The Girls Only Club

The Girls-Only Club by Pamela

(c) 1997 "peter bernard" pamelapamela@hotmail.com.

1. Chapter

Blake awoke the next morning, after just a few hours of sleep, feeling miserable. Besides his physical exhaustion including numbness in his jaw, he remembered vividly the degradation of the previous night. Joyce, Carrie and Angie had done with him anything they wanted and he knew he had been powerless to stop them. He wondered how he could face Joyce that day in school. She must have nothing but contempt for him. After all, he couldn't stop the girls from peeing on him and was afraid even to protest. He wanted desperately to cry and tell somebody about what had happened. He wanted to be comforted and loved.

He stepped up into the attic and went to his collection of bras and underwear. ``I can't let last night discourage me," he thought. It occurred to him that he hadn't yet worn a girdle to school, and on impulse he decided to do that. It would be a sort of statement to the universe that he wasn't going to back down from being a girl. He selected one of his favorite white girdles, a pair of stockings, some panties and a bra and went back to his room to put them on.

When he was all dressed he looked at himself in the door mirror and started to feel a bit better. Suddenly he heard a knock on the door and before he could move, it opened and Janice came in.

``Oh, thank God it was you," Blake said with relief.

Shocked, Janice said, ``My God, Blake, why are you dressed like that now? Don't tell me you go to school like that."

``I'm sorry, Janice, but I can't help myself."

``A girdle and stockings? Underneath your jeans all day long? My, but that must be terribly uncomfortable?"

``I like wearing girdles, Janice, just like mom does!"

``Yes, but she wears them under a dress, so she can still move around in them. With the jeans on, you'll be so packed in, it will be very uncomfortable."

``I don't care, Janice, its just something I really need to do today."

``Why?"

Blake was so anxious to share his feelings that he decided to tell Janice everything about the previous night. Everything, except being peed on. When he was done she sat down on his bed speechless and then started to cry. She indicated for Blake to come close to her and they sat there for a few minutes hugging each other.

Oh, my poor baby sister," Janice said, I wish I could have protected you. I can't believe it, four football players. You're so lucky they didn't get violent and seriously hurt you. And that boy Dave's penis sounds so unbelievable. What if he had wanted to rape your bottom with it in place of John? Blake, this whole business is getting out of control. I feel just so anxious about it. Can't you just go back to being a boy for awhile?"

``No Janice, being a girl is the only thing which keeps me going right now. As a girl, I have so many wonderful friends and I feel I belong with them."

Janice looked at him for a few minutes. She had to admit to herself that he looked natural in a bra. In fact, he looked as if he had been wearing them his whole life. And the girdle fit perfectly and the way he moved in his stockings looked right to her. He didn't really belong in boys clothes, she could see this clearly. ``OK, honey, I'm sorry for suggesting it. I guess you are right. Anyway, you shouldn't spend any extra time dressed like that, cause mom or dad could come in any second. Go put on your clothes and I'll join you in a bit for breakfast."

When Blake entered the dining room, his mom was just about done with her breakfast. She greeted him saying, ``honey, you look very tired, even haggard. Are you having trouble sleeping?"

``No mom. I mean, I guess I had some insomnia last night." Blake was exhausted, and he was scared to see that it showed so obviously.

``Is everything OK with you? Do you have some problem you need to talk over with me?"

``Oh no mom. I'm OK, really. Just a lot of tossing and turning." And then in an attempt to be light hearted he sang the beginning of the famous insomniac song from Iolanthe:

``When you're lying awake with a dismal headache, ...

His mom looked at him with concern. Blake looked away from her stare and felt scared again. He wanted to confess to her that he was becoming a girl; that he wanted so desperately to be her daughter. He imagined that they could have a good cry over it and once they got past it they could hug each other and begin a whole new relationship. In his fantasy, she would plot with him to break the news as gently as possible to his dad. But the reality of saying it to his mom was too hard, and he knew he couldn't ever do it.

Ahead of him was having to go to school and confront Joyce. He had no idea what she would do or say today. The other girls in the club would surely want to find out what had happened, and he knew he couldn't lie to them. So then they would all be very angry with Joyce and maybe even himself for letting her do it to him. It was all so confusing. When was he ever going to become the girl he wanted to be? A world of pretty dresses and make up and being a mommy. God would he love to be a mommy. He wanted to have a baby. He had never thought about it before, but it was true. He glanced up at his mom and realized that what he wanted more than anything else in the world was to be like her. He thought to himself, ``we're probably both wearing girdles now," and it made him feel very close to her. He got up and walked over to her and gave her a hug. She was surprised, but quickly hugged him back. He could feel her fingers go over his bra strap through his shirt and half wished that she would find it and settle the whole business. But she wasn't expecting to find it and didn't notice it.

``I'm really OK mom, don't worry," he smiled at her.

