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Tuck Blind -*- Copyright 1998 by Ellen Hayes.
Any resemblance between the writings in this work, and any actual persons or places, living or dead, are purely coincidental, except when used for satirical purposes.
This work contains adult situations, adult language, adult concepts, and possibly sex. If you are legally not allowed to read materials containing such things, then you will be breaking the law by reading this. I am not responsible. Continuing to read this document, or storing it or reproducing it in any format means that you explicitly affirm that you are legally allowed to possess and read such materials in your city, county/parish, state, and country.
All rights reserved. See the bottom for distribution rights.
Tuck Blind
*** 07:56 28 Apr
"So when is your dad gonna let you drive to school?" Mike asked as I slammed my locker shut.
"When hell freezes over, I think," I groused.
"You need to get a car."
"Duh! I just don't know how I can afford one."
Mike looked at me sideways as we started walking to class. "Maybe you should get a job this summer."
"Maybe I should." I punched him on the shoulder. "You think the FBI is hiring?"
"You? Ha! One look at you and they'd toss you in the pen. You look too much like a lawbreaking anarchist rebel."
"Me!" I complained. "What about you?"
He stopped and gave me an innocent look. "Me? I am merely a humble Asian high school student with excellent grades and a great desire to contribute to the United States, my country." He put a hand to his chest and started humming the national anthem.
*** 08:02 28 Apr
"What's with him?" George asked, pointing at Mike.
"I accidentally hit his patriot button, now he's being the perfect citizen." George looked at Mike like he was crazy, which he was. Mike was busy reciting the preamble to the Constitution. And bowing to no one in particular.
"At least we only have two more weeks of school left," Dan mentioned.
"Then finals," I added.
Everyone who heard that, including a lot of people who weren't supposed to be in the conversation, groaned.
*** 14:53 28 Apr
I was going to head to detention again, when I remembered that my two weeks was finally up. God, it had seemed like forever. At least I had been able to get my homework done, though - which meant that I could do more hacking at night, when I was home and didn't have teachers staring over my shoulder as I forged packets or whatever.
Which meant, now that I was free again, that I had to start doing homework at home again. Bleah.
*** 18:09 28 Apr
Mom came back from the kitchen, which held the kitchen phone.
"Who was it?" Dad asked. Brian and I, in complete accord for once, continued to stuff our faces.
"It was Trish," who was most likely her sister and my aunt. "She forgot the time difference again." Definitely Aunt Trish. She never could remember we were an hour later than she was.
"What was she calling about?" Dad asked. "Is everything okay?"
Mom seated herself at the table again. "Yessssss...." She looked at Dad. "She was calling about Amy...."
"Amy?" Dad and I both asked at the same time. I caught Dad staring at me out of the corner of my eye. "Is she-"
"She's alright... she was just wondering, if we still wanted to take Amy for the summer-"
"Oh Mom!" Brian instantly protested. She'd held a disklike for Brian ever since when he was four and threw a large clot of muck at her, when she was dressed up to go out somewhere fancy "with the grownups." She almost got away with making him eat what he'd thrown, too.
*** 18:47 28 Apr
"Eugene?" Mom asked. "Would you feel alright about Amy coming down for the summer?"
I thought about it, like I'd been thinking about it over dinner. When I wasn't throwing gasoline on the fires of Brian's discontent. "Yeah," I finally said. "She's okay, I mean I like her and everything... it'd be nice to have her around, sort of."
"Sort of?"
"Well, I mean..." Come to think of it, even though she was getting more into girl things now, I knew more than I had a year ago. And it had always been fun to talk to her. She was smarter than she looked. "No, it'd be a lot of fun," I told Mom. "I think Debbie'd like her, and we could go do stuff, you know, like hang out or whatever." Whatever it was we crazy teenagers did when parents weren't watching, I meant.
Although she wasn't really the sort to take along when, say, executing a mailbox as a warning to someone.
*** 20:09 28 Apr
The phone flashed, so I flicked it on. "'Lo?"
"Um, Val?" Debbie asked cautiously.
