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Tuck Flap and Seal
Copyright 1997 by Ellen Hayes.
No part of this work may be distributed as an original work by another person or group. Permission is given to redistribute this by electronic means, as long as the entirety of the work is distributed, and credit is given to the original author, me. Any resemblance between the writings in this work, and any actual persons or places, living or dead, are purely coincidental, except when used for satirical purposes.
All rights reserved.
Furthermore, This work contains adult situations, adult language, adult concepts, and possibly sex. If you are legally not allowed to read materials containing such things, then you will be breaking the law by reading this. I am not responsible. Continuing to read this document, or storing it or reproducing it in any format means that you explicitly affirm that you are legally allowed to possess and read such materials in your city, county/parish, state, and country.
Tuck Flap and Seal
*** 12:26 2 Nov
I paused in doing my weekend chores as I thought of something really horrible. Then I shut off the water and ran to the phone.
"Hello?"
"Debbie?"
"Hey Tuck, whatsup?"
"I just thought of something horrible. Bobby McPhearson is in jail or something, right? So I'm safe now. But what about when he comes back?"
"No problem. I got it all worked out already." She sounded smug.
"How?"
"You know Ivan the Terrible?"
"Yeah, so?" Ivan was this real nice skinny guy from someplace like Idaho or Oregon or something. Real quiet, looked really meek and an easy target. He was also one step below a black belt in something I could never remember, and had studied a couple of other things like aikido. And, since he was so nice and calm and quiet, anytime he got into a fight, it was sort of tacitly assumed that he hadn't started it, even by the teachers. He never lost, either.
"Well, guess what Ivan did for Halloween?" she chuckled.
"What does that have to do-"
"Same thing you did, exactly. I've already been spreading tales about how he got Bobby in serious trouble with the cops in the mall, and Ivan's going to deny it but then he always does when someone gets pulped," which was also true. He said he hated bragging. "So," she continued, "whenever Bobby gets back he's gonna think it was Ivan that did it to him, and either he'll be smart and forget it, or..."
"And he's not that smart." I snorted. "Oh, boy, thanks a million, Deb. I never woulda thought about that..." I thought of something else, though. "Oh, shit, what about the judging that afternoon?"
"Relax, he was already suspended and went home before the judging. And if you're wondering about Ivan, he did almost exactly the same thing you did. Just not as well. So even the people that saw you won't be able to convince him any different. Blonde biker chicks kinda sound alike if you try and describe 'em, you know?"
"Oh," I sighed, "my God... I might live through this. How do you know all this stuff?"
"I have my ways," she said smugly. "But this is why you keep me around, right? Look, I gotta go, so later, huh? Kisskiss," and she hung up.
I couldn't help chuckling to myself as I went back to the dishes.
*** 07:52 4 Nov
As I collected my books, Mike came up to me. "Hey, what, no costume this morning?"
I slammed my locker shut and just glared at him. And showed him the red marks from the wig. "No," I added flatly.
"You still got those?" he asked unnecessarily.
"And everything else. I'm scared to let my mom see me."
"Hey, don't you have PE today?"
We walked off to homeroom. "Tomorrow," I replied. "I'm not looking forward to it, either. At least I got out of it on Thursday."
"How?" he asked. Neither of us really enjoyed PE. Something to do with brains versus brawn, we said. Wimps, the Jocks said.
I looked at him, and grinned. "Something about my costume bothered coach a lot, and he told me to take the day off and go somewhere else. Anywhere else." We laughed at that.
"That was a pretty scary costume," he said as we went in. "More for the implications than for, you know, the costume itself. You were almost too good."
"Well," I replied as we sat down, "Debbie said that the main problem with guys doing that is that they overplay it, so it looks like a drag queen. Or they don't do anything, and look like guys in dresses. She just had me do a couple of things, and not go crazy on the rest, and it added up to someone almost normal. Normal for someone dressed like that, anyway."
He shook his head. "Maybe you should go out for drama," he suggested.
I shrugged, but just then, Dan-the-Man came in, looking like he had a tale to tell. "Hey, did you guys hear about Ivan the Terrible and Bob McFear?" he asked, all excited.
