Disclaimer: I don't know the BSB nor do I own them. it's all a story I made up in my head. In other words it's not true so like don't go saying it is. I would like to thank Neto for writing me telling me he liked my story. Ok These *** mean an character change just so you know. I also promise that this story is going to get a bit weird a little later on. in part three which is almost done I have a poem wrote. It's the reason I call this story the lost. I should be sending part three in soon. Well I hope you like my story.
************Kevin
I walked back to the room and looked inside. He was looking around the room blinking. I walked in and pulled a chair up beside him. "Hey sleeping beauty finally decide to wake up?" He looked at with smile spreading across his face. "What hit me all I remember is something hurting my head. Then I'm out like a light?" I chuckled lightly looking the bandages around his head. "Well, you were standing by the door when Rachel came in. It hit your head and you were out. We got you here as quick as we could." I told him moving my hand to hold his. He looked a little worried about something. "This bill is going to kill me I know it." I decided to let Rachel tell him the bill was covered. He was trying to sit up so I helped him. I lost my grip and he fell into me grabbing my shoulders. He pulled himself up to wrapping his arms around me. I in turn held him tightly to my chest. Once I got him sitting up I let him go, something I didn't want to do.
*****************Tom
I looked up into Kevin's eye's and smiled he had beautiful eyes. "You know if you keep catching me, I might fall in love with you." Which caused him to blush then smile. "Then I guess I'll have to keep my arms open and ready." Now it was my turn to blush and look away. "Well, the other guy's want to see you. So I'm going to go and give them a chance." I put on a small pout before I could stop myself. Then I smiled quickly trying to cover it up. Kevin left the room smiling while I waited. AJ walked in smiling holding a pair of sun glasses in his hand. We talked for a few minutes about nothing much. Then he handed me the glasses saying they were a get well gift. I smiled and he left saying something about a nickname. Nick walked in smiling holding his arm lightly. I asked him what was wrong with his arm he told me nothing. Brian came in after Nick telling me I was spending the holidays with him and his family. I was happy to accept it wasn't like I had somewhere to go. He looked like he had just beaten me in basket ball. He must have thought I would give him a problem. Howie was the next person to come in he had a card and box of candy. Then we spoke for a few minutes then he left.
When Rachel walked in I looked at her and smiled. She looked at me with worry in her eyes. "I'm really sorry about the door. Normally I don't have to watch where I go. Don't worry about the hospital bill it's covered." I nodded smiling at her. "It wasn't your fault Rachel I shouldn't have been standing in the doorway. Could you ask the doctor when I could get the hell out of here. I really hate hospitals with a passion. I would also like my clothes back if they still have them." I was being a little bitchy I knew it. I just really wanted out of this place. A plan started forming in my mind but I would need help. I knew who to ask but I couldn't let Rachel in on it. I just had this feeling she was like the mother hen of the group. I just knew she wouldn't go for it while Nick would. I had been reading up on them since I got the job. I knew what the world knew and I knew thing's the world would never know. Well, if I did my job right that is which I planed on doing. "Could you ask Nick to come back in before you talk to the doctor?" I pulled my puppy dog face out.
She nodded heading out of the room while I tried to collect my thoughts. I knew we had to be quick and look like I was leaving with the doc's blessing. So I would need a wheel chair and someone who looked like a nurse. When Nick walked in he had this confused look on his face. I smiled and asked him to get a wheel chair. I knew I was childish but I couldn't help it. He rased an eye brow and went to get the chair. I put the rail down and slowly stood up. My head started spinning so I closed my eyes. When I opened my eyes Nick was waiting for me. I walked to the chair and slowly sat down. "Ok now get me the hell out of here." He didn't even question it he turned toward the door and we were on the way. I kept a look out for doctor's while we went down the hall. "You know I had to sneak Brian out once we almost got caught." He stated taking me around a corner. "Why what was Brian in the hospital for?" I still had some reading to do once I got back to my room. "It was before his surgery. He wanted to get a look at the stars in case he didn't make. So I took him out of the city and into the country. It's when he told me how much I meant to him. It's when I fell in love with him." I was almost crying at this point. I had never heard of something so sweet in my whole life. I didn't want to bother Nick with any more questions.