"What'sup, Deb?"
"Ahhh...." She sounded nervous. This was a bad sign. So was calling me Val. Oh, hell.
"What issss it, Debbie? What's going on?"
She took a deep breath, then began speaking rapidly. "Okay, I just wanted you to know before I say anything that this wasn't my idea, I didn't suggest it or anything like that, it's all her idea-"
"WHAT is all WHOSE idea?"
She took another breath. "Remember Mrs. Parker?"
"Yeah? Oh. Does she want me to babysit again?" I sighed silently. The idea of a car was on my mind, not to mention my own CD recorder, and things like that cost money. And Miz Parker paid quite well-
"Um. Sort of. But you don't have to if you don't want to," she shot out.
"Sort of. What?"
She said desperately, "Val, I don't know how to ask this!" This was the second time she called me "Val" in this conversation.
*** 20:12 28 Apr
I stared at the monitors as I tried to figure out what to do.
*** 20:14 28 Apr
"Hey?"
"Mike?"
"Yeah, whatsup? Having trouble on your history?"
"Uh, no."
"So whatsup, then."
I took a deep breath. "Debbie called me to ask me something..."
"Say no."
"What?"
"Say no," he repeated.
I protested, "You don't even know what it is!"
"Every time she asks you something, it turns out bad for you."
"That's not true, I mean when she asked me to do her taxes that went okay."
Pause.
"Who cares about her taxes?" Mike asked rhetorically. "What does she want, and I'll tell you why you should say no."
*** 11:28 29 Apr
Debbie came up to me as I was proceeding to the game. "Um, did you-"
"I'm still thinking about this, Debbie... this is so weird-"
She ran her fingers through her hair, looking desperate. "I know, I mean, I just said I would ask.... I mean, it's no big deal if you say no," she said quickly. "I can tell her no, or you're busy, or you've already got another job or something, it's no big deal-"
"Yeah, but how much?"
"Six bucks-" she started to answer reflexively, then stared at me in horror. "You're really thinking about taking it?" she gasped.
"It's a lot of money for not a whole lot of work, I mean, I sat for them already, and it wasn't that bad, and that's about what Kathy's making as cashier over there..."
"I'm not trying to push you into anything!" she wailed, sort of a non sequitur.
"I believe you," I told her. It was mostly true. She seemed to have reformed lately, anyway. "I just don't know. It's a lot of money, for just..." I thought about what COULD happen. "At least most of the time. And it doesn't involve deep fryers."
She was so worried, she didn't even smile at the joke.
*** 12:20 29 Apr
"I'm telling you, it's a bad idea," Mike insisted.
"I know, I know! It's just all that money," I moaned.
*** 16:48 29 Apr
I stared at the ceiling and thought about it. Boy, that would be a lot of money.... even after taxes.
But then I'd have to watch the kids all days long.
But two of them wasn't so bad.
But one of them was still in diapers.
But I could do whatever I wanted while I watched them.
But...
*** 19:11 29 Apr
"How much did you make stocking?" I asked Mike.
"A little over six an hour." For working like a dog the whole time he was there. Admittedly, it had made him into much better shape. On the other hand, it sure as hell had hurt the first few weeks, I remembered.
*** 20:09 29 Apr
"It's me," I said into the microphone.
"Oh, hi!" Debbie sounded much happier the second time. "How are you?"
"Oh, okay, I guess. Um." I took a deep breath.
*** 01:13 30 Apr
I went to the bathroom one last time, which was sort of fitting considering the shit I'd been wading through all night.
*** 07:56 30 Apr
"I'm telling you, you're making a mistake," Mike advised me as we walked to homeroom.
I sighed. "Probably."
"So why are you doing it?"
I gave him a look. "The root of all evil, Mike."
*** 11:42 30 Apr
"Oh, wait, that reminds me," Kathy said. "Tuck you're sitting this summer, right?"
"Uh, yeah, why? Does everyone know about it already?"
She made a face at me. "Tuck, you need to take some safety classes and stuff if you're going to work more than once or twice."