Mike and I looked at each other. He was grinning, as if Debbie had talked to him. So was I when I turned back and replied, "No, what happened?"
*** 11:32 4 Nov
I ran up to Debbie as she was getting her lunch, and when she looked at me, I dropped to the floor and started kowtowing.
"Oh great memsahib," I intoned as I went up and down, "you haved saved your unworthy servant from a doom too unspeakable to describe. Your unworthy servant is now yours to command, oh wondrous vision of light." When I came up after I finished, she was grinning, and blushing.
"Uh, thanks," she giggled. "Wanna have lunch?"
"Love to, I'm starved." I got up off the floor, and offered her my arm. She took it.
Ah, this is gonna be a good day, I thought.
*** 11:48 4 Nov
"So what happened then?" Kathy asked excitedly.
I covered my face with my hands as Debbie told the Pack how Travis had kissed me after the slow dance. They all squealed. Faces turned our way, but nobody was close enough to hear the discussion. Thank God.
"So was he a good kisser?" Jill asked me.
*** 15:04 4 Nov
Debbie offered me a ride home, which I was glad to have. I was getting my homework stuff when Julia came up to us.
"Hi, Tuck," she said casually. "You know, I heard the strangest rumor about Ivan Singley and Bobby McPhearson..."
"It's true," said Debbie flatly. The two stared at each other for a long moment. Julia looked kind of cooly inquisitive, while Debbie looked like she was ready for anything.
Finally, Julia nodded, and said, "Ah, I see. I must've made a mistake or something. Well, sorry you made second place, then," she said to me. "Good day!" She gave a very florid bow, and walked off. Smiling, like she knew a secret she wasn't going to tell.
"Drama people," said Debbie, like that explained it all.
*** 12:26 5 Nov
"Geez, I hate gym class," I muttered under my breath as I went into the locker room.
I guess I was the only one, because the rest of the class looked like they couldn't wait to get in and get sweaty. Ugh.
I started pulling stuff off, steeling myself against the pain I still felt whenever something moved across my ribs. "Ahhh," I moaned as I gently rubbed the rip marks.
When I opened my eyes again, everyone close to me was staring at me. "What the hell happened to you, leprosy?" asked Derek.
I grinned as the proper answer came to my mind, and said dazedly, "Oh, Debbie and I had some fun this weekend." Then I hissed as I scraped my arm against my side somehow.
"Don't ever let her tie you up unless you're sure you can take it," I added facetiously as I gently slid the T shirt over my head and eased it over my upper torso.
"Oh, right, you dork," Ed protested from across the way. "That's from that corset you were wearing Thursday."
I couldn't pass up a straight line like that. Something like that, it was like a gift from God. "Oh," I drawled loudly, "So you know a lot about what a corset does to a guy, huh? You must wear one a lot."
His, "Fuck you, man," was drowned out by the hoots of the rest of the listeners. I felt better about PE than I had in years.
*** 18:32 8 Nov
"So," asked Debbie, "how's things going on the transmitter?" She stole a couple of onion rings while waiting for my answer. I had found out that stolen food had no calories, therefore she wasn't cheating on her diet when she took food off my plate. Go figure.
"Oh, pretty good, I guess," I said as I put mustard on my burger. "It's about legal max, and having one for each channel left and right ought to effectively double the broadcast power. I should be done by Monday. What do you want it for, anyway?"
"Ask not, for then you can't be implicated," she warned.
I made a mental note to wipe my fingerprints off before I gave it to her.
*** 19:52 8 Nov
"So, anyway," she said a bit too casually, "I had this idea for a job I could really use you for."
"Like what?" Not that I didn't trust her or anything. Hahaha.
*** 19:54 8 Nov
"It's a stupid idea, Debbie, and I won't do it, either!"
"Okay, thirty percent of gross." She looked desperate. "Please, Tuck, it's not that unreasonable..."
I wanted to pull my hair out. "Debbie, NO!"
*** 14:21 10 Nov
"Debbie, they'd laugh themselves sick if you did that. If I did that." Somehow, she could smirk over the phone. She was doing it now. I hated that.
