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Tuck To The Hills -*- Copyright 2003 by Ellen Hayes.
Any resemblance between the writings in this work, and any actual persons or places, living or dead, are purely coincidental, except when used for satirical purposes.
This work contains adult situations, adult language, adult concepts, and possibly sex. If you are legally not allowed to read materials containing such things, then you will be breaking the law by reading this. I am not responsible. Continuing to read this document, or storing it or reproducing it in any format means that you explicitly affirm that you are legally allowed to possess and read such materials in your city, county/parish, state, and country.
All rights reserved. See the bottom for distribution rights.
Tuck To The Hills
*** 19:39 26 Sep
"Are they following us?" Mike asked eventually.
"Not yet," I said. "Drive."
*** 19:51 26 Sep
"I haven't seen any of 'em since we left," I said.
"How 'bout we stop and put you in the front seat," Mike suggested.
"Find a place..."
He did, eventually, pulling into a gas station. He jerked a thumb at the pump, which I think meant I was supposed to monitor that while he went in and paid.
*** 19:59 26 Sep
And got food, I saw. "Jeez, Mike, can't you-"
"I'm hungry," he said, "and I didn't get dinner; I was too busy getting stuff set up for this. Your mom and dad, by the way, are not very happy, but they said as long as I went with you that it was okay."
"As if," I sneered.
"You got your camera?"
"Um." He HAd asked earlier... I checked my pockets, and found it. "Yah, why?"
"Give it to me, I need it," he said, holding out his hand.
"For what?"
"To take pictures of your dead mutilated corpse so I can get your insurance money," he lied. I didn't have any life insurance; I wanted to be worth FAR more alive than not.
I sighed, and pulled the T4 out and handed it to him. "C'mon, let's get going. I hate being stopped like this."
"You've got it bad," he commented.
"Yeah, well, why else would you be doing this with me?"
*** 20:17 26 Sep
Some miles out of town, it was dark enough and safe enough that we could stop again, this time to strip and kit up.
"Where's your laptop?" Mike asked as we both got naked.
"Gave it to Susan," I said, sliding on my capilene briefs. "I don't think the charge would last that long, and I didn't think I could pad it well enough either."
"Bummer," he said. "It'd be fun to play solitaire on it or-" He blocked my kick with both his arms.
"Besides, I don't think we have much time to do that," I said as I sat down to pull socks on. "Or much of anything else."
"Got that right," he affirmed. "Your mom thinks you're insane. Speaking of which, I've got the shortwave and the batteries for it; don't forget you need to carry 'em. Your mom insisted, and your dad nodded."
"Damn," I sighed. That meant I'd better have it with me at the end, which meant one of us would have to carry it from the beginning.
"You gonna try that leotard trick again?" he asked.
I sighed, and stopped, my pants half on.
"That's probably a big part of the problem, Tuck," Mike stated.
"What do you mean?"
"It's a tiny piece of, 'What Are You Going To Do'," he said in capital letters, "which is the thing you're running away from, isn't-"
"I am NOT running away," I snarled. "Or I wouldn't have taken you. But this is JUST the kinda shit that I was afraid of last time, except Debbie's not involved.
"Everyone has their opinion about what I should do, and everyone wants me to talk about it, think about it, discuss it, see more alternatives, examine the ramifications, discuss the societal and moral consequences, and on and on and on... I am just sick of it. It's been going on over twenty-four hours now, and I don't think it's going to stop anytime soon. Is it?" I asked him directly.
He sighed.
"They're all still over at my house, except for the ones that HAD to go home, right? They're all there waiting to 'help' me some more..." I shook my head, and started pulling my pants off. "That's the problem, Mike; I can't THINK with all that going on. I needed to get the hell outta there, someplace quiet, where I COULD think, and that was the last thing any of them would let me do."
"I would've," Mike protested.
"That makes one of you. Dad, maybe two. Even Brian... That's three. The rest of 'em would be on my ass ALL the time. Out there, they can't find me, and I got time to think about it, and nothing to distract me." Technically, Susan and/or Mom could find me, but I think they knew better.
I looked around, and Mike handed me the black leotard I was looking for. "The tits hurt when I go up and down," I sighed.
"S'what I guessed," he nodded.
"Mike, no more talk. We gotta go." It was building up inside me again.
*** 20:21 26 Sep
"Makeup?"
"Oh yeah." The old fashioned kind. He pulled out a compact from his pack, and I stood still as he did me up all over, including all around my neck and my ears, then it was his turn. Dark on the vexes, light in the caves, I reminded myself as I smeared the oily stuff on him with my fingers.
*** 20:44 26 Sep
I finished tying a dograg over my head, hung another one off my deuce gear, picked up the tiny ruck Mike had packed, and I was ready to bug. "Up."
He fiddled with some stuff, shaking a bit, and stuffed some candy bars into his ruck before he stood up and slipped it on his shoulders. "Up," he finally agreed.
I checked over Mike, as he checked over me. I didn't see anything wrong with his stuff, so I nodded at him. The last thing we did was jump up and down, but aside from the noise of us hitting the ground, I couldn't hear anything.
A set of headlights pulled too close to us, but by the time they could have seen us, we'd faded, double-time, into the dark.