"Oh, great," I said nastily. "Why didn't anyone mention this before? And how the hell am I gonna get into some kind of class on this short notice?"
The corner of Kathy's mouth turned up. "Well, Tuck," she drawled, "seeing as how I'm teaching most of them, I think I can fit you in."
I finally managed to say, "Oh." Which was better than standing there with my mouth open.
*** 11:34 1 May
Ding! went the play bell. "Okay," Mike started without waiting, "so there you are, in front of the Lord Chancellor. He doesn't look pleased."
"I bet he doesn't," Kim commented to me quietly.
I leaned over and whispered back, "I told you robbing the treasury was a bad idea."
"Can I try my seduction skill on him?" Kathy asked.
Everyone, including Mike, just stared at her in shock.
She protested, "It was just an idea!"
*** 14:52 1 May
"I'm kind of busy tomorrow night," Debbie sighed. "More catering. I don't know how she keeps getting all this business."
"But you get some of it, right?"
"Yeah." She sighed again, and leaned against her car. "I just wish, sometimes, I didn't have to work so hard."
"Me too."
She gave me a hug, or I gave her one.
*** 16:19 1 May
"I dunno, I mean, I think Kim and I were going out," Mike said as he jumped on his bed.
"So you and her are back together?"
He nodded. "I guess the phone thing was the only thing keeping us apart."
"That's a stupid thing, Mike."
"Shut up, Tuck." He sighed. "Besides, it's fixed now."
"Thanks to me," I reminded him.
"Shut up, Tuck."
*** 20:32 1 May
"Oh, hhhuh, heck. I'm working Friday and Saturday nights," Jill complained. I stuck a finger under the cushion and scratched my itchy ear. It only itched when I was on the phone, of course. "I didn't think there was anything going on."
"There's not, I guess. I'm just trying to find something to do."
*** 11:48 2 May
We were enjoying lunch outside for the first time in what seemed like years, like most everyone else, when Julia came up. She asked nervously, "Um, Tuck? Could I talk to you for a second? You too, Debbie."
Debbie and I looked at each other.
*** 11:50 2 May
Debbie snorted. Julia complained, "It's not funny!" Then she and Debbie locked eyes, and Julia started snorting too. "It's not!" she insisted before she burst out laughing.
*** 11:53 2 May
"I mean, you can come if you want," Julia mentioned.
"I dunno," I said. "If Debbie goes, I guess I will. I get some of the profits when we sell stuff together." Julia shook her head.
"God, what a last day of school," Debbie mentioned, then had a giggle fit again.
Suddenly, an idea snapped into my head. "Hey, you're single at the moment, right?" I asked Julia.
She frowned at me. Then she started to laugh.
"What?" I complained.
"Oh, oh, you, and her," she gasped, pointing at Debbie, who was looking at me like it was my fault, whatever Julia was laughing at, "you, she..."
*** 11:57 2 May
Debbie looked embarrassed for once. "I knew this was going to happen," she sighed.
"Eugene Tucker, stud muffin!" Mike shouted, and way too many people looked our way. That just made things funnier, of course. At least it was funnier to me.
*** 12:02 2 May
"Anyway, what I wanted to ask, was, since you're," I pointed at Debbie, "busy tonight, and you're," I pointed at Julia, "going out, right? Like to a concert or something?" She nodded. "Maybe I could go with you? Everyone else is busy tonight," I explained, as the two women looked at each other. "And Sheila," my therapist person, "said it would be a good idea to stay with my friends as much as possible."
*** 12:04 2 May
They'd gone into a huddle, which worried me, and they were talking frantically at each other. I sighed, wondering if I'd gone too far. I mean, I just wanted a night out of my house, instead of sitting at home getting crazier.
Finally, they came back. "Well?" I asked, hoping I was going to a) live, and b) have a girlfriend tomorrow.
"Okay," said Debbie, "on one condition."
"What?" I HAD been getting smarter.
Debbie gave me a stern look, and Julia tried to. "If," Debbie said slowly, "I hear one word, one single word about you trying to hit on her, then you are a dead man."
