Jesse Hamill
This is a love story between two consenting males and contains sexual themes and graphic depictions of sexual acts. It is by no means a sex story, and focuses on the relationship and romance first. This is also work of fiction. All characters in this story are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
This is my first work for Nifty and any criticism, comments, improvements or thanks can be directed at jesse.hamill88@gmail.com. I appreciate all the comments and support that I've received so far, so thanks readers!
As always, a special thanks to Ash, my editor, and my beta reader Mattie. Both of your hard work is much appreciated by me and the readers. Thank you!
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The Love of Rainn: Chapter 11
Rainn just held onto Jesse and cried for what seemed like years. He never wanted to let go.
That sketchbook held everything that mattered to him. It held every joyous moment, every happy doodle, everything he saw fit to draw and remember in his life. It held every struggle, every downfall, every miserable, horrible moment he had ever experienced, too. When Rainn drew, painted, or sketched, he was creating something that needed to be said, or expressed, or captured. It was a wonderful occurrence to feel the creation flow from him. To hold a moment that he captured with his mind and then made with his hands, was a powerful experience.
However, it also was a painful to feel so much, to be enraptured in the beauty of it, to make everything so perfect. It wasn't so much that he wanted to draw (which he did), but it felt like he needed to do it. That he had to do it. To not create became more painful than creating, so he did as much as he could. It was who he was as an artist.
Jesse just held him close and didn't say anything. What could he convey to make Rainn feel better? What could he say to him? What could he do? Jesse knew the damage was done and he just let Rainn feel. Rainn just needed to cry. He needed to be hurt. He needed someone to hold him. Consolation would come eventually, but not right now.
Through the windows outside the shop, Jesse saw a silver car pull in to the store parking lot and park. Diana and Elise came through the door and were in the process of saying hello when they noticed that something was wrong. Jesse used one arm and gestured for them to wait while he led Rainn to the bathroom upstairs. He went in with him and looked into his eyes for a minute, seeing them so raw and empty.
"I'll... I'll be right back, okay?" Jesse said, consoling Rainn.
Rainn just nodded and let Jesse go. Jesse walked downstairs and Rainn sat on the toilet with the lid down. He wiped his eyes, blew his nose, and sighed several deep and shaky breaths. He didn't want to feel anymore and just sat there waiting for Jesse to return.
Jesse in the meantime went downstairs and explained what happened. He explained the confrontation between them and Mark. How Rainn's bag was stolen. And also, about the ruined sketchbook on the counter. Rainn could hear everything they were saying from where he sat.
When Jesse finished, Diana and Elise wanted to take action. As moms and caretakers, they immediately wanted to get ahold of parents, and hold Mark be accountable for his actions. Jesse knew firsthand from his past experiences that it would only make things worse, so he tried to stop them.
"It won't do any good! It'll just make things worse," he tried to explain to them.
"Jesse, we have to do something! That boy needs to be accountable for this!" Diana said.
"Yes! We have to call his parents! Who is he, again? I'll call right now," Elise said.
"I'm telling you it's no use!" Jesse said back. When he saw he was getting nowhere, he sighed and conceded a name. "Fine. If you have to do this... it was Mark Davis."
The name registered with Elise immediately. She turned to Diana and just shook her head.
"Diana, your son is right," she said to Jesse's mom. "It won't do us any good..."
"What do you mean?" Diana asked her.
Elise explained that Mark's home life was less than perfect and he had only his dad, a mean and abusive drunk. Telling Mark's dad to do something about it would only get dismissed. What did he care about Rainn's sketchbook? Nobody was physically hurt and that was that. Otherwise, if they did involved the police, it would only result in Mark getting beaten or abused. The situation was hopeless.
"Well, what do we do then?" Diana asked. "How do we stop this from happening again? How do we stop our sons from getting bullied or targeted?"
Jesse spoke up and explained that he used mace on him to stop the harassment and to protect themselves from being hurt.
