-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hockey Tuck -*- Copyright 2000 by Ellen Hayes.
Any resemblance between the writings in this work, and any actual persons or places, living or dead, are purely coincidental, except when used for satirical purposes.
This work contains adult situations, adult language, adult concepts, and possibly sex. If you are legally not allowed to read materials containing such things, then you will be breaking the law by reading this. I am not responsible. Continuing to read this document, or storing it or reproducing it in any format means that you explicitly affirm that you are legally allowed to possess and read such materials in your city, county/parish, state, and country.
All rights reserved. See the bottom for distribution rights.
Hockey Tuck
*** 21:08 14 Jun
"Oh sh- Tuck, I almost forgot," Kim mentioned, and dug in her purse. I watched her as I continued to fling noodles into myself.
Eventually, she pulled out this bulging envelope, and handed it towards me. I took it, eventually.
"It's your share of the money from the con, plus your pay for last week," she said neutrally. "I told Debbie I'd give it to you."
It was FULL of twenty-dollar bills.
"Holy fuck!" Amy commented, and I felt Susan administer a correction over my back.
"I checked it from the receipts and everything, and it all counts out, minus your payments on work clothes and the car," Kim continued in this business voice. Shifting to her normal voice, she said, "And if I could make a suggestion? There should be a sheet in there, like a balance sheet? For the car and stuff." I dug through, and there was, in the back. "Pay some extra of it off as soon as you can."
"But you can pay for us tonight, right?" Mike said, and then clenched as he got kicked from several directions at the same time.
*** 21:11 14 Jun
"Hey!" said a voice, and I looked up and it was Jill and Kathy.
"Mmmph," I said, swallowing frantically, but Mike took care of saying hello for me, so I went back to feeding.
It was one of those times you could understand sharks. If I hadn't had the moby bowl of noodles in front of me, I might have dived under the tables and ripped off a haunch of Restaurant Patron myself.
*** 22:19 14 Jun
"So?"
"I know this place," Susan said, "if you want to go dancing..."
I'd been told I wanted to go dancing, so I nodded.
*** 22:25 14 Jun
"Wait wait wait, pull in there, the Pick-n-Save," I begged Susan. I'd gotten an Idea, and it couldn't wait.
*** 22:31 14 Jun
I'd gotten some kids' fluorescent paint, non-toxic, and had taken the orange and drawn my face up like the old Atari logo. It looked good in the car mirror; it'd look better under the blacklights, I knew. And I'd started something, because Kathy looked at what I was doing, and then grabbed the green, and then everyone was painting tribal stripes on each other.
*** 22:45 14 Jun
It was a hard beat, and some old mix stuff, but it was still good to dance to. So I did. So did everyone else.
And they had plenty of blacklights. We were really glowing, and people were looking at us, but I was starting to get into the music, so I didn't care.
*** 23:19 14 Jun
We'd finally found a place to sit down, and I was panting, because I had been dancing hard. Amy sat next to me, and I think she wanted a cuddle until she realized how hot and sweaty we both were.
*** 23:22 14 Jun
It was a lot cooler, eventually, but the stripes were starting to sweat off from everyone. That looked cool too, with the dribbles of glowing color beading down. I hoped it would wash out, but it was paint for first-graders; it had to, right?
*** 23:28 14 Jun
"Come on Kath-!" I hadn't realized quite how strong she was; she pulled my arm until I followed, and then just grabbed me and threw me over her shoulder. Amy and Susan were staring at us in shock as Kathy walked towards the dance floor, so I waved bye-bye to them. There wasn't much else I could do. I guess I could have gotten loose, but it would have involved hurting Kathy, which I didn't want to do, and then if I'd hurt her she'd have hurt me worse, so I'd have had to make sure she couldn't hit back, and-
I'd just rather dance.
*** 23:44 14 Jun
Jill could really dirty-dance, but I was discovering unknown reserves of something - Lust? Evil? My changeling nature? - and so I was doing it to her about as bad as she was doing it to me. Luckily, the song ended before we quite had to remove clothing.
I was kind of spent, so I stood up and concentrated on deep breathing for a while, until I felt soft hands under my shirt and a tongue in my ear. "Yairet!" I said, far too loudly, and a lot of people saw me standing rigid in shock and Amy falling down laughing on the floor behind me. I have no idea what I looked like, but it must've been funny, because when I went back to my body, people were laughing.
When I turned around to Amy, she obviously caught something of what I had in mind for her because she scrabbled upright and ran off into the crowd.
*** 23:47 14 Jun
Unfortunately for Amy, running around ran the risk of running into Mike, who had a trouble-seeking radar in his brain somewhere. So when I slid between two guys, there she was, trying to get away from him. I dodged her vision and slid up behind her and grabbed, and when she jumped, squealing, off the floor, I turned her around, and almost before she landed I was giving her The Treatment.
When I came up for air and looked around, Amy's eyes were glazed, and Mike was hiding his. "Jeez, Tuck, not your COUSIN!" he protested when he peeked.
