DISCLAIMER: Not for people under the age of 18 years. Includes homoerotic material that may be unsuitable for some readers. This is a fictional story (how I hate to say it) involving celebrities. This story is in no way meant to imply or suggest the sexual orientation of anyone involved.
-------------- The Real Kevin -------------- by Neil e-mail me at NeilsANerd@aol.com
Part III --------
After their lengthy preparation, Howie announced "Well, Neil, we've gotta go now. We should be back in a couple of hours. Unless you want to go with us?"
"Oh no, I have some things to take care of."
"Oops, I forgot something in my room." Kevin was making sure he was the last to leave. He walked towards his room, then turned around when he was sure the other Boys had walked outside. He gave me a quick kiss and said, "I'm going to tell them in the dressing room after this rehearsal."
"If you're sure of it, go for it." I smiled as he left.
Moments later, Andy called me. "Hey, man, can I ask a favor? I have to be gone for the rest of the day. Can you feed my dogs and water the plants?"
"Sure, I can do that. I don't really have anything else planned. Oh, crap, the Boys wanted you to come to the concert tonight. Are you sure you can't make it?"
"Yeah, I'm sure. I'm sorry I'll be missing it. By the way, speaking of plans, how did yours turn out?"
"The plan was screwed up. But things still turned out...way better than I could have imagined." I quickly hung up, smiling.
Then I decided to go to my favorite spot in the house, a small bell-tower type patio up on the roof. I sat up there thinking for a long time. I wondered what it was exactly that Kevin was going to say. Would he just tell them he was gay, or would he mention us? That would change things here at the house, however long they decided to stay. I remembered that I had to call Shannon and tell her about going to the concert tonight. After I told her that they personally invited us, I couldn't hear out of my left ear for a while.
The Boys finally made it back to the house. As they got out of the van, they looked so tired. Tired or shocked? I wasn't sure. I opened the door for them and said, "Hey, guys. How was the rehearsal?"
"Tiring. Must sleep now." Brian said.
Nick agreed with him, "Yeah, good night."
AJ was the next to enter the house. "Hey, you got any movies to watch?"
I answered, "Yeah, go ahead and have a look in the cabinet next to the TV."
"I'll watch with you, AJ." Howie said as he followed AJ.
Kevin was the last to enter. As he walked in, he just shook his head 'No.' I nodded, understanding that he hadn't told them. "Ready to go see the sights?" I asked.
"Sure, man. Just let me go change."
We got into my car. "Why didn't you?"
"I just couldn't. I told them that we needed to talk. But when we were in the dressing room, I just couldn't. It was too hard. Where are we going?"
"I understand; it's very hard to come out to people. And we're going to Andy's apartment. He had to leave town, so I promised him that I'd feed his dogs and water his plants."
"So he won't be there?" Kevin asked rather enthusiastically.
"No, he won't. What are you thinking about?" I asked.
"Oh, same thing you are."
He couldn't have been further from the truth. I was thinking about tomorrow, when the guys had to leave. What would happen then? Would I just go about my life like it was just an ordinary weekend? I couldn't do that. I really felt something when I was around Kevin. "No, I don't think you are."
"Well, I'll have to change that." Kevin put his hand on my thigh and squeezed. I laughed and pushed it away.
"STOP THAT!! It tickles!"
We arrived at Andy's building. We entered Andy's apartment, and I went to fill up the watering can. "Turn on the radio by the window so we can listen to some music." Kevin did so, just as the song "I Do" by 98 degrees came on. I was busy watering the plants when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I spun around to see Kevin reaching out his hand. "Want to dance?"
"Sure." I smiled. It was a very romantic dance. He hugged me close, and I put my head on his shoulder. He sang along with the second verse:
"In my world, before you
I lived outside my emotions; didn't know where I was going.
'Til that day, I found you.
Now you've opened my life to a new paradise.
In a world torn by change
Still with all my heart, 'til my dying day." He then leaned in to kiss me. We kissed until the end of the song. I still was thinking about tomorrow.
"Kevin, what happens tomorrow? I don't want to see you leave."
He started to laugh.