"Why did you have mace?" Elise asked him.
"Because I was targeted at my old school," he explained. Diana just let him speak. She wasn't going to betray his confidence. He would tell Elise only if he wanted to.
Elise just looked at him, still lost. She couldn't imagine why such a charming, goodnatured, and handsome young man would be a target for anyone.
Jesse sighed. He would just have to say it. "I was targeted because... I'm... gay," he said, emotionally. "I... was almost... killed. I... couldn't let that happen to me or anyone else again."
Elise brought a hand to her mouth, and gasped at the thought of Jesse almost being murdered.
"I... never... wanted to... be in a situation like that again. So, I bought mace and took self-defense classes..." he said, choosing his words carefully. "I was just trying to protect us earlier."
"No one's questioning that, Jesse," Diana said to him. "I'm sure that you did what was necessary. I'm just still trying to process it all..."
"Where's Rainn?" Elise asked him.
"He's upstairs in the bathroom. I think he needed some time alone."
They all were silent for a while. Jesse excused himself to go check on him. Rainn could hear Jesse climbing the stairs and waited for his return. Rainn was still processing everything that was done and said. He felt numb. Like he was looking through a stranger's eyes, and couldn't process what had happened to him...
The door was still open, so Jesse knocked before sticking his head in. His face was still full of care and concern and that brought Rainn back over the edge. Tears began falling all over again as he ran to Jesse and held him close again. Jesse waited a few moments before he walked him out to the sofa. He knew Rainn was still hurting and feared he might collapse if he didn't get him to sit down.
He sat Rainn down carefully and brought him a cozy crocheted blanket to cover himself with. He was shaking and breathing hard. Jesse sat next to him and held him close, soothing him as best he could. Rainn held his face close to Jesse's heart. He never wanted to let go.
Diana and Elise had come upstairs by this time and reassured Rainn that everything was okay. Rainn's Gran hugged him and held him close, but afterwards he went back to Jesse.
Diana went to the kitchen and made everyone chamomile tea. Elise and Jesse drank theirs, but Rainn left his untouched. Elise wanted him to come home, but he didn't want to leave Jesse's side.
"Maybe it's better for him to have a friend close, at least for now," Diana said. "I think he just needs some time, Elise. It's fine if he stays the night... I'll keep an eye on him to make sure he's okay."
Elise hesitated for a moment before giving up. She could see that he was hurting. Elsie wanted him to come home. Elise wanted to be the one to comfort him, but she could see that Rainn wasn't going anywhere . It looked like he needed Jesse right now, and she could tell that Jesse really cared about him, too.
"There's a spare bedroom Elise, if you want to stay, too..." Diana added.
"Well... I think that might be best. Rainn needs to have friends and family close right now..." she said.
Rainn was feeling closer to normal now that he knew he could stay close to Jesse. That, and the fact that Gran would be right here if he needed her.
Diana and Elise went back to the kitchen and talked awhile. Jesse turned on the TV and they watched the news and a few late night talk shows. After a while, he felt Rainn snoozing gently in his arms. Diana and Elise checked on them a few times. Soon, Jesse was sleeping, too. He was still protecting Rainn in his embrace. Diana covered them both with another blanket before she lead Elise down the hall. She showed Elise to the small spare room where she would be sleeping.
"This was supposed to be my office, but we put in a bed, just in case company shows up," Diana said.
"This is perfectly fine, Diana. Thank you, you're much too kind..." Elise said.
"It's nothing...You're always welcome anytime," she said. "I'm going to stay awake for a while and keep an eye on the boys." She added, "Please make yourself at home and get some rest," noticing how tired Elise appeared.
"Thank you, Diana. You and your boy have been so kind to Rainn and me," Elise said taking her shoes off. She settled in and thanked Diana again.
Diana smiled and went back to the kitchen table. She had turned the TV off and made sure the boys were still sleeping soundly before grabbing a word search book. At about three in the morning, Diana felt too drowsy to continue. She had finished several puzzles and checked on them one last time before heading to bed herself.
