THE STORY OF US BY: Julien
This story is 100% fictional and is by no means depictive of the life of any person, place or thing. It contains sexual activities between males and should only be read if it is legal to do so in your area. Read at your own risk. Comments are welcomed and would be very much appreciated. ENJOY!
I would like to thank my editor Frank for doing such a great job on editing - thanks a lot man...
RICHIE
I peeked out from behind the curtain and watched as he made a final bow to the crowd and ran off stage in my direction. He smiled when he saw me and winked. Instinctively I turned around to see if anyone else had caught it but found that every one was busy with one thing or another. As he closed the gap between us my palms began to get sweaty and I had to wipe them on my chinos, ignoring the fact that they were laden with an admission stamp.
"Hey boo. You enjoyed the show?" he asked taking both my hands in his and holding them for what seemed like forever when in fact it was just a few seconds.
"Uh...yeah. The crowd really seemed into it." I said taking another look over his shoulder and consequently into the crowd. From what I could see, there was not an empty seat left in the house and the crowd seemed more riled up than ever chanting his name.
"Yes they were. God, it seemed every time I do a show it gets better and better." And as if the realities of what he had said hit him, he continued with, "I'm gonna miss this man. All of it, the lights, the crowds, the enigma of it all. I've been doing this since I was ten years old. I don't know how I'm gonna survive without it."
I wanted to say something, I wanted to look him in the eye and tell him that everything was going to be ok but I knew that was a load of shit. How could I look at him and tell him that giving up everything he had spent most of his life working for would be easy. I couldn't. So like a scared pack rat I just avoided his eye and looked down at his feet.
"Anyway, that's not what's important right? We're gonna blow 'em away baby, you and me. We're gonna make an incredible life together...you and me."
I couldn't tell if he were saying that for my benefit or for his own, all I knew for certain was that I felt an incredible amount of guilt in my heart. I mean, how could I not. The man was giving up not only his livelihood but also his life for us. And while a fulfilling relationship and a lifetime with the man I loved was what I had always wanted, I was beginning to wonder if the price of it all was just too great. But I couldn't tell Bobby that, how could I? I was the one that had brought him to this point of discovery. How could I just come in and rearrange his life and priorities and then all of a sudden express my doubts. It just wouldn't be fair to him. The chanting of the crowd reached a fever pitch level and drowned out my thoughts.
"I should go, after all, can't keep the fans waiting." He stated and with that, he ran back out unto the stage and out of my line of sight, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
"How should I do it?"
I looked up from the book I had been reading and turned to look at him. He had been pacing his bedroom floor for the last half an hour, something that was slowly beginning to get on my nerves.
"Do what?" I questioned looking at him intently. Something was up, that much I knew.
"Come out. I mean, how should I say it, you know, make it less of a statement and more of my right to live my life in private."
"I don't know. How do you think you should do it?" I countered. The look on his face spelled only one thing for me, T-R-O-U-B-L-E.
"You don't know. Come on Richie! You did this before, help me out here!"
"I don't know what to tell you Bobby. It's just something you have to work out on your own. I can't tell you how to come out. Each person is different. The way someone else came out may not be the best way for you to come out."
"Well I'm not asking you the best way for someone else to come out, I don't give a fuck about that. I'm asking you what you think is the best way for me to come out." By this point, I could tell that he was getting agitated, the tell tale signs were in his voice.
"I don't know Bobby. It's not something I can advise you on." I knew that was a cop out but I was at a loss for words.
"You don't know, you don't know. Fine! Well as my god damn press secretary could you please give me some fucking advice on how I should handle this shit!?!" He screamed. And it was as if a dam had burst and all my frustrations came pouring out.
"Don't you dare fucking scream at me Robert. For your information, I am your former press secretary and I have no advice to offer you on how to handle this shit so just get off my fucking back about it! If you wanted to come out you just would, without all this beating around the bush!"
