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None of the characters in this story are real and are not based on anyone in real life. This is a new chapter story from me, it'll be a bit of a slower start than my previous series which you can check out here http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/college/angsty-alexander/
Thanks for the lovely messages, I'm having fun moving this forward, please send any feedback to the email above or find me on tumblr mansambam.tumblr.com
"Are you and Andy back on?" Blue asks Spence as they get ready for bed.
"I told him I need more time." Spence says.
"But you do want him back?" Blue asks.
"Yes. This morning I felt so good in his arms." Spence says.
"Did something, hmm maybe I don't want to know, happen last night, given how you ended up?" Blue asks.
"No I've no idea if he unzipped us both or if I did or what but I'm glad it did." Spence says.
"You looked so right this morning. Will you trust him?" Blue asks.
"I don't know. That's why I need more time. Give it to me straight what do you think?" Spence asks.
"When you two were joking about you being the best he'd ever had it was like the light went on and he realized it was true. Thing is I think he'll cheat again, not for always but I don't think he'll be able to resist temptation not straight away." Blue says.
"But you think he will eventually?" Spence asks.
"Yeah unless you give him what he wants, to keep him for just you you'll need to add the threesomes." Blue says.
"I know. I have to decide if I can be more adventurous in bed. I can, I know I can I just don't have his curiosity." Spence says.
"But making him happy makes you happy." Blue says.
"Yeah but he always loved me for me. Will he love me if I change for him?" Spence asks.
"Wow that is a huge dilemma. You have time. He will keep on doing what he's doing but he won't start a relationship with anyone else." Blue says.
"Do you think I should date?" Spence asks.
"Yes. I mean Andy has seen what's out there It wouldn't hurt. I know you love him and don't look around but he has treated you badly. Maybe you should find a good guy rather than expect a bad one to change." Blue says.
"He's not a bad guy." Spence says.
"He cheated on you, gave you 2 STI's and lied to you repeatedly. Andy is my friend but he was bad to you, the guy he loved." Blue says.
"I know and I know I would be stupid to expect him to change and that he might break my heart. Oh fuck I can't let him back can I? Shit it really is over." Spence says the breakup hitting him again like a wave.
"Oh man I'm sorry. I am rooting for you and against you all at once. Andy loves you, he could have hooked up this weekend but he cuddled with you instead and he could have been eyeing up any ass but he was looking at yours but yeah you deserve so much fucking better." Blue says.
"But I want him. I only ever want him." Spence says sadly.
"Sleep on it. Then tomorrow tell me if you want to work on moving on and finding someone new or getting back with him and how to arm yourself." Blue says.
"Wow I am surprised you're even considering supporting me getting back with him." Spence says.
"You think I'm enabling you?" Blue asks.
"Kind of." Spence says.
"I can only help you work through this. I can't be the one to tell you what to do." Blue says.
"Thanks for helping sift through the reality. I am so weak. He said he'll work on winning me back and oh holy fuck that was the biggest turn on. I want him to go all out and fight for me." Spence says.
"Would it take much more than a few kind words and kisses?" Blue asks.
"I love him so much." Spence sighs.
"It is so hard, maybe try being real friends." Blue says.
"How are you coping being friends with Gervais?" Spence asks.
"I'm not. How did you cope with having friends Andy didn't like or other way round?" Blue asks.
"It never really happened. Until Andy cheated on me I was fully secure our friends were our friends. We had some separate friends like some of the wrestlers and from Andy's clubs but we both accepted we needed time to do our own thing. Are you worried Gervais will drop you while he's in a boyfriend fog?" Spence asks.
"I guess I don't know where I'll fit in. I don't want to come in between them, I mean if they broke up I'd not be unhappy but I don't want to break them up, or have them break up because of something I did. How do I stop coming across as so needy? Should I avoid Gervais even here unless he asks to do something? Should I not do things with him I know Jesse won't like even if he asks?" Blue asks carefully.
"What wouldn't Jesse like?" Spence asks wondering how close Gervais still is to Blue.
"Yoga and texting and." Blue takes a deep breath "And talking."
"Jesse doesn't own Gervais. I'd never have asked Andy to not talk to someone. I might have been concerned if he did yoga in his underwear with someone but if he'd been doing it before we met I wouldn't have asked him to stop. Hell it's not like my wrestling singlets are any better and Andy would never have dreamed of asking me to stop." Spence says worried about how Jesse is treating Gervais.
"But if you knew someone liked Andy. Say the two of you got back together, would you be okay with him staying friends with Elliot?" Blue asks.