"No, they wouldn't. I did a little survey, not mentioning your name so don't worry," forestalling my next screaming fit, "and 82 percent thought it would be a cute idea and they'd like to see it."
My resistance was weakening. "And how much did you think you'd earn?"
"Oh, a couple of hundred a week, I think, that shouldn't be a problem."
"And I'd get thirty percent, right? And nobody mentions this, right?"
"Of course!" she said indignantly. "I wouldn't screw a business partner!"
She wouldn't screw me at all. Our sex life was a separate issue I didn't want to get into right now. Some days it's hell being a teenage nerd. Usually Monday through Sunday.
She giggled, and added, "Well, at least not out of money!" This was a new development. A very good new development.
I switched the phone to the other ear, and asked, "Oh? And what would you do to a business partner otherwise?"
*** 08:01 11 Nov
I was sitting in homeroom, chewing the fat with Mike, when the loudspeakers clicked on.
Instead of morning announcements, though, what came out was a scream that sounded like Wolfman Jack, and a voice that shouted confidently, "Goooooooooooood morning rockers! And welcome to the most fantastical station on the airwaves today, Kay Why Ess Ess, Your Silly School radio!" And then it segued right into the middle of AC/DC's "Back in Black."
Mr. Dobson flinched, like someone had wired his chair again, then stared up at the speaker like it was... well, like it was playing rock'n'roll all of a sudden.
The rest of the class stared at it too, for maybe five seconds, then started to laugh. You could hear the other homerooms doing the same thing. Dobson just glared. I laughed so hard I almost fell out of my desk, but luckily I wasn't the only one.
At least, I laughed until I wondered what was going on, since I hadn't given Debbie the transmitter set I'd built yet.
*** 11:41 11 Nov
"Well, see, Lisa and I thought it would be way too obvious to have the same person who built and installed the equipment do it at their school, so we sort of switched. My team is gonna put your transmitter in her school next weekend. Also, none of the fingerprints will match anyone in school, if they think to check."
I was stunned. "And, but... who's doing the installing?"
Debbie cocked her head like a parrot and looked at me. "You don't really want to know that, do you?" she purred.
Curiosity warred with prudence, but for once survival took over. "I guess not. If it's not me." She patted me on the head.
"Good lad, good lad. You'll go far in life with that attitude."
"Yes, Dame Moriarty," I agreed, bowing. She snorted. "So how do you get people to do all this stuff?" I asked.
"Oh, if you give people an idea and some encouragement, a lot of times, then they'll respond to it. Especially if it appeals to something already inside them, like rebelling against authority. Show them a way to do it smart, too, and..." she spread her hands, then waved them in a magician's flourish. "Voila!" She took another bite of her salad, then remarked, "Oh, by the way, we need to go somewhere public Saturday night, so me and Lisa can have an alibi. Movie night at the mall, perhaps?"
"I'll, uh, I'll see what I can do." A thought struck me. "Uh, Lisa's not bringing her boyfriend, is she?"
"Why not?" Debbie asked.
"Uh, Halloween, that's why." I hoped I didn't have to explain any further.
She giggled. "Oh, don't worry about that. He won't say anything. Just like you wouldn't say anything if something similar happened to him. A conspiracy of silence, is what you two are," she intoned, pointing her fork at me.
"Besides," she added, "Lisa's got him under control, at least as regards to his tongue." She laughed at that. I stuck mine out and wiggled it at her. "Oooh, you stop that, you naughty child!" she giggled. "Otherwise we might have to go discuss something outside."
"Oh please oh please," I begged.
*** 08:01 12 Nov
They had a couple of jokes over the loudspeakers, and the music this morning was Nine Inch Nails doing "Pretty Hate Machine." I was liking this more and more.
*** 11:53 12 Nov
"Oh, come on, Tuck, I could really use you this week. I already have a group lined up. It'll be fun. It'll be an experience!"
I gave her a look. "Oh, like I need any more of those for a while. My bruises still haven't healed since the last 'experience' of yours."
