Copyright 2024 – Daemon D. Hart
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The Human Bearer
A soft glow filled their room, making their naked bodies appear as if covered in a lustrous sheen, blue in color. Xana was slowly caressing the lower part of Riordan's belly and they were enjoying the aftermath of their lovemaking like any other couple that had ever been in love. Gone was the sense of urgency from before, just the same as the threat of danger and violence. This time around, Riordan thought, they would be fine. He was yet to decide whether it was just his wishful thinking or that was the truth. Their imaginary children had defeated those enemies, and now they were safe.
As he caressed Xana's chest slowly, he rubbed his head against a strong shoulder, enjoying the sense of safety it provided. "We haven't talked about much," he began. "It looks to me like you know more about what happened to me, as confusing as that was, than I know about your fight here, on Tu'lek."
"We fought dearly," Xana replied. "Battling enemies of such nature is a task like no other. Do you believe in fate, Riordan?"
"How come you're asking me this? Don't you believe that deities and fate and whatnot are Earthian concepts?"
"Yes, but that is not the point. You see, I was the one that protected the ship from the inside since the others, through no fault of their own, couldn't have faced our enemies and stood their ground for long. And it was because my love for you sent me to take you and our boy back from Gamni Gafilos. The general hurt me so badly that I could die. And yet, I survived, and because of my survival, I could protect my kind when the moment of reckoning came. Wouldn't you call it fate?"
"It's very on point," Riordan agreed. "Tell me more about your fight. I'm so happy to see no traces of wounds on your body, although I'm well aware that your species heals fast. Only that--"
"Only not those caused by the poison the traitors perfected under Gamni Gafilos's rule. My brethren couldn't stand in front of our enemies the way I could."
"Then," Riordan asked, swallowing a ball of doubt in his throat, "were there many victims?"
"Fortunately, no, because I baited the traitors into following me. The others annoyed them with side attacks, but I made them understand that it was me they wanted."
"Because of your immunity?"
"Yes, because of that. Arrogance is the downfall of the strongest warriors," Xana said, speaking slowly as if he was quoting words of old. "And they believed – wrongly – that their concentrated attacks would eventually take me down. Nothing could be further from the truth."
"Was Junior in danger at any moment?" Riordan asked.
"We were all in danger," Xana replied calmly. "And yes, that means Junior too. But I wouldn't let anything happen to him, Riordan, and you must know that. It was his first true battle, and I am proud of him."
"You know, during those times, when I thought you would rather give up on Junior than fight a losing battle, I hated you. And then, you came for us, and you were so heroic and I fell in love with you all over again. Am I making any sense to you, or it's all just gibberish you're putting up with because you like me enough?" Riordan teased gently while his hand continued to take in every shape of Xana's muscles, round and pleasant to the touch everywhere. "You know, Marn said something at the time that stuck with me. About how you also suffered."
"Yes, I suffered a lot, and not only because the thought of losing you made me go mad with grief. When I truly let you go on that mission, when I stepped out of your way, my decision to follow had already been taken."
"That's new. I had no idea. Why didn't you tell me about it sooner?" He straightened up so that he could take a good look at his husband's handsome face. Even in the dim light, he could make out all his features, and it pleased him greatly just to stare. To think that he had felt tempted in the past to place a fist into that beautiful face. Not that the time for it was gone completely. The chances were that they would end up infuriating each other from time to time. But now wasn't any of those times. Now, he wanted to get to the bottom of that confession that had taken him completely by surprise.
"We haven't had that much time with each other lately," Xana explained in a no-nonsense tone. "That should tell you why I haven't spoken about it until the present moment."
Riordan sighed and let his head rest against the smooth pec underneath his cheek. "You are always so logical that you make me like you less. Only for a moment or so," he added quickly as he felt Xana tense under his touch. "And I'm teasing you. Tell me more about what you felt during those times. And why did you take on another bearer so soon? By the way, that hurt."
"I am a high profile member of those ruling this ship. Being without a bearer would have been against protocol."
Something in Xana's voice was a bit off, so Riordan felt only compelled to probe further. "Kanto hasn't had a bearer till Florent appeared, and look at him, doing that for however long he wanted. I don't recall... wait, yeah, okay, so Marn pushed a lot for Kanto and I to happen because he believes in how strong that guy's genes are and what a boon they must be for the Xeno race." Since Xana was starting to properly boil underneath him, he realized that he needed to tell the truth precisely so that no misunderstandings remained. "I only wanted you, so don't worry about that anymore. It was just a bit of craziness happening to all of us. Still, that doesn't let you off the hook. Why did you take on Jasno? And really, that guy of all people?"
"He was available and willing," Xana said curtly.
"Ah, I see. And it had nothing, but absolutely nothing to do with the fact that you just wanted to see what kind of face I'd make once I noticed you strutting around with him in tow."