Rainn slept in a dreamless sleep. Jesse was still holding him in his arms.
By chance, Rainn shifted and woke them both. Rainn could feel Jesse stirring, so he sat up.
"You... okay?" Jesse asked, groggily.
Rainn just nodded. They sat on the couch for a few moments before Jesse got up. Rainn grabbed his hand and pulled him back to the couch.
"...Don't leave..." he whispered.
"Okay..." Jesse said, sitting back down. He held Rainn in his arms again, but his bladder persisted. "Can I... use the bathroom?"
Rainn smiled and nodded. Jesse got up and went down the hall. Rainn could hear him and waited for him to come back. The sink, where Jesse was washing his hands, was audible in the quiet apartment. Rainn could also hear the gentle snoring his Gran made. He was feeling better, but still wanted Jesse close.
Jesse returned a few minutes later and Rainn held him close again. Rainn could hear Jesse's heartbeat as he rested his head on Jesse's chest.
"I'm... better," Rainn whispered. "You have been so kind to me... Since the first time I met you..."
"I just didn't want you to get hurt...either time..." Jesse whispered back.
They laid there listening to the sounds of the apartment and one another's breathing.
"I promise you..." Jesse whispered, "that I'll... always have your back. I'll never let anything happen to you... ever again..."
"...I wasn't sure... how you felt... about me," Rainn said. "If we were just friends... or..."
"...Me either... but, I..." Jesse hesitated. "I've... really... liked you. Since the first time we met."
Rainn looked up into Jesse's eyes and held him closer. "Me, too..." Rainn finally managed.
They said nothing after that. Jesse pulled Rainn in closer and rubbed his back. Rainn smiled. He felt at peace and drifted back to sleep. Jesse just let him rest and listened to his easy breathing before falling to sleep again, too. They both slept soundly the rest of that night.
Jesse was always an early riser, and woke as daybreak came through the windows. Rainn was still laying close to him, so he carefully got up. He didn't want to disturb Rainn's sleep.
Jesse carefully went into his room grabbed a change of clothes. His once clean white t-shirt was covered in dirt and grime from where he attempted to rescue the sketchbook. Jesse showered and changed before going back to his room. Jesse sat and mediated a bit like he did every morning, burning cedar incense, and silently repeating mantras for each bead on his mala.
He finished and thought about cooking everyone a hearty breakfast. Jesse went to the kitchen started frying bacon and mixing pancake batter. He diced some apples and cooked them in a skillet with butter and brown sugar. He put some coffee to brew and got out some juice.
Before long, everyone was waking to the sounds and smells of a delicious breakfast. They all came to the kitchen and sat at the table while Jesse poured them coffee. He set out some cream and sugar and got down some glasses for the juice. Jesse served them three pancakes each with a healthy portion of apples on top. He drained the bacon before setting it on a plate and putting it on the table. He put out butter and maple syrup before sitting down to join them.
They all helped themselves and complimented Jesse on his cooking. Rainn was happy and feeling better. They shared a wonderful morning with conversation, good food, and good company.
Elise and Rainn stayed the whole morning. They were enjoying their stay and the new friends that they had in Diana and Jesse. Together they felt like family, and they decided to spend the day together in the park. It would be a nice change of scenery and the fresh air would do everyone some good, especially Rainn.
Before noon hit, Rainn and Elise decided to head home to freshen up and change clothes. He was reluctant to leave Jesse's side, but went with Gran anyway. He felt grimy in yesterday's clothes and wanted to shower and change. As he headed downstairs, he gathered his few remaining pieces of art and his ruined bag and sketchbook. Rainn decided he needed to put it all past him, so he just tossed all of it.
