"Maybe I'm finally coming to my senses," he thought. "It's about time. If I keep waiting for Luke, I'll be an old man, all alone."

The Inn - Chapter 4

Fall gave way to winter, and the days grew shorter. After the Christmas and New Year holidays, life slowly returned to normal. This being the dead of winter in the Midwest, the days were overcast more often than not which only seemed to lengthen an already-long season.

March finally rolled around, and the air hinted at the better weather to come.

A week before St. Patrick's Day, Jon and Joe went over to Paul's place where they had a few beers and watched a basketball game on TV.

Joe said, "Hey, what are you guys doing next Saturday?"

"Nothing special," answered Paul, and Jon shook his head.

"How about we go into Chicago for the St. Patrick's Day Parade? We can take the train; that way we can drink ourselves silly on green beer."

"Sounds like a plan," Paul said, and Jon agreed. Paul got up and went to his computer to check the train schedule. He returned a few minutes later.

"There's a 9:30 express that'll get us there about 10:15. That's a little early, but I'm sure we could find something to do. Or there's a "milk train" at 10:30 that gets in a little before noon. That's cutting it a bit close."

"What about coming back?" asked Joe

"I didn't check, but the trains run every hour or two on the weekends so we can just see how we feel at the time. It doesn't matter what time we get back."

Jon asked, "How we gonna get to the train station?"

Joe thought for a moment. "Well, it probably wouldn't be wise to drive since we'll be pretty toasted when we get back. We could walk, it's only a couple of miles, then grab a cab when we get back. We probably won't be in shape to walk at that point."

"Works for me," Paul said. "As long as I get to see them dye the river green. Did you guys know that the dye they use is actually, like, fluorescent orange? It turns green when it hits the water."

"I wonder if that's a good thing or a bad thing," mused Joe.

"Dunno. Hey, let's give Luke a call and see if he wants to join us."

"Sure, why not?" said Jon sarcastically. "For all the good it'll do. If you need to burn some cell minutes, knock yourself out."

Paul punched some numbers into his phone and waited. After a few seconds he looked at his phone's display. "Shit! I shoulda never switched carriers. Ever since I did, I have to go outside to make a call." Paul rose to go out to the courtyard.

"Ten bucks says he won't go," said Jon.

"The only way I'd take that bet is if you give me 100 to 1 odds."

Paul returned, smiling, and shouted, "Praise the Lord! Luke is risen! He's actually going to grace us with his presence!"

"Hey, that's great! Like old times," Joe enthused.

"Maybe," said Jon warily. "Will the Ball and Chain be joining us, too?"

"Oh crap! I didn't ask. Not much we can do about it now except maybe come down with a case of ptomaine at the last minute."

"That might be preferable," said Jon.

Thursday after work the four of them met at The Inn to finalize their plans. Jon noticed that Luke seemed quiet and just a little listless.

"You feeling okay, Luke? You look a little tired," inquired Jon.

"I'm fine. Probably just from being cooped up all winter, plus I was laid off for four weeks, so I'm just now getting back in the work habit."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know. Why didn't you call?" asked Jon.

"No big deal, it happens most winters so I save up in advance. I've gone through longer layoffs than that."

Paul interrupted: "Hey, Luke, I forgot to ask if Molly is coming."

"Uh, no, she's got some other plans."

"Gee, that's too bad," said Paul. Jon thought Paul's response sounded surprisingly sincere. No one asked for details and Luke didn't elaborate.

They decided they'd all meet at Luke's around 7:30 since it was closest to their destination. That would give them enough time for bloodys before heading out and catching the 9:30 train. That being settled, they ordered more drinks and gabbed, filling Luke in on any gossip he'd missed. Jon had to force himself not to stare at Luke, and it was an effort.

Finally Joe spoke up. "Let's play some bags. It can be me and Paul against Luke and Jon."

They all agreed and headed to the patio, Joe stopping to get the beanbags from the bartender. Jon thought it was an excellent idea, and the fact he was playing with Luke made him even happier. Jon made a conscious effort to concentrate on his game, and it paid off. He and Luke were unstoppable.

In the back of his mind, Jon knew he was getting a buzz. But he was having such a good time with the guys, especially since Luke was there, so he ignored it. Joe brought another round and they decided to have one more game. This time Paul and Joe won. They retrieved the beanbags and went back inside. The evenings were still a bit chilly to sit outside.

Luke went to the bar and ordered a round. He felt obligated since he'd been out of touch for so long. Jon was drinking vodka tonics and the rest had Lite beers. The others thanked Luke, then they went back to discussing what they wanted to do when they went Downtown on Saturday.

After another half-hour Paul and Joe downed their beers and announced they were taking off. They said their good nights and walked out. Jon was really feeling the effects of his drinks, but he wasn't sure why. He hadn't had that many more than usual. He looked across the room and saw Sam was the bartender. Sam had a very heavy hand, and his drinks were almost lethal. That explained the buzz, but by now Jon didn't care. He was feeling great.