She smiled back and said, ``thank you for doing that, Blake. You are my most precious child."

He sat down and ate his breakfast, while his mom got up to get ready for her day. He thought about having a baby and realized that it probably meant he would have to find a woman to love one day. One who would let him be the mommy of their child. How could he ever find such a woman? He vowed that he would ask the girls in his club about it. His reverie was broken by Anne sitting down at the table across from him. ``God, Blake, you look like hell. Keeping late hours?" she said snidely.

She reached across the table and put her hand over Blake's breast to see if he was wearing a bra. He tried to move away but she was able to catch hold of one of the straps and pull it back and let it snap. It was painful and the sound was loud causing Blake to worry that someone could hear it. ``Lift up your shirt and let me see."

Blake knew better than to fight her and raised his shirt revealing his Playtex bra. ``Blake your such a fairy. Do you like the little pink ribbon on your bra?"

``Yes, Anne, you know I do."

``Don't be insolent."

``I'm sorry."

``I'm going to give you a bra for next Christmas. Then you'll have to open up the package in front of everyone."

``Anne!"

``I will Blake. Just you wait and see."

Blake got up and said, ``may I be excused, Anne, I have to get ready for school."

She looked him over for a second and then waved him away. He then hurriedly left the room before she changed her mind.

As luck would have it, the first person Blake saw when he arrived at school was Joyce. She motioned for him to come over to her. Smiling, she said, ``Blake, I mean Pamela, I liked you eating my pussy. It was real good."

``You're not mad at me?"

``For what?"

``For what Dave said?"

``Oh, who cares about that asshole. I can fuck any guy I want. Who needs him. But I think he really has a thing for you. And that bullshit about your period won't last forever. He's gonna want to fuck you silly one day, and when he finds you ain't got a pussy, all hell will break loose."

Thinking back to Dave's huge cock, Blake shivered at the thought of him screwing a girl, any girl. ``Did he fit, you know, his big thing inside you?"

``He sure did! It was incredible. I never felt a screw like that one. I think it just about reached my throat!"

Blake laughed along with Joyce. In spite of what he might want or wish, he could see that they had become girl friends in a sense. The night before was just a rite of passage, an initiation, and now they could be girls together. He felt like she really did see him as her girl friend.

``Well Joyce, I'll have to tell him I'm not interested."

``Dave doesn't take no for an answer. I'll tell you one thing, he has a bright red Mustang, and he cruises around in it on the weekends. Just make sure that if you are dressed as Pamela, he doesn't see you."

I will." They stood together watching the other kids arrive. Then Joyce said, Pamela, I really want you to eat my pussy again some time. It felt real good."

``OK Joyce. I guess I can do it." Blake had no idea when or where.

``I'll let you know when. Maybe in the girls bathroom during sixth period. I hate French class."

Blake was shocked. He would have to get a pass to leave class at the same time as her and rendezvous in the girls bathroom. It was very risky if the teachers caught him. ``But Joyce, it would be so rushed and dangerous."

``Don't worry, I cum real fast, and we'll be in a locked stall. No one can see you. I'll slip you a note at the beginning of the class."

With that Joyce winked and walked away. Blake felt relieved that Joyce now saw him as a friend and wouldn't give away his secret, but he was terrified about what she had planned for him later that day. And what if she insisted he do it all the time? Things were still not turning out like he hoped they would.

At lunch time, the boys grabbed on to Blake before he could get away with the girls. They were very anxious to find out what was going on between him and the eighth grade girls.

``C'mon Blake, my buddy, you got to tell us your secret. Yesterday all the fucking girls were flocked around you. I mean not even just Karen and Amy but all the fucking girls. What the hell do you do for them?" Clifford said excitedly.

``Like I told you before, its just that they like me cause I talk to them with respect."

``Bullshit, Blake, its got to be more than that. You look like you spent last night fucking everyone of them. Is that it? You have some sort of incredible prick?"

Roy said, ``yeah Blake, I bet you got a magic wand for a prick that gets all the girls hot."

One of the other boys said, ``make him show us his rod."

Quick as lightening, Roy grabbed Blake's wrists and put them behind his back. Several of the boys started to go after his belt buckle to open it. Blake kicked and thrashed around trying to stop them. He was frantic that they would find his girdle and stockings. In desperation he called out for help. This made Roy and Clifford angrier and they redoubled their efforts to pin him down so they could inspect his cock.

Just when it seemed they had him, Clifford yelled out in pain and let go. Looking up, Blake saw that Joyce had grabbed him by the hair and was pulling him back. In another second, Amy, Karen and Penny showed up pushing the other boys away from Blake. Once freed he jumped up from the ground and dusted himself off. It was a miracle that the girls rescued him at just that instant for it was certain that his girdle would have been exposed to everyone in just a matter of seconds. Still shaking, Blake allowed the girls to lead him off away from the boys over to their usual spot. He could hear much shouting and arguing as a large group of girls formed to tell the boys to leave Blake alone.

