So a warning for those who may have come here without realizing what you are about to look at. This is a story involving an intimate relationship between two consenting adult men. If you are offended with the idea of homosexuality or are an individual that is not allowed by your state of residency to read such explicit material due to your age please exit before continuing on. The characters portrayed in this work are based on actual people in my life although the names have been changed for confidentiality purposes. Also the majority of the content in this short story is purely fictional and has no actual reference to real events.
With all that out of the way I now turn to this story. I have had many relationships in the past. Being hurt by someone you think you love isn't an easy thing to overcome. Perhaps this is why I have been single for so long I have decided to close myself off. Well I had a chance to let someone in. But I ruined it. I blocked him out and went my own way. I think this is how my story would have gone if I would have been willing to let someone in. Had I given him the power to make me incredibly happy this is how it would have happened. This is my first shot at story writing so please send me positive and negative constructive feedback at FrBlt2000@yahoo.com I Hope you enjoy.
P.S. Don't expect a good wank story. This is about love.
The Last Place I Thought
Chapter 2:
In and Out of the Hotel
Told from Nathan's point of view
I think he likes me. If he turns me down that does not mean he does not like me. I hope he does not get the wrong idea. I am just inviting him in to chat for a while. I really can't fall asleep before 1 a.m. I know it is a personal problem, but I found that it is easier to wind down with someone else there with me. He doesn't know this though. He might think I am trying to get into his pants and I don't want to give off that impression. Oh what if he liked me and now he hates me. I could have just ruined anything we could have had. Damn me and my habits. Well maybe I should say something to lighten the mood. He has been standing there thinking about this for a minute.
"So you coming in or am I going to have to pull out the straightjacket?" I had just met the guy today and I thought he was nice enough. I like spending time with him already. I wanted to get to know as much as I could about who this interestingly beautiful guy in front of me was. He started to open his mouth after thinking for a minute. Oh it was just to giggle. Well now it looks like he is ready to give me his decision.
"I think I will come in for a while. Do you mind if I brush my teeth and get ready for bed first so when I come back to my room I can crash right away?"
WOOOHOOO! Celebration in my head. Oh gotta hold my composure, just a little smile I don't want to give away my overwhelming happiness.
"Yea that is fine I don't mind I will do the same. Just come back and knock whenever you are done. It will be like a little jammy party" Jason just smiled and turned to go to his room. Jammy party? What the hell was I thinking? I know this kid is younger than me but I am sounding like I am about to start kindergarten. Hope he doesn't think I am a total loser. Ahh I have been standing out here alone for god knows how long. I should get ready before he comes back and wonders why I took so long.
"By the power vested in me I now pronounce you man and wife. you may kiss the bride."
Bleh! love the newlyweds but I don't do the whole straight on straight action. Alright let's get this shindig on the road! Ah dammit time for pictures. I never felt I was very photogenic.
"Of course we had to take a million pictures." Is this going to be a trend? Catching him at his car about to leave.
"Well we have to make sure to get everyone's best side. Unfortunately no angle can get your non-existent best side.." He sure has a way of being incredibly cute when he is being a jerk.
Oh he will pay for that. I just have to grill him. I can't show Jay any signs of weakness. I don't want to come off as an ass as well. Well I don't think I can do that. "I was surprised when you got in front of the camera it didn't shatter and crumble into a thousand pieces. Then, burst into flames."
We both just laughed for a minute. I glanced into his eyes only for a second quickly looking down at my feet. I swear sometimes I feel like a prepubescent girl when I am around Jason. I looked up only to realized everyone had already left to the reception. He was still glaring at me. He had a new look in his eye I had never seen before. I felt the tension between us, but at the same time a magnetic pull was drawing us ever closer. I was leaning in. I closed my eyes.
