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-DurtyRiter
The Man with the Jeep
Chapter 46
Andrew's mind spun. How is this even possible? Leave it to John to come up with something like this!
But that was only the first split second: Andrew's attention was quickly diverted to the dueling sensations from his ass and cock as John moved himself up and down. Since they were obviously moving at the same pace, he could feel John's ass milking his cock just as he could feel his own ass being stretched by John. It was almost like fucking yourself. And it was hot.
John was thankfully taking it nice and slow so they didn't mash their balls too badly and Andrew was conscious that they couldn't go very deep, physics being what they are. Even though both dicks were bent down at the base to make it happen, neither had trouble staying hard. He was proudly grateful that they were both long enough to pull it off at all, because it was profoundly bonding.
John kept at it for admirable amount of time, considering he was essentially doing squats on one leg, but it wasn't super long before the intensity of the moment started to catch up to them and Andrew began to feel the beginnings of that unstoppable train of orgasm.
John either felt the same thing or could sense it in Andrew, because he suddenly lifted off and spun himself around, swinging his couch leg through Andrew's splayed limbs to land on the floor. He stepped over Andrew with his other leg so he straddled his body and faced him before grabbing Andrew's cock and sitting back onto it.
Being upside down, Andrew didn't have much leverage to participate, but he quickly grabbed John's meat and stroked it apace while John drilled himself with Andrew's cock. He experimented with different pressures until he got the right reaction from John: a gasp.
Soon, John's breathing intensified and picked up speed, and Andrew knew he was about to let loose with his load. Andrew kept pulling on the swollen member in his hand until John tensed up and almost lifted off of his cock. Andrew picked up his pace, determined to draw out every drop of John's load.
And what a load it was! Thick spurts of cream shot out, dousing Andrew's face, neck, and chest with the hot sauce. Andrew didn't keep counting after twelve volleys, but John seemed to keep going on forever. When he finally stopped, it formed a river down Andrew's torso and neck and dripped back from his face.
"Wow," breathed Andrew. "That's some load!"
John grinned.
"What can I say? You bring it out of me! And now for you!"
John got back between Andrew's legs from behind while leaving Andrew where he was. He leaned down to scoop up some of his own load from Andrew's body and coated his still-hard cock with it before nudging the head against Andrew's opening.
"Ready?" he asked, looking into Andrew's eyes.
"AlwÑ" Andrew began when John suddenly drove himself all the way in, taking Andrew by surprise.
"You were about to say `always,' right?" he said with a mischievous leer.
Andrew didn't bother to retort this time as John's pecker ground against his prostate more solidly than ever at this angle. Instead, he grabbed his meat and flogged it for all he was worth. John only got three drills into before Andrew arched his back and shot his own load all over what John had already covered him with.
John playfully continued to dick him after he shot before he relented and withdrew from Andrew's hot love tunnel.
Andrew was still spasming in the after-throes of orgasm as John gently pulled him away from the couch so he could lay flat on the ground.
"Are you okay?" he asked Andrew.
"Yeah, why?" Andrew replied, trying to pretend he wasn't still gasping for breath.
"Because you are very red from being upside down so long. Like cherry red, for real."
"Maybe a little dizzy," Andrew admitted. "But it was for a good cause," he added with a smile.
"So now I'm a cause. I see how it is."
"Oh, shut up and use that mouth of yours for something meaningful."
John leaned over and accommodated him with a good long kiss.
"What did you think?" John asked when they came up for air.
"That was hot! I never imagined anything like that!"
"Not everyone can do it."
"Oh! So it's only because of how amazing you are, is it?"
"It takes two, so if you want to chalk it up to amazing, just know that you are as `guilty' as I am. Are you ready to own that for yourself too?"
Andrew was instantly thrust into his internal paradox again.
John was amazing: that was a given. And his logic was valid, too-Ñalbeit trivial in this instance.
What they had just done required two equal partners, didn't it? But Andrew just couldn't make that leap to give himself more than trivial credit.
John noticed Andrew's conundrum, of course, and decided that it was time to see if he could dig a little deeper.
He turned to look directly into Andrew's eyes. "I mean it," he said earnestly. "Why do you have such a hard time giving yourself due worth?"
