This story is a work of FICTION. The events described are my own invention. Any similarities to actual events or persons are strictly coincidental. The author retains the copyright, and any other rights, to this original story. You may not publish it or any part of it without my explicit authorization.
This story contains depictions of consensual sexual acts between teenage males. It is intended for mature audiences only. If you find this type of material offensive or if you are under the legal age to read said material; please proceed no further.
Comments are always welcome at: hailcaesar2011@hotmail.com
The Peace Within Chapter 1
I suppose it's natural for identical twins to obsess about ways in which they're different, that was certainly the case with Patton and I. We've got the same black hair and blue eyes, same narrow nose and Nordic features, in fact, the surface differences are so few and far between, only those closest to us can really tell us apart. When we were little, our parents used to dress us alike because they thought it was cute. The older we got and the more acutely aware of how similar we are, we became, the more we tried to exploit the subtle differences.
It started in fourth grade with our clothes and hair styles. By that time, we'd had enough of our parents dressing us like a pair of identical dolls and went out of our way to make sure we never wore the same thing at the same time. The problem with that was we were as alike in our thinking as we are in our appearance. There was nothing more frustrating than coming down to breakfast and finding out that we'd both picked out the same shirt. That problem worked itself out in time and eventually we just went with it, who cared if we wore the same thing as long as we were comfortable?
Forget clothes and hair, we discovered that it was the things we couldn't control that made us unique and the older we got, the more they manifested themselves. For instance, we both get good grades but Patton say's I'm the smart one, he has to study for every A he gets and he's sure it comes naturally to me. We both had to wear glasses for reading but when we turned 12, Patton opted for Lasik surgery to correct the problem. I stuck with my glasses and even though I only have to wear them for reading, I usually keep them on, to make it easier for our friends to separate us. We're both musical, I play the piano and Patton sings in our school choir, my voice can't carry a tune to save my life.
Sports have always been important to both of us, we were very active as little kids and that's followed us to high school. Sports have also provided us the opportunity to shine on our own. Patton is the traditional jock, he plays football, wrestles and plays baseball. Aside from soccer, I stick to sports where I'm recognized for my individual ability, like swimming and cross country. Patton is the extravert and I'm the introvert, he's everyone's friend and I'm shy. It bothers me that some people mistake that and think I'm a snob, though if I'm honest, I have to admit, I do have my moments. When we were little, we had the same friends and for the most part, we still do but our different activities have exposed us to different people and that hasn't always gone over so well.
Case in point, Lee and Henry McCarthy, Patton's best friends and football buddies, they're also twins but fraternal, not identical like us. The thing about Lee and Henry is ones fat, the others thin and they're both stupid. I haven't spoken to Lee and Henry in almost 8 months because the last time we were all together, they embarrassed me and I don't have any intention of letting them get the chance to do it again. It happened last summer, it was a hot day, much hotter than average, and our air conditioning decided to crap out on us at the same time as the pump for the swimming pool. Because of the heat wave, every repairman in town was busy and we were far down the list of those waiting for some kind of relief. I was in my room, lying in front of a fan, trying to read, when Patton came in.
"Hey Parker, what are you up to?" said Patton.
"Just catching up on my summer reading list," I explained.
"We haven't had a summer reading list since 6th grade," Patton reminded me.
"I'm not doing it for school, I just have a bunch of books I want to get through this summer," I replied.
"Right," said Patton, "listen, Lee and Henry are coming to pick me up, why don't you come and hang out with us?"
"Hmmm," I pondered, "no."
"Why not?" asked Patton.
"I'm reading," I reminded him.
"Parker, it's a million degrees in here, come tubing with us, it'll be fun," said Patton.
"Tubing?" I asked, setting my book aside.
"Yeah you know, we take inner tubes out to the Housatonic, park the truck and float down the river for a few miles, then walk back," Patton explained.
"Absolutely not, I'm not a redneck," I replied, then returned to my copy of A Separate Peace.
"Just so you know, when you whine about people thinking you're stuck-up, it's because of comments like that," Patton scolded.
"I'm not stuck-up," I replied softly.