Gran and Rainn headed home. In their own bathrooms, Elise took a bubble bath and Rainn showered. Rainn had a hard time picking what to wear, but settled for his red hoodie, a grey shirt, and light-blue jeans. Elise changed into a floral print dress, a blouse, and a white shawl. They drove to the park to meet Jesse and Diana after a light lunch. Rainn and Jesse smiled as they saw each other and went walking together on the trail. Diana and Elise sat on a bench and watched their sons as they talked.
"They're going to be best friends forever, now," Elise said.
"You know... I think they're more than friends... I'm not sure, but it sure looks that way," Diana said.
"They do look so happy..." Rainn's Gran said. "If they are going to be together, it'd be a bit fast, but... I'm glad Rainn has someone looking out for him. He's had such a lonely time recently..."
"Jesse too. We had a rough time leaving our last home," Diana said. "I didn't think he'd ever be happy again... He never was comfortable making friends of any kind. Too scared to get hurt, I suppose..."
They talked to each other and accepted the situation for what it was. Rainn and Jesse were in love and nothing would come between them. They had each other now, and that was fine. They were also good kids, both of them. Together they could look out for one another and keep each other safe.
On the other side of the park, Jesse and Rainn were having a similar conversation.
"How... did you... know?" Rainn asked Jesse.
"Honestly... I didn't. I just... hoped," he said. "I'm just happy I was right," Jesse replied.
"What does your mom think? Did she know?"
"She found out when we moved here. She's fine with it as long as I'm happy," Jesse said. "What about your Gran?"
"I'm... not sure. I think Gran knew, but I know she loves me and accepts whatever makes me happy. Honestly, I thought that Emily was the only one that knew..." Rainn said.
"Wait a minute... the waitress!?" Jesse asked.
"Yeah..." Rainn said, laughing.
"Hmm... I think that explains a lot from the other night." Jesse said.
"You don't know half the story..." Rainn hinted.
"Oh, no? I think you better start talking!" Jesse said, looking into Rainn's gorgeous eyes.
"I don't think I can! Emily will never forgive me!" Rainn said, laughing.
"Spill the beans mister! I swear, I'll tickle you!" Jesse said, holding Rainn and working his hands under Rainn's arms. He tickled him and laughed as Rainn tried to tickled him back. It wasn't much use, though, as Jesse was much better at it than Rainn was.
"Okay! Okay! I give up!" Rainn said, laughing himself pink.
"Yes! I win!" Jesse said, "Now spill!"
Rainn started his story, telling Jesse everything. He recounted how Emily figured out he was gay, that he had a crush on Jesse, and about all the ridiculous things she put Rainn through to see if Jesse liked him back.
"She took a picture of me!? Looking at you??" Jesse was blushing furiously.
"Well, of you looking at a PART of me!" Rainn said, giggling. "You're so red right now! Too cute!"
"...I'm so embarrassed..." Jesse said covering his face. Rainn loved the fact that Jesse blushed with affection. It made him more approachable, more human, more totally cute!
Rainn moved closer and moved Jesse's hands away from his face. Jesse's eyes were wide in surprise. Jesse's hands were strong and warm. Rainn held them gently, his own hands nervous and a little shaky.
Am I.... holding his hands? Rainn thought, excitedly. His heart was beating fast. Did he... dare?
Rainn leaned in, but lost his balance and slipped in Jesse's arms and chest. Jesse caught him and held him close.
"Are you okay?" Jesse asked.
"....yeah..." Rainn replied. He was in fact okay. Better than okay, in Jesse's arms. He held Jesse and hugged him close. Jesse smiled and held him closer. They stayed like that for a while and watched the afternoon fade away.
As evening approached, they walked back to where Diana and Elise were sitting. The day had been perfect, but unfortunately, there was school in the morning.
It was time to go. Rainn and Jesse went their separate ways, missing each other as soon as they headed to their own homes. At least they would see each other at school tomorrow.
Author's note: There we are. Eleven chapters, but it was well worth it. Hope you liked it. More to follow...
:0)
Copyright Jesse Hamill and nifty.org 2015. All rights reserved.