The Sky In His Eyes: chapter 5
Wow, it's been nearly two months since I posted a new chapter. Does absence really make the heart grow fonder? I guess we'll find out from the feedback I get. Remember that I welcome all comments and critisism at lizard_tales@hotmail.com and my website is always open at lizard_tales.tripod.com
Enjoy the story!!
The Sky In His Eyes
Chapter Five: Making Waves
I could feel the light on my face and hear the birds singing outside, I knew it was morning but it took a few seconds for me to remember where I was and what had happened the night before. Had it been a dream? Did it really happen? Then it hit me, I was still in bed with Skyler! I was too scared to open my eyes just yet, afraid of what I'd see. I pulled my arm closer to me, hoping and praying that Skyler was still in my gentle embrace, but all I felt was the empty bed. My heart sank and shattered somewhere down near my feet, leaving me with the most empty, abandoned feeling of my life. My fears had been right. Skyler woke up to find me holding him in bed, and he'd left. He didn't want me forcing these things on him. Maybe he was even disgusted by it and just too scared or shy to say so.
The thoughts raced through my mind and brought the tears before I'd even opened my eyes. No physical pain, no cut flesh or broken bones could ever match the pain of a broken heart and crushed hopes. It built in my chest until I couldn't hold it back any longer, letting out one big sob, then another, and another. I pried my eyes open, squinting against the bright rising sun shining through the window. I propped myself up on one elbow, wiping away the mixture of sleep and tears from my eyes. I figured I'd better get out of bed, get dressed and leave before I had to face Skyler. Maybe he'd even gone to tell his dad!
"G'mornin," came the soft whisper. I looked up in shock to find Skyler sitting cross-legged at the end of the bed. He was still wearing only his boxers, his hands folded over his crossed ankles, his head lowered causing his curly bangs to hang over his eyes.
"Skyler?" I asked. Of course it's Skyler!!
"You OK, Nick?" he asked quietly. "You're cryin."
"Yeah...I'm fine," I answered, wiping my face faster in a vain attempt to hide my tears.
I didn't have any excuse or explanation for my crying, in fact I couldn't think of anything to say. But he probably knew why, he was probably thinking about the night before just as I was. He could be awfully difficult to read sometimes. I wasn't sure if he was trying to think of a way to tell me he didn't like it or if he just wanted to forget about it, or maybe he was just as mixed up as I was. I couldn't hold my breath waiting for him to bring up the subject but every time I opened my mouth to say something I lost my courage and couldn't speak. I was still lost in all this. The social skills with girls are pretty much common sense, but what do you do when it's a boy, and you're not even sure if he likes you? My frustration was growing and all I could do was look at the wall, letting out a sigh.
"You're thinking about last night aren't ya?" he asked, surprising me by making the first move.
"Skyler, I'm sorry," I blurted out. "If it makes you uncomfortable at all I won't try anything ever again, I won't even talk about it. I swear I won't do anything you don't want me to."
Try as I might, the tears were starting to return.
"Whoa, Nick, don't cry, it's OK," he said reassuringly, looking directly at me and putting his hand on my arm gently. His hand was so soft and warm and it was a real comfort to have him touching me.
"Are you sure?" I asked, not fully convinced. "You're not...like...mad at me?" I inquired, wiping my eyes again.
"Naw, it's cool mate," he said with a little smile. I was seriously relieved now and let it show with a sigh. He didn't hate me; he wasn't even upset about any of it! Skyler's grin broadened as he looked back down to his feet. He started to blush and I could tell he wanted to say something.
"What is it?" I asked nervously.
"I...it's just that...*sigh*...it was nice," he said without looking up.
"So it was...I mean...you..." now I'm stumbling with my words.
"I liked it," he said, completing my sentence.
"Really?" I asked in surprise. My smile was returning as well and I felt a little immature for crying earlier.
"Yeah," he said quietly, "it...it felt good."
This was too sweet!! It had to be too good to be true. Wake up Nick, you're dreaming. But it was real!! What I couldn't tell was if he meant it felt good to have somebody do that to him or if it felt good having me do that to him. I could have been direct and asked but I was still hesitant.