At the bench, he sat down and caught his breath as Joyce and the club members made sure he was OK.

Blake said, ``I can't thank you all enough. Especially you Joyce, you saved my life."

``Hey Pamela, it was the least I could do for my special friend."

The other girls were happy to see that Joyce had accepted Blake as her friend. In particular, they noticed that she had called him Pamela.

After a few minutes, Joyce excused herself saying to Blake, ``I'll see you later."

When she was gone, Amy asked him, ``what did she mean by that Pam? It's so neat that you have made a new friend. So it looks like everything went OK last night. We were all really worried about you."

Blake didn't know where to begin in letting the girls know about what was really going on between him and Joyce. ``Oh Amy, it was terrible last night! And I'm sure you're all going to hate me when I tell you what happened. And I guess Joyce is my friend, sort of, but I really think I have become her playmate more than anything. She only wants to be my friend cause she wants me to meet her in the girls bathroom so I can do some stuff for her."

Shocked, the girls asked him, ``what do you mean?"

``Well last night, I had to get four boys to cum and when that was done then Joyce made me lick on her vagina and then her two friends made me do the same for them. I was so tired and hurting but they were very rough with me. They even had a dog collar and a leash and a whip and, oh it was so horrible!" Blake was crying now from the release of emotion.

The girls looked at each other in disbelief. Tears were forming in their eyes also, until Penny and Kathy couldn't hold them back any longer and they started crying also and then finally Amy, Karen and Janet were crying. They had a good long cry, until finally Blake got a hold of himself and said, ``thank you all for being here for me. Just to know that you care for me, is more important than anything that Joyce did to me."

When she had collected herself, Penny asked, ``who were the boys?"

They were football players for Madison high. Big giant guys, they were linemen or something I guess. Three of them were kind of innocent I guess, I mean I made them nervous cause they thought I was so pretty." They all laughed a little at the thought. But the fourth guy, his name was Dave, had an absolutely giant penis. Like he was Paul Bunyan or something. I mean it was unreal. And there is something about him that scares me. I lied that I was having my period, but I think if he ever sees me again he will force me to have sex with him. I think he would rape me. Anyway, I guess I made him cum pretty well. When his member got hard it was like a baseball bat or something, I had to suck just on the end of it a little bit and then hold it with both hands. He made it cum all over me."

Gosh, first Mr. Morris, now Dave and these other boys, it must just be some kind of bad luck," Janet added. You're going to get such a wrong impression about being a girl!"

Oh no Janet," Blake said, I understand. It's just as long as I am afraid for my mom and dad to find out, I'm vulnerable. I really am happy I'm a girl now and I never want to go back. And I think that soon I'll get the courage to tell at least my mom. At breakfast today, I was thinking I ought to tell her. But I got scared and couldn't."

``So what are you going to do about Joyce in sixth period?" Kathy asked.

``I guess I have to do what she wants."

``Pamela, I don't think you should!" Amy said.

``Yes, Pam, I agree with Amy," Karen said.

``But you and Amy are a lot stronger than me and if I don't meet her I'm sure she'll get mad at me and probably hurt me. I don't think she would tell my mom and dad anything, cause she does sort of really want me to be her girl friend and lover. I mean I think now she sort of sees me as her little girl friend who has to do what she wants. Its kind of eerie like I'm her sex slave or something. She saved me from the boys I think because she sees me as her property and they were hurting me. But last night with her friends helping her, I was just a sexual object to them. They were whipping me and choking me, so I had to do what they wanted." The memory was making Blake cry again so he stopped talking.

``Look, if Joyce tries to hurt you we'll protect you."

``Yes. When sixth period comes, you really have to stand up to her at all costs!"

Ten minutes into sixth period, Joyce got her self excused to go to the bathroom. She stared hard at Blake as she was leaving the room and signaled with a nod of her head that he should remember to do what she had written in a note to him: exactly 2 minutes after she left, he was to be excused and join her in the girls restroom. She had given no indication as to what he should do if there was someone in the hall who could see him enter it, or even worse, if he ran into a girl other than Joyce in the bathroom. He supposed that Joyce was not smart enough to think about these things. He counted silently to himself, two minutes and then raised his hand to get the teacher's attention. He could see Amy frowning at him and he was torn between fear of Joyce and losing the respect of the Girls-Only Club members. Just when he had decided that he would not go, by lowering his hand, the teacher called on him to find out what he wanted. Caught off guard he asked to be excused and the teacher gave him permission. He could see Amy roll her eyes up in sarcasm, and as Blake walked past her desk, he whispered to her, ``I won't do it!" and Amy smiled back and gave him a thumb's up sign.

