The Musical
Part.2
`California' was a reality. Mike's deputy had done a lot of work while we were in Europe.
The first day back we met all the new people. Mike's deputy had the cast together and what a cast. I had never seen such a collection of beautiful young men and women. I watched Mike as he went down the line talking to each of them. He would have to be made of stone not to be turned on by some of the boys, I certainly was. I sat in the auditorium with a solid erection ogling those gorgeous hunks. They were all in swim briefs like the ones I would wear. They already had California tans that easily matched the one I had gained in Europe. I wondered how many of them were all over like mine. Mike would soon know because he would be in and out of their dressing room in the normal course of things. I would quiz him about it. I was worried though for the first time since we had been together I could see how much I would have to work to keep him all to myself. There was simply too much temptation all in one place.
With Mike's reputation, and me in the lead, talent had flocked to the auditions. If Mike could turn an unknown into a star overnight, perhaps they would be next. Quite a reason to want to be in this musical.
With so much talent, rehearsals were a dream. I had to work tremendously hard to shine in this sky populated with budding stars. Two of the other boys appeared to be a couple and I got quite friendly with them, but they were both making an obvious play for Mike. I was jealous I think because Mike responded.
One afternoon we finished rehearsals early and Mike said he had a meeting with the promoters. He would see me back at the apartment for supper.
I was pottering in the kitchen when the `phone rang.
"Good afternoon, Mike Andrews home."
"Hello young Peter, it's David Isaacs, can I speak to Mike."
"He isn't here at the moment Mr. Isaacs, I thought he was with you this afternoon."
"No, that`s tomorrow. Ask him to give me a call when he comes in."
"Ok Sir, Goodbye."
Why had he lied to me? He didn't need to do that unless he was doing something wrong. Please don't let it be what I think it is.
When he came in he was looking like the cat that got the cream, and I could smell the cologne on him that the two boys wore. I burst into tears and ran to the bedroom that I had never slept in locking the door behind me.
"Peter, what's the matter? What have I done?"
"Smell yourself Mike, and call David Isaacs, he rang here earlier."
I wouldn't talk to him again and eventually fell asleep still crying. I woke at dawn, hours before I needed to go to the theatre. I started to pack my belongings that were in this room. Most of my clothes would wait until after rehearsals when Mike was at his genuine meeting with the backers.
I was in the kitchen ready to go to the theatre when Mike walked in. He wouldn't look me in the eyes.
"I'm sorry Peter." Nothing else.
I picked up my bag and left for the theatre.
"Where are you going Peter, please come back we need to talk."
I ignored him. I was too early for everyone except the doorman but I sat in Mike's office ringing round for a short stay apartment. I had spent virtually nothing since starting with Mike so I had plenty of money. I took a small apartment on the park, sight unseen, for three months.
"I'll pay for it when I come for the keys this afternoon." I told the realtor giving him my name.
When Mike arrived, I had already had a chat with the two prime suspects. They were a little coy about it but also a bit smug so I knew I was right in my suspicions.
I would not talk to Mike about anything except the Musical. I worked my butt off to look better than anyone else. When I talked to him I wanted to do so from a position of strength. As soon as rehearsals were over and before he could ask me to stay behind I grabbed my bag and was gone. I rushed back to the apartment, packed up everything that was mine and left. I put the keys through the letterbox.
My new apartment was delightful. The concierge was nice, a young guy who was only a couple of years older than me and trying to break onto Broadway. He knew who I was. He helped me get all my gear up to the apartment and even helped me organise it.
"My name is Peter Donovan, thank you very much for your help."
He took my hand in a firm grip and replied,
"I know who you are, I'm Kurt. It's a pleasure to meet you Peter."
I did everything I could to stop myself thinking about Mike. I loved him but was so hurt at what he had done. My apartment was immaculate by the time I went to bed, exhausted. I slept badly and looked like shit when I arrived at the theatre the next morning. Mike was already there and steered me straight into his office.
"Where have you been Peter, I have been worried sick. I searched all over New York for you last night."
"I have left you a clear path with Tweedledum and Tweedledee. You don't need to sneak around with them any more you can take them back to the apartment and have them there at your beck and call. I'm not going to cause problems Mike, and I'll surrender my contract as soon as you find a replacement for me."
He was speechless as I walked out the door. I was shit in rehearsals. I just wanted to die. I loved him so much but didn't think I could share him.
Quicker than me this time, he made me see him in his office as soon as we finished.
"Peter, I'm so sorry, please forgive me. I swear it won't happen again. They are just so damn cute together, I couldn't help myself."
"And that will be your excuse next time Mike won't it, because there are always going to be cute guys coming on to you. For your information, I thought they were cute as well and watching them at the first rehearsal I was hard, but I didn't jump into their knickers at the first opportunity."
"I love you Peter, please come home. I'll do anything you ask."
"No Mike, I need time to think about this, you have really hurt me, and most importantly you have destroyed trust. I don't know if I can live with that. I have left my new apartment details with the front office and I'll switch my cell on again today. Goodbye Mike, I'll see you at rehearsals tomorrow."
T&T were hanging round outside the theatre when I left.