"What is so funny? I'm busy thinking about how much I care for you, and how I hate to see you leave tomorrow. And you're here laughing it up!" I made it clear that his behavior really upset me.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I'm not supposed to tell you yet."
"You're not supposed to tell me what yet? Kevin, answer me." I gave him a strong, hurtful look in the eye as I moved away from him and our dance.
"I really can't.....oh, fine. We want to hire you as a dancer."
"WHAT?!? You want to.....uuuughhhh." And I fainted.
The next feeling I had was coldness on my face. I opened my eyes to see Kevin wiping my face with a cold cloth. "What happened?"
"You fainted about five minutes ago. You think you can get up?"
"Yeah. I can't remember....oh yes I can. What is this about my being one of your dancers?"
"Well, I was really impressed by your dancing at the recital yesterday. And today after rehearsal, one of our dancers announced that he was going to quit. So, when we were in the dressing room, I suggested hiring you. All the others thought it was a good idea."
"So that's what you told them instead?" He nodded. "Kevin, I really do care about you. And nothing would please me more than to be with you on your tours and everything...."
"I hear a 'but' coming on."
"BUT, I just can't leave my life here. I still have college, and I have friends and family here. I just don't know. You'll have to give me time to think about it."
"I understand. Hey, we should go eat. I'm famished."
We ended up in an Italian restaurant a few miles down the road. After being seated, Kevin excused himself to the restroom. As he walked by one table, a group of girls just looked at him and started to quietly freak out. He came back and sat facing away from the girls' table. I saw the girls urging a small, blond girl who looked to be in her late teens to approach Kevin. She got up, and I quickly thought up a plan. When I was sure she was in hearing distance, I said to Kevin, "Exactly how much work do you get as a Kevin Richardson look-alike? I mean, does it really pay the bills?"
He looked at me strangely, then saw the girl standing next to our table. Then he understood. "Not a lot. No, I do medical transcriptioning at my house. The look-alike thing is just something fun. Oh, miss, I'll have a Coke."
She said, "Oh, no, I don't work here. I was just...passing by." She returned to her friends, who listened intently when she spoke to them, then looked let down.
Kevin whispered, "Thank you so much. I really would have hated a scene in here."
"No, prblem, I would have hated it too. Especially when some young girl tries to steal my man." We both smiled.
We ate, then decided to return to the house so Kevin could rest. Before we got to the house, I turned off the side of the road. "So, earlier, you had other plans for our time together?" I said as I squeezed his thigh the same way he did mine. He smiled, then pulled me in for a kiss. This was the most passionate kiss yet. He pulled us closer. His tongue danced in my mouth, and I was in ecstasy. His hands roamed my back, then moved down to my butt. I decided to stop things, so I broke the kiss.
As I moved back into my seat I said, "Kevin, what are you doing? We're here, by the road. A car could just drive by at any moment." Then I looked at him. He was looking out the front windshield with the most terrifying look I have ever seen. He looked like we were going to be hit. I looked out of the windshield too, and I bet I made the same expression.
There, parked right in front of us, was the van, with AJ and Howie staring right at us.
AJ got out of the van, walked up to my car, and opened the passenger door. "Kevin, would you like to join Howie and me? I think we need to talk." Kevin just looked at me and stepped out of the car.
I was frantic. I didn't know what to do, so I just took off. I didn't go back to my house, I just drove. I ended up at Shannon's house. I was crying when she opened the door. "What the heck is wrong with you?"
I just ran into her house and collapsed on the floor. "There's something I have to tell you. I didn't tell you earlier on the phone, but me and Kevin...." I was cut off by her scream.
"You mean you two?" I nodded. "Well, isn't that your dream come true? Why are you crying?"
"AJ and Howie just caught us."
"Oh. I'm sorry. What are you going to do?"
"I don't know. I can't go back to the house. I'm sure they're having a group meeting about this by now. I don't know what to do!"
She sat on the floor next to me and embraced me. "Hush, now. I'm sure it'll be alright. I'm sure it'll be alright."
Back at my house, Howie, AJ, and Kevin sat around the table. "So, Kevin, I guess that we know now...." AJ really didn't know what to say, but he said something.
