It was the last night that all my friends and I would be together in middle school. It was called "memory dinner". Everyone would get dressed up and all nice. The girls would get there hair all done and there make up set up. The guys would wear really nice pressed suits. It was like prom night, but better because we would not be graduating that year. First we would arrive and everyone would say how nice everyone looked. By the time everyone entered the school lobby, we all sat down at our reserved seats with our group of friends. They started calling us up to get our nice dinners that were made just for us. All the teachers were waiting on us. It was definitely a night to remember.
The thing is, I remembered it a different way. When everyone was done eating, we moved to the cafeteria. This is where our big extravaganza dance would take place. Everything was decorated. The DJ was playing the music that was popular at the time. Although it was not my taste of music, I did not mind, because me friends and I were having the night of our life. My friend and I were dancing together and then just for laughs all of my friends started switching partners so everyone was dancing with everyone. Just for laughs though, Charlie and I started dancing. Our hands touched once and something came over me. Something that I have never felt before. It was as if this guy was something of another world. I have never had feelings for a guy before, but for some reason this was different. On this night, when I danced with him in a jokingly matter for only a minute, it was my night.
A year passes, and I hold my feelings in for him. I was not very good friends with him, to where we were at the point where we hung out. That changed though. It was when we both joined the rowing team. Well he joined it, and one of my friends wanted me to join also. I was really unsure on weather I should or not. So I asked what guys were going to be doing this too. She happen to have mentioned Charlie. At that time it was a sure answer. I figured with this sport, we could work out an arrangement and have my parents pick him up on the way to practice, and then his parents take me home afterwards. Sure enough the arrangement worked. This is where I though when we had a early morning practice he could stay the night so we could sleep in a little more instead of waking up so early to stop at his house, then go to the boat club.
Well that's exactly what happened. I knew that he didn't have the same feelings for me as I did for him. But the thing is, I didn't care. My day was better when he was with me. It seemed like things didn't matter.
Charlie was about 5'10. He was shorter then me, but I was really tall so just about everyone was shorter then me. He had bright blue eyes, and short brown hair. Sometimes it was spiked up in the front, other times it was flat, but I liked it either way so it didn't bug me. He has such nice abs, and a slight upper build. He basically has a swimmer body. That would make sense because he was one of the top swimmers of the school. He was definitely a really good looking guy.
I never understood why he would date the girls that would always end up hurting him. I hated seeing him hurt. We would always talk together when he would end up heartbroken. We had become something that I wanted, the best of friends. He trusted me and I trusted him. Something I wanted more then anything. I was happy when he would call me up and talk to me of his feelings, it made me feel important in his life.
He started dating this chick, this time I knew it would be a serious relationship because she was one of my trustworthy friends also. The relationship they had was deep, it lasted almost a year. She broke up with him for another guy. He was so heartbroken. The day the break up happened he didn't want to stay at home, he just wanted a place out, he didn't want to be questioned by his parents about what had happened. I offered for him to stay at my house, he accepted and when he came over, he was in tears. He was laying on my bed weeping as I was sitting in my computer chair.
"Dude, do you want to talk about it?"
"No" Charlie said in a cracking voice.
I could tell he was hurt, hurt really badly. I wanted to tell him that I was there for him, and that if he needed me to do anything, I would. But I could never get the courage to tell him how I really felt, it was just not in me. I was afraid of losing everything with him.
"I don't understand why people break up with me!" Charlie said with a loud tone. Tears were running down his eyes, more then what were before. I could only imagine what the other person was feeling. Then again, I think Charlie was more hurt for the fact that she left him for another guy.
"I know that I would never break up with you" I said without thinking.
Just at that time I looked at him in the eyes in total shock of what I just said, and he turned his head to look at me. In my mind I was thinking "oh shit what did I just do, what the fuck did I just do!" Him laying there in my bed with his head turned at me. He had water in his eyes, from the tears.
"What did you mean by that?" he said.
I could not gather any words to say. I was in complete shock. I was saying "he knows! He fucking knows!" I was in total disbelief. I quickly gathered my thoughts, I was panicking. I have just jeopardized our friendship. I had to come up with something, I just didn't know what.
"Well, I mean if I was a chick and I was with you." I said in a trembling voice.
I knew that would not convince him, I just didn't have anything else to say. He stared coldly into my eyes. It seemed like an eternity on the last time someone said something.
"Why the fuck do you keep staring at me?!" I said, trying to break the silence.
After that he sat up on his bed. I did not know what he was going to do. Was he going to fight me, was he going to get up and leave? My heart must have been going a million miles a second. I was so afraid. Then he started walking towards me.