The Journey of a Lonely Heart, Part 4 by DGB
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Monday morning didn't seem so bad to Derek for once. He woke up a minute before his alarm, traffic seemed light, and even the Starbuck's line was short. Trevor texted him good morning as he pulled up to the office, putting the day into strong contention for the best Monday ever.
Derek settled into his office to review the notes he had made on Friday. The donor dinner had resulted in more leads than he could reasonably follow up on this week, but he wanted to capitalize on the momentum as much as possible. He wondered if he could get some help checking names against a list of past donation levels to help prioritize who to talk with first.
Robyn turned out to be much more efficient than any computer could have been. "I've been the executive director for almost a decade now, but before that I was in charge of fundraising for five years. I can tell you which names are good to follow up with," she explained. "I should also warn you of a few that always talk a good game but never donate."
The two spent the next hour together going through the list. Robyn ended up taking on responsibility to follow up for a few of the long term donors she had a strong relationship with. Derek saved a final version of the notes and emailed a copy over to Robyn.
"I've got something a bit more private I need to talk to you about. Mind if I shut your office door for a minute?" Derek asked.
"Of course, what's going on?"
Derek's throat had suddenly gone dry. "I uh, well normally I keep my personal life separate from my professional life but this time I've messed that up." Derek swallowed before continuing, "I met Tiffany and Trevor Smith at the donor dinner, and they invited me over for dinner this weekend. I accepted mainly to make new friends, thinking they were married. When I found out they were just best friends and Trevor was gay..."
He was watching Robyn for a reaction, but unable to read her expression he continued, "We really hit it off Saturday and we are now in a sexual relationship. I don't know how far it will go, but since he is a member of the board I figured this fell into a grey area of dating coworkers so I wanted you to hear it from me first."
Robyn wasn't smiling when she replied, "It's days like this I really hate being the boss. We do have a policy against staff/board relationships. Years ago a staff member had an affair with the board treasurer. It got very ugly when his wife found out, and we lost a few donors in the ensuing scandal. We were forced to cut ties with them both to protect both the foundation and the clinic."
"I understand," Derek replied as the color drained from his face. "I didn't know about the scandal but I do understand the policy." He took a deep breath before he continued, "I made a conscious decision before pursing Trevor that I'd resign if needed to avoid any conflicts."
"Don't quit just yet," Robyn interrupted, "that policy hasn't ever been reviewed or applied since it was put in place. It was a knee jerk reaction to a bad situation. I've got a meeting later this week with legal and the board leadership team, so let me get clarification before you make any decisions."
Robyn paused before smiling, finally showing some emotion, "I know I shouldn't say this but off the record I'm thrilled for both of you! I noticed Trevor watching you at dinner the other night. He's gotten to be a good friend over the years; He's a very special man and he deserves to be happy. In the few weeks you've been here you've already made a big impact and I don't want to lose you either, so I'm willing to fight for you both if you are sure this is what you want."
"I'm positive. He makes me happier than I have been in a long time. When we're together nothing else matters and he seems to feel the same way. We spent over 24 hours together this weekend but I already feel like I've known him my whole life," Derek gushed.
"Well ok then, it's settled. Let me see what I can work out. Besides, you probably already know how protective Tiffany can be, and nobody wants to be on her bad list."
Derek had a hard time focusing on work the rest of the day. The conversation with Robyn hadn't exactly gone as planned, but the feeling he got every time Trevor sent him another text confirmed he made the right decision. He decided that if Trevor didn't ask, he wasn't going to bring it up. There was no use in having them both worry. Either the issue would resolve itself, or he'd find another job.
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They decided on Mexican food for dinner. Like good Texans they had a conversation about what kind of Mexican food before they picked a restaurant. There were the authentic places that used fresher ingredients but tended to be a little bland, Tex-Mex with everything smothered in cheese and a little kick, chili heavy southwest Mexican, and the odd Cali-Mex that pretended to be healthier with seafood and only a little cheese. Derek was craving the comfort of gooey queso after the conversation with Robyn, so they settled on a Tex-Mex place Trevor knew of in a strip mall not far from his house.
Derek was waiting on a bench outside the door when Trevor arrived. Even though it had only been a day, they hugged tight enough that any passersby would have guessed the men were reconnecting after years apart. The spell was broken by the clang of door chimes as a family left the restaurant.
"Table for 2 please," Trevor requested.
"Well after that hug I should hope so Dr. Trevor," the hostess teased as she escorted them to a private booth in the back. She put both menus down on the same side suggesting they should sit together, "Juan will be over to get your drinks in a minute. Enjoy your meal."
Trevor explained, "This place is family owned, and most of the staff is related. I came in one evening after work and ran into one of my past patients when he ran over to me and gave me a hug. I think I spent 20 minutes meeting all the staff as they thanked me for giving little Raphael his smile back. This has been one of my go to places ever since."