"She deserved it," I stated, and let her go. She fell against Mike for a second; luckily, he caught her.
"Whajado, poison her?"
"Nuh," Amy commented, and started blinking.
"Maybe we could sit down for a while?" I suggested, and we helped drag her to a decrepit couch that was momentarily unoccupied. Amazingly it had a large fan pointed at it, which provided a lot of extra cooling.
That was a good thing, because Amy crawled up in my lap like we were dating or something, and then she snuggled against me, her arms around my neck. "Don't ever do that again," she purred in one ear.
"I won't if you won't," I told her, and goosed her.
"Yai!" she commented, and then let go.
*** 00:00 15 Jun
When the stroke of newday hit, announced by a large gong noise played at high volume over the speakers, I was glad I was sitting down. Somehow, though, I'd been transferred into Kathy's lap, and I was more than happy to be there as her and Susan brushed my hair back into order. Even if Kathy was bouncing me up and down with her legs and talking baby talk sometimes.
If I hadn't known that cyberware was about twenty years away from the SOTA - unless me and Mike got around to some serious design work, of course - I would've sworn that's what I was sitting on, because she was actually giving me air time by flexing her legs.
"Ah boo boo bee bah!" Kathy squealed as I bounced repeatedly.
"If you really want this to look authentic," I finally mentioned, as I started to get a bit motion-sick, "I should spit up all over your nice clothes."
"You do that," Kathy said in a normal voice, "and I'll make you eat it." But she stopped, which was the important thing. Then she lifted me up, and put me on my sister's lap. I smiled, and eventually Susan smiled back, hesitantly.
"You want to argue with her?" I pointed out as Kathy got up and Jill slid in. "She's meaner than you are."
Susan sighed, and pulled my head onto her shoulder, patting my back.
*** 00:28 15 Jun
It was a little strange, dancing with Susan, but she wasn't nearly as bad a dancer as I remembered. She tossed me out, lifting my hand, and I spun under it twice and was ready when she pulled me back in with an almost audible snap.
*** 01:28 15 Jun
"You wouldn't kiss my sister, would you?" I complained to Kathy, half jokingly. It was still sort of gross, thinking of someone-
Kathy shrugged, and grabbed Susan, who squealed for a moment, until Kathy covered up the noisemaking hole with her lips.
I think we all stared.
Susan stopped struggling after a moment.
Finally Kathy let go, leaving my sister to fall limp on the fender, and grinned. "Not bad."
I didn't know whether to run screaming, or vomit. I should have done something, because Kathy's gaze fell on me, and before I could get going to elsewhere, she grabbed me and did the same thing to me.
When she finally let go, a half hour later, my eyes wouldn't focus, and I had vague urges to do something with someone - what and who were sort of open at that point - and she looked around. I fell against the fender, next to Susan, and wondered if I could get up again if I fell off.
Mike grabbed Kim and pulled her in front of him. "No no, take the woman!" he said in a bad 'panic-stricken Arabian merchant' accent.
Kathy did, and Kim didn't protest too much, as Susan started to splutter.
Kathy had to chase Mike around for almost five minutes, long enough for all of us to recover, before she caught him, but I guess those extra six inches of leg she had gave her legs like a gazelle, because she ran him down - which I did not think was possible - and kissed him like she'd done all of us.
"Enough already!" Kim yelled after thirty seconds.
*** 01:56 15 Jun
"Ah, kids?" Dad called. We all stopped as he turned down his Stevie Wonder and came out of his office. I knew I didn't look my best, what with paint streaks, sweat stains, and lipstick kisses from everyone except Mike all over my face and neck, and Susan and Amy didn't look much better. "You.... didn't join a cult or something, while you were gone, did you?"
"No!" I protested.
"God," commented Amy, still dazed.
"No God or anything," Susan combined, and grabbed us both. "Right?" I nodded quickly, like Amy did. I knew a cue when it grabbed my neck and squeezed. "Just dinner and dancing, Dad, I swear."
"I think I need sleep," I mentioned, because Dad was splitting into two, like he didn't do unless I was really tired. Amy agreed, and Dad finally gave us the nod.
*** 02:27 15 Jun
My door opened, which was almost a unique occurrence, and Amy came in wearing a towel like this was her room.
By the time I could figure out she must've gotten the door code from Mike when he busted it, she had rubbed her hair out, dropped the hair towel on top of mine, and then shrugged and dropped the other one.
The last time I'd seen her naked was when she was eleven, and she'd changed a lot.
Then I realized I was standing there, naked too, and so I dove for the covers on the bed and began to curse at her.
*** 02:31 15 Jun
"I thought you'd seen naked women before," Amy commented into my ear. I pulled harder on the pillow, and she let go, letting me pull it over my head.
I was half expecting her to do something, but when she tickled my rear end, I still spasmed my knee into the bookcase on the other side of the bed. "You bitch!" I commented, losing the pillow, and sat up to make her pay for it. Her face, though, looked so shocked and so sorry that I stopped.