I spluttered for a bit, then finally came back with, "Well, if she tells the truth, then I ought to have a long live. Life," I corrected.
They looked a little confused at that, but it finally went through. Julia shrugged. "Why would I lie about something like that?" I kept my mouth shut at that one.
I was definitely getting smarter.
*** 12:08 2 May
"So a suit would be okay?"
"Yeah, like that one I saw you in, um..." Julia thought for a minute.
"Christmas?" Debbie suggested.
Julia nodded, then sighed. "God, that was a long time ago..."
*** 14:54 2 May
Debbie and I were reaffirming our relationship out in the parking lot before she had to go help Lisa with the catering thing. I was wondering if we had time to stop by my house before she went, because she kept rubbing me all sorts of fun places as we kissed, and it was irritating that I was going to go home with Mike instead of her.
She was a great kisser, though.
*** 19:04 2 May
"Well, you look nice," Mom said as I came downstairs.
"Thanks Mom, is she here yet?" I was running a little late.
"Debbie? No, she hasn't knocked, at least."
"Um. Well, actually, Debbie's busy tonight, Mom." Mom was about to ask the obvious question, so I said, "Um, it's a friend, Julia? She's in drama. She's supposed to pick me up." Maybe, I thought, I should go check outside to see if she was waiting.
"Eugene?" Mom asked. I turned back, and she had the weirdest expression on her face. "Does.... Does Debbie know about this?"
"Well, yeah, of course! I'm not dumb enough to go out with another girl without her permission." I tapped my head. "Gettin' smarter, Mom. Last year, I might have been dumb enough to try something like that, but not now."
She looked sort of pained. "Have, have I met this girl before?"
"Um." I thought about it. "I don't think so..." Ding! went the clue detector. "I'll bring her in for a minute when she gets here so you can meet her, okay?"
*** 19:07 2 May
Dad and Brian had come back, separately, and now we were all waiting for Julia to show up, I guess. Mom and Dad were trying to talk to each other silently, and I don't think they were getting through, because Dad finally got up and sat next to Mom and they whispered in each other's ears. Brian just flipped through channels with the remote. I hoped I was bugging him. We'd had another "disturbance" over who got to use the bathroom, which I settled by skipping dinner. Julia had wanted to go out to dinner anyway. I hoped.
The doorbell rang, and I got up to answer it. Brian got up and followed me. I sighed, and hoped he would keep his mouth shut. There should only be one girl at the door this time, instead of the usual three or more, and Brian might get nasty at Julia.
It was Julia, surprise surprise. Brian just looked at her as we said hello and I invited her in for a minute, and then he wandered back to the television. I hoped he would stay quiet.
*** 19:12 2 May
"What was with your parents?" Julia asked as we got into her car.
I laughed. "I, I keep showing up with parts of the Pack, I mean they keep showing up, to take me out, and I keep telling 'em I'm dating Debbie and not the rest of 'em, but they get freaked out when I go out with like half a dozen of them at a time. And no other guys," I added.
She gave me a look. "I can see how that would confuse them," she finally said.
"Say," I mentioned, "did you want to go out to eat before the concert?"
*** 19:28 2 May
"I mean, is this okay with you?" she asked me.
"Yeah, yeah, it's fine. I love Italian food."
"Me too," she grinned, and pulled into the parking lot.
*** 19:47 2 May
"I wondered if we'd EVER get seated," Julia whispered in my ear.
"It was kind of a long wait," I whispered back.
"You're sure you don't mind coming here?" she asked again.
I made a face at her. "Really, I would have said something before now, Jule." She wiggled her eyebrows at me, and picked up a menu. "Just, it seems kind of expensive, is all."
"Do you have enough money?" she asked, picking up her purse. "I can loan you-"
"Julia! I've got some money," fast draining away, but not all gone yet. "I just, I mean, this seems like the kind of place to go with someone you, you... you know."
She sighed, and gave me an apologetic look. "It was, sort of. Tony and I used to come here, but when we broke up, I was scared to come back. So... so I kind of wanted a friend along before I tried it again. Besides, it's close to the hall."