"Skyler, can I ask you a question?"
"Sure."
"Did you mean...I mean," I stumbled again, pausing to swallow the lump in my throat. "Do you like guys?"
The question didn't phase him a bit, as if he was expecting it. He sat there, looking as cute as I'd ever seen him, not moving, not making a sound, just looking down at his feet. I waited patiently, not wanting to push him but hoping and praying with all my might that he would answer `yes'.
"I...I'm not sure," he said after considering the question. It wasn't a `no' but it wasn't a `yes' either. I wasn't sure how to take his answer, but it was my move again.
"Last night you told me a secret, and I'm really happy that you trusted me enough to tell me that. It's my turn to trust you. Do you promise to keep it a secret?" I asked.
"Absolutely," he said without a second thought.
"Skyler...I...like guys." Oh my God, I just said it!
"You're..." he started.
"I'm gay," I managed to whisper. I couldn't help but feel somewhat ashamed. It was my dirty little secret. Not all that little really, more like my deepest, darkest secret. But at the same time I felt like I needed to share it with Skyler. I felt that if I couldn't share it with him that morning then I might never be able to share it with anyone, ever.
"Wow! I would never have guessed," he said. "I s'pose that's why you were so good at it last night."
I couldn't believe this! I'd just admitted to another person for the very first time that I'm gay, and he doesn't mind?
"You're OK with it? You're not mad? You don't think I'm sick?"
"Course not, Nick. You're my friend, I don't care if you're gay." The sincerity in his words and his eyes washed away any doubts I had like the waves of the ocean washing and smoothing the sands of a beach. What had I done to deserve this boy? Even as a friend. I'd been terrified that I'd ruined everything, that I'd scared him away, that he wouldn't want to know me, but none of that mattered to him, not as much as our friendship. With a sob the tears started flowing again, and in another second I was weeping openly.
"Nick, what's wrong?" Skyler asked with sudden concern, but I couldn't answer. He moved across the bed next to me, put his arm around me and pulled me close in a comforting hug. Even once I'd composed myself enough to talk I waited, just enjoying the sensation of him, his nearly naked body against mine, the soothing touch of his arms around me, and my head on his shoulder. Our friendship had rapidly broken down the barriers of his shyness and at the same time broken down my false wall of self-confidence. I was doing everything - living and breathing even - for him now, not myself. Subconsciously my hand began to move from my own knee to his, then to his flat stomach. He may not have noticed it, or maybe he was enjoying it and letting it happen. Either way by the time I realized what I was doing my hand was on his ribs, rubbing up and down slowly with my thumb inching its way towards his pink little nipple.
"Feelin' better?" he asked quietly.
"Yeah, thanks," I said lifting my head from his shoulder with a sniff. I checked quick to make sure my nose hadn't dripped any snot on him while I'd been crying. Probably wouldn't be the most attractive thing to happen. "I'm just really glad that you're cool with all this. I was...kinda scared."
In truth I was shitting my pants in half there, but no need to tell Skyler that much.
He flashed me that heart-melting grin of his and blushed a bit. That's when I realized that my hand was still on his stomach. I pulled it away but not so quickly as to draw attention to it.
"I'd better get a shower, I must smell like shit on a Tuesday," he said. I love that Aussie talk of his, makes him even cuter!! And I bet he doesn't even know he's doing it.
He did smell a little musky, but I would never describe it as..."shit on a Tuesday"? He smelled sweet and boyish like he always did, just with some extra sweat and the lingering scent of our sexual adventure the night before.
"Toss on a CD if ya want. I'll get my shower and then you can get yours while I find some breakfast," he suggested. I'd have been much happier if he'd invited me into the shower with him but I wasn't going to try pressing my luck. Skyler hopped up from the bed and proceeded out towards the bathroom. I watched as his round butt teased me from inside his boxers until he had left the room As soon as he was gone I fell back on the bed with an enormous sigh.
