Disclaimer: This is totally fiction and is not meant to imply anything about the sexuality of any Backstreet Boy. I personally do not know any of the Backstreet Boys and therefore make no assumptions on their personalities. If you are too young to read this or if homesexuality offends you, then please do not continue any further and leave.
Hey what's up y'all? Well, this is my first story ever. I'm not a very good writer, so you'll have to forgive me. I actually got inspiration for this story from a dream of mine, I hope you like it. Oh, and about the bar's name, I couldn't think of anything else, so it's a stupid name. Email me at a2jm2@hotmail.com to comment or give suggestions or whatever. Well, on with the story. Hope you enjoy!
The Love I Always Wanted - Ch. 1
It was a beautiful, hot late July day - my first day in Florida. I was very excited. In a few weeks, I would start a new life. College. It seemed so scary when I was younger, but I couldn't wait to get started. Oh, you're probably wondering who I am right? Well, my name is Joshua Cassell, and I'm 18 years old. I'm about 5'5(a shortie!), i have brown eyes, and I'm pretty muscular. Overall, I'd say I have a good body, but what do I know? Oh, and I'm gay(duh!). Anyways, I had arrived today at Orlando International Airport, to be greeted by my best friend Antonio. Now, I must say, Antonio is a pretty attractive man, but our relationship always stayed at the best friend stage, probably because he had a kid with his girlfriend when he was younger. Back to the story though. Both of us were going to the same college and were going to be roomates. He, however, had come several months earlier because his grandmother lived there. So here I come strolling out of the terminal with all my bags.
Antonio comes up to me and says, in a rather dull tone, "Hey."
"Well gee, I'm glad to see you too! What's wrong?"
"My girlfriend broke up with me, and she's not gonna let me see my kid anymore. She said it'll be too hard with us living so far away."
"I'm sorry," I said. I stood there dazed for a few seconds, then said "Why don't we got bar hopping tonight? It'll take your mind off of your ex-girlfriend, you can show me around town, and who knows, maybe you'll find someone new?" I looked over at him, and a slight smile had appeared.
"That sounds like a good idea, why don't we go home and I'll call a few friends and we could all go."
"Sure," I said. As we walked to his car, Antonio's grin had grown, I could tell he wasn't so worried anymore.
It was now a beautiful, hot late July night - 9:00 to be exact. I had just finished getting dressed in his grandma's guest room(did I mention i was staying at his grandma's too?) when Antonio walked in.
"Hey, you about done?" he said.
"Just about, I just need to put some cologne on in case I meet any hotties, then I'm done."
"Well, hurry the hell up. I would like to go soon ya know."
I finished getting ready and walked out of my room, shutting the door. "Here I come!" I yelled at the top of my lungs right when I walked into the living room. He introduced me to some of his friends, none of which seemed slightly interesting to me. After we were all done with that, we were on our way to our first stop - a bar called "The Devil's Hotspot." That name wasn't too appealing to me, but I thought "what the hell?" So anyways, we walk into this bar, and to me it looked pretty freaky, so I immediately suggested we leave and go to another. Antonio's stupid friends wanted to stay, though, so we did. And that's when I started drinking. And drinking. And drinking even more. So, by the time we were on our way to the next bar about 2 hours later, I was blitzed. Literally. Our next stop was a little bar not too far from a rich neighborhood. Well, since I was already extremely drunk and not feeling so well, I decided just to drink some water at the counter while the rest of the gang sat getting extremely drunk at a table not too far away. As I'm sitting there drinking my boring glass of water, this guy walks in and sits right next to me, orders a shot, and then puts his head on the counter. By that time, he had started to cry to himself.
Although normally shy, I got up the courage to talk to this guy. "Hey buddy, you ok?"
"Yeah, I'll be fine," he said while keeping his head on the counter.