"Oh, okay. Makes sense." I picked up my menu. "What's good and doesn't remind you of ex-boyfriends?"
She smiled at me.
*** 20:38 2 May
The waiter had been looking at me funny all evening, so I was kind of glad when the check came and we could get out of here.
Julia and I figured out who owed how much, and we dug around and found enough for the bill and a tip, and then we stood up. I offered my arm as we walked out, and she took it and smiled at me.
I almost followed her into the restroom that way. She almost took me, too. We stared at each other when we figured it out, and sort of laughed, but it was sort of a painful laugh.
*** 20:42 2 May
"Sorry about the, the, back there..."
I nodded. "It's okay, it happens. I gotta work to stop myself from doing it when I'm out with most of my friends, now. At least the female ones." It hurt like hell, but it wasn't her fault.
*** 20:50 2 May
"This was close," I said, impressed for some reason.
"I know," she said, and her face kind of fell. "Tony and I, we used to..."
I grabbed her hand, which got her attention. "Well, now that you've got me here, tell me what we're gonna be listening to?" Not to distract her or anything. Haha.
*** 20:52 2 May
I stepped up to the window, since Julia had paid more for dinner than I had. "Two, please?"
The clerk said, "Yes ma'am, that'll be twelve dollars."
*** 20:54 2 May
I wiped my face. "I don't even know why I bother trying any more." My throat hurt as I tried to keep from bawling.
"Tuck, I'm sorry," she said sadly. I looked at her, and her face looked like she was about to cry, too. "If I'd known, I, I..."
*** 20:55 2 May
"I mean, I mean," I was warming up to my topic, "that's why the waiter was looking at me funny! He, he," I figured out what he must've been thinking, and I snorted.
"What?"
I motioned her over, and whispered in her ear, "I'm wearing a suit, right?" She nodded. "Hair slicked back everything, right? So if he thought I was a girl, and I look like this, and you look like that, then what does that make the two of us together?"
She looked at me for a second, and then caught it, and snorted. "You are fucking with too many people's heads lately, Tuck," she mentioned.
*** 20:57 2 May
"No, come on, that's too much," she told me. "Just put some lipstick on and come on, they're gonna be starting in a few minutes."
I dropped the mascara back in her purse and grabbed the lipstick. It was a darker shade than I normally wore, but when I put it on, it went well with the dark coat. I looked kind of Gothic, but that was cool, especially with the clothes. All it needed was a fedora... "I wish I had a hat," I thought out loud. "Except it would mess up my hair."
"Me too, now come on," she said impatiently.
*** 21:19 2 May
I glanced over at her, to see if she was smirking at me for closing my eyes and air conducting. She had her eyes closed and she was mouthing words in time to the music.
*** 21:47 2 May
We waited until some of the people had left before we got up. "I've got to go powder my nose," Julia mentioned. That must have been why she was walking so fast.
"Me too." That's why I was keeping up.
We slipped through the crowds and towards the women's room.
"Val?" I looked over, and she was holding her face in a mild pleasant smile. "They're looking at us."
I bit my lip. "Gosh, wonder why."
We didn't dare look at each other any more.
*** 21:50 2 May
I was fiddling with my hair with my fingers when she got out of her stall and came over to check herself. "Good God, Val," she exclaimed, "you are so vain. Come on, let's get a drink," she said before I could jump all over her for that comment.
*** 21:52 2 May
"I just had to say it," she sort of apologized. "Dramatic necessity." She sipped at her coke.
"Okay, I can see that," I said after a minute. It was kind of a funny comment.
"Would you mind going back in a little early?" she asked me. "Avoid the rush, and all that?" I shook my head, and then had an idea. With a grin, I offered her my arm.
She looked at me for a second or two, and then she started biting her lip, like I was doing, and turning pink. She gracefully slid her arm through mine, and we proceeded through the crowd like royalty. We didn't dare look at each other, though, or we would have cracked up and ruined the whole thing.