Derek's squeezed the other man's thigh, "Well as long as she wasn't flirting." Damn there were those dimples again. Derek thought he'd never get tired of seeing Trevor smile.
"Ok since I've never been here I have to ask... the nachos, are they CHIPS with stuff, or chips with STUFF?"
"CHIPS with stuff," Trevor replied, understanding the question instantly. "They use fresh baked flour tortilla chips and load each one up with toppings. Sometimes I just get a half order topped with beef fajita and call it a meal."
"Perfect! I've never been a fan of the version that's just a plate of chips with ingredients piled in the middle. It's just impossible to get all the flavors on each chip."
The food was delicious, with a perfect balance of cheese and spice. The frozen margaritas had to rank among the best in the city, just sweet enough to cut the tang of fresh lime. They sipped on the last of their margaritas trying to prolong the meal when Derek spoke up, "I wish we could stay here all night. Well, maybe not this booth but you know what I mean."
"We could always go over to my place for a bit", Trevor suggested, adding a quick peck on Derek's cheek and a suggestive squeeze on his leg to make his point absolutely clear.
They were interrupted by the waiter arriving with a bowl of fried ice cream and two spoons. Seeing their confusion the waiter said, "It's on the house, boss' orders."
Evening had fallen by the time they left. Derek walked with Trevor to his car in a darkened corner of the parking lot, pulling him into a passionate kiss. "I meant my offer earlier; you can come back to my place."
Derek sighed, "I know, and I really want to, but I just don't think it would be a good idea. I tend to lose track of time when I'm with you..." he leaned in for another kiss. "I have to meet with the lawyer's first thing in the morning and finalize the paperwork for the matching funds on Gloria's endowment. I don't think it would look to good if I showed up in the same clothes I wore today."
"I know. I wished you lived closer," Trevor sighed wistfully. "I guess it will be Thursday before I can see you again. It's my week to cover the evening appointments at the clinic tomorrow and Wednesday."
"It's a date. I'll see you Thursday." Derek gave his boyfriend a final kiss goodnight before heading home.
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Tuesday was fairly quiet for Derek. All the paperwork for the endowment was finally signed, and follow up conversations with his lead list were going well. He took it as a good sign that most of the potential donors had been receptive to his calls, after all no one liked to part with money. He himself had made many flimsy excuses over the years to avoid sales pitches and charity calls.
It was a little after 9 when his phone rang. "Hey babe, did you just get home?"
Trevor smiled on the other end of the line. He'd never admit it out loud, but he loved it when Derek called him babe. "No, I've been home for 20 minutes or so. I wanted to take a quick shower and wash away the grime from work before I called."
"Wish I could have been there to help," Derek teased. "Now you got me picturing you naked, covered in soap suds and water dripping down your chest."
He meant it as a joke but got rock hard when Trevor replied, "Mmm I wish you were here too." His voice growing husky with need, "maybe when you come over Thursday..."
Derek picked up the conversation, "I can picture it now, holding our bodies close and letting the warm water wash away the day. I'd work up a nice thick lather, making sure to massage every inch of your chest. Can you feel me working your nipples?"
Derek could hear the unmistakable sound of a man jacking off as Trevor moaned, "Keep going.."
"Next I'd kneel and gently wash your legs, slowly running my hands up and down, working my up your thighs. Closer and closer... but not yet." Trevor whined in frustration. "time to spin you around and clean your back."
"I'd start by gently running the wash cloth across your shoulders, slowly moving down your back. Screw the washcloth, I want nothing to be in my way when I start working on your ass." Derek heard the hitch in his lover's breathing and decided to press forward. "Yeah you like that don't you, feeling my fingers knead your butt, a soapy finger slowly sliding up and down your crack..."
"oh god..."
Derek was getting close too as he continued, "I can't wait to bend you over, hands against the shower wall, and finally get my tongue...."
Derek dropped the phone when Trevor screamed out his climax and focused on finishing himself off. A few strokes was all it took.
He could hear Trevor saying something and quickly grabbed the phone, "Sorry babe I dropped the phone, what was that?"
Trevor chuckled, "I was just saying I can't believe I shot so quick. I mean, I've sort of fantasized about you..."
"That makes two of us," Derek countered, "that is one fantasy I hope to make reality very soon."
Trevor had started to yawn an hour later when they called it a night. Derek turned out the lights and had just settled into bed when the screen of his phone lit up with a text. Of course it was from Trevor, "I was thinking maybe you should bring a change of clothes Thursday night. Then you have something to wear to work Friday in case you don't make it home. Sweet dreams."
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The office was unusually busy Thursday morning, and Derek ended up closing his door part way to cut down on the noise while he made calls. He kept checking the clock every 5 minutes, willing the day to go faster. Tonight was date night and he couldn't wait to see Trevor. He was startled from his thoughts when someone knocked on his door.
"Hey stranger, got a minute to talk?" Tiffany had poked her head around the door.
"Sure come on in! What brings you to the office?" Derek queried.
