This story is entirely fictional. Any resemblances to reality including: names, physical descriptions, actions, and events are purely coincidental. This story WILL contain explicit sexual contents regarding consenting adults, I'm just not sure when. If it is illegal for you to view such material, I suggest you stop reading now. If not, continue.
The Start of Something 3 T. Vincent
If there was one noise I hated in this world, it was that of a telephone. Always, it's out of reach when it rang and I could never get it to shut up just by looking at it. I picked up the phone, still incredibly groggy; it was a Saturday morning after all. I detested morning calls.
"You said you would call last night." Jesse interrogated me. "I know it's your cellphone but it's still Mister Wallace's house and bed and I don't think it's polite to wake him up."
"There's no Mister Wallace in MY bed or MY house." I asserted myself. "Sorry, I didn't call. I got home late and just went right to bed."
"Brunch at Egghole at ten still?" Jesse giggled. I always felt that giggle reeked of ulterior motives every time I heard it. "Yes, brunch at ten. But did you have to call at 7:00?" I detested morning people.
Jesse wasn't having my morning bitchiness, "Pick you up at 9:00! Bye!" With that he hung up.
I lay in bed relaying the information last night in my head. For the first time in a long time, I honestly felt happy. I kept thinking about Cam. Never in a hundred years would I be convinced that just a kiss could've made me so absorbed and flustered. Never did I imagine it would be that addictive. Or left me dazed and mesmerized. Except maybe that time when Josh Hartman ate some coke and thought it was polite to stick his tongue in my mouth. That kiss made me numb... and so did the kiss with Cam. Except, Cam's kiss was so much better. I wanted to kiss him again. The way his lips pressed onto mine. They were so moist and firm and passionate. That kiss shouldn't have jolted my brain and caused every muscle in my legs to give out last night. But it did. I didn't think I could've remained standing last night had it not been for those strong hands which held me. I just wanted to press my lips against his and lean my body on that muscular frame of his.
"SHIT!" I glanced at the clock, it's 8:30. "GOD! I fucking hate morning people!" I jumped into the bathroom. I brushed my teeth in the shower. I thought about Cam again. Why didn't I sleep with him? Why didn't I just push it? He wouldn't have refused. I wanted to and so did he. He could've "taken advantage" of me last night if he wanted. You can't rape the willing. The more I thought about it the harder my cock got. The sound of my doorbell pulled me out of my skin and I quickly jumped out of a shower and pulled on a towel. My erection disappeared. Jesse stood at the door all smiley and energetic.
"Good morning! Why aren't you dressed yet?" he smiled. "I just got out of the shower. I was preoccupied with certain things when I was in there."
"Well, hurry up. I made reservations you know." Jesse has never made reservations. "Yes, I know." Then again, I was never punctual. I slipped on a pair of jeans over my briefs, a T-shirt, and my flip flops. "See! I'm all finished. Took 2 minutes!" I jested.
We got in Jesse's car and made for our regular Saturday brunch. Jesse supposedly had an equally eventful Friday night like mine. Apparently, when I called, he was tongue deep in someone. And apparently, after he hung up, this guy was dick deep in his ass. Apparently, they've started dating.
"So, tell me more about your boyfriend?" It was my turn for interrogation.
"Oh, well, his name is Hank. We met online. He's a teacher at the University." Jesse divulges as he pulled into the restaurant's parking lot. "How was the sex?" I furthered. "The sex was good. He was pretty thick. I'm still recovering actually; we're not stopping at that authentic Spanish shop today. I can't bottom after eating there." He was serious. We went in, sat down, and ordered mimosas.
"You're bottoming today? Already? I thought you were dating Hank now." I scolded him.
"I'm bottoming FOR Hank! I can't believe you'd think I'd break my commitment to Hank already." He was serious. "Sorry! Sorry. I shouldn't have degraded your relationship like that." I tried my hardest to stop from giggling. I guess mine reeked of ulterior motives sometimes too.
"How was the sex?" He asked. "We didn't have sex. And we're not stopping at that homemade Baklava booth at the market today either. I can't masturbate after I eat that stuff."
Jesse spoke dryly. "Did you want to have sex with Cam last night?"