So far we had made to the waiting room where the guys were waiting. Kevin gave up this 'I know your up to something' look. I waved Brian over since he had been in my shoes. Nick filled him in on what was about to go down. He was smiling and nodding looking at me. He walked over to AJ and filled him in. This was taking to much time Rachel had to be back at my room by now. I was getting nervous just sitting there waiting. Kevin was being left out of the loop for some reason. Brian walked up behind the chair to take me out of the hospital. Kevin was moving toward me quickly. "Oh, my God it's Kevin Richardson from the Backstreet Boys." Nick shouted pointing at Kevin which made him freeze. In just a few second's he was surrounded by screaming girls. I was laughing so hard it made my head hurt. Brian took me out of the hospital as fast as he could. Outside there was a limo waiting for us. Brian helped me in and told the driver where to take me. AJ jumped in on the other side tapping my shoulder. I smiled up at him since I was almost laying down. Nick followed him while Brian walked back to help Kevin. The limo pulled away from the hospital at top speed.
AJ was laughing his ass off looking at me. "I thought Nick was the only real trouble maker." He said between laughs looking at Nick. Nick didn't look to happy about what AJ was saying about him. I smiled warmly sitting back up looking out the window. I was starting a new life with great people. I left my past behind me that day all of my troubles seemed to fade away. That was ten month's ago today. I was so busy I hadn't really thought about how much had changed since then. I was still working for the guy's but not as closely. Kevin still remained my closest friend from the group. They were getting ready to start their tour. I would be joining them midway in their tour. There I would remain until it was over. I was a bit worried about being around them so much. I had been really upset when I had stopped being around them so much. I had gotten really close to Kevin thought more could have happened. Then I was pulled out and put on another bands case. Thing's had not gone well with that group. I was still at war with their lead singer.
I was trying to put that as far behind me as I could. I hadn't seen the guy's in months I had talked to them a lot I just hadn't seen them. I had talked with their new PR agent a few times. They were driving him up a wall with little effort. He had talked Kevin and Brian both into acting like they were married. Kevin had called me that night and asked what he should do. I didn't know what to tell him that was the truth. I wanted to tell him that he shouldn't that he could be happier. I wanted to scream that I loved him with all my heart. I didn't I told him what I was told to tell him. I just couldn't tell him unless he felt the same way. I couldn't lose him not now or ever I would die. I was still in the music business and still new to it. I looked out for myself and his music career. I had to push my heart out of the way. Later that week Nick called me up crying his eye's out. I had talked to him for hours on end trying to calm him down. I felt so badly about what was going on. I was thinking about going to help them myself. I was talked out of it by Rachel who had been put on the new band as well. We both hated them with a passion. I was just a little more childish about it. I pulled so many prank's on their lead singer he didn't know which way to turn. He still didn't know I was to blame for what happened to his hair. I had switched his shampoo with that of hair straightener. He ran to get a perm before his fan's saw it.
I was doing thing's that most people would be fired for. The only reason I got away with it was simple. I knew how to cover my tracks better than most. Well, I can't take all the credit Nick helped plan a little of it. I hadn't told him who it was being played on. He didn't seem to care as long as I told him how it went. Rachel walked into my small office smiling. "I'm taking you to get a hair cut, and I'm treating you to lunch." She said walking behind me. "I don't need a hair cut it look's just fine." I stated turning toward her frowning. She sighed and gave me the 'Mom' look that I had learned to hate. "Ok fine but I chose what style." She seemed to cheer up at that. I clocked out for lunch and went to her car. We drove for ten minutes before we reached the place she had an appointment at. I hated how she knew she would get her way with me. I sat in the chair and looked threw the book's they had. They had ton's of pictures of Nick's latest hair styles. I chose one of his the shorter look. Rachel was happy with my choice for once. After that was all over with I went to a weird little cafe. "So are you going to be joining me and the boy's?" I asked looking up from the menu. "Yes, I believe I will but only for a week" I frowned at that I really like Rachel. She kept me sane when there was no one else could.