"I don't," Andrew replied defensively. "I'm just notÑ" He stopped mid-sentence at the stern look John gave him.
"Yeah," John said. "You are. Why can't you see it?"
"I'm totally dripping with cum here," Andrew said, trying to change the subject.
But John was not about to let that happen.
"Yes, you are," John said, unmoved.
"Can I get up and clean off?"
"That depends," John replied. "We can get cleaned up if you promise to talk with me about this. And I mean now."
Andrew saw John would brook no more deferments on the subject.
"Fine," he finally acquiesced.
"Okay then, let me grab you a towel."
John was back in just a moment with a small hand towel.
"Have you always thought of yourself as less?" he asked directly as he began to gently wipe the majority of mess from Andrew's body.
"I don't know," answered Andrew, as he wrestled with himself. He was still reluctant to pursue the matter, but he had promised John to try.
"Okay," said John as he paused in his work. "If you really don't know, you don't know, but I am going to challenge you to not use those words again in this conversation. This is holding you back from success in so many areas, and I want you to be free. That said, let me re-phrase the question. When did you start to feel like someone else is better than you?"
"What kind of question is that? Everyone is better than me at something."
"Point taken, but..." John trailed off in thought for a moment as he tried to clean the little cum puddles from the rug. "Tell me, have you ever played one of those video games where you start by creating a character and you get to choose ratios? Like how much strength, how much defense, how much speed, how much endurance, and how smart your character is?"
"Yeah."
"I believe people are like that: we all have say 100 points to distribute within ourselves, but we are all limited to the same 100. Some people throw all their eggs into one basket, like gymnasts aiming for the Olympics. Their entire life revolves around that goal. They are definitely going to be better at gymnastics than you or me, but they have to compromise somewhere else to do it. Maybe they have absolutely zero social life and no friends, for instance. Maybe they have health issues because of a super strict diet coupled with the physical demands they put on their bodies. Do you still think they are better than you?"
Andrew thought for a moment. "Only at gymnastics."
"There you go! We may all be different, but in the end, we are all equal: no better, no worse."
"Okay."
"What is your first response to that concept?"
"Sounds valid."
"How do you feel about it though?"
"I don't--I mean it doesn't really jive with me somehow."
"Why not?"
Andrew had to work really hard not to say he didn't know. "It seems like it's missing something."
"What do you think is missing?"
"I knew you were going to ask that," complained Andrew.
"Because you're smart," smiled John. "So, what's missing?"
"Maybe personality or motivation should be part of the equation."
"Maybe you're right," John said as he drew Andrew to his feet and led him to the bathroom. "So, if we add in personality or motivation, how would that make people better or worse?"
"It depends on who they are, of course."
"Give me examples."
"My grandma is better."
"Why?" asked John as he started the shower.
"Because she was gentle, generous, and always had a smile and a heart for others. She stayed home to raise my mom and the rest of the family while Grandpa worked. And I don't think she missed a day of church in her life.""And those things make her better?"
"I think so."
John fiddled with the controls to set a good temperature. "Okay, what's an opposite example?"
"I wouldn't classify Hitler as better," said Andrew as he followed John into the shower.
"For the sake of argument, why not?"
"Because he just wanted to kill everyone."
"Did he?" John asked with a smile. "He definitely singled out those he hated, but remember, he was legally elected to government years and years before he started World War Two. That speaks of long-term vision, patience, self-discipline, and the ability to get along with people at least on a surface level. All of these are generally considered good traits, right? If you talked to Germans at the time, they would tell you he was inspiring enough to give millions of his countrymen purpose and a common goal. They thought he was better for decades. It wasn't until later that they changed their minds."
"Just for the record, I'm not saying you're wrong," chuckled John. "I'm just challenging you to think a little outside of your paradigms here."
"I understand."
"Now let's go back for a moment. You said your grandma was better than you, right?"
"YeahÉ" said Andrew hesitantly.
"Because she was gentle, generous, happy, and cared about othersÑespecially family. You do realize those are all things you have in common with her, right?"
"What?"