"I did. I still do. But he didn't feel it was appropriate for a first date." I proceeded to tell Jesse about what exactly happened last night. I just left out "Heric Zimmermann." I wasn't sure exactly why I left Eric out. Normally, I would tell Jesse everything and vice versa. However, I felt like being a bit selfish. A part of me wanted to selfishly keep Eric in there. Just for me. No one else to know but me... And maybe Eric... But he doesn't have to know. I wondered what Eric thought of me. I felt like a high school boy again. When I was in high school, I was skinny and frail. I was geeky and nerdy. My feelings were fragile and so was my self-esteem. Still to this day, I remember the feelings I felt about the only guy I ever had a crush on; a stupid football player. Those feelings weren't easy to suppress, especially not for a fourteen year old with the emotional intelligence of bad gay porn. Yet, I felt those feelings all over again. Eric brought out those feelings all over. However, it was a stupid boy crush. I hated myself for dredging up useless emotions over a guy I don't even know. I wanted Cam. I felt that I wanted Cam. I'm sure I wanted Cam.
"Are you in love?" Jesse's tone was much more serious now. "Huh? No... I don't think I'm in love. But I think I could be in love with him."
"I'm happy for you Troy." Jesse smiled at me. "I think it's great you're dating. You know I care for you and it's healthy that you've found interests in a social setting again. You had me worried when you stopped caring about men. People in general actually."
"Well, I'm glad you're worried about me. Was I that much of a hermit?" I felt exposed.
"I would say so... it was sad to me that you were so reclusive. Troy, you literally enjoyed your own company for the past year."
"I'm sorry." I felt guilty. "I think it was just a phase. To be honest, I'm really glad I'm dating. Thanks for hooking me up with Cam by the way." I winked. Jesse poured me a second glass of mimosa. "I think he's in love with you already."
"Sorry, what?!" I was surprise. I knew Cam liked me, especially after last night but I think love is a bit soon.
"Well, to be honest, I didn't want to introduce you to him at first. I guess I was overprotective of you, especially seeing how vulnerable you were at that time. I didn't want to have to pressure you into dating, especially when you didn't show the least remote interest in it. You know, it wasn't until you told me about `symphonic man' that I thought then to introduce you to Cam." Jesse was seriously worried about me.
"Basically, Cam bugged me for a month about you. He literally asked me every chance he saw me how you were or have I spoken to you. He was pretty upset with me because I wouldn't give him your information. I kept making excuses and blah blah. Anyways, Cam demanded to know why I didn't want him to go out with you. So, I insisted on knowing why he wanted to so badly."
"How long ago was this?" I wondered. "About three weeks ago, right before you met `symphonic man' and decided to revive your faith in men again." Jesse still didn't know Eric's name. "But after work Cam asked me to go to get a drink with him and demanded that I let him know my reasons for keeping you away. He was kind of a bully about it too."
All of this brought a lot of warm feelings for me. I knew Jesse loved me but never would I have thought he was this protective. I felt really happy inside. Truth be told, actually, second truth be told, Jesse did have it pretty correct about me. I was reclusive for the past few year. Third truth be told, for the past two years. More than reclusive, I was pretty vulnerable. I had just graduated and started doing the grown up thing. You know, lived by yourself, paid your own bills, cooked for yourself. My parents were pretty sad that I decided to move out; my mother was Asian and therefore, very traditional about kids staying home. I, on the other hand, wanted a bit more freedom, particularly to explore my sexuality. Being twenty-three at the time, I was still a virgin. The only sexual (relatively) experience (gay) I ever got was a kiss on the lips from a friend on New Year's Eve at midnight. I just wanted a date. I knew I wasn't the most assertive, or aggressive, or bold. But I wasn't a shy introvert. But, still, like every young twenty something, I "needed" a boyfriend. Back then, I used to go out with Jesse to these bars and clubs on the weekend. But I could never got the nerve to ask a guy to dance or to go out, unlike Jesse. However, when I did get the nerve up to ask a guy out, I was always met with rejection. I wasn't afraid of rejection. I just got impatient. Finally, after a year or so of rejection and incompatibility and date/drug transactions I was fed up with being impatient and found better outlets. I stopped going out with Jesse. I started reading more on the weekends. I attended symphonies more often. I even masturbated less. At one point, I thought I was asexual. Turned out, I'm still pretty gay.
"So, I met him after work to explain my actions." Jesse continued. "I'm surprised you agreed?" I was still deciding which part to be surprised about.
"Well, I thought about it and when it came down to it, I really wanted to know why he wanted to go out with you so badly. I was checking to see if his intensions were good and that you weren't going to turn out to be just a fuck for him."
"Well, I wouldn't mind that." I joked. "Come on, be serious. I'm trying here." Jesse cringed.