Truth really is stranger then fiction, I thought to myself. All my fear, worry and anxiety was unfounded. Skyler is a true friend, probably the truest I've ever had. A new fear began to creep in, however, as soon as the old ones were swept away. Yes Skyler's trust and friendship had lifted me to new highs, but I was still hoping for more. As greedy as it may sound, I wasn't satisfied. I wanted him to be my lover too.
He doesn't know if he likes guys...that could mean anything. What if he decides he's straight, or worse, what if he is gay and finds somebody else. I decided that dwelling on "what ifs" wasn't going to get me anywhere. I just had to keep myself together, and maybe I could win his heart as well as his trust.
From the next room I could hear the water running faintly and assumed Skyler was already in the shower. I wonder if he masturbates in the shower like I do? I needed a distraction or I knew I'd get all worked up again. I hopped out of bed and scanned through his CD collection, picking out the new Collective Soul disc and dropping it into his changer. I cranked up the song "Heavy", letting the bass of his big speakers thump against my chest. Loud kick ass tunes are even better then coffee in the morning.
"And all your weight, it falls on me, it falls on me..." I sang along with the CD, playing air guitar and dancing in my boxers. Spinning around on one foot I opened my eyes to see Skyler standing in the doorway giggling. Such things never embarrassed me but this time I stopped dead in my tracks. He was wearing his boxers but was mostly still wet from the shower. Water dripped from his wet hair and formed shimmering beads on his smooth chest as the scent of shampoo and soap wafted across the room.
"Sorry...didn't mean to interrupt your performance," he said giggling some more as he crossed the room toweling his hair dry. "You can grab a shower now."
He turned to look at me as he spoke and I caught his eyes wandering down to the front of my boxers. Blushing deeply he quietly said, "looks like you could use one."
I looked down to discover the prominent tent that had formed in my shorts. My face felt like it was on fire I blushed so deep. I just couldn't control myself around him. The mere sight of his body flooded my veins with hormones.
"Yeah, well...it's a good song," I said sheepishly. Skyler did his best to contain his giggling as I slipped away to the bathroom. Skyler was very cool about me being gay, but I couldn't anticipate how he'd feel if he knew I was in love with him. Things were going wonderfully and I didn't want anything to ruin our newfound closeness. I thought about what a paradox it was as I stepped into the shower and began washing my hair. I was so happy to be good friends with Skyler now, and I loved being close to him. At the same time being close to him made me only want to get closer, and I still ran the risk of losing his trust or scaring him off. It would only be a matter of time before my actions gave my feelings away. His answer about being attracted to guys gave me some hope, but if I had a chance I didn't want to screw it up by rushing anything.
Last night sure was wild though, it was almost a shame to be washing that hand. As I rubbed the soapy lather around my chest my fingers brushed over my erect nipple sending an electric shiver through my body. My cock was still hard and throbbing and I realized that through all the excitement of the night before I still hadn't relieved myself. If I didn't do something about it I'd probably spend the rest of the day with a painful, perpetual hard on.
This shouldn't take long; I've been on the edge since yesterday. My left hand cupped and fondled my balls as the fingertips of my right hand caressed my shaft. Careful not to set myself off too quickly, I closed my hand around my aching pole and began stroking it slowly. It was a bittersweet sensation, almost unbearable. Slow wasn't the way to go this time. I increased the pace not wanting to tease myself. For some backwards reason stroking quickly seems to be less intense, while slow deliberate movements can be agonizing torture. My head was swollen and sensitive and I noticed the way my hand brushed roughly against the ridge as I stroked up, so different from the way Skyler's foreskin had glided gracefully back and forth over his cock head. I lifted one foot to the rim of the tub as images of Skyler masturbating in this same shower just minutes earlier filled my imagination. Instinctively my middle finger found its way to my tight hole, just as I'd done a thousand times before. I stroked faster as my soapy finger wiggled inside, a bolt of sheer pleasure shot through me. This is it, here it comes!! My chest tightened and I gasped for a single breath, my inner muscles clamped onto my finger as I released all the pent up lust and emotion of the morning and the night before. The stream started in my balls and rushed up through my cock, shooting from the slit onto the wall of the shower. I had to concentrate to keep myself from moaning out loud or falling backwards in the tub. Did Skyler feel one tenth that much pleasure the night before? I could only hope so.
