Disclaimer: This is just a story. And it's about a Marine. Not a real one, of course. Kind of a melding of a lot of them I've known in my life. Any resemblance to any actual Marine is purely coincidence - but if there is, I do wish he'd write me! Anyway, you know the drill, if you don't like sex between males, what are you doing here? And if your Country, State, Province, City, Town or Village won't let you read this kind of stuff - MOVE!!! Somewhere where you can!
This story is dedicated to my friend PUP, who just LOVES Marines and stories about them. I hope he loves this one. And I kind of hope it would come true for him.
In the next chapters, you will hear the voices of all four of the main characters - Brian, Ty, Scott and Jason. Their stories will be clearly noted.
THE MARINE NEXT DOOR - Part 9 by RimPig (c) 2002
SCOTT'S STORY:
The music was blaring out of the front door of The Kismet, a real dive 4th Street, that night as guys came and went. Only guys. The Kismet was a gay bar, a place where men who wanted other men came to find them. Outside, a guy who didn't have any luck inside finding someone, could always find companionship for a few minutes, an hour or all night - depending on the price. Most of the young entrepreneurs were too young to be inside The Kismet, and so we waited on the streets for the older investors, most of whom were old enough to be our father or grandfather.
I'd had been hanging around this bar for the last eight months. I'd heard about the place from a kid I met on the street named 'Slasher'. Slasher had never offered his real name and I didn't think it was probably a good idea to ask him. Slasher could be a scary dude, especially when he got a hold of some coke laced with PCP. But Slasher had told me about The Kismet and how a young, cute boy could make himself money by offering his young body for sale.
The day that I had met Slasher, I'd been on the streets for four days. I hadn't eaten in all that time and was just about faint with hunger. In my whole life, I'd never known what it was like to go without food that long. I had almost no sleep for those four days as well. I had tried sleeping in alleys and in the city park but fear wouldn't let me close my eyes for more than a few minutes. The streets were a scary place for someone who was only 15. Especially for a 15 year old who had been raised in the comfortable suburbs, far way from the realities of street life. I was grossly unprepared for what had become my existence.
Worst of all, I could smell myself. I hadn't bathed or showered in all that time and, while I'm normally turned on to the natural scent of a sweaty male body (even to my own at times), this stink was far beyond what I considered in any way erotic. I'd tried washing myself in the sink of a gas station bathroom but that hadn't done much good. I'd wanted to go down to the beach and plunge into the ocean, but the water was way too cold this time of year. Nobody went there to swim in November.
How I had ended up on these streets, as I'd quickly learned from other boys out there selling their bodies, was an all too common story. I had been raised by parents who, in the 60's, would have been referred to as 'Jesus Freaks' - Pentecostals who saw 'Satan' or 'Devils' in everything they defined as evil. And what they defined as evil was just about everything! They had dragged me to church three times on Sunday and three more times during the week for as long as I could remember. They'd made me answer altar calls and 'accept Jesus as my personal savior' more times than I could count. They knew that I was inherently evil because they believed everybody (except themselves) were inherently evil.
What they didn't know was that, by their definition and their church's definition, I was 'evil'. I had known that since I was 12. I knew that I was the most evil type of person there was. The kind that the fat, sweaty minister of my parent's church preached about all the time. And I wasn't just 'evil', I was 'deviant' and a 'pervert' as well! I knew that I was a homosexual. I loved other guys and that made me the worst kind of evil imaginable.
I really tried to change that part of myself. I prayed, almost constantly for God to change me. I really wanted to be 'normal'! I really wanted to be what everyone wanted me to be! But the harder I tried to change, the more it became clear that I couldn't. I couldn't understand why God didn't hear my prayers. I couldn't understand why people in church seemed to get anything they asked for from God, but he wouldn't listen to me!
When I was 14, everything changed for me. First of all, I went to high school for the first time. In gym class, I finally got to see what I had been fantasizing about! Naked guys! Naked cocks! So many and so many different sizes and shapes, I thought my eyes would fall out of my head! The first time I took a shower after gym, I got the biggest boner of my life! I was so scared somebody would notice. But then I began to notice, I wasn't the only one who had a boner. About half the guys had them and nobody was saying a thing! I also noticed that most of the guys were looking at each other, checking out each other's cocks. For a moment, I thought that every one of them was like me - queer! But they all didn't seem to react to each other the way I was reacting. It was some time before I learned that this was normal behavior for all boys. We're all curious about what other guys have between their legs.