*** 21:33 26 Sep
It was exceedingly dark, what with a mostly-waned moon and the clouds closing in, and we weren't supposed to be in this area judging by the fences they'd put up, but we were anyway.
I stopped Mike, and keyed my radio long enough to say, "Gear check." I had to adjust my socks, which were not well adjusted, and I was beginning to think that him bringing the PASGT helmets was a good idea, since I was already getting tired of running into branches and things with my head. Goggles were useful too, but we always carried those.
*** 23:16 26 Sep
I pulled out my compass and was glad to find it still glowing. Not like there was much chance of it going out; tritium was pretty reliable.
The compass finally settled down, and I took a sighting, finding a nice ridgepoint at about 190, which was just a tad west of where we were supposed to go. If I kept all the deviations west, then when we got to the right road, we'd know which way to go from there. Simple, really. I signaled to Mike, and we started moving again.
*** 01:09 27 Sep
"Tuck," Mike gasped. "What the hell..."
I had to clear my throat before I could talk, but I hawked loose the dried stuff coating my windpipes and told him, "It's burning off."
"I'm burning out," he complained.
"Ssst!" I tapped his shoulder and motioned to move out again.
*** 04:54 27 Sep
The fourth time Mike stumbled, which was just a few minutes after the third time, I realized that we were going to have to find a laager and lay up for the day. I tapped out, 'Stay here quiet I look laager.'
'O K,' Mike tapped back, slowly, and didn't bother to get up; he just rolled himself into a more comfortable and less visible position.
*** 05:33 27 Sep
I'd ended up rigging both hammocks myself, and half-carrying Mike to the laager site too, but this place was pretty well overgrown, so it wasn't very likely we'd be spotted.
I thought about eating something, but the idea made me sort of sick, so I didn't; I just had some more Gatorade from the canteen I hadn't emptied yet.
"Watches?" Mike croaked.
'I got it,' I told him over the radio, tapping very slowly, and patted his leg, which was about the only thing I could reach. 'Sleep.'
"Hrgh," he agreed, and arranged himself in his hammock, which I'd set up as a chair, and stopped moving. About thirty seconds later, his breathing changed, telling me he was already asleep.
I would have said it was too quiet, but I'd been in the woods before, and it wasn't quiet at all, with the insects and stuff, and the wind blowing and rustling the trees. As we stayed still, the animal noises increased, which told me we were safe for the moment.
The whirling in my head was still going, but really slow, and I could tune it out by concentrating on hearing as far as I could.
*** 09:23 27 Sep
I knew this was going to happen, I sighed to myself as it started to rain. I bumped Mike a few times and pressed the Morse key for several seconds.
"Uh?!"
'Rain' I tapped.
"Wh- Shit," he sighed.
*** 09:28 27 Sep
We'd rigged our ponchos basically inside the hammocks, and Mike and I had taken a latrine break, and then he went back to bed. The rain wasn't bad where we were; I'd picked a spot that was leeward of the wind, and that hadn't changed, so most of the rain hit our backs or heads, where the ponchos covered us completely. Not by coincidence.
*** 10:44 27 Sep
I'd spend a nice hour washing a tarp off in the rain, then started using it as a giant funnel to collect rainwater into our canteens. It was going to take a while to fill them all up, but we had the time, and if I did it now, we wouldn't have to do it later on. If the rain lasted long enough, of course; but I thought this counted as camping, which meant it would probably rain the entire weekend.
Unless it snowed.
*** 14:18 27 Sep
"Uh?"
I twisted around, and Mike looked like he was waking up, finally. I slid myself out of my hammock and walked around to where we could see each other easier. <Good morning,> I signed at him as I hunkered down.
<H,> he signed back, which I took for 'hello', and continued to wipe his eyes and make chewing motions in his mouth.
When it looked like he'd finished, I started signing at him, <Rain for weekend, says N.W.S. We can walk safe in rain.>
<I have to go,> he signed back.
I was going to be irritated until I realized it was a good idea.
*** 14:21 27 Sep
As Mike stood up and readjusted his clothing, I used my parang to fill in the cathole, then wiped the blade off, first on the side of my boot and then with a dograg, and put it back in the sheath. <Get ready to walk,> I signed when he was finished.
<Food,> he countered, which awoke some part of my deeper brain which rose up and demanded FOOD NOW, so when we went back to the hammocks, I got an MRE out of my ruck and slit it open. It didn't take Mike long at all to find enough energy to do the same thing.
*** 14:42 27 Sep
<Walk.>
"Bitch," Mike commented.
*** 15:00 27 Sep
<Wait,> Mike signed as we were about to start. <Did you sleep?>
I sighed. <No. Head too...> I didn't know the signs for that one, so I just looped a finger around my ear.
<Are you alright?>
I nodded. <Getting better,> I claimed. Maybe I was. Certainly, I didn't feel any worse, even though maybe I should have, after not sleeping for thirty hours.
<When you sleep?>
I shrugged. <When I need to, O-K.>
<Yes,> he agreed.
Again, I didn't know the signs for what Mike was communicating, but him pulling at his hair in frustrated anguish told me enough.
*** 17:29 27 Sep
"Ssst!" I turned back to see what Mike wanted, and heard a click-whirr from my camera, that he was holding. He put the camera away and gave me a thumbsup. I gave him a different sign, but he just grinned.