After showering I slipped into my cargo shorts and the T-shirt I'd bought on our family trip to Yosemite National Park then hopped down the stairs to find Skyler. He was in the kitchen, dressed and eating a bowl of cereal with an extra bowl set out for me. We ate mostly in silence, just our crunching and the tapping of our spoons against the bowls with an occasional smile between us.
"So what ya wanna do today?" I asked as he walked to the sink to rinse his now empty bowl.
"Hadn't thought much of it."
"I guess neither of us has lived here long enough to know there is to do," I said. "What kind of stuff were you into back in Australia?"
"Ride kangaroos, hunt with boomerangs, wrestle crocs..." he said matter of factly.
"Wha??" I asked in disbelief. That bright grin returned to his face and his blue eyes sparkled, just like the day he'd made the kangaroo juice joke.
"I'm jus' teasin' ya matey," he said with a giggle.
"Yeah, you like teasing us ignorant Americans huh?"
"Naw, its jus' that I met heaps a people on the net that had all these wild ideas of what Australia's like," he said with a smile. " `s not all that different from America, except you guys drive on the wrong side of the road and your seasons are all mixed up."
"So what did you really do," I asked again after we'd both had a good laugh.
"Nothin' special. Volleyball, soccer, swimmin' and surfin' in the summer..."
"Sweet dude, I didn't know you were a surfer. I loved surfin back home in Cali. Course now we're both stuck out here in the middle of the desert," I said with disappointment.
Skyler nodded in agreement, then after a pause his face brightened a little.
"You wanna go for a little hike? I can show you somthin."
"Sure!" I agreed, my dirty mind shifting into high gear.
"Cool, get your sunnies and your shoes," he said grabbing his sunglasses and waving me toward the front door where we sat on the marble floor pulling on our shoes. I was so busy watching Skyler, admiring his bare feet as he put on his old Nikes that I almost tied both my shoes together!!
"So where ya takin me? What did you wanna show me?" I asked as I followed Skyler out the front door and down his driveway.
"You'll see," he said with a grin. My curiosity was really brimming over now.
We walked down a few streets to a dead end at the edge of our subdivision and hopped the guardrail. Out there before us lay the Arizona desert, harsh, hot, dry and unforgiving. Yet there was a striking beauty in its solitude. A small path lead over the rocky, hard, sun baked earth, between boulders and cactus and towards what appeared to be a cliff. The trail followed the top of the cliff, the rest of the desert nearly a hundred feet below.
"You're not dragging me out here to murder me and leave me for buzzard bait are ya?" I asked. The mystery of where we were going was killing me, but he refused to give me even a hint. He was very good at keeping quiet, but then he'd had plenty of practice.
The trail descended steeply between the weathered boulders of the cliff and made for some great climbing, although the rocks were searing hot from the intense sun.
"I prefer the ocean...but it is beautiful, huh?" Skyler said looking out at the horizon.
"Yeah, makes you feel like you're the only person for miles."
"Hey Nick, can I ask ya somethin'?" he said as we hopped from rock to rock.
"What's up?"
"Well, I've been thinkin..." he said before falling silent again. I knew right away that this was something personal and could tell that he was stalling. We kept climbing and I kept quiet, letting him ask whatever it was once he was comfortable enough.
Skyler reached the bottom before me and stood staring out at the endless desert. Hopping off the last rock I stepped up beside him, watching a hawk circle above.
"How do you know you're gay?" he asked finally.
"I guess the same way straight guys know they're straight. I'm just not attracted to girls."
"So you've never had a girlfriend?" he asked as he leaned back against the rocks.
"Nope," I said taking a deep breath of dry, scented air. "Have you?"
"Sort of," he said looking down.