"Tuck, I'm really really sorry," she finally said, holding her hands out like it would make a difference if I went after her. "I didn't mean to, to..."
Damnit, she was still naked. "Argh!" I commented, and stuffed my head back under the pillow again.
*** 02:37 15 Jun
"I'm really sorry," Amy whispered as she clung to me in the bed. She'd finally gotten a shirt to sleep in, as had I.
I stroked her hair, vaguely, and mumbled, "I know. Go sleep." Which I did.
*** 04:19 15 Jun
I heard a clicking noise, and a few seconds later, someone slid into bed next to me. Oh, I thought as I figured it out, Amy went to the bathroom...
*** 09:55 15 Jun
"Wha?"
"It's Jill," said the far-too-awake voice on the phone. "Wanna have breakfast?"
I hate you! is what I thought, and what I tried to say, but what came out was completely unintelligible, and I guess Jill thought it was close enough, because she replied, "Okay, see you in half an hour!" and hung up.
I threw the phone over the body next to me and passed out before I got my arm back.
*** 10:33 15 Jun
The knocking at my door scared me awake, and I sat completely up.
So did Amy.
So did Susan.
I screamed, and somehow ended up on the headboard, gasping and trying to figure out what the hell was going on.
I didn't figure it out by the time I lost my perch and fell off, almost crushing Amy as I fell across the bed. We both screamed, and I ended up perching on my fingertips and my feet, arching over her like we were playing Twister. Amy started to cautiously uncurl about the time Susan yanked the door open and yelled, "WHAT?!"
Mom's and Jill's eyebrows both went up, and Kim's face turned into something awful.
My fingers were slipping. "Amy-" And I lost traction and fell on top of her.
"Gah!" she screamed and threw me over the foot, through the books I had stacked there, which fell on me like hailstones when I ended up on the floor.
I still didn't know what was going on. Maybe it's just a nightmare-
Someone stepped on my hand. I shrieked as it felt like my bones were being splintered, and unfortunately yanked my hand out from underneath. "Suh-!" Susan got out before she slammed into Amy, who bounced off the corner post on the bed and thence onto me. Something thunked against the bedframe, and I don't think it was a part of my body, because most of me was under Amy.
She weighed a lot more than I remembered, too, especially when she tried to break her fall and slammed an open palm across my chest, right on the swelling.
When my vision cleared, I was crouched on top of the bed, gasping from the astonishing amount of pain that was slowly fading. Amy was squealing as she tried to fend off another avalanche from where she'd landed. And Susan was glaring at me from the floor in a position that would have been fit for Penthouse if it wasn't my sister and she wasn't going to hurt me soon. I knew that look.
Noises of immense mirth were coming from the hallway. Before I could even think about getting mad, Susan did, and slammed the door shut from the floor.
I crawled under the covers, shaking, and pulled a pillow over my head. The pillow beating commenced shortly thereafter, which was one reason I was hiding under the padding.
*** 10:50 15 Jun
"Because I was having nightmares!" Susan snapped at all of us. "And Amy was in Tuck's room, and, and..."
I was going to have to put in a new lock code.
Though, from the way Brian was looking at all of us, he wasn't ever going to think about setting foot in my room again. So life wasn't all bad.
*** 11:04 15 Jun
"Oh, sh-" Susan almost said. "I've got to get ready, Mish and I are going to lunch!" She grabbed Amy's arm, and they both disappeared.
Jill and Kim both turned to look at me. "So," Kim started, "um, did you want to go somewhere else today? For breakfast, I mean?"
"Wh- oh." It took me a second. "Um..."
I thought about it for a minute, but then realized that I'd like a croissant or three, and the Gay Cafe was the usual place. When we'd tried someplace else, it had sucked. Besides, the clothing thing wasn't that big a deal; I was doing it every weekday anyway.
Speaking of which, I had to go put it on.
*** 11:18 15 Jun
"Ready?" Kim asked as I opened the door. Amy and Jill stood up as I nodded, and then Kim and Jill and I went downstairs.
*** 11:41 15 Jun
I got sort of melancholy when I was putting on makeup, because it reminded me of Debbie, and I still didn't know what had gone wrong, or why she wouldn't listen to me-
I wasn't expecting Jill to swat me in the head. "Nuh uh," she warned, "you're thinking bad thoughts. Stop it."
"Jill!" Kim protested.
Jill turned to Kim. "I don't want to put up with it from either of them," she snarled. "I am NOT gonna take sides, and listening to both of them'd drive me nuts!"
"Good God, don't you have any compassion?" Kim said, shocked.
"Who, me?" Jill said, at the same time I said, "Who, her?"
*** 11:55 15 Jun
"Jeez, just like always," I commented as we waited to get seated. At least the two guy-guy couples in front of us weren't doing the nasty right there. I resolved, though, not to look in any cars in the parking lot.