"I know you're not, so come have fun with us and prove it," said Patton.
"You're going to keep bugging me until I say yes, aren't you?" I asked.
"It's a pretty sound plan, if you ask me," Patton grinned.
"Ok," I sighed, "let's going tubing."
"Awesome," Patton smiled, "get changed and meet me downstairs."
When Patton left, I threw on a pair of board shorts, stuffed a towel in my backpack and then went to the bathroom to grab some sunscreen. Patton and I both burn in the sun and I knew he'd forget to put on lotion if I didn't remind him. With that finished, I headed downstairs and met Patton out front, just as the McCarthy's were pulling up, with Conner Wilkes, in their moms Suburban.
"Come on boy's, shake a leg, let's go!" shouted Lee, as he stuck his head out the window and honked the horn.
"Oh this is going to be so much fun," I said sarcastically and folded my arms over my chest.
"Loosen up and it will be," said Patton, as he gave me a playful punch in the arm, then headed for the truck.
I rolled my eyes but Lee started honking again so I grabbed my bag and followed my brother to the truck. As soon as I sat down, Henry popped up from the third row of seats, put me in a headlock and ruffled my hair.
"Hey limp dick, no math club today?" Henry asked gregariously.
"No McCarthy, I'm not in the math club and it's summertime," I stated, answering him quite literally.
"Well good, it's about time you grew some hair on your balls and tagged along with the big boys, this is going to be fun," said Henry, giving my short black hair another ruffle.
Their crude language and abrasive manners are just some of the many things I dislike about the McCarthy twins. I would have gotten out of the car if Lee hadn't already pulled out of the driveway, oh, yeah, and if my head wasn't stuck under a beefy goon's armpit. I was about to register my protest when Patton stuck up for me.
"Hey, leave the kid alone, he agreed to come with us, he doesn't need you busting his chops," said Patton, from the front passenger seat.
"Kid", Patton thinks he's justified in calling me that because he's five minutes older.
"Alright," said Henry, apologetically, as he released me, "I didn't mean to ruffle The Professor's feathers."
"The Professor," Henry calls me that because I'm an honor student and he's a moron.
It took half an hour to drive from our town, Wallingford, to the Housatonic River. I sat quietly and listened to the other's talk about football and girls. As far as I knew, Patton was the only one of us that had a girlfriend but that didn't stop Conner and the McCarthy's from bragging about girls they'd supposedly made it with. I only stopped rolling my eyes because I was afraid they'd get stuck if I didn't.
We were reminded of just how hot it was the moment we got to the river and stepped out of the air conditioned Suburban. Connecticut is no stranger to humidity in the summer but it was more oppressive that day then any I'd ever experienced in my 16 years. I took off my glasses and stuffed them in my backpack, with my towel, then threw my t-shirt on the seat and started applying sunscreen.
"What are you greasing up for, Prof, wanna wrestle?" asked Lee.
"I'd like to not spend the next week with a sunburn," I retorted.
"Yeah me either," said Patton, as he took the tube from me, "we'll wrestle later."
The other's laughed and when he was sure they wouldn't see it, Patton gave me a wink. He always has my back when we're with Henry and Lee. When the laughing subsided, Patton put sunscreen on my back then I did his. Anyone looking at us would have seen two perfect clones but I could see the differences. Patton's chest and shoulders are a little bigger than mine, that's probably from football and wrestling. My stomach muscles are tighter then his, that's from the swimming. When we were finished, we each grabbed an inner tube from the back of the Suburban, then raced down to the river and jumped in head first.
The Housatonic starts at Muddy Pond, near Washington, Massachusetts and meanders through the Berkshire Mountains before it crosses into Connecticut and makes its way to the Long Island Sound. The water was ice cold and I felt goose pimples break out across my skin. When I climbed up on my inner tube, the hot air greeted my cold flesh and evaporation kept me nice and cool, while the current carried us along. It was a leisurely cruise, we followed the river's gentle curves, everyone relaxed and took in the pastoral scenery.