*** 22:49 2 May
We were discussing the concert when some young guy dressed all in black came up and leaned on Julia's shoulder. "Hey, girl, what's happenin'?" he asked. I got the impression she knew him, because she didn't just dump his arm off.
"Just doing the concert thing, Stevie," she said.
"Stephan," he corrected almost instantly. "Who's your friend here?"
"Um," she glanced at me, "this is Val, she's a friend of mine from school. Val, this is Stevie-"
"Stephan-"
"We keep running into each other at drama things."
"Or concerts," he added, "or recitals, or plays, or movies, or art galleries, or-"
"Lots of places," she said. She made a I'm-sorry face at me, I guess because of having to call me Valerie. I shrugged; I would have been more embarrassed if I had to explain what I as a guy was doing wearing makeup.
"Hi," I said, and he stuck out his hand, and I shook it.
"So," he said, leaning more on Julia, "did you have any plans for afters?"
*** 23:12 2 May
"Um," Julia said as we turned into a parking lot that almost looked familiar, "Val?"
"Huh?"
"This place..." She cleared her throat. "It's a little..." Suddenly, I recognized where we were, and started to laugh.
*** 23:14 2 May
I watched Stevie, or Stephan, kiss some guy hello. "So he's gay, I take it," I whispered into Julia's ear.
"Does that, I mean, it's no big deal, right, I mean-"
"Just checking."
*** 23:17 2 May
I was a little overwhelmed. Stevie had met up with a whole bunch of friends, and they were, I guessed, mostly gay. Or something close. Well, the guys were. Maybe it was a drama thing. Julia didn't seem to be freaked out, anyway. I was, sort of. I mean, I'd been here before, and watched guys do things to guys that would have provoked a murder in my high school, so I was sort of used to it. But I'd never been in the middle of it before. Stevie made sure we were, because he introduced us to everyone, not that I remembered any names, and then made us sit down at a booth that was right next to several tables where most of them were hanging out.
"So when have YOU been here?" Julia finally asked.
"Jill and me and Kim come out here every Sunday morning for breakfast," I explained. "We've been coming here for a long time, I guess... since, uh, since I slept over at Sabrina's house the first time."
"You what?!" She looked shocked.
"Oh, you didn't know about that?" Oh. I wondered if I'd made a mistake.
*** 23:19 2 May
She was shaking her head as we got cokes, and for some reason cokes made me think of food which made me think of Debbie doing catering tonight, which made me wonder if she was awake. "Let me go see if Debbie's out yet, okay?" Julia nodded as she sucked on the straw, so I crawled through the crowd and towards the door. There was a pay phone outside.
*** 23:23 2 May
I was dodging back towards my seat, and hoping it was still there, when I heard Julia complaining. "I'm NOT DATING her!" she protested. After a second, I figured she was talking about me. "We're just friends, and she was bored tonight," yep, that was me, "so just keep your filthy minds out of it!" she huffed.
A couple of guys I'd been introduced to laughed, but when they saw me push my way through, they shut up and changed the subject. I sat down next to Julia again, and shrugged. "Maybe this wasn't a good idea," I said a little louder than necessary, thinking sort of sideways. "I asked Debbie to bring some clothes if she can make it." I slid the tie off and stuck it in my pocket. "I mean, it was a really cool idea, the suit, but it's not me, you know?" I did not unbutton the coat.
She blinked, then said at just the right time, "Well, it was just an idea. You do look sharp, though." We shrugged at each other, and she bumped me under the table with her foot. We smiled at each other.
It was bad enough wearing a suit, any time. It was worse, much worse, to keep getting taken for a girl in one. I figured, if I was gonna sort of be elected a girl by the crowd tonight, that I might as well be comfortable - so to speak - in something that was a little less constricting.
*** 23:36 2 May
"Hi," this girl said as she pulled up a seat next to the table. She looked older than me, but not too much, and the first thing that caught my eye was that she had a really short haircut, almost a crew cut. I was worried for an instant that a skinhead was about to rip me to pieces, but she was smiling. "Haven't I seen you here before?" she asked.