*** 21:03 27 Sep
I was starting to tire, so when I fell for the second time, this time almost going base over apex, as Dad liked to call it, Mike called a halt. We set up a tarp to hide the light and I brewed up some water for tea. I thought we could use some more water, but that was just sort of reflexive paranoia on my part; we still had a couple of liters each.
"Better?" Mike asked.
I sighed, and nodded.
"Feel like calling in? It's check-in time."
I sighed deeper.
*** 21:09 27 Sep
"Status nominal," I reported, "confidence high. No traffic, over."
"Good luck, godspeed, and keep your powder dry," Dad said. "Out."
"Mom must not be around," I said, as I turned off the radio and started pulling down the antenna we'd just set up. "She'd have said something." Mike just shook his head. I thought about arguing with him, but it wasn't worth it now, so I just sipped at my tea, and started packing back up, just in case we had to leave suddenly.
'M R E X Q' Mike tapped on our radios, which took me a minute to decipher.
'Y'.
He sighed in relief, and when he'd gotten the antenna wire rolled up again, he put his tarp on the ground and pulled another MRE out of his ruck. I didn't know why he was so hungry; he'd been stuffing his face with Snickers bars every hour or so. I knew I wasn't; he'd given me a couple or three, and I was getting sick of them, and of food entirely.
*** 21:26 27 Sep
'Up.'
"Nnnnnnn!" Mike protested, but I helped him up, and we started off again. My legs were really starting to hurt.
*** 03:19 28 Sep
<Close enough,> I signed. There were so many lights, it was possible to communicate with sign rather than via Morse or voice. Well, it sure seemed like a lot after the darkness we'd been in for the last two nights. You could see the sky-glare for a couple of miles, if you were paying attention and if your eyes were adapted, which I was and mine were, respectively.
<You sleep?> Mike asked.
<Can you watch?> I asked back.
Pause.
<Too close to town,> I added.
*** 07:11 28 Sep
Mike had fogged out before I did, so I made sure he was hidden, and I stood watch, literally. My legs were in agony at this point, and walking around was a bad idea, but I did it anyway, because it helped minutely. I'd already had about as much of the normal painkillers as I could take at one time, and I was playfully batting around the idea of using something serious, like I had been thinking about idly for the last few hours, when I saw a car drive up to the gas station.
It wasn't one of our cars; it looked like Kim's.
I ducked, then slowly crawled back to Mike, keeping half an eye on the gas station. It helped, sometimes, if you didn't look directly at a person; then they wouldn't feel like they were being watched.
*** 07:16 28 Sep
I shook my head a bit, not sure if I was hallucinating or not. The shaking didn't help things; Kim and Jill kept getting closer, and calling our names. Loudly.
I signaled Mike for an open ambush.
*** 07:17 28 Sep
Maybe it had been a mistake to come in on a small worn path; they were coming along it themselves. On the other hand, we hadn't made the worse mistake of actually standing around ON the path.
"Jill, this is stupid," Kim griped. "If they're here, they'll find us or the car or something, and if not, we'll call in a while to find out what the fuck. I'm going back-"
When she turned around, I poked her in the shoulder, which provoked a scream the likes of which I'd never heard outside the movies, full throated, way above high C, and with everything she had. It honestly scared me. Jill flinched so violently I thought she was going to break something, and when she whipped around, Kim ran over her in reverse. They both fell over, almost on top of Mike, who just dodged a bit and then fired the camera at them.
I dropped down to my hands and scuttled over and grabbed Kim's mouth before she could scream again. She hit me a lot before something Mike said made her stop. I was tempted to get in the last punch, but restrained myself, somehow. I was trembling with the effort, though.
"Ladies," Mike announced, fairly loudly, "you are both dead."
"And PLEASE shut the fuck UP," I ordered.
Kim kicked me in the head, somehow, and I smacked her in a tit in reflexive counterattack. That was a mistake, because she grunted and then snarled at me as she grabbed for my hair, ran into my helmet, got a grip on that, and tried to twist my head off as she slammed a knee into my face. I got the impression she was really mad at that point.
"Keys! Igotkeys!" Mike yelled, and that seemed like a good excuse to first disengage, which I managed with the help of some spit, and then to run like hell towards their car.
The loud and angry yelling behind us suggested that we go faster.
Kim's car chirped at us as Mike unlocked the doors with the remote.
"I'm gonna kill you!" Jill snarled from behind me, and I almost felt fingers in my harness.
"DIVE!" Mike screamed, and I dropped and rolled and complained as Jill kicked the shit out of my ribs as she tripped over me. I kept rolling until I got my feet somewhere towards the ground, powered up, fell sideways, tried it again and made it this time, and sprinted towards the car maybe two meters in front of Kim.
Mike flashed me with the camera, which didn't help at all.
"LOCK!" I yelled at him, and as he locked the doors with the remote, I jumped on the trunk and then yanked myself backwards; Kim, seeing me go up and expecting me to go over, was running around the back and had to stop and back up. Mike unlocked the passenger door manually and I threw myself in backwards, holding tightly to the door, and got it closed and locked about eighty milliseconds before Jill grabbed the door handle.