Blake stepped out into the hall and walked toward the boys room which was adjacent to the girls room. Just as he got there, Joyce came out of the girls bathroom and signaled for him to follow her. The determined look in her eye was so fierce that he lost all courage and followed obediently behind her back into the girls bathroom. Luckily it was deserted and she led him into a stall and locked the door behind them.

Now my little cutie, you're going to do for me what you did last night! First I've got to pee." It was very awkward with the two of them in the small space and they had to hold each other tight for Joyce to maneuver around Blake to where she pulled down her jeans and panties and sat on the seat to pee. She let out a stream and then cleaned herself off with toilet paper. Blake stood next to her trembling while she did this. He kept trying to tell himself to just leave but couldn't do it. He looked so terrified, Joyce said, calm down, Pammy, this is fun, isn't it?"

``I'm scared Joyce. What if somebody comes in?"

``Don't worry about it, they won't look under the door. Take off your jeans and shirt; I like it when you look like a girl. OK?"

Blake was afraid to protest, so he slowly stripped down to just his bra, girdle and stockings. ``Now, I'm going to lean back on the seat and put my legs up in the air while you get down on your knees in front of me and I'll put my legs over your head. Blake did as he was told and found himself with his head trapped between her thighs with her pussy staring at him from a few inches away. He could look down past her vagina and see the toilet bowl. To get balance he had to hold onto to the sides of the bowl with his hands.

She said, ``c'mon on princess, give it a good licking, like last night." Blake inched his face down towards it. Joyce spread her legs apart wider so he could get in towards it. As he got in closer his head was just inches from the toilet bowl and he could see her urine in the water and could smell its faint odor. His mind was reeling from an increasing revulsion at what he was doing. This was going too far. At some deep inner level he couldn't see himself treated so abjectly. Joyce had grabbed his head and was now pushing it down the final few inches. His jaw was practically touching the rim of the toilet, and her vagina was an inch away from his mouth. He stuck out his tongue ready to lick it as Joyce forced his head hard up into it. As his tongue ran across the pussy his arms slipped and he fell forward completely into it.

Something snapped within him and he jerked back in a frenzy trying to free his head from between her legs. Although she was stronger than him and held him tightly, he managed to get his head out and struggled up to his feet. He was crying hysterically, I can't I can't I can't. I can't do it Joyce. I'm sorry, I just can't do it, I'm not that kind of person. I just can't do that. I'm sorry, don't beat me up and don't be mad at me. I just can't do it." He was shaking so hard and crying so hard Joyce was taken completely by surprise. He faced away from her covering his head and pressed it into a corner of the stall. Joyce stood up, pulled up her panties and jeans and said, its OK, Pamela. All you had to say was you didn't want to do it. I won't force you."

Through his crying Blake said, ``you really mean that Joyce. You're not mad, you won't hurt me?"

``C'mon Pamela, you're my friend now. I don't hurt friends. I thought you'd really like to eat me out. Last night you seemed to really like doing it."

Blake couldn't imagine that Joyce and he were in the same place last night. She must be incredibly dense he thought. Sort of a female counterpart to the football players.

We better get back to class," Joyce said. Put your clothes back on and wash your eyes in the sink."

Joyce opened the stall and stepped out at the exact same moment as the door to the bathroom opened. Blake, standing there in his bra and girdle looked up in shock to see Mrs. Gardner, the school assistant principal. The shock on her face rivaled that of Blake's.

What in tarnation is going on here? I heard a commotion from the hallway." Looking back between Joyce and Blake, Mrs. Gardner said, Blake, what are you doing in the girls bathroom. And why in heaven's name are you wearing girls underclothes? Joyce what is going on here? Why is he in here with you dressed like that?"

Joyce who didn't appear to be phased by the presence of the assistant principal said, ``I was just going to the bathroom, Ms. Gardner and Blake was just showing me his new clothes."

Frowning at Joyce, Ms. Gardner said, ``Joyce go back to your classroom. Tell your teacher that I asked Blake to come with me. Blake, put on your pants and shirt."

Joyce left the room and Ms. Gardner watched as Blake put his clothes back on. ``In all my years...." she said to herself. Blake was shaking like a leaf. He had never been so frightened as he was now. Getting caught in the girls bathroom was probably cause for being expelled. What could he say to his parents? What was to happen to his career? His chance to go to college and what about the harassment he would surely get once the other boys found out.

When he was dressed again he followed Ms. Gardner out of the bathroom and down the hall. They entered the main office and passed by the three school secretaries who worked there. They looked up and smiled at him as he passed. Blake was an honor student and they all knew him well. He tried to smile back and look nonchalant and was relieved that Ms. Gardners quickly led him into her private office, where she shut the door behind them and told him to have a seat.

She paced back and forth for a minute deep in thought and then said, ``Explain yourself Blake."

``Ms. Gardner, I won't lie to you. I wear girl's clothes as much as I can. I am sure I am really a girl." He could see that her face was impassive. He had never really been up close to her before, and he could see that she was probably about his mothers age, maybe a little older. She was wearing a gray suit: skirt and jacket with a white blouse and scarf around her neck.

