Autor's note: This is the sequel to the novel "The Knife That Twists Within". For a better understanding, I recommend reading this one before.
I would like to express my deepest thanks to Michael and Alex who were always there for me through all tribulations with the story and myself.
My equal thanks goes to Andrew Alexander, my editor and proofreader who took the time to work with me on the the final editing. Thank you very much.
Further, I would like to give my thanks to Keenan, Don, Joe, John and David whose constant interest has been a great support. And last but not least, to Ernie; it's good to have you back.
More information about "The Knife That Twists Within" and other stories you might find under my website http://members.aol.com/SSch191950/Stefan
As always comments and criticisms are highly welcome. And a Happy New Year to you all!
A PROMISE AND A CURSE by Stefan
PRELUDE
The pair of pliers very easily turned the square bolt set in the gate lock. The man's relieved grin remained unseen because of the black stocking mask he had pulled over his head. Good old Daniel von Falkenstein, how nice he kept his castle in such good shape.
Just another easy turn on the right side and the gate snapped open. Noiselessly it swung on its hinges.
He took his tool box and merged with the shadows of the gate arch - a black dressed silhouette on soundless sneakers.
Arriving in the paved yard, he orientated himself quickly and looked up to the walls of the inner yard. The cold light of a three quarter moon reflected in his eyes. No sound was to be heard except the soft, creepy flapping wings of a tawny owl which flew over the stout, old fortress tower.
The man shivered a bit; South-Tyrol's mountain nights were cool and he was dressed only in a black cat suit. He dropped his gaze to the ground and turned on the torch. Thank heavens von Falkenstein didn't have a dog, crossed his mind. Actually it was pretty careless.
He entered the next open entrance, rummaged for a sheet of paper, unfolded it and studied the layout plan of the castle. He climbed the wooden staircase to the first floor without being afraid anybody could hear him. Von Falkenstein, the owner of this place, was in Meran. He hoped that his friend could hold him there long enough.
His steps creaked over old, dusty floor boards until he reached the balcony and stepped again into the open air.
He could hear the little creek gurgling over moss covered stones below the balcony. He directed his eyes into the distance until his gaze fell upon the mountains opposite. Here and there a flickering point of light told him the place of a house; then he looked down into the warm sea of lights of the town of Meran below his feet. He saw the illuminated casino and the iron lamps which lit up the pedestrian zone and park ways along the river.
After a while he broke himself free to study once again the ground plan. He crossed a large room the owner probably used as his living room, climbed the stairs and opened another door. Rooted to the spot he remained on the threshold, then he lifted the torch and lightened the little chapel he was standing in.
It was made completely of wood, with heavy rafters, imitation gothic carvings - he wasn't quite sure. Set into the wainscot were painted pictures of saints and a heavy Crucifix hung down from a crossbeam.
The beam of the torch searched from one wall to another. Somewhere here it had to be...
The cone of light moved over a covered object. With two steps he was there and quickly removed the cloth. With some effort he suppressed a moan and bent forward. It wasn't as big as he had expected it to be, but he certainly understood now why it was so precious.
With his teeth he pulled off his thin black glove and touched very cautiously the wood carved reredos, then he made the sign of the cross - quickly and almost furtively. The carved Mother Mary with her chubby-cheeked child in her arms seemed to smile at him, as if she would encourage him to take her with him. Adoringly his eyes followed the countless arches and curves, the carved foliage, the creative ornaments. Difficult to believe that it was made of wood and was done about 400 years ago - it gave the impression of a goldsmith's work or of a painting done with a fine brush.
After a long glance he replaced the cloth over the altar again and lifted it from its place. Soon the reredos would be complete again, he thought. He unrolled the padded wardrobe suitcase, pumped a little air into it, then stowed the altar pieces away.
Then he left the castle in the same way he had come.
THE PROTAGONISTS
Benedikt Schaefer -- Young student at the Academy of Arts. Strong
minded and a bit out of control sometimes. Fell in love
with Simon.