Panting pause, disturbed only by the shrieking heard dimly through the soundproofing.
"I think they're upset about something," I breathed at Mike.
"Can't imagine what."
*** 07:22 28 Sep
"You know," Mike said in an idle tone, almost ruined by the gasping we were still doing, "this shows what..." Gasp, "...Teamwork can accomplish." He took another picture, pressing the camera up against the window so the flash wouldn't bounce, which make the girls even madder.
"Yeah," I agreed.
*** 07:25 28 Sep
After some negotiation, conducted through the windows on our side with pen and paper, Mike and I spread a tarp over the front seat and unlocked the rear doors, letting the girls sit in back and recover. And bitch and moan and complain and yell... But what the hell, we were getting out of here now; and it wasn't like they hadn't made plenty of noise before now.
*** 07:30 28 Sep
"IF I'D FUCKING WANTED TO TALK ABOUT THIS!" I screamed as loud as I could, and then had to take another breath. "I'D HAVE STAYED AROUND TO TALK ABOUT IT! I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT ANY MORE!"
That seemed to get the point across fairly well, finally, because they shut up. Finally.
"My ear," Mike complained, faintly.
"Furthermore," I stated, trying for a commanding voice, "I have not slept since Friday morning, it's been raining for a day on top of me, we did twenty klicks or more, I am tired, I am irritable, and you were NOT supposed to be the ones to pick us up this morning. I am NOT in the mood for conversation!"
*** 07:54 28 Sep
What had taken us a day and a half of hard travel on foot, had taken us half an hour of driving, to go the long way around to get back to Mike's car. I sighed a bit.
*** 07:57 28 Sep
"They said it would be hot, but it wasn't that hot, not this early in the morn-"
"Kim," I sighed, fighting the urge to strangle her, or kick her a lot of times starting in the head. "'Hot' doesn't mean the weather; 'hot' means combat conditions. Didn't they TELL you what it meant?"
"He didn't say it like that!"
"What DID he tell you?"
"He said to just stay in the car, and-"
"Then why the fuck didn't you?!"
"Tuck," Mike warned. "Knock it off," he said, and pointed at his car. I gave up and went to go sit in it. After a few seconds of that, I gave up and started flicking one of my knives into the dashboard.
*** 08:04 28 Sep
"Tuck, they are trying to help you," Mike said finally, after we'd gotten moving steadily on the highway.
I sighed, "That's what's driving me so fucking crazy."
*** 09:21 28 Sep
"Uh?"
"We're back," Mike repeated. I looked up, and it sort of looked like my house, through the fog, but I couldn't be sure.
I tried rubbing my eyes, and that cleared up most of the fog, and it was my house after all. "Oh good," I sighed.
*** 09:23 28 Sep
"Welcome home!" Mom smiled as we came in through the back door. I stood there while she hugged me for a long time, and then looked into my eyes. "Feel better?"
"I think so, yeah," I agreed. I did... if you discounted how awful I felt.
"Did you figure anything out?"
I thought about that for a while.
"Yeah, a little," I said eventually.
Pause.
"Mom, there's a lot to think about. But I'm okay. I mean, I'll live with it, and I can manage, I mean I can handle it now, I think."
"Then we need to discuss some-"
"Yeah, I know. Just, not right now."
"Tuck," Mike said from somewhere.
"Ah, buzz off," I snapped weakly.
Mom gave me another hug and told me, "Then go wash off the camo, and all that dir- NO, use the one in the basement," she ordered as I started to go upstairs. "And CLEAN IT when you're both done, okay?"
"Yes Mom," Mike and I sighed.
*** 10:10 28 Sep
The gear check was quick, because Mike had used the tiny rucks, instead of the usual looming-above-your-head monster packs, and just filled them with a few items we really needed. All we really had to worry about was washing the clothes and harnesses clean, and then making sure that everything would dry out okay, and then replacing the few things we'd actually used, like minor painkillers and caffeine pills and Esbit tabs and tea and stuff. We'd actually repack things when it all dried out. Dad had locked us into the basement until we got done, though, which wasn't especially my idea of fun; especially when Mike kept kicking me when I stopped moving because I was going to sleep.
I really did feel better, though.
Well, sort of.
I guess mentally I felt better; physically, I felt like a wreck.
Mike kicked me again and ordered, "Call your dad for the inventory. We're done."
"Oh, great," I sighed in relief, but he had to kick me again to get me to actually do it.
*** 10:12 28 Sep
"Breakfast?!" I gasped. Then I started to laugh. "Sure, whyinhell not? Sure thing! Ahahahah!"
Susan frowned in concern at me. "I think I'd better go with you."
"Lovely!" I cackled. "FanTASTic!"
Mike slapped me lightly several times, which calmed me down a lot.
*** 10:20 28 Sep
"No, I'm driving," Susan insisted as we walked out to the driveway. "You two are too screwed up to drive." I was going to tell her off, but I couldn't think of anything the right kind of nasty to call her, which I guess proved her point. Mike wasn't too happy about it either, but he didn't say anything either.
"Okay," I agreed finally, "but then you can tell us why THOSE two were there when we got done, and not you or Dad or someone."
"That'd be nice to know," Mike agreed. "Oh, and we need to stop at a photo place."