Actually, somebody did notice my boner. He just didn't say anything for a while about it. But he started talking to me and several days later we ended up having lunch together. His name was Craig. Craig was a really good looking guy. He was my age and he had dark, reddish brown hair with sparkling green eyes. He had a very nice body. It wasn't too developed yet, but he was smooth and sleek. He also had a very nice sized cock. Bigger than mine, it looked to be about seven inches when it got hard in the shower. Craig and I quickly became friends. We had most of our classes together and spent a lot of time talking in between classes and at lunch. Finally, after about a week, Craig invited me to his house after school.
His parents weren't home. According to Craig, they almost never were. His Dad was some type of executive who traveled a lot on business and his mom was a real estate agent who spent a lot of time working. He said his Dad was out of town for three days and his Mom had told him she wouldn't be home until at least 9 p.m. We went up to his room. It was huge, compared to mine. In fact, their whole house would have held at least two of the house we lived in. Craig and I were lying on his bed. It was a queen-size, which I thought was strange for a kid to have. My parent's had one this big but they were two people. Craig had this one all to himself. He told me his parents had gotten a king-size bed and had given him this one.
We were lying there talking about stuff and leafing through some comic books Craig had. After a while, as with all boys our age, the talk got around to sex. Craig was certainly much better informed about things than I was. He also had never been taught that it was a sin. In fact, Craig told me that he'd never been to church in his life. His parents didn't believe in God! This was something I couldn't believe! I'd always been taught that people who didn't believe in God led horrible, depraved lives and had none of the 'blessings', like nice houses and cars, that people in our church thought came from faith. On the contrary, Craig and his parents lived better than anyone in our church could ever dream of living.
It was then and there, I started to smell a rat! And the rat was my parents and their preacher! It was like scales suddenly fell from my eyes and I started to see the truth. They had been lying to me all these years. They were no better than anyone else, regardless of what they thought. In fact, they were a lot worse off then a lot of people. As more and more of what I had been taught began to be called into question in my mind, I realized that this stuff about me being 'evil' and 'perverted' was a bunch of crap as well!
Suddenly Craig reached under his bed and brought out some glossy magazines. These were not Playboy or Penthouse. These were hard-core pornography! Pictures of naked men and women actually having sex! I'd heard about the 'evils' of pornography, but I'd never seen any of it before. I instantly had a hardon from the pictures of the naked men with their hard male cocks driving into women's pussies, mouths and asses.
Suddenly, in one of the books, there was a picture of two guys and a woman, and one of the guys was sucking on the other one's cock!!! I just about shot in my pants from it! I think Craig saw my reaction to the picture.
"That one's really hot, isn't it!" he asked. I couldn't talk, I could only nod.
I could tell that he had a hardon, too, and was beginning to breath as heavily as I was. The sexual tension between us was so thick you could cut it with a knife! Without another word, Craig reached under his bed again and brought out three more hard-core magazines, but these were different. These had no women in it at all! Only men! Men - sucking each other's cocks, licking each other's asses and fucking each other in the butt! I was completely blown away! I didn't know what to do or what to say.
Suddenly, Craig pushed the magazines away and moved closer to me. We were face to face, lying on our sides. He reached up and put his hand behind my neck and pulled my face closer to his. Then he leaned forward and put his lips on mine! I closed my eyes and moaned from the touch of his lips and, in so doing, slightly opened my mouth. Craig pressed his mouth against mine harder and I suddenly felt his tongue sliding through the opening in my mouth and forcing my mouth open wider! I could feel his tongue tasting inside of my mouth, trying to lick at every part of me. I sucked on his tongue and continued to moan into his mouth. Suddenly his tongue withdrew and, without any conscious thought, mine followed until my tongue was tasting the inside of his mouth.
At this, Craig's hand left my neck and he moved his hand down my back until his arm pulled my body completely against his. I could feel his hardon pressing against mine and I was afraid I was going to cum any second - and we hadn't even taken our clothes off yet! But Craig was about to remedy this! He pulled back from the kiss and looked deeply into my eyes. I could see the heat and lust in his sparkling green eyes.
"I want to see you naked. Now!" he said.
I didn't answer, I simply got up off the bed and quickly began to undress. Craig watched until I was naked and then reached for me. I danced away from him, however.
"Now you!" I said. "I want to see you!" I was breathing so hard I could barely get the words out.
Craig gave me a very horny grin and then got up off the bed and slowly began to undress. It was kind of like a strip-tease, though I didn't know what that was at the time. I just knew that his slow revealing of his naked body was driving me nuts and making my cock drip pre-cum all over his bedroom rug!
When Craig was finally naked, he moved over to me and took me in his arms again. It felt so good, so right feeling his arms around me. How could this be a 'sin'?! I reached out and put my arms around him. God! How good it felt to have his strong body in my arms! He leaned in and kissed me again. My mouth opened automatically and I was sucking on his tongue as it came through my teeth. I'd never felt like this in my whole life, but I knew it was a feeling that I wanted more of - no matter what it cost me. Little did I know what it would cost me!