We were out there for hours. We arrived at 4:00pm and when I looked at my watch, the hands pointed to 7:00pm. Despite the length of time, we were only three miles from the truck, thanks to the many curves and switchbacks of the river. It felt like we'd been plodding along and I didn't learn just how fast we were going until it was almost time to get out of the water. I was so relaxed that when the tree, hidden just below the surface, hooked my board shorts, it pulled me into the water. I struggled for a moment but we were going so fast that before I could do anything, the current carried me off, leaving my shorts behind. I scrambled back aboard my inner tube but stayed in the middle of it, so no one could see me from the waist down.
"What happened?" asked Conner, he'd seen me go under for a moment.
"Uh, nothing, just got snagged on something," I replied.
"Gotta watch out for that," said Lee, "lots of forest debris gets washed into the river."
"Yeah," I agreed.
Patton looked back at me with a quizzical expression, he knew something was wrong but didn't ask. I'm glad he didn't, I wasn't sure what I was going to say when it was time to get out of the water. That time arrived all too quickly, five minutes later, we pulled into a cove where the current slowed and we could walk out onto the dry, sandy riverbank. Everyone climbed out of the water but I lingered behind.
"I know I practically engraved you an invitation to come with us, but I'm not engraving one to invite you out of the water," Patton grinned.
"I'm coming, I'm coming," I huffed, slowly getting closer to the bank, everyone was watching me now.
"Come on Prof, it's at least three miles back to the truck, let's go," said Henry.
"Right, why don't you guys go on ahead and come get me on the way back?" I offered.
"It'll be dark by then, we might not be able to find you, why would you want to stay here anyway?" asked Conner.
"Yeah, come on kid, let's go home," said Patton.
"Fine," I grumbled, then stood up, in nothing but my underwear.
Laughter rippled across the small riverbank. Lee, Henry, Conner, even Patton spasmed so hard, I thought they were going to break their backs. What was worse, there was another pack of tubers coming up behind us, a mom and dad with four kids who were a mere 400 yards from a real eyeful.
"Parker, what the hell happened to your shorts?" Patton asked, between bouts of laughter.
"Oh my God, you lost them when you went under, huh?" asked Conner.
"They got hooked on a damn tree," I grumbled, only causing more laughter from my compatriots.
"Well there's nothing we can do about it here, let's go back to the truck and get you a towel," said Patton, when he caught his breath.
"I can't, I can't walk along the side of the interstate dressed like this," I replied.
"We can't just leave you here, it's getting dark," said Patton.
I started to feel very small, my natural modesty kicked in and I crossed my arms over my chest in an attempt to make myself even smaller. It was then that the family, that had been trailing us, sailed by.
"Mommy, that boy doesn't have any pants!" exclaimed one of the little girls, eliciting laughs from her parents and siblings.
I felt my whole body blush.
"Alright, that's it, you take my shorts and I'll walk back in my underwear," said Patton, as he started to untie his drawstring.
"Patton, no!"
"Why not, I don't care who sees me," said Patton.
"Well I do," I stated.
"Why?" asked Patton, confusion on his face.
"Because, you're body's the same as mine, if anyone see's you, it's just as bad as them seeing me," I explained.
"Got it, I have the solution," said Patton.
He untied his drawstring, shimmied out of his shorts and then threw them in the river.
"Patton!" I exclaimed.
"It's like you said, my body's your body, now we're in this together," he smiled, "now will you walk back with us?"
"I guess I don't have much choice," I chuckled.
"That's the spirit," said Patton. He put his arm around my shoulder, the others huddled around us to mask our attire, and we proceeded up the gentle slope of the riverbank.
"Cute undies guys," giggled Lee.
"This is all your fault, you know?" I replied.
"Hey, I didn't pull your shorts off," Lee complained.
"Well, you drove!" I exclaimed.
I don't know what made me think of that day, maybe it was my minds way of trying to warm me up while I stood there in the frigid April wind, in just a t-shirt and track pants. Whatever it was, I didn't have long to ponder it, one of my teammates kicked the ball towards the goal I was supposed to be defending and because I wasn't paying attention, it struck me in the forehead, knocking me on my backside.