*** 12:11 15 Jun
We'd just gotten our orders when Jill stood up and waved. I looked behind me as my adrenaline schlooped into my bloodstream, hoping it wasn't Debbie-
It wasn't, which was a relief. It was only Susan and Amy. I started breathing again, and waved too.
As Amy got closer, she called, "Michelle canceled at the last minute, and so I thought we could have breakfast here."
"How did she know we'd be here?" I asked the table as Jill sat down again.
"Um, she asked me where we were going before we left your house," Kim explained.
"Oh. That's cool, I guess." Amy grabbed a chair from an empty table and put it at the head of the booth's table, and then Susan finally made it and slid in next to Jill.
Then something clicked in Susan's head, and she shifted into Bitch Mode.
*** 12:14 15 Jun
Susan turned from Kim and Jill towards me. "And you've been doing this EVERY SUNDAY?!"
"Um, not EVERY Sunday," I protested. Lamely. Even I could tell that.
So could Susan, which is probably why she grabbed my arm and shook me. "This is what is making you crazy!" she shrieked. "Stop it!" She let go when three sets of other hands pried her loose from me.
*** 12:17 15 Jun
"I'm safer this way," I muttered.
"What?" Susan questioned.
"Look, sometimes it happens without me even trying, you know? Like at that restaurant, in April?" I reminded her. "Especially when I'm out with a girl or three. I don't know what it is, and I know I'm not doing it on purpose, but it happens anyway."
"So why-"
"Because if I go through all this shit," I squeezed my arms together, causing the fake breasts to heave, "then people don't look twice. It's when they start looking twice that I'm in deep shit!"
"Tuck, they don't do-"
"Yes they do," Jill disputed.
Susan turned on her. "When have they-"
"Weren't you paying attention when we were out dancing?" Jill interrupted again. "EVERYone was staring at our little horde."
*** 12:21 15 Jun
"Did you come here for breakfast or lunch," Kim asked pointedly, "or did you come here to yell at Valerie?"
Susan opened her mouth to say something, and then stopped. I think it was Jill that kicked her, because it was Jill that warned, "Don't you go fucking things up with the wrong name."
*** 12:23 15 Jun
"Yeah, Suze," Amy chimed in, "I'm hungry and I'd rather eat than listen to you lecture. And weren't you the one that was talking about changing the age of maturity to sixteen, a couple of years ago?"
"That was different!" she protested, and got a chorus of raspberries for her trouble. They matched her face, too.
Amy turned to me and asked directly, "Did they make you come dressed like that?"
"No!"
"So you did it of your own free will?"
"Yeah, I guess-"
"So Suze," Amy said, "shaddup already, wouldja?"
Susan threw up her hands in surrender.
"So what's good?" Amy asked.
*** 12:44 15 Jun
"I don't even know," Kim complained. "I mean, the last, what, four times I thought things were getting serious, the guy went nuts on me."
"I thought it was five," Jill commented.
"Whatever!" Kim complained. She turned to Susan. "Tell me things are different in college, please?"
Susan sighed and made a face. Kim's expression went south.
"This," Amy commented, "is NOT filling me with hope and optimism," which made us all laugh.
*** 13:20 15 Jun
"I gotta go to work by two," Jill complained. "Hey, though, Kim, why don't you keep Val there out of trouble, since you said you were gonna go shopping."
Kim gestured at me and said incredulously, "Her? She gets ME in trouble!"
"I do not!"
*** 13:36 15 Jun
I hugged Jill and Kim before they got in Kim's car, and we all waved until Kim pulled out of the parking lot.
"I dunno if this is such a good idea," Susan said as she started digging for her own car keys.
"Oh, come on, Suze!" Amy complained. "You OWE me some shopping time!"
"Do what," Susan replied skeptically.
"You too," Amy told me. "You both took jobs this summer, and I'm stuck in the house with Brian and without a driver's license! I coulda done this in New York!"
Susan looked at me; I shrugged; and for Amy, that meant that it was settled and we'd lost. Though I hadn't really been fighting. I did feel a bit guilty.
*** 14:04 15 Jun
"I REALLY don't know if this is a good idea," Susan commented as we slowed to a stop at the entrance to wait for Kim to show up.
"What's the big deal?" I asked her. "It's safe enough, it's far away from home, there's plenty of people around-"
"That's not what I meant," she informed me.
"What DID you mean?" I shot back.
"You."
We glared at each other for a few moments.
"Would you two stop it?" Amy said, moving between the two of us and pushing us apart. "There is not gonna be a problem today, unless one of you causes it."
"I'M not gonna start anything," I assured her.
"Good!" she said, loudly. "So come over here, I want to see what's in the windows."
*** 14:06 15 Jun
"Whaddaya think of that?" Amy asked us, pointing at a dress in one of the windows. I made a face, and as I turned to Amy to tell her it was awful, I saw the same expression on Susan's face.
"That bad, huh?" Amy sighed.
"And overpriced, too," Susan commented. "It's gotta be." I nodded in agreement.