Craig pulled back from the kiss and told me to lay down on his bed. I lay on my back and Craig got on top of me. The feelings of safety and security with him on me were bringing out emotions I didn't even know I had. I could feel his hard cock pressing against my own. We were both dripping copiously and the slickness of our pre-cum was covering the lower part of my stomach and making our cocks glide comfortably against each other. Craig was kissing and licking at my neck and shoulder and gradually moving down my body.
He got to my chest and began sucking and nibbling on one of my nipples. A shock went through my body like a charge of electricity and I moaned loudly and involuntarily thrust my chest up to his mouth. I had no idea that my nipples were that sensitive! In fact, I was to learn that day that there were many parts of my body which were very sensitive that I had all but ignored before.
Craig's mouth worried at my other nipple, causing the same reaction in me. Then, forcing my arms above my head, he did something that completely shocked me! He buried his face in my armpit and began breathing deeply of my scent! I had noticed the scent of boys around me in the locker room at school and I had drunk as deeply of that smell as I dared without anyone noticing. But I thought that I was the only boy in the world who found the scent of another boy's body to be pleasing. Actually, beyond pleasing! Fuck! I had no idea that there were any other boys in the world who wanted to have sex with each other until today! I was learning an awful lot at once and my mind was reeling from all of the knowledge.
Craig began to lick out my pits. The small puff of hair that had taken so long to finally grow was soon completely soaked with his spit. He then changed to the other armpit and repeated his action, beginning with smelling my sweaty scent. He again licked out the pit until it was soaked in his sweat while I lay there moaning in exquisite agony at the feelings he was evoking in my body.
Having gotten every bit of scent and taste from my pit, Craig moved on down my body. He licked across my stomach, leaving a trail of his spit cooling on my skin. He licked out and sucked on my 'innie' belly button until I thought I would go crazy! Finally, he moved down to my groin.
He first moved my hardon out of the way with his hand and buried his nose in my pubic hair. This small puff of blond hair above my cock had also only grown within the last six months. I was inordinately proud, as most boys are, when it finally began to grow. Craig spent a long time sniffing and licking his way through it, gathering every bit of scent and taste that was trapped there. Then he began to lick in the folds of where my thighs met my groin and tasting the sweat that had accumulated there. Finally he reached my balls. I had no hair on them. It hadn't begun to grow yet. The skin there was very soft and sensitive though. I had felt myself there while jacking off so I knew that my balls had a very male smell to them (I couldn't resist smelling my fingers after playing with my balls. I think all guys do it sometimes.). I was so turned on at this point that my ball sack was pulled up tight to my body and the wrinkly skin of my nutsack was emitting that odor peculiar to guys' balls.
Craig moaned at the scent of my balls and began to lick all over my nutsack and to suck my balls into his mouth where his tongue continued to lave them with his spit. I finally moaned that I was going to cum! Craig immediately stopped what he was doing and rose until he was again beside me on the bed. I was horrified at first! I thought he was rejecting me! But I looked in his eyes and knew he was just as horny for me as I was for him. I gave him a questioning look, however.
"You're turn." he said softly.
Oh, God! My turn!!! How I wanted 'My turn'!!!
I quickly got on top of Craig and kissed him deeply. He lay there with his arms around me for a few moments and then moved them over his head. This was his signal to me that he was ready for what my mouth could do to him. I quickly got the message and began to imitate all of the actions he had done to my body.
I moved down his neck first, kissing and sucking at the skin. There was a find sheen of sweat on his body from our sexual antics and I could taste the saltiness and something that was definitely but indefinably Craig. I moved down to his chest and took his small nipple into my mouth. I sucked on it like I was a baby expecting milk to flow into me. Craig moaned and a thrill went through me! I was able to give pleasure to someone! This thrilled me almost as much as what Craig had done to me! I continued to nurse at one and then the other nipple before moving up to his armpits. I suddenly was in heaven! I did not have to fill my nose with his scent on the sly. I could take deep whiffs of his sweaty boy-scent and not have to be afraid of what he might think! And I did! I snorted in his pit like a pig and finally began to taste the salty, musky taste of his maleness. Nothing in my life prepared me for what that taste was like. It was like no other and yet was vaguely familiar. It so perfectly matched the scent of it! It was a taste that said 'male', and I was hooked immediately - forever!