``We'll deal with that later, but what were you doing in the girls bathroom and why were you there with Joyce, of all people?"

``Joyce told me to meet her there. I mean she has become my friend and she wanted to meet me there, and I guess I didn't want to do it, but I'm kind of afraid of her, afraid to say no to her. She's one of the really tough girls, you know and I thought it best to go. But then when I was in there, I got so scared and I was sure it was wrong, so I then told her I had to leave. Thats when you came in. I mean you must have heard me telling her I had to leave. I guess I had gotten kind of hysterical, cause I was afraid she would hurt me."

``Blake why did Joyce really want you in the bathroom. It looks to me like you were both in the stall together, and you were undressed!"

``Well Joyce sort of likes me sexually. Ms. Gardner. Am I going to be expelled from school?" As Blake said this, tears formed in his eyes and he began to cry.

Ms. Gardner reached in her purse and took out a lace hanky and passed it to Blake. Here, wipe your eyes Blake. I'm not going to expel you from school, but I must have some answers to my questions. Blake, of all the students in the school I think you are the last one that I could imagine this happening to. What did you mean by saying that Joyce likes me sexually?" I know Joyce quite well, she has been here many times for misbehaving, and I think all the faculty have been concerned about her promiscuity. But this is the first time she has dragged one of our best students down to her level."

``Well, please don't tell anyone else, but last night she made me have sex with four guys, I mean I had to lick on them until they came. Then she sort of made me suck on her vagina and also two other younger girls who I never saw before. Then today, she tells me that I'm her really good friend and she wanted me to lick on her vagina again in the bathroom. But something snapped in me Ms. Gardner and I knew that I couldn't do it. I knew that no self-respecting girl would let herself be coerced like that, and I decided to put my foot down and refuse. I was so sure she would hit me that I guess I kind of got hysterical but I knew I had to stop it. Ms. Gardner, from now on I'm never going to let anyone take sexual advantage of me again. And to be honest I realize that I am partly to blame about what happened with last night, since I should have just said NO!"

His long speech was said with such sincerity that Ms. Gardner felt moved by it. The passion of the young boy in front of her touched her heart and she said very gently, ``Yes you should have, and if you are having a problem with another student, particularly if you are afraid of being hurt by them, you really have to tell a teacher about it."

``I know you're right Ms. Gardner, but Joyce knew all about my dressing up like a girl and that kind of made me afraid to defy her. She could easily tell the guys about me."

``So the point is you should not be coming to school wearing a bra and girdle and stockings. Then you would never have had any trouble at all."

There was a silence as Blake thought about how to answer that. ``Part of me thinks your right Ms. Gardner, but an even bigger part of me really needs for me to dress like a girl. If I don't wear a bra, I feel undressed, and I don't feel complete unless I have some pretty lacy panties or girdle on."

Ms. Gardner smiled as he said this. ``Let me take another look at your clothes."

``What, Ms. Gardner?"

``Take off your pants and shirt again so I can get a better look at you. I've never really met a boy like you before. Boys usually are so desperate to be men. They try and show off their strength and here you are, just as determined to be a girl. "

Blake did as he was told until he was standing shyly in his bra, girdle and stockings. Ms. Gardner looked him over carefully. Come here" she said and he walked over until he was standing next to her chair. She reached out and gently touched his bra cup and felt him as if trying to determine if he had any bosom or not. She let her hand drop down until it touched the lace on his girdle, and then she ran it over the garters holding up his stockings. She seemed deep in thought and said to herself, very interesting, to see the girls underwear go across your skin like it belongs there. I really wonder what I should do?"

She pushed the intercom to the front office and said, ``Marsha, could you and the other secretaries come in here for a second."

In a moment the door opened and the three ladies joined Ms. Gardner in the office. The shock of seeing Blake caused them to laugh. ``What's going on Principal Gardner? Why did you dress Blake in a bra and girdle?" Marsha asked incredulously.

No, no, Marsha, I found Blake in the girls restroom like this." She explained the story to the women and then said, I asked you in here to help me. What should we do? Do we have to call up Blake's parents?"

No, no, oh, no!" Blake cried out and began crying again. I'm thinking of telling my mom soon, but I just can't do it yet."

Blake's crying was upsetting to the women, and they did their best to calm him down again. They talked together about what to do. The bells for changing the class rang and a few minutes later there was a knock on the door. Marsha opened it a crack to see who was there and said, ``oh hi Amy."

Blake and the women could hear Amy say, ``we're looking for Pamela, I mean Blake. Joyce said he was here. Is there anything the matter?"

Ms. Gardner walked to the door and said, ``don't worry Amy, oh, and Janet, Penny, Kathy and Karen. Blake is fine. Why are you all so concerned?"