"Ours," she firmly insisted, not paying attention to the rest of my objections. She switched to pleading. "Tuck, please, I really need a gimmick to get people into the sales parties, or it's gonna be a wasted investment..." The last came out like it was almost too horrible to mention.
I sighed. "Where is it, anyway?"
"Oh, it's no problem," she said, brightening up, "I can take you, and we should be back by six no problem."
"That's not what I asked, Debbie..." Not like I was suspicious or anything. Haha.
*** 08:01 13 Nov
This morning, KYSS ("Your Silly School Radio!") had a couple of clips from old Johnny Carson monologues, and they played "Safety Dance" from long ago. Mr. Dobson simply suffered through it, like he was being tortured. I suppose a little fun was too painful for him to stand any more, at his advanced age. Or maybe they surgically removed your humor when you got into the teaching profession.
*** 12:02 13 Nov
"Okay, okay... It's Thursday night, right, Debbie?"
"Yes... Oh, Tuck, this is great!" she gushed, giving me a big hug and a small kiss. "You don't know how much this means to me..."
"Well, maybe you can show me?" I asked hopefully.
She held me at arm's length, and her voice took on this sultry tone guaranteed to get the attention of any male under thirty. "Like, show you my appreciation? Maybe I could..."
I tried for another kiss and got one, this one long, and slow, and sweet. Hot damn! I thought happily, glad that the baggy pants I was wearing hid the erection that was erecting right that moment.
*** 08:04 14 Nov
They were a little late this morning, but finally the loudspeakers blared out with some Frank Zappa.
"Hey, some culture music!" called Mike. Dobson glared at him.
*** 10:41 14 Nov
"You know, hanging with Debbie can be dangerous to your health?" Mike whispered to me. This was after he'd gotten done laughing himself sick. This after I told him what Debbie's latest idea was.
I nodded. This I knew already. I was starting to get nervous about this afternoon. Why won't she tell me where it is? I fretted.
*** 15:24 14 Nov
We had to park in some godforsaken spot on the university campus and walk, because there wasn't any parking near where we needed to be. Wherever that was. It wasn't a small university.
"Hey, I'm not gonna have to walk out of here wearing all that crap, right? I mean, I can clean up before we have to go all this way, right?"
"Sure, Tuck," she said reassuringly. "No problem."
"No problem. Right." At least she was carrying half the supplies. This stuff was heavy. "Huff."
*** 15:38 14 Nov
I could finally see the building we were aiming at. At least it didn't look big enough to hold an auditorium.
As we got closer, I thought it looked kind of... strange, at least for a classroom. And there were a lot of people going in and out. Mostly girls. I sighed.
When we got to the door (using the handicapped door - this stuff was just too heavy) and went in, I began to get an idea of what kind of place this was. It looked a lot like a cheap motel lobby.
Or my sister's dorm, sort of...
"Debbie, what the hell did you get me into?" I whispered frantically.
"Shut up and look natural, we gotta go and set up upstairs," she ordered. She marched us right up to a desk with some old watchful bat, showing them some kind of paper and talking to her. I smiled sickly and didn't say anything. When she started to move again, I followed her as close as I dared.
They had an elevator, at least.
*** 15:42 14 Nov
"This is a girl's dorm, isn't it?" I whispered frantically into her ear.
She gave me a look. "Well, duh, did you think we'd be going to a guy's dorm to do makeovers?" she whispered back.
When the elevator wheezed its way up to the floor she wanted, she pulled me off and down a hall. I wanted so bad to look, but I was having flashbacks of the time I'd been tossed into the girl's bathroom in junior high. They'd broken my nose and almost cracked two ribs, among other lesser injuries, and I was the one that got detention. The floor was nice and safe, I decided quickly, so I stared at it.
"Are you okay?" Debbie asked. "You sound like you're about to freak out here or something."
"Ah, ah, you're sure nobody's gonna get mad if I'm here, right?"
"Sure I'm sure. No problem," she said confidently.
"Ah, no problem," I panted. "No problem." A couple of co-eds passed me with strange looks.
We turned into this room, where there were already five or six girls waiting. I guess they were waiting for us, because they turned and got up as we came in. I had to go back and look at something, though, so I put my case down on a table that someone indicated, and walked back to look at the sign on the door.