"He's all yours guys, enjoy."
Pathetic aren't I?
I tried not to think about him. I went out to dinner by myself and sat in a little café away from anywhere I might be known.
Kurt was just handing over to the night porter when I returned. I looked as miserable as I felt I guess because he came across the lobby towards me and said,
"Hello Peter, you look a bit down, would you like to go for a drink, I've just finished work."
"Thanks Kurt, but I don't think I am going to be very good company tonight."
"I'm a good listener and I have broad shoulders to cry on. I'm sorry if I'm being presumptuous, but you always looked so great in `Top Hat'."
"What do you mean always?"
He blushed then and said in a very soft voice, not looking at me.
"I saw you twenty times in it."
"Wow, you had better come up for a drink, you might be very good for my ego."
He was like a little dog with two tails. I had been a bit protected from fans being with Mike all the time so this was a new experience.
We sat on the couch with drinks in our hands and Kurt asked me why so sad.
"Mike Andrews has been my lover since I auditioned for `Top Hat'. We went to Europe together, I have been with him every day and every night. I love him so much and he has just been to bed with two boys in the cast of our new show. I'm devastated, it's only been forty eight hours and I am getting suicidal."
That all came out in a rush followed by buckets of tears. I was sobbing so hard it hurt, when I felt a pair of arms go round me and hug me. Then a hand started to stroke my hair and one cheek.
"It's ok baby, let it all out, nothing wrong with a good cry."
He was exactly what I needed at that moment. He continued to cuddle me and stroke my hair and face. He kissed my cheek and started rubbing my body gently as well. I could feel the warmth of his hand through my shirt and it felt so good. As I calmed down the gentle caressing started to turn me on and an obvious erection was tenting my light slacks. I had gone commando after my shower at the theatre so there was nothing to hold it in. Kurt saw it and moved his hand down to caress it gently.
"Oh Kurt that feels so nice."
He pulled away from me and kissed me on the lips and then all over my face. As he was doing it he unbuttoned my shirt and slipped it off. I felt so wanted by this man who was being so gentle with me. He continued kissing me and I might still have been able to stop him at some point until he kissed my nipples. The sensation was exquisite. I just let out a sigh and surrendered to him completely. I think he knew it because all hesitancy disappeared and his hands became more confident as he undid my trousers and pulled them off. I raised my buttocks to make it easy for him. My erection was in his mouth next being licked and sucked and thoroughly lubricated before he started in on my balls. While he was sucking my balls and licking my ball sac, he had this wonderful motion going with his other hand. My cock was being gripped firmly and a wet thumb was running backwards and forwards over my cockhead. It was sensational, he eased off when I was nearly cumming and opened my legs to get at my rosebud. I could not believe how good he was. He lifted my legs and hooked them over his shoulders while his tongue covered every inch of my butt, my anus and perineum. It was sensational and I was gasping. I felt a finger slide in over my sphincter and knew I should stop him but I couldn't, I was too far gone.
"That feels so good Kurt, please fuck me."
He continued working my anus slicking up extra fingers as he stretched me and undressed himself. When he was naked, I could see he had a condom and lube ready.
His dick was gorgeous. I watched him put the condom on and lube it and my anal passage. He eased forward on his knees until I felt the head touching the entrance to my man pussy. His hands were all over my body driving me crazy. Every time he touched my nipples I jumped and his hands were still working on my cock and balls. He was bigger than Mike, but when he entered me, I was so relaxed I hardly felt any pain.
"Kurt that feels incredible, I can feel every inch and every movement, please fuck me, fuck me hard and make me beg for more."
He was amazing, I suppose it was partly because he had not been touched, he lasted for ages, I orgasmed several times while he fucked me as hard as he could. When he did cum even with a condom on, I could feel the jets of sperm. I worked my butt muscles to milk him dry and came again. He just fell forward after he had finished and licked up all the cum on my belly and chest. When he reached my lips I could taste my own cum on them as he kissed me deeply.
"Oh Kurt that was fantastic, you are one very special lover."
I giggled as I said, "You ought to do this professionally, you'd make a fortune."
"Nah, I could only do it with someone that I loved."
"Oh crikey Kurt steady on the use of that word, it's dangerous."
"I know Peter, but why do you think I saw `Top Hat' twenty times?"
This man had brought me out of my depression made the most incredible love to me and told me he loved me all in the space of a couple of hours tops. What on earth was I to do with him? It was getting very late, could I really throw him out now but if I kept him here overnight dare I risk him sleeping in my bed.
"Kurt I think we had better have another drink and then decide what to do with you for the night."
He said nothing, just looked at me with puppy dog eyes waiting for me to make the decisions. We had another drink and curled up together still naked. It was very comfortable and very calming.
"Kurt, I'm not in love with you, what you have done tonight was wonderful and I know I will never have any regrets about it, but I still love Mike Andrews, even if he is a bastard, I suppose we are quits now. That said, would you stay the night with me?"
"Yes, yes, and yes again Peter. I don't mind that you don't love me, I am just so happy to be with you."