KnockKnockKnock
"Hey come on in" and trust me it was not said in desperation whatsoever. smile
I wasn't desperate honest. However, when I saw him standing in the doorway I just about creamed my pants. If my hormones had their way I would have grabbed him, pulled him in the room, ripped his clothes off unceremoniously, and had my way with that piece of man meat all night long. Thank goodness I didn't. There were physical urges of course. They however would not ruin what I could already tell would be a good friendship at the least. I admit I have trouble keeping gay friends of the male persuasion. I either end up fucking them along with the friendship or competing with them for men. Both cases are not beneficial to me. I could feel the difference with Jay. He didn't give in to my taunting. Nor did he get defensive and feel hurt at my remarks. I was just innocently playing, but some take my words to heart and I can't handle being with someone so sensitive. I won't walk on eggshells for anyone. I will however get to know this guy in my room to the best of my ability. By the looks of things, that won't be too difficult either. I didn't know they made shorts so short for men. Wow I don't often find men that make me say this, but he had really nice legs. They were long slender and smooth. He must shave or use another form of hair removal. I just wanted to touch them and stroke them up and down. They look as if they are made of silk. Does he wear this to bed or is he just being modest for my sake? All I know is that I was sweating bullets just looking at his picture perfect legs. Ok time to move up a little. If I stare too long I might forget there is more to this person. The tank top must have felt like a second skin for him. It beautifully hugged his well defined chest. Also it accentuated his slimming stomach and waistline. This guy was in great shape. He must really take his health seriously. Don't get the wrong impression he wasn't one of those Gym Rats who spends 6 hours a day working out. He just had an overall nice tone with diet and light exercise anyone could achieve. I myself have a similar musculature to Jason. I guess I love myself so much that I wouldn't expect anything less than my personal muscle tone in a man.
"Anything good on T.V.?" He plopped down on the bed and made himself comfortable.
Honk
"Hey guys lets get going to the reception. You don't want people to think you guys are a couple or anything." Gisella was a good friend but, right now I could just kill her. We were so close to kissing for the first time. I could feel his breath on my face moments before we heard Gisella blare her car horn.
"She is right. We don't want to be late. My mom would kill me if I don't make it on time."
"To D.C. and Christy may they have a happy life together. Cheers!" "Cheers"
Man this was really nice. I always loved weddings. Someday it would be nice if I could marry the man I love. Eventually, I am sure things will change. Once people realize that gay marriage won't ruin the sanctity of marriage. At least it won't be worse than the One in Three divorce rate we have going now. Nope I am not the least bit bitter.
Well the night is young, the liquor is plentiful, and the Music is Jammin! I had been pretty conservative up to this point. Now it is time to get crazy and enjoy myself.
"Can I see your ID son?" Jason said taking on a Texan accent coming up behind me. Then taking a spot next to me to get the bartenders attention.
"Honestly officer, I was just holding this drink for a friend." I said with the biggest smile ever. After putting down my Jack and Coke I slowly turned with my hands raised.
"Either show me your ID or I am gonna have ta take ya in. What am I goin ta have ta bring out my handcuffs ta show ya how serious I am?" Jason said remaining in character. I didn't know he was into role playing. And did he say handcuffs? smile
"Is that a promise?" we both had to laugh a little at our extreme dorkiness. HA I got him to crack.
"I was bluffing I don't have any handcuffs."
I just turned right back to my drink quite intent on getting the most out of this open bar. Then I felt hand rest on my arm. I turn again to Jason. Apparently, he had something more to say. Looking puzzled I asked "did you want to say something else?"
"Would you come with me real quick. I want to show you something." Jason replied looking so damn hot in his little tuxedo. I could have just eaten him all up.
" O...but wait a minute they are about to have their first dance." What the hell was I saying? Here is a beautiful young man out of my wildest dreams leading me to god knows where, and there I am wanting to see two straights dance together?
"Trust me we will get to see them dance. We just have to hurry."
I usually have a big smile on my face when I am around Jason. Right now I am completely confused and it is showing on my face.
"Come on or we will miss it." he grabbed my arm and pulled me along. He wasn't going to take no for an answer.
I couldn't speak one word. I was totally shocked by this sudden little voyage to an unknown location. Also I was speechless because as we slipped out of sight his hand slipped down to grasp mine. It sounds really dirty but I got a little aroused from Jason's gentle touch. As we made our way to our destination I remember turning this way and that like going through a labyrinth. Then finally coming to flight of stairs that led upward. Eventually we stopped outside a door.
