The Pellegrine - Magi at Work 11 -Honesty
The Pellegrine
BY Soul Lark
Book VI Magi at Work
Chapter 11 Honesty
© The author reserves all rights to this work.
Disclaimer:
This story is of an adult nature. It is not intended for minors nor for those whose law in their land forbids them to read this material. This story is entirely fictional. Any resemblance to actual people is purely coincidental and unintentional.
NB: Words found between asterisks (*) refer to words exchanged in psychic or telepathic communication.
Date: 27 August 2674, Thursday
Stephanie was surprised to see Jacques waiting for her at the hotel lobby the next day. She asked her friends to go on ahead for breakfast whilst she talked to her brother.
“Jacques! What brings you here? You should be working in Uranus.”
“Hi Stef,” said Jacques quietly.
Stephanie immediately sensed that Jacques knew something. She continued to act as if nothing had happened.
“You haven’t answered me, Jacques. Why the sudden holiday?”
“I came to be with Heath. He was here on business. We tried to contact you at your dormitory yesterday but you weren’t there. We guessed that you were on holiday. I guess I was overprotective and I ventured to ask if Mark was with you. To my relief, I found out that you were here with friends and not alone with Mark.”
“C’mon Jacques. I know that you’re my big brother but you shouldn’t …”
“That’s not the reason I’m here Stef.”
“Oh?” said Stephanie with a little tremble in her voice.
“We thought we’d look Mark up as he’d be alone without you. We didn’t realise that you’d broken up.”
“Well,” said Stephanie agitatedly, “it was your fault. If you hadn’t forced him to make the promise, we’d still be together.”
“He’s in a severe depression right now, Stef.”
“Well, that’s not my problem. You guys can dump girls without a thought. Well, it’s your turn to …”
“You forget that I’m gay, my sister,” Jacques reminded Stephanie, “and that war of the sexes argument doesn’t hold any water anymore.”
“Well, I repeat, his depression’s not my concern. If he’s that weak, then he’s the wrong guy for me. I want a strong man in my life, not a weakling.”
“I’m trying to understand why you broke up with him. According to him, it was because he didn’t want to sleep with you. I don’t believe that. What’s the real reason Stef? Is it because you’ve fallen in love with another guy?”
“I don’t believe it!” shrieked Stephanie. Many hotel guests turned their heads. Stephanie looked embarrassed and apologised to them. With a lower voice she asked, “He actually told you?! He must be crazy to tell you these things!”
“Mark isn’t himself anymore. If it’d been because of another guy, I think he’d accept it. But this reason you gave … it’s like he failed because he loved you too much! For two years there was no reason to doubt your love for each other. Then, without even a hint of a change of heart, without a warning, you throw him back his ring. That broke his heart up. Heath is trying to help him get over you. It’s going to be hard because you’re his first deep love.”
“If you’re trying to make me feel guilty, it’s not working,” said Stephanie.
“I’m not trying to make you or anyone else feel guilty. I want to understand. I’m also concerned about you. I’ve known you to fib a little but it must be big to cause such a hurt to someone whom you appeared to have loved. Does sex mean so much to you that Mark means so little?”
“Why are you on his side? I’m your sister! Don’t you care how I feel?”
“I do. That’s why I’m here. All of us change, Stef. I’ve said this so many times: I want to understand. I want to know how you really feel. I didn’t accuse you of being stupid to leave Mark though I admit I feel a little of that.”
“You feel I’m stupid to leave Mark? I should’ve left him a long time ago. He’s always so nice that it’s sickening!” Stephanie said. She was now getting a little more nervous than before and her tone of voice was a little higher.
“So, you’re telling me that you don’t even love him. Yet you accepted his ring. I’ve known you to be straight with people. You never mince words. Yet you were deceiving him? C’mon Stef, help me understand why.”
“It was expected of me, okay? Everything in my life was expected of me. My studies, Mark, Dad … all was expected of me. It was the proper thing to do.”
Jacques didn’t stop the onslaught, “That’s bullshit! You always did what you thought. Dad? Expected? You never gave him a second thought before he quit his job with the project. You didn’t even bother to think about how he might feel when you said you preferred to remain here on Earth to finish your studies. All of us were expected to give our best, Stef, but you never did your best. You dipped in your studies and you never even showed any concern.”