I gave Kurt a blowjob before we went to sleep. I wanted to get a close look at what had pleasured me. It was lovely, one of those cocks that will always turn you on. A good size without being obscene and perfectly straight with a large cut head. His ball sac was delightful, big enough for me to be able to manoeuvre his balls around for his and my pleasure but not too saggy.
We actually went 69ers and he was as good as before, I had another wonderful orgasm. We slept curled up in each other's arms and I loved it. During the night, we had moved around and I had spooned around into him. I could feel his hard cock pushed into my crease and his hand on my erect penis. I looked at the clock and sighed. There was no time to do anything if I was to make rehearsals. I eased out of bed and went for a shower. When I came back, he was awake and I bent to give him a gentle good morning kiss.
"I'm sorry Kurt I have to leave or I am going to be late for work. Take your time, help yourself to breakfast and lock up when you leave. I will see you after rehearsals."
"Thank you Peter, you are truly a loveable person."
I blushed and shot out the door.
Rehearsals went well. I was back on form. Mike and I were civil to each other but none of the warmth and love that had been part of our lives together existed. I was sad, we had been such wonderful lovers. I didn't think we could ever recapture that.
The causes of our problem were now not looking so smug. Yes, they had been to bed with the director once but made an enemy for life of the leading man. The director was now very cool towards them so nothing had been gained from their romp.
Four unhappy people, not a good omen for the show. Mike realised it as well and eventually replaced the two culprits, being decent enough to make sure they were put into another show quickly.
"That was very decent of you Mike, I am sure it is for the best. After all they were only doing what I did a year ago, only I didn't hurt anyone else doing it."
"I know Peter, I am sorry, I have lost something and someone very special. I realise now I am not going to get you back as my partner, but can we at least be friends. I miss your company so much."
"I'll try Mike, I have great respect for you professionally, but you hurt me so deeply on an emotional level I don't think I will ever trust you again, and without trust our love would be a sham."
"I understand Peter. How are you settling into your new apartment? I hope it is not as lonely as mine."
"Don't fish Mike that is not the way to make me your friend."
"Sorry Peter, oh dear I appear to be using that word rather a lot around you don't I. Must be a measure of my guilt I guess."
We left it like that and I returned to my apartment and my real problem.
Kurt, I knew was passionately in love with me. He was like a little puppy dog whenever I was in sight. He was older than I was but behaved like a very much younger brother. Talk about hero worship. After the night I cried in his arms, and we made love for the first time he was a regular visitor to my apartment and invariably remained over night. I did love his company and he was an incredibly talented, gentle and caring lover but I was not in love with him. I would eventually hurt him unless I could find some way of making him back off a little.
The night I eventually sorted my relationship with Mike I asked Kurt to come up to my apartment when he finished work.
I greeted him at the door with a kiss.
"Hello lover how has your day been?"
"Not bad but it has just this minute turned very good."
"That's what I want to talk about, come and sit down."
We sat on the couch me holding his hand but not sitting too close.
I guess I was looking very serious because I saw tears forming in the back of his eyes.
"You're ditching me aren't you Peter? Please don't." The tears were flowing freely now. "I love you so much, I don't care what you do with me but please don't ditch me."
That little outburst had lasted just long enough for me to scoot across and take him in my arms.
"No you ninny, of course I'm not ditching you."
He looked up at me through his tears.
"Honestly Peter."
"Honestly Baby."
I kissed the tears away and kissed his lips again very gently.
"But Kurt, this is what I wanted to talk about. You are a wonderful person and a truly amazing lover. I know how much you love me, but here is my worry. I don't love you in the same way, which means that one day I may find someone else and leave you. I think far too much of you to want to hurt you but I am afraid that is what I will do."
"Peter, I know. There isn't any easy way for you but you mustn't feel badly about it. Every day that I have with you is special and will be for the rest of my life. I will die inside when you leave me and no doubt drown you in tears as you tell me we are through, but I think I have always known my love for you isn't reciprocated. Don't feel bad you have given me so much."
He smiled then and it was my turn to cry. Great sobs of grief because I could not love Kurt the way he loved me.
The love making after the tears was unbelievable and indescribable. I had never had so many such intense orgasms or been fucked so completely so many times in one session. Why did I not love this man he was incredible?
I was able to do something very special for him a few weeks after that. I was having dinner with Mike, (yes, we had got that close again in our friendship,) and he told me he was co directing another musical as soon as we opened `California'.
"Will you do me an enormous favour Mike?"
"You know I would do anything for you if it is within my power Peter."
"There is a young man, sorry, he is older than me but still a young man. Will you audition him for the new show and make sure he gets a part even if you have to put a lot of work in on him. I have no idea if he is any good. If he is he could probably take over Fred's role in Top Hat he saw me in it twenty times, can you believe that?"
"How special is he Peter?"
"He is very special Mike. He loves me very much and I feel a total shit because I can't reciprocate his feelings."
I looked very hard at him for reaction.
"Sounds like a kindred spirit Peter and of course I will. I'm not casting but I will ensure the casting director takes him on. Auditions by the way are next Wednesday at our old theatre."
"Thank you Mike, believe it or not his name is Kurt Russell." ========================================================================= Final part in a couple of days.