"Sorry." I felt bad. It wasn't that I didn't want to take Jesse seriously. I was afraid of this story. "Anyways, we spent a few minutes arguing about who was at fault and blah blah. So, he told me that I was being selfish in not letting him get to know you." `DAMN!' was the only thing in my head. "Um, what exactly did you tell him about me Jesse?"
"I told him the truth. I said, `Troy is my best friend and he's the only person I called best friend. He's a nice guy and he deserves the best. I don't want him to be an experimental piece for you to "reassure" your sexuality." I immediately cut Jesse off. "WHOA! You actually told him that? Why?"
"Well, I wanted to just get down to the core of it. Clearly, he was barely divorced and I was pretty sure he's still uncertain about his sexuality. I wanted to see if how he'd react. If it was the truth; that he's using you for his own `learning experiences', then I'd let him know then and there that he's not going to meet you, ever."
"So, what did he say?" My curiosity was inflamed. "He said he has never been more certain about his sexuality. He said that I had no right to deny you of such experience. Then he went on and on about how if I had respected him as a coworker and a person I would not deny him you."
"Why do I get the feeling that struck a bad nerve with you?" I was absorbing a lot of everything at this moment. "Well, what he said did annoy the hell out of me. But well... you don't know Cam's personality very well yet have you?" I shook my head.
"Well, Cam is a very aggressive guy. Assertive, dominant, very direct type A kind of guy. You would think so since he's a lawyer. And ever since I've known him, that's the only Cam I knew. But well, before I was about to let him understand a thing or two about respect, he said `Jesse, I normally wouldn't even go through a middle man to get what I want. I would've approached Troy on my own already. But, you, you're his best friend. You would know if he's ready. I don't want to ask Troy out, only to realize he might be in love with someone else or prefer staying single or is taken. I'm not afraid of rejection. I'm afraid of him rejecting me without giving me a chance to show that I could be a good guy for him. I promise I won't hurt Troy. He's a smart guy, if he doesn't like me, he doesn't like me. But at least then I tried. I promise I wouldn't do anything that would make Troy do something out of character. I just want to go on a date with him and let him know how I feel about him. Like I said, if he doesn't like me, I'll back off. So... just help me... please?'"
Hearing Jesse described Cam's confession made me pondered whether Cam was in love with me already or not. I wouldn't mind if he's in love with me. I wouldn't mind falling for him. If he was in love with me, what sparked it? Clearly, I did something when we first met, otherwise, he wouldn't have remembered, let alone "yearned." `What the hell happened?" But regardless, it'd be nice to fall in love with Cam. I've never been in love.
We finished our brunch and made our way to the market. We go to the fresh market after brunch every Saturday. The market was three blocks away from the restaurant, so we walked there to work off the brunch every time. I've always tried to support small businesses. A few years ago, the city opened up a section of Jansen Park and created sections for rural farmers to come and sell their stuff. Well, at first there weren't a lot of people, however, all good things in due time. More and more people supported the farmer's market and before the city knew it there were vendors, kiosks, and shops opening right near them. Jesse and I walked the trail every Saturday, so much that a lot of the vendors knew our names; some thought we were dating. We let them think we are. I particularly enjoyed the vendor who brought her freshly baked goods every morning. Be it a pumpkin loaf, some banana bread, or just fresh bread slices, I'd buy dozens. Jesse on the other hand, loved the smoothie stand towards the end of the trail. His main reason was they have the exotic fruits he liked growing up as a child in Hawaii. I was munching on some homemade flan (we stopped at the authentic Spanish shop) when Jesse had an epiphany.
"I think I know why he didn't sleep with you last night." Jesse simply said. I spoke reflexively, "You think he was trying to keep his promise to you? Not breaking me out of `character'." I've clearly been thinking about it more than he had.
"I'm pretty sure that's why he didn't. I'm sure he would have loved to get your virgin ass in bed." If there's one thing I knew about Jesse, it was if he started to talk about sex, it would shift him onto so many tangents and we will never get back to the original conversation. So I stopped him; just this one time because it was about Cam. "Would it have been so bad if he did get me in bed with him?"
"Ha ha, normally, I would've lost all respect for him if he tried but... hearing you and how much you enjoyed a kiss, I don't think it would be so bad now." And suddenly, "How big do you think Cam is?"
I feigned stupidity, "About 6'1", 180lbs. I think."
"NO!!! His dick... How big do you think Cam's dick is?" Jesse was never patient unless it was his joke. "Oh, I don't know, how big should he be?"