Stephanie kept silent with tears and anger in her eyes. Jacques said in a gentler tone, “Sorry sis. I shouldn’t have said those things. If you want me to go, I’ll go. I’d thought you’d be a little depressed after your break-up with Mark but I was wrong. You’re sore, but not out. I guess I overstepped my limit. Sorry. If you want me to go, just say so and I’ll go.”
Stephanie took out her handkerchief and wiped away her tears. “No, stay,” she said, “let’s have breakfast together. I’m sorry for being bitchy. I’m a little down after the break-up and your company is welcome. My friends know that I broke up with Mark but they don’t know why. They’ve given up trying to cheer me up. They realised after yesterday that I wasn’t going to be fun during this trip and pretty much left me to do what I wanted.”
Nothing more was said of Mark during breakfast. Jacques didn’t think that Stephanie would reveal much. However, he knew that Stephanie’s mind was already made up regarding Mark. Mark had lost her for good.
§ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ §
Date: 4 September 2674, Friday
Jacques and Heath were on the floor of their den. It was truly the first time in weeks that they were totally alone and they had taken the opportunity to be intimate.
Heath’s probing tongue found its way into Jacques slightly open mouth. From experience, Heath knew that Jacques loved to be kissed that way. His hands caressed the two muscles that lay on either side of Jacques’ backbone. He knew that Jacques was very sensitive there. Once in a while, he would move his hands to Jacques’ shoulder blade but always returning to the back.
Jacques was totally relaxed and did not make any move to encourage Heath. After many minutes of deep kissing, Heath removed his lips from Jacques’ and started gently kissing his face. Heath started at the cheeks, then the forehead, the eyelids and finally, the spots which Jacques loved the most: the areas just behind the earlobes. Heath started at the right. He stuck out his tongue and gently licked the skin there. He could feel Jacques taking in a sharp breath, signalling that his tongue was succeeding.
Heath then moved his lips across Jacques’ bare skin. He could feel Jacques squirming in pleasure. Jacques’ hands were caressing the back of Heath’s neck, giving him motivation to continue his actions. Gradually, they moved to the missionary position to make love.
*Open your thoughts to me,* thought Jacques, with his lips on Heath’s and their tongues playing with each other. *Let’s share our pleasures and feelings.*
Heath hesitatingly opened himself to Jacques. Jacques opened himself fully to Heath. The exchange of emotions brought the both of them to a different level of pleasure that they could never experience physically. This was the first time that Jacques had requested a sharing. Jacques reached the point of no return first. As he was ejaculating into the rubber, he caught the happiness Heath had because he had pleasured him. Then there was a feeling which Heath shut off immediately the moment Jacques touched it. That dampened the high feeling that Jacques usually felt with his orgasm.
“What did you do that for?” asked Jacques.
“Do what?”
“Shut your feeling from me.”
Heath looked at Jacques and said, “If I’d shown you, you’d probably be even more frustrated than you are now.”
Jacques looked both angry and puzzled.
“Sorry Jacques, I should’ve had this talk with you after helping out Max. I’ve just been procrastinating.” Heath stood up and stretched out his hand. “Come, we need to sit on the couch for a talk.” [Author’s note: if you don’t know who Max is, see Chapters 4 to 8 of this book (Book VI).]
Jacques took Heath’s hand and Heath helped him up. They moved towards the couch. Heath bent down to give the seated Jacques a peck on the forehead before sitting down.
“What was that for?” asked Jacques.
“For being you. For being the man I love. C’mon, there’re some things I need to say.” After Heath sat down, he continued, “Remember what I said about Max just after he ‘got us back together’?”
“Yes,” replied Jacques, “you said that we needed to be honest with one another.”
“Honesty,” said Heath, “is the key to any good relationship. It wasn’t there in Stephanie’s and Mark’s relationship.”
“I can see that Stef wasn’t honest with Mark but I can’t see where Mark has been dishonest.”
“Well, I wouldn’t really use the word dishonest with regard to Mark. He didn’t want to deceive. It was more the lack of honesty.” Heath could see that Jacques was not too clear. “The first kind of honesty is honesty to oneself. Mark wasn’t honest with and to himself. He was blinded by love, having an idealistic picture of his relationship with your sister. Sure, he was in love but he didn’t see that the kind of affection Stephanie had for him was different. If he was really honest, he’d seen how wrong he was. All relationships, even ours, have rough spots and tensions. If we aren’t honest with ourselves, we won’t be able to look squarely at those tough times and deal with it. It’ll explode in our faces and then we won’t be able to handle anything.