"Ok now close your eyes. I will guide you the rest of the way." he instructed me almost in a whisper.
I did as I was told. I figured we had gone this far. Also, It would have been a fairly accurate guess to think he wouldn't take no for an answer. After hearing a door creak open, I followed Jason blindly into what I could only guess is another room. Then I noticed the music. Coming from below us somewhere.
"Ok now open your eyes."
I did as I was told and again was stricken with a loss for words.
"Do you like it? I found it when we were decorating for the reception yesterday. I thought it was a perfect place to escape if I needed some time to myself during the reception." He said in a voice full of youth-like excitement.
He reminded me of a child coming home and showing his parents a drawing he drew that day in school. Jason was absolutely beaming as he finished his sentence. He made his way to the edge of the balcony. I could tell this was something special for him. To share his secret getaway place with me I hope must mean he has more than just lukewarm feelings for me.
This time Jason didn't pressure me to answer. He was just marveling in my awe taking it as the answer to his inquiry. This balcony overlooking the main reception hall was gorgeous. I think I remember hearing someone mention this place was once an opera house. This particular balcony was right in front of a candle lit grand chandelier. I don't know how this could be any more romantic.
"Nathan?"
"Yes?"
"would you... would you dance with me?"
I was in neverland for a while but the sudden request knocked me back to reality.
"Um..." what was I to do? What was I to say? Then he took my hand in his again. He already knew my answer even before I did. Jason led me to the center of the balcony and rested his hands on my shoulders. Slowly swaying to the rhythm of the music
"I could hold you for a million years, to make you feel my love..." Garth Brooks is right on the money.
"Nathan?"
"Yes?" I whispered
"I haven't looked to see. I just got dressed before you came to the door. Please make yourself at home." I was being a good host. Maybe a little taunting but in a cute playful way.
"Well do you wanna watch TV, or did you have something else in mind?" Jason asked so innocently. It was like he knew what I was thinking when I opened the door.
"TV is just fine with me. Move your big ass over. I need some room on the bed " I joked as his ass was anything but big. There was a short playful struggle as I hopped on the bed next to him.
At first we didn't even acknowledge that the TV was in the room. It was our original intention to watch the damn thing but the small squabble pushed the tv out of our minds. We just started talking about anything and everything. It started with mostly small talk, and moved on to deeper conversations.
"So how did you know it was love?" I asked eagerly.
"It just felt right. I don't really know how I knew it or how to describe it. It was like when I was with James nothing else in the world really mattered. Everything that he was and everything that we were together was like it was meant to be. I don't know if there is such a thing as destiny, but I thought we were destined to be with each other for the rest of our lives. Then when I got my acceptance letter to go to school up north; James said that it would be best if we didn't see each other anymore. I guess the distance was too much for him to handle. It actually made me question whether or not it was love. I don't even know if he shared my feelings, but I thought I loved him. He didn't know what my true feelings were for him though. It was probably better that way. After we broke up I was really hurt. I never thought I could love another person ever again."
After saying that he looked up at me, and those beautiful eyes that I had seen full of happiness earlier looked so sad and hurt. I would never want him to look like that ever again. If it took all my strength, energy, and time I would see to it that he never felt like that again.
"Do you believe there is only one person destined to be with you like soul mates, or is it possible to fall in love with more than one person in a life time?" I ask a lot of questions sometimes. It is just in my nature to be inquisitive.
"I am still not sure. If it was love I felt before, I hope I will have another chance. If it wasn't authentic then definitely soul mates." He answered with less sorrow in his voice than before.
"Do you ever wonder what if James was your true love and you missed your shot?" Wow that was crossing the line
He frowned making me feel even worse. I could see that this was getting a little too intense. "Oh Jason I am so sorry. Do you wanna watch a movie? I don't mean to sound insensitive. I think Legally Blonde is coming on, or we can see if there is anything else. Sound good?"
"Yea, sorry to get so in depth on my past and let it affect me. I haven't thought about that in years. I think that a movie would be nice." he replied so apologetically.
"No need to apologize it was all my fault. Come on relax and turn your brain on auto- drive." I said turning the volume up.