"You know what Fuck..." he started but then stopped. He shook his head and started to walk out of the room but then stopped, turned and walked back over to me, "I'm so fucking sorry I want to get your seal of approval for matters that concern our fucking relationship. I'm sorry that I want to consult with you before I go and do shit and I'm sorry I give a damn about your feelings! Next time, I won't be so fucking considerate!" And with that, he walked out leaving me feeling lower than shit. Me and my big mouth. All I had to do was talk to him and even that I couldn't achieve without fucking it up. Again, a strong sense of guilt overwhelmed me and I felt as if I were responsible for all the happenings that were occurring between us recently. My sudden waves of regret and his newfound need to show his true self to the world was something that I had not prepared to deal with. I never imagined things would come this far and now that they had, I felt as if I were allowing everything that I had ever hoped for and dreamed of to slowly and ever so painfully slip through my fingers without a fight.
BOBBY
'Why did things have to be this complicated?' I asked myself over and over again. Why the fuck did it have to be me? Out of all the musicians out there, why the hell did I have to be the one to turn out like this? My life was perfect before all of this. Before, I had no doubts about my sexuality, my career or my future plans. I was a hetero man who had no problems with getting laid, my career was right where I wanted it to be and I envisioned myself singing to the masses for the next twenty years, but now...now, everything had changed and there was not a damn thing I could do about it. It wasn't as if I could turn back time and make things go back to the way they were. I couldn't change my feelings for him even if I wanted to. We were way past that. I was too far gone, in too deep with him to even consider ever going back. I was ready to chuck everything I ever envisioned myself doing for something with him and all he could do was play it off with his fucked up indecision. What the fuck did he have to be indecisive about? He was out to everyone, he had his life in order. He wasn't the one about to make a life altering decision that could break a dream, he wasn't the one about to change his lifestyle, he wasn't in my fucking position and yet still he was behaving as if the burden of the world was on his shoulders. What the fuck did he have to worry about! What the fuck did he have to worry about!! I needed Richie to be there for me right now and all I was getting from him was slack. I was doing all these things for him, for us and all I was getting in return was slack. I was down to my last straw and it wouldn't take much to just get me to pretend as if any of this never happened. But that's all I could have done, pretend. It wasn't as if I could forget, I wouldn't have even tried. How could you forget something and someone that impacted and changed your whole outlook on life? It just wasn't happening. And to think that I felt this way, and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it, frustrated me all the more. I was tempted to go back into my room and to try and talk things out with him but I knew that if I did, things would get heated again. I was still angry and if I heard something I didn't like, I would go off on him. Looking at my watch, I saw that it was almost midnight, too late to call anyone, to late to go anywhere. I walked to my linen closet and took a sheet and some pillows and for the first time in weeks, I was resigned to the fact that I would be sleeping away from Richie for a while.
MICHAEL
I stood in the parking lot of Adam's villa and attempted to start my car but for some reason it remained stagnant.
"Fuck!" I cursed once again trying to get the engine to purr as it would have on any other morning but instead, I was greeted with sputtering indicating an obviously dying battery. This p.o.s. (Piece of shit) car was bought used when I moved here and I was guaranteed that it's servicing had been maintained, something which I was beginning to doubt. All I knew for certain was that I just wanted to get out of here fast enough.
I turned the ignition into the off position, unlocked the hood and exited my car slamming the door extra hard. I walked to the front of the car and popped the hood. From a distance everything looked kosher or as kosher as I supposed a car engine was supposed to look. I attempted to touch the radiator and was rewarded with sparks that almost managed to electrocute me.
"Fuck!" I cried out pulling back my hand so fast I thought it would make a whip like sound.
"You're still trying to start it?"
I turned to the sound of the voice and noticed Adam standing behind me, his hands folded across his chest like a protective vest.
"Yes, I'm still trying to start it." I responded trying to inflict as much sarcasm into my voice as possible.
"Why don't you just let me call you a mechanic?" He asked remaining motionless.
"Because I can fucking fix it myself. Why don't you just go inside Adam, I got it covered." I stated unconvincingly.
"Yeah right," he scoffed, "if you could have fixed it you would have been miles away from here and miles away from me. You wouldn't be standing in the parking lot at fucking midnight trying to start it."