It was an ad for the makeover and sales session, with Debbie's name and some other stuff on it, but the thing that had caught my eye was the "Before" and "After" photos she had put in the ad. Before was Keanu Reaves; after was the girl that did Kelly Bundy. Christina Applegate, I remembered after some thought.
"Who's the kid?" one of the girls behind me asked, and I turned back to face them. At least neither of the pictures were me.
*** 16:01 14 Nov
"Good afternoon," said Debbie in a very professional sounding voice, "and thank you for coming!"
"Now," she continued, walking around a little, "I know that Mary Kay is sort of a big joke to everybody, but they really do produce some superior products, in my opinion. And I brought my boyfriend here to prove it!" She flourished a hand at me, and I smiled.
I didn't know whether everyone laughing was a good thing or a bad thing. Debbie patted me on the head, though, and winked before she went on with the pitch.
*** 16:42 14 Nov
The powder was too much.
"Ah ah ah ah!" I warned, reaching for the tissues on the table. I managed to grab one and duck and cover just before I exploded, "AhhhHChutz!" Then I sneezed again.
Debbie waited until it looked like I was done, then ad-libbed, "Now, of course, all the products are hypo-allergenic, but powder up the nose is a special case..." The girls laughed.
The audience had about doubled since we started, and nobody was looking like they wanted to beat me up or anything like that. I started to think that maybe I'd live through this.
*** 16:54 14 Nov
"Well, that's it! Stand up," she ordered me, and whisked the barber's sheet off. "There you have it, ladies," she added.
Somebody wolf-whistled, and that cracked everyone up. Except me.
"That your boyfriend or your sister?" someone called from the back, to more laughs.
"Oh, he's definitely my boyfriend..." replied Debbie slyly. Then she grabbed me around the neck and gave me a long, slow, lip lock. Now, this I could get into, and I did, dipping her a little bit. The noise about doubled behind me, but all I was looking at was Debbie. At least until my eyes closed. Ah, bliss....
She winked at me when I finally opened my eyes again, and nodded slightly, so I pulled her back up and let go.
"Hooo," she breathed, then said in a challenging tone, "now, would I kiss my sister like that?"
"Now," she went on after she'd gotten control of the room back, "if any of you know for sure what you want, colors and such, talk to my boyfriend here. Otherwise, I can do two personal consultations tonight and schedule the rest of you for up to two weeks from now. Step right over here," she said, grabbing a clipboard and handing it to me, "if you're absolutely positively sure you know what colors and styles to order. To make an appointment for a personal consultation, come over here, and the first two that volunteer to have it done in public can get theirs tonight."
A couple of girls came over to me as I sat down before I toppled over. The first one looked real close at me, and then said, in a friendly voice, "You know, you really are pretty like that."
"Uh, thanks, I think," I said with a weak grin. She ruffled my hair.
"So, demo boy, you ready?"
"Ahhhh...." I began rooting through the case. It would have been nice if Debbie had explained the damned stuff before she handed me this job just now. That's Debbie, though - life at the Improv.
*** 17:25 14 Nov
"So, what do you think, hon?" Debbie asked me as she pulled the sheet off the first girl.
"Ah... no offense, but definitely an improvement," I said to both of them. Debbie held up a mirror, and the girl looked at herself.
And looked at herself. And moved the mirror and her head around so she could see it from all angles.
Finally, she nodded, sort of grudgingly. "Yeah, I think it looks better. More..."
"Modern?" I suggested, and she nodded.
"Excellent!" enthused Debbie. "Everyone should look the best they possibly can. So. That'll be the whole package, right?"
"How much?" asked the girl. Debbie punched some keys on her calculator, and quoted a figure. I whistled, and the girl looked a little sick. "How much?!"
"Well, that's for everything," Debbie explained. "Now, if you're on a budget... how much can you afford to spend right now, anyway?" The girl told her.
Debbie was slick.
*** 18:12 14 Nov
"Okay, so we're a little late..." Debbie apologized as we packed up. "Still, look at what we made today!" She gave me a hug.