"So you just holed up all winter with what's-'er-name?" Jon asked.

Luke noticed Jon was slurring his words just a little. "Molly. Pretty much. I tend to stay home during the winter. I always have, for some reason. Maybe my mother was scared by a bear or something."

Jon laughed at that, somewhat louder than it called for. He raised his glass and finished the last of his drink.

Luke said, "We should go. We both have to go to work tomorrow."

"No, man, let's have one more. Please?" Jon protested. "I've hardly seen you in months. Come on."

Against his better judgment Luke acquiesced and went to get two more drinks. He sat back down at the table and Jon was staring at him. Jon took a long sip of his drink.

"Ya know, Luke, you're my best friend. You really are. You're my best friend in the whole world."

Luke noticed Jon's eyes were somewhat glazed. He smiled. "That's the booze talking."

"No it's not," said Jon defensively. It came out more like "no it snot."

"You're my good friend, too. We should be going, Jon."

"Really? Am I really your best friend? Your bestest friend in the world?" Luke realized Jon was a lot more polluted than he'd thought.

"Sure, Jon, sure. Now come on and let's go. We've both had enough to drink."

Jon stared at Luke for a long moment. Finally he simply said, "Okay" in a rather upbeat way.

They stood up. Jon took one step and if Luke hadn't grabbed him he'd have done a nosedive.

"Whoa, dude, easy there. You okay?"

Jon turned to Luke, tried to focus, nodded and said, "Yup."

"Right. Not so much. Let's go."

Luke escorted Jon outside and they walked toward the street.

"Wait a minum, my car's over there." Jon made a sweeping gesture in the general direction of the parking lot.

"Your car is staying here and you're going home with me. Come on. You cannot drive right now."

"Can I drive later?" Jon pleaded, sounding like a little kid promising to be good.

"We'll see."

They headed toward Luke's, their arms over each other's shoulders. After about 100 feet Jon leaned his head against Luke's shoulder.

"Are you gonna take advantage of me, Luke? Cuz if you want to, you can."

Luke smiled. "Don't worry. Everything's going to be fine."

They finally made it to Luke's. Even though it was only a block, Luke figured they'd walked at least two, taking into account Jon's weaving. Luke steered Jon through the door and to the couch. He then went into the bathroom and returned with a glass of water and two aspirin.

"Wass that?" Jon asked.

"Aspirin. Take it."

Jon took the aspirin without complaining and drained the glass. "Oh shit! That was water! I thought it was vod (hick) ka." Jon laughed heartily at his own joke. Luke just shook his head.

"You sit here and rest. Lie down if you want. I'm going to catch up on my bills and stuff."

"Okey doke."

Luke put on some quiet jazz and sat down at his computer. He went through his email methodically, tapping out replies to some and paying a couple of bills with electronic transfers. He knew he could save himself the trouble by using auto pay, but he didn't like the idea of not having complete control over his money. It was silly, but that's the way he felt. When he was done he looked over his shoulder at Jon, who had his head more or less on the arm of the couch with his feet on the floor. Luke decided he should do something or Jon would wake up with a very stiff neck.

Luke went to the bedroom and found a spare pillow and blanket. He returned to the living room and swung Jon's legs up and onto the couch, then put his arms under Jon and scooted him further down so his head wasn't on the arm. He removed Jon's shoes and covered him with the blanket. Then Luke put the pillow under his head.

As he stood up and stepped back he looked at Jon. He sighed, turned off the lights and music, and headed for his bedroom. He planned on calling in sick the next day and he was pretty sure Jon would also. He couldn't remember the last time he'd done that.

The alarm went off at six and Luke slammed his hand to silence it almost immediately. He remained still for about ten seconds, then swung out of bed. After making his call to his supervisor and taking care of things in the bathroom, he walked out to the living room. Jon was still in the same position he'd left him. Luke gently shook his shoulder.

"Rise and shine, you old wino." Jon's eyes opened and he smiled. What he wouldn't give to wake up with Luke every morning.

"And how's my star boarder this morning?"

"Better than I probably should be."

"That's because I made you take some aspirin."

"I remember. And you tried to poison me with water."

"Guilty as charged. I called in sick today. Do you want to do that, too?"

Jon thought for a minute. "Yeah, I think I can. Nothing major is happening. We can play hookey together." He pulled out his phone and made the call.

"How about something to eat? You up to that?"

"Just some coffee, maybe toast or a roll if you've got it. I'll help."

Luke said, "Don't bother, just relax and I'll be right back."

Jon stood and headed to the bathroom, stopped and asked, "Would you happen to have an extra toothbrush? My mouth feels like an army has been practicing maneuvers through it."

"Look in the top drawer on the right. There should be a couple."