“So I guess the next kind is honesty with others,” said Jacques.
“On the dot. Stephanie wasn’t honest with herself either and so she wasn’t able to be honest with Mark. After she found out that she wasn’t pregnant, she didn’t even try to make up with Mark. Perhaps she wasn’t really in love with Mark after all and she wasn’t brave enough to admit it to herself nor to Mark. I’m inclined, though, to think that she likes Mark a lot but she’s still very self-centred.”
“I can see what you mean,” said Jacques. “After she discovered that the delay in her menses was because of the substance she had ingested in the drink, she was very relieved. I guess that there was a battle in her. In the end, pride won. She was afraid of losing credibility with Mark if she went back; but I’m sure Mark isn’t like that …”
“I won’t be too sure,” said Heath. “Mark was very hurt and that hurt won’t easily go away even if he takes Stef back. Suspicions will still be there and the tensions they’ll cause in the relationship would be higher than before.”
“What a pity!” remarked Jacques.
“… which brings me to us,” said Heath. “I think we need this honesty too if we want to deepen our relationship and grow as a couple.”
It dawned on Jacques what Heath meant.
“I love you, Jacques. I wish I could say that I’d never hurt you but I know that that isn’t honest. I know that there’ll be times when I’ll do things that hurt you a little or a lot. There’ll also be times when you’ll hurt me without knowing. These are things I’ll have to accept wholeheartedly. We’re not a perfect couple.”
Jacques relaxed a little and Heath continued, “Just now, I pulled away from you something I didn’t want you to see. I admit that it wasn’t really honest of me. I’d kept putting off telling you because I was afraid of your reaction. I’m going to take the risk to let you see what I hid. Get ready.”
Jacques was a little apprehensive but he didn’t want to spoil this moment of intimacy and growth with Heath. He reached in and saw what Heath had drawn away.
When he understood, he drew back and asked Heath, “Heath, you should’ve told me. I wouldn’t be mad. A little disappointed perhaps but nothing earth shattering that would cause me to think less of you.”
“I never dared to tell you because I wanted so much to let you enjoy yourself. A little sacrifice on my part was expected.”
“If I’d known that it was so uncomfortable … there’re other ways of making love you know?”
“In the first place, it isn’t painful. I know that it was painful for you. Secondly, I wanted you to enjoy it.”
Jacques smiled and said, “Now that I know, I’m sure I’ll not enjoy it again.”
“You do understand that I’ll make the sacrifice again if you insist on fucking me.”
“Heath!” exclaimed Jacques. “Our lovemaking is for our enjoyment, not just mine. I admit that when I feel your tight hole surrounding my dick, it is heaven. However, knowing the discomfort you feel, how can I call it love-making anymore. It’s just plain animal fucking. You’re not enjoying yourself. Sure, you draw some satisfaction from knowing that I’m enjoying myself but it’s not mutual.”
“It’s not easy to be honest. It’s hard,” admitted Heath. “I know that honesty doesn’t merely mean to tell others the truth. It means being true to myself and to you. Fear can be a great obstacle to honesty. Most of the time, the fear of what might happen prevents us from being honest. It is true that, sometimes, honesty would demand that the truth be kept back but if it is fear that keeps the truth from being known, that fear’ll become greater and it may cause great sadness and regret.”
Jacques nodded, understanding what Heath was saying and agreeing with him. “Heath,” Jacques said, “I love you for you, not because your arse is tight. You were so insistent that I shouldn’t be bottom because it was painful for me. What I didn’t realise was that it wasn’t a joyride for you either. I know that many guys enjoy getting fucked but you’re not one of those.” Then Jacques grinned cheekily, “I also know that your arse is also one of your hot spots. I saw that in your experience. So, I’ve a great idea of how to finish what we started just now.” Jacques wiggled his middle finger, “I think my middle finger is long enough to get your prostate going, don’t you think?”
Heath grinned at the suggestion. They adjourned to the floor again. This time, Heath had a very intense orgasm and Jacques came again. They had begun to rediscover the joys of true love-making.
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