He was right of course but I wouldn't let him know that, "Why are you out here by the way? I don't need a fucking advisor on this particular matter, thanks anyway."
"I'm not here to be your advisor. I just came out here to tell you to keep your damn cursing down so that I can get some sleep. I paid a shit load of money to stay in this villa and believe it or not, I want to get my moneys' worth."
Once again I had to stifle the urge to acknowledge that he was right, again. Staying in Connecticut in these new crop properties as they were sometimes called was not a cheap thing. And the fact that he probably would be here for the rest of the week wasn't lost on me. But then again, Adam was a doctor and he damn well could afford to stay in a high-class place like this.
"Whatever. Just go back inside, you're obviously not here to help me out so go inside to your expensive villa and get your moneys' worth." I stated turning my back to him. I could tell by the silence that he was still standing there.
"You're an asshole, you know that Michael. No wonder we didn't work out."
I ignored him as I usually did when it came to matters concerning our past relationship. I just didn't have the energy to be dealing with this at this time of night.
"Fine, ignore me, like you always do, but when the cops come and cart your ass off to jail do not even bother calling my name or my number because I won't be there to help you out."
"I don't need your help Adam. And by the way, when have I ever needed your fucking help?"
"Ha, are you kidding me. How many times have you got your head bashed in and had to be carted into the emergency room and tended to. You forgot about that bar brawl a few months ago? I've gotten your ass out of too many situations to even count and the least you could do is be fucking grateful about it." His anger was apparent and I felt it deep.
"I never said I wasn't grateful Adam, cause I was." I managed to get out, my voice softening a bit. "I take that back, you did help me a lot...in the past. But shit, that was in the past Adam, way back when, way over yonder...insert any fucking cliché you want but I think you get the gist of what I'm saying. Why won't you just let it rest? Why do you want to fuck up a good memory huh?"
"A good memory. A good memory! You call dumping my ass like I was a nuisance a good fucking memory. Get off it Michael! It was more a like a bad nightmare. You used me for your sick pleasure and you fucking won't even admit it. I think that's what gets me the most. You won't even be man enough to admit it. Well let me make it real easy on you, just go ahead and admit it right here, right now so I can start getting over you ASAP. Come on. You want me out of your life so bad, admit what my real purpose in your life was for. Come on, don't clam up on me now. Come on!" He was pushing and pushing and the more I tried to ignore it, the more he got under my skin with his bantering.
"Come on Michael. You want to get rid of me so fucking bad then say it. Say it! Say it dammit!" he screamed.
Finally I had had enough of it and him and I let loose like a geiser, "fine, you want me to say it, then I will. You were a fuck Adam, a convenient fuck ok. I never had any feelings attached to you, ever, you got that. Get it through your thick, fucking skull and leave me the fuck alone." Looking at him, I could see the dejected look on his face as he stood in front of me unmoved and all I could think was 'I'm sorry I have to do this Adam, I really am'. I was about to turn away from him but thought the better of it, I needed to leave here tonight with him knowing that it was through no fault of his own that I was the way I was, I needed him to desperately know that.
"You have the money, the looks and the dick to get someone else Adam, any guy would love to have you on his arm but I'm not that guy. You need to stop nursing this crush that you think you have on me and start dating other men. The possibilities are endless. You can do...you can do so much better than me. you need to get someone who will treat you like you deserve to be treated. You need someone who doesn't have a chip on his shoulder."
"Don't patronize me Michael, I am not some child that needs you to analyze and interpret my feelings for me. I know what I want, I know what I need and I know how I feel ok. you can stand in front of me and lie your ass off about how you feel and that's your prerogative but don't tell me how I'm entitled to feel and what I deserve. I'm a grown man Michael and I can do all that shit for myself."
That little speech of his rendered me speechless and I found myself at a loss for words. How could I respond to that?
"Fine, forget I said anything, ok. Just pretend we didn't have this conversation."
"Fine."
"Good."
"Great."