I soaked both his pits in my saliva before moving down the smooth skin of his young body. I licked across he chest and down his stomach. I, too, following his example, licked and sucked at his navel before moving down and burying my face in his dark, thick pubic hair. Craig had a lot more hair than I did. It even covered his balls. I nosed my way through his fragrant crotch hair. I could smell sweat and piss and some of his pre-cum. It was a heady mixture and I loved it! I licked in the creases of his legs and tasted the sweat there before moving down to his nuts.
I thought his pits and crotch hair were scented wonderfully, but nothing prepared me for his ball! Oh, God! His nuts smelled so fucking good! I couldn't help myself, I was snorting like a pig and didn't care if Craig could hear me or not! But, of course he could.
"Yeah, man! Smell my fuckin' nuts! Get off on my sweaty balls, man!" he moaned.
And I did! I pig out on the smell of his balls. By this time, my cock was hard again and was dripping cock-snot all over Craig's bed. I was really getting of on the smells of his body! But then I remembered, where there was smell - there was taste! I began to lick and the taste of his sweaty balls went right to my head! I was lost to the taste! I'd never tasted anything so wonderful as his nuts! It was later that I learned that all men's balls tasted great. For now, Craig's nuts all but became my god!
While I continued licking his balls, I suddenly started to taste something different, something sweet as well as salty. I looked up and could see the trail of cock-snot leading from his nuts where I had been licking to the head of his cock. I wanted more! My tongue followed the trail of glistening liquid, tasting more and more of his cock-snot. I reached the head of his cock and began sucking on the head, sucking down more and more of the tasty liquid. As I sucked on his cock head, Craig was moaning at my actions. I started to let more and more of his cock slide into my mouth. I loved the feel of his cock in my mouth. It felt so comfortable and tasted so good! It felt like this is what I had wanted all my life and it seemed so natural to do. Before I knew it, I was moving my head faster and faster up and down his cock and I could tell he was about to cum.
Craig rose up and pushed me off his cock. He pushed me down on the bed and began sucking me again. I was quickly moaning and moving towards cumming. At that point, Craig moved over me and his cock dangled over my face. I reached up and pulled it down and went back to sucking it as Craig continued to suck me. We both were moaning around each other's cocks and gobbling for all we were worth. I guessed correctly that we weren't going to stop. It was obvious that Craig was going to let me cum in his mouth and I certainly wanted him to cum in mine! I had tasted his pre-cum. Now I wanted desperately to taste his cum! And I wasn't denied for long. Almost without realizing it, my orgasm was upon me and I was pouring my cum into Craig's mouth when suddenly his cock began to spurt his cum into my mouth. I nearly drowned in it! I didn't realize that there would be so much of it! But I quickly began to swallow the wonderful tasting cream from his balls. I was completely addicted to the taste of his cum in seconds. Even before he stopped cumming, I wanted to suck him off again and taste some more!
But our cocks quickly became far too sensitive to touch and we pulled out of each other's mouths and lay back down beside each other. Craig took me in his arms and again pressed his mouth to mine. He licked out my mouth, tasting his own cum and then allowed me to lick out his mouth and taste my own. I discovered that I loved the taste of my own as well! It wasn't that different.
I lay there with Craig's arms around me. I never felt so comfortable in my life. I now knew not only what I was, what I wanted, but I knew that it was beautiful! It was not 'sin'. It was love. Just like any other love.
Craig and I continued to sleep together at every opportunity. I was in love with him, but I realize now that he wasn't in love with me. He wasn't cruel or anything, but Craig was the kind of guy who wasn't interested in being in love. At least not then. Maybe when he gets older that will change, but for now, he was just looking for fun. And I was a lot of fun for him. He loved the fact that I was a virgin and he could train me. He taught me many, many things. He taught me how to get fucked and to fuck. He taught me the joy of eating butt. But most of all, he taught me that sex was not evil.
After a while, we grew apart and he went on to having sex with other guys and I did, too. But I had a smaller pool to play in then he did. I wasn't able to so easily find conquests as he did. And I ended up making a terrible mistake.
There was this other guy at church. He was older than I was. He was 17 and he was gorgeous. Tall, well-built, beautiful face and a great personality. I went head over heals for him and thought he felt the same way about me. One night, I got the chance to spend the night with him at his house. I felt so good, so comfortable with him. I just knew he was gay. What I didn't figure on was that he was fighting it - trying to make religion 'cure' him, just like I had.
I came onto him and he very gently turned me down. Instead he wanted to pray together. I was done with that and told him so. He didn't say anything, but the next day, he told my parents what had happened. He, of course, left anything about himself out of it. That was the day that I was met when I came home from school and my parents all but attacked me! They called me a deviate and a pervert and told me that they no longer had a son! They told me I had to leave. When I asked therm where I was supposed to go, they said they didn't care! I could just go where all the other perverts went! I shoved some clothes in my backpack and left.
