"Luke, for Christ's sake! Why would you want to jump out of a perfectly good airplane? That's not what parachutes are for. They're for an emergency as a last resort. There's a reason for that."

"Come on, don't be a stick-in-the-mud. Don't you have any sense of adventure?"

"No--not with this. You almost made me a widower once. Do you have to go looking for more ways to kill yourself? I swear to God, Luke, if you do this I'll leave you."

The Inn - Chapter 18

The two men didn't talk for some time. Luke was floored at what Jon had said. He wasn't certain Jon meant it literally, but he sure as hell sounded like he did. Luke didn't know what to think.

Jon couldn't believe Luke was considering skydiving, and he couldn't deal with it. Yes, he knew he worried too much and made a bigger deal of everyday things than they called for. But this was different. Jon was not going to stand by and let Luke do something like this. It was the breaking point for Jon--in his mind there was no possible way this was going to happen. The thought of Luke taking a risk like skydiving was out of the question. Jon couldn't live with him doing something like this.

Luke put his hand on Jon's. "Let's go to bed."

They got into bed and Luke had his arm behind Jon's head. Neither said anything for several minutes. Finally Luke spoke.

"Jon, you wouldn't really leave me, would you?"

"You'll never know, because you're not jumping out of any planes."

"But what if I did? Just once, to see what it's like."

"It's up to you. If you wanna jump out of an airplane more than you want me, then go for it. But I won't be there to pick up the pieces, and I'm not gonna go through it. You know I'd do anything for you, but not this. I mean it, Luke--I will not be a part of any of it. If you do this, you're on your own--and I'll be gone."

"You're serious, aren't you? You really feel that strongly about it."

"Yes, I do, and I'm not backing off on this one. I love you too much and you mean everything to me. After what has happened lately, I know I couldn't live without you. But I'm not going to watch you do something that's a needless risk just for a few minutes of excitement. If you want excitement, I'll give you all you can handle right here. Just please don't make me leave--because I will if you go through with this insane idea."

Luke could have a stubborn streak, and when challenged like Jon was doing now, his first instinct was to dig in his heels. He was pretty sure Jon meant what he said, that he really would leave--he'd said it more than once. Should he call Jon's bluff? Was it worth the risk? Luke thought about what it would mean if Jon was suddenly out of his life.

Luke sighed. "Okay, I give up. You win."

"Luke, I'm not trying to 'win' anything. If it was almost anything else, I'd be behind you one-hundred percent. I want you to have fun, and I hate arguing with you. But the thought of you putting your life at risk for no good reason is more than I can take."

"Well, it's not like skydiving has been my life-long ambition. It just came up out of the blue, and I thought it might be fun, but not if it's going to come between us. There's nothing in the world more important to me than you, and I'll never do anything to hurt you. So that's it for the skydiving idea."

"Thank you."

Jon rolled toward Luke and kissed him for a long moment. "Don't go thinking I feel good about 'winning' this because I don't."

"So now that it's settled, I have a question. Would you have left me?"

"What's the difference? It's not an issue now, anyway."

"No, I have to know. Would you really have left me?"

Jon didn't answer right away. "I think maybe I might have. And if I did, I'd move, too, so I wouldn't have to see you, and I wouldn't know if you wound up killing yourself."

"It sounds like you already planned it all out."

"No, but I know I couldn't bear seeing you if we weren't together. But since that's never gonna happen, we don't need to be concerned about it."

Luke looked at Jon. "I think we just had our first fight."

"You think so? I thought we were having a discussion."

Luke smiled, forced himself up on his elbow, and kissed Jon.

"How do you feel about bungee jumping?"

Jon pulled his pillow over his head.

When Joe and Paul left the bar, Joe headed to the parking lot and Paul started walking home. Paul paused and called to Joe.

"Hey, wanna stop at my place for a while? I'll buy you a beer."

Joe shrugged. "Sure."

Joe caught up to Paul and they walked the block and a half to Paul's place. Paul put on some music and got two beers, then they sat on the sectional.

Paul said, "That talk about skydiving sure seemed to ruffle Jon's feathers. He sounded like he was really getting cranked about it."

"Yeah, I think he was. You know how Jon is when it comes to Luke. I guess I can't blame him with all that's happened."