*** 14:19 15 Jun
"Maybe, but jeans are easier to deal with," Susan sighed. She'd been complaining about the heat, except Amy and I didn't think it was that bad. But Amy was in shorts, and I was in a mini. Tights covered the scabs and bruises; now I knew why girls wore them.
"Not that much easier," Amy said.
"Yeah, it's-" Mike was here, I noticed, so I waved at him. And Kim was right next to him.
*** 14:21 15 Jun
"She said she wanted some moral support, for trying on clothes," Mike explained as we moved through the airlock into the mall.
"You? You're IMMORAL support," I reminded him.
"Shut up Val," Mike said casually.
"Yeah, shut up Val," Kim added, but ruined it by snickering.
*** 14:44 15 Jun
Mike had thought ahead enough to bring all six of his juggling bags, so we were practicing while waiting for the girls to come out of the changing rooms.
"I thought you'd be trying some stuff on," he commented after a couple of minutes.
"Not this time." I hunched up my shoulders for an instant, and three counts later we tried an exchange. I dropped mine.
"You haven't been practicing," he mentioned, keeping juggling.
"I know," I grumbled as I bent down and got the bag off the floor. "I've been busy, and when I wasn't, I was working on my synth."
"You oughta take your bags to work with you."
"Ya know, you're right." I watched his hands for a second, then started juggling again in rhythm. "I oughta. Maybe I could teach Ricky to juggle."
"Oh don't-" he said in a snotty tone, then changed it and said, "Wait, he's the old one, right?"
"Well, he's seven, if you call that old..."
"Ah. I thought for a second you were talking about the baby."
"That's Stella."
"Right." He hunched his shoulders up for a second. One two three, and we threw towards each other, and this time it worked, with the bags flying into our respective hands. "So has Kim told you what a stud I am?"
"Do what?!"
"Damn, I was hoping she'd told SOMEbody that," he sighed theatrically.
"Not me, sorry. Should I mention it to her?"
"Oooh, yeah," he said, in the tone of voice that said 'No.' "You do that."
"Susan's coming out," I mentioned, as she came out.
"Six five four three two one," Mike counted, and at the point he would have said zero, we caught all the bags and stopped, and he turned to face her. "So?"
Susan looked annoyed. "What the hell do you-"
"Suze!" I called, drawing her attention. "Just chill, alright? He was asking an honest question."
She sighed, and shrugged, and handed more than half the hangers back to the clerk. "I dunno, it just seems like everything was the wrong style or something. It kept making me look fat."
I said, "Why don't you try something in the next size up?"
"Why don't you-"
"Suze!" I snapped back at her. "We know you can be bitchy when you want; you don't have to keep proving it!"
"Don't call me a bitch!"
I sighed. So did Mike.
*** 14:47 15 Jun
Sometimes the only way to make someone understand was to show them. "See? This one's one size bigger than the other one, and I KNOW it's a little oversize, but it works better, I think." I checked in the mirror and I was right.
"Okay, okay," Susan sighed. "Sorry."
"S'okay," I said.
*** 14:54 15 Jun
"It's just, I mean, I keep expecting you or Mike or both to, to DO something, like throw a pie at me or trip me or something." She glared at us both as we strolled along the main concourse.
"Well, you know, if you're-" I shut myself up before I said something everyone was gonna regret. "Wait, I mean, we're a year older, and we haven't had all year to like get on each other's nerves, right? So maybe, we don't have anything to get back for, any more?" I hoped.
"I guess," Susan said, like it might be true but she wasn't sure.
"Besides," Mike said, "if you calm down, relax, and stop treating US like little bratty children, then we will DEFINITELY not treat you like the evil stepmother any more."
I wasn't the only one stunned enough to stop walking. Everyone was.
"Am I right?" he asked me.
"Yeah..." He was. "Yeah, that's it."
"So," he looked at Susan. "Deal? You treat us like kids your own age, and we'll act as maturely as you do."
Susan blinked several times, and then noticed his hand stuck out. They shook on it.
*** 14:56 15 Jun
"Oh, it was just so beautiful!" Kim wept melodramatically into her hands.
"Shut up Kim," Mike said.
"Yeah, shut up Kim," I added.
"Don't tell my girlfriend to shut up!"
"Why don't you shut up?" I shot back.
"Why don't you both shut up?" Kim suggested cheerfully.
We shrugged, and did.
*** 15:08 15 Jun
"Oooh, hot date coming up?" I said to Susan as she came out of the changing stall, wearing a very good looking blue dress.
"Tucker!" she snapped, and EVERYONE flinched at the same time, except Susan, who figured it a second later, and twitched. "Sorry..."
I swallowed, to wet my throat. "Um, um, what I meant was," I tried to get everyone's mind off what happened, "it looks really nice, so you must be wanting to look nice for some reason."
She took the out. "Yeah, I mean, I don't know for sure, but Kyle- you-" She glared at me. "He's the one that you slammed the door in his face, that morning!"