"Umm, listen," I replied, "why don't we go to a coffee shop or something and talk about it. We don't know each other, but I'm sure you'll feel better if you talk about it." If I wasn't drunk, I might have been freaked out at this point, considering I don't usually talk to strangers. He did look pretty normal, however. Well from the top of his head he did.
"Well, drinking does usually make me sick, I don't know why I'm doing it. A cup of coffee sounds good," the stranger replied.
At that point, I extended my hand "I'm Josh" I said.
He took my hand and shook it "I'm Brian."
"Well, Brian," I said "shall we go? Do you wanna take a cab?"
He looked at the door, then at me and said "Well, I have a car. We could go in that if you want."
I stopped and thought for a second, then said "Umm, I know this sounds crazy, but are you a murderer or something. Cuz you know I'm young and stuff and frankly, I don't wanna die yet." By that time, the alcohol's effect was starting to wear off and I was starting to get a little itchy.
He looked at me with a small grin on his face, "No, I'm not. Though sometimes I think it would be preferable to living the life I live."
"Umm, ok, as long as you don't chop me up into a million pieces and scatter me in the forest to let the dogs and wolves eat what's left of me."
He let out a giggle and said "Well, for one thing, I don't think dogs live in a forest. And for another, I don't like blood, so I can guarantee you I won't chop you up."
"Well, ok then. Let's go."
We drove for about ten minutes until we came up to this nice little coffee shop, which seemed deserted. We got out of the car and headed in. Brian then requested the table, and we promptly placed our orders.
We sat there for a few minutes, neither of us saying anything, waiting for our food, until finally Brian said "You know, I'm not too sure about this. I mean, I hardly even know you. And this is pretty sensitive information, and I know what would happen if it got out."
After he said that, he looked down at his hands. You could tell that whatever he was hiding, it was killing him inside. So, after a few seconds, I said to him "Well, it's up to you if you wanna talk. But if you wanna talk about it, I'll be glad to listen, and give you advice if you want. And don't worry about me telling anyone, they aren't my problems to be telling."
He looked up and said "Well, its killing me and I need to tell someone. Can I trust you?"
I gave him a small smile and replied "Absolutely."
We glanced into each other's eyes, him looking for any sign of deception, and me getting lost in those beautiful blue orbs that seemed to almost suck me in.
"Ok, here goes," he said. "Well, to make a long story short, what happened is that my wife and I are getting a divorce because she found out something about me. I don't know what I'm gonna do."
"Oh, I'm sorry. I don't mean to pry or anything, but this thing about you can't be that major that made her want a divorce."
He huffed, then said "Believe me, it's major."
"Do you wanna tell me. I mean, it's perfectly ok if you don't, but you can get if off your chest."
He sat there with an absent gaze, and began to speak when our food arrived. He shut up and waited for the server to leave before he started to talk again.
"Are you sure I can trust you?"
"Well, that's up to you. Do you wanna trust me?"
"Yeah, I do."
"Well, go ahead then."
At that point, he had returned his gaze to his hands, and in a very small voice said "I'm gay."
To say the least, I was shocked. He looked up at me for fear I was gonna run out and tell whomever he didn't want me to tell, but I just sat there, thinking.
"I see," was all I could up with to say.
"Listen, Josh, if you're uncomfortable, I could leave. But I would appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone about this."
"No, no," I replied, "it's just that it was a bit of a shock for me. So that's why your wife wants a divorce?"
"Yeah"
"Did you have an affair or something?" I said before thinking. "I mean, that is if you want to tell me if had an affair or something."
He gave a small chuckle and said "No, I didn't."
"Well, then frankly I don't understand your wife, and I'm not even gonna try. So do you feel better now?"
He looked deeply into my eyes and said "Yeah, I do."
I looked back into his eyes, and there we sat just staring into one another.
It was so peaceful to look into those beautiful blue eyes that I didn't even notice that the server had come with our check and was repeatedly calling out 'Sir.'
He blinked, then turned to the server and said "I'll be taking care of that." After he paid, he said "So, are you ready to go?"