"I wonder if Luke will go skydiving--I'll bet he does."

Joe thought for a moment. "I'm not so sure. Jon seemed like he was getting rattled, and even though he's usually easygoing, when he gets backed into a corner he can be someone to deal with."

"I guess we'll find out soon enough. So what were you thinking about earlier? You were awfully quiet for a long time."

"Nothing. I'm always quiet."

"Not that quiet. Is something bothering you?"

"No, I was just thinking. I don't want to talk about it--you'll just laugh or make a joke."

"No I won't. I swear!" Paul was a little hurt by Joe's response.

Joe did want to talk about what was on his mind, but it was difficult. He tapped his fingers on his thigh for a minute.

"Paul, do you think Cathy likes me?"

"What are you talking about? Of course she likes you. She...Oh, you mean does she LIKE you?"

"Yeah."

"Well, to be honest, I don't know. I never thought about it because she always seemed like one of us guys. That's a little unfair, but it's the truth. I just don't think of her as date material. I don't know why, I guess because it's more like she's my sister."

"If--and that's a big 'if'--if I asked her out, do you think she'd go?"

"I don't see why not. I'm sure she would."

"But what if it doesn't work out? I don't want to lose her as a friend. I can't afford to lose any friends."

"Joe, it's a date. You're not asking her to marry you. Keep it simple--go to a movie and maybe have drinks after. How much could go wrong with that?"

"That other guy is taking her to dinner."

"What other guy?"

"The one she has a date with next Friday."

"Oh, for chrissakes. What do you think she's gonna do? Pull out a calculator to figure who spent more on her? I'm sayin' do the movie and drinks. It'll be easy and you'll be more relaxed. Save the dinner for another time."

"I'll think about it. Please don't say anything to anyone--especially Cathy."

"Joe, you told me this in confidence. I wouldn't breathe a word to anybody."

Joe rose to leave. "Thanks for the advice. And thanks for not laughing at me."

"It never occurred to me. There was nothing funny about it."

Joe walked back to his car. What Paul had said made sense, but he wasn't sure he could go through with it. Then again, he'd opened the door and Paul would be on his case to know what was going on. Joe felt even more pressured than before, and in some ways he wished he hadn't said anything to Paul. But he and Paul were good friends and Joe knew he could trust him. Joe didn't know whether he'd pursue this, but he thought he might.

Greg and Linda Sorensen had finished their dinner and were reading. After a while, Linda placed her magazine in her lap and looked at her husband.

"Greg, I've been thinking."

"Mm hmm..."

"Ever since we saw Luke last week, it's been bothering me. Suddenly he's a grown man, and we missed the past one-third of his life. I feel guilty for not being a better parent to him."

Greg put his newspaper down. "He made his choice, and he knew how we felt."

"I've been thinking about that and I don't believe he made a choice. Who would choose a lifestyle that will cause so much pain and prejudice? Especially not Luke. I've been doing some reading about it, and most experts agree it isn't something you choose or can change about yourself. It's who you are."

"I don't understand it, and I don't know how my son can be a queer. He certainly wasn't raised like that. The very thought of Luke going to bed with a man makes me ill."

"Greg, he's still our son and nothing will change that. You can deny it all you want, but he's our son. I think we should try and be better parents. It's not like he did anything wrong, he's a fine young man. If we don't, I'm afraid we will come to regret it."

"I can't just put this out of my mind, Linda, and pretend it doesn't exist. He's like an alien to me--I have no idea how he thinks, or what he thinks about. I don't even know how to talk or what to say to him. We have absolutely nothing in common."

"Except that you are his father. We owe it to Luke to at least make an effort. It won't kill us to try and understand him. There's a group of people like us that meets at the Unitarian Church; I think we should see what they have to say."

Greg asked, "What do you mean, 'people like us'?"

"Parents who have a gay child. It couldn't hurt to talk with them."

"Luke is hardly a child. I don't see what help it would be."

"We'll never know if we don't try. Please, Greg, let's not miss out on the rest of Luke's life. When I saw him last week, my heart broke. We never got the chance to watch him grow up."

"I'll think about it," said Greg as he left for his evening walk.