"I didn't know he thought I was you!" I complained. "All I knew was that some guy I'd never even seen before thought I was going out with him, and that was just TOO WEIRD," I emphasized. "You'da done the same thing in my place."
"Still-"
"I hereby apologize," I intoned, putting a hand over my sternum. "And I won't do it again." As long as nobody thinks I'm you again, I added mentally.
"Now that we have THAT settled," Mike suggested loudly, "can we get back to Susan's dress?"
After everyone stared at him, he explained, "I'd rather listen to you discuss clothes, than listen to you discuss who did what to who."
"Anything but that," Kim agreed.
Mike turned to Kim and raised his finger. "Speaking of nice dresses, Kim..."
"Oh, no, dooooon't," she whined.
*** 15:21 15 Jun
"Tell her, Suze." I turned to my sister as Kim turned slightly redder. She was going to pop a blood vessel if we didn't do something.
"It does look good on you," Susan agreed. "I mean, I'd love to have cleavage like that, and it REALLY makes it..."
"Stand up?" Mike supplied, and Amy hit him.
"Well, yeah, kinda," Susan said. "I mean, if you've got it, you might as well use it, right?"
Kim's face looked like she was trying to swallow bile. "But," she finally protested softly.
"That too," Mike said in a reassuring tone, and Amy hit him again. "Would you stop that?"
"Stop being an asshole," Amy instructed him.
"No," I told Amy, "he's right. Even if he is a bit crude."
Mike, naturally, laughed like a dirty old man, and naturally, Amy hit him on the shoulder again. "You stop that or I'm taking you lingerie shopping," he warned her.
"You wouldn't dare," she sneered.
Kim started laughing, and Amy got a little worried.
*** 15:37 15 Jun
"I can't BELIEVE you're making me do this!" Amy wailed from the changing stall.
"You shouldn'ta hit him that last time," I called back. "You knew the risk, you took the chance..."
Susan went past, holding something on the other side that she didn't want me to see. Naturally, I had to see it now, so I ducked around and pulled it out of her hands and spread it out.
There wasn't much.
As Susan yanked the rose slip back, Mike said, "Isn't that going to clash with that blue dress?"
"No," Kim stated authoritatively as Susan boggled. "It's got a little blue in it," which I didn't see in it at all, "and it'll contrast really nice, if she's trying to give this guy a peek now and then."
Kim and I chuckled evilly, and Mike looked at her and said, "Why don't you ever try that on me?"
"What?" Kim gasped.
"If you know the trick..."
"Um," Kim said, and stopped. Now it was Susan and I chuckling. "Shut up!"
*** 15:41 15 Jun
"Yeah, it looks good on you," I assured a nervous Amy.
"You don't think it makes me look slutty?"
I took another look. "Not really... you'd probably want to..." I trailed off as I reconsidered.
"What?"
"I was gonna say, you'd want to wear something opaque over it, but maybe not. It'd look really feminine if you were wearing one of those thin blouses-"
"NO you pervert!" Kim complained from the front of the shop, and there was a smack noise.
"I can't help it, I'm male," Mike said in an aggrieved tone. There were general noises of mild amusement all over the shop after that.
Amy snorted. "Are all guys like him?"
I shook my head. "No, some guys are really sick. Mike's sort of normal, except he's willing to admit things that most guys won't."
"Like what?"
"Like what he wants, and what he thinks about..." This was getting dangerous, I realized.
"Like what?" Amy repeated.
"YOU ask him," I told her.
Susan came out of her stall and asked, "Hey does..." before she realized I was there; then she remembered that we weren't really opposed any more before something nasty could come out of her mouth. Then she just stood there, confused.
"Yeah, that looks nice," Amy said admiringly.
"Yeah it does," I agreed.
"I dunno," she said, getting cold feet. Amy bumped me with her elbow, which was a signal I didn't need.
*** 15:43 15 Jun
I could see the blue in the rose now, since Susan had both on at the same time. And it looked even better.
"Ooooh, yeah," Mike enthused. "You know this guy?"
Uh oh, I realized. "Yeah, how long have you known him?"
"What? Why?" Susan snapped.
"That is the sort of combination that leads to hotel rooms and champagne," Mike said.
Pause.
"What?" Amy got out first.
Mike rolled his eyes. "Look, if she's gonna wear all that for this guy, and you've known him how long?" he asked Susan.
"Um," Susan replied.
"Never mind, it says something, and what it says is 'I want to drive you mad with lust and I'll take care of the lust for you.'"
"You you SWINE!" Susan seethed, and made a grab for him, which I intercepted. It hurt.
"Susan," Kim said soothingly as she grabbed Susan's other arm, "he's right. That dress is a seriously romantic sort of combination. Are you sure you want to show him that? YOU in that?"
"You think it's bad?" Susan said nervously, letting go of me in her confusion.
Everyone sighed at the same time except Susan. "Suze," I finally took the plunge as I rubbed my sore arm, "I think you'd better start discussing this Kyle guy."
"But- No- I-" She huffed. "Do I get the damn slip or not?"