Simon Langenburg -- Occasional hustler and dealer. Old lover of
Marcus Weidenbruch. Dismissed by Marcus when he caught him
with another man in bed. HIV infected.
Nicholas Zellner -- Young, very talented painter, student friend of
Benedikt. Shy, hurt but gaining self-confidence by meeting
Marcus Weidenbruch.
Marcus Weidenbruch -- Very rich and famous promoter of Art. Collector
of art works and antiques. Marcus and Nicholas have been a
couple for some months. Strong but a bit selfish. Scatty
but love able and tender.
Sebastian von Scheffel -- Marcus' best and eldest friend. They were
once lovers. Cocky, funny and witty, after every pair of pants
in town. Works in Rome for Marcus and is one of the leaders of
the excavation of ancient Rome. He and Nicholas had a one night
stand.
Daniel von Falkenstein -- Sebastian's cousin. Owner of a castle in
Italy's South-Tyrol. Taciturn, thoughtful, loner.
Kay Kristian Langenburg -- Young sales clerk. Brother of Simon and
Sebastian's lover. Cheeky, funny, carefree. Doesn't know about
Sebastian's and Nicholas' affair. Lives with Sebastian in Rome
now.
Frank Neumann -- Nicholas' and Ben's teacher at the Academy of Arts. He
raped Nicholas and tried to do the same to Benedikt. Picked up
Simon from the street and spent one night with him without
protection. Emotionless, fan of S & M.
Eduard Ehlers -- Secretary of the Senator for Arts and Culture of
Berlin. Fan of S & M, living it out with Frank Neumann.
Walter-Udo Leister -- Student of the Academy of Arts, nephew of Eduard,
strongly supported by him. He hates gays, especially his teacher,
Frank Neumann.
Rene Jankowsky -- The one by whom Simon got HIV infected and the reason
Simon and Marcus broke up. A bit obscure in his intentions.
Vera and Rudolf Zellner -- Nicholas' parents. Rudolf disapproves of
Nicholas' homosexuality and hates Marcus for the same reason
and because of his wealth. Narrow minded. Vera is opportuning
against her husband and left their flat.
Matthias Barth -- Nicholas' straight friend of mutual sales clear times
at a shopping center. Matthias still works there, helped Nicholas
during hard times.
Johannes Voss -- Elder employee and Restorer at Marcus' working hall.
Anna Weyler -- Marcus' housekeeper. Curious, jealous, annoying
sometimes. Loyally devoted to Marcus. Tried to interrupt
Marcus' and Nicholas' relationship but adjusted herself now with
his presence.
Alexander Karowski -- Wife of Marcus' business partner. Owns a portrait
of Kay painted by Nicholas and commissioned him to paint her family.
Carola and Wolff Langenburg -- Simon's and Kay's parents. After selling
their factory, now living at the Isle of Sylt. Not caring about
their sons.
George Rosenstock -- Inheritor of London's optical glass factory. Had
an encounter with Marcus.
Karl -- Marcus' employee working in London.
Andrea -- Italian, one of Sebastian's ex-lovers.
Roberto -- Italian, friend of Andrea.
To Ben -
"If you should ever read this, I hope I'm still among the
living. I know I do not have much time. You might say
there are still years to come but I feel old. Well, not
exactly. When you are with me I feel like the 21 years old
lad I had been the day I met Marcus. Oh God, Marcus. I
know you never heard our story, only the sad ending,
haven't you?
It's more difficult for me than I thought to write all this
down when speaking is so much easier. I can't tell you
everything; can't tell you all those tales and stay calm;
keep my countenance. But it has to be out before it is too
late. I lost Oliver before we could say good bye and I don't
want you to feel the same afterwards. Gosh, why am I so
dreary and a drama queen all of a sudden.
I have been trying for a while to sort my memories but each
of them swirls in my mind like a .... wheel of colours.
Which reminds me ... I owe you Oliver's story and you have
never heard about Jo.
So, where to start?"