I was pretty amazed. I mean, I knew Debbie was this sales whiz, ever since I met her, but this was unbelievable. Of course, me sitting there in makeup was pretty damned amazing, too. And nobody'd beaten me up, either. And that's not even considering the hundred and fifty or so we'd made. Pretty amazing day, all in all.
"Well, come on, and if you want, I'll treat you to dinner, hey?" she asked as I snapped the last case shut, and she stuffed everything into her attache case.
"Oh, that'd be... uhm." I'd just remembered something. "Ah, where can I wash this stuff off?"
She thought about it for a minute, then went out in the corridor without answering. I heard her ask someone if there was a men's room around, but I couldn't hear the answer.
When she came back in, she had this nice expression on her face which made me instantly suspicious for some reason.
"Ah, Tuck, they, ah, they don't have any men's rooms on this floor."
"Well, which floor do they have them on?"
"The first one."
I thought for a second. "Where we came in?" She nodded. "WHAT!?" She flinched. "You can't expect me to go down there like this!" I yelled, waving a hand at my face.
"Now, calm down, I had an idea..."
*** 18:15 14 Nov
"I still think my idea was better," she pouted as we rode the elevator down. She looked embarrassed for once.
"No, it wasn't," I replied, staring back at the girls who were staring at me. You'd think they'd never seen anyone with a bag over their head before. "I'm the one that has to go in there, remember?"
"Oh, God, you are such a prude," she complained. "Loosen up, have some fun in your life!"
"Get chased down like a rabid dog, die horribly, shame my family," I added. The door opened, and we staggered out with all the stuff.
"Oh, come on, when have I ever led you wrong before?" she asked.
"You want the summary or the detailed report?" I shot back.
*** 18:18 14 Nov
I took the bag off my head. It was remarkably hot with it on.
The face looking back at me from the mirror was a lot like I'd seen a couple of weeks ago. "Jeez," I muttered.
As I was lathering up, a college-age guy came in. Oh, God, I thought, embarrassed. I decided to tough it out, though. Like I had a choice. Haha. He took one look at me, mumbled something, and whipped around and went right back out. Well, I thought, sort of amazed, that was easy...
I was almost finished spreading the stuff Debbie gave me on my face when he opened the door and peeked back in. Then he opened the door all the way, and came in.
"Ah, hey," he said nervously, "uh, this is the, uh, guy's room?"
"Are you asking me?"
"Ah." That confused him, I guess. I wet the washcloth and started wiping the goo off. There's a lot of goop involved in being a girl nowadays, I guess.
"No," he finally said, "this is the guy's room. Restroom," he added.
"Yah," I said, wiping my face and washing the cloth out every few seconds. At least they have hot water, I thought. "So?"
"So, uh..." He seemed really confused. I rinsed the cloth out as well as I could, and began scrubbing it over my face to get the last traces off.
"So what's your point?"
He gaped at me, then threw up his hands and snarled, "Hellifino," and went into a stall.
The eye makeup was not coming off, until I remembered the special remover wipes I was suppose to use. That wiped it all right off, but now my eyes felt oily. I scrubbed at them for a while with the soap, which got rid of the oil. God, this takes forever, I thought to myself.
The guy flushed and came out of the stall, still snarling. He gave me one last dirty look before he left. "Asshole," I said softly as the door closed. "Wonder what his problem was."
*** 18:24 14 Nov
"What did you say to that guy in there?" Debbie asked me.
"Nothing much," I replied. "He seemed to be having a problem or something." I panted. "Kept telling me it was the guy's room. Like I didn't know that."
Debbie stopped and put everything down, and started to laugh. I stopped and dropped my load too.
"What's so funny?" I wanted to know.
All she could do was point at me and laugh. "Great," I muttered. "Just what I need, my own girlfriend pointing at me and laughing her ass off."
"Ah, ah, ah, Tuck," she managed to get out before another burst. "It's, ah, did you look at yourself in the mirror before you took the makeup off?" I nodded. "Well, you looked like you did Friday morning after Halloween, ah." She took a couple of deep breaths. "Except maybe a little better in the face. He probably thought you were, uh..."