"Get the slip," Mike suggested, "and then save it for when it's appropriate. It's a killer combination."
"Okay," she sighed, and went back in the stall and shut the door.
*** 16:01 15 Jun
"I just dunno," Susan sighed as we all sat down at a table with sodas. "I mean, I liked him last year, when I was here, but I never really had a chance to date him, I was with Carlo..." Carlo the lying worm, who Dad wouldn't mind shooting at if he ever showed up at our place again. I had other, longer-lasting plans for him if I caught him bothering Susan.
"But how long have you actually dated him?" Kim asked.
"Just a couple of times, but we really seem to connect..."
I shook my head. "Suze, I really think it's too early to get serious with him-"
"Who said I was getting serious?" she complained.
"That dress would say that," Mike stated.
We all nodded.
"Shit," Susan commented.
*** 16:18 15 Jun
And so we were off again, to find something for Susan's date next Friday with Kyle, that would show she was interested but not too serious yet but she could be if he treated her decently and not like a slut. And looked good enough to go to a play he'd gotten tickets for.
This was, I feared, going to take a while.
*** 16:55 15 Jun
"Hey, Val?" Amy called, and I looked up. She was holding up a black cocktail dress. "C'mere for a second."
"What?" I said as I got close to her.
"Y- Would you try this on?"
"Why? I don't have any place to wear something like that."
She bit her lip. "Um... you know, I'm only in town for the summer, so I said dating was a bad idea, right? 'Cause of all the summer romance heartbreak or whatever."
"Yeahhhhh," I admitted reluctantly. She'd been reading too much Seventeen, if she was talking like that, but I basically agreed with what she'd said. I was just afraid of what she was going to say next. Whatever it was.
She said, "Well, I was thinking that maybe since I'm not dating and you're not dating that we could go out sometimes just to have fun and that maybe you could do it as Valerie so we could like really hang out together and stuff," all in one long string.
"Do what?"
"I mean, it's not like I need you to be that way or anything but it's like so different and you seem a lot more confident like that and you look GOOD like you're dressed now and I just thought we could do more stuff together since you seem to like it and we could like pal around and do stuff since Suze's gonna be dating this guy and not wanting me around," she dumped again, and took a deep breath. "If you wanted to, I mean."
"I what?"
She huffed at me. "Are you paying attention?"
"I'm TRYING to!"
*** 16:58 15 Jun
Amy had convinced - or confused - me, but in return I'd gotten her to try the same dress on herself. She finally came out of the stall, and I looked her over while she did the same thing to me.
"I think it looks good on you," she said finally.
"Yeah... so does yours."
"You think?"
"Duh, I wouldn't have said it if I didn't think so. Come look," I said, and we went to the back of the changing room where they had the Wall-O-Mirrors. Susan was already there, and when she saw us she flinched.
"Geez, T-" She stopped herself. "This is tooo weird, seeing you like that."
"Yeah well, I think I'm old enough to start wearing things like this now," Amy inserted, pretending it was her the comment was addressed to.
"Not you, squirt," Susan said, shaking her head.
"You think it's weird for you?" I commented, and pointed to Amy. "She WANTS me to try this stuff on."
Susan frowned at Amy, and Amy sighed before starting to 'explain' it again. I tuned it out and looked at both of us from as many angles as I could manage. We had roughly the same build, and the dress looked good on both of us.
"You need to dump the tights though," Amy said to me.
"Not now," I disagreed. "Later, yeah. The only reason I'm wearing 'em now is that I look like a chew toy."
*** 17:08 15 Jun
The round of applause caused heads to turn and drove Susan back into the changing room, but we finally had a dress. Or she did. Or she would when she paid for it.
Or something like that.
*** 17:19 15 Jun
"We've been shopping for US all afternoon," Kim explained forcefully. "The least we can do is devote a little time to making sure MIKE looks good too. Right?"
"Good luck," Susan said, and Amy slapped her shoulder.
"This is how I get paid back for my patience with you lunatics this afternoon? I have to do it too?" Mike complained.
Kim grabbed him and kissed him for a while.
When she let go, he shook himself, and said, "Lead on!" with enthusiasm.
Amy asked, "Does that always work?"
"Only when you haven't had sex with him yet," Susan replied idly, and then apparently realized what she'd said because she slapped her hand over her own mouth.
I fell down on the ground and had hysterics for a while. I don't know who was kicking me, but I was laughing too hard to resist; I had to roll under a clothing rack to get away.
*** 17:33 15 Jun
We'd actually found a place that sold tunics like the uniform shirts in Babylon Five, and Mike and Kim had finally agreed on something, which meant that Mike was going to have to buy it. Or them; Kim was holding at least three.
"Um, hey Tu-Val, um," Mike said with a pleading look.
I guess that meant I was going to have to buy them.
Of course, Mike was actually going to have to wear them.
"I'll pay you back I swear..."
*** 18:09 15 Jun
"Welcome home! I was just about to have you all declared legally dead and sell your stuff!"