Realizing the club members had come seeking him, Blake ran to them and said, ``I'm so glad to see you all. Ms. Gardner caught me with Joyce. But its only cause I was refusing to do what she wanted."

``You all know each other I see. Come on in girls, maybe you can also help us out with Blake."

Blake was ecstatic to be with the club members, and they all gathered around him in the office facing the four older women. ``Why are you girls all so involved with Blake?"

Karen spoke up, ``Principal Gardner, Blake, who is really Pamela now, is a member of our Girls-Only Club. And we had known that Joyce was going to force him to go to the bathroom with her. When only she came back and told the teacher that he was coming here, we were very concerned that something had happened to her."

The women found it amusing that they referred to Blake as a girl, and Ms. Gardner said, ``you mean to say that you all call him Pamela now?"

``Yes, we do."

``Like I was saying Ms. Gardner, I am a girl now. Oh, I so very much want to be a girl just like the others. I know I don't think like a boy at all."

Ms. Gardner said, ``OK, OK honey you made that point very well. But you must understand this is a very hard thing for a school to deal with. We have rules and regulations, yet I doubt if they apply to this situation. So I'm not sure what needs to be done."

Marsha spoke up now, Ms. Gardner, Blake or, oh, I mean Pamela, doesn't have a you know what" down there. So how can he" or she" be a she according to the school system?"

A good point," Ms. Gardner said. She reached her hand up inside Blake's girdle from the bottom until she encountered his panties. Oh he's wearing panties also!" she exclaimed. She then fiddled her hand around them until she found his penis. She gently grasped it in her fingers and while using her other hand to stretch back the lower part of the girdle, she pulled it out. ``Look at this thing!" As she talked she alternately grabbed it and pulled it and slid her hand over it.

``My oh my, its a boy's penis," Marsha said and the other secretary's chuckled. She took her hand and grabbed its end while Ms. Gardner had her fingers around the base. The excitement and stress of the afternoon was too much for Blake. In a sudden, uncontrollable shudder his penis stretched out and began ejaculating.

Ms. Gardner and Marsha fell into a fit of laughter, while Blake and the girls ran for tissues to mop of the cum, which had scattered all over the carpet and top of the desk. Getting control of herself, Ms. Gardner said, ``I'm sorry Blake, I know I shouldn't have laughed, but this is the silliest thing I think I've ever seen. Now we have to make some decisions about you and your status in the school."

``Ms. Gardner, I know that my clitoris is like a boy's penis; I can't tell you how much I hate it, and I am thinking that I will have surgery to remove it someday."

Oh, no, Blake," Ms. Gardner cried, we don't want you to hate yourself!"

``I don't hate myself, I mean as Pamela, I don't. Its just that, one day I want to have babies. I've thought a lot about it lately, and I'm sure that that is what I really want in my life. Of course, I can't ever have a baby but I think if I meet the right woman, I can have a baby with her and then I could be the mother. After that, I could have the operation. You see what I'm saying."

``But what about your career Blake? You're one of our most gifted science students."

``I am still interested in science, and I would continue to pursue it, but I wouldn't feel like my life is complete unless I could be a mother."

Marsha spoke up, ``I think you would make a fine mother, Pamela."

``Thank you for saying that."

We're getting off track," Ms. Gardner said, the problem for us now is how are you going to be dressing in school. I suppose as long as you want to wear women's underwear out of sight of the other students, we have no right to prohibit it. The real question is, what are we to do if it becomes common knowledge that you are doing it? Of course, if you decide to just come to school dressed like a girl, that would be a whole different problem, wouldn't it?"

But Ms. Gardner," Amy said, all the girls in the school already know Blake's secret, and they are 100

``That's true," Janet added.

``OK, let me rephrase the question. What happens if the boys find out? In that case, it will be just impossible to protect Blake."

I don't see why that is so," Penny said. Right now, none of the boys would ever attack any of the girls, and if they found out that Blake was really a girl, then they would leave him alone also. I guess there would just be a brief time of adjustment, but if we all worked together, I mean all the girls in the school, then I'm sure we could work it out."

The bell for the next class rang and Ms. Gardner said, ``you're all late for class now, I'll have to write you an excuse. I must say I am very impressed at how much you care about Blake or Pamela. He/she is very lucky to have friends like you."

``I sure am Ms. Gardner. I promise I'll never go in the girls bathroom again as Blake. And I also promise that if there is any way I can figure out to become Pamela all the time I'll do it. I also can't thank you enough, you and Marsha and the other ladies for being so understanding. You all are so lucky to be women and I want so much to be a woman just like you."