*** 10:23 28 Sep
"Okay!" Susan yelled at us, as she pulled into line formation with Kim's car. "You really scared everyone again, like you did in- Well, you scared all your girl friends, anyway, and that included Kim, Mike. I tried telling 'em that you weren't gonna get in trouble with Mike around- not like April, anyway," she corrected. "God knows you two juvenile delinquents get-"
"Get on with it!" we both yelled at her.
Susan sighed deeply, and drove silently for a while, while I fought the urge to pound the top of her head to get her to talk.
"Anyway," she finally let out, "Dad told me to go pick you two up... but Kim and Jill were like the most upset, and Kathy was the only one that seemed to be listening, and so-"
"Kathy?"
"When I told her that you," she pointed at Mike, "wouldn't let him," she jerked a thumb back at me, "get fucked up, she nodded like it made sense, and then she started trying to calm everyone else down too." She shrugged as she stopped for a red light, still behind Kim. "Didn't work worth shit. So, when I said I was going to pick you guys up, they were almost throwing themselves on my car they were so worried, and then I figured, 'What the hell, let THEM see why it's a bad idea to try interacting with Tuck when he gets like this.'"
"Thanks, Suze," I said, not at all sincerely.
"Besides, I got to sleep in," she added. "Speaking of which!" she snapped angrily. "Why in HELL did you wedge my bedroom door shut?!"
*** 10:47 28 Sep
"I actually got some sleep," Mike explained to the breakfast group, while I kept playing with the coffee to make it drinkable. "Tuh-Val didn't have any, I don't think."
"Nope!" I agreed. Watching Brownian motion with cream and coffee was really cool.
"Why?" Kim finally asked. Well, she might have asked it before, but that's what she asked me after she kicked me.
"Uh? Why no sleep?"
"Why," she started twitching her head side to side, "why any of it? What happened to you this weekend?"
I shrugged. "I needed to get away, and to think about things. I can't think when ev'rybody's talkin' at me."
"And the no sleep part?" Jill asked.
"Hard to sleep when I'm thinkin' that hard," I said.
"Also," Mike added, "Tuck gets really wired up, in a really strange way sometimes, and then it's like he's got hyperactive... uh, that hyperactive thing, what is it?"
"Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder?" Susan popped off, demonstrating that she'd had some real psych classes, or something.
"Yeah," Mike nodded, "except, no attention deficit, really; he just loses what he's got already. Has problems talking, stuff like that."
"My head gets full and I can't think straight," I explained. "Moving helps burn the energy off, drain it."
"I told Mom we should get him a giant hamster wheel," Susan said.
"How far was it?" Kelly asked.
I blinked, then rubbed my eyes, but she was still there, as Mike answered, "'Bout fifteen miles, I think. Not so far, except it was all up and down. We tried to stay on the ridgelines, though, or close to 'em, so we wouldn't have to..." Kelly blurred some, and I was happy for a second because I thought she was going to evaporate, but Susan elbowed me and Kelly rezzed back up.
*** 10:51 28 Sep
"We were just trying to help," Kim whined.
"Yeah, b- Ow! Fuck!" I complained at Mike as I tried to kick him back.
"He gets really anti-social when he's like that," Mike explained as he twisted himself into a pretzel to avoid my feet. "Kind of like now, actually," he chuckled.
As I stood up, I mentioned, "You haven't fucking seen-" but stopped when Susan grabbed me by the back of my belt and hauled me back down unexpectedly.
"Anti-social," she commented as she let go, and gave me a warning glance like Mom would've.
"Anyway," Mike went on, "since he asked you to stop and you didn't, he needed to-"
"You have a habit of avoiding things, if you haven't noticed?" Kim hissed at me.
"Who, Tuck?" Susan gaped in mock surprise, then elbowed me back.
"If he asks you to leave a topic alone, he means it," Mike stated as Susan and I debated for a bit until she got me in a thumb lock.
As I thought I'd need that thumb later, I conceded by slapping my hand on the table and Susan let go, as Kim snarled at Mike, "So how come you get to talk to her, and the rest of us are just supposed to shut up and let her fuck herself over?"
"'Cause I have a piece of Tuck's soul," Mike said, and forked some pancakes into his mouth.
Even Susan didn't care to make a smart remark about that statement.
*** 12:04 28 Sep
Dad handed me my school pack and laptop, still handcuffed together, and I managed to get it up on a shoulder without braining myself or falling over, as he complained, "What, no Sunday dinner?"
"Uhhhh!" I groaned at him.
"Tuck cooked Friday, that should count instead. If he tries cooking now, he's going to fall into the food and cook his face," Mike translated.
"Bill, let him go to bed," Mom ordered.
"Go to bed," Dad echoed.
I agreed, "Behhhd."
*** 18:52 28 Sep
"Eugene?" She must've heard me flush the toilet, damnit. I shoulda stayed in the woods. Or at least pissed out the window.
I staggered back up and to the door, spent a while trying to figure out how to open it, and then did so, finding - surprise - Mom on the other side. "Yesh?"
"Come down, have supper, and then go back to bed," she demanded quietly. "Otherwise you'll wake up at two in the morning and mess up your sleeping."
"Oh, bad," I agreed, and shut the door and went to find something to wear to the table.