We just stood there like two lumps staring at each other until, "if you want, I could take a look at your car for you. I did a two year training course in mechanics when I was in community college."
I was surprised to hear that since I had always assumed that it was an 'only the best' policy for Adam.
"You went to community college? which one?" I asked, all of a sudden eager to know what other details of his life he had neglected to inform me about.
"Kingsborough. It's in Sheepshead Bay, Brooklyn. I was born and bred in Brooklyn."
"Really. You never told me that," I stated.
"Well you never gave me a chance," he responded.
I averted my gaze from his and looked past him to a car that had turned into the villa next door. Anything was better than facing his accusatory expression.
"So you think you could take a look and see what's wrong with her?" I asked referring to the car.
"Yeah, no problem. I just have one favor to ask of you."
I was hesitant at first but if he was willing to compromise, so was I. "Sure."
"Can we do this tomorrow morning. It's almost one and I'm beat, I know you must be too. If it bothers you, I can take the couch. I'll look at the car first thing in the morning, just give me the luxury of peace, please."
What could I have done except said yes.
"Thank you. As long as there is no more screaming and no more fighting, we'll both be fine. So what will it be, bed or couch?" he asked.
"Bed. I don't feel like forcing myself into an uncomfortable position."
"Ok, I'll take the couch."
"Adam, I didn't mean it like that. We'll both share the bed, hands off each other and ourselves. Can you handle that?" I acknowledged that it probably wasn't one of the wisest things I ever said and as I waited for Adam's reaction, I found myself wondering if I could really keep a promise like that.
"Yeah...I can handle that." He stated.
For a moment I thought I saw a bit of indecision on his part but obviously I had been mistaken as he turned around and walked towards his villa. I had no choice but to follow suit.
Once inside, we made our way into the bedroom. As soon as I stepped in behind Adam, I closed the door. This caused Adam to jump.
"You ok?" I asked, noticing his sudden anxiety.
"Yeah...sure, you just...the door..." his voice trailed off into oblivion.
"Sorry, I can open it if you like."
"No, I'm good...uh, you want to use the bathroom first or..."
"No you can go first," I stated watching as he nodded and made his way inside pulling the door not quiet closed behind him. From my vantage point, I could make out the outline of his naked left hip and I had to admit it left me in an immediate state of arousal. When he bent over the sink, I caught a glimpse of his ass and it reminded me of all that I would be missing after tonight. I expected myself to feel more distressed at the thought that I would not get another opportunity to enjoy sex with Adam again but I found myself focusing more on the fact that whatever emotional connection we did have or could have had would be over as soon as I walked out the door. He walked out of the bathroom and into the bedroom having changed out of his casual clothes into plaid boxers and a white t-shirt. I noticed that he avoided my eyes and looked away when I attempted to make a connection.
"The bathroom's all yours." he stated getting into bed on the right side and then going under the covers.
"Thanks," I mumbled, staying only a second to observe his movements and then heading into the bathroom.
It had been two hours since we had gotten into bed and yet I was still unable to fall asleep. Instead I found myself watching Adam's shoulder as it rose and fell as he breathed. Somehow I found this strangely erotic and couldn't help but reach out and gently touch it. He drew in breath but didn't turn around. I took this as silent acknowledgement that he understood what was happening or at least what was about to happen. I leaned into him and kissed his shoulder gently flicking my tongue lightly over his warm skin. He shuddered and turned unto his back.
As his eyes stared at the ceiling he spoke, "What are you doing?"
"I don't know." I responded leaning into his chest and kissing the fine hairs that I found there.
He moaned but said nothing more.
I looked up at his face and slowly eased my way up till my eyes were in line with his chin. I kissed it lightly.
I thought I heard Adam whisper 'Stop,' but I allowed my mind to shut it out. He couldn't possible want me to stop what I was doing. It would be all but impossible.
I kissed the side of his neck gently and when he moaned, I added pressure to it, sucking as hard as I could.
"Please stop." I couldn't mistake what his voice had so blatantly declared but I couldn't get the message to my brain so I continued. By this point, I had reached his lips and I was like a mad man not caring one bit how I went about it, I just wanted him. I wanted to kiss him, maul him, fuck him.