"He actually cheated with Elliot, which is entirely different. Gervais kissed you one time before he and Jesse made it official." Spence says.
"I guess. I need to think some more." Blue says.
"Gervais told you he missed you and wants you around more. I'd do that, he needs a good friend like you." Spence says and Blue nods.
On Tuesday Blue is a little nervous about his date. They go to a movie and for coffee after. It is clear nothing romantic is going to happen, neither are quite in the place to be open to anyone.
"Did anything happen with you and Dylan?" Blue asks.
"Everything. He comes back to me every time he's between girlfriends. Every time I think this time he won't leave and he does. I love him hopelessly but he'll never even acknowledge we're more than friends when it's over." John says sadly.
"So why do you still hang out?" Blue asks.
"I can't imagine not being friends. We have so much in common and he's a lot of fun to be around. We are the best of friends. We're just only lovers occasionally." John says.
"That sounds hard. I've had a really nice time tonight. I wish we were both in the right place because I think we could be a pretty great couple." Blue says.
"I know. I feel like an idiot not pursuing something with you but it just wouldn't be fair on wither of us." John says.
"We should be each others beards. Fake it and see what Dylan and Gervais think about real competition." Blue says.
John laughs a little uncomfortable then wrinkles his forehead.
"Would you be up for that for real?" John asks.
"Isn't it a bit immature? Game playing." Blue asks.
"Yes." John grins.
"But we have nothing to lose." Blue says.
"Exactly. We get on, no one would ever need to know it isn't real. We just need to know if they feel the way we think they do." John says.
"And we can have a breakup if someone else comes along." Blue says.
"It is crazy but I love it. We get on, neither of us is ugly we can fake infatuation." John says.
"We sure can" Blue says leaning in to kiss John gently.
"Deal." John says kissing back.
Blue walks back into the suite with a smile on his face, the other 4 are all there. Andy is trying to show Spence he's worth taking a chance on, he's not moving back yet but he's hanging out more.
"How did it go?" Gervais asks.
"Really good." Blue says with a smile before walking into Spence's room.
"Come tell us about it." Andy shouts. Blue giggles and stays where he is, he is going to avoid Gervais for now so that Jesse will hopefully loosen up.
"Hey man what happened tonight?" Spence asks coming in.
"It was good. We're going out again." Blue says.
"But no action?" Spence asks.
"Not yet, we're taking it slow. He wants too to." Blue says with a smile that totally fools Spence.
"Come out and tell us all." Spence says.
"I have homework." Blue says.
"I don't believe you but okay." Spence says with a smile.
The following night at climbing John and Blue play it fairly cool they don't want to go too far too soon.
Blue finds himself watching Jesse and Gervais for a moment. Gervais is helping Jesse with his kit and Jesse is giving such a look of love and gratitude that it pulls Blue up short. Suddenly he sees what Gervais has, Jesse gives to Gervais what Gervais gives to Blue and Blue knows he can't compete. He really must back off and give them the space they need to get going without his shadow over them.
Blue thinks about what that might mean for him and John. He looks over at his fake boyfriend and smiles. He is a really great guy. Maybe Blue can be the one to help him get over Dylan. Maybe they could find something real. Just because they didn't have chemistry yesterday doesn't mean it can't grow.
Blue stands and walks over to where John is talking to another member and casually slips his arm around his waist. John looks at him, smiles and moves closer.
"Hey baby, have you met Miles?" John asks.
"Sure a few times. How's it going?" Blue asks.
"Pretty good. You're a cute couple. I'm glad John is finally with a good guy." Miles says.
"Thanks." Blue says smiling.
John and Blue are aware they are the subject of gossip during dinner but they ignore it. They quickly find a rhythm together, talking a little to each other and talking to others. Making sure to touch each other a little. They play the role of a new couple well, Blue half believes it.
Over the next couple of weeks Blue and John keep it up. A couple of nights a week they date, where they mostly do homework together in John's room. Blue has developed feelings for John and wishes some of their goodbye kisses would go on a little longer. Blue has suggested having some fun a couple of times but John isn't in to it. He's still totally hung p on Dylan.
Blue avoids Gervais as much as possible. He sees him on Thursdays yoga classes but he makes sure they are never alone and he avoids him in other group situations. Whilst he started out doing it because Jesse warned him to he has continued because he knows Gervais would see through the John relationship if they talked about it and he doesn't want to blow John's cover.