"DAD!" we all complained, while Mom said, "BILL!"
"Change and shower," Amy suggested, and then it was a race to see who could get to the bathroom first. I lost, but managed not to stick my fingers in the door before it was slammed shut.
"Slut!" Susan called through the door, and Amy laughed before she started running the shower. Susan turned to me and smiled sweetly, and said, "Flip you for the next one?"
I chuckled appreciatively at the old joke - one I'd fallen for more times than anyone would believe - and said, "No."
"Go change out of that stuff," she suggested. "I think I can skip a shower until after dinner."
"Yes motherrrrr," I growled at her, and she swung a casual slap at me, which I blocked.
"Seriously," she said as she dropped her arm, and jerked a thumb towards the parentals.
*** 19:31 15 Jun
"And you were with them, shopping, ALL DAY?" Brian asked, incredulous.
"Yep. It's not that bad." I handed him the next bowl and he dried it, thinking.
Thinking I had finally irrevocably lost my mind, I guess, because the next thing he said was, "I don't believe it." But not like I was messing with him; like I was telling him about alien abductions or something.
"It's true! Listen," I said, quieter, "if you've got a girl you're interested in, and you can get her to take you shopping, then it looks like you actually give a shit about her, and how she looks, and they really REALLY like that."
"Are you serious?" he said, half convinced.
"Go ask Susan or Amy if you don't believe me, or Mom. I swear, I am not lying to you." I crossed a finger over my heart. "Just don't, DO NOT agree to pay for anything until you know what it costs. The price tags'll make you ill if you're not expecting it."
I guess that convinced him, because he didn't argue further. "It really works?"
"It really works," I agreed.
*** 20:04 15 Jun
I closed the psych book and thought. Just a stage? Huh. I never went through that stage- I guess Susan and her friends doing it to me were enough to get rid of my curiosity, though. Or I'm going through it now... I threw that thought out of my mind as hard as I could.
And Mark, Ricky's little friend during Spring Break, had done it too, with June.
I guess all I can do is keep him out of his mom's stuff, because I knew I'd encounter great pain and grief if that happened again, even if it wasn't my fault. Miz Parker seemed like she'd put up with one mistake in each category and no more, and I didn't want to test it. And get it over with as soon as possible. How long does this last, anyway? I opened the book up again.
*** 21:10 15 Jun
"Oh, Amy, no-"
"I swear, Tuck, I won't do anything," she said, holding her right hand up in the oath-taking position, and her left hand over her heart, or over the lacy bits on the short nightgown she'd bought today.
"But, I mean, why?"
She gave me a look which told me I was being the stupid one. "Nightmares?"
I sighed, and thought about it.
"I promise I won't fall on you again," she added.
*** 21:16 15 Jun
She wanted to read, and I wanted to sleep, so she ended up next to the light, and I turned away from it. I was beyond tired...
*** 06:00 16 Jun
I was a little surprised when my alarm shut off without me slapping it, and that woke me up. I was cuddled up spoonwise with Amy.
She made a small noise of comfort and put her arm across my stomach, which felt vaguely familiar, like we'd been sleeping that way for a long time. I was going to protest...
*** 06:09 16 Jun
The alarm went off again, and this time I sat up. Amy slapped the snooze button, and tried to pull me back down. "Amy, I gotta get ready for work, remember?"
"Nnnnnnn," she protested sleepily, but sat up herself.
*** 06:38 16 Jun
"No, Amy," I sighed, "Miz Parker was really clear - no visitors."
"But, I mean-" and then her face got all crafty.
"No."
"But what if I was training to be your substitute?"
"No!"
"But-"
"NOOOO!"
"Awww, come on, be reasonable about this," she crooned.
"No!"
A computer without a Microsoft operating system is like a dog without bricks tied to its head.
Distribution: No part of this work may be distributed as an original work by another person or group. Permission is given to redistribute this by electronic means, as long as the entirety of the work (from the BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE header to the END PGP SIGNATURE footer) is distributed, and credit is given to the original author, me. Archiving is permitted provided no fee is charged for access.
All rights reserved.
- ==[-------- Ellen Hayes @>--,--'--- ellen@barkingduck.net + PGP DH/DSS keyfing: 33D4 156A AE39 53E2 0313 6714 2878 56A8 61B0 9CDC + http://www.barkingduck.net/ehayes -=[1990]=- vicki .sig virus 11.4 +
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE----- Version: 2.6.2
iQCVAwUBOcHN1HYDebnvyV1VAQE08AP9GJkqnMhjo73aTpRIlNtc5m2K3AsUjvEL JFOw0NEc3vK3CGu3eORIsROLcfsHDRpbGCiXNl9N1sB0uiSJuwHmeNuGoQEGfv9W APUrmNQbyG4bXkI3VvED8il1I8rvY+KpGb6Hj00dH96rV6KMRFdC1mBum/uoiRDX kJUgEY4DwZ4= =f2hn -----END PGP SIGNATURE-----