"Did you have to leave her when you moved?" I asked, possibly probing a little too close to a delicate subject, but I had to know if this meant he wasn't attracted to boys.
"Naw, we weren't really an item. That was last summer anyway. Well, last winter for you."
"Winter, summer, who can tell out here," I joked. We both went silent again, resting in the shade of the rocks before Skyler spoke, still looking at the mesas miles away.
"Ya hear that?" Skyler asked.
"What? A rattlesnake?" I froze.
"No...listen..."
"Sounds like...a waterfall?"
"Yep," he said with a smile. "C'mon."
We hiked another short distance into a small canyon, created long ago by a river that was now little more then a stream winding its way along the canyon floor. Finally we approached the waterfall that I'd been hearing. It was probably 30 feet high, maybe ten feet wide, with pure crystal water cascading over it's edge.
"Wow! It's beautiful," I said.
"Ain't it?" Skyler agreed. "But here's the best part."
I followed him to the bottom of the falls and watched as he kicked off his shoes and pulled his shirt off, giving me another show of his taut body as he stretched his arms over his head. He waded out into the knee-deep stream to a flat rock in the middle.
"I found this while I was hiking one day, just after I moved here," he explained as he stepped up onto the flat rock. "It's balanced on another stone underneath. And if you close your eyes...listen to the falls...feel the spray of water...you can feel like you're surfing again..."
His voice trailed off as he raised his other foot to the rock and carefully leaned forward, bending his knees slightly for balance. The rock tipped back and forth gently, pivoting under his weight. It didn't take much imagination to visualize him riding a swell in the ocean, waves breaking around him as he comes over the peak. Yet it all seemed to happen in slow motion, like the surfing videos you see on TV, calm and peaceful. I stepped closer to the falls to feel the spray of water. Closing my eyes the sound of the stream became the roar of the ocean, mesmerizing and exciting together. I could smell the salt air and feel the waves lapping at my feet, my heart pounding in time with them. At that moment, I was back in California, standing on the shore of the Pacific Ocean, and I knew Skyler was back in Australia, one with the waves.
Slowly I opened my eyes, and found myself looking directly into Skyler's blue gems. Our gaze stayed locked, just looking at and into each other and smiling. I know he could feel the love that was washing over me, just as the waterfall and stream washed over the desert rocks at our feet. It was my love for him.
I have to tell him how much I love him. I'll never be happy until I do.
"Wanna try it?" he asked. Yeah, there were all kinds of things I wanted to try with him!
"Yeah, sure!" I said taking off my shoes and socks. Carefully I stepped into the cold stream and made my way out to the rock where Skyler was still standing. He offered his hand and helped me onto the wobbling rock but didn't step down himself. We couldn't help but be pressed together.
"Just close your eyes and balance like you would on a board. The stone moves around a lot," he instructed.
"Dude, this is so cool," I said as Skyler began to step down from the rock. "It really does feel like...WHOA!!!"
As Skyler's weight came off the rock I lost my balance, falling over on top of him and knocking us both into the cold water. Compared to the hot desert air it felt frigid! We both gasped, catching our breath and laughing after the initial shock. I was inadvertently holding Skyler in my arms, one cradling his shoulders, the other on his flat stomach. We just lay there, looking at each other. Once again I marveled at his blue eyes, bright and sparkling, like the sky reflecting in the waterfall. His soft smooth face, his small pointed nose, his pink lips parted slightly. They came closer, and closer, my eyes shutting a second before his lips met mine, gently sucking at each other. I was lost in the feeling of his mouth against mine and his warm body in my hands. Either time stopped or we stayed in that kiss for an hour. It's a wonder the water around us didn't boil away from the heat I felt.
Our tender kiss slowly parted, our eyes opening again. Was it possible that he looked even more beautiful to me after that kiss? I could only give him a loving smile as his cheeks reddened with shy modesty.
"We'd better go," he whispered.
What'd ya think? Like it? Not like it? Pulling your hair out waiting for them to just get it on and have wild animal sex? Let me know what you think.