Linda was satisfied with her husband's response. She knew from experience that he would give the matter some thought, and she was relatively sure she could convince him to meet with the group. Many of her feelings and misgivings were the same as Greg's, but her maternal instinct was more powerful than her prejudices. She had no idea whether anything would make a difference, but she wasn't going to let go of her son without a fight. Linda and Greg had stopped going to their conservative church a number of years ago, and she found herself becoming more tolerant. She suspected Greg was, too, but he was often difficult to gauge emotionally. He was a stubborn man, and Luke was, too. That was a big part of why they were estranged. Linda didn't expect an epiphany, but she was hoping they could have a closer relationship with Luke.

On Friday after work, Luke and Jon went to The Inn for a couple of drinks and then left for Luke's. Jon noticed Luke seemed a little preoccupied, maybe even a bit nervous. Jon decided he'd wait and see if Luke said anything. Luke got a couple of bags from the trunk and they walked into the condo. As soon as they entered, Luke made Jon a drink and started scurrying about the kitchen.

"Need any help?" asked Jon.

"Nope, just relax and stay there. I have everything under control."

Jon heard some commotion, then a pan or something hit the floor. Luke was muttering to himself and there was more rattling of utensils. Luke emerged from the kitchen and went to the patio for a few minutes. When he returned he smiled at Jon.

"How's your drink? Can I freshen it for you?"

"It's fine, thanks. Why don't you sit and relax with me?"

"I will in a few minutes."

Luke went back to the kitchen and Jon heard more noise. This wasn't like Luke at all; he always worked in the kitchen like a well-oiled machine. Something was going on.

After ten minutes Jon asked, "Are you sure I can't help you?"

"No, I'm almost done. I'll be right there."

Five minutes later Luke sat next to Jon. Before Jon even had a chance to say anything, Luke grabbed his glass and headed back to the kitchen to make a fresh vodka tonic. When he returned, he had Jon's drink and a beer for himself in a pilsner glass. "That's a first," thought Jon. "He never uses a glass."

"Okay, what's up?" asked Jon. "You've been running around like the Energizer Bunny."

"I'm just glad it's Friday, and I'm glad we have the whole weekend together. I was feeling creative and I thought we'd have a nice dinner. I'll be right back."

Luke got a platter from the kitchen and went to the patio, then ran back to the kitchen. For the next 15 minutes Luke was dashing back and forth between the kitchen and patio. Jon was amazed at his stamina. "He must really be feeling better," thought Jon.

Luke leaned his head out of the kitchen. "Okay, bring your drink and come here."

Jon walked to the kitchen and just before he got there Luke dimmed the lights. There were two candles on the table and their plates were waiting. Luke had grilled filet mignon, there were baked potatoes and steamed mixed vegetables with a cream sauce, and a Caesar salad.

"What has gotten into you tonight, Luke? This is beautiful, but what's the deal?"

"You know I enjoy cooking for you. I felt like spending a relaxing evening with the man I love."

They ate their dinner and Luke brought out a bottle of red wine.

"Let's go to the living room," suggested Luke. "I'll take care of the dishes later."

They sat on the couch, neither talking. They were a little sleepy after dinner and they relaxed, sipping their wine. Luke put a hand on Jon's thigh and rose from the couch. He braced his hand on Jon's leg and knelt in front of him on one knee. Jon wondered whether Luke was having trouble standing. Luke looked into Jon's eyes and held his hand.

"Jon, will you marry me?"

Jon was stunned, and he didn't know what to say. Of course he'd marry Luke, but he didn't know what Luke was thinking.

"What do you mean? I already consider us married."

"I mean in front of our friends, a judge, and the whole world. I want us to be legally married."

Jon leaned forward and kissed Luke. "Nothing would make me happier."

Luke got up and sat beside Jon and looked at him. "You've made me a very happy man."

"Is this why you've been so wound-up tonight? Were you afraid I might turn you down?"

"No, but I never asked anyone to marry me before. I know we both feel we're already married, but this is the real deal; 'til death do us part and all. It's a lifelong legal commitment."

"I've already committed my life to you, but it would be great to make it legal. So what do you have in mind? I know you've thought this out and have plans."

"Let's see if we can get off work one day next week. We can drive to Iowa--Dubuque, probably--and get our marriage license. That's pretty much all we need to do until the wedding. The license doesn't expire, so we don't have to worry about that. But we will need to bring a witness."