Tiffany shut the door and took a seat. "I was here for the leadership team meeting," she paused, waiting for a reaction.
"I didn't realize you were on the board."
"No, I didn't think you did." Her stare was making Derek uncomfortable, "I'm actually not on the board, but I'm currently serving as the clinic liaison. Imagine my surprise this morning when I saw the agenda had you listed for a disciplinary review."
"Oh," he replied flatly, shifting uneasily in his chair.
"Oh?" she repeated, arching her eyebrow. "I'm assuming Trevor doesn't know about this?" His silence was enough of an answer, "and just when were you planning to tell him?"
"I was waiting until I heard more from Robyn. I didn't want to worry him until I knew how this would play out." Derek opened his lower desk drawer and passed a folder to Tiffany. "It's my letter of resignation. I've had it ready since Monday, I just need to sign and date it. I can easily find a new job, but I don't think I could ever replace Trevor."
Tiffany's face softened, "You can't. He's one of a kind." She handed the folder back to him, unopened, "Shred it. The committee is recommending the board takes no action, and to amend the existing policy." Derek let out the breath he had been holding. "That doesn't mean you're off the hook with me. You need to tell him."
"I'm heading to his place after work, I'll tell him tonight."
Satisfied that her partner was safe, Tiffany finally smiled. "Good. They always order enough box lunches for staff and the board, so let's go grab some lunch before all the good stuff is gone."
"Sure just let me finish a message and I'll meet you in the conference room," Derek replied.
He leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes once Tiffany was gone, not realizing how stressed he had been. He pulled out his phone to fire off a text to Trevor, "Can't wait to see you tonight. I have some news I need to share with you," signed with a kissy face emoji.
It was late afternoon before he got a response, "Sorry but I need to cancel tonight. I'm really just not feeling up to it."
"Are you ok? Do you need me to bring you anything?"
"No. I really just need to be alone. Will talk to you this weekend," Derek's heart sank as he read the note, unsure what was going on.
"Ok well let me know if you need anything. Call me tonight?"
Derek stared at his phone. The message had been marked as read but no response came.
Just before five his phone rang from a number he didn't recognize. "Derek Evans," he answered.
"Hey it's Tiffany."
"Oh hey I didn't recognize the number. What can I do for you? Is Trevor ok?" he began to panic.
"Actually, that's why I'm calling," Tiffany answered.
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An hour later Derek was ringing Trevor's doorbell, his overnight bag in one hand and Chinese takeout in the other. He waited almost a full minute before the door opened to show Trevor standing there. There was no smile on his face, and his eyes were puffy and bloodshot.
"Why are you here?"
Derek pushed his way in past Trevor, "Tiffany called and told me what happened. She told me to just give you some space for a few days but that doesn't really work for me." He gestured with the takeout bag before setting it on the kitchen counter. "I brought you dinner so you don't have to cook."
Trevor still stood by the open door, "I told you I didn't want to see you."
"I know," Derek said, trying to act strong, "but I need you to understand I'm here for you no matter what. I'll be in the guest bedroom if you need me, if not, I'll stay out of your way."
Alone on the guest bed Derek began to wonder if this had been the best idea. Tiffany had told him that Trevor had lost a patient, and he immediately asked what he could do. She told him to just give Trevor some space for a few days and let him work it out, but he couldn't just sit by and do nothing. Maybe he was being selfish, but if he was willing to give up his job for Trevor he sure as hell wasn't going to let him suffer alone.
He had been there less than five minutes when the bedroom door opened, with Trevor just standing there looking forlorn. Derek sat his phone down and just held his arms open when the man remained mute. Trevor shuffled over to the bed and nestled into his boyfriends arms as he started to cry again.
"Don't worry, I've got you and I'm never letting go," Derek whispered as pulled his boyfriend close.
Trevor let his sobs fill the room, feeling safe in his lover's arms. Derek wept softly too, wishing he could take away the pain.
Trevor finally spoke, "I just... She was so young. I thought we were finally making progress on her treatment. She was always such a fighter, and kept up her smile no matter how bad she felt."
"I can't pretend to understand what are going through, but you don't have to go through it alone," Derek hugged Trevor from behind and kissed his head. "I meant what I said, I'm here for you no matter what."
Trevor turned toward him with a faint smile, "I know... but I can hear your stomach growling."
"Well you try to go all day on just a lousy box lunch. I got stuck with the vegetarian sandwich because that was the only thing left," Derek retorted, thankful that the conversation was lightening up.
Trevor scooted up the bed to give him a proper kiss, "Well then maybe you'd like to join me for dinner? I happen to have a bagful of Chinese takeout."
They both felt drained by the time they cleared away dinner, the day's emotions having taken a heavy toll. "I know how restless you can get when sleeping away from home, and I don't want to be woken up by you moving around the house all night, so I guess that means I have to let you sleep with me tonight," Trevor's smile once again lighting up the room.
Derek leaned in for a tender kiss, "Home is wherever you are."