I ordered my food and waited on Rachel for a few minutes. Something was on her mind she was taking way to long. She ordered a bloody mary and a salad a very strange order. We didn't talk while we waited for our order. I got my food first and started eating. After Rachel had drank three drink's I was really starting to worry. "Spit it out did I get fired or something?" I was beyond scared at this point. "No, you not fired it's just I got a phone call a few hours ago." I was now a bit confused I didn't understand why she would be so nervous. "It was your sister, she said your father had passed away. I didn't know how to tell you I'm sorry." I didn't know what to think or do. I hadn't thought about my family in so long. I wasn't hungry anymore and I felt tears on my cheeks. I slowly stood and backed away from the table. I ran out of the cafe before Rachel could react or stop me. I just didn't know what to feel or do. I couldn't go back I had promised myself that. A few hour's later I found myself in a park near a pond. I was still crying but I didn't know why. My pager had been going off nonstop since I had left Rachel. I always found that water calmed me down. It wasn't helping right now I just kept searching for help. I knew I had to get back to work if I wanted to keep my job. I called a cab and waited for thirty minutes.
It took that long to calm down enough to stop the tears. I walked back into my office a little past four. I started working and didn't want to stop until I didn't feel anymore. When I clocked out at ten the building my empty. I went home and straight to bed it was a restless night. The next morning I called Rachel and begged her to forgive me on her answering service. I hung up and took a shower so I could get ready for work. I put on my suite I hadn't worn in months. I always dressed up when I was depressed I couldn't help it. Once I got to work I went straight to my office. Someone was waiting there for me. His back was turned away from me, he was talking to Rachel. I walked in looking at her with the 'what's up' look. She smiled pointing toward me. The man turned around looking into my eyes. It was Kevin in my office waiting. I was so touched that words can't begin to state how I felt. He walked up and gave me warm hug. I didn't want to let go in fact I held on till he pulled away. I was crying again softly but still crying. I closed to the door to my office shutting the rest of the world out.
**********Kevin
Once I got the call from Rachel I got on the next flight to LA I got in late at night and still she hadn't heard from him. I knew that he had to be going threw at that point. I was beyond worried about him so were the guys. We still called him first if there was a problem. Not that we had many problems that is. He had always been there for from day one. He had saved my career even when my heart was telling me other wise. I remember that night so clearly. I had told the other guy's how I felt about Tom. Brian was behind me all the way so was AJ. Then the new PR guy said we should fake a marriage. I was so out of it I called him hoping he'd give me a reason to say no. Like the good friend he was he told me how to save myself. I wanted to scream at him that night, I wanted to tell him how much I loved him. I didn't so thing's went on as planed. I cried that night know I might have lost him forever. Brian still got on my case for not telling him how I felt. I just couldn't do that unless I knew he felt the same way. I didn't want to risk losing what I had with him now.
When I held him in my arm's it just felt so right. I didn't want to let go but I knew I had to. Someone could walk by at any second and think the wrong thing. So I pulled away it took everything I had to do so. I tilted his chin and looked into his eyes. It was like his eye's were on fire. I had never seen such beautiful eyes in my life. They were so green right then they didn't look human. I heard the door close but really didn't see it. Rachel walked up behind me and tapped on my shoulder. I turned facing her almost knocking her down. "Listen you two catch up I have work to do." As she was talking she was opening the door. Then it closed and she was gone leaving me with Tom all alone. I had always kept someone around when I was around Tom. I was scared of what I might say or do. He walked over to his desk and sat down looking up at me. I took a seat on his desk letting my legs hang down. I was facing him with my leg's over the draw. "So what's new did find a boyfriend?" I knew I was here to talk to him about his father. I just had to know a few thing's first.