"Ouch," I groaned, after lying there for a minute.
My coach and some of my teammates gathered around me, looking concerned.
"Westergaard, how many fingers am I holding up?" asked Coach Riley.
"Three coach, I'm fine, just a little caught off guard is all," I blushed.
"Alright," Coach Riley grinned and helped me to my feet, "That's enough for today boys, hit the showers, let's go home."
When we got to the locker room, everyone stripped and headed for the showers but me. My head hurt from my encounter with the soccer ball and my throat felt scratchy, I'd felt like I was coming down with something all day. I took off my shin guards and tossed them in my locker, then shrugged on my varsity jacket and left the locker room, heading for the parking lot. When we turned 16, our parents gave us the old family car, a Volvo SUV, complete with soccer mom sticker on the rear window. I found Patton sitting on the hood, evidently baseball practice had wrapped up early, he was in street clothes and his hair was damp from the after practice shower.
"Hey kid, catch another ball with your face?" asked Patton.
"Is it that bad?" I replied, sheepishly.
"Nah, just a little red spot on your forehead," said Patton, "You wanna drive?"
Usually we took turns, if he drove to school, I drove home, but I didn't feel so great and I wasn't in the mood.
"No thanks, you go ahead," I replied, then slipped into the passenger seat.
"Would you mind stopping by CVS on the way home?" I asked, once he got behind the wheel.
"No problem, why?" asked Patton.
"I wanna get some cough drops and orange juice," I replied.
"Not feeling so good? Coming down with something?" he asked.
"Maybe, better safe than sorry," I replied.
"Uh huh, I know what it is, you don't want to take that trig test tomorrow," he grinned.
"Patton, have I ever dodged a test before?" I asked, irritably.
"Right, I forgot who I was talking to," he grinned.
It was quiet after that, I hunkered down in my seat and rested my head against the doorframe. I almost drifted off to sleep, but Patton pulled into the CVS lot and hit a parking bumper, just like he always did.
"Hey Parker, are you sure you want to go in there?" he asked.
"Yeah, why not?" I asked.
"You kinda reek," he laughed.
I shot him a dirty look then climbed out of the car. I knew I didn't exactly smell like a bouquet of roses but if you've ever been in a boys locker room, you know it's not exactly sanitary and I didn't want to hang out there, feeling like I did. It only took me a few minutes to grab a bag of Riccola cough drops and some OJ, but the line to check out was a mile long. The clerk was my age, he had mousey brown hair and brown eyes, his nametag read Derek, and I couldn't get over the feeling that I knew him from somewhere. Shelton High is a big school, I figured I'd seen him in the halls before.
"Did you find everything ok?" asked Derek, when it was my turn at the register.
"Yeah, thanks," I coughed.
"You look familiar," said Derek.
"Do you go to Shelton?" I asked.
"Yeah but you're not in any of my classes...wait, did you take piano lessons with old Mrs. Harper?" said Derek.
"I used to," I replied.
"Me too, my names Derek Carter, do you still play or ..." he began.
"Can we move this along, my ride's waiting," I interrupted.
I wasn't trying to be rude to him but I didn't feel good, my head was throbbing and I stank, I wasn't in the mood for a trip down memory line.
"Sorry, your total's $8.61," said Derek.
I handed him a ten dollar bill and he handed me my change, then my purchase, with a neutral look on his face.
"Have a nice day, sir," Derek said coldly.
"Uh, yeah, thanks," I mumbled, then turned towards the door.
"Prick," he whispered under his breath.
I turned and looked at him but he'd already started to ring up his next customer. Knowing what I know now, I wish I'd gone back and apologized, explained that I didn't mean to be rude, that I was sick and wanted to go home. Maybe that would have made a difference, maybe it wouldn't, I'll never know. Instead, I shrugged my shoulders and walked out to the car.
When we got home, I went straight up stairs and took a shower. The hot water felt good, I still felt sick but at least I felt the tension of my long day at school and practice, ebbing from my shoulders. I dried off, put on a clean t-shirt and some pajama bottoms, than laid on my bed for 15 minutes of blissfully uninterrupted rest. When mom called us down to dinner, I was the last one to arrive and slumped down in my seat.