I wandered the streets and four days later met Slasher. He let me take a shower at his place and then I went where he told me and I had my first sex for money. Actually, the first one wasn't so bad. It was an older guy, but all he wanted to do was suck my cock. I didn't even think I could get it up but he was very good and I came in spite of my hunger. He paid me $50 and I ate and got someplace to finally sleep that night. A broken down hotel where I got a room for $12 a night. I continued to work the streets and finally just fell into days and nights of hustling - most of which I don't remember. They just all blend into a sameness.
Until that night. I didn't even see it coming. I was looking for a trick when suddenly I was surrounded by five young guys. I could smell booze on them and they started calling me names - mostly though they called me "Faggot". When I tried to get away, they got even angrier and started beating on me. None of the men in the gay bar would do anything or any of the other working boys. If it hadn't been for a cop coming by and breaking it up, they probably would have killed me.
The cop didn't make an effort to catch any of them. He just put me in his police car and took me to the hospital. There they asked me a lot of questions. They'd already given me something for the pain I was feeling and I ended up telling them the truth. A nurse talked to me about running a test for HIV and, unfortunately I 'passed' it. I was HIV+. I was so freaked that when they wanted to take me upstairs and put me in a room, I started screaming that I didn't want to be with straight people! I was scared everyone would know that I was a hustler and that I had the virus. So they took me upstairs and put me in the AIDS ward!
It was morning by that time and this big, black nurse came in to talk to me. She was so nice to me. She didn't act like I was a piece of shit, even though that's what I felt like. She told me that I was not sick. That the HIV wasn't advanced in me at all. That I'd been lucky to find out this soon after I was evidently infected. At this early stage, I might not even have to go on medication but I could be watched and the doctors could make sure that I stayed healthy as long as possible.
While she talked to me, I felt some hope. But after she left, I started to really assess my situation. I was 16 years old. I had no high school diploma. I had nothing to do to make money but to hustle and now I had AIDS! Fuck! No body cared about me, nobody gave a damn! I paced up and down the room and finally stopped in front of the window. It was the 4th floor, I remembered that. I looked down and figured that from that height, there would be no chance of surviving the fall. An easy answer to everything. I could just end my misery with on little step.
It was that moment that I heard a guy's voice. He told me the window wouldn't open so I couldn't jump from there. I was shocked that he seemed to be able to read my mind. I spun around and looked at him. He was evidently another nurse. This must be the supervisor. The black nurse had told me he would be in to see me, that he was gay, too, and had a lover who used to be a Marine.
I told him that all I wanted to do was die. And he yelled at me! He told me off good! And what did I do? I fucking started bawling like a baby. He took me in his arms and let me cry until I was done. Then he started talking to me about getting off the street. But I told him there was no way I was going to end up in foster care. I knew several guys, including my best friend on the streets (a little guy named Joey) who'd been raped in foster care!
We talked some more and he told me I'd be there for a couple of days. That he would try to find someplace for me. I told him about my parents. What they had done to me. I figured he'd probably call them, so he'd better be warned what kind of reception he'd get.
He left and I got back in the bed. I was still in some pain but they'd given me something for it, and as I lay there, I started drifting off to sleep. I woke up with a start when the door to my hospital room suddenly opened. I thought I was still asleep and dreaming because there, standing in the doorway, was the cutest fucking guy I'd ever seen in my entire life! And he was dressed like a Marine!!!
He came in and asked me how I was doing. I told him I was ok. He was evidently real. I just couldn't understand what the fuck he was doing in my room! He couldn't be here to recruit me!
"No," he said. "I'm not here to recruit you!" and he laughed. "I'm Jason. I volunteer here."
Oh, my God! I must have said that out loud! What a dork he's going to think I am!
"You know what kind of a ward this is, don't you?" I asked, figuring he was lost and got on the wrong floor of the hospital.
"Yeah. I know. I only volunteer on this floor." he told me.
"But why?" I just couldn't understand why this incredibly gorgeous Marine would volunteer in an AIDS ward!
"Because it makes me feel good! I'm gay and a lot of people on this floor are gay. I get to be myself with them and I get to be there for them. A lot of them have no family or no family that will have anything to do with them. And some of them get real lonely. I try to make them feel better." he told me.
'Oh, my God!' I thought to myself, 'This hunk is gay! And a fucking 'Boy Scout'! Maybe there is a God!' but I didn't say that to him.
"Well, I not in here because I have AIDS." I told him.
I didn't want him to feel sorry for me or anything. In fact, for some reason, I wanted more than anything in the world for him to like me.