"Yeah, I'm actually getting kind of tired and I'm sure Antonio...Oh shit!"
"What?"
"I don't have a ride home."
"I can give you a ride home," Brian said.
"No, you can't. See, I don't know where home is. I'm staying at my best friends grandmothers house and I don't know how to get there. And, I don't know the number. Do you think you can take me to a hotel?"
"Umm, if you want, you can stay at my house. It's really big and with my wife gone, I'm all alone."
"Are you sure, I mean because I don't wanna inconvience you," I said rather sheepishly.
"Yeah, it's cool. I have plenty of guest rooms, and tomorrow you can try to get a hold of your friend."
After that, we got up and left the quaint little coffee shop. When we arrived at his house, I was astonished. "Nice house. I bet it cost a fortune huh?"
We drove into his rather big garage. We then headed into the house. It was beautiful. It wasn't really fancy, but it was still pretty nice. His walls were white and baby blue, with various things hanging on the wall. I stopped to take a look at this rather weird looking thing that looked like a old record or something. On the record it said: 'For sale of 10,000,000 albums in the United States, this Diamond Award goes to Brian T. Littrell, of the Backstreet Boys.' I then thought, 'Oh my god, I'm in the house of Brian Littrell!!!! Why didn't I recognize him??? Ohwell, just don't make a fool of yourself!!!!'
I turned to Brian, who was checking his messages, and stuttered "Umm, so Bri-Brian, umm so like ya, umm, nev-never-mind."
He turned to me, and gave me this confused look. "Is everything ok?"
"Yes, of course it's ok. Why wouldn't I be ok? You think just because you're famous means that I can't be ok? You think just because your a Backstreet Boy gives you the right to think that I wouldn't be ok?"
His confused look turned into a big grin, and in my head I was saying 'Good going, bone head!!.' "I see you found out who I was? Look, just because I'm famous or rich, doesn't mean I'm not human. As you obviously know. So just relax and everything will be ok."
"Umm, ok."
"So are you tired, because I'm gonna head up to bed. I can show you your room."
We proceeded upstairs, and after he showed me my room, he bid me goodnight and thanked me. After removing my clothing except my boxers, I fell unto the bed, slowly drifting off to sleep, thinking about the nights events, and during it all, two words were repeated in my mind: 'He's gay...'
5:30am. 5:30am. 5:30am. As I awoke, for some unknown reason, I looked at the blinking numbers on the alarm clock. 5:30am. 5:30am. 5:30am. I got up out of bed, and headed for Brian's kitchen. I was really thirsty and could go for a glass of water. When I got to the kitchen, I noticed an unusual sound coming from the living room. As I walked into the living room, I noticed the huge sliding doors that led to a porch that overlooked the beautifully landscaped backyard, complete with a swimming pool and basketball court, trees and bushes, grass and flowers, were opened. I also saw the origin of the noise - Brian was standing on the porch sobbing, in his boxer-briefs(woohoo!). I walked out onto the porch. Brian was looking out into the yard, his back facing me. The sun was distant, almost ready to peak over the horizon in the distance.
"Are you ok? Is there anything you want me to do? Leave you alone, maybe?" I said with a small hint of a smile on my face.
"Actually, there is something you can do for me," he said in a low tone, he hadn't turned around yet.
"What?"
"It's ok if you don't want to, I understand."
"Tell me."
In a small voice he said, "will you hold me?"
I walked up to him and put my hands around his waist. Since he was taller than me, I turned my head and let my cheek rest against his smooth back.
"Thank you," he said, "you've been there for me more than anyone else."
"Your welcome. You're a really nice guy, and I'm sure one day you'll make one special guy happy."
"Perhaps one day," he muttered, as I continued to hold him, and the sun started to show in the far off horizon, showing the promise of another day, with both of us thinking 'When will I find the love I always wanted?'...
Well people that's the end! Email me to tell me what you think. My email address is a2jm2@hotmail.com. Well, peace out y'all!!