*** 19:02 28 Sep
The house seemed strangely empty and quiet, even though everyone who lived here was eating at the table. "Where's Susan?" I finally asked.
"Classes Monday; she had to go back and study," Dad answered. "Speaking of which..." he frowned.
"I got all my homework done," I lied. "Babysitting Friday, remember? Plenty of time there." Mom's eyebrows shot up, and I thought she was going to call me a liar, but she didn't. I could get the rest of it done Monday during classes anyway; that was why they made them so boring, after all.
*** 20:09 28 Sep
Moving was sheer torture, even with more ibus in me, but I'd had to repack both my gear and Mike's, and then I had to do my chores, or pay Brian which I'd rather not this week. The fines Dad had hit us with Wednesday would hurt, and even more so since the money went to Dad, but they'd hurt Brian more than me, especially since I had an outside job.
"V-Tucker?"
I looked up, and it was Sabrina. "Hey," I sighed wearily.
"What happened to you during the weekend?"
"I was getting kinda stifled by all the attention, and all the demands that I think and discuss," I said carefully, "and I kept telling them to stop but they just kept on asking me questions and discussing the answers like it was some kind of English-lit assignment and they had to get it figured out before the test. So I took a vacation to think about things without anyone bothering me. Kind of like I did last April, except this time I took Mike."
"We got kind of worried about you in April, remember?" she said pointedly.
"That's why I took Mike, this time," I said.
"Oh, but," she said, then she stopped. Then she said, "Did you figure anything out?"
"Life goes on," I shrugged, and went back to mopping.
"That it does," Dad agreed from somewhere.
*** 22:39 28 Sep
Life was not going to go on much longer if I didn't get some more sleep. Or less nightmares. Especially ones about some kids at school hearing about my problems and deciding to fix them once and for all, with kitchen equipment out of the cafeteria and no anesthetic.
*** 01:04 29 Sep
"What do you mean I have to take gym with the girls?" I asked, but the new principal threatened me until I had to shut up and then it was gym class and I had to go into the locker room and then they were all waiting for me and-
*** 01:09 29 Sep
"I don't need sleep that much," I told myself. "Sleep is some sort of artifact from the times we didn't have artificial lighting; there's no reason not to be awake twenty-four hours a day now." It felt like there was still some vomit on me, so I rubbed my face in the shower spray some more.
*** 06:55 29 Sep
I was glad we had dogrags in the car kits; I needed one, or something, to keep warm out in the parking lot. I was freezing, and the temperature wasn't that low either. Bad sign. I wished I'd brought a sweatshirt or something.
"Did you get ANY sleep?" Kim accused me.
"Kim, would you leave h-h-him alone?" Jill stuttered angrily. "I don't think he tried to stay up late last night!" I shook my head in agreement. "More nightmares, right?" she confirmed, and I nodded. "How much sleep did you get?"
"Uh... maybe four hours," I guessed. "Something like that. I'll be okay, though." I thought of a diversion, and asked, "What sked is today, anyway?"
*** 07:58 29 Sep
The first thing Mike asked when he saw me was, "How much did you sleep last night?"
"Four hours," I sighed.
"Tuck, you're gonna kill yourself," Mike warned.
"It's not me!" I protested. "It's THEM!"
"Which ones, your friends or-"
"No, the other Them. My friends are just trying to drive me insane. Good MORNING," I said forcefully to George and Dan.
"Tuck," George said, "no one can drive YOU insane, you're already there." Dan laughed.
I pointed them out to Mike as an example of what I'd just said.
"At least he's not trying to discuss things," Mike mentioned.
*** 08:37 29 Sep
I'd felt like Study Hall was going to be the worst of all classes today, because of me needing to stay awake. Then I remembered that I still had a few items of homework due today, and the minutes started zipping past.
*** 10:44 29 Sep
"Tuck?" Mike asked as I sat down.
"Uh?"
"You are excused from playing today, but come over anyway."
I sighed and shook my head. "I've still got homework to do."
"Oh man," he sighed.
"You look like hell!" Amanda commented, I wasn't sure to whom.
"Don't you start," I warned, which got me a very confused look.
"You have any Dew?" Mike asked me.
"Twelve-pack." Dad had been most thoughtful, for once.
"Sheesh. Can I have a couple at lunch?"
"If I have any left," I grinned.
*** 13:13 29 Sep
It took me a little too long to process the, "Faggot!" and so I wasn't really expecting it when the hand shoved me over. I sort of went all over the place, with both bags falling off my shoulder and hitting the ground, and then I couldn't get up at first because several people kicked me as they walked past.
I came up in a rage, but I wasn't sure who was to blame, and while several people were laughing, none of them had the voice I'd just heard.
I just gave up and went to physics class.
*** 14:00 29 Sep
"I can not WAIT to get the hell outta here," I said to myself as the bell rang and we started packing up. The nice thing about labs was, you could bring in sodas and stuff and if you were discreet, Mr. Mattson would let you get away with it. So I was almost awake; and the ibus I'd snuck in and swallowed helped too. Codeine would've been nice, though, but I wasn't going to be picky since I was leaving.