As Jon was brushing his teeth a thought occurred to him. He glanced around the bathroom and the shower. Then he peeked in a few drawers. Nothing feminine at all. If Molly was living here before, she sure isn't now.

Jon returned to the living room, folded the blanket and placed it on a chair with the pillow. Luke came out with two steaming cups of coffee and went back to the kitchen, then returned with two huge cinnamon rolls.

"Mm, that's what I smell," Jon smiled.

"I forgot I had them; they were in the freezer. They're from Ann Sather's.

"These are the best!" opined Jon as he bit into a warm cinnamon roll. "When were you in the city?"

"Last week. I try to make it once or twice a month, especially in the summer. I still have friends there so we go to dinner, or one of the museums or whatever. I love Chicago. This is about as far away from Downtown as I think I'd want to live."

"Where did you live when you were there?"

"North side. On Newport, between Halsted and Clark," Luke answered between bites of his roll.

Jon found this information more than just a little interesting. Ann Sather's Restaurant is very well known and loved in the gay community. Also, the location where Luke said he had lived is right in the middle of Boystown, Chicago's largest predominantly gay neighborhood. If Luke wasn't gay himself, it sure didn't seem he had a problem with gays. Jon didn't know what to think, but decided he'd mull it over for a while.

Luke refilled their coffees and sat on the couch next to Jon.

Jon spoke up. "So what are we two truants going to do today?"

"Hey, can we get a canoe, maybe have lunch on the lake?"

"The boathouse isn't open yet. Not until Memorial Day."

"Oh."

"We could go to the mall. I don't really need anything but we could window-shop."

"Okay, but the stores won't be open for a couple of hours," Luke pointed out. "Let's just kick back and do nothing for a while."

They both leaned back, put their feet on the coffee table and vegged for a while. Finally Jon broke the silence.

"I take it Molly doesn't live here any more."

"No, she never did but it sure seemed like it sometimes."

"Did you like her?" Jon asked.

"Not particularly. We met at a party and she latched on to me. I went along with it for a while because she was kind of fragile, and I didn't want to hurt her feelings. But as time went on I could feel the noose tightening; she was getting way too serious. So, I told her things weren't working out and that was that. There were a few tears, but she took it better than I thought she would."

The room became quiet again, each of them lost in his own thoughts.

"Luke, why'd you move out of the city to here?"

"Oh, a bunch of reasons. Actually, I grew up not far from here. When I was twenty-five I'd saved enough to get my own place. I wanted to get out of the sticks and experience the big, bad City. It was great, and I loved it. Party half the night and all of Saturday and Sunday. Too much booze, too much pot, not to mention heavier stuff on occasion. I loved every minute of it. But eventually it starts to catch up with you. I knew I couldn't stop with the temptation all around me, so I moved back here--to this area, I mean. I figured if I didn't, I'd wind up drinking cheap wine out of a paper bag in an alley. And I'm only half kidding about that. So--here I am."

They were quiet for a minute, then Jon asked, "Do you miss it?"

"Sure I miss it. That's why I visit as often as I do. But I won't move back. If I did I'd be right back into it. And I don't miss the hangovers and foggy consciousness 24 hours a day. It didn't mix well with work."

There was a long period of silence. Jon wanted to tell Luke how he felt about him, but he was afraid. He still didn't know for certain whether or not Luke was gay. Living in a gay neighborhood might be one thing, but having a gay man in his home could be altogether different. He felt maybe he should leave well enough alone. But...

Finally Jon said, "Luke, remember last night?"

Luke looked at him with a crooked smile. "The question should be, do YOU remember last night?"

Jon sighed. "Yes, I do. I remember everything we did, and I remember everything I said." Jon took a deep breath and swallowed. "That includes what I said to you when we were walking." He took another deep breath and quietly added, "And I meant it."

Jon waited to hear Luke's reaction. Nothing. "Oh, God, what have I done?" he thought. "He hates me. I crossed the line and I've lost my best friend. Why didn't I keep my fucking mouth shut? He's gonna kick me out. Well if he does, he's going to know exactly why. I might as well finish burying myself."

"Luke?"

Luke turned to face Jon. Jesus, Jon thought, he was beautiful. Luke didn't speak, only raised an eyebrow.

"Luke, I'm gay." Jon was shaking.

"I know. I've known for a while now."

"You have? How?"

"Well, not because you look or act gay, you don't. But you can't live where I've lived without developing a keen sense of gaydar. I think it's a survival mechanism or something."

Jon felt as if the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders. "I thought maybe you were going to punch me, or throw me out, or both."

"Give me a little credit, Jon. You know I'm not that type of person."

"I know," answered Jon, and a tear rolled down his cheek. He quickly brushed it away.

Luke said, "Come here, you doofus." He wrapped his arms around Jon and Jon put his arms around Luke's neck. That's when the floodgates opened and Jon shed tears of joy and relief.

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