"You are gentle, generous, happy, and care about others. You live on your own, but I don't doubt for an instant that you would prioritize your family just as much as she did. I'd love to hear more about them, by the way, but we can do that later. Do you think she's better because she went to church?"
"Well..." began Andrew. "It's not so much that she went than her faith was super important to her, and she lived it by example and not just by telling people about it."
"So she was religious."
"I guess so, but that doesn't do her justice by a long shot. She lived it."
"Got it. She unabashedly lived by her ideals. Is that more like it?"
"Yeah."
"Well so do you, Bub."
"But I don't even go to church anymore."
"I see. Is going to church a big part of your values then?"
"Um..." started an uncertain Andrew. "Not necessarily. My faith is very real, but very personal.
Sometimes church is good and sometimes church is bad. I stopped going when I came out, though. I got super tired of feeling like I was being judged all the time just because I'm gay. I know that God knows who I am since He made me. I suppose He could change me if He wanted to, but I've tried everything I know of and I'm still as gay as ever."
"Ah..." said John with a knowing tone.
"What?"
"You might have just gotten to the root of it all."
"I did?"
"Maybe. You said you felt judged."
"Of course I did."
"Of course. It's completely valid too."
The light snapped on in Andrew's head. "You think that's why I don't...value myself as much? But I don't care about those people. That's why I stopped going, remember?"
"I remember. And you may not care about those folks, but that doesn't mean you don't care about being judged."
"I suppose," said Andrew slowly. He didn't want to admit how stark and obvious it had become to him. It looked like John was right after all. How had he missed it all these years?
He really didn't care what those people thought about him anymore. That was true. A part of him thought it was a shame that he didn't, but most of him felt a lot lighter than an hour ago.
Andrew felt like John might not judge him about his past after all, so he talked about growing up attending a Christian church, where it was about always doing the right things and never doing the wrong things. Even though the same church taught that it was impossible to do. Andrew had tried desperately to be a "good" person while being taught that humans are inherently bad. It was only through faith in Christ that people could be saved from themselves. Even in high school when he was full of vim and vigor, he would ask adults for clarification, but they seemed to know no more than he did (despite speaking with apparent authority), so he continued to live as though faith didn't exist while pinning his hopes in the hereafter that it did. No wonder he was confused.
Andrew finally reached the conclusion that if God made him this way, then this is the way he was supposed to be. He just wanted to be the best version of himself that he could be.
"And that, my love, is exactly what I want for you," exclaimed John. "Nothing less will do. I know I said I would wait to talk about your family, but where do they fall in this conversation?"
"They still have their faith too. Thankfully, only my sister was disapproving in any way, but even she's come around to accepting me for who I am. I suspect they all still struggle with it to some extent, but I don't feel condemned by anyone anymore. I was surprised how my folks adapted right from the first. They have always been big on respecting people's boundaries, and I guess this kind of fell into that category. I know they didn't teach me this was the way to be, but they aren't continually trying to prove I'm going to Hell or something."
"That's good!"
"Yeah, agreed Andrew. "Most of the gays I knew who came out were met with open hostility and overt ostracization right out of the gate. I'm super grateful I didn't have to go through that, getting kicked out of home, or sent to those rehab places or anything. Those are so messed up."
"Yeah they are," agreed John. "I'm glad you were spared that."
Now that they were all clean, John shut off the water and turned to Andrew.
"How are you feeling right now?"
"Clean!" Andrew replied promptly.
John rolled his laughing eyes. "And about talking all this out?"
"Good," Andrew admitted. "It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I even feel lighter somehow. I think I feel normal."
"That's the way it should be," John said. "Now we just have to break that habit you have of making comments that say otherwise. You may see the light now, but we still need to get you out of these woods of self-doubt."
"Yes sir."
John wrapped Andrew into a bare-naked bear hug. "I'm here for you," he whispered.
"I think I know that," Andrew whispered back.
John stepped back. "Now hand me one of those towels before I freeze to death!"
"Yes sir!"
I'd love to hear from you if you have any questions or any suggestions for where this story should go :)
Also, if you'd like me to let you know when a new chapter goes up, just send me a message and I will keep you posted. Thanks for reading, and I hope you have great day!
DurtyRiter@protonmail.com