*** 14:28 29 Sep
"Amazing!" I had hardly any cuts, scratches, extra bruises - most of the ones I had already were already in beautiful Technicolor and healing - or anything to show that I'd been camping. "I gotta thank Mike again for those pads. And the helmets, this time." Incredible weight, incredible protection.
I almost started putting on my school clothes again before I remembered what I had to go to next. "Shhhhh," I hissed in irritation. I could really stand to go to bed - well, I could lie - but there was no rest for the weary at the Parkers' house.
*** 15:19 29 Sep
"What'ya doin'?" Ricky asked as he came back in, apparently looking for seconds on the after-school snack.
"I have got to repack all this stuff," I told him absently.
"Why?"
"The laptop case is throwing me off balance," I said. "And I had an idea. Wanna go shopping?"
"No!"
"You sure?" I grinned at him, and he frowned.
Pause.
"Where?" he asked finally, unable to restrain himself any more, and I grinned some more, maybe even wider.
*** 15:48 29 Sep
"I'm not buying anything for you!" I told Ricky, but he was already in the shop, I think. Or he'd boiled already from anticipation and evaporated. "Wonder what his heat of vaporization is, huh?" I asked Stella as we made our slow and civilized way through the parking lot.
"Ya rug foo," she answered. I think.
"Well, don't you think that's a little high?"
"No!" And she laughed.
*** 16:11 29 Sep
"I told you, I am not buying you anything," I repeated to Ricky. I hadn't found anything like the ammo box I had in mind, so I was going to have to come up with something else. Or buy one or another of the kinds they did have, then cut them up into pieces the right size(s) and re-weld them, which I thought was sort of impractical.
"When did you say that?" he challenged.
"When we were in the parking lot."
"I didn't-"
"I TOLD you to stay with me, and if you had, you'd have heard it," I told him.
"Why not?"
"Because you don't really need anything from-"
"But it's so cool!" he whimpered, looking around frantically. I had to admit, a surplus shop was sort of like your grandfather's basement and a weird toy store rolled into one, but since this was MY money we were talking about, I was not feeling generous.
"So get your mom or dad to take you here some time," I suggested.
"You think they'd do that?"
I didn't know, but I wasn't going to say that. Instead, I said, "I think you've got a lot better shot of getting them to come in here and buy something for you, than you do with me."
*** 16:43 29 Sep
"Wood, duh," Mike said, like he was annoyed that I hadn't thought of it myself.
"Wood?" I repeated. "Isn't-"
"Nothing you can carry on you is going to be impervious to attack," he reminded me, "not if you want to carry it. So, make it out of good wood, heavy nails, caulk the whole thing, and-" #beep#
"That's a great idea, hold on, 'nother call," I said rapidly as I went over to the phone base and flashed the hook. "Hello?"
"Valerie, where have you been?!" Travis demanded.
"Ahh! Ah erk, uh, hold on-" -flash- "Mike it's Travis onna other line I haven't talked in days gotta go!"-flash-"Travis!! Oh m-"
"Valerie?!"
He sounded peeved. I asked, nervously, "Yeah?"
Travis paused for a second or three, then asked, "Are you okay?"
"Yeah... Yeah, it's just been hectic the last week," I told him. "I'm sorry about not calling and stuff... I just..."
*** 16:47 29 Sep
"Miz Parker? It's Val, I just wanted to ask if I could leave a little early? It's, uh, I haven't seen Travis in a week, and-"
"A week?" she interrupted. "How did you stand it?"
"I don't know!" I moaned.
"Well, leaving early isn't a problem," she said. "About six-thirty or so?"
The relief wave felt SO good. "Yeah, thanks SO much-"
"Can we get pizza?" Ricky asked from around my knees.
"Pickled rats for you!" I snapped at him.
"What?!" gasped a startled Miz Parker.
*** 17:04 29 Sep
I realized, a bit belatedly but not too late, that I'd better call Mike or someone to tell them that I was going on an unexpected date tonight; I didn't want all of them to panic like they did back in April. One thing that I was sure of; if enough of them got a little worried, and started talking to each other, then they'd all amp each other up into a major frenzy.
"'Lo?"
"Hey Mike, s'me."
"Sup?"
"Travis called- You heard that," I remembered.
He guessed, "You going out with him tonight?"
*** 17:45 29 Sep
"You ARE all right, though, aren't you?" Miz Parker asked me.
"Yeah... Just tired," I said.
"You seem tired all the time," she remarked.
I shrugged. "Busy life, I guess." And yawned.
"Maybe you should go home and go to bed early, instead of going out tonight."
"Oh no," I shook my head. "I was so busy since, uh, like Tuesday, I haven't called him at ALL, or called back for his pages, or anything. So, I mean..."
"Why?"
"I just got distracted, with the medical stuff and everything," I told her. "Plus catching up on the homework and stuff I missed, when I was out of class last week. There was a lot."
*** 18:22 29 Sep
"Hey," rumbled a voice from the doorway, startling me.
"Ah- Travis!" I yelped, then sped over to kiss him hello and to start apologizing.
*** 18:30 29 Sep
Not only could I fall asleep in his warm strong arms, I had. While standing up. The bass rumble in his shirt didn't bother me, but him moving did, and I woke up with a start.
"Are you hungry?" he asked down at me.