The next day, Wednesday, was both a meeting of the Girls-Only Club, followed by a wedding rehearsal at the church and then a dinner at a nearby restaurant. Upon arriving at Kathy's house with the other girls, Blake changed into his yellow dress, put on his makeup, breasts and wig. He felt alive and pretty after the last detail was done. The dress had a high collar ending just below his throat. Being zipped into it up his back and with its matching belt snugly tightened around his waist gave him as nice a figure as he could expect. His bosom pushed out with womanly grace against thin vertical pleats decorating the chest area. ``I look a little like Donna Reed," he thought with an inward smile. He casually walked into Kathy's room to join the other girls; there was no longer a need for exclamations of delight and approval: he was just one of them now, and their appreciation and admiration for his prettiness was exchanged in subtle smiles and knowing glances.

However, just as he was just about to sit Penny interjected, ``Pamela, you should put on a slip! Everyone can see the outline of your legs through your skirt."

Oh, I didn't realize it," Blake exclaimed and looked down to see what she meant. He smoothed the yellow cotton fabric against his sides and saw that Penny was quite right; the shadows of his legs were evident. He went back to his room and selected a white half slip from his drawer and stepped into it careful not to catch the waist band on the long pointy heels of his shoes, and lifted it up into place underneath his dress. Looking in the mirror he saw that it had the desired affect. Just when I thought I knew everything, there are still things I don't know," he scolded himself. ``I've got to really concentrate on being the perfect girl!"

After he rejoined the club members, they decided to cancel their meeting since they were too excited about greeting the other members of the wedding party as they arrived. The six of them filed downstairs to await the guests. Brad was already there, whom Blake had never met before. In person, he was even sexier than his photo and the girls gathered around him to wish him their best. He warmly greeted Blake, giving him a kiss on the cheek. ``So you are the famous Pamela I've been hearing so much about," he said, causing Blake to blush.

I'm pleased to meet you too," Blake said, and I'm so excited about getting to be a bridesmaid. I can't thank you and Beth for agreeing to it."

``The pleasure's all ours, especially to have such a beautiful girl lighting up the podium. Especially if you have a smile like that one on the wedding day!" Blake's smile grew even wider if that were possible.

At that moment the doorbell rang and the six classmates of Brad who would escort the girls down the aisle entered. After all the introductions were made, they were joined by Mrs. O'Connor and Beth, who then decided how they would be paired for the wedding march. Since Amy and Blake were the tallest they were matched with the tallest of the men. Blake's partner was to be Juergan, who, at six feet was more than half a foot taller than Blake. ``Will you dance with me at the party?" he asked Blake.

``Oh, of course Juergan, I want to dance with everybody!" Blake said smiling up at him.

``And a slow dance, too?"

Yes, indeed!" Blake added, flattered by Juergan's obvious interest. Juergan, was clearly several years older than him, besides being absolutely gorgeously handsome. While Blake tried to act comfortably with him, he felt inwardly scared. He couldn't see what a man like Juergan would want with a girl as young as himself, except for sex of course. But he would definitely not let himself be taken advantage of. No never again! On the other hand, Juergan was even nicer looking than Clifford or Dave. He imagined himself crushed against his chest during a slow dance and wondered how he would find the resolve to stop petting with him. Like all boys Juergan would have a hand going up his dress in the dark, or would reach inside his dress to sneak a hand inside his bra. He imagined himself saying, I'm ashamed of you Juergan! We hardly know each other. You'll have to wait until I know that you really are serious about me!"

Blake thoughts were interrupted by the entrance of some more of the wedding party, including Kathy's aunt who came with her daughter, Rachel and son-in-law. Rachel came carrying her six-month old twin babies, a boy and a girl. The Girls-Only Club members were very excited about the babies and Blake, in particular, found them to be totally adorable. Rachel was resplendent with pride at her two lovely children and inwardly Blake felt both great joy and deep envy: too bad he didn't have his own babies to show off.

With time to kill before the rehearsal, the girls retreated with Rachel and the babies up to Kathy's bedroom, leaving the men behind. The babies started crying and Rachel said that it was time to feed them. In the privacy of Kathy's room she unbuttoned her blouse revealing her large white nursing bra. She undid the snaps holding closed each of the cups and then, with the help of Kathy and Karen positioned the babies across her lap for feeding. The two babies eagerly began suckling on Rachel's engorged breasts. Blake was sitting across from her and watched with wide eyed fascination at the process. His jealousy of Rachel gnawed at him and inwardly he began to sweat with confusion and sorrow. ``She is just showing off," he thought. Then realized that was a crazy thought, since Rachel had no idea that he could never have a baby. In spite of the frustration, he loved watching the little hands of the babies gently grabbing the sides of their mother's breasts and to hear the soft sucking sounds and Rachel's contented smile as the built up tension in her breasts was relieved.

He sat back on the sofa and straightened out his dress and then folded his hands in his lap. The difference in size between his own breasts and Rachel's was enormous. Just when he thought he was becoming a girl, he had a terrible feeling of inadequacy next to her. He had to fight the temptation to feel sorry for himself. I am very feminine," he thought. I can be more feminine than Rachel. My bra is sexier he thought, and my panties too. He also noted that he had high heels on and Rachel didn't. Also his nails were polished and hers weren't. These thoughts are crazy. She doesn't mean me any harm."