He looked up and laughed at me smiling while tears dropped from his eyes. "No, I haven't Boo you know damn well theirs only." He let it trail off and I so wanted him to finish it. I changed the subject as quick as I could. "How are you holding up so far." He looked up again his eye's brimming with tears. "I don't know how to feel I know he hated me. I know that most of my family hates me. I still miss him and I don't know why." He was crying so hard at that point. I pulled him into my arms and held him there. I knew I was in love with him. I guess I fell in love with him that first night. I still remember the way he treated me in the gym. I wasn't anyone important just a somebody who rented the gym. Then when we talked that night I had found so many things out about him. He didn't want pity he didn't want anything but what he earned. He was honest with himself and others no matter the cost. I did feel pity but not for him. I felt pity for the person who would hurt him. The guy's and I would tear them apart in no time flat. Nick even liked to watch over him since he was slightly older than him. I was having a hard time controlling myself just then. I wanted to pull him up and kiss him. I wanted to take all of his pain away.
The other guy's were coming in tonight to help Tom. He was like apart of our family a good part. My parents hadn't taken my being Bi well. None of the parents did for that matter, but that didn't stop them from loving us. I placed my hand under Tom's chin and rased it up slightly. "We'll get threw this I promise you won't be alone." He just looked into my eyes nodding. He made my heart melt when he did that. He pulled away and tried to pull himself together. It wasn't working to well so I helped him. He was shaking lightly under my touch. "I have some papers I need to get out." He was looking at his desk like it was the first time he had saw it. "Don't worry about that right now Rachel told me she's going to take over for a bit. You also have two week's off paid of coarse. So let's get you home so you can rest a little while. The guy's are coming in later today then we have to have a serious talk." I told him guiding him toward the door. All the time he did was nod. I took him to my rental and asked for the directions to his apartment. His voice was a little shaky but understandable and clear. I drove into the parking lot and looked around. I knew Tom could afford better than this place. Well, I had thought he could maybe he wasn't getting paid his worth. I didn't know but I was going to have a talk with the higher ups.
Once I got him into the apartment I looked around. The place was spotless and looked great. You would never know from the way the outside of the building looked. I got him into the shower and left him alone for a bit. I called Brian's cell phone hoping he was on the way. "Brian it's Kev, have you guy's left yet?" I was looking toward the bathroom. "Yes, were on the way, how's he doing so far?" I didn't want to tell them the shape he was in. "Not to good he needs us now. To tell you the truth I've never seen someone so bad off. I'm really worried about him you have to hurry." I was trying not to cry at this point. I think Brian heard it, and promised he would call as soon as the plane touched down. I was grateful for that more than he knew. I hung up and walked toward the bathroom. I heard soft sobs coming from the other side of the door. "Tom are you all right in there?" I didn't want to just walk in on him. He didn't answer at first so I was about to walk in. "I'm ok Kev I'm just trying to pull myself together." He stated it so simply like he turned off what he was feeling. I knew that wasn't healthy but I wasn't about to push him. I needed the guy's bad I didn't trust myself with him. I knew what I felt and what I wanted. I was just worried about the consciences of my actions.
He walked out of the bathroom and went straight to his room. He walked back into the living room in sweats. I was watching carefully now and seen that he had changed slightly. His body was more built and a bit leaner. His hair was shorter and almost looked like Nick's. Only he didn't need the highlights Nick used on his hair. From the time I had seen him naked. I knew he didn't have much hair on his body. His chest was bare so was his butt cheek's, legs, and his arms. He was the most beautiful man I had ever seen. I didn't understand why he didn't have anyone. He was like someone sent from heaven to save the world. Now he looked more human than he use to. I use to see a carefree out going innocent guy. The perfect guy now I saw that he wasn't perfect that he was just as human as I was. I took a seat beside him and put my arm over his shoulder. He leaned into my embrace letting his head rest on my chest. After a little while of just sitting the I heard him breathing deeply. I looked to make sure he was asleep. I kissed his forehead and laid back on the couch. I soon drifted off to sleep to I was content.