Andy is still trying to win back Spence and he thinks he's almost there. They go out once a week as friends and really enjoy each others company. Andy spends a lot of time in the suite hanging out and Spence loves that he has Andy's full attention. They hand out with Robin a fair bit too while he is single.
Robin and Blue are back sharing a room but not a bed. They are waiting on Andy moving back in and letting Spence have the space he needs. Blue likes that Robin doesn't hassle him about his sex life with John or about his feelings for Gervais. They are friends again but sex and relationships are something they avoid talking about.
Gervais hates that Blue is avoiding him and is unsure what he did wrong. On the climbing weekend they agreed to go back to their morning routine and to see each other more but when they got back Blue backed right off. Gervais has no idea why Blue won't talk to him, even on Thursday nights which he thinks of as their time.
Gervais is happy that Blue has John, he's massively jealous, they seem to have a much easier relationship than his own with Jesse. Jesse can be such hard work, needs a lot of attention that Gervais doesn't always have the energy for. He wishes that sometime Jesse would take care of him for a change.
A long weekend comes around, Spence and Robin have a wrestling trip and Andy decides to go home. John is away with his hiking group and Jesse has gone home too, leaving Gervais and Blue alone in the suite.
Blue is relaxing reading on the couch when Gervais comes in.
"Wow are we finally going to get to hang out?" Gervais asks coming in and sitting next to his friend.
"Uh I was about to go for a nap." Blue stutters.
"You need to tell me what I did and how I can fix this." Gervais says.
"You've done nothing wrong. We're both so busy is all." Blue says.
"Busy getting some. I'm really glad you found someone. We should double date sometime." Gervais says.
"I'd like that if Jesse is okay with it." Blue says.
"Oh he would be. So what's John like in bed? Are you happy to finally have popped that ass cherry?" Gervais asks.
"I uh, we're taking it slow." Blue says quietly not wanting to lie.
"Wow, if I had a boyfriend as hot as you, we'd never get out of bed. John has willpower of steel." Gervais says.
"It's a mutual decision." Blue says as his phone rings. Gervais shakes his head.
"Hey John." Blue says walking to his room.
"It has finally happened, Dylan said he's been crazy jealous the last few weeks and can't stand it any longer. I told him no more secret and he agreed, we're going to be a real couple. Thanks so much Blue." John says.
"Oh, are you sure. Are you not being too easy?" Blue asks trying to save things.
"No, he means it this time. It really is different. I'm sorry to fake breakup on the phone." John says.
"It's okay. I'm really happy for you." Blue says.
Blue lies on his bed and cries a little. Gervais comes in, sits on the bed and starts rubbing his back.
"Thanks but can I be alone?" Blue says quietly.
"What happened?" Gervais asks.
"John ended it." Blue says sadly.
"On the phone? Did he fuck someone?" Gervais asks angrily.
"We were fake. It was just for show to make someone jealous and it worked. They're together now so it is fake over." Blue sighs with nothing to lose.
"And you actually liked him?" Gervais asks quietly.
"I was hoping maybe it would turn into something real but it never could. He would never have seen me that way." Blue says.
"I'm sorry. Why do you keep doing this?" Gervais asks.
"What?" Blue asks.
"Putting yourself in losing situations. Why fake date some loser and not real date someone you deserve?" Gervais asks.
"Can we not talk about this? You shouldn't be in here like this, Jesse wouldn't like it." Blue says.
"Jesse would be a pretty fucking awful person if he objected to me comforting my best friend." Gervais says.
"Please Gervais. I don't want to mess things up for you." Blue says.
"Where is this coming from? What happened? We agreed to see each other more and then you drop me cold." Gervais says.
"It's hard to be around you when you're so happy with someone else. I saw how you and Jesse looked at each other and knew I had to do what he wanted and leave you alone. I miss you like crazy but I love you and want you to be happy and so I made sure I didn't get in the way." Blue says.
"What do you mean? What he wanted?" Gervais asks.
"Jesse asked me not to do yoga with you or text or talk too much. He hated seeing us together on the climbing trip, said it was embarrassing. He was right, I was trying to keep you for myself." Blue says.
"He told you to stay away?" Gervais asks super angry.
"Yes, I wasn't going to but I saw how you looked at him and knew I could never be to you what he is. I backed off. I admit I originally hoped that you'd be jealous of me and John and maybe you'd ditch him but I saw how into him you were and made sure it wasn't about that for me." Blue says.
"Of course I was fucking jealous. I don't feel a tiny bit for Jesse compared to how I feel about you. I can't date you because I would never survive the break up." Gervais shouts.