"What about Paul or Joe? I'm sure they'd be happy to do it."

"I thought of them, but how would we choose? I think Cathy would be a more diplomatic choice--more like neutral ground."

Jon agreed. "That makes sense. Let's call her and see if she'll be able to go."

"Call tomorrow--she has a date tonight."

"Oh, that's right. I hope she has a good time. Cathy sure is a homebody for a gal as cute and personable as she is. Boy, you really have thought this whole thing out, haven't you?"

"Yes I have. I want us to be united forever. When do you want to have the ceremony? Now that we're gonna do it, I can't wait."

Jon thought for a minute. "Let's do it in the Fall when the leaves are turning. The drive between Rockford and Galena is awesome at that time of year. Maybe we can spend a couple of days at a B&B in Galena afterwards. It's only about 15 miles this side of Dubuque and it's a nice little town. A little touristy nowadays, but it's still nice."

"As long as we spend our wedding night in Iowa. I want us to be 'legal' for at least that night."

The two men continued to talk for another hour, then decided to celebrate their engagement in bed.

Saturday morning Luke got up before Jon and went to the bathroom, took two Vicodin and started the shower. By now he only needed the pain killers in the morning to help get himself going. He had tried cutting back to one pill, but he had built up a tolerance and one just didn't cut it. After showering, Luke went to the kitchen and began thinking about what to make for breakfast. Even though nothing had really changed, Luke found himself excited and eager to do something special for Jon. The fact that they were now officially engaged made everything seem more settled. He decided to make poached eggs and hash browns with onions, which he knew Jon would enjoy. After he got everything ready, he poured two glasses of orange juice and went back to the bedroom. Jon opened his eyes as Luke walked in.

Jon smiled at him. "Morning!"

"Hi. You sure have a big smile on your face this morning." Luke handed Jon the orange juice.

"Thanks. I don't think I've stopped smiling since last night. You were amazing!"

Luke smiled. "I just do what comes natural with the sexiest man I know. Come on, get up. I'm ready to make breakfast."

Jon got up, kissed Luke, and went into the bathroom. When Luke heard the shower stop he began cooking. Jon emerged from the bathroom wearing a pair of denim shorts and joined Luke in the kitchen. He poured a cup of coffee and watched Luke.

"It looks like you're back to normal in the kitchen. Last night I thought you were going to destroy the place."

"I guess I was a little nervous. Not nervous, really, just excited. I don't know why, it's not like it was a big deal or anything."

"I think it was a big deal. It's not every day the man of my dreams asks me to marry him."

"Well, I got tired of waiting for you to ask me, so I took the bull by the horns."

"I shoulda played hard to get. Maybe make you wait a day or two before I gave you my answer."

"You could never have pulled it off. I know you too well."

"You're right. When you proposed to me, I practically swooned. I'll never forget it--I'll never forget anything about last night."

"Me neither. I felt like I was asking someone on a date for the first time."

Luke handed Jon a plate and they sat at the table. Jon picked up the peppermill, then put it back down.

"Go ahead," said Luke. "Even if I do sneeze now, it's tolerable; not agony like before."

"I've been thinking about something," said Jon. "It's just an idea, but I really want to know what you think. I'm not even sure about it myself."

"What?"

"We spend almost all our time here at your place. How would you feel about me moving in here?"

"I'd love it. But what about your place--are you thinking of selling it? And what about all your furniture and stuff? It won't all fit in here."

"I thought about that. I don't want to sell right now, even if I could. I wouldn't get anywhere near what I paid. I was thinking of renting it out as furnished. All I'd need to move is my clothes and some personal stuff. With the rental income I should be able to cover the mortgage and assessments with a couple of hundred to spare each month."

"It sounds good to me, but that's assuming you can find decent tenants who aren't going to cause you a lot of grief or trash the place. That might not be so easy."

"I know, that'll be the biggest challenge. But I could show it to prospective renters as it is now, and if I find someone I'm comfortable with, it would only take a couple of days to get it ready."

"It's okay with me," said Luke. "I'd love us to be living together--we practically are now, anyway. Do you want to go downtown tonight? I kinda feel like staying here. Maybe go to The Inn with Joe, Paul and Cathy if they're free."

"Sure, it feels a little like a lazy day today, so that would be nice and we won't have to worry about driving back home."