"Yeah, I guess you do." Kevin started to cry. "I was going to tell you all, but I just couldn't, I just couldn't."
"Hey, man, it's alright with me." Howie said.
"Really? You're not upset or mad at me?"
"No. Nothing could make me mad at you."
"Well, I'm a little upset that you kept it from us." AJ stated.
"AJ! How could you of all people say something like that?!? I mean, since we know about Kevin, I think he should know about us!" Howie threw it in AJ's face. AJ got a maddened expression on his face.
Kevin asked, "Wait, you two? Oh, my gosh, I never thought. All this time?"
AJ volunteered the answer. "No, not all this time, but for a few months now. Howie and I have been friends since before the Backsteet Boys. And one day, it just went beyond friendship."
"So I guess you two are fine with it. I still don't know about Brian and Nick. How am I going to tell them?"
Howie corrected him, "How are we all going to tell them?"
As if on cue, Nick came bounding into the kitchen. "Oh, yeah! Hey, Brian, why don't you tell them all who the King of Pool is?"
Brian rolled his eyes and said, "You are, Nick. The King of Pool." Brian walked to the refrigerator to get some root beer. "You guys want anything?"
"Gimmee a Coke, servant" Nick replied.
"Could you just get me some water? I just need some water" Kevin asked.
Brian recognized the tone in Kevin's voice. "Uh oh. Cuz, what's wrong?"
"I just...have some things on my mind. I think I have to get something off my chest." With this, Kevin glanced at Howie, who slightly nodded. He then looked at AJ, who scowled and lowered his hat.
"Well, whatever it is, make it quick. I'm expecting a rematch with Mr.Ego Nick here."
"I think you'd better sit down for this one. Both of you." They obliged and sat down at the table.
"Well, I think I'd better start at the beginning. See, yesterday, I was in my room. I was feeling down. Neil happened by and saw that I was upset. He asked why, and I told him. I told him the truth, which I think might hurt you all. I told him that I felt so very alone, even around you guys, because you guys pair off and I'm left, alone."
Everyone gave him a hurt look. "I never realized...Kevin, I'm so sorry" Brian said.
"I don't think any of us really saw it. Kevin, you could've just asked to do stuff with us. I hope we're more of a family than that." Nick tried to cheer him up. AJ and Howie kept quiet, knowing that there was more to be told.
Kevin continued. "That's not the whole story. After I said that, Neil told me a story about how he too felt alone in high school, even though he was popular. He just didn't have any trustworthy friends. He made me see that I have that in you guys." More tears. "He made me see that I hold in a lot of stuff, especially feelings. I feel like I have to be the responsible one, not because I'm the oldest, but because it keeps me from feeling what I feel. I admitted to him what I'm about to admit to you all." He froze and gulped. His hands started to shake, and his face turned red.
Brian asked, "Kevin, are you alright? You're starting to scare me."
"Yeah, I'm....fine. It's just that.....I.....I'm gay." Kevin broke down. He quickly got up from the table, ran into his room, and locked the door.
Brian was shocked. He was Kevin's cousin; he had known him since they were kids. This couldn't be. Nick reacted differently. As soon as Kevin admitted it, Nick yelled, "WHAT?!?" After Kevin ran off, Nick still was very angry. "What the...? How does he...? Why....?" Nick didn't know what to say. "Why are you two so calm?" he asked AJ and Howie.
Howie answered. "Well, there's more to the story. See, just a while ago, AJ and I....caught Kevin. I really don't want to get into any more detail than that." He was saving me. "After Kevin admitted to us that he was gay...." He stopped and looked at AJ, who gave a look suggesting that he couldn't stop Howie's story now. "...I admitted to him that AJ and I have been seeing each other."
"WHAT?!?" Nick repeated. He put his hand over his forhead, got up from the table, and just paced around quickly. "Oh my...AAAHHH!!! Why is this coming out now? And how long? And how long have you knew? And why didn't you...? Ugh!"
AJ got a little upset at Nick's reaction. "Hey, Nick, sit down now! I'll tell you why this is coming out now. It's because we didn't want Kevin to be alone, AGAIN. But we've failed in that. Howie and I have been seeing each other for a few months. And we're not really gay, I don't even think I would consider myself bisexual. It's just that Howie is the only guy..."
