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Part 2
Chris could not sleep, he tossed fitfully in his bed. He reached for his phone on the bed stand and checked Instagram for the hundredth time that evening. He was not sure what he was expecting; a sordid post from Nicky that was essentially an expose. Would Nicky tell everyone about him? There was no proof, but Nicky never really needed proof to get everyone to believe, he could even claim that he had sucked some other random guy's dick and safeguard himself. He considered ditching school the next morning, it seemed like the safer option. What would he do if his parents found out? Would they kick him out? Chris constantly replayed these troubling thoughts in his mind over and over again.
Chris walked to school alone the next morning, he purposefully waited an extra fifteen minutes to avoid walking with his friends, Nicky in particular. The bags under his eyes were prominent from last night's lack of sleep, his hair was dishevelled and he had only realised after it was too late. He looked like a hot mess.
Everyone was already in class and he found himself entering just as his English teacher himself entered. He kept his head low and walked straight to his seat. He looked up nervously; nobody was looking at him. He greeted his friends Tevin and Rodney, who were seated on either side of him, they both greeted him back. Nothing appeared to be amiss, maybe the world wasn't ending after all. Chris let his shoulders relax and he let out the biggest sign of relief.
Chris found himself still struggling to focus during his English class, his mind kept drifting to Nicky. He was started to feel even more nervous as the class ended and he made his way to his Math class. He sat next to Nicky in Math.
Math was thought by the tall grey haired and exceptionally stern Mr Halwig. His class was in fact a small auditorium of just five rows of seats, separated by an aisle in the centre and one on either end of the seats. He sat next to Nicky at the very top row. The auditorium seating was one long bench and a long desk, which could be shared by five people. As Chris made his way to his seat, he found Nicky already seated there.
"Hey kid, you were late this morning."
"Yeah, I didn't get much sleep." Chris answered, he still hadn't met Nicky's eyes and was trying his best to look everywhere else than to meet Nicky's concerned look. Then it dawned on Chris, he did look concerned. Chris finally looked up at Nicky, there was no wry grin, his forehead was creased and his eyebrows raised slightly. Chris signed.
"We need to talk."
"Now? You want to talk during Math?"
"I'm worried Nicky, I'm just... I can't ..." Chris trailed off, he found himself lost for words, there was so many questions he wanted to ask Nicky.
"Chris relax, please." Nicky touched Chris on the shoulder lightly and turned him so that his level gaze met the worried look plastered across Chris.
"You have nothing to worry about Chris, just drop it for now please, we will talk after school."
Chris finally managed a small smile and then got out his books and stationary for the class. He found himself struggling to pay attention to the class. His gaze often drifted out of the window. Did he actually completely trust Nicky? Everything seemed to be ok at the surface but he still could not help the hopeless feeling in the pit of his stomach.
Chris felt something swat him across the back of his head and then the class erupted in laughter. Nicky had just swatted his head and Chris found Mr Halwig and the entire class looking back at him.
"If you are finished daydreaming Chris, the rest of your classmates did not find an answer to yesterday's homework, what is the limit of e to the power x?"
Fuck! Chris was so busy worrying about Nicky last night that he had completely forgot to do any homework. He racked him brain trying to remember what he could about limits but his mind was blank.
"I'm sorry sir, I did not finish the homework."
Mr Halwig looked puzzled; "Come see me after class Chris."
Chris sunk down in his seat, he was digging himself even further down this rabbit hole. Chris tried to concentrate for the rest of the class but his mind kept drifting. He could feel Mr Halwig's gaze on him more frequently now and he was sure Mr Halwig shook at his head at him in disapproval more than once.
Chris took his time packing his bag as the students filtered out of the auditorium at the end of class. Nicky was the last one left, he gave Chris a worried glance and slid off the bench and made his way out of the class. Mr Halwig was busy looking at some papers on his desk and hadn't yet paid any attention to Chris. Chris gingerly made his way down the steps towards Mr Halwig.
"Sir?" Chris said gingerly.
Mr Halwig signed and looked up at Chris with a worried frown creasing his forehead.
"Chris, is there anything you would like to discuss."
Chris looked away from Mr Halwig's intense stare.
"No sir."
"Should I be concerned about this recent lack of interest with your studies."
"No sir, I was just distracted today, but there's nothing to be concerned about."
"Chris, I know what it is like to want to fit in with the other kids. I know I may seem like a living fossil now..." Chris gasped and laughed at Mr Halwig's candidness. "... but I was young once too."
"Finals are over so you can let your hair down, I marked the Math final exams last night and unsurprisingly you were top of your class. You certainly will not maintain that if you continue to skip your homework like this, I have never seen you so distracted in class before. I do not think you heard a word I said."
Chris beamed over the good news that he had filtered from Mr Halwig's lecture.
"There is no need to worry sir, I promise I will be on top form next year."
"Very well, the company you keep certainly does not help. None of those boys prioritise their studies. I do not understand why you have never been able to be friends with the other `A' students."