"No, I know. They told me you got beat up - gay-bashed. I wish I knew who it was who did that to someone as cute as you! I know how to take another guy apart with my bare hands. The training they give you in the Corps can come in handy." he said, his voice full of anger at what happened to me.
Wait a second, did he just say that I was cute?! Oh, fuck! This can't be happening! He's got the wrong guy. I'm not worthy of somebody like him. Not with the things I've done.
"Thanks, but I don't want you taking anybody apart over me. I'm not worth it." I said.
"What do you mean? Your worth it! And a lot more!" he said earnestly, his voice so sweet and caring.
"No, I'm not. Didn't they tell you what I was doing out on that street?" I said. I wanted to get him off this!
"No, they didn't." he said.
"I was hustling! I was selling my body to make money! I'm a fucking prostitute! OK!" I was practically screaming at him.
I didn't know what the fuck I was doing! Here was this beautiful guy and I was screaming at him! I was trying to make him hate me! I guess I wanted him to hate me as much as I hated myself at that point.
"Why would you do that?" he asked, his voice still as sweet and kind as it had been.
"Because I had no other way to eat and get a place to sleep!" I said, trying to wake him up to the reality of who and what I was.
"What about your parents? Why aren't they taking care of you?" he asked.
"Because they threw me out when I was 15. They didn't like the idea that their son was a faggot! They're big religious freaks and they couldn't deal with what I am." I explained.
I don't know why, but at that point, I started crying again. He got up and came over and sat on the bed and took me in his arms. I melted into him and continued to sob. I was so embarrassed to be doing this but, at the same time, I couldn't remember feeling this good at having someone's arms around me since that first day with Craig. But I was older now. I'd done things that I didn't even want to remember. I didn't have the right to have this 'Boy Scout' of a Marine holding me! But he didn't let go. He continued to hold me, even after I'd finally stopped crying. It was then that his arms started to really feel good! As did his hand, gently stroking my hair. And I could smell the scent of him, his maleness locked in a fog of clean sweat and soap.
"Aren't you afraid to touch me? You know I have the virus." I said softly looking up into his face.
"No, there's no danger to holding you! You can't get it by touching somebody. There's not even any danger in doing this." and as he said this, he leaned down and gently kissed me on the lips.
I guess he could see the surprise on my face because he smiled.
"Or even this." he added.
And this time, he pressed his lips to mine and I could feel his tongue press against my lips, forcing its way inside my mouth. I opened to him and let him take control! I was moaning as he kissed me deeply, his tongue filling my mouth and me sucking on it. Then it withdrew and mine followed and I tasted him for the first time. Never, not even with Craig, had I felt this way. It was like I was trying to pour myself into him and wanted him to pour himself into me.
I finally pulled back and looked him in the face. He was slightly older than me. I guessed no more than 19. He had dark red hair and deep green eyes. A beautiful face and the cutest freckles sprinkled across his nose. I figured him for about six feet tall and maybe 180. His body was tight and his arms were muscular, that much I could feel through the olive green fatigues he was wearing. His hair was really short! Almost shaved on the sides with a strip on top, which had it been more than half an inch long, could almost have been called a Mohawk. But it looked good on him somehow.
He continued to smile at me while I just stared. Surely kissing someone, especially the way he'd just kissed me, went way beyond the duties of any 'volunteer'! What the fuck did he want? I knew precisely what I wanted. I wanted him to pick me up in his arms and carry me the fuck out of this hospital and make love to me for the rest of my life.
Oh! Fuck! What the hell am I thinking! I can't make love to him at all! Ever! I'm infected! I can't pass this fucking virus on to him! At this I started to cry again. He didn't say a word, just pulled my head to his chest and let me cry. Oh, why did I have to meet this guy now! Why did I have to meet him at all! I just wanted to die.
"What's the matter, babe?" he asked, his voice low and intimate.
I didn't know what to say. How to tell him what I was feeling. I've never been much of a liar. I decided to just tell him the truth.
"I want you. I really do. But you know it can't happen. Ever." I said, pulling back out of his arms and wiping my eyes with the back of my hand. "Maybe you just ought to go away and forget you ever met me."
"Why would I want to do that?" he asked, a puzzled look on his face. "I want you, too! I don't think I've ever wanted someone as much as I want you."
"No! Don't say that! Don't you see? It can't happen! Never!" I said as strongly as I could, still feeling like I was going to break down again any moment.
"Why not? Do you already have someone?" he asked, and I could hear the disappointment in his voice.
"Oh, yeah! Like THAT could happen!" I almost laughed at the joke of it. "The only guys who would want me pay me by the hour!"
"Then what's the problem?" he asked.
