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-DurtyRiter
The Man with the Jeep
Chapter 49
Andrew shot instantly. He was ramping up like normal, but as soon as he recognized John, it was all over with a bang. And over it really was. No sooner did he spew his seed than he started to go soft. Andrew was absolutely alarmed at that: he was secretly proud that he never went soft right away and his cock stayed awake for a bit after sharing its load, but it was already completely flaccid now. If it wasn't for the trace of dribble at the tip and the cum still oozing down the wall, he would have thought he just imagined his climax of just a few moments ago.
Onscreen, John was still drilling away lustily at the beaten blonde, but Andrew suddenly couldn't handle that, and closed the window with a hasty click before collapsing into his chair with a huff.
He couldn't decide if he felt hurt, disgusted, envious, turned on, betrayed, or something else entirely. Maybe none of the above. Probably all of them. It was too much to process at once.
His first thought, of course, was to berate himself for trusting John and scheme a quick break-up, but he cut that short quickly. He had recently determined to turn over a new leaf and stop looking for the exit, and damned if he wasn't going to abide by it. But with his go-to reaction gone, what now?
This was one of those moments when he wished he had a close confidant. John was fast filling that role lately, but that obviously wouldn't work this time. The only person he felt more connected to was his mom, and that was even more unthinkable:
`Hi, mom! I just saw my new boyfriend in a porno! What should I do?'
No, that was not going to happen. Ever.
He went through the short list of people he trusted, but none seemed right.
Mr. Fletcher came to mind, and though they'd only just recently met, he had really helped Andrew get his perspective in order before. Andrew felt him a good sounding board with the added bonus that he didn't really know him that well and could easily never talk to him again if he was wrong. But he had no way to contact him, so Andrew just stewed in his own thoughts, trying desperately to identify his feelings and reconcile them with his thoughts.
While his body mindlessly cleaned his jizz from the wall and the desk, he pondered.
The video was clearly the hottest thing he had seen today, but what made it so?
The beaten blonde didn't look too dissimilar from himself and the appeal of sexual aggression John had recently awoken in him was on full display, so maybe he could put himself in that scenario more easily than the others.
But then there was John. Andrew felt like he should have recognized his cock the moment it appeared, but he didn't. It looked larger than life on screen, though now that he thought about it, he remembered that it seems larger than life even in real life too, so that shouldn't have made any difference. It made him wonder if he was as attentive as he liked to think if he couldn't recognize his own boyfriend's dick. Maybe he spent too much time with his eyes closed while interacting with it. Or maybe he was too busy reading John's face for reactions or staring into the bottomless pools that were his eyes.
Ultimately, he decided that it was probably the sheer unlikelihood of it all that prevented him from connecting the dots. Still...
Whether or not he recognized John's tool there was no denying how hot his man looked in the black leather boots, the black leather cap, and the black leather bulldog harness. His rebellious dick even manage to stir a little bit at the image seared into Andrew's memory. Oh yeah. Smoking hot! No wonder he shot immediately!
But the quick wilting? What was that all about? He thought about that for a long time, but he guessed it boiled down to the very same element that had captured his attention with the video in the first place. In his fantasy, Andrew could picture himself in the scene, but when John unexpectedly came onscreen, reality encroached and reminded him that he was not in the scene at all. He was jealous that there was a stranger in his place with the man he loved.
The man he loved.
That was when it dawned on him that he really and truly did love John.
He spent so long mulling over things that he had calmed down considerably by this time.
There was no way to know when this video was filmed. It could have been a month ago or years before just as easily. Come to think of it, Andrew wasn't even sure how old John actually was.
From all the stories that John had to tell, he may very well be older than Andrew would dare guess. Not that it mattered in the slightest to Andrew. Relationships are not about age. They are about connection. And honesty.
So why didn't John tell him about doing porn? Was he purposely keeping this a secret from Andrew? Were there more? What else didn't Andrew know about him?