CHAPTER ONE
"Summer was gone. I sensed it when I woke up and felt
Oliver's body laying cold in my arms. I didn't have to look
into his face nor into his eyes. I knew he was gone like the
summer. His head was heavy on my shoulder and his small chest
didn't move. I wondered if he would see it now: all the
strange, foreign colours, swirling like a wheel, getting
faster and faster the more they neared the center point.
I had been dragged with them. Him and his life in the fast
lane. He was 19, three years younger than me. And now I'm 23
and he is still gone. I miss him. I have told you already
that my memories are in turmoil. I don't know exactly how to
begin. I should tell you about Oliver but this would not be
the right start, you know.
At the very beginning was Marcus Weidenbruch. My first love.
I fall in love easily but Marcus was different. He WAS love,
he gave me love and I believe there is still something left
from the feelings we have shared. There must be something
left, don't you think? It can't be here today and vanished
tomorrow.
When I first saw him again after a long, long time -- you
remember, Ben? He was looking for Nicholas, his new lover
he abandoned like me -- I thought the earth would shake but
nothing like this happened. It was still there, all closeness...
But why do I tell you this? I don't want to leave the
impression I'm still in love with him. I'm not. It's just
that he belongs to a good part of my life I will always remember."
"Ben! Wait for me, I'll come with you!"
Ben turned and stopped in his tracks to wait for his friend who struggled between several young people coming out of the exercise room of the Academy of Arts. Nicholas had his jacket over his arm, the other carried his painting equipment in a bag. Ben smiled at him. "I just need a piss, mate."
"Good, we have the same need then. Heavens, this was another day of difficult work," he added.
Nick studied the milk white skin of his friend and found him a bit paler than he was generally. Even the hazel eyes behind the thin black glass frames lacked their usual sparkle.
"Marcus won't come to pick you up today?" Ben asked.
"Not yet." Nick looked at his watch. "In an hour. Since we were finished early today, I'll have to wait for him."
Once more Ben felt a little pain in his heart thinking about how well Nicholas and his lover, Marcus, were doing together.
They entered the toilet, stood in front of the urinal and unzipped their trousers. Even Ben's long black ponytail had lost its healthy shimmering Nicholas thought. He glanced at Ben's groin.
"Nice equipment, Ben. Simon doesn't know what he's missing." He grinned mischievously.
Ben blushed furiously but returned Nick's grin and blew him a kiss. But almost instantly his facial expression changed into sadness again. "Haven't heard from Simon for two weeks now. So don't remind me."
Nicholas tucked his penis back into his underwear and zipped his trousers. "Sorry for that. Thought you could do with a bit of amusement."
"Yeah," Ben signed. "I'm in need of that, really." He shook his head. "If I only knew his whereabouts. He vanished without saying a word. I only hope he isn't in deep shit."
Nicholas washed his hands, examining his face in the mirror. With his hands still wet, he wiped them over his nicely cut dark blond hair and scooped up some water in his palm to drink. Indeed, he thought. Simon seemed always to be in deep shit since he began his dealing job in gay bars and hustling around to make his living.
"You don't think he had a quarrel with a dealer? Or possibly got into a bashing and is now laying in a hospital?" He turned to Ben.
Actually, I do. He never carries his identification card so nobody would know his name when he's unconscious."
Nick still studied Ben's face. "Honestly, I can't understand why you hung your heart on him. Don't get me wrong, buddy, I can remember very vividly the night we found him in the "Night factory" and made clear that his family and his ex-lover, Marcus, worried about him. He has vanished before, you know, so this behavior isn't new, Ben. That time I had the impression that he's quite an asshole. He never cares about anybody. So why are you so bewitched by him?"
Ben dropped his head and looked at the stained and wet tiles upon the floor. "I can't explain. I know good looking isn't reason enough to fall in love. But he IS good looking." He stopped, bent over to pick up his bag and jacket.
"So what else?" Nick insisted. He, too, took his clothes and stepped out of the toilet. Together they went along the long corridor to the exit of the Academy. They breathed in deeply the clear air. Now and again the sun peered out of the white clouds and the chestnut trees standing in the yard were beginning to show a bit of soft green, an indication that Spring was near.