"I'm infected! I have AIDS! Don't you get it? I can't ever make love to you! I don't want you to be infected, too!" I tried to get some sense into his thick Marine head!
"That doesn't matter. Haven't you ever heard of "Safe Sex"?" he asked.
"Sure, I've heard of it. You wear condoms and it feels like you're not even fucking!" I said.
"Yes it does. Believe me. I always wear one when I'm fucking. And I always make the other guy wear one if he's going to fuck me. And I can't get the virus from you sucking me." he said.
I was stopped in my tracks. Ok, so we could have sex. He could make love to me. Why would he want to?
"Look," I said. "You are so incredibly beautiful, you can find any healthy guy! Why would you want to bother with me?"
"Maybe somebody else wouldn't need me as much as I think you do. And maybe it's because I don't want somebody else. I want you. And maybe it's because I need you, too." he said it so sincerely that I couldn't believe he meant anything else but what he was saying.
"What could you possibly need me for?!"
"Because nobody in my entire life ever told me that I was beautiful before." he said, looking down avoiding my stare.
Oh, God! This guy was WAY too much! He's everything I've ever wanted in my life! Why the fuck am I trying to hard to push him away?! I don't want him to go! I want him to stay here and hold me some more! I want him to tell me that everything is going to be all right!
I tentatively reached out my hand and touched his arm. He looked up and stared directly into my eyes. I gave him a smile. I've had people tell me I have a nice smile. I just haven't had too much to smile about in a long time. He smiled back and then reached out his arms. I fell back into them and he squeezed me to him and I held onto him like he was a life preserver and I was drowning! We stayed like that a long time. Me laying in his arms and him gently stroking my hair or kissing the top of my head.
"You know I'm falling in love with you." I said quietly, after a long time of no sound between us.
"God, I hope so! I'm already in love with you." he said.
"What are we going to do?" I asked because I knew the situation was still pretty hopeless.
"I'm going to go and talk to Brian. His lover Ty is one of my best friends. If anybody can do something, Brian can. He's a great guy and he really cares." Jason said.
"Yeah, I know. I already met him. He might not have the same opinion of me that you do, though. I wasn't at my best when I met him." I told him.
"That's OK, I'm sure Brian understands." Jason chuckled.
"What's so funny?" I asked sitting up and looking at the goofy, adorable grin on his face.
"You try to act like such a bad-ass, but you're so sweet and loving inside." he said, his eyes full of love for me.
I was completely taken aback by this. I'm not used to anyone loving me. I'm especially not used to them seeing right through all my defenses.
"Well, let's just keep that our secret for the moment, shall we?" I asked with an exaggerated show of dignity, wrapping my hospital gown tighter around me like it was a mink coat!
Jason really cracked up laughing at that and, I have to admit, so did I. All of a sudden, we were just two young kids together. It had been so long! It felt so good!
He went away for a while to see Brian. All the time he was gone, I kept trying to talk myself out of being in love with him. What did I have to offer? Nothing! I was only 16, I was HIV+, I was living on the streets, I had not education - no future, the only thing I knew how to do to make money was to whore myself to any man who'd pay! What the fuck could I possibly offer to this beautiful, loving guy?! I went on like that for a long time. But it didn't work. Something kept bringing me back to that look I saw in his eyes. I had wanted love so badly for such a long time and here was somebody offering it. I didn't deserve it, didn't have anything to offer in return and none of that seemed to matter to him at all. I knew I should just get out of here so he'd never see me again. That would be best. Get out and never let him find me.
There were only a couple of things wrong with that plan, however. Number one, I had no fucking idea where my clothes were! I was only wearing a thin little hospital gown that left my bare ass hanging out in back! Number two, I had no place to go! And, if that wasn't enough - Number three, I didn't want to! I didn't want to blow the chance that this might be real. That I could really have somebody who would love me and stand by me.
About the time that I got to that point, he was back, grinning that goofy grin of his at me. My heart soared! Never before could just somebody walking in a room send me spinning, but this guy could! He sat down on the bed, took me in his arms and gently kissed me. I kissed back and threw my arms around his neck. When I was in his arms, nothing whatever was wrong! It was like the whole world was going the right way for once. Then he pulled back to look at me.
"I talked to Brian." he said.
"And...?" I asked.
"He's going to ask Ty - that's his lover - if they can take you to live with them!" He grinned.
I couldn't believe it! I didn't know these people - never met any of them until today, but here they were - one offering me all his love and the other offering me someplace to live and a way off the streets! Nobody had ever been that good to me - not even if they wanted in my pants!
"Why would he do that?" I asked, astounded.