"Alright, that's ENOUGH!" Brian interrupted. "I don't know what is going on here, but I know that I have to go see how Kevin is. As soon as I take care of that situation, I'll concentrate on this one." He got up and walked towards Kevin's room. "Kevin, open the door. It's Brian. Come on, Kevin." He turned the door knob; it wasn't locked. He walked in, but the only thing he saw was an open window.
Back at Shannon's house, I had recomposed. "I have to go see how things are going. And how everybody is."
"Do you want me to come with you?" Shannon asked. I shook my head and left. I started the drive to my house. Not a mile from the house, I saw Kevin walking by the road. When he saw my car, he ran towards it. I stopped and opened the door for him. He was crying heavily. "I can't go back. I just can't go back. Don't take me there. Let's go somewhere else."
"Alright, alright. We'll go to Andy's apartment."
Upon arrival, he started to tell me the story. About how he had to admit his homosexuality to Howie and AJ. Then how Howie told him that he and AJ were dating, but AJ wanted to keep it secret. Then he told about admitting it to Brian and Nick, and Nick's reaction. I hugged him close and kissed his head. I wiped his tears with my hands. Then I moved him to look in his eyes.
"You know, we can't just hide here forever. You have another rehearsal in just half and hour. And the show tonight."
"I forgot! Darn it! I don't know if I can face Brian and Nick. I don't even know if we're still a group...."
"I'm sure you are. Come on, you better be ready for this. I'm taking you back. I've waited years for a Backstreet Boys concert, and I'll be danged if I'm going to miss it." He saw that I was trying to cheer him up and made a little smile.
"You're the best. How did I ever find you?"
"I know. And I found you, thanks to some stupid hotel." I stood him up from the couch, hugged him, then kissed him quickly on the lips. "Now, come on."
Brian sat in the living room, crying. "Why didn't I get to him sooner? Why didn't I act better? Where could he be? What's going to happen now?" He kept sobbing. Howie sat next to him and starting rubbing his back.
Howie said, "I'm sure he'll be back soon. We have a rehearsal, and Mr.Responsible wouldn't miss it." Nick was sitting in a chair in the corner of the room, just staring blankly into space. AJ had went up to the patio. But now he came running down. "Hey, Neil just drove up, and Kevin's with him." Brian immediately stood up and went to the front door. As Kevin opened the door, Brian hugged him. "I'm so sorry. So sorry...."
"I know, Brian, I know. But can we forget this just for a little while? We have a rehearsal." Howie and Brian laughed. "What did I say?"
"Oh, nothing, Kev." Howie replied. Then I walked into the room, but I didn't say anything. I just wanted them to talk to me if they wanted to. Nick came out of his trance.
"Howie, earlier you said you 'caught' Kevin. And I bet I know exactly who he was with." He got up out of the chair and walked right over to me. "YOU did this, didn't you? YOU CAUSED ALL THIS PAIN!" He pointed his finger right in my face. "COME ON, ADMIT IT. IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!"
I went stark mad and slapped his finger away from my face. "HOW DARE YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT! I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE NICK CARTER, I WOULDN'T CARE IF YOU WERE PRESIDENT CARTER! YOU DON'T COME INTO MY HOUSE AND TALK TO ME LIKE THAT! AND WHAT 'ALL THIS PAIN'? YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO'S HURTING HERE. YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY FOR KEVIN. INSTEAD, YOU'RE BEING A LITTLE PISS-ASS AND MAKING THE SITUATION EVEN WORSE!"
Nick drew back like he was going to hit me, but he knew better. Instead, he turned to Kevin. "Is that why you wanted to hire him, so you could have your tricks on the road?!"
This really angered Kevin. He walked over to Nick and pushed him against the wall. He held him there with one hand over Nick's neck. "I WILL NOT HAVE YOU TALK TO OR ABOUT NEIL LIKE THAT! I FEEL LIKE GIVING YOU TWO BLACK EYES AND A BLOODY NOSE. BUT YOU SHOULD THANK HEAVEN ABOVE THAT WE HAVE A SHOW. OTHERWISE, YOU WOULD BE IN SO MUCH PAIN YOU WOULD WISH YOU WERE DEAD, YOU LITTLE SHIT!" Nick had a terrified look on his face; he was obviously very afraid of Kevin. "GET THE HELL OUT OF MY SIGHT!!!" Kevin released Nick, and Nick ran outside. Kevin stormed off into his room.