"Um," I thought for a second, trying to remember her, and nothing really came up. "I dunno. I, this is my first time out, I mean, Julia and I went to a concert, and I guess she comes here a lot afterwards," the girl was nodding like she was interested, "and I was bored, so we went together tonight." I shrugged.
"No," said the girl, "I think... do you come in here on Sundays, like for breakfast sometimes?"
"Oh! Yeah, that." I smiled at her. She smiled back.
*** 23:42 2 May
Tanya, the girl I had been talking to, had to go to the bathroom and after she left, Julia nudged me in the ribs. "Don't go home with her," she whispered in my ear.
"What?" I asked skeptically.
Julia looked at me like I was stupid. "She's trying to pick you up, idiot."
"No way!"
"And," she continued into my ear, getting quieter, "if she finds out what you've got in your underwear, she might just rip it off."
I whispered back in her ear, "If DEBBIE finds out, I'd be lucky if that was all that happened!"
*** 23:47 2 May
Tanya had kind of left me alone, claiming she needed to talk to someone else, when she got the idea that I was uncomfortable around her. I felt nervous about having my dick ripped off, for some reason, haha. And that wasn't even counting what Debbie would do...
Everyone else was having five or six conversations at once, and interrupting each other too, when someone pushed their way through the crowd, and it turned out to be Debbie and Lisa and Jill. "Hey Val!" Debbie said when she saw me, and waved a gym bag in the air. Jill just grinned, and waved to us.
*** 23:49 2 May
"Maybe you shouldn't bother with most of the makeup," Debbie suggested. "You're doing okay as it is, and you're just gonna have to take it off in a while anyway." I checked my watch, and she was right. On the other hand, I felt better with it on. Like it was camo paint or something.
"Debbie?" She raised her eyebrows. I spoke quietly to her as I worked on my face; she had to sit on the sink to hear me. "There was this girl tonight..."
Confession, they said, was good for the soul. I just hoped my soul would still be in my body in ten minutes.
*** 23:52 2 May
As Debbie and I got back to the table, Lisa was telling a couple of guys, "Oh, you know, one friend leads to another, and then before you know it you're someplace you've never- oh, hey," she changed the subject when she saw us.
*** 23:53 2 May
"Playing normal person," Lisa whispered in my ear. I nodded, and had some more of her croissant. She slapped my hand when she saw what I was doing.
*** 00:26 3 May
"I have GOT to get home," I mentioned to Debbie.
"Me too," she said, looking at her pager.
*** 00:34 3 May
"Oh, it was okay. I handed out about two dozen business cards, so it was a pretty good night." She shook her head. "God, I didn't know there were so many gay guys in town." Debbie and Lisa giggled.
*** 00:38 3 May
"So, like, I was so pissed... and then I thought, you know, like why fight it any more?" I shrugged. "I, I dunno. It was like, I'd just had enough, and people were looking at me weird anyway, and, I dunno." It had seemed sort of a good idea, or at least not a bad idea, at the time. Now Debbie wanted me to explain it, and like a lot of these sorts of ideas, it was almost impossible after the fact.
*** 10:02 3 May
"Are you sleeping well?" Sheila asked me.
"Sort of. I, I was kind of out late last night." I shrugged. "You said to do fun stuff, and I had to look a little, but it was pretty fun, I went out with this girl I know, Julia, we went to this concert..."
*** 10:53 3 May
"See you next week?" Sheila asked as I got up. I nodded, and she got up too and opened the door. My parents were waiting.
*** 11:31 3 May
"Eugene?"
I sighed, and stopped. "Yeah, Dad?"
He sighed back at me. "Do you, I mean, is this therapist doing you any good?"
I thought about it. "I dunno, yet. The Pack said-"
"The Pack?"
"All those girls I, me and Debbie hang around with?" He nodded, sort of grinning. "Anyway, some of 'em are in therapy too, and they said a couple of weeks is kind of soon to be seeing any results." I shrugged. "She, Sheila, she's okay, I guess."
"I know you didn't want to go, but, your mom and I, we just didn't..." He looked like he was in pain.
"I know," I lied.