"Something wrong sweetie?" asked mom.
"I think I'm coming down with the flu, cold or something," I sniffled in reply.
My dad leaned over and put the back of his hand against my forehead then my cheeks. He's a pediatrician here in town and my mom is a professor of English Literature. She works down the road at a university in New Haven.
"You're a little warm, how's your throat?" asked dad.
"Scratchy," I replied.
"Why don't you take some Nyquil after dinner and go to bed early?" Mom offered.
"Yeah, I think I will," I replied.
"I'll check on you in the morning, before I leave for the office," dad smiled.
"K, thanks."
Dad smiled again and patted me on the shoulder. After that, it was just a normal family dinner. I have three siblings, our sister, Whitney, is 26 and lives in Manhattan with her husband Jeff and our nephew, Aiden. Patton and I are 16 and our little brother, Patrick, is 12. Mom and dad have always been interested in the things happening in our lives and dinner time has always been a time to catch up. My parents both have serious careers but no matter what they're doing, they make sure we eat together, every night at 6:30. I like that about my family, it makes me feel close to them and I was happy to sit back and listen to Patton and Patrick talk about what had happened at school that day.
"Coach Simmons is having me start on Friday," said Patton.
"That's great son, I know you've been working really hard on your pitching this year," said Dad.
It was true too, for the last 8 months, Patton has dragged me outside to catch for him every chance he gets. He's getting really good to, the last few times, I thought he was going to burn a hole through my glove, there was so much heat on that ball.
"Are you guys going to make it?" asked Patton.
"I have a department meeting but I should get there before the third inning," said mom.
"My last patient isn't until 4:30 but I'll head over as soon as I wrap things up," said Dad.
"Cool, thanks," said Patton.
Our parents work a lot but they usually make time for important things like the swimming finals or Patton and Patrick's games. They're very supportive and we try to be very understanding, when they can't be there.
"What about me, I wanna go," said Patrick.
Patrick plays baseball too and I think Patton is his idol. He never wants me to catch for him, I think he likes to show off for his other big brother, and that's ok. It's kind of cute to watch them bond. I usually sit against the big maple tree in the backyard and pretend to be interested in my book, while they play catch and talk about the Red Sox.
"Parker will come pick you up, right honey?" mom asked.
"I've got soccer practice," I reminded them.
"It's ok, I'll just walk," Patrick pouted.
"No, I'll tell Coach Riley I'm going to be late, just be ready to go when I get there," I sighed.
I didn't want to be late to practice and I knew Coach Riley wouldn't appreciate it but it was a long way for Patrick to walk and well, he and I don't have much in common and I didn't want him to think I didn't care about him.
"Cool, thanks Parker," Patrick beamed.
I looked up and dad winked at me then mom mouthed the words "thank you."
"You're welcome buddy," I replied, but he had already moved on to the next topic.
"Hey Patton, it's Red Sox versus the Yankee's tonight, wanna watch with me?" asked Patrick.
"That depends, am I going to be able to do my homework and watch the game or are you going to be distracting me by yelling at the umps all night?" asked Patton.
"I'll be good, I promise!" Patrick exclaimed.
"Well, since you put it that way..." Patton grinned.
"Awesome!" Patrick cheered.
I wish I still got that excited over little things like that, I also wish I had a picture of that moment. Looking around the table, it was just Wednesday night dinner but everyone was happy, everyone was content, I wish I could have frozen that moment in amber and carried it with me always.
When dinner was over, mom excused me from my turn at washing the dishes. I went to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of orange juice, mixed in a shot of Nyquil, then popped two asprin and chased them with my nasty concoction. I stood over the sink for a moment, to make sure I wouldn't barf it up, then mom kissed me on the cheek and I went up to my room. I climbed into bed and was asleep before my head hit the pillow.
When I woke the next morning, I had a full blown sore throat, my joints ached and my head was swimming. I lie there for a few minutes and, true to his word, dad came in to check on me, before leaving for work.