"That's the way Brian and Ty are. You never saw two guys more in love with each other. And I know Ty. He acts all gruff and such - he was a Lance Corporal in the Corps when he and Brian met - but he's got a heart as big as Brian's. There's no chance he's going to say 'no', especially if Brian is doing the asking! I'm willing to bet that Ty's never said no to Brian in the four years they've been together." Jason said.
"God, I hope you're right. But..." I started to ask about him and me, but stopped. Maybe I was presuming too much. Maybe he just wanted to help me find a way off the streets.
"But what?" he asked.
"Nothing." I said.
"No, it was something. Now what?" his voice was quiet, but I could tell he was not going to let this go.
"Ok, ok! I was going to ask about you and me." I said, hanging my head, afraid to look at him.
"What about you and me?" he asked, confusion in his voice.
Oh, fuck! I pushed this one too far! I should have known better. What the fuck would he want with a 16 year old kid anyway.
"Oh, nothing..." I said, still refusing to look at him.
He sat there for a few moments trying to figure this all out when finally he reached over and, taking my chin in his hand, lifted my head until his beautiful green eyes were staring straight into mine.
"There is no 'you' and 'me' anymore, Scott. There is only 'us'. I want you. I don't just want to sleep with you, though God know's, if there was a way to lock that door over there I'd take you in this fucking hospital bed right now! I want you. I want you to love me. I already know that I love you. I'll take you for as long as you'll have me. Now that I've found you, I'll be fucked if I'm going to lose you!" he swore with such certainty in his voice, I had no doubt he meant every word.
"Oh, Jason, I do love you! I don't understand why you want me, but for as long as you do, I'm yours! I swear I'll never even look at another man the rest of my life! I don't have anything else to offer you!" I swore.
"Scott, you just offered me something that is the most precious thing in the fucking world! Yourself - your love. I know what you've been and can guess at what you've had to do. I don't blame you for any of that! But tell me the truth, no matter what somebody offered - no matter how much - would your love be for sale?" he asked.
I was rocked by his question. I didn't think that my love for him was such a precious gift, but putting it the way he had, I could see how he felt that it was. And he was right. If somebody offered me a million dollars, that couldn't make me love them.
"No, Jason. My love is not, nor ever has been, for sale. It's never been given to anybody but you before. I didn't know there was somebody like you in the world to give it to!" I told him.
And then he took me in his arms and kissed me again. God! Could this guy kiss! He had my toes curling just from the way he licked at my tongue! I couldn't get enough of him. But I think we both decided that if we didn't stop, we would end up going at it right here in my hospital bed. And boy wouldn't THAT shock the nurses. Or maybe, it wouldn't. But either way, neither one of us wanted to find out.
Jason got off the bed and instead dragged one of the chairs over to the side of my bed and sat down. He took my hand in his, and I lay back and we talked. We talked for hours! We told each other our life stories. I told him some of what happened to me, but not too much. I don't think he wanted to hear details and I sure would rather forget them!
Later, Brian came back to see me and Jason left to go down to the cafeteria to get something to eat. Brian told me about the plan to have me live with him and his lover. He also told me that he hadn't had a chance to talk to his lover yet and couldn't guarantee how his lover would take to the idea. But he told me he would try. I remembered what Jason had said about Brian's relationship and asked if his lover had ever said 'no' to him about anything. Brian thought for a while, but finally admitted that Ty had never said 'no' to him about anything!
Brian left and Jason came back. We talked some more. Actually talked more hours away because the next thing I knew, it was dark outside and the hospital PA system was announcing the end of visiting hours. I was heart-broken, I didn't want Jason to leave. About that time, Belle came back in. She looked at Jason and me sitting there, holding hands.
"My, my! Don't you two look happy together! You know, the best medicine in the world is love." she said.
I blushed and looked over at Jason who had also turned bright red.
"Now, don't you two get upset. There's nothing more beautiful than two young people in love with each other. I'll make sure you two aren't disturbed. You just ring if you need anything. Ok?' she asked.
We thanked her and she left.
"Don't you have to go home?" I asked Jason.
"You mean back to base? No, I've got a 72 hour pass. Don't have to be back until the day after tomorrow. Why, you want me to go?" he asked.
"No! I just didn't want to interfere. You've spent so much time with me already, I don't want to monopolize your life." I said.
He leaned over and kissed me and then, with his face still close to mine, he said, "You are my life."
I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him into the bed with me. I'd had enough of holding hands. I wanted to feel his arms around me. I wanted to feel his body next to mine.
And for the next few hours, that's the way things were. I lay in his arms, him holding me, and we talked some more. Finally, there was nothing more to talk about and we just held each other. And without realizing when, we fell asleep together.
The end of Part 9 of THE MARINE NEXT DOOR
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