anymore because of the dark, because of his own tears in his eyes.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Luke asked, switching on the lights.
Bruce closed his eyes against the sudden blinding brightness. "Nothing," he said defiantly.
Luke hesitated. He was probably on his way home when he heard Bruce sulking in the dark of the workshop. "You want to talk about it?"
"No." Tempting, but no cigar. Luke, a nice guy, would probably throw up and throw Bruce out of the mill if he knew. Seth was disgusted enough, wasn't he? "No," he said again, fighting the weakening of his control, as people were wont to do when faced with Luke's silent, actually intimidating air of seeming infallibility.
Luke pulled up a chair and sat down, facing Bruce. "Now, tell me about it," he said softly in that gentle Texan-accented voice.
Bruce told.
Luke didn't blink. Bruce fidgeted when he finished, and finally asked, "Well, aren't you disgusted?"
"No," Luke answered. "It's not my place to judge people, there's someone upstairs," Luke rolled his eyes upwards in an exaggerated, even mocking, gesture, "who gets paid to judge you."
"Man, you are weird," Bruce said, shaking his head.
"I know. I have an unorthodox upbringing," Luke answered easily. "I don't mean to say that I approve, I just say that it is your life and Seth's, and its not my place to say that your behavior is reprehensible. Am I making sense here?"
"Somewhat."
"Okay, I see that you want advice. Fine. Here's what I say: lay off your brother, let it cool a little. Try to find someone to make you happy. Go back to Seth only as a last resort. That's what I'm suggesting." Luke stood up. "Maybe you want to join me and Alex for dinner?"
"No," Bruce said. "But thanks, Luke. Thank you, really."
"No problem." Luke shut the lights and closed the door behind him, leaving Bruce to his own darkness.
"How did you do in the exam?"
Seth placed his forehead against the wall. "I'll pass," he said.
"Good. I know you can do it."
The way Bruce said it, always confident in Seth's ability, always threatened to break Seth into pieces. "How are you?" Seth asked, his voice barely steady. A week -- an eternity -- of not seeing and listening to Bruce; it was pure hell. "I hear you are seeing someone," he tried to tease.
"Yeah," Bruce said simply.
Seth's hand tightened around the phone. "Good," he said.
"He's a nice guy. Smart, funny, and..."
"Great in bed?"
"Haven't gone that far yet."
"You? I'm surprised," Seth said, hating the way relief swamped his insides at Bruce's confession. He didn't like the thought of Bruce doing to someone what he did to Seth, despite everything. Doomed, staked at the cross, and without hope of salvation -- that was what he was.
"It's hard to sleep with someone after you have slept with your own brother, you know what I mean?"
"Jesus, Bruce, do you have to say it out loud?"
"Nobody's around me," Bruce said. "And I mean it. How can I fuck someone after fucking you, Seth? It's like settling for some second rate shit after a taste of heaven. You want me to let you know when I fuck him?"
"I just want my baby brother back," Seth confessed. "I miss you."
"Yeah, me too. So, you fucking that nerd in your class yet?"
"No. I don't feel like going out with him anymore." Seth closed his eyes. "You want me to let you know when I fuck him?"
"I'd rather not."
"I miss you. I want to see you," Seth said. "Please, Bruce?"
Bruce answered a few seconds later, his voice strangely hoarse. "Okay, Seth. Just name the place and time."
"Oh fuck, fucking holy mother of Christ!" Bruce gasped, his grip bruising Seth's thighs as he drove him one last hard thrust that caused his hipbone to smash against Seth's pelvic girdle in a loud wet slap of sweaty flesh.
Seth's fingers clawed into Bruce's buttocks, causing Bruce to arch his back to drive his cock even up deeper up Seth as he came hard and fast. Bruce pushed deeper, relishing the wet smooth slide of his still hard cock up the semen-flooded anus of his brother, until a soft cry from Seth told him that he had hit Seth's magic spot. Bingo. Grinning to himself, he resumed his fuck thrusts.
"No more," Seth pleaded an hour later, scrambling away from Bruce who lay on the bed, sated and pleased with himself. Seth deftly evaded Bruce's lazily grasping hand. "I'm sore. One more come and I think my heart will give way."
"Where are you going?" Bruce asked indolently, only lifting his neck to see his brother.
"To the toilet."
Bruce swung his shapely hips off the bed. "I'm coming with you."
"I have to take a piss."
"So? Let me watch. You wanna piss on me?"
Seth gave Bruce an incredulous look, to which Bruce's response was a shrug. "Suit yourself, Seth. But I want to watch you piss."
His brother looked intrigued, despite himself. "You want me to piss on you?"
"If you want. And maybe you can let me suck out all those juices from your ass afterwards." Bruce reached down to cup and pinch Seth's naked butt cheek. A trickle of fluid seeped down the inside of Bruce's left thigh. "And then we can take a shower together after."
Seth let Bruce push him into the shower.
"So I take it we're, you know..." Bruce made a banging gesture with his hands. "Friends?"
Seth looked at his brother beside him. They had changed Seth's soaked bed sheet and now cuddled up together, naked with only the blanket covering them from the cold outside. Bruce's body heat was more than enough to warm Seth anyway. "Yeah," Seth said. "I've been thinking."
"Ah," Bruce teased.
"Shut up, Bruce. Anyway, it hurts to be away from you. It hurts so much." Seth let Bruce tighten his arms around him comfortingly. "I don't think our too strong bond is normal. I know we shouldn't do this."
"Too late," Bruce murmured. "Four times too late."
"Yeah." Seth looked at Bruce's steady, confident eyes and wondered how his brother could want this incestuous love affair between them so unwaveringly that Bruce didn't seem to consider that what they were doing was taboo. Or maybe, knowing Bruce, he liked this because it was taboo as much as he needed Seth to complete him. "I tried, but I couldn't fight it. I want this -- it's the only way I feel..."
"Whole, complete, and happy," Bruce finished for him, his hand now playing with Seth's hair fondly. "I know, big brother."
Seth buried his head in Bruce's shoulder and smelled the man's hair -- of sweat, male virility, and Bruce, all Bruce, always Bruce. It had been Bruce all along, Seth realized. His own soul mate in this relationship that in all probability would be damned. Yet, even if there was a way to fight this and sever his emotional bond with Bruce, Seth couldn't do it. And there was no other way in his estimation. He was damned, and he was a happy, damned man.
"Nobody has to know," Bruce whispered. "Just you and me."
"Yeah," Seth agreed.
Bruce pulled the blanket higher and sighed as he felt Seth move to rest more comfortably on him.
"Bruce?"
"Hmm?" Bruce murmured, looking at his brother. This was perfect. His heart was beating so thunderously in his ribcage in its rare moment of pure, unadulterated rapture.
"Tell me how you sneaked into my room. I have to get back in before everyone awakes," Seth said sleepily.
Bruce laughed. Let them be damned then. This was right. It had to be. He wondered what their late parents would think of their kids screwing each other, and then shrugged. "I love you, Seth," he said unnecessarily. And for good measure, one more time: "I love you."
And then he told Seth how he sneaked into the dorm room.