"Uh... yeah," I said, as my stomach twisted angrily. Guess he missed me sleeping, or he'd have suggested I go home. To MY place. Or, maybe he missed me too... He had seemed somewhat upset on the phone. "God, I missed you," I sighed.
*** 18:33 29 Sep
We had just made our way out to his truck when someone turned the corner down the block. "Oh, SHIT," I growled.
"What?" Travis asked, as I tried to make Kim's car explode via pyrokinesis.
Apparently I didn't have that talent either; she pulled up across the street and came out of her seat waving, not burning.
"Kim," I warned, and she stopped. "What are you doing?"
"I just wanted to see if you were okay?" she claimed.
"I'm fine. I'm going on a date. I'll see you tomorrow," I told her, and turned around and got in the truck and locked the door.
"What's going on?" Travis asked.
"Just go! Please," I added. "I don't want to talk to her right now."
"Okay," he agreed, and started the truck. I guess I could have looked back, but I didn't.
*** 18:40 29 Sep
"I DON'T want to talk about it!" I insisted. "Look, can we just go get something to eat, and you can tell me what you did this weekend? Or we could go dancing, or... or play golf, or something..."
"I'm worried about you-"
"STOP worrying!" I accidentally shrieked. "No, wait," I pleaded, putting my hand on his as I looked at him. "Look... I'm just stressed out, okay? And, Kim, and the rest of them, they're like worried about me, which is okay I guess except they won't STOP, and what I need most is to get my mind OFF what's, uh, what they want to talk about." I'd just escaped saying 'what's wrong', and that would have made Travis start acting like them. "Travis," I said softly, trying to sound calm and rational and nice, "I just want to be with you tonight, and enjoy some closeness and stuff. Okay? That would make me feel best of all. I missed you."
He sighed, very deeply indeed, then said, "Okay, I guess. I wish you'd let me help with whatever it is, though."
"Travis, nothing's really wrong. They just all think that I'm upset, and I'm not, not really. But they keep insisting that I am, and they're not listening to me... which makes me upset... which makes them say, 'See? You ARE upset! So talk about it,' and around and around..." I discovered I was trying to strangle one of them remotely, which I knew wouldn't work, so I sat on my hands.
He sighed again, and my heart sank.
"Just dinner?" he asked finally.
"Anything you want," I smiled gratefully.
*** 19:11 29 Sep
Wendy's wouldn't have been my first choice, but it did have the advantage that I didn't have to sit upright to get the food. It had the disadvantage that Travis wanted me to climb the stairs to his place before he would let me eat it, though. Somehow I managed, though things were getting a little spotty by the time I finished the climb.
"So what happened?" he asked as we sat down on the couch. Well, I sort of fell, but I made it look intentional, I thought.
"What?"
"What happened, that got all your friends worried?"
"Nothing, really," I lied with a smile. He didn't seem like he thought that was enough, so I thought about it a minute as I unpacked the food, and finally came up with, "They discovered I've got some kind of thing in my abdomen, that's not supposed to be there. So I may have to get surgery one of these days to fix it. I'm okay," I told him truthfully.
*** 19:43 29 Sep
"Mmmm mmm," someone said, and started to move me out of my warm spot.
"Hey!" I protested, and hit them.
"Come on, Val, you need to go home," Travis said as he picked me up off the couch.
"Why?! I was nice and warm there!" He laughed, which didn't make me pleased. "Whasso damn funny? Put me down, damnit!"
"Val," he sighed.
"Don't 'Val' me! What are you doing? Ah!" I mentioned as he swung me over his head like a broadsword, I thought, and somehow managed to guide me to a relatively soft landing on my feet. "Ahhhh," I whined.
"Val, you were snoring, you're so-"
"I was not!"
"Yes, you were," he insisted. "You need to go home and get some sleep, and I can see you tomorrow."
I was about to kick him when he said, 'Tomorrow'. "You promise?" I demanded.
"Promise, Val," he smiled.
"Kiss me?" I asked, hoping-
He did.
*** 20:12 29 Sep
As I drove off, I almost blanked again, and I knew this was going to require extreme measures, if I wanted to make it home.
*** 20:25 29 Sep
"Hush my
darrrrr-lin',
don't you cry.
Guard'yan, annnnngel
won't let you die," I sang along with Belinda, both of us cranked up as loud as we could get without distortion.
"Can you hear them?
They talk about us
telling lies.
Well, that's no surprise. Can you see them?
See right through them.
They have a shield, nothing gets thruuuuu the field.
Doesn't matter what they say
in the jealous games people play, hey-hey-hey!
Our lips are sealed..."
As the light turned green, and I managed to coordinate diverse parts of my body to make the car go forward, the airflow through the windows picked up again, and the cooler air helped wake me up a little more. Max-volume Go-gos and cold air would wake up just about anybody.
Stress is the mental anguish casued by your mind overriding your body's natural instinct to choke the living shit out of some asshole who desperately needs it.
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- ==[-------- Ellen Hayes @>--,--'--- ellen@barkingduck.net + PGP DH/DSS keyfing: 33D4 156A AE39 53E2 0313 6714 2878 56A8 61B0 9CDC + http://www.barkingduck.net/ehayes -=[1990]=- vicki .sig virus 11.4 +
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