Cathy, Paul and Joe arrived at The Inn first and found a table. A waitress soon greeted them and they placed their orders.

"This is pathetic," said Cathy. "Saturday night, and none of us has a date. Not that I have a date every Saturday, anyway."

Paul said, "You were on a date last night. How'd it go?"

"I should have known better than to go out with a guy from accounting. The guy has a mind like a cash register--he commented on the cost of everything from the movie tickets to the dessert. Not the most romantic date I've had."

Jon and Luke walked in and joined their friends. The waitress promptly brought their usual drinks without bothering to ask what they wanted--the two never varied.

Jon asked, "How'd your date go, Cathy?"

"Don't ask. It was very forgettable."

Joe said, "Well, that means the next guy you date can only be better."

Paul glanced at Joe and wondered whether or not Joe would get up the courage to ask Cathy out. He hoped he would, but he knew there was nothing he could do except maybe encourage Joe a little. The more Paul thought about it, the more he thought they'd make a good couple if it's true that opposites attract. Cathy was outgoing, gregarious and had no trouble talking to anyone, whereas Joe was reserved, quiet and shy. Cathy stood about five-foot-two and was petite; Joe was five-eleven and trim, but very well developed and muscular. Paul wondered how they could make love without Joe smothering her.

"Why aren't you two going to the city tonight," asked Cathy.

Jon said, "We had enough excitement last night."

Cathy smiled. "Dare I ask?"

"Luke surprised me with a wonderful candlelight dinner. We had some wine afterwards and just relaxed. It was very romantic."

"That's nice," said Cathy. "But what was the excitement about?"

Jon smiled at Luke. "This wonderful guy got down on his knee and proposed to me!"

"Oh, how sweet!" said Cathy. "I don't mean to sound ignorant, but why?"

Luke answered, "Because we're actually going to get married--legally. Sometime in the Fall, we haven't set a date yet. We're going to Iowa to do it--they just legalized marriage for gay couples."

Paul got the server's attention. "This certainly calls for another round. Congratulations, guys. Even though we know you're already as good as married, this is exciting."

"We think so, too," said Jon. "I've never been more sure of anything in my life. When I look back at the past several years before I met Luke, I realize I was just existing. Now I have something and someone to live for. I've never been happier."

"I'll second that," said Luke. "Jon made me realize who I am--I'm a man who's in love with the most wonderful person I've ever met. And all he did was love me and be himself."

Cathy said, "Oh, that's so beautiful, you guys. You're going to make me cry. Are your parents going to come?"

"We haven't told them yet," said Luke. "Jon's probably will, but I doubt mine would. I'm not even sure I want to tell them."

"You have to at least tell them," said Paul. "They'll find out at some point, so you might as well be up-front about it and proud."

"Maybe you're right, but I know they won't have anything to do with it. They'd sooner participate in devil worship."

Cathy said, "Luke, just tell them. Be the bigger man about it, and once you do you'll have a clear conscience. Then they can decide how they want to deal with it. At least you'll know you did your part."

"You're right, Cathy. But I'm going to wait until we have things more finalized as far as the date and everything. If they think there's still a chance, they'll probably try to get me into reparative therapy again."

"Did you go through that bullshit?" asked Jon.

"No, but they suggested it a few times. They really believed that crap. They're not stupid, but people in their church were telling them what they wanted to hear--that their son could be a normal person with the right help. God, I can't imagine how something like that would have fucked me up."

"I hate to even think about it. Okay," said Jon, "Cathy, do you think you can take a day off next week? We want to get our marriage license and we need a witness. Friday would be great--once we get that done, we can sightsee and maybe spend the night at my parents' house. That way we won't be driving six or seven hours all in one day."

"I can take a personal day," answered Cathy. "That sounds like fun. I'd like to see your folks again."

"I don't know," said Luke. "I've never met your parents and I would feel awkward sleeping in their house. What if they don't like me?"

"I guarantee that won't happen," said Jon. "They'll love you because you're you, and they'll know I love you. Don't worry about a thing."

"Jon's right," added Cathy. "His parents are very cool, and easy to talk to and be with. You'll love them. And I'll be there, so that'll take some of the pressure off you. I know you'll be nervous at first, but you'll feel right at home in no time."