"I do not strut," Xana said, his voice tense.
"Right. Like that's the most important aspect of it all." Riordan snorted for show, because he could tell he had got his husband in a tight spot, and he enjoyed teasing him a little, while also extracting a few truths from him. They were given a well-deserved reprieve. It didn't hurt to have a little bit of fun, too.
"And what is the most important aspect of it all, Riordan?" Xana asked, trying his damnedest to sound stern and master-like.
Like that shit flew with him these days. He had been through plenty of stuff to know that he could be demanding and refuse to be forced like a square peg through a round hole. So, he pushed himself up so that he and his husband would face each other, making sure to press himself down against Xana's lower body.
"Well, I think that's obvious. You wanted to make me jealous."
Xana's face was the very picture of consternation. "How did you know that?"
"Oh, come on, you were so obvious I could see it from space. I know, we are in space, and that even proves my point better. You were transparent, Xana."
"I thought--" Xana stopped abruptly and then, reconsidered his words. "To be truthful, I thought you'd hurt seeing me like that, with some other bearer to care for. You know I didn't touch Jasno at all. I found him plain and dull, with his incessant talk about things that don't concern anyone but people with empty heads."
"I love hearing about this," Riordan said. "That's really great, because I thought you really forgot about me for a moment there."
Xana caressed his face, rubbing his thumb against Riordan's bottom lip. His eyes were filled with love and tenderness. "I could never forget about you. You're the reason I exist, and I understood that when I realized that I couldn't live without you and our boy. My conditioning, the conditioning of my species told me to have a rational analysis of the situation."
"An analysis that said you should forget about Junior, fallen to the enemy as he was. Because it was impossible to save him," Riordan said slowly. Even if Xana had gone against his Xeno nature to rescue them, it still pained him even to say those words.
"Yes. And yet. As soon as I understood what hell my life would be without you, I came to the realization that my life was nothing. It would turn to nothing without you by my side. And, as I heard Junior's first words..."
"What? You were hearing him? Like Xeus heard you," Riordan said, as it dawned on him. "The hive of consciousness, right? What was our baby saying? Was Gamni hurting him?" he asked, his voice small and vulnerable now.
"Junior is intelligent," Xana said. "He understood something was missing. Gamni was trying to convince him that he was his parent, and yet, our boy, even in his earliest stages of evolving into the Xenolite he is today, he just knew. And he cried for us, in his own way. That must have been quite startling for the general." To Riordan's surprise, his alien husband let out a small laugh. "To puzzle a Xeno of that caliber. Our son has a truly bright future before him."
"At least tell me that the stupid general didn't abuse him."
"Since Xenolites are fragile beings during their first days of existence, he couldn't use force of any kind. Also, Gamni Gafilos was arrogant enough to believe that he'd be able to fool a mere child into believing whatever he wanted. It appears that he was very wrong."
"Yet, he didn't recognize me at first," Riordan said. "I mean, not that I should have expected it. Gamni snatched him from me once he was barely out of his egg."
"Hence the general's hasty departure at that time. Still, even if he didn't remember you completely, Junior was aware of you. As soon as he was in your arms, everything changed, didn't it?"
"Yes, that's true. Oh," Riordan mumbled and brushed at his eyes. "It feels to me like I'm a cry baby these days."
"It doesn't feel like that to me at all." Xana kissed his closed eyes, first one, then the other, and wiped Riordan's tears with his fingers. His touch was so gentle it almost made more tears fall instead of stopping them. "Your emotional nature is teaching me a lot, my love. I've understood and continue to do so how important is to be happy and work towards that happiness, no matter what it takes. That's what you are for me. You and our boy. Soon, more of them little ones, too."
Riordan snickered as Xana rolled him on his back and felt his baby bump again. "More of them little ones? Who taught you to talk like that?"
"I still have plenty of materials from Earth I must study. Although my race is capable of ingesting large quantities of knowledge, in the case of your race, I feel like I'm only scratching the surface from time to time. It's fascinating." He leaned over and kissed Riordan's belly. "Challenging. Exciting. Even a little scary if I come to think of it more."
"Scary? Because emotions and feelings can be like that?"
"I believe so. But I wouldn't back down from experiencing them at all, because they are all you. You're changing us, you beautiful humans you."
"I hope it's all for the better."
"It is," Xana assured him and placed his cheek against Riordan's body. "It is customary on Earth to listen in, right? When the baby inside begins to kick and all that?"
"Yes, but I doubt these guys would kick, since the shell of your eggs appears to be quite tough. Do you hear anything?" he asked.
"Their voices are small and far from defined, but they are there. Twins."
"A boy and a girl. Junior could tell."
"Amazing," Xana said with satisfaction. "It will be with great pride that we will present our new Xenolites to the others on the ship."