*** 11:27 3 May
The phone flashed, so I flipped it off hook. "'Lo?"
"Hey, Tuck," said Mike. "You... busy, tonight?"
"Don't think so. Wanna 'do something?'"
"Yep. Tonight, anyway. I got this class I gotta take for this summer, this afternoon."
"Like what? Baby butt wiping?"
"Yeah, pretty much. And first aid and lifeguarding and other stuff."
"Jeez. When you gonna be done?"
"Uh, Kathy said about seven. Which reminds me..."
*** 11:34 3 May
"Hey Deb!"
"Tuck!" She sounded surprised. "What's up?"
*** 12:02 3 May
"You really do this?"
Kathy said, in this sort of tired voice, "I really do this. A lot."
"Oh. Cool," I guess. If she liked it. I guess she did, though, or she wouldn't do it more than once.
She ruffled my hair and smiled at me. "Ready for CPR?"
*** 19:29 3 May
"So what ARE you going to do tonight?" Debbie asked me over her coke.
"Oh, I dunno. Something." I shrugged. "The less you know-"
She finished with, "-the less I can tell in court." She sighed, "I know, I know. I just wish you'd tell me more of this stuff before it happens."
I thought about it. "Promise to keep quiet?"
"Duh!"
I grinned at her. "Here's what we were gonna do..."
*** 00:14 4 May
I was a little surprised to see Jill in the van, but there she was. She smiled at me. It wasn't a nice smile. Neither was mine.
"She wanted to come along," Mike explained, "and I figured we could use another hand. I... explained to her... the rules." I glanced at Jill, and she nodded, looking very serious. I figured that it would take a lot more than hot needles to get HER to talk.
*** 01:19 4 May
I wrapped the induction antenna with electrical tape; lots and lots of electrical tape, so it would stay on and hopefully dry through the rain.
Poor old Matthew. He was going to be insane if this worked. More insane than he was already, I mean.
"Test check at the house end, Hugo," I said into the microphone. There were some clicks on the line, then a dial tone, then a rapid sequence of DTMF, then a few rings, then someone picked up the phone. Dan hung up. I pulled my lineman's set out, and hooked into another circuit on the pole, and dialed the recorder. It picked up, finally, and I tapped in the access code. It played back everything that had gone over Nickerson's line, including the DTMF, at double speed.
"Jester says, basic check works out. Let me reprogram this..."
"Hey," said Jill over the radio, instantly recognizable. "Cop, he's turning into the alley, east side."
"Oh, shit," said someone. I just froze, staring at the pole.
The cop car drove slowly down the alley; I could tell from where the headlights reflected. Be calm, I thought to myself, be calm be calm be calm becalmbecalmbecalmbecalm- he was right beneath me, ohGoddon'tletmegotojailplease... The cop kept going, and I started to breathe again, a lot.
*** 10:04 4 May
"Val, you look awful," Kim mentioned when she saw me.
"She was up late," Jill said before I could say anything.
Kim looked at me, then at Jill, then at me, then at Jill, then said, "Would anyone care to explain?"
We both said "No," at the same time.
*** 10:49 4 May
I kept looking for Tanya, but she wasn't around today. I hoped.
*** 15:37 4 May
"Well, is there ANYthing in the cell?" Dan asked desperately. I knew taking claustrophobia was a bad idea, but nobody ever listened to me.
"Nope," said Mike, with a note of finality.
"AHHHHHHHHHH!" Dan complained. He'd get points for roleplaying for this session, assuming he didn't get killed. Well, his character.
*** 18:19 4 May
"Ready?" Mike nodded, and got ready on the tape recorder. I dialed up Nickerson's phone, and crossed my fingers.
It went off hook, and beeped. I tapped in the access code while Mike hit record. It started to babble. We grinned at each other.
*** 11:31 5 May
"So what did you do this weekend?" Amanda asked me.
"Ohhhhhh," I looked at my fingernails. "Nothing much." Jill cracked up.
"You know, if I wasn't transsexual [and paying for all these hormones], I could have paid for SRS by now?" - ehayes
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