Luke was uneasy about all this, but he knew he had to go through with it for Jon's sake. After all, he was about to become a member of Jon's family. That realization was starting to sink in--until now he had been thinking only in terms of himself and Jon. The idea that he was getting another set of parents with the deal was intimidating; parents in general made Luke uncomfortable. Ever since he was a teenager he disliked having to interact with his friends' parents because he subconsciously put them in the same class with his own. As far as Luke was concerned there was no reason to involve anyone else, but he knew Jon didn't feel that way and neither did most people. As distasteful as he found it, Luke would do his best to make a good impression on Jon's parents and he hoped they would all get along together.

Sunday morning Jon and Luke awoke at 8:30 and remained in bed for another half-hour, just holding each other, kissing and talking a little. After showering and dressing, Luke started the coffee and mixed pancake batter. As he ladled the batter into the pan, he looked up when Jon walked in and smiled at him. Jon poured coffee and gave Luke a cup, then sat at the table. Lure realized he'd put too much batter in the pan--it took up almost half the room. Luke shrugged and ladled two more smaller portions to make a large Mickey Mouse pancake. He knew he wouldn't be able to turn the large pancake with a spatula, so he shook the pan to loosen it and flipped it. It worked perfectly and Luke smiled to himself--he hadn't lost his knack. When it was done he slid it onto a plate and drew a face with maple syrup, then set it in front of Jon.

Jon laughed. "I haven't seen one of these since I was five! You're a nut, you know that?"

"What's wrong with being a kid once in a while? Maybe later I'll show you my secret recipe for mud pies."

Luke returned to the stove and finished making pancakes, then sat with Jon.

"I'm going to call my folks this morning to let them know we're going to visit. Do you think I should tell them we're engaged, or wait until we get there?"

"I don't know, whatever you think is best. But maybe we should wait until after I meet them. What if they don't approve of me?"

"Are you crazy? I know my parents, and they'll love you. You'll like them, too. My dad's into restoring cars and you like that kind of stuff, so you two will have something to talk about. He's probably working on some kind of car now. He loves to do mechanical and body work, then he sells the car and starts another one. You should see his garage--he has every tool and gadget you can think of."

"That sounds interesting. I'd like to see his setup."

"You will. You'll both probably spend all your time in the garage. If my dad isn't in the garage all weekend, he's in the garden. I'm going to call and get that taken care of."

Jon went into the living room to call his parents. "Hi, mom. How are you and dad?"

"Jon! It's so good to hear from you! We're fine; I was just thinking about you. How is everything?"

"Couldn't be better. Everything's great! Luke is still nursing his broken ribs, but he's coming along."

"Broken ribs? How'd he do that?"

Jon realized it had been longer than he thought since he'd last spoken to his mother.

"It's a long story, I'll tell you all about it later. How's Dad?"

"He's good. He's working on another car, a Corvair I think it is. That damn car sees him more than I do. By the way, I've tried calling you but you never answer your phone."

"That's because I'm usually at Luke's. Call my cell phone, you can always reach me that way."

"I don't like to use up your minutes."

"Don't worry about it, I never use them all anyway. Mom, Luke and Cathy and I need to go to Dubuque next Friday to take care of some business, and I thought we could stop by on our way back to see you and dad."

"That would be wonderful! We'd love to have you. Plan on coming for dinner and if you want you can spend the night. That's a lot of driving in one day."

"That's what I was hoping for; I'm glad you asked before I had to."

"Don't be silly. You and your friends are always welcome."

"That's another thing, mom. Luke and I are...well, we're more than friends."

"I thought so. Whenever you've mentioned him, there's always that something in your voice. A mother picks up on those things."

"You'll love him, mom. I can't wait for you and dad to meet him. We'll plan on seeing you sometime in the afternoon on Friday. Is that okay?"

"Sure, that's perfect. We'll be expecting you."

"Thanks, mom. We'll see you then."

"Okay, dear. Bye."

Jon turned to Luke. "Well, that's all set. We'll have dinner and spend the night with my parents. I'm starting to get excited about it--we'll have a good time."

Luke still had reservations, but Jon was happy and looking forward to the trip, so that was good enough for him. He prayed he'd make a good impression.