It was four hour's later when my cell phone started ringing. I almost jumped off the couch if it weren't for something on my chest. I looked down and remembered where I was. He was still asleep his arms were wrapped tightly around me. "Hello" I whispered into the phone. "Kev, it's Bri were here at the airport. I need some directions to where were going." I gave him the address and apartment number and hung up. Thirty minutes later I heard a knocking on the door. I pulled free of Tom and got the door opening it slowly. The guy's marched in with worried look's on their faces. Tom was still asleep I didn't know how he was sleeping like that. Nick went by his side placing his hand on his shoulder. "Tommy were here, you want to wake up now?" Nick looked so sweet doing that. "Nicky, I miss him and it hurts." I had tears forming in my eyes. Tom pulled Nick into his arm and started crying again. Brian looked like he was biting his fist. AJ had a total look of pain crossing his face. Howie was shaking his head slightly frowning. Nick looked up to me tears falling down his face. I had seen Nick cry before but not for someone else. Brian pulled me out of the living room. "He's worse than what you said Kevin. What haven't you told us?" I didn't really know what to tell him. "He's been like that all day he brakes down every few minutes. For a second I thought he was closing up. He didn't he just went to sleep in my arms. I'm really worried and, I don't know if taking him to see his father, is such a good idea now." I looked back toward the living room.
Brian was pacing back and forth looking very much like his own father. He looked like he was about to say something then stop. "I don't know what to do Kev, I mean I can come up with a hundred reasons why not. I still keep coming back to he should say his good byes." He shrugged and took a seat on a counter. I had the same thoughts running around in my own head. "We should ask him what he want's to do." It was the most simple answer to the problem. I just didn't know if it was wise at this point. Brian nodded and walked back into the living room. Tom was sitting up and he looked fine. He had shut his emotions down again. Howie had this really worried look on his face. AJ wasn't looking to much better either. Nick didn't seem to understand that what Tom was doing was a bad thing. Tom smiled up at me almost looking past me. At first I missed it but then I saw his eyes they looked dead. No, It wasn't dead more lost and closed off like nothing could make it past. I was scared that I could admit without a problem. What I couldn't admit is how mad I was getting. "Tom like I said a little while ago we need to talk. The guy's and myself think it would be nice if we took you to say your good byes. That way your not alone and you to say what you have to. It's your choice all the way if you don't want to go that's cool. We'll just hang around until your ok again." I looked at AJ to see if he agreed.
All the guy's were nodding to my relief so I looked back into his eyes. Still that look of emptiness hang there as he looked back. "That would be good I could do that. On one condition you never leave my side. None of you not for a second. If one has to use the restroom will all go." I nodded looking to the other guy's. Everything was going fine so far. "Does that mean you get to hold Mr. Happy while I go?" Nick asked out of the blue it caught everyone off guard. Tom started laughing a real laugh not a fake one. Everyone joined him while Nick just smiled to himself. I would have to thank Nick for that later on down the road. After everyone calmed down enough to breath Tom stood up. "Now were going to have a slight problem. I have enough beds for everyone, but your all going to have to double up. The couch folds out and I have a guest bedroom." He was looking around at all of us waiting for us to decide. "I think Nick and Brian should get my room. While AJ and Kevin take the couch, Howie can have the guest room, and I'll take the floor." I couldn't believe what I was hearing neither could the guys. "Wait a second you should have your own room I'll take the floor." I said moving to Brian's side hoping he would agree. "Or you and Kevin could take your room, while AJ and Howie take the guest room, me and Nick could take the couch." Howie was nodding and I could have killed Brian just then.
Tom didn't seem to mind sharing his bed with me. I didn't bring anything to sleep in since I was going to get a room. "Do you have anything I can barrow to sleep in?" He looked up and smiled. "I don't know I never did see those shorts again or that shirt." He said tossing me a pair of shorts. I swear the man had shorts in spades. If I hadn't already seen his closet I would think it's all he had. I went and changed in the bathroom. When I walked back into the room Tom was doing sit up's. He had a pair of shorts on that looked really tight. I walked to the bed and slipped under the sheets. After about ten minutes Tom climbed in beside me. He was tossing and turning so much I didn't think I was going to get any sleep. "Kevin I know this is kinda weird for me to ask. But could you please hold me?" It was almost a whisper and I had to pinch myself. I wanted to make sure I wasn't dreaming. I pulled him into my arms and laid in a spoon position. In second's I could hear deep breathing. Not long after I drifted off myself not wanting to wake for a while.