While lost in these thoughts, Rachel finished feeding the girl baby and then asked who would like to burp her until I finish feeding the boy?" Though too shy and nervous to say anything, Blake's face signaled how eager he was to take on the job, and Karen spoke up for him, let Pamela have the honors, she probably has never done it before."

``Oh can I?" Blake said excitedly.

``Sure. You've got to get some practice in before you ever get your own!"

Though hurting inside, Blake said, ``so true, Rachel. I can't wait to have my own baby one day!" Blake got up and gingerly reached out to take the baby from Rachel. He supported her carefully under the arms and back and went back to his seat carrying her. There Karen helped him position the baby across his chest with it's head against his shoulder so he could burp her. He gently patted her until she let out a loud burp, which startled Blake and caused everyone to laugh.

``A satisfied customer!" Blake said smiling. After a few more moments of burping, he adjusted the baby to lie in his cradled arms against his breasts. As he looked down at it, his hair fell over the baby's face and he brushed it aside.

Sing her a lullaby," Rachel said, and Blake softly sang the famous lullaby song to the baby. He was so choked up with maternal feeling for the child he could barely sing. Pamela going to make a wonderful mother some day," Rachel said. In just moments the little girl was asleep.

When the boy was done feeding Rachel burped him. Unlike his sister, he was not sleepy and he eagerly enjoyed being passed from girl to girl as they took turns holding him. While they were thus admiring the child, Mrs. O'Connor came up to the room to tell Rachel and the others to come down stairs to meet Brad's parents who had arrived. Seeing Blake with the baby she said, ``what an absolute picture post card of domestic tranquillity!"

``Mom, don't you agree that Pam would make the perfect mother" Kathy added.

``I was just observing that."

Kathy, don't tease me!" Blake said laughing. He felt so content holding the baby, he wished the moment would never end. Rachel, I'll be happy to stay here with the baby so she doesn't wake up."

``Oh, would you Pamela? That would be just great! You're sure you don't mind?"

``I'm just loving every second of it. Really, please let me just stay here. It'll give her a chance to rest so she'll be better during the rehearsal."

``OK. If she wakes up and is cranky, just give her something to suck. Between you and me just give her your nipple if you want. She won't realize its not mine! If she is still crying, check to see if she is wet or not!"

Blake nodded his agreement while everyone else got up to go downstairs to join the festivities. Kathy was the last one out and she closed the door part way and turned out all except one lamp and then wished Blake luck with the baby. Blake sat in the semi-dark with his skirt spread out on the sofa around him and the little baby sleeping in his lap with its head resting on his arm. It was quiet and he could hear the breaths of the baby and an occasional sound from the crowd downstairs.

He tried to imagine what would happen if his dad walked in the room and saw him. Maybe he would first see his son's legs wearing high heels and stockings. Then looking higher, the hem of his skirt spread out over the edge of the sofa and then the little baby sleeping in his lap. Certainly his chest would appear very girlish and his thin arms and the delicate pink polish on the ends of his fingers. Looking up he might have some trouble recognizing his son, since the face was feminine with lipstick, mascara and rouge and the long perfectly brushed hair. His dad would say, is that you Blake?" and Blake would say, yes dad, except now my name is Pamela and I'm your daughter. Are you mad at me?"

``No, Pamela, just a little surprised, But I do see you as Pamela and I love you the same. In fact, I admire your courage and I'm happy that you found yourself."

Blake's day dream was abruptly interrupted by the baby crying in his lap. He tried to comfort her in various ways, but she didn't respond. In exasperation, he decided to follow Rachel's suggestion about his nipple. No one was in the room to help him, so he would try it and see if it worked. Reaching behind his neck he began unzipping his dress, then reached behind his back and pulled the zipper down to his waist. He was then free to slip out of the top of the yellow dress. He pulled down the left strap of his bra over his arm and then pulled the bra cup away exposing his breast. Gently he maneuvered the baby so that her mouth covered the nipple. She immediately grabbed onto it with her mouth and began to steadily suckle. Blake was afraid that she would complain about there being no milk, but she seemed to be quite happy just having something to suck onto. Her pressure on the nipple was gentle and Blake felt just a small pleasurable feeling in his real nipple through the breast form. Over time, the feeling grew in intensity and he began feeling an overwhelming love for the baby. ``So this must be how mothers bond to their children," he thought. That he could feel this emotion so intensely made him wonder how he could have ever thought of himself as a boy. He steered his thoughts back to his dad. Then he thought how much he wanted to share this experience with his mom and Janice. He would definitely tell Janice about it and one day soon he hoped he would be able to tell his mom.

(c) Copyright 1997: "peter bernard" pamelapamela@hotmail.com.

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