Thursday evening Jon was watching TV when he realized Luke had been in the bedroom for some time. He got up to go to the john, then went to the bedroom. Luke was polishing a pair of dress shoes and had three pairs of dress pants and four shirts laid out on the bed.

"What are you doing?" asked Jon.

"I'm trying to decide what to wear tomorrow."

Jon smiled and kissed Luke on his forehead. "City boy," he said.

Jon looked in the closet and took out a pair of Levi's that were almost new and placed them on the bed. He looked at the shirts Luke had brought out and put one on top of the jeans, then selected another from the closet. Finally he found Luke's Wolverine hiking boots and pulled them out.

"There--you're all set. Put everything else back."

"Jon, are you sure? I don't want to feel under-dressed."

"Trust me, you won't. You'll fit right in."

When they went to bed, Jon lay on his stomach, facing Luke with his right arm over Luke's chest.

"I can't wait until tomorrow," said Jon. "We'll only be one step away from being married. Are you getting nervous?"

"No. Not about getting married, anyway. I know that's what we both want more than anything. We should celebrate tonight, since we won't be able to tomorrow night."

"Why not?"

"First, we don't know if we'll even be in the same room. Second, I'm not going to have sex with you when your parents are right there. And third, you make too much noise anyway."

"Maybe we can figure something out. In the meantime, just in case we don't..."

The next morning Jon got up and packed their extra clothes and toiletries in a small overnight bag. He started the coffee, took a quick shower and got dressed. Cathy was expecting them for breakfast, then they'd leave from there for Dubuque. Jon looked at Luke for a minute before kissing him. Luke opened his eyes and couldn't help smiling at Jon..

Luke said, "You look so cute. What did you do different?"

"Nothing that I can think of. Why?"

"I don't know, maybe it's because you're my finacee now."

"Your fiancee is not cute. Stunningly handsome, maybe, but not cute. I made coffee, so let's get going and over to Cathy's--I'm hungry. Do you want your pills?"

"I'll get them. I think we should take my car; Cathy likes to drive it, so maybe she'll do all the chauffeuring, or at least some of it. How long is it gonna take us to get there?"

"About three hours. It's the tollway all the way to Rockford, then Route 20 the rest of the way. Route 20 will be fun for Cathy--it gets real hilly with lots of curves the closer we get to the Mississippi River."

Luke got up and headed for the bathroom. "She should like that. Call and tell her we'll be there in about 30 minutes."

Luke stepped into the shower and began to lather himself. He was excited about what they were about to do, but he was nervous, too. The gravity of what they were planning began to hit him. Jon was the only man he had ever loved--he had never even dated other men. How could he be sure this was the man he wanted to spend the rest of his life with? Either of them could walk away right now, but once they were actually married it was a whole different matter. Luke knew he loved Jon, but how would he feel a year from now, or five years from now? What if one of them met someone else? How does anyone know if they're marrying the right person?

Luke stepped out of the shower and dried himself off, then went to the bedroom and dressed. When he went into the living room Jon was putting their razors and toothbrushes into the overnight bag.

"I knew you wouldn't remember this stuff. I think we have everything we'll need now."

Luke went to Jon and put his arms around him, his head resting on Jon's shoulder. They were still for a couple of minutes, then Luke kissed Jon's cheek. He couldn't imagine loving anyone but Jon, and his previous uncertainty vanished. He kissed Jon again.

"What's on your mind?" asked Jon.

"How much I love you. I can't even describe it, it gets stronger every day. "

"You don't have to describe it, because I know exactly how you feel."

Luke and Jon got into the car and headed for Cathy's, where they had breakfast and then talked while they finished their coffee. At 9:30 they got into Luke's car with Cathy behind the wheel and Jon in the back seat. As she accelerated onto the tollway she took the car through its paces. She was only in third gear and realized she was already well over the speed limit, so she eased up on the gas and up-shifted directly to overdrive.

Jon said, "Okay, Maria Andretti, we're not trying to break the land speed record."

Cathy smiled. "If I had this car, the speeding tickets would kill me. Are you comfortable back there, Jon? "

"I'm all right, it's not too bad with only me back here."

They had been on the road for about an hour when Jon's phone rang.

"Hello?" It was Jon's mother.

"Hi, Jon. Thank heavens I got you; I just had a disturbing thought."

"What's that, mom?"

"Is Luke Jewish?"

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