"Oh, great," I moaned, wincing. Debbie burst out laughing again.
"Try, try and imagine how he felt, ahah," she eventually stammered out.
After a minute or so, it started to look a little funny. Debbie made it funnier, just watching her. So I started to laugh too.
*** 18:51 14 Nov
"So where do you want to do dinner?" she asked.
"Ah," I waved my hand at the road. "Anywhere the little lady desires. Since she's paying, 'cause I have no cash."
"You have your thirty percent, ya know," she mentioned.
"You'd make me pay for dinner after all that, what I did for you back there? Besides, you made seventy percent. And it's mostly in checks anyway."
"Well, I was working, all you did was sit there."
"And get humiliated and take about eighty bucks in orders myself."
She sighed. "I already said I'd get it, you just don't have to be a complete asshole about things. How about... chinese?" she asked, changing the subject.
"Sounds good," I agreed. "Oh, I gotta call my mom to tell her I'm not gonna make it for dinner tonight. Don't let me forget, eh?"
*** 23:19 14 Nov
Oh, God, I thought, How'm I gonna do this and school at the same time? The homework was not getting any easier as the night went on.
*** 08:02 15 Nov
KYSS played some Blues Traveller, which I think was a thank-you from Debbie for the night before. At least, that was how I was going to take it.
It's gonna be a good day, I thought to myself.
*** 11:19 15 Nov
"That's it?!" I almost shouted in amazement, staring at the few small bills Debbie had given me. A little over fifteen dollars.
"Hey, I haven't done any of the other consultations yet!" she explained. "That's where the money comes in, when you get them alone and they pay and pay and pay..."
"But, but..."
"That's your percent after the expenses yesterday. And not counting dinner, either," she added sourly. "You'll have to wait for the rest until I get the rest, when I do the real sales work the next couple of weeks, and until some of the checks clear."
"Oh, jeez, I was thinking it'd be more than this..."
"Sorry," she shrugged. "It takes a while for things to start up." She turned away from me and slammed her locker door.
I sighed, then realized I'd done a very dumb thing, yelling at her. So I gave her a hug, and whispered into her ear, "Thanks, Debbie, I know. I just was thinking somehow it'd be more. You know. Expectations." She nodded, still kind of stiff.
When I pulled loose, I bent to my pack, saying, "One of the reasons I really wanted more cash is because I'd spent so much on these..." and stood up, holding a half dozen Toblerone chocolate bars.
She gasped, then hugged me again, smiling this time. "Oh, Tuck, thank you! You remembered!" I had; I'd remembered and bought some a while ago in case I needed a quick apology, and after last night I felt this would be a good time.
"I've been saving them for a special occasion," my stupid mouth said, and stopped. I filled in with, "and, uh, I thought this sort of qualified. Since I couldn't get any champagne or anything like that."
"Tuck, you're so sweet!" she gushed, and kissed me on the cheek a couple of times, then on the ear. "Let's go have lunch so I can eat these, huh?"
"As m'lady wishes," I agreed. Sheeew, I thought, as I saw the smile on her face. Lucky I thought of those this morning.
*** 11:24 15 Nov
"You did what?!" asked Kathy, amazed. She was just the first off the mark with the question, though. The whole group was amazed.
Me, I thought I was going to die. I wished I was going to die, anyway.
"Oh, he was great! And a couple of them said that it really was impressive, when they signed up for consultations!" Debbie cackled and rubbed her hands together.
The rest of the pack just looked at me in amazement.
"The only problem is, he's taking thirty percent of gross," she mentioned.
"Thirty percent is nothing!" I protested. "Did you see that guy in the bathroom afterward! I'm gonna get that everywhere!"
"What guy?" Pam asked excitedly. "What bathroom?" queried Jill. I realized I'd made a serious mistake.
"Has anybody ever heard of the concept of 'proofreading' here?"
TS Tip #4: Act your age. Or look like an idiot. Your choice.
"Tallyho!" \ / @>--,--'-- ehayes@nym.alias.net + vicki .sig Ellen Hayes --=()=()=-- Renaissance Woman ==[-------- + virus 9.1a
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