There was a knocking on the bedroom door. I tried to ignore it but who ever it was kept on knocking. I opened my eye's slow looking to Tom his back wasn't facing me anymore. His lip's were only a few inch's away from mine. All I had to do was lean in just a little. I pulled myself away from him slowly not wanting to wake him. I slowly walked to the door and opened it slightly. Brian was waiting on the other side smiling. "Still want to kill me?" My jaw dropped and I opened to the door the rest of the way. He looked down still smiling brightly. "Well, it's look's like someone else is awake as well." I couldn't seem to speak at that point in time. I just looked at Brian and gave him the dirtiest look I could. He just smiled and went back out into the living room. I was starting to think I was being set up. I closed the door and went back to bed. I laid there for a short time thinking. Tom was starting to wake up his hands reached out. I felt his arms wrapping around me slowly. I leaned into this time I laid my head on his chest. I could hear his heart beating. I had to think about thing's I didn't want to. For one I had always saw him as something more than human. I didn't know why I just had I thought of him as an angel. As I let those thought's continue I realized he had always looked unreal to me.
I was going to have to get to know him better before I asked him out. I would have to stop seeing him as something more than human. I had to love him for himself not a image that I saw. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I looked at him and saw everything our fan's saw in us. I knew more about him than our fan's knew about us. Or did I was I fooling myself in some weird way. There were people out there that knew more about us than I could remember. Every second I laid in his arm's I knew more about myself. I was starting to make myself sick. I had never really looked at him long enough to see him. I had only seen what I wanted to. Now I turned toward him and looked really close. There was a very small scar above his eye brow. I had never seen that before until this second. The more I thought about it I was starting to scare myself. Sure anyone could miss a scar but there was more. I looked at his lip's to see the shape of them. They were wonderful lip's but his lower lip was a darker red than his top lip. I had always seen two perfect red lip's. I was going to have to start looking at him with new eyes. No matter what I saw I would still love him. It would just be a pure love that didn't mask thing's. He opened his eye's and smiled at me brightly. "Morning handsome I wonder if there's any coffee?" I just smiled at him with new eyes.
**************Tom
I was feeling a lot better than I was the night before. I had my friends with me and they promised I wouldn't be alone. I could face an army if they were there to stand at my side. I was going to be facing an army shortly. I was going to face the family that hated me. I was slowly sitting up pulling my arms away from Kevin. It had been a wonderful feeling being held. I wanted that feeling more often than what I was getting it. If that meant asking Kevin out than so be it. If he refused I would move on not that day but someday. I was going to wait a little while before I asked him. I wanted to be in my right mind when I did. That way if he turned me down I wouldn't lose my mind. I got out of bed slowly noticing that Kevin wasn't following me. I shrugged it off and put my sweat on taking my shorts off before. I walked out of the room humming to myself. I smelt food cooking and got really worried. I rushed into the kitchen to see Brian and AJ at the helm. It helped my nerves a little knowing Nick wasn't trying to help out. The last time he had tried to cook we had to get a new bus. I was not up to looking for a new apartment. Brian turned and looked at me while flipping a pancake. I was impressed to say the least so I nodded my approval.
I left them to finish what they were doing to check on everyone else. Someone was in shower I didn't know who since I hadn't seen Nick or Howie yet. I knocked on the door softly then a little louder. "Yeah" Nick shouted opening the door a crack. "Their cooking without you again." I know it was a bit evil but it was a game we played. I always made sure the food was so close to being done that he couldn't help. His eyes widened slightly then he stormed out of the bathroom. He didn't bother to grab a towel either I was a bit surprised. "Ok that's never happened before" I said to myself walking in the bathroom. I striped down and jumped in the shower. I heard someone knocking on the door. "I'm not giving it back Nick you left it wide open." I told him laughing to myself all the while. The door opened all the way and I saw that it wasn't Nick. Kevin stood there grinning he had a cup of water in his hands. I wasn't laughing any more I was doing my best puppy dog face. "That's not going to save to Tom." He moved toward the shower to dump the water on me. I opened the curtain and sprayed him with water. He jumped back soaked to the bone. I was smiling looking at him in his now soaked shorts. "Oh, you are so going to pay for that." Kevin shouted diving toward me with his ice water. We were having a small fight in the shower. He hand me in a head lock while I had his leg pulling it upward.
TO BE CONTINED............