Riordan felt pleasantly exhausted at this point. He didn't want to hurry Xana to sleep, though. It felt so good to be able to talk and talk and share and share everything, from their thoughts to their hopes and dreams. He wanted to talk about it all until they made new memories to share.
"Are you still mad at Marn?" Riordan asked. "For the thing he'd done to us."
"It is a difficult feeling to experience. Like you, I understand his reasoning. But it still hurts, and that is confusing."
"He seems tired."
"Who, His Royal Chancellor? He can't be tired," Xana retorted. "Tiredness doesn't happen to Xenos the way it does to humans."
"Yeah, yeah, your seth turns you all into an energy drink commercial, I know, but there's something going on with him. And I know for a fact that your species gets to live long and all that, but even you get old at some point, right?"
"That is true, and His Royal Chancellor has already lived for more than a century and a half in human years, but he is still far from being considered old," Xana explained.
"Then his tiredness must have emotional roots. We still don't know how he made it all happen, turn our dreams of future children into a weapon to protect the ship."
"That was an unusual confession. It is beyond my understanding, and I accept this fact for now. Nonetheless, I am quite keen on having him disclose such powerful techniques. While all the Xenos on this ship entrust him with their lives and safety, I don't believe that he should keep such knowledge for himself. He must have kept it hidden, as well, since it's not something shared with the others."
"Does it upset you?"
"That he used our children in that manner?" Xana gave him a startled look.
"No, I mean that he kept all these things away from everyone else. All Xenos, I mean. I thought your trust in your leader was absolute."
"Not so much these days. There is a crack in this absolute trust, as you call it, Riordan. And I am still a diplomat, despite having donned a coat of a different cut lately. The council needs to meet and discuss these decisions His Royal Chancellor had made without consulting the rest of us."
"Don't be so hard on him."
"Why wouldn't I? And I don't think anyone is being hard on him. We have prevailed as a species for so long by sharing our knowledge and profiting from it."
Riordan shrugged and yawned. He was getting tired after their vigorous lovemaking from earlier. "I think I saw a different face of him today. He looks a bit like an old man right now. Maybe he needs some rest."
"If that is the case, maybe he should retire," Xana said simply.
"Hey, I didn't mean it like that. I just think that strenuous circumstances played a major role in how he handled everything. I told you. I hate it that he's right, but that doesn't change the truth at all."
"There is a possibility that we could have found a different way to handle everything. A possibility that wouldn't have involved using our children."
The way Xana tensed when it came to that touchy subject told Riordan that his husband would be harder to convince that Marn had been in the right, after all. He disliked it just as much, but he was working towards a logical explanation, and it surprised him that, this time around, his husband was the more emotional one, and not him.
"They will be with us in the future," Riordan said and caressed Xana's arm gently. "We didn't lose them."
"That, if we can trust what His Royal Chancellor is saying. Can we, Riordan?"
The look in Xana's eyes was so intense that Riordan felt the need to blink for a moment. "You do make a good point here, and I'm not going to tell you otherwise. Still, I feel it in myself. That we will be a pair of very happy parents, Xana. We are that now, but we're going to be even happier." To calm Xana's obvious suffering, he took his hand and placed it over his belly. "Tell me more about what you hear them saying. Even if it's just childish gibberish. And we should start thinking about their names, right? A boy and a girl, can you imagine?"
Xana relaxed as he placed his ear against Riordan's belly again. "I hope you're not going to be disappointed, my love, because it seems, from what I can see that they will both have my hair."
"I can live with that," Riordan said happily. "What about their eyes?"
"I can't see that just as yet."
"I'll love them all the same," Riordan assured his husband. "Junior is a great warrior. What are they going to be?"
"I can sense an inclination for..." Xana said slowly and fell silent for a few moments, "building, I think would be the correct term. They are going to be excellent architects, although I advise you not to take the term for its meaning in the Earthian understanding of it."
"You know, I was just asking without thinking that you'd have an answer for me. But that is so absolutely cool. We're going to have two builders in the family. It sounds awesome to me. However, do they really have to go to school when barely weaned from my tit?"
"That cannot be helped," Xana said serenely. "It is what all Xenolites do."
"Okay, okay, so it's still going to be up to me to be the parent with the fun and games."
"I'm certain they will learn many things from you, besides fun and games."
"And I'll make sure to strike a good balance between lessons and play time. That's how you get well-rounded children, Xana."
"Thank you for lecturing me on it, then," his husband said and raised his beautiful eyes to look at him.
Riordan caressed the blond head and kissed Xana on the forehead. "You're welcome," he said, feeling rightfully smug about it.
He looked at how peacefully Junior slept in his tank and felt a little better for the future of their kids. They could survive the attack of ghost-like enemies. They would be fine.
tbc
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