"Michael." He whispered.
"Hmm." I barely managed to get out while kissing the side of his face.
"Stop...please....stop." he begged.
"Why baby, you know you want this. You feel so good Adam, so good." I whispered.
"Stop...stop." He pleaded.
And it was something in his voice that made me stop and look into his eyes. The were wet and it was that I realized that he was crying.
"What's the matter?" I asked leaning away from him unto my side.
"Nothing." He stated still staring at the ceiling.
"Something's the matter. Your crying."
And it was as if he were a volcano just waiting for his time to explode, and explode he did. Sobs racked his entire body as he started to fall apart.
"Adam." I called reaching for him only to be rebuffed.
"No, just... leave... me... alone. You don't.... care ...about... me...so...just ...go."
But I refused to have him push me away. "No, I won't go till you tell me what's wrong," I stated. He kept on repeating for me to go but I was resilient. I wasn't about to abandon him when he was in this condition.
"I'm not leaving Adam." And with that I pulled him towards me and held onto him in an embrace that was dominated more by emotion rather than sexual static. He seemed to understand, for he held onto me and cried into the crook of my neck. Any arousal that I may have had before was now deflated and the last thing on my mind was trying to get laid. And as he cried harder and harder, all I could do to comfort him was to say 'I'm sorry Adam, I'm so sorry'.
RICHIE
I walked out of the bathroom and was about to crawl back into bed when I caught a glimpse of him pacing up and down the length of the living room. It hurt me to know that I was partially to blame for his predicament. I mean here I was in his house, sleeping in his big comfy bed while he was outside on that small, uncomfortable couch. I felt guilty and I knew I deserved to feel that way. And now knowing that he was out there not sleeping made it all the more difficult for me to fall asleep.
Thinking back, I couldn't even remember what had started that stupid argument that had us both in a state of misery. And with that in mind, I was determined to settle this right now. I walked out into the living room and just watched for a moment as he rubbed his hand over his face - a sure fire sign that he was in a state of uncertainty. He looked so beautiful just standing there, his profile towards me, giving me a glimpse of what I had coming to me if I were just willing to take a chance. And I made the decision in one breath to go talk to him.
As I approached him, he turned to me, the shadows playing light and dark off his features.
"Couldn't sleep?" he asked me keeping his hands behind his back.
"No. neither you?"
"No. I've been up half the night trying to think of what started this stupid fight between us," he stated.
"And did you remember?" I asked hesitantly.
"No," he replied.
For a while we just stood there staring at each other and then one of us finally made a move. He moved into me with two quick steps and embraced me.
"Oh Bobby, I'm so sorry about tonight. I love you so much. I didn't mean to be so indifferent. I appreciate you so fucking much." I was like a runaway train without breaks, unable to stop my flow of words. He seemed to understand though and continued to hold me.
"I know you do baby, I know you do and I love you because of it. We're going to get through this, I promise you. We're going to get through whatever Richie. I promise you that."
And that was all it took for me to reach up and wrap my arms around his neck, pulling his lips closer to mine. it was a passionate kiss and I yearned for more. Not necessarily the sexual aspect of it but more so the closeness to him that it allowed me to experience.
As the kiss became more passionate, I pulled away from him and walked into the bedroom. He followed behind me and soon enough we were both in the comfort of his bed. I could feel his arousal through his boxers as he lay on top of me and his lips once again found mine. I was on the verge of telling him that I didn't want us to have sex but he already seemed to understand as he rolled from on top of me and began spooning me from behind. His hand found mine under the covers and as I closed my eyes, sleep so close, I could feel his breath on my neck and his proclamation of love resounding in my ears. it was all I needed to fall into a dreamless, tranquil sleep.
THANKS TO ALL WHO WEIGHED IN. ALL YOUR COMMENTS WERE WELL APPRECIATED AND I HOPE TO HEAR FROM ALL OF YOU THIS TIME AROUND. THANKS!!!