Chris knew he was referring to Nicky in particular who had always been atrocious in Math, Rodney and Tevin were not far off either.
"I am happy with my friends' sir, if anything, they would probably all be failing if I was not there to coax them into studying." That much was true, it was an uphill battle Chris was all too familiar with, trying to get them to spend less time worrying about scoring beers and joints and more time focusing on school.
Mr Halwig's stern glare never wavered. "I will not tell you who to be friends with Chris, just be wary. You may go." He turned back to his papers.
Chris laughed internally as he made his way out of the class, Mr Halwig would almost certainly pick his friends for him if he could. As Chris stepped out of the class, he almost ran over Nicky. Nicky gripped Chris by his shoulders to steady him. Then he pulled him by his hand around the building to the back of classrooms.
"What did he say? Are you in trouble? Detention? Why didn't you do the homework? You always do your homework, even I did it." Nicky looked exasperated as he flooded him with questions. Chris smiled and gave him a moment to catch his breath before he answered.
"It's fine, Mr Halwig just wanted to know if everything is fine, if I am fine and yeah he also wanted to know why I had not done my homework, it seems like the world is ending because of it." Chris rolled his eyes.
Nicky narrowed his dark brown eyes at Chris.
"Are you fine? You didn't tell him about..." he trailed off.
Chris laughed and smacked Nicky on his head lightly.
"Of course not, how would that conversation even begin."
Nicky signed; "well, why have you been so distracted?"
Chris rolled his eyes; "you know why Nicky." Chris looked away from Nicky, he felt that familiar shame creep into him just as it did after he sucked Nicky's dick.
"Fuck Chris, you were actually worried that I would tell everyone? Chris I would never do that."
"I'm not so sure." Chris muttered and cast his eyes to the floor again. Nicky stepped closer to him and gripped both his shoulders. Chris gingerly looked up at Nicky to find a look he did not think he had seen on Nicky's beautiful face before. Nicky looked hurt, his eyes actually seemed sad.
"Chris, I would never tell. I can't believe that's what you think of me. I mean, apart from the obvious social suicide, well more importantly, you're my best mate right? I would not do that to you. Look, what happened with Mel..." Nicky signed heavily.
"... You know how it is with the guys, I guess you do things for clout. Believe me, I regret telling everyone, what I did to Mel was fucked up. I regret what I did with Mel, I manipulated her and that was wrong too. Fuck, I should probably apologise to her."
Chris felt his stomach drop, it made him feel sick. He stepped away from Chris and leaned against the wall.
"So do you... do you regret what we did?"
Nicky frowned as he looked at Chris. He leaned against the wall and sagged a little until their shoulders touched. Nicky closed his eyes and tipped his head back to rest against the wall.
"Fuck, I don't know kid. It's all confusing and fucked up and you know when things get fucked up then I just don't want to think about them. That's what I did last night, I just pushed the thoughts away. I guess you didn't though. You could have just called me; we could have talked about it."
"How was I supposed to do that Nicky? After we... you just left and then you never said a word."
Nicky sprang up from his position and stepped in front of Chris. The taller boy towered over the short one.
"Chris, it was confusing. I didn't know what to say. Yes, it felt good. It also felt wrong, and that's not something I would have wanted to tell you after what you did for me. It's just confusing, you have to at least let me have that."
Chris had nothing to say to that, he cast his eyes to the floor again feeling dejected. Nicky slapped Chris on the chest playfully, that familiar smirk crept onto his face.
"Please don't mope and be all sad now, we're good right. Just say we're good. Let's just pretend like nothing happened and go back to how things were."
Chris pushed Nicky away and started to walk away; "I can't just forget Nicky." He said over his shoulder irritably.
He felt Nicky grab his hand and pull him back to him. Nicky was leaning against the wall, his legs bent slightly and he had pulled Chris to stand between his spread bent legs, their bodies millimetres apart.
"Don't you ever walk away from me." Nicky breathed hoarsely. His face was stern and he held both of Chris' arms firmly. "You can... you can touch me, wherever you want. That's the trade I'm offering you. Touch me wherever you want and you promise me that we will still be friends while we figure out this mess we are in."
Chris smiled as he looked up at Nicky. Nicky was giving him permission to touch him anywhere; Chris was sure there was nothing in the world he wanted more than that.
"Yeah." Chris mouthed heavily into Nicky's ear as he slid his hand down Nicky's shirt, past his belt and gripped the ample mound in Nicky's pants. He felt the package stir in his hands immediately as he squeezed the heavy package.
"Like this?" Chris asked as he stared into Nicky's dark intense eyes. Nicky merely nodded. Chris withdrew his hand and signed. He let his forehead rest against Nicky's chest and then slowly his hands made their way around the small of Nicky's back as he pulled him into a tight hug.
It seemed an eternity later, but Nicky signed and let his cheek rest against Chris' spiky hair as Nicky allowed his own arms to encircle Chris just as tightly.
"You'll be the death of me kid."
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