Despite all the stories, Andrew didn't really know much about John's background. That didn't bother him before now, but that was starting to change. It was time to borrow a page from John's book and actively pay attention so he could string together a bigger picture out of the vignettes John shared. But even then, it was going to take a while. Hmmm.
Andrew considered a more direct approach. Despite John's propensity to set the stage with a few key tidbits and then challenge Andrew to figure it out, Andrew doubted he would avoid direct questions. Naturally, the key would be asking the right questions.
This was almost completely opposite to his normal mode of conversation. He tended to be a listener, asking just enough questions to get people to talk. Whether from loneliness, egoism, or just the need to vent, he found most people would run quite happily with the merest of opportunity.
He'd have to be strategic this time to get the answers he sought, so this promised to be a fun challenge.
He also knew that John was bound to ask him about his past too. Unfortunate, because his life had been so boring. Andrew was sure John would have a hard time staying awake for it.
It's not like he had a past life as a porn star, apparently unlike someone else he could name...
What if he pretended to be as upset with the porn as he originally thought he was just to mess with John? No, that might prove to be too much for John and push him over the edge. He shouldn't go there. He'd put John through enough. He needed to be nicer to him.
Thinking of that made him a little sad. He truly hadn't meant to be so high maintenance, but as he thought about it from John's perspective, he realized he could appear to be resisting every effort John had put forth to build a grounded relationship. Not intentionally, but his own insecurities and doubts must have made it seem like working with Jell-O.
He managed to maintain a detached view of himself for once as he reviewed the last month with John. He could see himself waffling with self-abasement and fear. He could also see John steadily coaxing him into new things.
What was that about? Why would he do such a thing? Did John have an ulterior motive? He always made a big deal out of getting Andrew to solve various mysteries of one kind or another, so surely he wouldn't begrudge Andrew from delving into that conundrum. Unless all the other ones were to distract him from some greater overarching scheme...
Andrew couldn't believe that. Even though John may not be upfront about everything, he had been too consistently supportive to warrant suspicion about his intentions.
Andrew's conversation with...Bill? Mr. Fletcher? What was he going to call him? He would probably be "Mr. Fletcher" forever as far as John was concerned, but Andrew already thought of him more as a friend or mentor, so he was going to go with "Bill."
His conversation with Bill had opened his eyes a little bit to his own blindness as far as John was concerned.
John was sure to have some weaknesses. He was definitely more cocksure than most guys Andrew knew, but that was on the outside. He knew that an air of confidence is often the perfect mask for uncertainty and humor often covers up despair. And by this logic, his numerous friends could be a result of counteracting loneliness.
Something niggled at his mind at that thought.
He had already noticed how many people called John "Master" or "Sir," but now equally stark was the accompanying surprise and comments about how pleased people were that he had a boyfriend. One or two could be coincidence, but now he noticed it was much more of a trend than he realized. It was the few who DIDN'T express that sentiment who stood out.
Those friendships were clearly genuine, so that kind of reaction encouraged Andrew a great deal. If they believed he was overdue to have a boyfriend, John couldn't be the player that Andrew had been waiting to discover he was. And if he wasn't, Andrew was overdue to begin contributing to this relationship.
Infatuation and sex were fun, but that's as much as Andrew had provided up to now. He needed to step up his game, so to speak.
He could only hope that Bill's assessment was correct and John couldn't see all of Andrew's weaknesses yet. Maybe he had time to get himself on track before John's euphoria faded away. Maybe he could prove himself worthy of all the investment John had put into him already.
Yeah, it was time to grow up and act like a man.
I know this is a shorter chapter, but this seemed like an excellent place to stop. And you get an installment that much quicker too :-). Trust me, there is tons more on the way!
Also, if you'd like me to let you know when a new chapter goes up, just send me a message and I will keep you posted. Thanks for reading, and I hope you have great day!
DurtyRiter@protonmail.com