"He is a lawyer. They always have big egos... But those never compared well to their actual dick sizes. I'm gonna say Cam's average. Although, he does sport a nice bulge in his slacks." Jesse continued to prophesize. "You know, I think Cam could be huge. Maybe he's both a grower and a shower. Oh my God! What if he's a bottom? How disappointing would that be? How disappointing would that be for you? I don't think I could go through with it if he was a bottom. I mean, trust me Troy, he's handsome and all but it would be so much better if you bottomed. Cam used to be straight. That means he was supposedly `all top.' So, since he's gay now and he's discovering that he enjoyed men, what if he enjoyed bottoming more. That would be HORRIBLE. That's like... you and him... It's like... TWO bottoms. Two skinny bottoms. You know why two skinny bottoms should never have sex with each other?"
"JESSE!!! Have you not heard anything I told you?" I felt like it was time to intervene. Jesse used to be a top... then he discovered bottoming. All of his fears then became irrational... at least when it came to sex. He believed bottoms would eventually overrun the gay population and he has to convert back to being a top just to maintain a gay status. Didn't I say it was irrational? "Cam said he's a top. And! I'm pretty sure his dick is above average."
"How do you know?" Why are friends always the first ones to be skeptical? "I know because when he pulled me in to kiss him last night it felt pretty big."
"I don't trust jeans. They're very misleading. The majority are padded." Jesse was about to further his disbelief. However, I needed a turn. I too, had irrational fears. Okay, not had. I still have irrational fears. "What if I'm not tight?"
"What?" Jesse squinted. I continued, "Well, I was just thinking, what if I'm not tight. I mean, how would I know if I was really tight or the he is just being polite? I would like to be tight for Cam. It's the polite thing to do isn't it? And you know, now that I know he's a top and that he's hung." Jesse interjected, "You don't know if he's hung. I'm telling you, jeans are misleading."
"Well, what IF he's hung? What if he's hung and he fucking me..." Once again, Jesse interjected, "What if he's a bottom?!" I ignored it, "What if he's fucking me and he tells me to relax and I loosen up too much that he can't feel my grip on it?"
We continued this horrid conversation all the way to the end of the market. Jesse decided to inform me, "Just promise me you won't do anything stupid if you do decide to sleep with him."
I was seriously confused, "What stupid things can I do?" Jesse tensed, "Well, stupid things like... not using a condom or letting him persuade you to do it bare." The light bulb turned on in my head. "OH!" I paused for a moment; Jesse is such a good friend, "I promise I will use a condom."
"You might have to if he turns out to be a bottom." Jesse walked toward the Vietnamese smoothie stand. "I'll buy you a passion fruit smoothie if you promise me you won't let Cam have free reign."
I thought about it for a while in my head. I wouldn't mind letting Cam take free reign... But Jesse wasn't wrong. "Okay. But mango."
Jesse dropped me home and went to meet Hank. I was pretty sure Jesse would let Hank take free reign. It was about four o'clock in the afternoon now. I was going to take a shower and look online for a theater show or something. If not, I was just going to read something and go to bed. My cell phone rang. It was Cam.
"Hello Cam." I sounded like a Catholic school girl whose parents finally allowed to date. "Hey Troy, how are you? You having a good day so far?"
"My day was pretty good." I told him about my Saturday routines with Jesse. "Say, what are you doing tomorrow morning?" `What the hell do I do on a Sunday morning?' I wake up late and masturbate. "Um, not sure. Did you have something in mind?" I really didn't want to hear the answer unless it involved him asking me to spend the night tonight.
"Would you like to go to church with me tomorrow? We can attend an 8:00 mass then I want to take you to breakfast or brunch." My stomach gargled. Church?! At 8:00? I haven't been to church since... ever. I hate morning church people. I was not aware that I've been sitting on a pause for about a minute now. Cam's voice echoed in my head. "Troy? You still there?"
"Which church?" `Why the hell did I ask that?' I should've refused!!! "Immaculate Conception on 4th Street." Lord! (no puns) The last thing I wanted to do was go to church. I was beginning to feel very nervous. But I pulled myself together formulated a plan. I've got to call my father after this conversation.
"I'll see you there at 7:30?" I spoke softly, completely unsure and devoid of any form of confidence.
"How about I pick you up at 7:00?" I detested morning people. "Sure. Sounds good. See you then." I hung up and felt not so well. Why did it have to be church? Why did it have to be a Catholic church? Why couldn't we have a date at a bathhouse or something? I wouldn't even mind Church's Fried Chicken. I hated churches. I was scared.
To be continued...
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