"How are you feeling this morning, kiddo?" asked dad.
"Like crap," I groaned.
Dad looked at my throat then took my temperature. I lie there, waiting for the thermometer to register a reading, when Patton walked in and leaned against the door frame.
"Ah he's faking," Patton grinned.
Dad took the thermometer out of my mouth, then held it under the lamp so he could read it. With dad's back turned, I gave Patton the finger, then nestled back against my pillow.
"I don't think so, 101, looks like you're staying home," said dad.
"Uh huh, no trig test then," said Patton, still grinning.
"He'll make it up when he feels better," said dad, then he kissed me on the forehead and stood up, "I've got to get going, I'll call and check on you at lunch, ok?"
"Yeah dad, thanks," I whispered through my sore throat.
"And you, don't give him such a hard time when he doesn't feel good," said dad, when he turned to Patton.
"Who, me?" said Patton feigning hurt.
Dad kissed him on the forehead too, then he was gone.
"Alright, I'll grab your homework for you," said Patton.
"Thanks," I sighed.
"See ya," said Patton, and then he was gone too.
Before mom left, she brought me some orange juice and another round of asprin, then I went back to sleep. I was resting quite comfortably when my cell phone started ringing. I looked at the alarm clock and saw that it was only 11:30, too soon for dad to be calling. I felt around the nightstand for my phone and saw Patton's name flashing on the caller ID. I didn't care what was going on at school, I felt like crap and I didn't want to waste what voice I had talking about something that could wait until he got home, so I ignored the call.
As soon as my voicemail picked up, I rested my head back against the pillow, only the phone started to ring again. Patton's name flashed across the screen once more and I figured he'd keep calling until I answered, so I picked up the phone.
"What?" I exclaimed, mustering what voice I could.
"Parker?" said Patton, in a strained whisper, I heard what sounded like firecrackers going off in the background.
"Patton, where are you? What the hell's that noise?" I asked.
"I'm in the library, I came to pick up a book your English teacher said you needed. Now just listen, I don't think I have much time," he whispered.
I heard the sound of firecrackers again and it seemed like they were getting closer to wherever Patton happened to be standing.
"What's going on?" I asked.
"There was an explosion, a couple of guys with guns, some kids are dead," said Patton.
"What?" I exclaimed, I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
"I don't know what's going to happen to me, I need you to do some things for me, in case I don't make it," said Patton.
"Patton, don't say that, you're scaring me."
"I'm scared too kid but I need you to listen, it's important," he replied.
"Ok," I replied in resignation.
"I want you to tell mom, dad, Patrick and Aribella that I love them," he began, "and you have to promise me that you'll help Patrick with pop flies, he's been having trouble with them."
"Yeah, of course, anything you want but..." I started.
"Wait, there's more. You have to go to the home and visit gramps a couple times a month, and read to him, he likes it when I do that," he continued.
The whole time he was talking, the staccato of gun shots ricocheting throughout the room grew louder.
"You have to tell Kelsey that she's the best girlfriend a guy could ever have and that I'll always love her," said Patton, his voice cracking when he talked about her.
"Patton just keep your head down and hide, you'll be ok," I replied, my voice trembling.
"Most of all, I want you to remember that I love you more than anything in this world. You're the smartest, best person I've ever known and I'm so proud to be your brother, I..." but he stopped abruptly.
"Patton, Patton?" I shouted into the receiver.
He hadn't hung up, I could still hear the gunshots in the background, still hear the terrified screams coming from boys and girls alike. A girl screamed close by, then I heard Patton's voice again, it echoed as though he were shouting down a well.
"Leave her alone, she didn't do anything to you, none of us have done anything to you," said Patton.
"Fuck off you jock douche bag," said a voice that I recognized but couldn't place.
The gun fired again, it was so loud this time, so close, I had to yank the phone away from my ear. The gunshot was followed by a girls scream and another burst of fire, followed by laughter.
"Who wants to be next?" shouted the familiar voice.
"Patton, Patton!" I screamed, I had tears streaming down my cheeks.
More gunshots, more screaming, more laughter, then the line went dead.