"Want to wait with me for Marcus?" Nicholas pointed to a bench. Ben nodded.
"He can be very nice." Ben said all of a sudden.
"Who, Simon?" Nick sighed a bit.
"I like the way he talks, you know. The way he flicks off the curl that falls on his forehead," Ben whispered. "I wish he would take me in his arms."
"Never noticed. But then I don't know him at all. Are you sure it isn't only a physical attraction?" He made a mental note to ask Marcus about his ex-lover. After all, there must have been something about Simon that Marcus had loved. Marcus was a cultivated man, rich and well-educated. Simon must have been more to him than an attractive face and body. Aloud he said, "I never asked Marcus about Simon. The only thing I know is that he found Simon fucking with another man in their bed and Marcus went wild about it. He chucked him out."
"Yes, I know that. Although I find it a bit harsh and an over-reaction." Ben looked into Nicholas' violet blue eyes. "He was about to do the same when he found out about you and Sebastian, right?"
Nicks cheeks reddened briefly as he looked away. Yes, Sebastian. Marcus' best friend. He tried to dismiss the queasy feelings, but did not succeed completely. Sebastian meant a lot to him, not only as a friend. But the attraction both felt for each other had subsided since they didn't see each other anymore and after all .... the longing had been fulfilled in one night of passion and Nick didn't feel the urge to do it ever again. This was absolutely out of the question. Marcus and he himself had talked about it over several weeks, over and over again during the nights and days, trying to figure out what they meant to each other.
"That's not enough of a reason for Simon to behave so sluttish," he said. "What he's doing with his arse is his concern but, since he's HIV positive, it's a different thing." Nick's voice sounded angry.
"But why? Nobody has to fuck with him without protection!"
"So this is all you can say about this?" Nick shook his head. "That's no good. Think about Frank!"
"Frank? you think it was Simon's fault?" Ben wanted to add something but swallowed it. Frank was their teacher for painting and had picked up Simon for one night, fucking the brains out while both were high on pot. Without protection, as he added in his mind. Perhaps Nick was right. He was careless.
A lump was building in his throat. He'd never had sex with Simon so far and suddenly he wasn't sure if he wanted it. "Simon isn't as bad as you picture him." he said softly. "He must be hurt. Something has hurt him so much that he turned into a .... fish, slipping through my hands. I can't make head or tails of him." He looked into Nicholas' direction.
"That's a big attraction to me. I want to push forward to the REAL Simon, you understand?"
"Even if you could find something you wouldn't like to see? The very black essence of his soul?"
"Even then."
"Phew," Nicholas' eyes pierced Ben's. "Haven't you slept with him yet?"
Ben shook his head.
"Take care of yourself. Promise me that?"
"All right, Daddy." Ben's voice was without a smile. "He's healthy, although he sometimes feels the effects of the tablets he has to take. But otherwise, everything is ok."
"Tablets to support his immune system I assume."
"Right. He's sometimes very depressed. Therefore I fear he did something silly or is simply in difficulties."
Nicholas reached out to lay his arm around Ben's shoulders. He squeezed them tightly. "He isn't gone for good. I don't believe it."
Ben laughed, unhappily. "I try to believe that."
At the curb a black Mercedes arrived and came to a halt. "Marcus is here." Nick said. "Gosh, next week I'll have my first lesson for my driver's license. I'm scared shitless!"
Ben smiled. "It isn't that bad, Nick. You're doing fine." He stood and looked at Marcus stepping out of this car. A tall figure with shiny black hair leaning against the car door and waving.
Ben waved back and took his bag. "Anything planned?"
"Not that I know about. Perhaps take some lessons behind the steering wheel of his car."
"Don't get caught!" Ben said more happily. "Give him my regards. My car is behind the academy. See you tomorrow." He was about to go.
"Ben! Show me a big smile!"
Ben turned, grinned involuntarily and showed his white teeth. He waved and vanished around the corner.
More to follow -