"Holy shit. I've never seen Kevin mad." AJ said.
Brian said, "I've never heard him be that loud."
"Nick's right. It is all my fault." With that, I ran to my room. I don't know how much time passed before Kevin knocked on my door. "Neil, are you alright?"
"Yes, just go to rehearsal. You can take my car if you don't want to ride with Nick."
"Ok, thanks. Are you sure you're going to be alright?"
"Yeah." Moments later, I heard the van and my car drive off. I must have fallen asleep from exhaustion from all the day's events. When I woke up, I realized that their rehearsal would be over soon. I set my CD player on Track 3 and 'Repeat.' "Show Me The Meaning" was one of my favorite, and most personal, songs. As it played over and over, I just thought about how everything was going to go. I guess I was too deep in thought, because the next thing I knew, there was a knock on my door. "Come in."
It was Nick. When I saw him, I just turned myself around so I was looking away from the door. He said, "Neil....I'm really sorry about what I said earlier. I was just really surprised. I wasn't prepared for that kind of news. You have every right to be mad at me, but I hope we can put this behind us."
I sniffled. "I can only forgive you if you're genuinly happy for Kevin. He's been through a lot to hold this back. And to be able to admit it to you all."
"I am happy for him. For you both. I just didn't handle it right. Am I forgiven?"
"Well, I guess." I said in a joking manner. He laughed. I got up and walked out the door with him.
"Geez, I'm glad to see you two made up." AJ said. When Kevin saw us, he just came over and hugged us both. "Ah, what the heck? GROUP HUG!" AJ called. Everyone came over and hugged. I started to laugh, which made everyone else laugh. We broke the hug, and I had to wipe a tear from my eye.
"Kevin, could I see you in my room for a few minutes?" I asked after Brian and Nick went to have their rematch. "Sure." We both went into my room, where "Show Me The Meaning" was still playing. I locked the door.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I'll turn it off."
"No, don't bother. Why that song?"
"Well, it's kinda become my theme song."
Kevin looked confused. "Isn't that a bit...depressing?"
"No. Even though it was written as the loss of a love or a life, I look at it differently. I have my own interpretation of it. Like your part. 'Eyes of stone observe the trends. They never say, forever gaze.' That describes my life. I've never been in a relationship before, I just saw how other people did it. I've always liked to watch people. I got a feeling about how the human mind works and how emotions play. That's why I decided to go into psychology. So the song really isn't sad for me. But that's not why I asked you in here."
"Well, why did you ask me in here?" I didn't say anything, I just went over and kissed him. He parted his lips so my tongue could enter his mouth. I led him over to the bed, where I sat him down. We kissed more. He put his arms over my shoulders and started to rub my back. I started to unbutton his shirt. After I undid the last button, I laid him down, still kissing him. I grabbed his arms and put them up over his head. Then I started to kiss my way down his neck, then onto his chest. I got to one of his nipples, and I licked and sucked it. I felt his hands on the back of my head.
"No, no, no. Back up where they belong." I put his arms back over his head. Then I proceeded to suck and bite his other nipple. He moaned with pleasure. I unbuttoned his pants, then slowly slid the zipper down as I kissed and licked my way down his muscular stomach. He lifted his hips so I could pull his pants and his underwear down. He had a full 10-inch erection. I held the base of it, then I started to lick and suck his balls. Kevin moved his hips up and down. Then I moved to the shaft. I licked all the way up and swirled my tongue around the head. Then I slowly slid his cock into my mouth. I sucked for minutes before he said that he was going to cum. This made me do it more fiercly, as I concentrated on the head. Seconds later, I felt the warm fluid squirt into my mouth. I swallowed all of it, then I released his cock from my mouth.
"That was amazing." Kevin said.
"Well, I just thought you could use a little....inspiration for your show tonight."
To Be Continued....