We both were lieing there enjoying Legally Blonde. It was the only thing that was on and worth watching that late in the evening. I think The Waterboy was next. I don't know how it happened or when, but I actually dozed off.
When I came to, Jason was gently shaking me calling my name. After my eyes adjusted and I realized where I was I zeroed in on Jason's soft facial features. First that warm smile that could melt a solid gold brick to a shiny puddle. Then his skin looking as if it was engineered to be as smooth as creamy butter. There was not one blemish on his perfect face. The caramel color coming from his Native American roots gave his skin a glow that could shimmer in the darkest of nights. The dark chestnut color of his dreamy eyes. The light crimson tint of his full feather soft lips. Everything about his face made me long to reach out and touch it. I could get used to waking up to this.
"groan how long have I been out? What time is it? I was playing like I still wasn't fully conscious.
"Well you passed out about an hour and a half ago. It is near two o'clock. I should probably get going. I have to be up in about 6 hours." Jason said standing up and stretching.
"Well I guess I won't have any more trouble sleeping here." I laughed
"Obviously, because you were snoring and drooling all over the place." he laughed back.
I gave him a little nudge. He gave me a playful jab in the side. Push went to shove and before I knew it we were rolling around on the bed play wrestling. This went on for only a few minutes. Then with a strong shove Jason succeeded in knocking me off the bed. If I was going down I sure as hell was going to take him down with me. He ended up lieing on top of me.
"Ummm" I said with a heavy tone of awkwardness.
"Yea... I... I should go. Um, I will see you tomorrow." he muttered as he raced out of the room. Shutting the door behind him
"Good night" I replied to an empty room.
kiss There I was dancing in a balcony overlooking one of my best friends wedding reception. My lips pressed against his younger brother's. My mind was reeling. I didn't know what to do. Then I just stopped thinking, and continued kissing my new addiction. I will worry later.
All those questions that flooded into my mind a minute before about what to tell our families and what will happen when he goes back to school would eventually have to come back up later, but right now living in this moment and enjoying this is all that mattered.
After a thousand minutes passed... Ok actually it was more like five minutes but I swear in my mind that kiss is still carrying on today. Anyway, we slowly parted our lips.
"I have waited so long to do that." I said in a soft whisper.
"I... I... Don't think we should be doing this." Then Jason did something I never expected. He crouched against the edge of the balcony and began to weep.
"Jason... Jason please. What Is wrong? I thought that is what you wanted. Isn't it what you wanted? I tried to comfort him not really understanding why I was consoling him.
Between sobs he got out. " I do want this. I am just scared. I stopped dating after I was hurt so bad by James. Then you came into my life. I thought I could control my feelings for you but I just can't. I had every intention of just being your friend. After last night though, I knew I was getting to close to you. I made up my mind this morning when I woke up. I would bring you up here, and tell you that whatever you might be feeling nothing could happen between us. Then I saw your face in deep amazement. I didn't want to ruin your happiness. Then, I don't know what came over me. It was like I wasn't thinking anymore."
"What are your feelings for me?" I asked as I crouched down next to him. Then it occurred to me in that moment that I knew the answer. Before the kiss in the balcony. Before the little wrestling match in the hotel. I knew from the moment our hands touched as we shook hands that day before the rehearsal. It was the last place I thought to find love. Wait a minute. Did I just say love? No. this can't be right. In my 27 years of living I have not been in love with anyone. Now I have such strong feelings for a guy I have only known for a couple of days.
He had been looking at me the entire time. It was as if he could see the wheels in my mind spin. Once he knew they were done spinning he started to stammer out, "I... sob... I...."
I just grabbed his head ever so gently and enveloped him in the most romantic kiss I had ever given.
"Hey what are you two doing up here?"
I know it took me forever to get this chapter out. I apologize to everyone who has written me. I have been sick for the past couple of weeks. Along with having classes and working on various things for the department I haven't been able to write as much. I will try and get out the next chapter when I have the time. I would love to hear from anyone who reads this. Even if it is "you are a crappy write please stop now" at least I would know someone is reading. Send whatever comments you like to FrBlt2000@yahoo.com
Thanks ~Alex